I've got a group of friends that I've known for a few months now with the exception of one of them who I've known for about a year and a half. The one I've known for a year and a half is a coworker of mine, and he's made his opinions of trans people abundantly clear with such comments as "trans people are batshit crazy" and "I can always tell when someone is trans". I've strongly pushed back on his transphobic opinions over time. Because of that as well as times when trans topics have come up amongst our friends and I've had a lot to say about it, as well as me being vague about medication I take and a surgery I'm getting next year, my friends have come to the conclusion that I am trans.

I've recently learned this, and that my coworker friend feels bad for transphobic comments he's made around me and to his credit is worried about learning to use male pronouns and being respectful about it. My friends are expecting I'll come out as trans to them sometime and that when I come back from my surgery later this year I'll be a different person and that it will take them some time to adjust to me being a man.

Except, they're wrong.

I am trans, but I'm not going to transition from female to male. I've already transitioned from male to female and I just pass so well that despite them figuring out that I'm trans, they hadn't even considered the possibility that I wasn't born female. I learned of this because I told one of those friends about my transition which is when he informed about my other friends being convinced that I will be transitioning ftm and it had me dying laughing.

We were discussing meeting each other's parents and the anxiety of it. She's nervous because she's also going to be coming out as a lesbian soon. I said I was really nervous about meeting her parents because not only is she bringing a woman home, she's bringing a trans woman home. She just kind of gave me a blank stare for a minute then goes "Oh right! Yeah I keep forgetting that."

You guys, she's the one.

I've noticed a lot of self-hatred in some trans men - especially young ones. I just want to assure you that you're not a monster. You're not going to suddenly turn into an abuser or a predator simply because you're living as your authentic male self.

None of those things are intrinsic to masculinity. It's okay to be a guy and it's okay to like being masculine.

-sincerely, your older trans sister who is worried about you.

So, you know how letting a 16YO, who really wants hormones, and has psychologists backing them up, is considered "controversial", because they're "too young" to make such irreversible decisions to their body?

Well, what if that 16YO was only 12? And they didn't want hormones, in fact, they explicitly said they don't want them? But you FORCED them to go on hrt? That'd be child abuse, right?

Well, that's the case of natural puberty. It's considered perfectly okay to force some poor trans kid to go through irreversible, emotionally traumatic physical changes, just because it's natural (bitch, cancer is natural).

And now it's actually illegal in the UK to not do that.

SMH>

So, I have breastforms, right? Today, I forgot to put them in. Like I've forgotten my lunch or my water bottle before, but I am just astonished at myself right now. I mean, nobody's going to notice because I'm wearing a big sweater, but still. Anyway, I wanted to share this because this sub is really heavy a lot of the time and I wanted to share something that might be a little lighthearted and funny. Anyway, I hope anyone reading this has a nice day!

Kids.
Kids.
If you tell me your preferred name and pronouns I'm going to use the hell out of them.
If you say "don't use them in front of my parents." I won't.
If you're attending class online, I'm going to read the name off the attendance slip because you said "Don't use them in front of my parents." and your fucking camera is off so I'd rather make you upset for now than out you in front of your family.

That is all. Study for your damned test, you wonderful little shits.
Sincerely, the 'normally really supportive but sometimes is a dick' teacher you don't know is trans.

As a trans-woman who knew she was a girl from a young age, I look back and realize how fucked up I had it, just because the doctor saw my genitals and said "BOY". I did a little digging and it turns out a lot of trans girls and AMAB enbies have similar experiences.

Examples I can think of:

• My emotional and sometimes physical pain was shrugged off/even mocked and laughed at in the name of "manning up" and "come on, don't be such a girl".

• When I wore my sister's dress once, I was spanked and reprimanded badly.

• Medical problems and Eating Disorders in my teen years were not taken seriously because even though I was out, I was seen as 'a boy who is skinny' as opposed to a trans-girl with a legit unhealthy obsession with my weight.

• My parents actively ignored my cries for help (ages 13-16) when I was severely depressed and dysphoric. My Mom threw a TV remote at me and said she was "done with my shit" and yet, when my sisters had the slightest problem in life, they were taken seriously.

• When I came out as trans, they were all SO surprised and my Mom said "I wish it was YOU who died instead of your Dad". (My Dad had died recently back then).

• They made such a massive deal over my pronouns and deliberately deadnamed me.

• I wasn't allowed to hang out with my sisters at their birthday parties because they were 'girly things that I wouldn't understand'.

ugh, fuck man...

