I recently broke up with a guy from Slovakia. We used to talk about our future all the time. At some point it felt like I’d just become part of his routine. The spark was gone for him, and he barely made time to see me.
He lied, he cheated, and I kept forgiving him. When his real identity came out during one of the affairs, he freaked out about his friends or coworkers finding out what he’d done. That part stuck with me.
Whenever I tried to talk about how much he’d hurt me, he’d tell me how much he cared. I’d feel better for a bit, and then we’d go right back to the same shit. I feel stupid for giving him so many chances. I loved him and kept thinking we just needed more time.
We talked again recently, and it all came back. I’m pissed at him, I’m pissed at myself, and yeah, I still miss him. That’s the part I hate admitting.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 yrs. He is going to graduate school that is about 4hrs away. His school work is very vigorous and at most I get 3 calls a week ranging from 5-10mins. I can’t really go to his place due to strict parents. I feel like we both have different lives and he doesn’t tell me what goes in his life. It’s like he doesn’t mean too but like with his friends or what he is doing he doesn’t give me more detail about it and that’s what’s frustrating is he doesn’t give enough communication. I feel like we are still strong in our relationship but just distance and focused on our lives now. He feels at this moment someone on the side that I talk to randomly. It’s not like we are IN each others lives. I don’t know if I explained that well… but what I just need help on is with his studies and little time we have together on the phone what are some things that can make us feel more in a relationship than just what we have going on now.

We're both from diferent parts of Spain and have talked every single day since November 2025. We've only met in person four times (the last was five days in Estonia), and each time has felt more natural. The feelings are mutual and we've both said so.
In September we both started Erasmus, me in Italy and him in Finland. I expected us to drift apart, but we haven't. In Estonia we agreed to be exclusive, and he told me that if it weren't for the distance, we'd be in a relationship.
The problem is that we both graduate this year and neither of us knows where we'll end up: Spain, a master's, a job abroad. We've agreed not to choose where to live based on each other, which I think is fair, but it makes everything harder.
It feels like we're already in a relationship without actually being in one. I don't want to pressure him into promises he can't make, but I also don't want to walk away from something special just because the timing is bad.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?

I need some help regarding a situation in a potential relationship opportunity.

This girl and I have been friends for about a year at this point, and her and I began to have feelings for each other around 2 months ago. We both knew we liked each other, and we’d talk about it very often.

Over the last week and a half or so, she has gotten so incredibly dry and distant. It’s almost as if a flip switched. It is absolutely wrecking me emotionally, because I really felt safe and secure with her.

It feels as if I’m putting in 95% and she’s putting in 5% at this point. I have asked her numerous times if there’s anything wrong and she is insisting that she has “some thoughts” she needs to work out and that I’ve done nothing wrong. She says she will share them when she feels comfortable, but I’m really struggling. I do still like her, a lot, and I don’t want to give up because I know how good things were going.

Her and I met up yesterday, and the vibes were just off from her. I had made her some gifts, even her favorite flowers handmade from pipe cleaners so that she could take them home with her. Those I did give her and she thought they were very sweet. She didn’t really look at me too much throughout the day, all we did was hold hands a few times.

He wants to wait until we see each other to make it official to make sure we click, which I can understand (we're both in our late 20s and he never did LD). However I also end up telling myself I can't put him in the light of my boyfriend when he never actually agreed to it. I end up saying a lot of stuff you really would only say to your partner, and I'm overthinking that I'll push him away. I'm not sure what to do

This is my first proper long-distance relationship, and although we’re only around 3/4 hours apart, some days the distance really hits me. She works & im in college so it’s really hard to plan days especially when she works a lot since she’s a healthcare assistant she does a lot of night shifts. I’m seeing her in January for a 3 day sleepover and I know it’s gonna keep getting harder and harder everytime she leaves.

I’m still getting used to being in a relationship( a REAL healthy relationship after years of being in one where it drained me entirely and took me months to get my best version of myself)where I can’t just see my girlfriend whenever I want to.

I’m so used to having to plan visits, count down the days and make the most of the time we get together.

Most of the time, I’m okay with it. I know we have our own lives, responsibilities and things to do especially as we grow older since we’re 18&19, but every now and then I have days where I just really wish she was here. I’m having one of the most stressful days today and I just wish I could hug her and her telling me it’s gonna be okay& look me in my eyes telling me that it’s okay.

