INTP males,

What is your behavior like when you settle down? Will you still be interested in your significant other, or do you tend to overthink your decision and go for the next spark?

Hi everyone!

A few days ago, an old friend of mine (INFJ, F24) messaged me out of nowhere. She asked about a random email she had received from a software company regarding the alleged illegal use of their software.

Long story short, I reassured her that it was probably just an automated notification from the company and that there was nothing to worry about.

Honestly, this seemed like a pretty trivial question, and I imagine most people would have known what to do. What caught my attention, though, was that she hadn't contacted me in almost two years.

For some context, I met her during university. I developed feelings for her in our final year and indirectly let her know through one of our mutual friends, hoping the message would eventually reach her.

However, after she found out, she started distancing herself from me. Before that, she would usually respond with one-liners or sometimes ignore my messages entirely in chat. When I talk to her in person, it's fine though. Anyway, After she learned about my feelings, things became even more awkward, and I felt like she was giving me the cold shoulder.

Eventually, I decided to distance myself, not only from her but also from the entire friend group. I later moved overseas for work, so we naturally went our separate ways.

The last time I saw her was during a group video call with some university friends.

There is one thing I still remember, though. During graduation, she gave me a Lego flower bouquet, which she had also given to other people. However, mine came with a handwritten letter. In it, she apologised for distancing herself from me and wished me luck in the future. She also wrote something along the lines of "May the Lord guide your path."

I remember feeling relieved when I read it because her sudden distance had genuinely hurt me back then. At least I finally had some acknowledgement of what happened.

That said, I didn't pursue her anymore. I was emotionally exhausted, and I eventually moved on.

Now, after almost two years of barely any contact, she suddenly messages me again. What's interesting is that her replies seem somewhat different this time. She feels a lot more responsive and perhaps more comfortable talking to me than she used to.

I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into it, though.

Maybe she's simply happy to reconnect with an old friend. Maybe enough time has passed that the awkwardness between us has disappeared. Or perhaps I'm just noticing these little differences because of our history.

I'm not necessarily interested in pursuing her again, but I can't help being curious about the change in her behaviour.

Well there is no further message after 2 days anyway so I guess it's just she's bored and randomly want to chat someone?

What do you guys think? Am I overanalysing? Why did she messaged me?

Hey everyone, this is my first Reddit post. I've been reading a lot of relationship posts here and found the comments genuinely helpful, so I thought I'd share my story and hopefully get some perspectives from INTPs.

I'm an INFJ (33F), and he's an INTP (39M). We met through work about a year ago and used to see each other once or twice a month. At the time, I was married with a daughter, although my over the decade relationship was already falling apart.

Initially, I found him cute but shy, and honestly a little frustrating to work with. Things changed after we spent an afternoon working together. I discovered he was kind, helpful, intelligent, and adorably socially awkward.

I started initiating coffee catch-ups and learned that he was single, wanted a serious relationship, and wasn't interested in having children or being in an open relationship. He knew about my family situation, including my complicated marriage.

Over time, he started reciprocating and even initiated lunch himself. We developed a connection that surprised both of us. Neither of us is good at small talk, but we could talk for hours about politics, religion, people, and life. There was constant teasing and laughter. Even his coworker commented that he'd never seen him talk and laugh like that.

We're actually quite different. I'm decisive, proactive, and assertive, while he's more laid-back and takes things as they come. We don't share many hobbies or interests, but somehow we just clicked. We remembered little things about each other, and I loved how his usually reserved personality turned playful around me.

Meanwhile, my marriage was deteriorating. I'd started discussing divorce with my husband, which led to some very difficult confrontations.

Things escalated during my last week at my previous job. We worked together every day, and he was incredibly supportive. He was also the only person I'd shared my career transition with, from interviews to receiving my offer.

Before leaving, I confessed that I was attracted to him, although I wasn't sure what those feelings meant. He admitted he liked me too. But because he didn't want children, I suggested we remain friends.

What followed was an overwhelming rush of emotions, as if all the restraint we'd held onto had suddenly disappeared. On what I thought would be our final meeting, he asked, "Are we not going to see each other anymore?" That made me believe he might actually want something more.

Then came the misunderstanding that changed everything.

My husband and I had decided to remain legally married for co-parenting reasons, as divorce involving three countries and a child would be extremely complicated. We were already living in separate rooms, and I intended to stay for my daughter.

