For those who were diagnosed with ADHD in their early or late 30’s, can you please share what symptoms you had that led to your diagnosis? What was the process like? (ie - did you see a family doctor who referred you to someone?)

I am a 38 year old mom of three and I’ve suspected that I have ADHD for several years now. I simply cannot focus on one thing, I do not retain information well, my memory is shit… I’m becoming awkward in social settings where I completely zone out when people talk to me lol not to mention, I can’t get through a show or a movie without doing something else (like playing a game on my phone to get a dopamine fix)… just all over the place. I’d like to do and be better.

Please share your experience and outcomes.

I have ADHD that was recently diagnosed but has been an issue most of my adult life. I am 29 now and it controls every part of my life. I genuinely am not functioning or able to do the normal everyday things. Especially feeling so overwhelmed each day and eventually just shutting down completely. I NEED and want help so bad. My psychiatrist wants to try Wellbutrin because I also have Major Depressive Disorder. (Also other diagnoses)

Anyone have insight on Wellbutrin with their ADHD and bonus if you also suffer from depression.

I’m currently on Celexa (max dose) and Abilify which does balance my mood pretty well as far as my bipolar 2 and my depression. However my ADHD is still off the wall. Celexa will be stopped in a week and Wellbutrin will be started with the Abilify.

I do know the right med combo is different for everyone, and I may or may not do well on that combo. I just want some insight.

I shut my own thumb in the car door and it immediately hit me that I forgot to take my meds since I can’t even focus on the location of my own hand. I’m debating going to urgent care since it swelled up immediately.

I was recently rediagnosed after going about 13 (tough) years without being on meds and prescribed Adderall XR 15 mg again. My question is, am I able to drink on this at my age (I’m 36)? When I used to be on it I didn’t drink but now I do enjoy and glass of wine or two or a few beers with my husband and neighbors on the weekend. Just wanted to check with others and get their experiences! Thanks!

I just found out what PMDD/PMS is, and I think it might be something that I've had without knowing all my life. My parents always talk about some big shift that happened in me when I was around 12 years old, where I became moody and rude and unreasonable and that I've still somehow never grown out of it. That was also around the time that I first started noticing my misophonia (which has also really interfered with my life and relationships but thats another story). Anyway, I don't really know if PMDD is supposed to start around the age you first get your period, but at least for me the timing does seem to line up.

Also, I'm pretty sure the only times I actually do really get moody and rude with my parents are in my luteal phase. I've always noticed that every time I get in a fight with my parents, I'll get my period 1 week later. Its like clockwork. I've never tracked my period (I know I should) but I honestly used to use that as an indicator that my period would be starting soon. I'd just get irritated, angry, and hateful towards others and myself.

I'm also sure I had other PMDD symptoms like difficulty concentrating, feeling exhausted, lack of interest towards everything, rejection sensitivity, feeling overwhelmed, etc. but these were ALSO all things that I felt constantly anyway because of my ADHD so it was never super noticeable as severely worsening around my luteal phase.

But overall, before I started taking vyvanse, the symptoms were definitely manageable. I'd say they were honestly more like PMS symptoms, which makes me possibly doubt that I would even have PMDD but I'm not sure. Because while my mood/wellbeing might've been worse, it didn't feel debilitating and I could still get along well enough without thinking it was anything particularly different from what other people probably felt around their period.

Around 2ish months ago I got diagnosed with ADHD and started taking vyvanse. It's been really helpful for surviving the university workload (I GENUINELY have no clue how I was able to scrape through without it last year). But, around a week and a half before I got my period, I began to feel the worst I'd ever felt in my life. I felt so annoyed and angry towards everyone around me, while also feeling like they were really annoyed and angry at me. I hated every facet of myself so much. My misophonia also got a lot worse, I genuinely cried multiple times during my lectures because of it. I would also get insane spiralling thoughts and the voice in my head would not SHUT UP no matter how much I tried. AND my meds stopped working so I felt like a useless academic failure once again. Oh and it felt like I was on the verge of tears every second of the day. I could keep it together around other people, but every second I was alone I would cry. It felt like everyone I knew was turning against me but it also felt like it was only because I was pushing them away and I felt so guilty like my prescence was a burden to everyone around me.

