Yesterday was my birthday, and I was worried he might forget about it lol But when I woke up I had a DM from him and he actually remembered.
We’ve both been busy with uni exams lately so we haven’t been able to video call for a while But I still love him so much!!
I really miss talking to him on video call
I hope we can call again soon

I finally caught up to his age I'm 18 now

This is a completely off my chest, positive post. Something for me to look back to.

My bf (25M) and I (25NB) have been together for almost 11 years, 10 years of it long distance after I had to move. It's been 10 years of dealing with the distance, supporting each other through difficult times with poor wifi, and counting down the days to our next visit.

But lately, there's a new feeling. I truly feel it's so close for us to live together and build a life finally.

I don't know if it's the stability I feel after graduating and getting a job. We've also hit the financial requirement for a Spouse Visa, and it feels so close. Finishing long distance has been genuinely feeling within the reach of an arm.

Of course it's what we all hope for, and I never doubted it would one day be true. But now I'm looking in my room and thinking I need to get rid of some clothes I don't wear to make up space for him. Not as a daydream hopefulness, but as a logical thought.

I don't know how to feel, I'm so overjoyed and I can't stop thinking about it. Such a bizarre thing for two people so close to not know what it's like to live together for more than 2 weeks !!

I want to ask him to get some bread on the way back, I want to chat about silly things like the shower pressure or if we need more pillows. We've been together almost 11 years and while we talked for thousands and thousands of hours through hundreds of topics, there's still that domestic/living together topics waiting to be unlocked.

And I really feel it's close. I genuinely can't wait to live together, I want to wake up to his face, I want to fall asleep watching movies knowing we can do it again and again the next day or the day after.

Omg I’m so sorry for the lengthy post.

I’m a 27F, and my partner is a 33M. I’m honestly writing this because I’m having a really difficult time emotionally, and I’d love to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

We met for the first time in July of this year, and it was genuinely beautiful. It was romantic, special, and everything we’d hoped it would be. Unfortunately, I had a cold sore during our visit, which meant we had to be quite limited physically. There were so many things we wanted to explore and experience together that we simply couldn’t. We only had a week together, and I came home feeling like there was so much more we hadn’t gotten to experience.

Coming home was also incredibly difficult. I immediately had to start preparing for my exams, which meant roughly three weeks of studying followed by three weeks of exams. So, for a little over six weeks, I was simultaneously dealing with the emotional withdrawal of having finally met someone I was falling in love with, missing him terribly, and trying to keep up with my studies.

At the end of August, just before my exams, we had a conversation about the pressure our relationship was starting to create.

He is still in school, has children from a previous relationship, and was also dealing with having to find somewhere new to live. He told me that he felt I was leaning on him quite heavily emotionally, and that he felt guilty because he couldn’t be there for me in the way he wanted to be as a boyfriend. He was struggling to balance everything, and the pressure of wanting to be a good partner was starting to affect his schoolwork.

I completely understood. I never wanted him to neglect his responsibilities because of me.
So we decided to take a step back from the relationship label and the expectations that came with it. We agreed to keep talking, essentially the way we used to, but without putting so much pressure on each other or expecting the other person to be constantly available.

I was hurt, obviously, because I had fallen in love with him and genuinely wanted this to work. But I also understood that sometimes circumstances aren’t ideal, and I thought we could give each other some breathing room while still seeing where things might go.

I finished my exams, did really well, and had about a week to sort out my internship contract before starting a four-month internship at the beginning of October.

Unfortunately, the internship has been nothing like I expected. I feel incredibly useless there, I don’t feel fulfilled, and I’ve been struggling mentally because of it. I feel like I’m wasting my time, and I haven’t really figured out how to deal with those feelings.

Meanwhile, things between us were actually going quite well. We were discussing when we could see each other again, potentially in February or March next year. We were talking about what we’d do during a longer visit, since we’d have more time together this time around. I was also looking forward to meeting his children and family and finally getting to experience all the things we hadn’t been able to do during our first visit.

Having those plans to look forward to meant a lot to me.

But as my mental health started declining because of my internship, I found myself leaning on him emotionally again. I was struggling, and naturally, I wanted to talk to the person I love.

