(any advice from fellow intps would be appreciated)

This sucks so much, i want her back but she doesn't want anything to do with me. I contacted her 3 times in 2 months after the third time she replied this..

" Please stop messaging me. I DONT LIKE YOU. I have no interest in talking to you. I don't feel comfortable with this, and I need to be clear that I'm not interested in continuing any communication. I hope you understand that everything between us has ended, and I would appreciate it if you respected my boundaries. Don’t be a fucking creep and cut out this nonsense. I won’t put up with any of this anymore. If you don’t stop, you'll have to deal with the consequences. You’re 23, not a child. Stop acting immature. Do not message me again. Any further contact will result in a police complaint for harassment. "

Obviously I'm not gonna contact her anymore. It just sucks ass, knowing im never going to see her again or talk to her and that this will be our last communication.

The worst part is im still hopeful she will talk to me. Intellectually i know she is never going to want to do anything with me, but emotionally i still keep making up scenarios in my head where she will suddenly unblock me.

i made a mistake. I lied to you. And you left me. And maybe i didn't apologise enough in time and you gave up. Maybe you always wanted to break up with me and this was the first excuse you got so you did it and didn't look back. Maybe you started liking someone else. I can think of a million things but the bottom line is we aren't together anymore. However i interpret that reflects on me. So i will just wish for you to be happy even though i wish for you to be with me.

I’m a femme enby. I’m very kinky/explorative and dominate in bed much of the time. It has surprised most of my past relationships with men. Now days I know I prefer soft nerdy guys that are into it.

Got me wondering how similar other INTPs were. And if there is a gender split.

So, if you’re game,

Gender?
Are you kinky?
Dom, sub, or switch?
Preference in partners?

I've never been cultishly involved, but knowledgably aware and resonating with, at least to the point I've shamelessly called myself red pilled to some degree on some level.

If similar others exist, feel free to join me in shamelessness, if others want to hate or just disagree then at least try to make original minded points about it.

Hello Guys. I am an ENTJ. I have noticed that The funniest and most satysfying conversations I have are with Ne People. ENFPs, Entps, INTPs. Its awesome - Just The Ni and The Ne that comes together is very amusing. I have reallly wondered how I come find nothing interesting as a conversation. Intps are the only one that understands my villian display in the real World. How you even relate to Te-Ni and My Fi is a mystery to me.

Regardless, I have Met an INTP girl. We are dating. Its very amusing so far. She is shy and does not get that intellectual Side Out of her. I reallly would be interested how you guys are - I mean as men we dont like when our woman iš a smartass. I find it a challenge and something to defeat. And I Will eventually always win. Would you Like to challenge me in a discussion about everything to get a taste of the real side of my new cute girl. (Dont let it get too Long - Just out of interest and teasing :))

Getting intimate must be also an awesome experience with such smartasses. Do you guys have a high libido? I think regardless it would be very funny

I (24M ENTJ) have been talking to an INTP (24F) for a while now (She knows already that I am in love with her but she is just not there yet and not even sure if she ever will be, So I just kept things chill and gave her space (Considering she lives with her mother, does not go out much, has concerns about life stability, has bad experience about relationships while at college)) ... We have a very fun, trolling, and banter-heavy dynamic. Tonight, we were playing Truth or Dare over text and we hit a moment that I need your opinion on.

I asked her what the most romantic thing someone can do for her is. She simply replied, "Make me laugh."

My analytical brain kicked in, and I asked a slightly challenging follow-up question: "But then anyone who can make you laugh can be romantic to you can't they?"

She gave a very blunt and honest "Yeah they can"

To be brutally honest, this feels like a red flag to me. It makes it sound like her romantic triggers are way too easily accessible. My fear is that she is easily swayed, and any funny guy could just come along, crack a joke, and suddenly be a romantic option for her (Because literally anyone can be better than anyone).

I know you guys are notoriously literal and honest about this, so I believe she meant exactly what she said. But I need you to decode this for me. Does her answer mean she actually lacks a sense of loyalty and exclusivity, or was she just answering the mechanical logic of my question without attaching any real-world weight to it?