I thought this was all just because I was stressed with midterms and wasn't eating enough or something, because vyvanse also had reduced my appetite a fair amount. So I stopped taking it for around a week, got my period, and then started up again and things felt a lot better.

UNTIL the past few days. Its gotten so bad again. And the timing definetely lines up for this to be my luteal phase. Also, my boobs feel sore which is always an indicator if I can't already tell by my mood. Anyway, I think I'm going through it right now so I'm sorry if this has turned into a rant but I don't know what to do. It feels even worse this time. My meds have definetely stopped working I can't get myself to do anything. Like my schoolwork, or chores, or even cooking/eating. And I feel SO tired. I can barely get out of bed let alone do anything during the day. I was walking with my roomate yesterday and I felt like such a zombie, my head felt SO heavy and apparently I was mumbling my words and also I couldn't even walk properly like I was stumbling up the stairs. I like can't keep my head up or look anyone in the eyes.

I don't know if ADHD meds can make PMDD worse, but has anyone else experienced this? And if so, do you have any advice? I really don't know what I am going to do if it will be like this every month. But also, in general I've felt pretty depressed the past few months, ever since the start of this school year. Like I never really feel good anymore, but at most I'll feel just kind of empty instead of like its the end of the world and I just want everything to stop. But, maybe it isn't my ADHD meds making it worse and its just worse because my overall mood is worse? Because a lot of the things I described above, such as feeling like a burden to those around me, and feeling useless, and feeling so lonely have been an ongoing thing but to a lesser extent. Like all my relationships with my friends feel off this year and I have less desire to be around people, but I also miss having friends so its a bit contradictory. I kinda feel like I'm not a person anymore. I think it might be because I'm not eating enough though. I have no idea and I apologize for the length of this message, I guess the only thing I care about is getting some advice because I feel very desperate. Thanks!

I've been out of work for a while and really struggling. My last job I was WFH remote patient support, had a 4-day work week with 10 hour days, and I really flourished with that set up.

I'm living with my mom who is sick and immunocompromised. I would really like to continue with remote work, but I'm finding the area I want (patient/community support) needing in-person.

I don't have a degree because I never finished college due to ADHD struggles and not having enough money to pay for classes. I'm smart and capable, but it's impossible to put that on a resume. I shine connecting with people but I don't want to put my mom at risk and I really like being available at home if something happens.

Does anyone have any leads or suggestions?

I was only diagnosed & medicated before my senior year of HS. The program I did doesn’t allow you to change your subjects after picking them in junior year.

When I got medicated, I had a crazy academic redemption but it was too late to change my subjects. In junior year I was forbidden to take Higher Level biology because my grades were too low so I took standard level.

3-4 Months before exams I realized I wanted to do something in sciences but my subjects didn’t meet the requirements for universities science programs, so I stuck to business.

I went to business school for a year and I hated the studies. I decided to leave to study sciences. I knew I’d have to catch up content to apply to unis for sciences.

Now I’m back with my parents, teaching myself everything I missed and preparing for admissions tests to unis for medicine. The (probably) earliest I would start year 1 would be in September 2027. 2 years after graduation.

I know that if I didn’t get diagnosed, I would be pursuing hospitality (was the best my grades could get me), I would’ve never gotten to go to the uni I went to, where I made incredible memories…

but I can’t help but wonder what my life would be now if I got diagnosed a year earlier. Let alone what it would be if I got diagnosed at 13.

I don’t like “what ifs” but every day I spend here- at home studying by myself with no friends, no nature (live in a desert) no outings… I feel so angry at the thought of being diagnosed earlier.