I’ve had a bit of a difficult day, and all I’ve really wanted is to be next to her, and talk about absolutely nothing.

I don’t expect her to fix my problems. I just miss her presence completely. We met for the first time a week ago aswell.

I know four hours might not seem like a huge distance to alot of people, but when it’s someone you love and want to spend time with, it can feel like eternity.

Does anyone else in a long-distance relationship experience this?

me and my bf are in a LDR (he’s in the US, i’m in canada) and we’ve always talked everyday, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. for the past two years, we’ve been fighting on and off about his lack of effort. recently, those issues came up again, and i also found out he’d been crossing boundaries with a girl he’s friends with (not cheating, just too much to explain). since then, we’ve been fighting constantly and my anxiety has been awful. he keeps promising to change, and he does for a few days, but now even the smallest mistakes make me blow up at him. i’m usually a very patient person, but after two years of begging for effort and everything with this girl, i just feel exhausted.
yesterday, he told me he’d ideally only want to talk three days a week instead of everyday because he doesn’t have enough time and doesn’t value quality time as much anymore. this absolutely broke me. we took some space and talked later, and he admitted that my anxiety and emotional reactions have been overwhelming him and pushing him away. we agreed to keep talking everyday, he’d put in more effort, and i’d work on my anxiety and not blowing up at him. but now i feel like all the blame is on me. i know my reactions weren’t okay, but my anxiety came from his actions and feeling unloved for so long. i was scared of losing him, and now i feel like i can’t even be upset around him without pushing him away.
i should be happy we worked things out, but i just feel sad and like i’m being blamed for everything. i don’t think this is entirely my fault. any advice?

We met a a year ago, the relationship is always beautiful and perfect. I have never fallen in love with someone like her.

A week ago, out of the sudden her Status/visa got rejected and has to go back to her country.

We are desperate and we are going to get married before she leaves, so she can apply to an F-2 visa (a wife visa).

I can’t get out of the country to visit her, because I am studying and I have 3 more years left.
I am under a student status and it’s risky to get out of the country right now.

I am scared that she leaves and never comes back. I am scared of not seeing her for 3 years. I am scare of ruining the relationship because of the distance. I am scared of start to feel disconnected with her.

This is very sad and scary. Not being with my partner physically, really hurts.

Sorry I have no one to talk about this, so any opinion/ advice or anything helps.

I need an honest, objective assessment of my relationship. Am I justified in feeling betrayed, or have I become controlling?

I'm a male from India 26, and my girlfriend is 20 and from Vietnam. We've been in a long-distance relationship for approximately three months. We met on Tinder in July and became serious within a few weeks. met her once last month

I want an honest assessment of this situation. Please don't automatically take my side just because I'm telling the story from my perspective. I want both of us to be held accountable.

1. What she did

- Initially, she told me she was 26. A few days after we became a couple, she admitted she was actually 20. She explained that she lied because she was afraid I would leave her.

- When she told me she wanted to start streaming, I fully supported her decision. I never discouraged her from working or earning money.

- She asked me not to watch her streams because she would feel uncomfortable knowing I was watching. I respected her request and never watched her streams. She also hadn't initially shared her streaming username with me, so I didn't know which account she was using.

- She promised that streaming would remain strictly professional and that she wouldn't cross the boundaries of our relationship.

- Over time, I became suspicious because the streaming schedules she gave me didn't match the actual timings. She would tell me she was starting, but sometimes she wouldn't actually begin until one or two hours later. There were also inconsistencies with the times she said she had finished streaming.

- These inconsistencies made me feel that something was being hidden from me, so I bluffed and told her I knew her streaming account, hoping she would be honest with me about what was going on.

- Eventually, she told me her streaming username. When I asked to see her conversations, I discovered romantic and flirtatious exchanges with gifters. One of them called her his wife, and she reciprocated the flirting. She had also asked some of them for gifts.

- My main issue was with one particular gifter she talked to frequently. She seemed bothered when he stopped supporting her, which felt strange to me. Their conversations also seemed quite personal. Sometimes it felt like she was mainly interested in his financial support, but other times she showed a lot of personal curiosity, even asking what he looked like in real life. That made me uncomfortable and question the nature of their interaction.

She also said she had deleted a conversation but only showed me approximately 30% of it. from that one gifter 

- later after confront shecried alot and we only got back because she said she is quitting streaming for one month she will do her family busineess and i agreed 

- Her explanation is that streaming is her work and she needs the money because her family is in debt.

