I am nonbinary and getting bottom surgery next month. Part of the problem is that people don't know what bottom surgery means for a nonbinary person, and most people either don't wanna know or are too scared that asking is offensive, even though I welcomed questions. For me, it's a simple metoidioplasty with mons/labia reduction.

Another problem is that talking about genitals, let alone joking about them, is not in my family's culture. Most of them are Mormon. The only 2 people who asked for clarification on what kind of surgery I'm getting asked if I was getting "man parts" because they're apparently too scared to say PENIS.

But I kinda wish I would get a get-well-soon message with some kind of penis pun, or a congratulations of the new dick. You can be honest and congratulate me on my micropenis, or call it my MASSIVE DONG. Both are equally hilarious to me, so I'm not picky. One of those penis-shaped lollipops would be cute and funny as well.

The last part of the problem is that asking directly for what I want is also not part of my family's culture, so I don't have much practice with it. There are a few people in my life who might humor me with dick humor, but how do I signal to them that this is what I want? Just straight up asking them to send me a gift sounds rude, even if it is just a card.

I just feel like everyone is so serious about my transition, whether they're genuinely supportive allies who are too scared to accidentally overstep or concerned family members who secretly wish I wasn't doing this. I just want to celebrate with laughter. Because going through all this trouble for a micropenis is pretty funny, honestly!

Hi everyone. I'm a t guy. I am 21 years old (soon 22). I just would like to find someone with whom I can have a pleasant conversation and find common topics. I love sports, read books, learn languages and love playing online games. If you want to chat, write to me😊

I’m a male, born male, and I’ve been experiencing strong gender dysphoria since around 20. Over time, these feelings have become persistent. I have a very strong sense of femininity and increasingly imagine myself living and being seen as a woman. Some people I’ve spoken to online have told me that my experiences seem consistent with those of a potential trans woman, although I’m not transitioned and I still look quite masculine on the outside.

I also find myself strongly attracted to the idea of being intimate with a man while experiencing myself as a woman. I crave that kind of connection, but I’ve never actually had sex, so I’m still trying to understand and explore this part of myself.

The reason this particular experience affected me so much is that I feel incredibly alone in this journey. I don't really have anyone in my life who understands or supports this side of me. Most people around me have very different ideas about gender, and I’ve never really had someone I could openly talk to about these feelings.

Then I met someone online who seemed to understand. He was much older than me, and because I was already feeling lonely and vulnerable, I became emotionally invested in the idea that maybe I had finally found someone who could understand me and help me explore my femininity.

At first, his attention felt comforting. I thought I might have found someone who could support me, guide me, and make me feel more comfortable with the feminine side of myself.

But gradually, the interaction became much more focused on sex, dominance, submission and bdsm stuff. That completely changed how I felt.

I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want sex. I do. If I were in a close, loving relationship with someone who genuinely understood me, I would absolutely want intimacy and would be happy to explore that side of myself with him. But sex is not everything I’m looking for.

What I really want is someone who sees the person behind my femininity. Someone who cares about me, accepts the woman I want to become, makes me feel safe, and allows me to explore that side of myself naturally. I want emotional closeness, affection, trust and eventually intimacy, not to feel like I’m simply being used to fulfil someone else’s fantasy.

I think what hurt me most was that I had opened up because I was vulnerable and desperately wanted someone to understand me. Instead, I started feeling as though that vulnerability was becoming the basis for someone else's desires. Whether that was actually his intention or not, that is how the situation made me feel.

I’m still very new to this journey, and I don’t know where it will take me. But I do know that I want to be appreciated as a woman and as a person, not simply as a sexual role, a fantasy, or something someone can shape according to their desires.

Have any of you experienced something similar while exploring your gender or femininity? If so, how did you deal with it, and what helped you?

I’m from India and have found it especially difficult to explore this side of myself openly.

So I wanted to ask: are there people out there who genuinely want to support someone like me through this process,someone who wants to explore femininity, relationships and sexuality, but wants the emotional connection and human side to matter just as much as the sexual side?

I am a person who was assigned male at birth, but deep down, I feel more like a woman.

For most of my life, I have tried to suppress my emotions and feelings. Whether it's because of the fear of society, the fear of being judged, or simply the fear of losing the normal life I currently have, I have always felt the need to hide a part of myself.

The thing is, I understand my own feelings. I have a fairly clear idea of who I am and how feminine I feel. But what I struggle with is finding the right label to describe myself to others, especially within the LGBTQ+ community.

Am I gay? Am I transgender? Am I transfeminine? Am I a cross-dresser? I honestly don't know which term best describes me.

