Hi, this is an update for my post I made like years ago. Link to it is here og post

(Trigger warning incest)

So my ex and I broke up after some major drama. Turns out my MIL was very confrontational. I ultimately decided to end things after finding evidence of extreme enmeshment and some incest related behaviour one night while going through his phone. They used to have hangouts when her husband and I were both at work, and it was all very repulsive.

When I confronted him, he blew up, and she burst through my door screaming. The whole situation was extremely scary and threatening. I had no family in the area, so it was incredibly isolating. I moved out within three days and stayed at a women’s shelter for a week until I was able to get an apartment with my friend (we were so lucky to find a place in such a short amount of time).

After that, I completely reinvented my life. I eventually moved across the country, and now I’m a flight attendant and genuinely very happy with my new life. I’m still very scared of dating, but I’m working on it.

I do feel bad for his new girl, though. She has no idea what she’s in for.

Anyway, super random update, but I also forgot I posted this. This all happened in like 2024 so sorry for any discrepancies. Thanks!

So I have been trying to keep a boundary with one of my parents about how much I can help with their finances. They keep asking for transfers, and I finally said that I need to stop doing it every time because it is starting to affect my own situation. The rest of the family found out and now everyone is saying I am making a big deal over nothing and that I should just help out more. I explained my reasons a couple times already, but it feels like no one wants to hear it. I am starting to wonder if I am wrong for holding my ground or if I should give in to keep the peace. It has been on my mind a lot and I just wanted to see how other people would handle the same thing.

Okay kind of a throwaway account but I just want to write this down and get some opinions.
Last year in December I, 18 female, saw a L'Occitane advent calendar on TikTok. I know that my dad really likes their hand soaps and some other things so I decided it might be a nice thing to get him. It was well into December when I saw it and it obviously wasn't worth getting anymore.
I kept it in mind the whole year until my mom and I went shopping in September and found the calendar in store and bought it to gift my dad. I kept the calendar in my room until today and my mom and I agreed to give it to him today.
I got the calendar, went into the living room, told my dad to close his eyes and set it down next to him. I told him to open his eyes and he just started at the bag for a moment before asking what it is. I told him it's a surprise for him, so he took the advent calendar out of the bag, but it's still wrapped in a dust bag. He asked if it was the advent calendar and my mom and I said yes. He asked if it wasn't just for women because that's what the person in store apparently told him, and we said that there's plenty of stuff for men in there. Then he asked if we used the 15% coupon that we can get through a certain portal, which we did.
During all of this he didn't once smile or even open the dust bag to look at the calendar.

I sarcastically told him that he had great enthusiasm and he started his usual speech of how he hasn't gotten gifts for the past 25 years, since being married, and that he's gotten used to it. This is true, non of use, mom, brother, or me are very good gift givers, we think very hard ever year but it's very hard to shop for my dad as everything that's kind of affordable he'll just buy himself when he needs it and things he doesn't get immediately are just too expensive as a gift.
I'm at the age where I actually notice what people like and might enjoy as gifts and also have the money to get people things their might enjoy, which is my I was so excited to have gotten this for him and to give it to him. I absolutely get that after a certain point of not getting gifts you get used to it and don't expect anything, but literally anytime I, or anyone in the family, tries to get him a gift and do something nice he pulls out the same speech.
Anyway, at that point I was literally close to tears so I just got up and went to my room and now I'm typing this. I don't need him to jump up and hug me or anything, but at least act like you at least like it a little bit and say thank you, it was a 170€ and a year of keeping it in mind after all. So, am I in the wrong for being upset or is my dad in the right for basically not reacting at all?

Just a quick story and question.
I was offered a trial at a cafe in a park that pays $32/hour. When I first checked Google Maps, the commute by train was around 56 minutes, so I thought it was manageable.
However, when I checked again today, I realised it would actually take around 1 hour and 25 minutes each way.
My trial was scheduled for 9 am and I woke up at 6 for it. The trial itself was only 30 minutes, but I started thinking about how exhausting that commute would be in the long run, especially if I had to do it several times a week.
I ended up cancelling 2.5 hours before the trial.
Now I feel really bad because I had already agreed to come three days ago, and I don’t want to come across as unreliable or disrespectful of their time.
Was I wrong for cancelling, especially on such short notice?