2. What I did

I don't want to hide or minimize my own behaviour.

- I bluffed about knowing her streaming account because I was suspicious and wanted to see whether she would tell me the truth.

- When I finally saw the conversations, I snapped and lost control emotionally.

- I woke her up at around 4 a.m. to confront her.

- I cursed at her and threatened to contact her friends because she was not ready to block me even after getting back i felt i shound not be in this realtionship i asked her to block whih she refuse and , although I never actually did.

- I repeatedly brought up past incidents, even after we had supposedly resolved them.

- We broke up and got back together four or five times, mostly because I struggled with loneliness and couldn't let go.

- Recently, I demanded access to her streaming account because I felt that seeing the conversations myself was the only way I could regain trust. She refused.

- Two days ago, I finally opened up to her about how badly I was struggling mentally. Work and our relationship had both fallen apart within a month, and I genuinely needed her support during one of the lowest points of my life. Her response was, "Why don't you ever share these things with me?" followed by saying she was busy. What hurt even more was that when we spoke the next day, despite still being in an argument, she never once checked on my mental health or asked how I was doing.

I understand that, bluffing, threatening, repeatedly interrogating someone and losing control of my anger are not healthy behaviours. Being hurt doesn't automatically justify how I treated her.

3. How I feel

I feel lonely and unimportant when she goes quiet, leaves me on read or doesn't make time for me.

What hurts me is that I supported her streaming career from the beginning. I respected her request not to watch her streams, didn't interfere with her work and trusted her to maintain the boundaries we had discussed.

I wasn't initially suspicious because I wanted to control her career. I became suspicious because the schedules didn't match, and eventually I discovered conversations that contradicted what she had promised me.

I feel betrayed by the dishonesty, hidden accounts, deleted conversations and flirtatious interactions.

At the same time, I'm ashamed of how I reacted. I don't like the person I become when I'm suspicious. I find myself checking, questioning, seeking reassurance and getting angry when I don't receive the answers I want.

I feel trapped in a cycle of suspicion, confrontation, arguments, breaking up, loneliness and reconciliation.

I don't want to become a controlling partner who constantly monitors someone. But I also don't want to remain in a relationship where I feel I cannot trust what my partner tells me.

4. My questions

1. Is needing access to a partner's streaming account to rebuild trust reasonable? Considering the dishonesty and deleted conversations, is asking for account access a reasonable request for reassurance, or does it cross the line into controlling behaviour? Is her refusal something I should simply accept, even if I cannot rebuild trust without that transparency?

2. Can a relationship work when one partner's income involves flirting with fans? Is it possible to maintain a healthy relationship when streaming involves romantic interactions, flirting, exchanging pictures and asking viewers for gifts? Does the fact that it's her job change how these behaviours should be evaluated?

3. How much responsibility lies with each of us? Is she responsible for breaking the trust through dishonesty and crossing agreed boundaries? And how much responsibility do I carry for my anger, secret recordings, manipulation, threats and repeated confrontations?

4. Am I justified in feeling betrayed? Even though my reactions were unhealthy, does that invalidate the reasons I became suspicious in the first place?

5. How do I stop the checking and anger cycle? How can I learn to tolerate uncertainty, stop seeking constant reassurance and control my reactions when I feel ignored or threatened?

6. Should I end this relationship? Is there a realistic foundation for rebuilding trust here, or are we fundamentally incompatible in our expectations, boundaries and understanding of relationships?

7. What I want from this assessment

Please evaluate both individuals independently.

I don't want you to excuse her dishonesty simply because streaming is her job or because her family needs money.

Equally, I don't want you to justify my behaviour simply because I was hurt.

I want you to distinguish between legitimate relationship boundaries and controlling expectations.

I also want you to consider whether asking for transparency after trust has been broken is reasonable, while recognizing that nobody should be forced to surrender their account privacy.

Most importantly, tell me whether this relationship is worth repairing or whether I'm holding on because I'm lonely and emotionally attached.

Please be direct, even if the truth is uncomfortable. I would rather understand my own mistakes and make a difficult decision than receive reassurance that makes me feel better temporarily.

HAHAHAHAHAHA im very curious bc i feel like everyones first after long distance is missionary but im curious if theres others

Hi everyone,

I've been working on a project called Fort https://fortparty.app, and I think people here might actually find it useful.

