My mom is right I'm not trans I've never been trans I've never been dysphoric or had feelings about not being in the wrong body or have the wrong body parts. Like she pointed out If I was really trans I would have come out as so while in high school and not at 27 because no one becomes or comes our as trans at my age or older. And that I do way to many masculine things to be trans. Even though if been "misgendered" as a girl from teachers. Even though I've suppressed all my feelings of dysphoria and never told anyone. She's right and I believe her. Im wrong and i was to stubborn to admit that. So I'm no longer trans.

I took 2mg of estradiol for the first time about 8 hours ago, and I am so low on energy. My arm muscles are so sore; it's an extraordinary effort to lift things. I feel overall achey, and I have a terrible headache.

I also got Flu and COVID shots yesterday and have eaten like shit today, but surely it's the estradiol taking its effect.

I understand how bad this question looks, but i ask it while understanding that queer bipoc folk want a safe space to have community.

I ask, because i feel like a lot of bipoc community is already pretty darn good at community i feel. Meanwhile queer folks raised by white parents tend to be traumatized by a lot of individualism related abuse and frankly suck at community.

I guess, this is like a cry for help, on behalf of white queers to create more inclusive community and to put more work into ant-racism within their communities, so maybe we can learn from bipoc folks and have queer community, instead of bipoc queer community and white queer isolation and cliques.

Thoughts?

(For context: i live in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, in the, neglected and car-brained, inner city)

If they fell into the arms of TERFS and spent years working with actual nazis to wipe us all out, why should I forgive them? They can come back and say they were wrong, that they acknowledge that they were used and they hurt people, but it won't bring back all the souls lost, all the trans people killed by the rhetoric they helped fuel.

I don't want the reasoning to be "do it or they'll go back to being a nazi" because that's just a threat. I want to be angry with them, I want to yell and hate them for the damage they caused, for how stupid and irresponsible they were. But other commenters forgive them instantly, shower them with love and acceptance and I don't get how that level of "it's okay that you possibly helped murder a bunch of us" could easily come to anyone, let alone me.

Edit: I think i should say that while the title kinda makes it look like that i am NOT defending the game in any way, i just came here to learn!

Hey! I recently made a comment saying that while i think boycotting the wizard game is good, we shouldn't really jump on people who have bought it, because they probably just want to play the game. This got a lot of downvotes. I am very much still figuring out who i am, and this kinda hurts. if anyone could sum up why this view could be considered transphobic, without just downvoting me into oblivion, and explain just how influential jk rowling is, that would be great, because i'd just like to learn. Is this just another instance of online toxicity, or am i genuinely wrong? Any criticism that isn't just a silent downvote would be appreciated!

Edit: thank you for all the replies, i feel i have learnt something new!

I experience gender envy for a celebrity, but she is latina and I am white

Childhood trauma caused me to develop dissociation. For a long time I sought to "separate myself from the old name and the old life".

I have always hated my old name and wanted to change to an androgynous one for non-gender reasons because I just don't want to be associated with that awkward bullied kid in primary and high school. Emmm, maybe the desire to change name started as long as I could remember even before the trauma, but anyways...

Guess what? I succeeded and built a new personality over the post-trauma years (ages 17~21) but the new self turned out to be a woman...

In my case the dissociation (first sign at age 7 ish and easing at 22 with HRT) started earlier than gender dysphoria (first sign at 17 and intensification at 21)...

Is it a case of the so-called "secondary transsexualism" aka transness due to external factors?

Here it is. It's for trans people who'll never be able to transition and only feel endless pain with no joy who aren't welcome in most trans communities: https://www.reddit.com/r/transnegativity/

It's not the healthiest thing to be so caught up on. I know that everyone has their own problems, and that someone who's starving would find my struggles over my transition to be a laughably first-world problem. I know that, but it still hurts and angers me so much whenever any cis woman complains about their appearance or weight or whatever. Has anyone been able to figure out how to deal with this anger in a healthy way?

Edit: Didn't know that trying to work on my issues - which, btw, I've never used as an excuse to lash out at anyone IRL, it's just something that I struggle with internally - deserves downvotes.

Edit 2: I do have a therapist I can contact. I'm more curious about what strategies people have for this sort of issues other than just telling me to go to therapy and calling it done.

Characteristics of RIGD:

(1) A long history of repressed dysphoria that manifested as dissociation, depression, depersonalization, gender envy, obsession with gender bender fictions, etc.

(2) A relatively late (late adolescence to early adulthood) age of egg cracking and relatively suddenly realising the possibility one might be trans.

(3) A fast (<6 months) process between first cracking one's egg and starting transition in earnest.

(4) Rapid (<6 months) intensification of gender dysphoria from non-existent/repressed to severe, leading to seeking medical transition in the absence/near-absence of real-life experience. Social transition concurrent with (in my case), or after hormonal transition, as opposed to the "RLE before HRT" model.