When I explained this to him, he seemed surprised. He'd apparently believed I was already separated. Looking back, I think saying I was "going through a divorce" gave him the wrong impression, although I'd always referred to my husband as my husband and explained our living arrangements.

He told me we should leave it there for a while and keep our relationship strictly professional.

I asked whether we could continue seeing each other until he found someone, or at least remain friends. His responses were vague: "I don't know" and "maybe." Eventually, when I pushed for an explanation, he admitted things had already gone too deep, and he was afraid of getting hurt.

We hugged goodbye. I told him I still liked him and would miss him. That was when I realised how seriously he'd taken our connection.

Afterwards, I was devastated. I couldn't stop crying and felt like there was a glass wall between me and the rest of the world.

But the experience also forced me to confront my marriage. I realised staying in an unhappy relationship, with constant arguments in front of our daughter, wasn't healthy for either of us. I finally found the courage to move out and separate.

It's been over a month since our last personal conversation. We've remained friendly and professional at work, which gave me the confidence to reach out again.

I explained my situation and clarified that while I don't believe love necessarily lasts forever, if it was with him, I wanted to date him exclusively and explore a future together. However, my circumstances hadn't allowed me to do so at the time.

I ended the message with "I still do."

He told me I'd made the best decision for myself and my daughter, acknowledged that we'd shared some good times, but ended with, "I think I want to leave it at that."

Strangely, my first reaction was relief. For a moment, I felt like he didn't deserve the love I'd been willing to give him, and I was finally free to move on, even open to something casual rather than another serious commitment.

But I couldn't stop wondering why. Was it because he no longer had feelings for me? Because of my complicated marriage? Or because he'd already decided that we were fundamentally incompatible?

So I pushed for an explanation, even though I knew I probably should've respected his answer and left things there. But he didn't reply...

I guess that's where our story ends.

Part of me feels relieved, but another part is heartbroken that two people who genuinely liked each other couldn't make it work. Sometimes I wonder if it was simply the wrong timing.

I don't believe love lasts forever just because you put a label on it. But I know my feelings were genuine. After a over decade relationship, I was even willing to reconsider marriage for someone who made me feel this way.

I don't regret meeting him, or even the pain that came with it. This experience changed my life in ways I never expected.

So, INTPs, I'd really appreciate your perspective:

1. Could things ever be different in the future? I know I need to respect his decision and let him go for now, and I'm not holding out much hope. Do INTPs ever reconsider someone they've walked away from, especially when there were genuine feelings but the timing and circumstances were wrong?

2. Was the incompatibility obvious from the beginning? He knew I had a child, which was supposedly a dealbreaker. I initially thought we both understood the limitations, but he seemed to become emotionally invested too.

3. What do you think was going through his mind when he said "I think I want to leave it at that"? Does it sound like he'd completely moved on emotionally, or that he'd made a rational decision not to pursue something he still had feelings for?

4. Can we ever be friends again? I'm also trying to understand whether cultural differences play a role here. Half of my sadness comes from losing someone I genuinely valued as a friend, whose perspective and advice meant a lot to me.

5. Any advice for me? Please don't sugarcoat it. I'm open to hearing uncomfortable truths.

Thanks for reading. I know this is still long, but writing it down has helped me process everything.

Hey all,

I have tested a few times over the past several years (since probably about 2017-2018 I think is when I first took the Myers-Briggs test, and I test periodically so maybe once every other year or so, spanning across various phases of my life, different times of year, etc). I have previously always tested INTP, but I've been in a relationship for a little under a year now that just seems to have hit me differently on a lot of levels. The interesting part: We took the test together early into the relationship on a date night in, just for funsies because he hadn't taken one before. He got INFJ and I predictably got INTP as per usual. Mind you, I am aware that over time my brain is going to be used to the questions and start treating them as routine, so I acknowledge that there may be some tendency on my part to pick the answers I subconsciously know are going to get me a familiar result. I have considered that, but it isn't the point of this post necessarily.

My boyfriend and I recently took the test again, and he had actually forgotten that we'd taken it the first time around. I admit that I was curious- I wanted to see if he would get the same thing, partly just for fun and partly to see if my own results could be trusted. I didn't expect what happened: HE got INTP, and I got INFJ. A complete role reversal, even down to our individual score percentages being pretty close in range.