Okay so I (F28) was having breakfast with my parents. Breakfast was sunny side up eggs, chicken, and toast. I put eggs on my toast and my dad blew up over it. Saying that only idiots put eggs on their toast and likened it to mayo in my coffee. And said if I am to continue eating this way, I will be eating alone without them from now on. He was being very physically intimidating over me and my mom, and was saying im a shame to the family for putting eggs on toast. I told my dad to look it up on the internet that its totally normal, and he said I'm an idiot if I dont know that eggs on toast is improper. My mom said the only normal way to put eggs on toast is if you initially prepared it as so, and that the egg shouldn’t be runny.  I just want to hear some opinions on this, because I’m at a loss for words.

My in-laws has broken contact with me and my partner because they are uncomfortable with my illness. Not a very surprising situation considering their discomfort and dislike of sick people that they’ve shown in the past. With both elderly family members dying and when relatives had become ill. They’ve told him that they won’t contact or reach out to him anymore but that they expect him to reach out to them. He told them no. All this happened very recently.

In July they helped us pick out a car. They practically demanded that they wanted to help saying that they are the more experienced in the field as it’s our first car and they wanted to help us choose which one as they didn’t want us to pick something unsafe or get tricked my a cardealer. As we had a lot on our plate we gladly accepted the offer to get help. They picked out and even went and bought it for us before consulting or checking in with us first which tbh didn’t feel great. Considering it doesn’t even fulfill half of our demands, the dealer they bought it from is considered to be one of the worst in the country (with multiple police reports against them) and the car has cost about 2 K since then because there is so much wrong with it we are not very pleased. We even had a mechanic tell us we were lucky that we hadn’t been in an accident.
My partner didn’t tell them off but did tell them that they had to pay part of it which they accepted and we decided that we will not ask for their help again.

Now: When they bought the car the car included winter tires. They left these tires at their house about a 3 hours car ride away from where we live and we haven’t had the opportunity to pick them up during these months. They also told us that they prefered it if we didnt pick them as they liked having them as an excuse for us to come there. This was before I got sick. As stupid as we were we told them okay, but I did have a bad feeling in my stomach about it. We’ve had a mess of two weeks with a bad case of the common cold, him getting a new job and everything else that life throws at you and suddenly the snow came this week and he had to go quickly Wednesday to get the tires. When they were installing them they noticed that it didnt work, yes that’s right, my in-laws hadnt checked that the tires that came with the car were either good quality or even fit the car and left they at their place so we couldnt check them ourselves and had to trust them. So now they needed to get exchanged. They borrowed him his fathers car and told him that the needed to come back with it this weekend.

When I was told this I got absolutely enraged. Not only have they told their own son that as long as his lifepartner is sick neither he or his partner is welcomed at their home, they f*cked up with our tires that we shouldn’t have trusted them with in the first place apparently and now they demand that he should go back and drive all together 12 hours because of their mistake.

I told him no. After explaining to him how bizarre this is and even my own family (because I was at their place when he told me so they overheard) told him that this is not normal behaviour he agreed and today he called them and said that he can’t show up. He said that he’s behind on work because he’s been sick and he just started this job, he is still slightly sick, caughing and tired and I’m still kinda sick as well with a bit of trouble breathing and he even added that our home is a mess because we’ve been ill and this is our only day off before he has to go back. And you know what they said? No! I quote ”YOU still need to come and change the cars TODAY.”. That is 6 hours back and forth. After some discussion they decided that they could meet him halfway. Because they were not okay with waiting or coming to us. He came and told me this and I’m livid. I said that we can meet them halfway for his sake because he doesn’t want to have to fight with his family anymore than he needs to because he is still hurt by their actions earlier, but I’m so mad about this. And I find this behaviour so insane. I’m not telling them off because of respect for my partner as he has specifically told me that he doesn’t want me to, but I’m will not forget or ignore that this happened in the future.

Am I in the wrong for thinking this is unacceptable behaviour or am I in wrong here? And would it be wrong if I reached out and told they off anyways? Im guessing yes on that question and I want to protect my partners peace but this is making me livid.

I would also like to add that today is the first time they contacted him about it since Wednesday and yes I told my partner that he should had contacted them earlier about this and not in the last second but he has been so down and depressed lately and with us getting the cold and sleeping horribly and work… I know he is the one in the wrong there. But they have our car and can use it and could easily have waited a few days or came to us (which I find to be the only acceptable outcome in any situation here) when it fit them. Considering it’s their mistake from the beginning.