I feel like a woman, but I haven't undergone any hormonal treatment (HRT) or gender-affirming surgery. I don't have long hair, and I usually avoid makeup. It's not necessarily because I don't want these things. It's more complicated than that. Sometimes, I feel I have to avoid expressing myself that way because of the social circumstances I live in.

I know that not having HRT, surgery, long hair, or a traditionally feminine appearance doesn't necessarily define someone's gender identity. But I still find it difficult to explain my identity to other people.

I am not necessarily confused about what I feel. I am confused about what to call it and how to communicate it to the world.

I so desperately wish that I could fast forward through all the awkward body changes and the scary conversations and difficult conversations I have coming up in my life that is honestly a major thing holding me back from truly and diving into transitioning I just wish I could skip to the good parts

so I just stared to date this beautiful girl now I was AFAB but I’m a demiboy and my dad he hates the trans community so that not fun and he has no idea that I’m dating and he’s always talking about how I’ll marry a good Christian boy and I don’t want that now my girlfriend is bi-pan and we have been friends for like a year now but I fell in love with her (I’m ace-pan) and 6 months later she fell in love with me and i love her so much and want to grow old with her but I’m afraid to tell my parents I know there going to say it’s just faze and your grow out of it and I don’t want to hear that I’m done and my mom doesn’t know I’m ace-pan my dad does though but it feels like i have a diamond in my life my girlfriend but still every thing still feels weird senes we just stared to date but ya hope you have an amazing life

There are so many horror stories out there and so many people with questions. I would like to open this thread for everyone to see little things that make you happy. Everyone knows all the major events as you transition i want yall to share little things that make your hear flutter.

For me I am 2months on mtf hrt and outed myself at that time. Everymorning I get coffee at the same shop, I still get a little thrill when I see the lipstick marks on my cup in public. I know its kinda silly but for me I love it.

I'm married and retired, been on HRT for 5 years my wife is accepting to a point. I'm not transitioning at this point as I'm not confident in my appearance and we both have a limited comfort level. It seems now that your medical records are open to all of your doctors and I've found some are less accepting than others. My wife was in the medical profession and knows many of the physicians personally.she never wanted to explain all of this to her former fellow hospital folks, yes they talk and spread gossip quickly. She is not happy explaining all of this and I don't really blame her at all. It just sucks that I don't really have any privacy anymore.

Sure at some point when we are both ready I will transition to full time I just hate to be pressured into doing it.

Soy nuevx en reddit, soy género fluido, lo peor de esto es que por supuesto me da re miedo enfrentarme al mundo y bueno, creé esta cuenta con el objetivo de buscar amigxs virtuales porque de verdad me siento re solx, tengo a mi pareja, a mi mamá y todo pero no es igual que tener amigxs aunque sea virtuales… en fin :). Tuvieran algún consejo para hacer amigxs?

I'm 18, male, happy stable life, happy relationship too, but I've had this persistent feeling for 2.5 years: if I could wake up as a girl tomorrow, I'd take that offer immediately. also known as pressing \\\\\\\*the\\\\\\\* button. it was so intense for the first 5 or 6 or so months, I was convinced I was trans, I used to research stuff, explore my gender etc. and when I imagine being a girl, it's all aspects of being one that give me excitement: the body, the presentation, being seen as a she etc. and when I use she/her pronouns they feel correct (on anonymous accounts). now for the past 2 years it's been more of a quiet thought that comes by sometimes, but it's been more intense lately.

here's the thing though: I like my life as a guy. it's pretty good, I don't mind being a guy, I don't hate it. I don't think I'll transition or anything, both because it's a hassle and it'd give me way more stress than I have now and I am very masculine presenting, hairy, sharp jawline, sharp masculine features etc. my gf doesn't know and I feel guilty for not telling her. I have no idea on what to do next.

And this morning my spiro got stuck in my throat and I gagged. But I won't let that stop me from enjoying the rest of my day! https://i.imgur.com/qMkQOTq.png

For me it's knowing I'll never be "guy skinny" because I wasn't born a man. I'll always have this round face instead of a sharp sunken one. I'll always have these fat thighs instead the skinny stick legs guys have that look like they will break if the wind blows too hard. I'll never get to show off my ribs because right now I have boob and later I will have massive scars. I don't want to be visibly trans. My butt will always be huge and honestly stupid looking even as a woman. If I was born a man I would be slightly taller which would make me look slightly thinner too :(

Hi folks. I'm 21 mtfemme nonbinary and I've been on estrogen for a couple months now. Starting to see/feel physical changes as of recently, and that's exciting, but I struggle to feel empowered by it due to the fact that it is my third time doing it all :(

I originally went on E when I had just turned 18. Went off it due to depression and abusive situation killing my motivation. Second time I started E I was 19, had 8 good months on it, then lost my job and got in a relationship that was kind of hurting me and went off all my prescriptions again. I am so mad at myself for this. Now I'm on it again at 21, and I feel like I should still be happy that I'm on the path again, but it really hurts to think where I would be if I had just loved myself enough to know that I shouldn't stop my HRT, ever.