(5) Every step of social transitioning tends to induce gender euphoria, and then worsens body dysphoria by highlighting the mismatch between soul and body. An exponential-like "explosion“ of the transitioning process, often well after puberty, instead of the traditional "slow" model of "childhood-puberty-adolescence-adulthood" realization and intensification.

Everyone else that I know have a long history of childhood~ealy puberty dysphoria that gradually intensified through their course of life, and a well-thought out, rational transition plan.

However, my transition is less rational and more driven by irrational despair as the dysphoria went from nothing to really severe in a mere 6 months. I can't ever get off estrogen. I can't wait for estrogen's effects to show up. I had almost zero dysphoria (repressed) at this time last year but right now my dysphoria is so bad and classical that it fits the most classical transmedicalist gatekeeping perspective (if they don't look back at childhood).

In a summary table:

Is "RIGD" a real thing?

Are trans people with RIGD more likely to regret, or detransition?

Should trans people with RIGD have access to informed consent trans healthcare, or should they be put on a 6-month or 12-month waiting list for further observation? (for me, if I were forced to wait these long months I'll just go DIY)

If I have RIGD, should I indeed slow down and force myself through more RLE before continuing my hormones? (BTW stopping hormones would be torture for me)

Are people with RIGD "not really trans" or "just irrationally transitioning", or is the rapid intensification of dysphoria a result of suddenly easing a long time of repression?

So. I paint for work. I also make drawings. Abstract ones with some resemblance to human figures. So this recently happened to me.

I was showing some of my work to a cis female friend of mine (a more distant one I would say), and among one of them was a painting that was pretty gloomy, about feeling isolated and unloved at one point in my life. To me, it shows a person holding a remotely heart-shaped hole in their hands around which there was this corona of darkness, sadness if you will. It is pretty profound and meaningful to me because it depicts a moment in time when I was very isolated (also as it relates to my coming out as trans) and felt heartbroken about it to the point of feeling physical pain over it in my chest.

Guess what said friend had to comment about it?

"It looks like a vulva, that there part [she points at the heart in the middle of the image] like a giant clitoris".

I swear to dog, that image had NO resemblance to a vulva and this reading was about as far from what it was about as was humanely possible. It felt like it turned my entire concept on it's head and made it about one of the things I was feeling shitty about back then, rather than my actual experience, i.e. repeating the exact thing that had made me so depressed back then.

Everyone can have their own reading of art, sure, but I am frustrated as all hell with the constant misreading of art as something pseudo-freudian. Why does every weird shape have to be about their own private parts with cis dyadic people? Is this all their imagination is capable of coming up with? I don't fucking know, but it gets on my nerves.

And if I have to see one more cisnormative artwork (eg. standard depiction of cisnormative private parts entitled something or other "female"/"male", ugh hjsdfbjsdghf) claiming to be revolutionary, I think I'm going to scream.

/rant

TL;DR: I guess you could say I'm tired of cis dyadic people aggressively gendering (or misgendering) things that don't need to be gendered and attaching imaginary intimate organs to depictions that have nothing to do with them.

I believe terf may be a misnomere calling them feminist, maybe flnn (feminist-like-neo-nazi) would be more accurate?

Does anyone know how that one trans girl was able to accomplish this? I was going to try using Seeking Arrangement, but does anyone know if there is a better avenue to try to make this happen? It's been 13 years and I still am no closer to having the money to pay for it. I have no degree, am in debt just trying to survive, and every day is a nightmare just trying not to break down while existing in this body. I have tried everything else I can think of, absolutely everything, and nothing has made a difference. I am at my wits end and I am trying so hard not to give into ideation, but I am so close to breaking. If anyone knows anything, please let me know, I would appreciate it so much.

Been in a bit of a disagreement with some friends over this, so I wanted some other opinions. Made a simple Google form to collect data.

I am aware that my opinion may cause some negative reactions and I fully accept them and will be glad to discuss with other people the topic in question.

Recently I started to think,why we don't want to say that being outside the binary is a choice ? Because of the pain we feel that playes big role in the decision to transition ? Because it makes us feel like our feeling are valid ?

But even without pain each decision you make for yourself no matter based on emotions or not is still valid.And even pain might be driven by choice.The choice to accept your identity often leads to increased dysphoria. Still we are scared to make it a choice.

But why? Because making it choice will force us to accept the responsibility of the consequences no matter what they are - From becoming the weird once the black sheeps in the society to going thru interventions that may not lead to the results we wanted.

If we aren't forced by fate or generics or biology to be this way that means we must face the biggest fear of humanity after death - Taking responsibility of once fate. That's why many people even in their thirties do what their family wants ,that is why many people go with the flow despite feeling the desire to go against the masses - they avoid burdening themselves with their own fate ,they don't want to be that one person who deliberately choose to be outcast .

And it is absolutely understandable ! Who wants to face the idea that they could have been whatever they wanted if they had the guts to go against the crowd? Who wants to bear the weight of the cross of responsibility and feel the pain of betraying oneself?