Why is the fact they are transgender related to ANYTHING.

I saw a headline and it was like "transgender woman™ harasses person"

I said they would never put "white man harasses person"

If the fact they were transgender was relevant to the crime then fair enough but 9/10 it's not. In this case it was not. A non-transgender person could have done the same thing and they wouldn't have put "cis woman harasses person". In fact the only reason it was a story is BECAUSE they were transgender. Harassment happens constantly and you don't hear about every instance of it in the news.

It's like they are just waiting for a trans person to commit a crime so they can be like. "Oh yeah, see there we told you the transes were bad".

The media loves to stir the pot. Like they think we are solely responsible for the acts of one bad trans person.

Any chance they will get to paint trans people in a bad light they will do it. They are just fuelling violence towards trans people and discrimination cos you look at the comments and there all like "typical transgender. Oh what a peaceful community." etc. etc.

It was the same when reddit hired a pedo and everyone went on strike. The FIRST thing all of the headlines mentioned is that she was transgender. Like they just want to go. Look at these transgenders. Pedophiles.

Every cis person doesn't have to be held accountable each time an individual cis person does something bad. We just accept that bad people exist in every identity. Why do trans people have to always have to answer for the small amount of crazies.

So I’m an ftm guy. I came out publicly 8 months ago and started t a little over three months ago. I’m an overweight guy, and have two daughters that I gave birth to... so a lot of my features are very curvy and even though I pass almost all the time I’m still insecure because I feel like I’m not built very masculinely.

Due to this I’m always looking for other chubby dudes with similar body types (thicker thighs, butts, not just guys with beer guys) Seeing chubbier guys with similar features is super affirming for me...

anyway the other day my husbands motorcycle broke down and we took it into the shop to drop it off. I was sitting outside on a bench eating a snack while he talked to the guy inside the harley shop... and I see this super handsome chubby dude in skinny jeans (something I avoid because I feel like I would look too femme in them for my own comfort) Dude is in a cutoff shirt, vans, and these really good looking skinny jeans... and he had a pretty nice lookin beard coming in...

He walks into the shop... and comes out with his keys a few minutes later. As I make eye contact with him I do that ftm thing where I pull my shirt away from my binder so it isn’t clinging anymore... and then...

he smiles the biggest smile at me and pulls his shirt in the exact same way (I could clearly see his binder near his armpit when he did this) and gives me the head nod all while smiling this fat smile at me... and then he got on his bike and rode off...

It made my day!!!!!

I am really tired and Mad of seeing people declare they wouldn't date trans people, especially in unrelated conversations. Sorry for the caps, just need to vent a bit.

Edit: To make some clarifications on some themes I'm seeing the comments I would like to add a few things.

1. this post was directly inspired by multiple comments over time declaring they'd never date a trans person.

2. some people are disputing my first statement by saying some people can have genital preferences. in response to that:

2a: It is transphobic to not want to date trans people in general because that is stereotyping and assuming you will be able to know a trans person from how they look.

2b: A lot of people are saying it isn't transphobic to not want to date trans people because of "genital preference". Other than what I just said above as to how you can't assume, I personally feel like most of the time I see it, it's mostly transphobes justifying it to the outside world. I don't have much proof for that but it is how I feel about it. One example i saw recently was a comment said they wouldn't date a trans person and then another commenter jumped in and said "it was just a genital preference" and that is the general feeling I get from that. 

3.I saw one person mention that that transphobia might not be the best word because phobia means fear, so I would like to correct that and stay that according to Merriam Webster dictionary it also means "intolerance or aversion for." So putting phobia at the ends of terms to imply prejudice is an accurate practice.

4. Thanks for all the awards!

It’s literally the exact. same. arguments. It’s just rebranded to fit transphobia better. If we were able to get gay rights, we will be able to get trans rights! <3

For context, I'm MTF 8 months on HRT with no surgeries.

I was at my retail job this evening and a lady approached me asking where the pads were. I showed her and she took a moment looking them over then complained that we didn't carry the ones she was looking for. She then FUCKING ASKED ME IF I HAD USED ANY OF THE ONES WE HAD AVAILABLE. I was flabbergasted and just lied, "Oh.. those kotex are pretty good."

I have no idea if what I told her was true or not. I've been so giddy ever since. I never really know if I pass or if people are just being nice but holy shit she actually thought I was a cis woman!

