A couple of years ago, I posted here about my XR Adderall not being evenly filled and that it had been going on for a while. Almost every comment said the same thing: it's someone you live with. A few mentioned an older post where someone's uneven fills turned out to be their spouse.

I denied it. I convinced myself I'd definitely checked the pill fills amounts and count before leaving the pharmacy, because I didn't want it to be true**. I can't share the original post because I deleted it out of frustration**, because obviously everyone was wrong; my husband wouldn't do that...

Shortly after, my fills evened out, but I started running out of my meds before I hit 28 days despite not taking them everyday. My husband convinced me I must be accidentally double dosing. Why would he lie? He had his own script, and was working on getting off stimulants completely because he knew that too high a dose of made him extremely mean.

His behavior kept getting more erratic. Then our son's meds disappeared one day. I was still somewhat in denial, but I wasn't a total idiot. I called my husband out on it, and the next day, my husband's script refill day, the missing Adderall capsules magically reappeared with uneven fills! My husband told me that they must have fallen out of the pill bottle and I didn't see them when I was looking and flipped out on me for accusing him.

When it was my meds, I just didn't want to believe it, but I'd known for awhile what was happening. When it moved to my son's, denial was over. That was the moment I couldn't lie to myself anymore. Cut to now: I'm divorced. I have my kids 90% of the time. he gets every other weekend, which lets me limit his accessibility to our sons meds.

All that to say .. if your fills are off and the people around you are the only ones with access, believe the math before you believe the person. Pill counts don't lie. People do.

It can be so much easier to doubt yourself than to accept someone you love is stealing from you and your kid. That's not stupidity, that's just how much you wanted it not to be true. It took my own kid's medication disappearing before I let myself see it. You're not slow for missing it; you're human for hoping you were wrong.

PS - I'm genuinely so much happier and settling into my new life so well. The end.

unfortunately, due to recent findings, i’ve discovered that taking your meds consistently helps with everything

Ever since I got an iPad I've been taking notes more diligently. I hated taking notes in high school and never enjoyed academics, but in university I started enjoying it a lot more and paying more attention in class. I take cute notes that I enjoy looking at. I was sitting next to a male classmate and he scoffed at my notes, saying "do you even have time to learn when all you do is decorate your notes?".

I'm in the Goodnotes subreddit and whenever someone posts their notes that looks cute or neat, there's always that one guy who's being a hater. This girl posted her neat notes and this guy said "all that for an F". I've really stayed away from general subreddits and only look around women subreddits. Men are so unpleasant.

For as long as I can remember, one of my favorite things in the world is when something happens that causes the routine of everyday life to stop, allowing me to take a guilt-free break from responsibilities et cetera.

Like getting a mild fever/cold, not bad enough to hospitalize you but bad enough that you're bedridden and called out of work/school - literally heaven. Don't care that my throat hurts or my nostrils have been robbed of their outer skin barrier, I'm on the couch watching stupid tv and I have a reason! A great excuse! 10/10. Last winter I was visiting my family in my very stormy country, and had to miss a couple of days of work because of extreme snow. Couldn't go out for groceries but was having the time of my life. Shamefully, the early days of covid fall into this category as well - I even remember feeling disappointed when society got back to normal.

I'm constantly overwhelmed with work, with keeping up with social obligations, staying fit, staying on top of errands etc and while I know (and have felt) my mental health improves when I am able to stay on top of the above mentioned things, a huge part of me constantly longs for a storm, a fever or something else that will give me a legit excuse to lounge around for a few days.

Sigh.

I’ve begrudgingly been keeping an eye on the flood of executive orders from the new administration, and some of the sentiments surrounding ADHD and psychiatric medications in the most recent order “Make America Healthy Again” have me concerned.

Here are a couple excerpts from it that have me concerned:

Referring to the rise of chronic mental and physical ailment diagnoses in the US:

“These health burdens have continued to increase alongside the increased prescription of medication. For example, in the case of Attention Deficit Disorder/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, over 3.4 million children are now on medication for the disorder — up from 3.2 million children in 2019-2020 — and the number of children being diagnosed with the condition continues to rise.”

