I'm in Toronto.

Looking for someone that's interested in going out specifically to meet women, improve each other's game and just have each other's backs. A little friendly competition should make us both stronger.

Question for the experienced, what makes a great wingman, what should I look out for? And more importantly, how can I make sure I'm a good wingman myself?

I don't think I'm a great conversationalist and I think this is probably one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to dating, and even to to other aspects of life. I don't just mean "witty" in the sense of having more of a sense of humor, although I would include that in what I'd aspire to be, but also "witty" in the more general sense of "quick-tongued". I'm pretty smart but a lot of friends/exes would describe me as on the one hand very thoughtful but on the other hand somewhat withdrawn and deeply serious or sometimes tending to alternate between clamming up and anxiously filling space.

Title. I want to meet and practice my seduction today by hooking up. What would you strategy be?

How do you maintain attraction and keep a relationship exciting without becoming overly available?

I’m looking for honest advice, preferably from people with relationship experience.

When I first got together with my girlfriend, I felt like I was in a pretty strong position. I had my own life, things going on, and I wasn't constantly seeking her attention.

Over time, though, things changed. I genuinely fell in love with her, and I started giving her a lot of attention. We talk every day for hours, I frequently buy her things, compliment her, ask about everything, initiate conversations, and sometimes overexplain myself.

I don't regret loving her or treating her well. However, I've started wondering whether I've gone too far in making her the center of my attention.

I want to maintain my self-respect, independence, and individuality while still being loving and emotionally available. I want the relationship to remain exciting for both of us.

I have a few questions:

1. Signs of declining attraction: How can you tell if you've become less interesting or attractive to your partner because you've become too available, predictable, or overly attentive?

2. Maintaining attraction: What healthy behaviors make your partner naturally think about you, miss you, appreciate your presence, and continue feeling excited about the relationship?

3. Things that kill attraction: What habits gradually destroy romantic attraction, even when both people genuinely love each other? For example, excessive compliments, constant communication, overexplaining, always initiating, or constantly buying gifts.

4. Finding the balance: How do you balance showing love and affection with maintaining your own identity, boundaries, ambitions, hobbies, and personal space?

5. Long-term relationships: What makes someone remain attractive and interesting to their partner years into a relationship, rather than just during the honeymoon phase?

I'm not interested in playing mind games, deliberately ignoring her, or making her jealous. I want to understand the psychology of attraction and how to maintain a healthy dynamic where both people continue choosing each other.

I'd particularly appreciate honest answers from people who have experienced this themselves.

Hey guys,
I’ve been documenting my cold approach journey on YouTube under the name Aurelius.

Over the past few months I’ve filmed infields across Europe, including Budapest, Prague, Bratislava, Krakow, Copenhagen, Helsinki, Oslo and London.

The channel is primarily focused on real, unfiltered daygame footage, with some talking-head videos discussing different aspects of cold approach, mindset and dating.

I’m not trying to present myself as some guru or dating coach. I just enjoy the game and documenting the process.

If you’re interested in watching actual infields from different European cities, feel free to check it out.
YouTube:
https://m.youtube.com/@Aurelius1237?ra=m

Hey everyone,

M25 here. I've noticed a pattern over the last year or two and I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong.

I get compliments on my perfume fairly regularly from classmates, strangers, and people I already know. It happens more than I expected, and it's usually genuine ("you smell amazing," "what are you wearing," etc.). I take it as a good sign because it's a positive, spontaneous opener from them.

The problem is that nothing ever escalates from there. I say thanks, maybe tell them the name of the fragrance, we have a short chat, and then it just fizzles out. I'm starting to think I'm missing the window to take it further.

So my questions for the more experienced guys here:

1. Is a perfume compliment actually an invitation, or is it often just a nice comment? How do you tell the difference?

2. What's the right move right after the compliment? I don't want to be that guy who immediately asks for a number, but I also don't want to let the moment die. Where's the balance?

3. Should I be steering the conversation somewhere specific, or just keep it light and see where it goes?

4. Has anyone here successfully turned a compliment like this into a date or something more? What did you actually say?

I'm not looking for scripts to memorise, I'd rather understand the principle so I can apply it naturally. But concrete examples of what worked for you would help a lot.

Thanks in advance.

Don’t fall for their bullshithttps://youtu.be/W-xg71OCm-g?si=BssIdV9KPLod0GSI

Did a cold approach. I was not expecting anything other than a polite response to a question I asked her. She was very friendly. (Great body from what I can tell too). Did the “I have to run thing” which actually was true. “Can I get your number?” And handed her my phone open to enter her digits. I called it immediately to save the number. And give her my number. I saw my number pop up on her phone. So that was legit i guess lol.