Watching a movie together on a call never really feels together. Someone counts 3, 2, 1, someone presses play a little late, and you're a few seconds apart the whole time. You laugh at a scene the other person hasn't seen yet.

Fort keeps both your screens on the same second. You both open the same movie on your own Netflix, Prime Video, JioHotstar, YouTube or Crunchyroll account, one of you shares the link, and that's it. If one of you pauses, it pauses for both. If one of you goes back to rewatch a scene, the other goes back too. There's a small chat on the side as well.

You can use it two ways:

1. Chrome extension (laptop or desktop) for Netflix, Prime Video and the other streaming services.

2. Web app for YouTube, Google Drive or any direct video link. Paste it into Fort's player and watch together, with nothing to install.

Joining a party is always free, and the first 100 people who sign up get their first month free, no card needed.

It's still early and I'm the one building it, so if you try it, please tell me honestly how it felt and what didn't work. It would really help.

Website: fortparty.app
Chrome extension: Fort Watch Party Chrome Extension

Basically how it went is that after we had met as a casual encounter from an app, we started to hit off and kept talking. We would talk everyday and call often but we haven’t done anything physical besides “hot texting” and “pictures and videos” due to it being a long distance. She and I would both remarks about how we wanted each other, send each other text with lots of hearts, and talk about how much we miss each other throughout.

We were both fresh out of a relationship and even though I confessed my feelings pretty early (2-3 weeks) but she said she wasn’t so ready and wanted to take it slow. Which I understood. This continued for about 3.5 months before we made it official. We are 1 month into our relationship now.

I learned a month into our relationship now that she had a hookup that went all the way 1 month after us meeting and starting to talk and also would flirt and kiss people at bars and stuff up to two months in our talking stage and meeting.

I also talked with some people and got physical with two girls all the way into 1.5 months of meeting her but both of them were at times that I felt frustrated of her “rejecting” my advances because she wanted to take it slow. I also didn’t go further than kissing and some touch with them.

The thing is, she has told me that she wasn’t sure that I loved her properly, up until the one month mark that was after the hookup but that also means she continued to flirt and kiss people after knowing as well. This was also all during when she would be very jealous very apparently about some of the stuff I do such as going out with my friends that are girls?

I’m feeling super conflicted with all the situation honestly and don’t really know what to feel, or be mad or upset. I wouldn’t do any of what I did with other people and also felt guilty about going further than a kiss and such but I also know that we weren’t committed then.

I was wondering how I could process this whole thing (with her) since I’m upset and jealous. But I also know that we weren’t committed technically(also because of her not feeling ready, though).

Lied about my past during the 4 months we spent talking, then opened up to her because I couldn't lie anymore, and now we are at a rebuilding stage. I truly believe I am working on myself, addressing my past traumas, resolving my unresolved issues so I can love better, but its not easy to show the changes I am making in long-distance. If I tell her I've not smoked for two days or that I'm eating better or going gym regularly, it seems like I am saying it just to earn her trust back, not because I am genuinely doing these things. Does it make sense? Those who did it, how did you do it?

My girlfriend and I will attend universities in different countries. After we graduate from high school next year, she’ll be in Europe and I’ll be in the US. I don’t have a clear idea of what my future life will look like or what career I’ll end up pursuing. Still, we both hope very much that we can be together once we finish our 3–4 years of undergraduate studies.

Given the career prospects in the US versus Europe, could you plz give me some advice on whether and how I could move to Europe to be with her and settle there long-term?

Also, I’d really appreciate any tips for keeping our long-distance relationship fresh and healthy!!!

I'm tired and defeated. It sucks to have childhood trauma, and it keeps getting in the way of my relationship. I've been told a lot of times that I'm too much, and I'm tired of it and myself.

The 7-hour time difference was nothing, since I can adjust my schedule to fit hers. Even when I'm busy, I still reply to her messages right away, but when she's busy, I don't hear from her at all. I'm probably at fault for expecting more. We talk about it, but in her defense, she's diagnosed with ADHD, so she can't always reply and takes longer because she needs to focus for work.

I asked her to at least tell me when she's going to be busy so I'd know to expect a reply later (my morning), but she kept forgetting.

I wanted to break up, but I still love her. I don't know what to do anymore.

Yesterday was my birthday, and I was worried he might forget about it lol But when I woke up I had a DM from him and he actually remembered.
We’ve both been busy with uni exams lately so we haven’t been able to video call for a while But I still love him so much!!
I really miss talking to him on video call
I hope we can call again soon

I finally caught up to his age I'm 18 now

I M26 have a coworker F24 that I really like. She is from and lives in another country 2000KM (1250 miles) away from me.

