Well, after years and years of trying, I finally experienced my first prostate and anal orgasms about 7 months ago. I also had what I felt was a Super O that night, but have not repeated that. However, since then I've had regular anal and prostate orgasms and I feel that I can now do this in a fully repeatable way.
I therefore decided to write this post - firstly, as my own "bible" so I can keep coming back to it and improving my understanding. But more importantly, I wanted to share it with others who might be struggling, particularly when it comes to "letting go".
I'd also be keen to hear from those who are also successful with their orgasms to see if any of this resonates with them.
I'd better state that this is a long post. It's also not a step by step guide that you just go from a to b to c etc.
I've tried to explain the key themes and considerations below but you need to try variations of these and find what suits you best.
All of this is done without a toy or anything inserted. In fact, whilst I love feelings with the toy, I don't experience orgasms at all so I stick to Aless most of the time.
The main thing I can say is that, when I consistently get a number of them just right, the pleasure is fantastic. When I get them all right, it's just wow. And I mean wow.
RELAXATION
I feel that this is the most important element for me. And when you think you're relaxed, trust me - you are not. Absolutely not.
You can always relax more than you are. I've tried to liken it to an elevator that goes from the ground floor downwards. The lift doesn't have any signs or buttons (unless you want them) but it moves down a level and you can feel it moving down.
Every time I practice relaxing, I find I can move it eventually to yet another level down. And it can keep moving levels down. Each time, the relaxation is greater and the pleasure that goes with it is greater still.
If the techniques have worked, I'll continue relaxing and moving down layers. Sometimes, it plateaus at a very pleasurable level. And sometimes I'm just not in the mood, or can't maintain it, and the pleasure starts to wear off. But I enjoy it for what it is.
For me, understanding that you can always relax further is the key to letting go. I'll try and explain the techniques below.
TECHNIQUE - MUSCLES
Again, do not follow any of this as a step by step guide. Try what you like the sound of; vary them a little; and do different combinations.
What works for me on each "elevator level"'as I describe above can vary. However, what works for me best is breathing from my diaphragm.
I tend to lie on my left side and usually try and lie on a towel. Top leg slightly higher than the lower leg. I'm not sure that this is my best position but it seems to generate results more consistently than other positions.
On the exhale, I do a reverse kegel. This can involve a light pushing out or a strong pushing out, depending on how I'm feeling. It always amazes me how far I can actually push out if I force it. It suggests to me that I have a lot of tension already built into those muscles. I hold for 2-5 seconds depending on how I feel.
Sometimes I focus my brain on my anus; my prostate; the tip of my penis; my perineum; or can do a generally slow rollaround the muscles, stopping if I like to sense a particular area.
On the exhale, sometimes I do this slowly and controlled. Sometimes I just do like a full gasp out and see what the muscles do.
The results can vary in terms of how quickly it can build up but I normally sense pressure building in my prostate or can feel quivering in my anus. Whether it builds slowly or quickly, the inevitable result is that my body starts trying to have contractions.
I do my best to resist all of the contractions and keep it in a relaxed state. Yes, I actively and forcefully try and resist a contraction as much as possible! Doing this just means that the pleasure keeps building and building but it is very difficult to maintain. Eventually my body gives up and contracts. It can be amazing.
THE ORGASM
Inevitably, my prostate orgasms involve a lot of pressure building up in my prostate before I do a huge external contraction out. Sometimes, it will be like peeing and I can feel a lot of liquid come out (I always go straight to the toilet after this if it happens). Sometimes, it's copious amounts of thicker precum liquid. Sometimes, it's just my prostate, balls and cock pulsing with no liquid coming out.
The anal orgasms can involve a lot of quivering or sometimes feeling like I'm being fucked.
The orgasms last for many seconds and can feel like longer. You then relax for a few seconds to get your breath and then they just start again. And this keeps going for as long as I can relax. It's the most pleasure I have ever felt and, whilst some parts are like a regular ejaculatory orgasms, most of it isn't. It's like your muscles inside are rubbing together gently or firmly and just giving you immense pleasure.
THINKING vs FEELING
For me, this is the other most important part. The guidance I read previously on these forums are great. I thought I understood them but every time I practiced enough, I found I could reach another level. The original guidance wasn't wrong, it's just my understanding of it got better each time I practiced.
Just like I mention above with relaxing, I could learn to keep moving to a greater level of relaxation.
Thinking is the same. Literally do not think. Nothing.
Now, that's very easy to say but what does it really mean. So, every time I thought I was letting go and feeling rather than thinking, I wasn't. I wasn't at all. Thinking can literally involve any of these:
- counting (like breathing)
- anything off topic (work, family etc)
- thinking about your muscle contractions
- thinking about how you're feeling
- thinking about the techniques you try
Do any of the above and you're thinking, not feeling. This is continually the hardest part for me. When I get it right though, I have no thoughts whatsoever in my head. All I'm imagining is my prostate and the feelings coming from it. Or from my anus, or anywhere in my body at all really.
It's that feeling rather than thinking that also helps with letting go and removing expectations.
I am just enjoying what I'm feeling rather than thinking something better is going to happen next. As soon as any thought comes back in, things start settling back.
It's only when you can do it like this and have no thoughts that you'll know you've got it right.
TO CONCLUDE
I always used to finish with a regular ejaculatory orgasm but I rarely do that now. It just depends what I feel like but the prostate and anal orgasms do feel different to ejaculatory orgasms so I'm not hunting for the same thing.
I'm moving down the "elevator levels" of relaxation but there are more to go. If I can keep progressing 'down' and can continue to improve my feeling rather than thinking, I have no doubt that the pleasure will continue to get even better.
I do hope this is useful for some. Inevitably I won't have explained something very well or might have left some key instructions off, so please do feel free to ask a question. If nothing else, I will keep monitoring my own progress and will come back to edit this post with any improvements that I find.