Especially since I had been urging my parents to get me re-tested (got tested at 8 and they said I didn’t have it) since I was a tween.

I don’t know how to cope with this and accept that what’s done is done. It’s genuinely so frustrating that this could’ve been avoided if I was medicated before.

Just had my yearly physical/bloodwork done and discovered that I am yet again severely iron deficient and anemic. 😭

We suspect the anemia may be a result of my heavier periods and I am working on getting in with an OBGYN to evaluate if an IUD could help.

However I have always been a bit nervous about going on hormonal birth control for a few reasons:
- It was a pain in the ass to find the correct balance of ADHD and anxiety meds for me, and both tend to lose a lot of effectiveness around my period to the extent that I have to adjust dosages for the week leading up to it. I’m scared introducing hormonal BC into the mix will throw things off. It sounds like hormonal IUDs are much more localized and lower dose than the pill though?
- Given I am also already on two other medications, the idea of adding hormones into the mix also makes me nervous. That said I am a hypochondriac and everything I am reading online says that risk factors for stimulants + hormonal IUDs are very low.

All that said though I think it would help to hear others ADHD gals’ experiences! TYIA

Hey y’all. So I was just diagnosed with ADHD after thinking I didn’t have it my whole life. My younger brother was diagnosed as a young kid, and it kind of was the main focus of my childhood and life at home because his school life was so chaotic. I was always very academically focused because I was smart enough to not need to study until college, and I love to learn! So I enjoyed my schoolwork. My parents are pretty unaware of any struggles I had with school in high school with focus, procrastination, and executive dysfunction. I always chalked it up to depression. Long story short, I’ve always been the non-ADHD having sibling in the household who has been academically successful and he’s been the “troublemaker” rebellious child with ADHD, so I am afraid that if I mention this to my parents they will immediately shoot it down.

I don’t think they are aware of how it presents differently in girls. My parents don’t know about any of my struggles with ADHD symptoms my whole life. I mean damn, I didn’t piece it together either! I’ve struggled a lot with mental health and I’m also afraid my mom is going to respond with the sentiment that I’m trying to collect another diagnosis for attention. I’m afraid if I explain my experiences in elementary school and the younger years, my parents will deny it. I’m just worried about bringing it up to them and the conversation being very frustrating. But I would like to talk to them about it! If anybody has any advice or were in a similar situation please let me know.

Hi all!

I'm currently in the process of completing my doctoral dissertation research on women with ADHD and need participants who'd like to contribute by filling out a survey. As a woman with ADHD myself, I'm super interested in the differences between male and female impacts and presentations of ADHD! My current research is examining the role of female sex hormones and their impact on symptom severity and executive dysfunction! For some reason, Reddit won't let me post the survey link here even with mod approval, and I don't know how to share it other than asking if y'all want to participate and access it through my profile (I'm not very Reddit-literate). If you're interested in contributing to the body of research on ADHD in women, you can find the post on my profile with all the info and the link to the survey!

Thanks for reading and bearing with me!

I'm a support worker, and one thing we look at in Positive Behaviour Support is "setting events." Before you look at why someone had a hard moment, you look at what happened earlier that made the moment more likely. Bad sleep, being hungry, pain, a loud chaotic morning, these are all setting events.

I started applying this to myself and it's honestly changed how I talk to myself. The same task can feel easy one day and impossible the next, I used to think that meant I was lazy or inconsistent. Now when I can't start something I check first: have I eaten? Did I sleep? Am I overstimulated? Majority of the time it’s usually one of those and if I work it out fix that first the task becomes easier to start.

It doesn't fix everything, but it's stopped a lot of the "what is wrong with me" spiral.

Does anyone else notice certain things always make their ADHD worse the next few hours? Mine's definitely sleep.

hello people of reddit, I'm really bad at writing stuff like this but i'll try my best. I am 15, recently I've been researching the different signs of adhd and autism because I like to learn new things in my free time and realized a lot of the signs for adhd applied to me, so I went to my parents not too long ago. When I tried to explain to them, and asked to see a therapist, or psychologist, they said that if I did have adhd we'd know already, and proceeded to list the average tv show signs of it.