Update: Already shut down (I think). I texted her just to keep my number fresh in mind. And I asked her how to spell her name so I could add it correctly to my contacts. Less than an hour later she texted back not telling me how to spell her name and saying she felt a little uncomfortable giving her number to someone she just met but she didn’t know how to say no. And she hopes I understand.

Just ignore her text and not reply? Or reply - but say what? Bring up something about what we talked about and tell her that she can feel free to reach out if she ever wants to talk more about it?

Help bros and ladies. 😂

Like is not showing any affection a big deal breaker for them?

Being a good listener has gotten me laid probably more than any other social skill. So it's extremely likely to help your game if you struggle with it like most guys do.

• Common misconception: Being a good listener is passive (just keep your mouth shut).

• TRUTH: Being a good listener is active behavior. You "do" good listening, and I'll explain how in this post.

When I behave like a good listener, I see the response on women's faces: Their eyes INSTANTLY LIGHT UP! Why? Because most guys on dates are shitty listeners so it's a surprise to them when they meet a the first man in a long time that actually knows how to listen.

WHAT IS THE GOAL OF GOOD LISTENING?

The goal is to instill a FEELING in her. A feeling of being seen, understood, validated, and a feeling of you seeing her as a good, smart, and attractive person.

She should think "wow, that guys really understands me, likes me, and supports me for who I really am".

That feeling will often cause her to grow very fond of you quickly. It goes from platonic and casual to "holy crap what is it with this guy? He's something else!" So it can spark emotional closeness and romantic feelings quickly.

When she's talking, you should look beyond her words and try to understand her as a human. To do that, you need to understand some basic stuff about humans.

Almost every human has

• A desire for love and connection

• Insecurities about not being "good enough" in some way

And yes, this also applies to very confident, super attractive women. Despite the outward "vibe" that they don't have insecurities. Trust me on this: They do. And they often aren't getting the real type of love they want, despite being very good looking.

LOOK BEHIND THE WORDS!

When she talks to you, it's important to look behind the surface words she's saying and connect it to these human elements - and see what she is revealing about her desire for love and connection, and her insecurities about not being "good enough". And you then validate those things as human and that you understand and empathize with - and sometimes you can share similar stories showing you also have those human sides.

To get to these deeper elements, pick your questions carefully. Ensure they gradually delve into these deeper human sides of her.

• Bad listening questions: Asking surface level shit about her interests, hobbies, preferences.

• Good listening questions: Asking about family, love, relationships, dating, rejection, hopes and dreams. The DEEPER stuff. Dig DEEP BABY!

Surface level questions will NOT instill a feeling of being truly seen. Deeper questions CAN instill a feeling of being truly seen. Because you digged deep enough to truly see her core.

CONVERSATION EXAMPLE:
You ask her if she has siblings. She says she has a little sister. You ask a follow-up question about that and ask "if they are close?" and then she says they used to be close, but lately it seems like her sister is texting her less.

So what is she sharing here? A desire for love and connection, and an insecurity about not being good enough. Two for one, bitch.

Then comes the next step: VALIDATE HER.

How to validate her? Answer her unasked (but implied) question: AM I NORMALL???

Most people just want to be validated. And by validated, I mean they want to hear from someone else that they are "not crazy" and that they are in fact NORMAL for feeling or thinking the way they do.

So you say something like

"sounds like you wish you were closer with your sister?"

And she says "yes". Then you might say

"I think you're very NORMAL for feeling that way. It can be painful when our loved ones seem to withdraw from us".

It can be THAT simple. You just validated her feelings, you showed you understood what she was sharing.

Now, most times you want to stay on her topic, and continue delving deeper into her relationship with her sister. But other times you can also validate her by sharing a similar story about how YOU ARE THE SAME as her. Further validating her "normalness".

For example, you might say "I can empathize with that. Something similar happened with me and my brother a few years ago". Don't go deeper than that. It's NOT all about you. Listening is about her. Keep your own side of the story short and sweet, and if she wants to know more she will 100% ask you about it, either right away or later.

2 KEY LISTENING TOOLS YOU SHOULD KNOW:

- Asking more open-ended questions (questions that cannot be answered with just one word). This invites her to share more (it shows you're interested in getting to know her deeper).

- Asking more follow-up questions instead of new topic-changing questions. This shows you care about what she's saying and want to hear more (it validates that what she says matters).