So this leaves me wondering: Obviously to be loved is to be changed, blah blah, but to what extent? I will say that this relationship has both brought out the better parts of me, and also enabled me to confront and begin working on the not-so-good parts (jealousy, and some slight issues with me being nosy if I'm honest). I find myself more secure in the sense that I feel I can actually display emotion that isn't part of the customer service mask. I find myself wanting to take better care of myself physically, I find myself feeling more determined and being more willing to commit to difficult tasks. He's really changed my life (and me) for the better, SO. Is this a good sign, that we've seemed to flip? His personality (outwardly, towards me) hasn't changed much except that he's gotten more affectionate over time, our rapport is just as bright and witty as always, and we've been able to really work on our communication as a couple. This is all to say, I haven't noticed anything negative or alarming, and I guess I'm wondering if this is just one of those little signs that I'm with the right person, and that I'm not ruining anything for him by proximity given how his own test score changed.

I went from virgin to a crazy dating life and now I'm in a relationship and finding it hard to be fully invested because its like I wired myself for endless optimization and hookups.

So in a relationship, I feel stuck. Like I'm trapped. I've been working to overcome it but its tough when I could hook up with a new girl any weekend and get easy dopamine and validation without commitment

ilke i genuinely wanna know. whenever i hear the word commitment i get scared

Hi INTPs, I'd love your perspective on how my date (INTP M) and I (ENTJ F) can balance dating during a busy stretch for both of us.

Context: we've been on a couple of dates and the connection was great. We text every day or two, and he shares what he's working on (he's a researcher, in the middle of a big experiment that's eating his time). But we haven't seen each other in person in over a month. I checked in recently: said I was happy to have met him and wanted to keep getting to know him, and asked whether he did too. He said yes, that he does like me, and that things have just been crazy. I believe him.

I've suggested meeting up twice before, so this time I asked what his week looks like and left the planning to him. I'm very much an in-person person; texting alone doesn't do much for me. I'd like to find a rhythm that works for both of us without me doing all the initiating, or becoming another deadline for him.

Questions:

1. When you like someone and keep texting them but don't make plans during a crunch, what's happening from the inside? Bandwidth, inertia, or something else?

2. What makes it easy for you to say yes to in-person time: specific proposals, open questions, something else?

3. How much initiating from my side starts to feel like pressure?

Thanks!

Love INTPs!

I've been wondering about my future and what I like and dislike and the more I wonder and sort of experience life I have realised I can never have the traditional life. I don't want to get married or have kids, even though I'm quite a lover. I want to be with someone I can have intellectual and emotional intimacy with but having a shared space really scares and annoys me to even think of. I do love kids and i might adopt if I'm quite established in my career and the economic and cultural situation of the world is safe enough for me to but I will never be the one to give birth to a child.

Also I might be able to share a space platonically with someone but even that might be too intense for me. I don't understand if this comes from being an INTP. I'm quite an independent person and i think having a romantic partner who's always around would torment my mind intensely and I'd never get any ideas about my work and career.

I wondered if It was my sexuality but turns out it is not. I'm straight (as much as I've understood) and i do enjoy Romantic connections to a certain extent and with very specific types of people. But even the thought of living with them or bearing their children is something I could never do. It feels like that'd kill me and push the curiosity I have for the world away.

I don't know if it's an INTP thing, I know a very few intp women irl and they all sort of have similar views about the future as me.

INTP 30F looking for people to hangout with.

EDIT: By tristate, I'm referring to NY, NJ, CT.

ISFJ girl here dealing with an INTP guy

When things are good, they are great. He’s very affectionate and communicative, talking for 8+ hours otp etc and telling me about how he really likes me, etc. Now he’s told me before he’s very introverted and a homebody. I don’t mind that at all. I do go outside regularly to the gym and hang out with friends occasionally. However out of nowhere he becomes distant, so I give him space and then after a couple days I see he removes me off everything. It happened once before. When i questioned him about it he went on and on about how i may be more extroverted than him etc, went on about how he thought I was out of his league and that I could do better. Then he later on said that he didn’t know what was going through his mind and that he’s glad I came back and how much he likes me etc and thought we were good again.

Wellll he did it again. Became distant out of nowhere and then told me he didn’t want a relationship nor did he know what he wants in the future. I simply just said ‘’lol ok’’ cuz it was a massive 180 in behavior and left it at that. I continued living my life. Posted a selfie a week later of when I went out to dinner with my girlfriends (was very obvious I was with girls only) and see the next day he watches my story and blocks me. …….THEN i see after about a week he unblocks me and has been viewing my profile.

INTPs, please let me know if anyone can explain this behavior or what may be going through his mind. Thanks!