Last week, we had another conversation that was very similar to the one we had in August. He explained that he really does want things to work and wants me to come visit, but that the timing is incredibly difficult. He feels he can’t give me the support I need right now, and that this makes him feel guilty and stressed. He needs to prioritize his education and his children, which I completely understand and respect.

So once again, I agreed to dial things back.

The difficult part is that I haven’t really expressed how I’m feeling about all of this. I’m scared that if I tell him how much I’m struggling, how much I miss him, and how frightened I am about the uncertainty of our situation, I’ll end up putting more pressure on him and pushing him further away.

So I’ve been giving him space. He’s still the one initiating conversations, but our communication has become very inconsistent. Sometimes there are huge gaps between messages, and we’re not really having the conversations we used to.

We also have a six-hour time difference, which makes everything harder. When I’m finishing my day, his is still in full swing. By the time he has time to properly talk, I’m usually asleep.

I’ve even turned off notifications from him because I found myself getting caught up in waiting for messages. Now I just check my phone when I naturally pick it up.

And honestly? I miss him so much.

I’m scared that I’m never going to see him again. I’m scared that we’ll slowly drift apart, even though neither of us necessarily wants that. I’m scared that February or March will come and that somehow we’ll no longer be in each other’s lives.

At the same time, I’m starting to realize that I cannot make my entire emotional well-being dependent on this relationship. I need to find a way to feel happy and fulfilled outside of him, especially while I’m struggling with my internship. I don’t want to keep leaning on him when he’s already overwhelmed, and I don’t want to keep putting myself in a position where my entire day is affected by how much or how little we communicate.

I know that I need to work on myself and find some stability again.

But I’m finding it incredibly difficult to navigate the balance between giving someone space and making sure my own feelings and needs aren’t completely pushed aside.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

Did you manage to find your way back to each other? How did you maintain a connection without putting pressure on one another? And how did you deal with the uncertainty of not knowing when you’d see each other again?

I don’t necessarily need people to tell me whether I should stay or leave. I think I’m just looking for some perspective from people who understand what it’s like to love someone, miss them terribly, and simultaneously have to learn how to be okay without having them physically or emotionally available all the time.

I’m trying to hold on to the hope that we can still make this work, while also learning not to lose myself in the process…

Thank you for reading!

My boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m extremely sad. I’m so hurt.

He was the best boyfriend I’ve ever had, even with 718 miles between us. He’s genuinely a great guy. So sweet, innocent, and honest. He felt like home to me. I felt so safe with him, even with the distance.

I’m not gonna lie, I can be a lot. I overcommunicate, I overvoice my feelings, and I speak on things I notice or actions that aren’t being taken. Now that it’s over, I find myself replaying everything in my head.

One thing I noticed during our last few visits was that it felt like he wasn’t physically attracted to me anymore. I questioned it, but he blamed it on the fact that he masturbates. We’re long distance .. We only see each other every 2–4 months, so naturally, I want us to be all over each other when we’re finally together.

He broke up with me over a week ago, and it’s just now really hitting me. Our two year anniversary would’ve been next week, and I genuinely feel sick.

Our relationship wasn’t perfect, and I’ll absolutely take accountability for my part in that. But this man has talked shit about me on every platform he has since the breakup, and I’m so irritated.

I want to vent so bad. I want to ugly cry out loud until my chest caves in. Part of me wants to hop on a flight, show up, and fight to get my man back.

But then I remember how often I’ve been the one fighting, apologizing, and trying to hold things together. We’d get into it, and I’d find myself sending flowers to his doorstep or surprising him with his favorite snacks. Just trying to make things right, even from 718 miles away.