Please do not sugarcoat it. Is this an actual red flag for her personality type, or am I completely misinterpreting how an INTP processes a question like this?

I was thinking that dating applications, forums, messengers, and social media websites encourage us to obfuscate everything because we already lead with an introverted processing function in our COGs.

I was thinking that we need friends that take the innate responsibility to challenge our grips so that we stop overthinking things and communicate more efficiently. It helps us take on life with less friction.

I was thinking that we need to listen to those that can provide us with a healthy dose of quick wit because it helps us file our cluttered minds away.

Maybe a phone call can address the communications breakdowns that have become a popular theme of what people complain about in their relationships through these forums?

If you get past the ADHD of "I lost my phone." and the Autism of "It's on silent." then it may mean something to us.... I think... anyways....

I've been having a middle school crush on a girl named Prathiksha. It's been like almost 10 years since I first saw her and I still daydream of her often. I don't even have her picture but her appearance is clear in my mind, thanks to daydreaming about her everyday ever since I met her. She's almost like a comfort character to me. I usually daydream doing something romantic with her, and also obviously goon to my daydreams. She's like my sleep aid at night. Whenever I feel worse, I'll just daydream of being with her.

But I'm 24 now. Idk if she's alive, married, in a relationship, etc. I can't contact her at all. Is it unhealthy to still keep daydreaming of her and gooning to her? Should I try to forget her and move on?

First time posting here, honestly right now I'm kinda bored. Never had a relationship but for me I feel like a ENTJ woman might be a good suit for me, to act as my polar aggressive opposite and give me a good kick in the ass to get shit done instead of just thinking about it. I really like girls with some assertive sometimes dominate fiery personality and me being the one to help them in the shadows and be more of the calm rational one and rage bait them sometimes for fun. (I must sound like a complete delusional dreamer lol)

Don't think I'll attract one anytime soon as I am now and considering ENTJ women seem to be a rare gem compared to a majority of mbti women personalities.. but one can be hopeful. 😌

How about everyone else? 😅

This might even be a personality thing, but as a woman (38yo) I have only observed that men I’m in love with feel deeper in love than I do, especially the longer the relationship goes on. I think I am initially much deeper, but after a year or so, these men dig in deep to the point that I cannot sustain. They want so much of me that my independence feels threatened. After 10 years married, the man I am married to is inconsolable if i want my own being back, whereas I can easily find my own individuality. I’ve seen this with so many of my female friends though (not just INTP), and I just wanted to share in case this a personality thing or maybe women are more resilient/independent. I’m an INTP and maybe it’s easy for me to move on? I’m flexible and love to be free and keep my options open. I adore the idea of delving into the mind of a deep thinker and getting to know their initial thoughts, but once I’ve probed them fully, I get bored unless they have continually changing depths or the drive to improve their depth level. While I’m not particularly social on more shallow terms, being social on an intellectual level is thrilling. Is this all personality based?

Hey there! I’m looking to connect with other individuals and build meaningful friendships. I’m 33F and open to anyone, but I’ve realized that drastically different lifestyles can sometimes make friendships challenging. I don’t want to mask who I am or make anyone feel uncomfortable.

I think logically and systematically, which has sometimes led to my words being misinterpreted, especially by highly sensitive people. I get along best with direct, confident, mentally stable, and positive friends who bring good energy into my life.

A little about me:

• Middle-class and financially stable.

• I have a lot of people in my life but want more friends who are more compatible.

• I highly value diversity and enjoy connecting with people from different cultures.

• Recently completed computer science classes and interviewing for software development roles. If you understand the balance of intense work and alone time, we’ll probably get along well.

How my autism and ADHD work together:

• I learn rapidly but burn out hard.

• I’m emotionally intense and cycle between deep relaxation and pure grind.

• Hopefully, that doesn’t freak you out, and you can vibe with that rhythm.

Feel free to check out my Reddit post history to get a better sense of me. I just want to connect with positive, like-minded people who share high compatibility with me—let’s chat!