My family and I have kind of agreed that I'm only okay with being deadnamed if we're in front of elderly relatives (bc honestly it's far too much of a hassle to try and explain this to them).

So for easter we started having guests come over, and of course when my great-grandmother arrived we just had to deadname again and I was in a moment like "aight it's just one day I'll bear through it"

Until my sister and her boyfriend come over. And her boyfriend, total chad moment, still uses my real name and even after I try to tell him that he can't, he literally just tells me "Don't worry she won't even notice"

… and turns out yeah, my great grandmother didn't notice at all. Eventually every other family member just went right back to using my chosen name like nothing happened and honestly it was great.

I joined my neighborhood's FB group a few days ago and the admin publicly posted, asking me to introduce myself.

I wrote a little blurb about myself and ended it with my preferred name and pronouns (not fully out on FB yet so my name isn't changed :/ )

One of the neighbors introduced himself, then ended his post with "he/his, and because I grew up in the south, y'all"

I found it genuinely hilarious and inoffensive and I'm glad I joined the group :)

Any one else hate this rhetoric? Like fuck you I'll be what ever the fuck I wanna be!

(Heavy TW Below)

Basically, when I came out earlier in my life just as a bisexual cis male I was really testing the waters for how my coming out as trans could be taken and get a taste for it.

My older brother almost murdered me by hanging me off a roof in NYC.

Stay in the closet till I feel like I'm going to kill myself if I hold it back anymore two years later.

Finally come out, am met with only positivity and accepting congrats by everyone. But I start losing people, so I get scared, people I've known for over a decade tell me I'm just going to be fat and miserable, how that super horrible clearly transphobic thing my girlfriend said about you wasnt transphobic at all, don't be upset of course they still love you even if they think people like you are fucking weird.

I'm obviously feeling frantic and terrified as the last time I came out I was almost murdered so it feels like I can't even trust almost anyone.

People I've known ever since I was a child, who were more family to me than any of my blood relatives all sat as I grappled with the emotions of coming out, having my trauma obviously be triggered over and over again regarding my identity, judge me for how I was in that one month dealing with it all, WATCH ME ATTEMPT SUICIDE AND AFTER WARDS TELL ME THEY ALL LAUGHED AT ME AND BELITTLED ME BEHIND MY BACK FOR MY SUICIDE ATTEMPT, and then turn their backs on me forever like they just didn't very fucking obviously try to get rid of their trans friend with no regards to her safety. All of that, every goddamn second of it was just being dehumanized, judged and belittled by people who will never have to go through what I have and then left to rot as if they never knew me at all. And I get to be the one left feeling ashamed, alone, and terrified. And they get to act like what they just did to me isn't evil, bigoted, and hateful.

People like me end up a statistic. There are thousands of us all with stories like this, and so many more that are much worse than what I've been through.

People judge us, they act like we are the dangerous ones, the sick scary depraved ones. If only they could see what it looks like from my perspective.

In my experience so far, cis people have tried to murder me, they have raped me, they have judged me and they have abandoned me. And I still do not hate all cis people, because hate is a fucking choice and I refuse to hate anyone based on something they can't control.

My name is Audrey, I'm trans, and I'm not going to let any of this ever kill me. Give a shit about your trans friends and be better.

i'm a trans woman, and in the last couple of months i've started to get properly gendered on the phone. sometimes though, with how much talking i do at my job, the act of constantly raising my larynx tires it out. this was the case last night, so when i came home i decided i'd just give it a rest and just talk in my pretransition voice.

and boy it was hard. it's become so ingrained in my vocal muscle memory to raise my larynx that i couldn't get my voice to sound convincingly and consistently AMAB for more than second, and then the next time i talked, woops! trans girl voice.

but yeah it's kinda neat.

edit: wonky sentence

Last week I [MtF] started volunteering at a refuge for abandoned dogs. All the people who work there have been 100% supportive and it's been really great. The thing is, there is this one dog that's infamous because he likes being around women but he gets difficult to deal with around men. He's even gotten to the point of biting someone. Last week he wasn't around because he was in another location while the place where he sleeps was disinfected, so I didn't have the chance to meet him. We have shifts to be with each dog, cleaning and feeding them besides playing with the ones that are not hurt or have just had a surgery. Today it was my turn to be with this particular dog, he's called Salvador. Nobody bat and eye about me being with him, which gave me confidence to meet him, and as soon as he does he gets all playful and starts laying with his belly towards me for me to pet him. I've never felt that level of validation before. I mean talk all you want about euphoria from interactions with other people, but Salvador just made my whole weekend <3

lots of trans men wear patterned button-up shirts to hide our tits

lots of old men wear button-up shirts

old men generally got some tiddie

i have transitioned from a 20-something gal into an old man.

i am changing my name to weatherby.