Wth how did they have a flair for my exact situation TvT.

Anyways, fam, I need a little help. I am an INFJ (F) and my heart goes BAM whenever I see my INTP friend. We recently became friends. I do not know if this is normal but we became very close in a short time. He gives me random updates about his day, we talk over text almost all day and night, he suggested going on morning walks together, so we even go on walks together every morning super early, like 6am. He over explains whenever I mention of his past crushes, has opened up a lot (discussed very personal things with me, like his childhood, parents, and told me he cries secretly all the time, etc.). He tells me he thinks of me as a fun person and all. Now, does he like me? I dont wanna get delusional. Would me being like this ruin the frienship?

He also said "I need to spend more time with you" over text, and I was like "Dont we like go on morning walks together already?" He responded with "MORE TIMEEE" in all caps. I am confused, please help me INTPs!

EDIT: WE ARE OFFICIALLY TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cześć dziewczyny! Chciałabym zadać Wam kilka pytań.

1. Z jakimi typami najczęściej budujecie relacje romantyczne?

2. Jakie trudności spotykacie w zbudowaniu relacji romantycznej?

3. Czy umiecie zbudować emocjonalną więź?

4. Jak budujecie emocjonalną więź z partnerem?

5. Czy łatwo się zakochujecie?

6. Jak rozwijacie zwinajomość od 1 randki do związku? Czy wychodzi Wam to łatwo, czy czasem trudno przejść ten wlasnie etap? \[Czyli zbudować zwiazek\]

7. Tu brak pytania. Po prostu Ściskam Was mocno i życzliwie :)

I'm (INFJ) a little puzzled by a guy(INTP) I’ve been talking years now, and about a year and a half confessed to me that he liked me. He rarely asks me questions, and when I ask him if there’s anything he’d like to know about me (basically giving him an opening to ask questions), he says, “Mm, there’s nothing I don’t understand about you. I’m enjoying your many interesting personalities.”
& “Don’t worry, I’m very curious, though it might not look like it. I’m not really curious about personal things, but I’m more interested in sharing thoughts.”

I’d really like to understand how he gets to know someone if he doesn’t ask questions. I understand that we might have different ways of getting to know a person…

But I have to admit, it leaves me a little confused.

Any advice would be very much appreciated~ Thanks.

Okay, this might sound random, but hear me out. 😭 also btw I am an intp so imagined myself in this scene with an enfj ofc

I've never dated anyone or experienced my first time, so I'm pretty much just curious about relationships and intimacy.

I randomly imagined a scenario involving a shy girl who's comfortable with cuddling, kissing and being affectionate with her partner, but gets extremely embarrassed when she wants to initiate something more intimate.

She genuinely wants it but struggles to say it out loud.

Her partner, however, is understanding and never makes her feel awkward or embarrassed about expressing her desires. Eventually, they come up with a little code word. Whenever she says it, he understands that she's initiating intimacy.

Over time, he helps her become more comfortable communicating what she wants, reassures her when she's nervous and makes sure she never feels pressured.

But I also imagined the relationship going both ways. He's not always the one taking care of her. She also wants to be his safe place, where he can be vulnerable, express his feelings and receive the same affection and reassurance.

Anyway, this was literally just a random thought that turned into an entire imaginary relationship scenario. 😂

Now I'm genuinely curious.

Do couples actually have something similar in real life? Have you ever used a code word, private signal or some other way of communicating your desire because you were too shy to say it directly?

I'd genuinely love to hear your experiences and stories.

Also, am I unexpectedly creative for coming up with this whole scenario, or am I just ridiculously imaginative? LMAO.

Hiya. I would just like to ask other INTPs to try and understand something.

Is there a reason that a normal very calm, laid back and stoic intp would suddenly become kinda fidgety, more social and engaging and even rushing about. It was so out of character, I was really taken for a loop. It felt like the person I had been getting to know for 4 months suddenly transformed into another person completely.

He's also usually so polite and gentlemanly, like clearing away my plates and stuff. But he didn't do that this time, and instead was darting between me and the door while I got my self ready. He's also started going to the bathroom a lot suddenly, but each visit is so short (I honestly thought he had IBS or something).

Is he ok? Did I do something? Or is this normal/ expected? (Ps. Nothing wrong with his behaviour at all, just completely mismatched with his normal cool demeanour.) Thanks for any insights!