Signs of a good listener:

• Tries to get to the "core" of who she is.

• Cares about her as a human being.

• Has empathy for her struggles.

• Is truly supportive: Wants her to do well on her journey towards her own goals.

• Validates what she says.

• Often repeats what she says back to her in his own words, to clarify that he got it right.

• Ask for clarification when she says something he doesn't quite understand, or when he needs or wants more details

• Looks behind her words to connect with her deeper fears and desires.

• Talks about her most of the time

• Asks deeper questions. Is not afraid to get personal.

• Lets her be who she is

• Focuses on HER. Wants to get to know HER.

Signs of a bad listener:

• He focuses on what to say, how he can be funny, flirtatious or interesting to the woman he's with.

• Doesn't care about who she really is. If she's hot, that's enough. He's already sold.

• Has too many life issues himself, so empathizing with a woman's issues is difficult for him.

• Doesn't understand women. Sees everything from his own male perspective, and can't fathom women having insecurities or other issues with love and dating too.

• Thinks he's not good enough as he is, so he needs to impress her somehow. Often by showing off, bragging or trying too hard to be "interesting" with good stories.

• Doesn't ask follow-up question. Instead changes the topic frequently to get through his "list of questions" that he has memorized.

• When she says something he doesn't understand, he doesn't ask for clarification. He just moves on to the next topic, keeps his mouth shut, or zones out of the conversation.

• Rarely, if ever validates her.

• Takes her words at face value. Doesn't look for deeper intentions.

• Talks about himself most of the time.

• Asks surface-level questions. Avoids anything "too personal".

• Tries to change her to be who he wants her to be

• When she says something, he is worried about other things - like how his hair looks, how he will escalate, his tone of voice, or his body language.

As always guys, no AI in this post. Hope this helps a bit for some of you struggling with listening.

If you get good at this part of your game, women WILL want to hang out with you again and again and again. Peace out!

I’ve heard a lot of people say go and have fun with your friends and having a good vibe will attract women but I’ve been going out without any expectations for years and hardly anything ever happens. If I try and talk to a girl nothing comes of it, she’s disinterested. I feel like I don’t have things to say to people I don’t know, I try but nothing comes to mind. I don’t really know what to do

Yesterday i went to a rave and there was this girl who was alone and i started to open up by saying 'enjoying the music?' and then she said 'yeah'. after prolly one or two minutes i asked again whats ur name what do you do and stirred up the conversation, apparently she works in the same place where i went to college and i have a lot of friends working in her workplace(mentioned that), and then asked do you go to raves often, she said no what about you, i said yeah i go to xyz a lot during the weekends they have one tomorrow as well. she was visiting the city for the weekend and wanted to find places to go. and then she started listening to the music again and just dipped after a few minutes.

I find her again on the other side, and by that time guy #2 walks in and talks to her and grabs her number, but that guy leaves after that. guy #3 walks in after few minutes and started talking to her and was saying oh we are having a party tomorrow lemme grab ur number if u wanna come, she gave it and the guy #3 also dipped in a bit by teasing her 'youll not remember me' and the girl said 'no no ill remember dont worry'. anyways, i was like 2ft away from her so i wanted to approach her again, but then guy #4 walks in and talking to her again continuously for 4-5minutes. She said she'll be back, goes to the bathroom, and then after a few minutes , i see her with guy #5.

Now that guy #5 was super tall, and fair. he was just talking to her continously. at that point, my friend pulled me and i was dancing with him for a bit. After about 30-40 minutes or so, i try to find the girl again. there was another room in the rave so i go to that room and finally see that girl with guy #5 making out with each other like crazy. and then they just grabbed coats and got into an uber together.

I guess my main question is theres sooo many sequences that happened, where did i go wrong?? i think i was a little hesitant in the beginning to talk or maybe was talking to her in a more friendly manner whereas the other guys were saying something different???

So I just got back from a cafe where I met a really cute girl. I hit her up, we spoke for an hour or so about just what we do in our lives, what am I doing in my life, about movies, music, the usual stuff and I think it was fun to talk to her about all that and I got her number as well. I just sent her a text like hey are you done with your work and back home, made a couple of jokes here and there.

Now the thing about me is that I'm really bad at texting. I have this really bad tendency of just ghosting people or just making a conversation very dry and stuff like that. I'm not exactly sure why. I'm good at talking IRL but I'm not really good at texting at all. What she did mention is that she's free next weekend and she would like to go on a date with me and stuff. So until then I have to be interesting enough to not lose her attention span I suppose. How should I even text her bros?