Ughhhhh.
I’m just hurt, frustrated, and exhausted. I miss my man. SMH. 💔

me and my bf are in a LDR (he’s in the US, i’m in canada) and we’ve always talked everyday, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. for the past two years, we’ve been fighting on and off about his lack of effort. recently, those issues came up again, and i also found out he’d been crossing boundaries with a girl he’s friends with (not cheating, just too much to explain). since then, we’ve been fighting constantly and my anxiety has been awful. he keeps promising to change, and he does for a few days, but now even the smallest mistakes make me blow up at him. i’m usually a very patient person, but after two years of begging for effort and everything with this girl, i just feel exhausted.
yesterday, he told me he’d ideally only want to talk three days a week instead of everyday because he doesn’t have enough time and doesn’t value quality time as much anymore. this absolutely broke me. we took some space and talked later, and he admitted that my anxiety and emotional reactions have been overwhelming him and pushing him away. we agreed to keep talking everyday, he’d put in more effort, and i’d work on my anxiety and not blowing up at him. but now i feel like all the blame is on me. i know my reactions weren’t okay, but my anxiety came from his actions and feeling unloved for so long. i was scared of losing him, and now i feel like i can’t even be upset around him without pushing him away.
i should be happy we worked things out, but i just feel sad and like i’m being blamed for everything. i don’t think this is entirely my fault. any advice?

i '19F' recently broke up with my boyfriend '23 M', and i honestly don't know if i made the right decision.

for context, we've been taking for a month and a half and officially dating for 2 weeks; we are long/medium distance being 6 hours drive apart.

before we met in person, we were incredibly close! we would call all the time, play games together, text constantly, use pet names frequently, and he made me feel genuinely wanted and seen. he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and when we finally met in person, it was honestly one of the best experiences i've ever had.

he showed up to my apartment with flowers and a teddy bear after driving 6 hours to see me! we spent a lot of quality time together, going on cute dates, and at the end of it he handed me a cute blue envelope with a golden sticker on it with a card inside with a love letter asking me to be his girlfriend.

however, after the left things began to change; he became less attentive, stopped initiating affection as much, and i started feeling like i was begging for effort. also, when the topic came up of him visiting me or us potentially seeing each other and visiting my family for the holidays as my mother invited us, he would make dumb excuses like "depending on the weather cus i hate tranvelling in snow" (mind you it HASN'T EVEN STARTED SNOWING YET) when i tried to communicate how i felt, he would tell me everything was fine, that i needed to chill or that i was stressing him out by bringing it up.

not only that, but he started bringing up how lazy i was (for reference i work from home) stating i'm always at my computer or lying in bed - which is true but right now i'm lowkey just trying to grind to fill up my savings a bit as he pointed out my finances weren't in good shape and there was room for improvement - which is an okay thing to say as its true... but then began sending me workout apps to install and grilling me about whether or not i've done them. in addition to that, he told me that once i lose weight i will finally be able to clean inside my belly button as right now i'm "unable to go in it all the way" (???).

now - im not going to pretend im a small woman because i most certainly am not - however i am not huge by any means. i lost 70lbs last year for my health with the help of my doctor, as i have a really hard time losing weight and am naturally a bit bigger. (literally just curvy and am 5'7 205lbs with big boobs)... anyways, i asked him if he was serious and he said "yeah, my mom is fat and she is unable to so i figured you weren't able to either, i didn't mean anything bad by it i was being genuine!!"

we had a chat about why he thought i needed to improve so badly and why he was so sure i needed to change, and he told me he gives advice like this to everyone (i.e his roomate, mother, father, etc.) this especially was heartbreaking as after he left he completely stopped giving me compliments and only seemed to notice my flaws.

i asked him if he was still excited by me (for example, when i call, show affection, compliment him, etc.) and he responded "honestly, no." this was really hurtful to hear and i asked him why and he said something along the lines of "maybe when i was pursuing you i was a bit more affectionate than i am now."

i felt unwanted and hurt, and eventually i decided (with my mom telling me to) to break up with him. i sent him a text and then called him after to see how he felt about the idea and he just said that he wasn't going to try to change my mind, which hurt even more because a part of me hoped he would fight for me or at least showed that losing me mattered to him.

now, im sitting here wondering if i made a huge mistake. i still love him, i don't think i wanted to lose him i just wanted to feel loved by him the way i did in the beginning. i reached out and asked him to take me back, but im scared that he wont take me back as he seemed indifferent

so reddit, did i make a huge mistake?

edit: thank you all for your feedback <3, reading the comments made me realize how blind i had been - he didn’t see the message of me asking him to take me back yet bc he was sleeping, so i unsent it.