I’m looking for some outside perspective because the last few days have been really upsetting, and I’m having a hard time sorting through everything.

For context, I’m 30F my partner 36M, MIL 61, and my stepdaughter 14F. We all live together. I work from home in sales, and I recently found out I’m being laid off, with my last day coming up November 30. Needless to say, I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.

I want to start by saying I am not claiming to be perfect. I know I’ve slipped up on household responsibilities lately. I can acknowledge that I’ve probably been short with people, haven’t always had the best attitude, and could have done better with certain chores. I’m not trying to avoid accountability.

However, I feel like the entire situation has become about what’s wrong with me instead of addressing the actual household issues.

How this started

MIL came to me and said I wasn’t doing enough around the house, specifically mentioning dishes and vacuuming. She also said she doesn’t ask me for anything.

That statement confused me because I feel like I’ve contributed quite a bit to this household in different ways. My partner and I helped move everyone into our new rental this summer. I’ve helped MIL with things like setting up her cable, and last year I gave her $1,000 when she had an emergency vet bill.

I’m not bringing those things up because I think anyone owes me something forever. I don’t want to keep score, and I don’t expect to be praised for helping. But it makes me feel like my contributions are completely invisible when I’m told I don’t do anything or that she never asks me for anything.

Around this same time, I was trying to get some ideas for dinner because I’m overwhelmed with the mental load of figuring out meals, planning, and keeping track of what needs to happen around the house.

I wasn’t saying I couldn’t make dinner or that I didn’t want to contribute. I was looking for ways to make things easier and get everyone involved.

MIL didn’t offer any suggestions. Instead, she said that if it was so hard, she just wouldn’t eat what I made.

That really bothered me because whether she eats dinner or not, dinner still has to be planned and made by someone. Her choosing not to eat doesn’t solve the issue I was trying to address.

The family meeting

My partner and I wanted to have a family meeting to discuss household responsibilities and figure out a better system.

My thought was that we have four people living here, three adults and one teenager, and everyone should have responsibilities that are reasonable and balanced.

I suggested rotating cooking, having one free-for-all dinner night, rotating dinner dishes, kitchen resets, vacuuming, and communal spaces.

I wanted everyone to have a clear understanding of what they were responsible for so that one person wasn’t constantly having to notice everything, ask everyone to help, remind people, and manage the household.

Instead, the meeting turned into what felt like a discussion about how much everyone dislikes my personality.

MIL said I was mean, that I’ve changed, and that I’m different when my partner isn’t around.

StepDaughter also joined in and called me mean. It started feeling like an everyone-versus-me situation, almost like everyone had been waiting for an opportunity to list everything they didn’t like about me.

I was told I have a bad attitude and that whenever someone asks me a question, I’m snippy.

I work from home, and sometimes people come to me with questions or requests while I’m working. I don’t think everyone necessarily understands that working from home is still working. There are times when I’m busy, concentrating, or dealing with work stress, and I get frustrated when I’m constantly interrupted.

I can acknowledge that I could communicate that better. I don’t want to be unkind to anyone. But I also don’t think being available to everyone at all times should be an expectation.

During the meeting, I also found out MIL apparently keeps track of how much vacuuming I do.

That really hurt. Instead of someone coming to me and saying, “Hey, can we work out a better vacuuming schedule?” it felt like there had been a running tally of my shortcomings that I didn’t even know existed.

I don’t mind being held accountable. I just don’t understand why things aren’t communicated when they happen instead of being stored up until everyone is upset.

The dinner situation with stepdaughter

There was also an incident with dinner that came up during the meeting.

One evening I missed making dinner Because I took a nap and didnr hear my alarm. I apologized and messaged everyone asking if they were hungry and offering to still make something.

MIL responded that she had already eaten her TV dinner and thought stepdaughter was sleeping.

Stepdaughter responded something along the lines of, “No, there’s just no point in answering because we hardly have dinner now. I was going to figure out what I wanted in a little.”

I replied, “Dang. I said I was sorry. No need to make me feel worse about it.”

Stepdaughter then said it was fine and there were no hard feelings.

Later, she brought this interaction up as an example of me being mean.