From grainy imgur pics from an ancient thread, now transcribed with AI: https://cloakbin.com/1TmdkV_5#ni7Fmi3AwTUnP-vNwS7OxwpFsujfLfB3ZP3PRoSNPRk

People look down on "lines," but it's like doing a ton of math problems when you're 7. You're not solving new problems, you're doing reps to internalize connections in your brain.

Some of these lines are pretty aggro, like calling someone fat or ugly. You can soften them or just run an "abundance gambit" when you say it anyway and give no fucks.

Help

This will be my first time going out solo, and I can barely count on my two hands how many times I’ve gone out in general haha, but I thought I’d give it a try.

I’m mostly looking to find a hookup tonight, but going in with the mindset of just having fun. Any tips?

Parents say you need to show her that you like her, and that I never show affection to anyone under any circumstance and that I'm always super cold. They were scolding then but they're not wrong.

I find showing affection cringe, is that why every girl just turns cold over time? If it is my issue, how do I not find showing affection cringe?

Anyone in the region wanna go out? Night game in uptown, downtown, river. Or whatever. All my old wings are coupled up.

Why do men love spanking? What drives you to do that ?

So, I’ve moved to UK around 2 years back; since last two years I have really focused on work and studies etc and absorbing the culture shock, time has flown quickly. I would say I’ve achieved some stability and trying to look for woman.

I have had 2 long relationships back home and tbh it was never a problem to find relationships there but here I’m finding it really difficult due to: Language Barrier, probably my tone and other factors which I am trying to find. I’m bit above average, put effort in my clothing, go to gym, have started some sports too but I’m finding it really really difficult to convert small talks to dates or relationship. I didn’t have any luck on dating apps.

I really want to improve my social skills, been going out everyday, try to talk to random people and learn slangs(as much as I can do), but I dont know how to get things done. While dancing(recently joined) today’s class I noticed my voice is too low and people are struggling to understand me. English isn’t my first language that’s why I struggle sometimes.

I get too shy sometimes as well which is making it worse, dont want to be called a creep. I just been to pub/club 1-2 times (due to my focus on studies and settling in for last two years here). I’ve noticed few ladies noticing me while walking down the streets but I dont know if it mean they might want to talk?

Can anyone help me please, my goal is to at least have one serious date before this year end!

Hola a todos. Hace poco me apareció el perfil de una excompañera del trabajo en Instagram, esta en cierta manera me llamo la atencion y pues me gustaría escribirle.

No teníamos una amistad súper cercana, pero nos llevábamos bien. Mi problema es únicamente el primer mensaje para romper el hielo, una vez que la charla arranca, ya sé cómo mantenerla fluida.

¿Qué frases o estrategias recomiendan para iniciar la conversación de forma natural y sin que parezca forzado?

Done well enough with relationships in my life, but trying to get better at the fun, casual side now that I'm single again. Have never brought a woman back to my place that I just met that night, or from a first date.

Everybody talks about plausible deniability - "come back and (activity that isn't sex)," which gives her an easy out even if she comes back with you, and a reason to pretend like she's not there to sleep with you until she does. Problem is, everything I can think of would sound pretty dumb at midnight. "Come back and watch (2 hour movie we talked about" - makes no sense at that hour. "Come back and play (video game)" sounds great but I don't really have any video games. Everything sounds kinda dumb to me. I get that it's just a fun game you're both playing, but it still has to make sense.... right? Or is this a "how it makes her feel, not what the words mean" kinda thing?

They're usually informal, 1 on 1 hangouts that can be sort of considered a date. For some reason, after the first one, I never get a second, and it's a pattern at this point. It's not like I'm framing it as a friendly hangout and then dropping some long confession midway through or anything. Like I'm not making strong moves at all (honestly I wasn't making any romantically significant moves at all, but I did keep it playful).

The first one isn't too hard to get but the second feels almost impossible.

for example, if I see a girl but I’m just vibing, say I’m on a hike or cloud watching in the park, or at the beach walking, or at a solo movie night at the theater, or whatever just happy space, do you ever just let a girl go her own way in like a respectful move? a way that’s like “I see you girl but I don’t really see a point I’m in my own world”or do you slip your seduction switch everytime and pursue?

I’m a noob at this but I’m interested in starting to cold approach. However, I don’t have any friends. Is it possible to even do this when you don’t have a friendship group? What do I do if it comes up in conversations, which I feel it will do all the time? Women will see it as a red flag that I don’t have any friends. I’m 27 btw.