Some TERFs bridged my post and one of them thought I was secretly amab because I play warhammer and watch porn.

Hey. I'm the eighteen year old enby whose getting a hysterectomy, and my post was recently bridged by terfs on some weird website.

And no joke, some one of the comments on their website was legit convinced I was secretly an amab trying to pose as a lesbian because I had posts and comments on lesbian porn and warhammer 40k subs of all things.

Yes. You heard that. Warhammer 40k subs.

Someone legit doubted I was afab because I'm a 40k fan. And these are people who pretend to be agaisnt gender roles.

Officially came out to my girlfriend who already knew today. Had my first real appointment and will be starting hormones soon. She got mad that I hid the fact that I made an appointment with the psychologist from her. I tried to explain that it was a difficult decision to make and I needed to do it for myself and by myself but that made no difference. Since then she has brought up everything I've done wrong over our 9 year relationship and broken up with me. Most of the things I've done 'wrong' adhere to gender norms of my agab like not sticking up for her when I am a very non- confrontationial person. I thought this would be the easiest person to come out to but apparently I was wrong and now I'm single I suppose. I've got a headache and I'm tired but I feel relieved still somehow

And anyways prior to finding out she was interested in calling me prettt and attractive and sweet and adorable and all things nice and everyone else thought she was into me also which I did actually go and stay the night with her a few months ago and she was like oh we can share the bed so I thought at least it may have been going somewhere

So I’m at her house and we are sitting awful close on the couch and I was like oh hey I’m trans (cuz like if anything were to have happened I would have wanted to disclose just my personal choice) and then she said oh I’m so happy for you I didn’t know I don’t judge 🙄and then was like super distant and weird to me. I ended up sleeping in another room and I guess she made the decision to just be friends

Fast forward a month and she’s like not talking to me and coming up with reasons to not hang out and she’s hanging out with other friends and tbh it just hurt my feelings. I just feel like something is wrong with me or something. Sorry for the vent/sob story

When I first heard about this, I was absolutely horrified. This bill will kill kids. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, it will directedly cause death or at least serious harm of many, many teenagers.

FFS, everyone knows that you never out someone against their will, especially a minor. Here’s what can happen, from best to worst case scenario:

• The parents aren’t transphobic, but being outed is still extremely stressful for the kid.

• The parents refuse to use the kids correct name and pronouns, causing their mental health to worsen, potentially leading to suicide (this is NOT a hyperbole, suicide attempts are four times more common in transgender people who aren’t accepted by their immediate family than in transgender people who are)

• The parents force the kid completely back into the closet, causing similar mental health risks, but worse, as their one space where they were safe to be themselves (with their friends) is taken away.

• The parents force the kid completely back into the closet, and take away their access to technology/the internet. This creates a sense of isolation and hopelessness, creating a festering ground for suicidal ideation (and if the kid does develop suicidal thoughts because of this, they don’t even have access to call a suicide hotline). By this point, the parents are well into “child abuse” territory.

• The parents send the kid to a conversion therapy. The kid is subjected to extreme emotional abuse, complete isolation from the outside world, and even physical or sexual abuse. (But, you might ask, surely conversion therapy is illegal, at least for minors? Well, not in NC isn’t)

• The parents kick the kid out of the house, letting them live on the streets. This is bad for all the obvious reasons

• The parents beat up the kid and then kick them out, send them to conversion therapy, or prevent them from accessing technology.

• The kid is murdered (it’s rare, but it does happen)

Outing puts the kid at risk of any of those things happening. Read that again. Outing a child can directly lead to them being beaten up, becoming homeless, committing suicide, or even being murdered. And the chance that at least one of those things happens isn’t even that low.

Even one child dies because they were outed due to this bill, I want everyone who voted for it to be tried for murder. Even one child is sent to made homeless, isolated from the outside world, or beaten up because they were outed due to this bill, I want everyone who voted for it to be tried for child abuse. If the beating leads to them needing medical treatment, I want everyone who voted for this bill to be tried for GBH.

Just because they weren’t the ones doing the murdering, beating, or kicking out, doesn’t mean they didn’t play a part in causing it to happen, and they need to be held accountable for every child they harm.

If anything, it should be illegal to out someone, not to not to.