I can understand that my response may have sounded defensive. But I also felt like I had acknowledged that I missed dinner, apologized, and offered to make it. Her comment felt like a dig at me rather than a conversation about what she needed.

I’m not saying she isn’t allowed to be frustrated. She’s 14, and I understand that she’s still learning how to communicate her feelings. But I also feel like I’m allowed to have feelings when something is said to me.

What is bothering me most

I think the biggest issue is that I feel like I’m being held responsible for the overall household dynamic.

If I don’t vacuum enough, that’s a problem. If I miss making dinner, that’s a problem. If I’m short with someone, that’s a problem.

But where is the conversation about everyone else’s responsibilities?

Why aren’t we discussing how everyone can contribute? Why aren’t people communicating when they need something? Why does it seem like I’m expected to notice what needs to be done, plan dinner, keep track of household needs, and then be cheerful and accommodating while doing it?

I feel like I’ve become the person everyone goes to, and I’m tired of managing everyone’s needs and emotions.

I don’t want to manage people anymore. I don’t want to remind grown adults to do things. I don’t want to anticipate everyone’s needs. I don’t want to be the person who has to initiate every conversation about how the household is functioning.

I want people to communicate before things blow up like this.

If someone feels I’m not doing enough, tell me. If someone needs something, communicate it. If dinner isn’t working, help come up with a solution. If chores aren’t balanced, let’s sit down and figure out a fair rotation.

I am perfectly willing to be accountable for my part. I just want everyone else to be accountable for theirs, too.

How my partner is feeling

He has been really upset about all of this as well.

He feels like he has lost his family. He’s worried that his mom may end up moving out, that his daughter doesn’t respect me, and that nobody seems to recognize the things I contribute to the household.

He’s also upset because he feels like nobody comes directly to him when they have an issue. Instead, things seem to get brought to me, or resentment builds until there’s a confrontation.

I don’t think he wants to lose his relationship with his mom or have tension between everyone. I know this is hurting him, too.

I don’t want to put him in the middle or make him choose between me and his family. But I also don’t think he should be on the sidelines while I’m expected to manage the household and absorb everyone’s frustrations.

Where I am now

I’m sad and disappointed.

I don’t necessarily want to cut anyone off or have some big falling out. I don’t even know if I’m angry as much as I’m emotionally exhausted and confused.

Part of me just wants to step back. I want to do my assigned chores, ask stepdaughter to do something when it’s her turn, and leave it at that. I don’t want to keep trying to manage everyone’s feelings or force relationships that currently feel strained.

I want to be respectful, but I don’t want to keep overextending myself to prove that I’m a good person or that I deserve to be part of this family.

I also don’t want to become cold or resentful. I genuinely want a household where people enjoy each other, help each other, and communicate.

I understand that I may have contributed to the tension with my attitude. I’m willing to reflect on that and make changes. But I don’t think the solution is for me to simply do more, smile more, and stop bringing up issues.

Am I wrong for wanting to step back emotionally and let everyone take responsibility for themselves? How do I establish boundaries without making the household even more divided? And how do I address the fact that I feel like I’m being made responsible for problems that should belong to everyone?

I’m genuinely looking for honest feedback, including where I may be going wrong. I don’t want to just be told I’m right. I want to figure out how to make this situation healthier for everyone.

we got into it over something small, like usual, and i got defensive right away. the whole time i just kept listing reasons why i was right instead of actually listening. after we stopped talking i realized i had been kind of a jerk about it and i apologized, but my partner said it felt like the apology came way too late. now i'm wondering if that really matters. like, does the timing of saying sorry make it less real, or is it enough that i got there eventually? i don't want to keep rehashing it, but the way it landed still feels off and i don't know if i'm supposed to do more or just move on.

Someone held the door for me at the entrance earlier and my automatic response was a quick thank you followed by an apology. I did not even bump into them or cause any delay, I just felt like I was taking up their time or something. It was a totally normal gesture and now I cannot stop thinking about how I said sorry for no real reason. It is one of those tiny social moments that keeps replaying in my head and I am wondering if that came off awkward or if people do stuff like this all the time without noticing. Ready to eat crow if reddit says I overthought a normal interaction.

i threw a small get together last weekend, nothing fancy, just some snacks and music so people could catch up. one friend was super late and then spent the first half hour complaining about parking and the playlist. after that the energy never really recovered. a couple people tried to shift the topic and play some games but the tension stayed. i ended up feeling like i was babysitting the mood instead of enjoying my own night. i texted the person the next day to ask if everything was okay and they said it was fine. i have not brought it up again because i do not want to start drama. still, the night felt off because of how it started and i keep wondering if i should have just asked them to tone it down or if i am overthinking the whole thing. am i wrong for feeling like they kind of killed the party for everyone?