On other hand making it and anything else for that matter a choice deliberately may be the thing that we need the most.

Bodies are physical manifestation of once identity in order to verify it's existence. As such we have the right to change them however we want to manifest our souls in tangible form.That is the only reason we need ,no pain or biological difference ,just our will to give physical form of our consciousness .

Same is with every aspect of us .We feel obligated to stay with the names we ware given but even if we don't feel pain we have the right to change them in order they to represent our soul.

Authenticity and individuality are one of my obsessions .For long time I was against changing anything no piercings no changing hair colour no correction of my teeth nothing. I wanted to be myself to show to people that I can change the rules and instead to fit the masses expectation to be me. But then I realised that I want some changes and I felt guilty still I was curious. First I get my first piercings, then second ,then third ,then I changed my hair colour and started to shorten it . Instead of feeling less like myself I started to feel more like me ,as if my actual identity / soul from the begging was made to have hair color out of this world or have piercings. In the eyes of the people around me I became weirder and weirder. I started to question if I just want attention .

And that in my opinion is one of the reasons we don't make it a choice. We feel bad to just want to do it . As if without pain or something forcing us is bad to want to show your differences. Because in our genes is is coded to want to fit in because before in prehistoric times not fitting in was equal to death. So choosing not to fit it go against our mechanics but at the same time is the thing we need.

Last thing I will say. Yesterday I heared someone saying this and I find it both scary and liberating : People have free will because whether they think they have free will or not they are right !

Has anyone ever felt drawn to using menstrual products like pads or tampons as part of affirming your identity? If so, what did that experience mean to you?

I'd heard a lot of hype surrounding arcane, especially in queer circles because of Vi and Caitlyn. I finally got around to watching it and finished it yesterday. It was a good show, but honestly it didn't feel like it deserved the hype it gets for being queer.

It felt more like queerbaiting. Vi and Caitlyn are put together and shown how much they care about eachother - with absolutely no explicit romantic notions, aside from a single sarcastic "girlfriend" from Jinx. Viktor gets "brother-zoned" by Jayce, too, which hurt because there was as much opportunity to build a romantic relationship between them as Caitlyn and Vi, even if it isn't talked about as much. I really enjoyed the show, but this aspect was frustrsting in an all-too familiar way.

And as a side note, the sex worker in episode 1 really rubbed me the wrong. They are very clearly trans-coded in a negative way. As a trans woman, those stereotypes hurt. I almost turned off the show entirely.

What are y'alls thoughts about this?

I want to become trans has anyone got anything tips

It makes me feel so dumb, lol. Like, lock in, girl, worry about something that matters! Hahahah

Looks like Murdoch might be gunning to axe the BBC, I loathe Murdoch but damn his timing could not have been sweeter :)

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10197111/Rupert-Murdoch-told-PM-rid-BBC-bouncing-Wilfred-knee.html

The significance of this is massive but I'm not sure if non Australians quite get it, Murdoch and his empire are big topics in the sphere of Auspol and his power of mass media is scarily apparent here.

Basically if anyone had the power to axe the BBC it's him and he might be looking to put it on the headsman's block.

I don't mean to sound like a dick, just trying to gather others input on the matter. Even being trans myself, I sometimes see videos/posts of kids as young as 13 or 14 taking hormone blockers, and then changing their minds somewhat through the process of transitioning, and it makes me concerned, because the changes that have occurred could effect them throughout their entire lives, leading to being unable to have childre, ect. Anyways, what do you all think about this?

This is genuine medical care that we need to deal with the disorder of gender dysphoria.

Would you ban children from accessing other medical treatment they need on the basis that they are too young to do those changes to their body?

It's like banning diabetic children from accessing insulin.

It just proves that they don't see our struggle as real. More just a fad / choice that we make.

Yet all the science backs up gender dysphoria.

Your setting them up for a life, childhood and teenage years of misery as they go through the wrong puberty and become even more dysphoric.

I wish I would have been educated on transgenderism as a kid so I would have realized that I was trans before puberty and avoided all the masculinization. Maybe then I wouldn't have had to spent my teenage and early adults depressed, suffering and suicidal. I wouldn't have to live every day in crippling dysphoria, absolutely hating my body.

They are allowing children to suffer, it's sickening. If they listened to and understood trans peoples plight and the pain then maybe they would understand why it's so important to access transition care as soon as possible. But they never will due to systematic discrimination and the fact that we are not taken seriously as people with a genuine medically defined problem that makes life borderline unlivable without the right care.

Their always the ones going "oh won't someone please think of the children" but they don't give a f**ck about trans children. They let them suffer. I think it's a matter of they don't believe how much we suffer, they see it as a trivial matter.

EDIT: The dipshit conservatives have infiltrated this post and are spouting their reactionary, uneducated bullshit. Tell them why they are wrong.