This is my first proper long-distance relationship, and although we’re only around 3/4 hours apart, some days the distance really hits me. She works & im in college so it’s really hard to plan days especially when she works a lot since she’s a healthcare assistant she does a lot of night shifts. I’m seeing her in January for a 3 day sleepover and I know it’s gonna keep getting harder and harder everytime she leaves.

I’m still getting used to being in a relationship( a REAL healthy relationship after years of being in one where it drained me entirely and took me months to get my best version of myself)where I can’t just see my girlfriend whenever I want to.

I’m so used to having to plan visits, count down the days and make the most of the time we get together.

Most of the time, I’m okay with it. I know we have our own lives, responsibilities and things to do especially as we grow older since we’re 18&19, but every now and then I have days where I just really wish she was here. I’m having one of the most stressful days today and I just wish I could hug her and her telling me it’s gonna be okay& look me in my eyes telling me that it’s okay.

I’ve had a bit of a difficult day, and all I’ve really wanted is to be next to her, and talk about absolutely nothing.

I don’t expect her to fix my problems. I just miss her presence completely. We met for the first time a week ago aswell.

I know four hours might not seem like a huge distance to alot of people, but when it’s someone you love and want to spend time with, it can feel like eternity.

Does anyone else in a long-distance relationship experience this?

I feel that my heart is too clean and genuine. Some ppl wouldn't understand that u would care for them if they took the initiative to care for you, I don't know why I am writing this, but mostly, cuz I feel the ppl I cared for didn't deserve that.

HAHAHAHAHAHA im very curious bc i feel like everyones first after long distance is missionary but im curious if theres others

Basically how it went is that after we had met as a casual encounter from an app, we started to hit off and kept talking. We would talk everyday and call often but we haven’t done anything physical besides “hot texting” and “pictures and videos” due to it being a long distance. She and I would both remarks about how we wanted each other, send each other text with lots of hearts, and talk about how much we miss each other throughout.

We were both fresh out of a relationship and even though I confessed my feelings pretty early (2-3 weeks) but she said she wasn’t so ready and wanted to take it slow. Which I understood. This continued for about 3.5 months before we made it official. We are 1 month into our relationship now.

I learned a month into our relationship now that she had a hookup that went all the way 1 month after us meeting and starting to talk and also would flirt and kiss people at bars and stuff up to two months in our talking stage and meeting.

I also talked with some people and got physical with two girls all the way into 1.5 months of meeting her but both of them were at times that I felt frustrated of her “rejecting” my advances because she wanted to take it slow. I also didn’t go further than kissing and some touch with them.

The thing is, she has told me that she wasn’t sure that I loved her properly, up until the one month mark that was after the hookup but that also means she continued to flirt and kiss people after knowing as well. This was also all during when she would be very jealous very apparently about some of the stuff I do such as going out with my friends that are girls?

I’m feeling super conflicted with all the situation honestly and don’t really know what to feel, or be mad or upset. I wouldn’t do any of what I did with other people and also felt guilty about going further than a kiss and such but I also know that we weren’t committed then.

I was wondering how I could process this whole thing (with her) since I’m upset and jealous. But I also know that we weren’t committed technically(also because of her not feeling ready, though).

i’m having a hard time with my boyfriend. we’ve been ldr for 2 years now this is on and off. things are getting busier these days, and I happen to prioritize my sleeping.

the caveat is … we’re only updating through text. the typical good morning, how was your day? and then poof he’s gone again. our four hour time difference isn’t that much big of a deal, if he wanted too he can actually carve time for it.

i’m trying to understand him a little more, trying to rationalize that it can stem from our differences. our current state and pursuits; he’s working, i’m studying, religious works and what not.

sometimes i’d like to believe that it can probably just be a communication barrier … he’s not a texter and is far better with vocal communication as english is both not our native language.

but omfg!! i’m freaking out … sometimes being mature in the relationship makes you suppress what’s bothering you. it angers me that i’m putting up with this, let alone, bothered by this dynamic when it doesn’t seem to cross his mind.

do i have to put up with this just because we’re an interracial and interrelationship couple???

is there something noble about having to endure all the friction???

or was it probably because he’s caught up with not missing his gym session and playing video games with folks???

i can put up with sm work and still reply to him.

do i just have to ignore him???

i sound like a kid and an old lady communicating matters as to which idek if he’s understanding lol.

ok ok a little petty now but gosh i want to rest my case.