I believe that I am fairly smart, in school in particular and that I am knowledgeable in many other things, and I easily understand things without needing much attention to them. All my parents really care about is if I get good grades, and don't really care what I learn or how I got them. But in school I have a really low attention span, its incredibly hard for me to sit and read a short text for english class without loosing track of it or forgetting what I'd just read. Even now I am struggling to write this, I just don't know what to do or how to manage it, what should I do.

(edit) I don't know if they will see this but I just wanna thank everyone that has responded you all are so helpful, thank you guys so much🥹

I (42f, diagnosed in late childhood) like to think I’m reasonably competent at adulting for my age. I work full time, pay for everything and usually manage to save quite a bit, due in part to a lucky fixed-rate mortgage deal I managed to secure in late 2022 that meant I’d be paying the same as I was before each month (something I think is relevant to this post). I live alone but I drive, maintain everything at home and can look after myself. All in all, I’d say I’m coping reasonably well.

Anyway, moving onto the incident: I got onto the subject of personal finance with my parents (something they initiated) and when they asked me roughly how much I had in my bank account, my mum did what she always does after asking that question, namely interrogating me as to why it’s in my interest-deprived current account instead of an ISA. I dread this subject of conversation because it always devolves into a heated lecture/pep talk/bollocking about how I’m devaluing my money instead of making the effort to invest it - and ISAs are tax-free so why wouldn’t I leap at the chance to shop around and move my money into one at every opportunity? When I explained to her about the hassle involved in all the tedious paperwork, manual transfers and administrative headaches to which a few percentage points in annual interest paled in comparison, she reacted as if I’d just asked her to help me tie my shoelaces! She was adamant that savvy financial hygiene was the most straightforward, basic task and what did I mean it was too much hassle!?

Seriously, are savings and investment really bog standard life skills and does my executive dysfunction in such an area mean I’m failing as an adult? My parents seem baffled as to why I don’t save and invest with the same zeal as my neurotypical sister (who has a degree in business management, 15+ years’ experience in marketing - mostly managing loyalty schemes - and the sharpest eye for numbers and details I’ve ever seen). To keep my parents happy, I now have to print an ISA reactivation form due to inactivity, which will mean going cap in hand to IT at work, as I haven’t had a working printer since 2007…but since I’m not a billionaire for whom money is no object, why would I not want to, right?

Genuine question. I have ADHD and so do my family members( diagnosed or not!) , i am on meds now but have always been high functioning- and have a lot of behavioural mechanisms.
I just thought everyone forgets and has to plan -write lists etc etc
I honestly can’t think of a single person I know who has absolutely no ADHD traits.

I even tried looking for communities of people without ADHD on Reddit but couldn’t find any lol

So what does being NT or non ADHD actually look like? Do you know anyone who genuinely doesn’t experience any ADHD-related struggles, even mildly?
I know having some traits doesn’t mean someone has ADHD, but I’m curious what that actually looks like in real life. Thank you!

Hi! I’m 28 yo AFAB (cis woman, she/her) living in the Evanston/Chicagoland area. I got diagnosed with ADHD at 15. I’ve struggled finding a therapist since my previous one retired. On Psychology Today, lots of providers say that they have experience with x, y, & z, but when I call to schedule, they tell me they aren’t a good fit for my needs.
I find that therapists are often really dismissive because they perceive me to be articulate, “intelligent”, etc. & they end up paying less attention to how much I express I am struggling. I think I need to work with someone that has experience with patients that present more similarly to the way I do.
Has anyone had success finding a provider that gets it? If so, how’d you find them?
Thanks so much in advance!!

It was an ADHD strategy.

Said they’d learned it from some other context, like maybe occupational therapy or something.

The strategy had four steps I think. It was something like.