This section’s mention of “over-reliance on medications and treatments”:

“To fully address the growing health crisis in America, we must re-direct our national focus, in the public and private sectors, toward understanding and drastically lowering chronic disease rates and ending childhood chronic disease. This includes fresh thinking on nutrition, physical activity, healthy lifestyles, over-reliance on medication and treatments…”

In a section outlining actions related to this order:

“(iii) assess the prevalence of and threat posed by the prescription of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, stimulants, and weight-loss drugs;”

I’m not trying to fear monger - but the specific call outs about psychiatric medications, and especially the emphasis on neurodivergence in this order make me extremely uneasy.

I want to say it’s unlikely that we would lose access to medication entirely etc (tho I could totally see this sentiment exacerbating shortages) - but this administration keeps proving me wrong about half the time I think something isn’t possible.

I am also trying to remain hopeful that Big Pharma will rally and lobby against any real actions here, and that balance of power will protect us.

But god, I’m still so scared. I don’t want to lose all the progress I’ve made because of ADHD meds and SSRIs.

PS: Here’s the order if anyone wants to read for themselves. https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/02/establishing-the-presidents-make-america-healthy-again-commission/

Just last week I bought an expensive pair of waterproof winter gloves that turned out to be a kids size. I’ve thrown away countless unopened bags of rotten lettuce. I’ve replaced too many pairs of lost sunglasses. I’ve been charged way too many late fees. I get the ADHD Tax.

But the biggest ADHD “payment” to me seems to be my overall health. Constant anxiety, constant tension. Forgetting to brush my teeth, forgetting to put on sunscreen. Trouble sticking with a fitness routine. Trouble going to bed on time or getting a good night’s sleep. Struggling with mindfulness and intention (hello, fellow inattentives!). Forgetting to eat entire meals or eating too many sweets at once for the dopamine rush.

I have all the best intentions on being a person with healthy habits, but I’m a person who struggles with creating ANY habits at all. I’m in my late thirties and my body is starting to feel achy and tired. It feels so hard to take care of myself. Anyone else relate?

… oh, and we loved every minute of it!

(Also, we did not do it alone - an army of operational, educational, and administrative staff, volunteers, and animal keepers made it all happen.)

Women with ADHD rarely celebrate our successes because we’re too afraid of the next time it all goes wrong. Or we think we have to fly under the radar about it, even when it’s part of what makes us good at what we do.

I hope that all of you are able to find your niche, learn to do it well, and find a way to do it for the betterment of something you really care about.

Because ‘being the people whose job it is to throw parties at the zoo’ is actually a legitimate career option, and you’d probably be great at it.

I've never been able to finish a journal in my life. Actually I've never been able to finish ANYTHING. My dad once said to me "I don't care what it is you do, I just want you to finish something for once". I dropped out of high school, dropped out of every uni course I started despite always having high grades, quit every job after only a few months... and even with things I enjoy, like drawing and writing, I've never been able to FINISH anything.

I was diagnosed with CPTSD and depression at a young age, but I began to suspect ADHD about 6 years ago after seeing a twitter thread about how it presents in women. In late 2022 I was finally diagnosed, and began trialing meds. Eventually I settled on Vyvanse, and a few months later in June 2023 I quit smoking with zero issues, lost 30kg, and cut back significantly in my drinking habits. Suddenly my house is almost always clean, I brush my teeth every day, and I found out that I'm actually a morning person! I always thought I was an inherently lazy and unclean person, and a night owl. But it turns out I actually enjoy cleaning and organising things, and my favourite time of the day is the morning right after waking up when I still have all my energy.

I began my journal also in June 2023, initially as a way to track my habits. It began pretty typically; I was ridiculously excited after watching bullet journal videos on YouTube so I spent like 100 bucks on new craft supplies, and when they arrived I began enthusiastically. But I still assumed I would eventually abandon it, as I've done with every other project that I was initially excited about.

Except this time, I didn't!!! Something happened that's never happened to me before, which is that it became part of a routine!! Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is open my journal. As of today, March 1st 2024, I've completed it and begun a new one, something I've NEVER had to do before. I can't even count the amount of diaries and notebooks I own that only have a few pages at the beginning filled out, if any...

I'm so happy, I don't know what I'd do without this medication. It's saved my life. I try not to think about all the shame and misery that could've been prevented if I'd been correctly diagnosed as a child, but yanno, better late than never. Anyway I just wanted to share this small success with someone! (Disclaimer tho, I know that my situation is one of the best case scenarios and meds don't work for everyone. I trialed ritalin and concerta first and they were AWFUL for me, so yeah)

Also fuck you, dad!!