I recently broke up with a guy from Slovakia. We used to talk about our future all the time. At some point it felt like I’d just become part of his routine. The spark was gone for him, and he barely made time to see me.
He lied, he cheated, and I kept forgiving him. When his real identity came out during one of the affairs, he freaked out about his friends or coworkers finding out what he’d done. That part stuck with me.
Whenever I tried to talk about how much he’d hurt me, he’d tell me how much he cared. I’d feel better for a bit, and then we’d go right back to the same shit. I feel stupid for giving him so many chances. I loved him and kept thinking we just needed more time.
We talked again recently, and it all came back. I’m pissed at him, I’m pissed at myself, and yeah, I still miss him. That’s the part I hate admitting.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 yrs. He is going to graduate school that is about 4hrs away. His school work is very vigorous and at most I get 3 calls a week ranging from 5-10mins. I can’t really go to his place due to strict parents. I feel like we both have different lives and he doesn’t tell me what goes in his life. It’s like he doesn’t mean too but like with his friends or what he is doing he doesn’t give me more detail about it and that’s what’s frustrating is he doesn’t give enough communication. I feel like we are still strong in our relationship but just distance and focused on our lives now. He feels at this moment someone on the side that I talk to randomly. It’s not like we are IN each others lives. I don’t know if I explained that well… but what I just need help on is with his studies and little time we have together on the phone what are some things that can make us feel more in a relationship than just what we have going on now.

We're both from diferent parts of Spain and have talked every single day since November 2025. We've only met in person four times (the last was five days in Estonia), and each time has felt more natural. The feelings are mutual and we've both said so.
In September we both started Erasmus, me in Italy and him in Finland. I expected us to drift apart, but we haven't. In Estonia we agreed to be exclusive, and he told me that if it weren't for the distance, we'd be in a relationship.
The problem is that we both graduate this year and neither of us knows where we'll end up: Spain, a master's, a job abroad. We've agreed not to choose where to live based on each other, which I think is fair, but it makes everything harder.
It feels like we're already in a relationship without actually being in one. I don't want to pressure him into promises he can't make, but I also don't want to walk away from something special just because the timing is bad.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?

I need some help regarding a situation in a potential relationship opportunity.

This girl and I have been friends for about a year at this point, and her and I began to have feelings for each other around 2 months ago. We both knew we liked each other, and we’d talk about it very often.

Over the last week and a half or so, she has gotten so incredibly dry and distant. It’s almost as if a flip switched. It is absolutely wrecking me emotionally, because I really felt safe and secure with her.

It feels as if I’m putting in 95% and she’s putting in 5% at this point. I have asked her numerous times if there’s anything wrong and she is insisting that she has “some thoughts” she needs to work out and that I’ve done nothing wrong. She says she will share them when she feels comfortable, but I’m really struggling. I do still like her, a lot, and I don’t want to give up because I know how good things were going.

Her and I met up yesterday, and the vibes were just off from her. I had made her some gifts, even her favorite flowers handmade from pipe cleaners so that she could take them home with her. Those I did give her and she thought they were very sweet. She didn’t really look at me too much throughout the day, all we did was hold hands a few times.

He wants to wait until we see each other to make it official to make sure we click, which I can understand (we're both in our late 20s and he never did LD). However I also end up telling myself I can't put him in the light of my boyfriend when he never actually agreed to it. I end up saying a lot of stuff you really would only say to your partner, and I'm overthinking that I'll push him away. I'm not sure what to do

We met a a year ago, the relationship is always beautiful and perfect. I have never fallen in love with someone like her.

A week ago, out of the sudden her Status/visa got rejected and has to go back to her country.

We are desperate and we are going to get married before she leaves, so she can apply to an F-2 visa (a wife visa).

I can’t get out of the country to visit her, because I am studying and I have 3 more years left.
I am under a student status and it’s risky to get out of the country right now.

I am scared that she leaves and never comes back. I am scared of not seeing her for 3 years. I am scare of ruining the relationship because of the distance. I am scared of start to feel disconnected with her.

This is very sad and scary. Not being with my partner physically, really hurts.

Sorry I have no one to talk about this, so any opinion/ advice or anything helps.