K so I just realized that my intp friend is extra gentle and considerate with me compared to his other guy friends. We do talk a ton and he feels comfortable sharing his thoughts and interests with me, as well as engaging with whatever tangent I’m going on about my day or latest hyperfixation (he’s a great listener). What he doesn’t do however is tease me, joke around, or act unseriously in any way, the way he does with his other friends, which is funny since we have been friends for a while and I myself make little jokes all the time

I’m wondering what might be the reason he is this way with me and not his other friends. Is he less comfortable with me? if so, why might that be the case? Especially since I am totally myself with him and consider him one of my bestest friends

Idk if I should mention that my intp did have feelings for me for a really long time before we actually became friends, that he never actually told me about (I found out via mutuals). We ended up being friends cuz I eventually approached him and kind of just started yapping (found out we had lots in common!)

I feel like a lot of people complain about things I don't struggle with here, so somehow it feels worse, because I can't even hide behind "oh, I can't find someone because I'm shy," or "I struggle with my mental health," or "I'm ugly," etc. I just feel like I'm going to die alone and need to accept it.

I was in a relationship with an AuDHD person for 8 years and it was awful! I never felt so alone in my life I didnt know someone could be this difficult to coexist with and would self sabotage so often. I never want to go through that again. I've tried dating for the last 3 years, but people lie so much out of shame or fear, or they're toxic, or honestly so dumb they can't hold a simple conversation, or they dump their mental health issues onto me.

I also worked hard coming from a third-world country to the US, and I'm pretty successful and financially set now, so I don't share the financial struggles most people have. I know this all sounds like first-world problems, and it is, but I can't help feeling like it sucks. I put so much effort to get rid of my INTP negative traits and I have no problem getting dates if anything I get too much attention now and I hate it and hate how weird people get when they ”like” me or how often they go from admiration to hating me because I don’t like them back like that.

I just want one person (honestly, an INTP like me would make me so happy) who actually listens, can talk with me, goes on nature walks, and just hangs out without any performances or anxiety. So many people have anxiety, like my ex too even hanging out doing nothing they are freaking out it makes it hard for me to enjoy the moment. Enough complaining I guess.

My sister and I both had dated with typical intps and broke up with a similar reason. It's that while we know they love us, they never do something actively. (There are other things that made me mad but I think this is the main)

heres a list of things that I can think of rn

· never ask for a date (but if i don't ask, they got depressed)

· never plan for a date (same as above)

· never start an action for sex (but passive agressively ask for it)

· never tell me when they are angry or upset (but show me that they are)

· didn't have a courage to ask for when my birthday is (We went for a date for his birthday-june- but he skipped mine -july- bc he didnt know. their friend asked me instead on the following year.)

· made it my fault for breaking up or made me to tell them to end the relationship (it's the way I felt like)

if i discuss this or any other topics they will apologize and say that this won't happen again. and guess what. it will in less than 3 days.

i know not all intps are like this, but i assume some of you could explain this mechanism. fyi it's not like they didn't like me or my sister. instead it was more of the opposite which makes me feel irritated.

When you develop feelings for someone but know a relationship isn’t possible because of circumstances on both ends, how do you usually process those feelings? Can you genuinely miss someone and still be okay with long periods of silence?

And if you’re the one who keeps reaching out after periods of no contact, what does that usually mean for you? Is it simply missing the companionship, or does it mean you’re still struggling to let go?

Would love to hear your experiences and perspectives.

Hi all,

My last 2 exes have been INTP. The first one was 4 months. I was super confused if he even liked me because he would text me one day and not the next and kept words minimal. I was going to end it after the third date but he confessed to me he really liked me. I was like ??? Anyway we ended going out for awhile longer but things didn’t work out. For my most recent ex, he is also an INTP. I loved him a lot, and he says he loved me as well. We dated for over a year with many turbulences throughout. Not sure if this is MBTI related but we were both stubborn, had different emotional capacity, and viewed the world very differently. We recently talked again and we were in the midst of trying to see if it could work out. I basically chose to be very direct with him this time around (I wasn’t before), and I told him I like when he initiates, I appreciate effort, and I listed a bunch of other things I like and need. He says “yeah I need to plan something” but 2 weeks later, I’ve heard nothing or saw no action about said plan. I’m an action oriented person. So when I tell him I’m going to do this, I will actually do it. But it seems to me he just says stuff because many times, he doesn’t follow through or it’ll take him a very long time to actually do something. My question is, is it an INTP thing to take a long time before doing something? And if it is, what else can help when I have been very direct and explicit?