We had been talking for a few weeks about splitting the cost of a new couch for the living room. It would have been nicer than what either of us has now and would have fit the space better. I agreed at first because it seemed fair, but once we started looking at prices I realized the total was a lot higher than I had pictured. After thinking it over I told my roommate I was not comfortable spending that much right now. They seemed pretty disappointed and said we had already planned on it. I offered to keep using the furniture we each already own and just rearrange what we have, but they think that will look worse. I am not trying to back out to be difficult, I just do not want to stretch my budget. Am I wrong for changing my mind before any money was spent?

I've been holding the line on something for a while now. The other person kept bringing it up every few days, never pushing hard but always circling back. I told them my reasons, they listened, but the topic kept returning. Last week I got tired of repeating myself and just said yes. It felt easier in the moment. Now I'm second-guessing it because I had solid reasons for the original no and nothing really changed. It wasn't dramatic or a big deal, just something small I had been consistent about. I keep wondering if I should have stuck with my boundary or if letting it go was fine. Part of me feels relieved the back-and-forth is over, and part of me feels like I undermined my own earlier decision. Just looking for an outside read on whether this is a normal compromise or whether I was too quick to fold.

We were all in the kitchen last night and two of my roommates started going back and forth about whose turn it was to clean the shared bathroom. One kept bringing up past weeks and the other kept saying they had already handled it. The rest of us were just standing there and it started feeling awkward. When someone finally asked what the rest of us thought I ended up saying the first person was probably right. I tried to keep my voice even and just state the facts, but the second person got quiet and left the room right after. Now things feel off between us. I did not mean to pick sides or start drama. I was just answering the question that was asked. Still, I keep wondering if I should have stayed out of it or found a way to keep it private. Am I wrong for speaking up in that moment?

we were supposed to split a grocery run for a few shared staples, agreed i'd grab produce and they'd pick up the rest. on the way home i realized the list was a little different from what we talked about so i swapped a couple items for cheaper options that still fit the same meals. when i got back they seemed surprised and asked why i changed things. i explained it was to keep costs down and still cover what we needed, but now i'm second-guessing if i should have stuck exactly to the plan or checked first. they haven't said anything else about it, yet i keep wondering if changing the list without checking was overstepping or if it was a reasonable call for something small. trying to look at it from both sides, was i wrong for adjusting on the fly or is this kind of thing usually fine when the outcome is basically the same?

we went out with family and at the end my aunt suggested we just split the bill evenly. the thing is, some people got drinks and appetizers and a couple of us stuck to the cheapest entrees and water. i mentioned maybe dividing it by what each person ordered instead, but that got shut down quick. my side of the table ended up paying more than what we actually consumed, and it felt off because the difference was pretty noticeable. i stayed quiet after the first pushback, but the more i think about it the more it bothers me. i get wanting to keep things simple, yet when the amounts are that lopsided it seems fairer to pay for what you had. i didnt want to make a scene, but now im wondering if i should have insisted or just let it go like everyone else. am i wrong for feeling like it should have been discussed more?

I live with two roommates in a pretty small place, so sound carries easily. Most nights I need to be up early for work, and lately one of them starts playing music or videos around 10 or 11 without headphones. I asked if we could keep it down after ten on weeknights and they said I was being uptight. I offered to buy a cheap soundbar or even pay a bit more toward headphones, but they brushed it off. Now the apartment feels tense whenever anyone wants quiet and I end up wearing earplugs just to sleep. I get that people want to relax at home, but the constant noise is wearing me down. Is it unfair to ask for a shared quiet time at night, or should I just deal with it?

i had plans with a couple of friends but really didn't feel like going out that night, so i said my phone was acting up and i might lose service. they ended up texting me updates anyway and one of them offered to swing by and give me a ride. i felt bad so i just didn't reply, hoping they'd assume the phone thing was real. later in the week someone asked how my phone was working again and i froze. i gave a vague answer and changed the subject but i keep replaying it. it wasn't a huge deal and nobody seems mad, but the whole thing feels weird now and i don't know if i should just mention it or let it go. it was such a small thing at first.