We talk only on teams and because of that only during office hours. But we talk quite a lot, about anything and everything. Recently she came up with the idea to recommend each other a movie to watch during the weekend that we could then discuss in the upcoming week. I have started to really like her recently and I suspect she at the very least enjoys our conversations too. We rarely have 1 on 1 meetings but in group settings I noticed she smiles and listen when I talk. You know when someone is presenting the cams move to the right. I noticed she kept glancing to the side, then when I do too I see a smile appear and she quickly looks away.

This will probably sound very silly but this is how I feel at the moment. I kind of want to move our conversation off teams but not sure how to do that without being too obvious or overstepping in any way. Then at a certain point I want to confess the truth to her too but there is no way I'm doing that on teams so step 1 would need to happen first.

I read this quote that stuck to me: if the truth would end a relationship, is it really a relationship?

Any and all advice is welcome, thanks in advance!

I'm 36F, and my partner is 39M. We met online during COVID, six years ago. We were both fresh graduates at the time.

I was going through probably the roughest phase of my life. My relationship with my parents had deteriorated, I was almost homeless, living in dorms with help from people who knew my circumstances. I was juggling two or three jobs simultaneously just to get by. During that time, I met him. He became someone I could talk to, someone who listened and provided emotional support when I really had nobody else. We connected quickly and committed to each other within a few weeks. It was our first relationship and we both have been only this relationship.

We met in person for the first time after about 2.5 years of long distance.

Over these six years, we've achieved quite a lot together. We're both in a white collar job now and have progressed professionally. We've each been promoted three times and bought our first cars. I've also helped him financially, including paying for his car, which he is gradually paying me back for.

These achievements might seem ordinary to some people, but they mean a lot to me considering where I started. We've both worked hard, although I feel I've carried a considerably larger share of the burden in helping him become stable.

Things became more complicated when we started spending time together physically. I realized that being in a long-distance relationship and actually sharing space with someone are very different things.

He's a nice person in many ways, but he can be controlling. Initially, even small things like where something should be placed in the kitchen or how certain things should be done became issues. I had to explain that I'm an adult and don't appreciate being treated like a child.

We've had several arguments and even considered breaking up multiple times, but things eventually settled. We both have some anger issues and have been working on ourselves. I can honestly say I've worked very hard on improving my behavior, and I can see that he has made some improvements too.

However, one persistent problem is that he seems to lack insight into his own anger and mistakes. He gets angry with me in ways that I don't see him behaving with his friends or family. When I try to address something that affects me, directly or indirectly, I cannot simply stay quiet. But these discussions often turn into arguments.

Another thing that bothers me is that he frequently says he loves me more than I love him. I'm a more practical person and tend to express love differently. I also feel that he doesn't fully recognize or appreciate how much I've contributed to our relationship and how much I've worked on myself.

In his defense, he says that being with me has motivated him to push himself harder professionally, and that he might otherwise have chosen an easier career path. I acknowledge that, too. I don't want to dismiss what he has contributed to my life.

My career is extremely important to me. Given my circumstances, I don't feel I have the luxury of abandoning this path or starting over. I cannot afford to lose the independence and stability I've worked so hard to build.

We still live somewhat separate lives and meet in person only every few months. Our relationship is also not public. I have my reasons for not involving my parents, given our history, and he prefers not to involve his family either. We never really planned marriage, but we did imagine staying together and building a life.

Today, he suggested that perhaps we'd be better off as friends with benefits because that would cause him less emotional damage.

We're very emotionally attached, so hearing that made me question everything.

Part of me wonders whether we should keep working on this relationship. Six years is a long time, and we've been through so much together. But another part of me feels that I cannot keep losing pieces of my individuality just to make a relationship work.

I don't want to be in a relationship where I constantly have to defend my independence, explain my feelings, or convince someone to recognize their own behavior.

I'm not particularly interested in finding another relationship if this one ends. I'm not looking to replace him. I could see myself focusing on my career, personal growth, traveling, and simply living peacefully on my own.

Everytime we are in person the arguement gets hot esp when I am on his place. When he comes to my side things are easy. I feel at somepoint when we move together we will have more and more arguments as I dont see this getting any better. Is it time to let go as things are not going to get any better.