Has anyone had a similar experience to this? How do you stop cursing what could have been? And if you've now been back on HRT for a while, do you feel that you've caught up, so to speak?

I know I'm still privileged to be on HRT relatively young. I just hate to think of what my bones were doing while I was 20, if they were setting themselves in place, and what I might look like now had I not dropped off. My girlfriend says I used to look more like a girl, and I haven't caught up to where I was

I just kinda want to die about it but I know that's extreme. Thanks for reading, I hope that any of you who have experienced this have found peace and been pleasantly surprised

a common theme with me. i really want to do something. i try a little bit (or even just think about trying or watch a tutorial) i get intensely frustrated shameful and self hating, i stop. i have not meaningfully moved forward in life in so many years. times like 6 if its transition related.

i have no skills in music, makeup, voice training, learning how to dress myself in a way i want, no progress made in looking for a job i actually want never mind something short term, i still have extremely poor social skills. i have been wasting my life. the only thing holding me together is not doing these things because when i try it reveals how badly im failing at doing much of anything and all the bad feelings come out. i have absolutely no idea how to get over this. i said i wouldn’t just complain about things and id add more points to what im talking about like what do i think i should do about it but therapy is not an option. this is so serious and i dont know what to do

i feel like i need the realisation of how little i have moved, to stop trying to look for positives and address my problems. but then i simply can’t function at all day to day

i want to pass way better than i do currently. i don’t let myself think about that because it’s too painful to dream of how i could be if i could get over myself and do the work. i want to be semi functional at makeup more than just eyeliner but every time i have makeup on more than my eyes i think i look fucking disgusting

added context i have adhd and medication is not currently possible

aoc: "i support trans rights 'cause i'm a girls' girl"

someone: "ok so you're not for trans men?"

can this stop? i really doubt that if aoc was elected president she'd issue an executive order prohibiting us specifically from life, liberty, testosterone, and the pursuit of happiness.

How the heck do you find out if a business is actually trans-friendly and not just what cis people deem "friendly"?

Boundaries are different when you’re the one who has to face the hostility so someone cis could turn around and say a place is friendly because it's not outwardly hostile but then you show up and have a terrible time.

Like last time I got my hair cut there wasn't a deliberate botched job but the hairdresser was incredibly rude. Loudly misgendering me every few minutes to draw attention to me amongst other things.

Like I know I'm not passable but I was presenting as very femme and HRT has blessed me with an incredibly large chest. So it was defo on purpose, especially given her tone.

Having a pride flag in the window doesn't automatically make a place friendly, for instance. Especially in the UK where many people are okay with cis LGB people but end up being very transphobic.

We are dubbed "Terf Island" for a reason.

Unfortunately there's a fair few things where I can't rely on word of mouth either. Mainly because the local trans community is unaware of some stuff. Even asking on reddit sometimes you get nothing at all.

I'm in a position where I need to access a particular service but no local trans people are aware themselves of a friendly version of said service.

Unfortunately this is also not a case where I can "bite the bullet" and gamble on whether or not a place is transphobic or not because it's within an industry where I've come across many bigots and also, I'd be putting myself in a somewhat vulnerable position and being at the mercy of someone who hates us would leave me in a very bad state.

In the past, I've spoken to business directly, asked if they'd be okay with a trans client and then still had an incredibly bad time.

With hairdressers for instance, I've dealt with deliberate botched jobs many times over the years ("You look like a boy, therefore you get boy's hair") and even when asking queer events, I've ended up being hounded by a transphobe while the organisers have said "Well that's a difference of opinion and you need to respect it." or "If you don't feel safe, feel free to leave." when dealing with actual abuse.

So.

Can't rely on word of mouth because the community is too small

Can't take a business at their word

How else can you pin down if a place is actually friendly?

The queer orgs based in my part of the UK do not have a directory of places to signpost either so they're useless for this kinda thing.

The likes of online directories such as Strands for Trans do not list anything in my region for the likes of hair and beauty services, for example.

I’m 19 and transfeminine, and at this point I genuinely don’t think I’m even capable of making a single friend irl, let alone finding love. All I can seem to do is cry while watching other people live out the experiences I so desperately crave.

Whether it’s seeing literally any friend group or couple walking around college, hearing yet another story about someone younger than me already dating and experiencing happiness, or seeing T4T couples who are so comfortable and happy together. It all just fucking hurts.