We had plans to go out last weekend and I was running late because of traffic. I texted ahead to say I was stuck, but my phone died right after, so I never saw the reply suggesting we cancel and try another night. When I finally got there I was surprised to see the other person had already left. I apologized as soon as I could charge up, but the answer was pretty cold. The next day we got into a bigger argument about how I should have double-checked or used a different charger. It feels like the whole thing got blown out of proportion. I keep replaying it and wondering if I missed a signal or if the reaction was really about something else. It's been tense since, and I'm starting to question whether a small scheduling hiccup should have led to this much friction. Not sure if I'm missing something obvious or if I should just let it go. Would love an outside read on whether I'm underreacting or the response was fair.

I live in a small apartment complex with 28 units. We have a common room downstairs that residents can reserve for birthdays, meetings, whatever. It's nothing fancy. Basically a big room with a sink and some questionable carpeting.

About three years ago I brought in three folding tables and sixteen chairs that had been sitting in my mom's garage.

I asked the property manager at the time if I could store them in the common room so residents could use them. She loved the idea. I still have the email where she says I can keep my tables and chairs there and take them back whenever I want.

People used them all the time. Birthday parties, a retirement dinner, somebody's baby shower, our little building Christmas get-together.

No problems.

Then we got a new management company in August.

They introduced an online reservation system for the common room. Fine. But last month a neighbor mentioned she'd been charged $45 to use the tables and chairs during her daughter's birthday party.

I thought she'd misunderstood something.

Nope.

There's now a $45 "furniture and setup fee" if you want the room furnished. The room itself is free to reserve.

I emailed management explaining that the tables and chairs belong to me, not the building, and that I'd provided them for residents to use without charge.

They replied that the fee covered "equipment availability, setup, and upkeep of shared amenities."

Except residents set up the tables themselves. They fold them back up afterward. Management doesn't do anything with them.

I asked them to remove the fee or let residents borrow the furniture directly without going through the reservation system.

They said they couldn't make exceptions to their amenities policy.

So I told them I'd be collecting my property the following Friday.

They acknowledged the email but didn't actually address the issue.

Friday came, and I took everything back to my garage. It took two trips with my brother's truck.

Now here's where it gets complicated.

Apparently someone had reserved the common room for a kid's birthday party that Sunday. Management had told her the room would have seating for sixteen people.

She showed up and discovered the tables and chairs were gone.

She ended up scrambling to borrow furniture from relatives and renting a few extra chairs. She says it cost her almost $90.

I had no idea there was a reservation that weekend. I would've been happy to let her borrow the furniture for the party if she'd contacted me directly.

But management had apparently sent an email to residents saying that "privately supplied furnishings have been removed by their owner" and that the room would be unfurnished until further notice.

So now everyone knows I'm the owner who removed them.

The woman who had the birthday party was pretty upset with me. She said she understood why I was angry at management but didn't understand why I had to take everything away when other residents were relying on it.

And honestly, that's a fair point.

I could've waited a week. I could've put a notice on the community bulletin board. I could've asked whether there were upcoming reservations.

I didn't think to do any of that because, as far as I was concerned, I was just collecting my own stuff after management refused to stop charging people for it.

Another neighbor said I should have left everything there because at least residents had furniture, even if management was being greedy.

But that makes me feel like I was supposed to keep providing free equipment so a company could make money from it.

I'm not even using the tables now. They're sitting folded up in my garage again, which feels stupid.

I don't want anyone to have to rent chairs for a birthday party. That was literally why I brought the furniture over in the first place.

But I also don't want management collecting $45 every time somebody sits on one of my folding chairs.

Am I wrong for taking everything back when the people who actually got inconvenienced were my neighbors, not the management company?

my roommates wanted to split a big, pricey television for the living room. i already have a monitor that works fine for me and honestly i do not watch much cable or streaming at home. they said splitting three ways would make it cheap for everyone, but i just did not see the point in spending the money. they got annoyed and called me a downer for not joining in. i tried to explain that i do not use the living room tv now and probably would not use the new one either. they still think i am being difficult. am i wrong for not wanting to pay for something i will barely touch?