I’ve spent a lot of time willingly alone, and for a while I preferred it that way. I could spend days tucked away playing games, writing, or listening to music; I never felt the need to go out of my way for people and conversation.

However, I realize that being comfortable alone doesn’t make me fulfilled.

I have a hard time articulating my feelings and thoughts to other people—I could have a complete answer and then start to stutter once I actually speak. I think that what I really want is for someone to understand me.

Despite this, it feels impossible because of the time I’ve spent in solitude. There’s this contradiction inside of me that feels a need to be understood but at the same time I don’t want to let these people in, and then have to communicate about how I feel to be understood.

A layer to this complication is that I have a really bad “I don’t care” attitude towards people, even if I really do care. I’m a very irritable person and I end up with snarky remarks even if I really didn’t mean them. This obviously doesn’t help with making friends and what I’ve personally realized is that there are a lot of really kind people that I push away with snappy comments.

Now I’m sitting here, not wondering how I can get these people into my life and start talking, but rather I’m wondering how I can avoid letting anyone in and trying to fulfill my needs through myself. At this point, I know I’m in denial—but the hard part is how do I get out of denial? Or do I even need to leave?

How would you describe your journey ?

Do you think INTP ought to be some of the best underrated parents ?

I'm genuinely curious so feel free to tell us more .

F INFJ living with my M INTP partner for the first time. Both in our 30s and my INTP does not have life skills 😅

He is responsible for unloading the dishes, vacuuming, mopping, taking the trash out but I have to tie it up for him. I do all the cooking, laundry, loading dishes and hand washing a few things, cleaning the toilet, wiping surfaces, cleaning showers and building all the furniture we’ve been purchasing and more.

It’s been frustrating and every time I ask for help with cooking he starts occupying himself with something else. Opportunities to teach him things just does not happen because it’s always next time or I need to do this in my game.

I’m exhausted with work, household chores, and uni. Not sure how I can depend on my INTP who wants to get married and have kids. Just feels like I’m doing it all on my own.

I'm kinda new to mbti so I don't know much, but I met the guy im seeing on a dating app that uses mbti to match people.

Anyway, I'm seeing an INTP guy and I'm really struggling to understand his actions. I'm an INFP and I'm used to deciphering people's underlying feelings and intentions, but this is the first time that I can't get a single read on a person. So it's making me over think and spiral... (which is apparently a characteristic of my personality type lol).

Anyway, the problem is that when we first met, I told him that I need to take my time to get to know people, and he said that he liked that. Since then, we've met an average of once a week and its been about 5 months.

Here's the thing, my feelings for him are starting to grow and I'm feeling more positive about moving forward with a more official relationship, but now I need reassurance that he feels the same. I'm always the one initiating our hangouts, and I'm the one who starts our text conversations 99.9% of the time. He said not to misunderstand this and take it as disinterest, and I've also researched and seen that this might be common for INTPs, but SURELY a guy can't be that interested if he never initiates things. Sure he joins me for everything I suggest we do (even if he's not enthusiastic about it) and only cancles if he is sick or hurt, and he does always respond to my messages. But surely participation with no initation can't be fully rationalised as an mbti trait, right?? I don't want mbti to be used as a cope, and I wanna make sure I'm being realistic about everything since I usually live in my head and in limerence, and I'm trying to break that cycle.

I just can't read him and I wanna know where we are. I asked pretty early on for a bit of clarification for the direction our relationship was moving (friend or romantic) and he was very flustered and completely broke down and even said that kind of question was rude (we speak in his mother tounge/ my second language, so what I said might have come off a bit more awkward than I intended). Later he apologised that I was hurt by his reaction and didn't realise how it came across to me at all.

Our conversations in person are great and so fun! It's just when we don't meet is the problem, and we only meet once a week! So you can see how this is a problem.

Anyway, I'm starting to like him, but am deeply considering our compatibility and rationalising whether a relationship with him would be sustainable. I don't want to burden him, but I also can't live feeling constantly confused or not reasured about the relationship.

I'd really appreciate any insight into my INTP's feelings and where he mighylt be at this point of our relationship/ seeing each other. He does cute stuff like send me the music he's listening to or pictures he took when we talk in person! And I love it!

If you guys think he's showing positive signs for moving forward in a romantic relationship, what could I say to let him know how I feel or my position.

Tldr: INTPs confuse mee ㅠㅠ

Did u approach them or they approached you?

I have realised in friendships & relationships especially with men it is always them approaching me