I’m too goddamn introverted, and I feel so worthless as a whole that I can’t imagine having anything meaningful to offer another person. Every attempt I make to connect with someone seems to lead nowhere eventually. No matter how hopeful I get, something always manages to turn to shit, and suddenly I’m right back at square one.

The last time I had anything resembling a friend was almost four years ago, and even that was more of a “we talk during class every now and then” kind of friendship. I feel like I’m slowly degrading socially, to the point where I genuinely can’t imagine ever getting anywhere. And I’m so fucking tired of it.

On top of that, I’m closeted and living with family who pretty much don’t want me transitioning or doing anything related to it. I have little hope of being able to start estrogen anytime soon. My family is also the reason I feel obligated to stay alive, even when I don’t particularly want to.

So my life has basically become the same miserable cycle: I wake up with some delusional sense of hope, go to college, get absolutely flashbanged by seeing people my age enjoying friendships and relationships as I walk from class to class, and gradually feel more and more meaningless. By the end of the day, I feel like a fucking disgrace, miserably walking back to my car to drive home, probably passing yet another happy couple along the way.

It’s gotten to the point where I was turning a corner one day and saw a couple holding hands, talking so cutely to each other, and I just immediately started punching a brick wall until my knuckles bled. And it actually felt good in that moment.

I’m not a masochist, and I don’t usually self-harm. I’ve never been able to bring myself to use a blade on myself either. But that feeling of pain, that sudden release of everything I’d been bottling up, made me feel SOMETHING for once. Almost like I was finally getting a tiny fraction of what I deserve.

And then tonight, I was just trying to find some content to get off to when I came across this adorable T4T couple posting videos of themselves being affectionate, enjoying each other’s company, and genuinely loving each other in all these different places.

And just like that, I wasn’t even remotely turned on anymore. I just started crying.

Not because I resent them or think they shouldn’t be happy. I just want something like that so fucking badly, and seeing how happy and comfortable they are together just reminds me of how painfully far away that feels for me (or rather unreachable).

So now here I am, crying and whining like a little BITCH to a bunch of strangers on Reddit who can’t magically solve my problems, instead of actually talking to a therapist.

Maybe my expectations are completely over the top. Maybe I’m romanticizing relationships and friendships because I’ve been deprived of meaningful social interaction for so many years. Maybe that’s just what happens when you’re a lonely moron who has no idea how to connect with people anymore. I don’t fucking know.

I just want to experience some of the happiness and connection that everyone around me seems to have. I want friends. I want to love someone and be loved back. I want to feel like I’m actually living my life instead of watching everyone else live theirs.

And I’m so fucking tired of feeling like none of that will ever happen for me.

The past 2 weeks I've been extremely triggered, depressed, dysphoric. I've been crying, self harming, had very little interest in doing things. I just not doing well yall

I am at the beginning of my hormonal transition but I am already an androgynous person with a fem appearance, and I started using Grindr because I wanted to find people to have sex with, and also because I wanted validation in a way, and I ended up getting it due to the amount of messages I received.

However, I couldn't find a person who was decent or reciprocal... Everyone treated me as if I were at their service without me really existing as a person, and mind you, I spent weeks interacting.

I always knew about the world of chasers but this was my first time having direct contact, and I ended up getting scared right away.

Anyway, I'm going to bring this topic to my trans therapist, but I also want to hear your experiences.

I have received so many DMs on my local social media, from people who claim to be trans women, but show exactly 0 understanding of what it means to be trans, and using extremely outdated and stereotypical terminology about us, and flat out ask for my breast size or vagina pictures within the first five sentences.

Is it so common among older trans women or are they just male larpers? The volume of these types of messages have jumped up so fast since I had bottom surgery. Are there so many chasers specifically chasing post-op trans women?

So i know this is gonna sound wierd, but does anyone ever wish they could feel comfortable as their assigned gender? Like I'm afab and sometimes i wish i felt comfortable as a girl. I wish i could put on a tight t-shirt or a dress and feel comfortable. Does anyone else experience this or is it just me?

I'm preparing for bottom surgery and just found out that Addadictomy (add a dick to me) was coined by Rush Limbaugh. Damn. It's like JK Rowling coming up with "penised individual." That was funny as fuck, but I feel like I can't use it because of who said it first.

Hi Everyone

Have a question for any women out there any orientation. Will you accept a husband or partner who has an alter ego where they explore their femininity and do makeup and live like a woman behind closed doors ? Basically be a normal appearing couple for family and friends but between them they are just two women ( doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship and can be a lavender marriage too)