1. What am I doing?

2. What is the next step?

3. Attempt next step.

4. What am I doing?

They said it worked because like. The wandering off is built in. Like instead of getting mad at yourself for being off task, you just expect that you can’t stay on task.

Anyone know what I might be talking about?

I was dx’d with ADHD 3 years ago at 32. I have realized recently that I have trouble setting boundaries or expressing displeasure in friendships because I believe I have no leverage and I’ll just be friendless if I cause anyone discomfort. It’s hard not to feel this way because I have lost friends due to ADHD related reasons where I have the hardest time appearing “normal” when I’m struggling the most. Childhood verbal abuse from basically all the adults in my life because I was so messy and “inappropriate” probably plays a role too.

I know if I don’t work on this I’m going to feel sidelined and resentful in my friendships, but it’s very difficult because social isolation is dangerous for me and I fear it a lot. Anyone had success working through something similar? I was in EMDR for awhile but am taking a break because my schedule has become unmanageable.

I'm a counselling psychologist, and I keep hearing the same lines from women diagnosed later in life:

"I was always called careless."

"I'm exhausted from trying to keep up."

"Everyone thinks I've got it together."

A 2014 review (Quinn & Madhoo) found that girls more often have the inattentive type, which is quieter and easier to miss. It often gets read as anxiety, laziness or being "too sensitive".

What were you told before anyone thought of ADHD?

(Not here to diagnose anyone. Only a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist can assess )

I've suspected for the past few years that I have ADHD but now I'm starting to doubt myself again. I've had some of the symptoms in childhood but now I'm starting to feel like social media addiction might be my biggest problem. Lots of people with ADHD talk about feeling guilty and doing things last minute but I don't even experience that. I will procrastinate and not do anything even last minute. Deadlines used to trigger me into working but now I don't care anymore. I don't feel guilty when I waste time but I'm still aware of how much time I'm wasting where I could be doing something productive. Tbh I feel like I'm one of those people that does use "ADHD" as an excuse.

I can't stick to schedules, I'm very forgetful, I'm the biggest procrastinator in the world but these could all just be laziness and social media addiction rather than ADHD. Some people say that they doubted themselves and thought they were just lazy but they still did feel guilt related to procrastination. I do feel that sometimes but most times when I can't motivate myself to do things I just attribute it to ADHD. I feel like I've become very complacent in life.

I'm not in a place where i can seek diagnosis atm and when I was younger my parents didn't even know what ADHD was (nor would they have suspected me because I was an excellent student). How do I know if I actually have ADHD or if I'm really just faking and using it as an excuse to cover up my laziness?

What are some good online prescribers who will actually prescribe you Adderall online in michigan? I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 22 years old and I was medicated until I lost my health insurance and I was 26 years old. Well I'm 34 years old now so I've been going 8 years ( which hasn't been too bad, I've been on Wellbutrin which is helped a little bit) but it's recently been harder to deal with lately. I see a ton of online websites that say they can manage ADHD with medication, I'm just curious to know which one will actually prescribe me Adderall in the state of Michigan as I don't want to pay for it and then find out for some reason I can't prescribe Adderall ( like some say they can only prescribe it in California?) I'm just trying to be efficient I guess!

I understand why because of the high abuse rate but I’m also like… okay but now we are potentially negatively affecting patients.

I’m currently on a generic XR. I just picked up a second job and the duration isn’t long enough to get me through the day. She was saying would could try dosing xr twice a day but she thinks insurance won’t cover it. I said I did some reading and my insurance definitely won’t cover xr twice a day but would probably cover xr plus a ir.

She said this medical practice doesn’t prescribe instant release at all. Our option is up my dose or go back to vyvanse. Vyvanse lasted super long for me which was great but I had more side effects. Adderall I don’t have negative side effects. I feel great but the duration feels so short.

Has anyone run into this? What did you do?

I also love my psych provider. She’s a PA but I feel like she is one of the only providers I’ve had that actually listens to me. And I’ve had a lot of medical issues.

Hello, I'd appreciate any advice or personal input on this

I'm 17F and struggle with

-extreme procrastination

(used to feel motivated by it, but now even waiting until last second doesn't give me enough stress to get all my work done)

-feeling terrible and stressed from task paralysis

-struggle with keeping my room tidy

(I'll get super energetic, plan to clean everything, and then get a complete energy crash and stop in the middle of everything, leaving my room a mess)

-extreme fatigue

(There's so much I want to do but thinking about it just makes me lay there not doing anything but stressing about what I want to do)

-major mood swings

(diagnosed with depression and PMDD too)

-burnout

My brother (26) is diagnosed with ADHD, and he let me try adderall for one day (I know its bad to share medicine).

For once, I felt like the list of things I had to do wasn't as overwhelming but that I could handle each task one by one, and I felt calm, stable energy throughout the day (I have bad caffeine dependence, and have 300mg+ a day to try to force myself to get my homework done).

I also finally brought in a desk into my room that's been sitting outside since May, and I got homework done.

I felt super "normal" for once if that makes sense

After this, my parents were mad because they said it shows I dont have ADHD and Im just lazy without discipline because I was able to be productive and get work done from adderall, but I'm really struggling with organizing my life to where I feel extreme burnout and just complete stress.

Should I try to convince my parents to let me see a doctor, or does my reaction to adderall show that I likely don't have ADHD, because I was able to finally do my work and clean my room only because of the adderall?

Any advice helps, thank you!

I’m not officially diagnosed but I truly think I have it and others have mentioned it as well. I have always struggled with being behind and always being 34 steps behind in academics and certain aspects of life. It always takes me much longer to understand and grasp certain topics than others no matter how simple the concepts are. And it’s really taking a toll on me and ruining my sense of worth. I really do not want be on meds.

I rly like my enthusiasm and energy about some things and I don’t wanna lose that. I love so intensely and I’m so extra about certain things. I understand that it gets a bit much for ppl and I’ve seen it but I don’t want that taken away. I feel my brain running a million miles per hour and I want it to be more simple and just.. less? I question absolutely everything and I always need to ask for help but it always pushes people past the limit where they’re trying not to show they’re annoyed but obviously me being me, it’s obvious. I can pick up on ppls mood SO FREAKING EASILY and it’s hard to look past that.

I like to think I’m smart in certain areas like cleaning, knowing how to love, taking of people, being detail oriented and I’ve been complimented on those aspects but when it comes to deadlines, keeping my word, responsibilities, expectations, controlling my tongue and my anger, lack of patience, I’m so lost and frustrated. This might sound obnoxious but I just wish the world can slow down so I can catch up a bit. Idk what I want out of this exactly but I just felt like it’d be nice to get it out in this community.

When I was 20, I was told I had bipolar disorder or BPD by multiple psychiatrists. I knew this wasn't right though because I didn't relate much to many of the symptoms brought on by them.

Due to this, I went through an entire psychological evaluation in order to reach a diagnosis, but all they said was I have severe social anxiety. They encouraged me to come back and test again a year later because the psychologist thought I may have autism or ADHD but needed further data to verify. I didn't go back because it was $5,000 the first time and I was a broke college kid with marketplace insurance.

Fast forward 10 years later (now), and I know it's ADHD. My family has a history of ADHD and autism (sometimes combined) that I learned since my evaluation. I've been to a few therapists throughout the years and all have encouraged me to seek a diagnosis for ADHD. I have been able to manage most symptoms myself with tips and tricks I've learned from others. But, I still struggle so much and often get depressed about how much effort I have to give to continue living like everyone else.

This has led me to consider medicating myself. I have been a strict no meds person since my 20s because I was put on meds that were meant for a disorder I do not have and it ruined me. But now, I think I need it. I certainly need more help than I can give myself naturally.

So, what do I need to do? Where do I even start?