Stuff I am into:

- Oculus VR gaming

- Boxing

- Swimming

- Software development

- Animal Crossing

- Spy x Family

I'm talking to an INTP girl, and recently we had a disagreement about finances in a future relationship.

I believe that if both partners work, they should ideally contribute toward shared expenses and jointly save/grow financially, with the exact split being something both agree on.

She grew up seeing her father handle essentially all the family expenses while her mother kept her own income, so she feels that if she earns money, it's hers, while the husband should handle the family's expenses from his income. She doesn't expect to be asked to contribute financially.

We talked it through and things are fine now, but this made me wonder whether we're fundamentally different in how we view marriage and money.

INTPs, how would you interpret her perspective? Is this simply a different financial philosophy, or would you consider it a potential compatibility issue?

Hi I'm Entropy,

Have you ever wondered what's the pattern the universe has? Or is it purely a mere coincidence? Maybe there's a god? Or maybe just the universe making nothing but accidents?

Tell me your thoughts.

Let's get to know each other.

About me:

I'm 30f, married to my 32 year old husband. I'm Asian. I love reading nonfiction books. I also enjoy collecting useless facts and I tend to have dark humor. Hehe.

My interests are: neuroscience, learning, cognitive science, epistemology, sociology, behavioral science and psychology.

Anyway, enough about me. Tell me some sort of plans you have in 10 years. What makes you happy?

Short summary: Imagine you know an intp is into you but that intp isn't aware of its own feelings but you know that he is into you(atleast 99%) but that small 1% makes you unsure but you like him back too, yet you don't want to confess because of that 1% but you want him to confess first. How to solve that?

i've been thinking about giving romantic signs but given on how unpropable it is that this male intp does pick it up, i either need to know which kind of signs to give (like hard stare) or if I need a different approach.

And pleaseee another approach other than the direct one would be greatly valued.

(sorry if this post sounds too harsh or direct but its 12 am and i need to be quick and exact as possible so no time for self inserted love stories)
(also sorry for my grammar, english isnt my first language)

INTP 18F here, if that even matters for this curiosity lol. I have basically zero experience with relationships and honestly have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to this stuff. I don’t really feel like asking people I know about it, so Reddit feels like a safe place to ask 😭

I’ve talked to one ENFJ online before, but just as friends , and to be VERY clear, I didn’t have a crush on him or anything lol. I just noticed that we got along pretty naturally and he seemed to understand the way I think, which made me curious about whether ENFJ might be a type I naturally click with.

I’m also kind of weird. I have a ridiculously active imagination and I roleplay a lot on random apps, so sometimes I wonder if an ENFJ and an INTP like me would actually be compatible or if I’m just overanalyzing one friendship and building an entire theory around it 💀

I know I’m technically 18 now, but I genuinely have zero idea how relationships even work and still feel like a confused kid half the time.

So ENFJs, what do you actually think about INTPs? What qualities do you appreciate in them, and what parts of the INTP–ENFJ dynamic can be difficult?

And be honest: am I being a little delulu for thinking an ENFJ could potentially be my type based mostly on one good friendship, or is there actually something to the compatibility people talk about?

I’m genuinely asking out of curiosity, not trying to find someone here 😭

convince me not to rope

he's an intp

he told another girl she's cute and funny

I'm talking to an INTP woman and we're currently getting to know each other seriously.

We recently discussed our views on finances and marriage. Her position is that she absolutely wants to remain a working woman and would never leave her job. She's likely going into the Indian Railways, so transfers between locations are something she expects to be part of her career.

She has also told me that, in her ideal marriage, her income would remain entirely her choice, while the husband would be responsible for the family's financial obligations, including major expenses such as the house, car, savings, etc.

I asked her how she imagines things working if both partners are working, especially if the husband is extremely busy with work, and how household responsibilities would be divided.

Her response was essentially that she will always work and that being with her may be difficult because of her transfers. She also currently prefers the idea of maintaining a lot of independence rather than immediately living together.

I'm not trying to argue that her view is wrong. I'm trying to understand the overall relationship model she's envisioning.

INTPs, especially women who strongly value career and independence: how would you interpret this? Is this simply a preference for financial independence, or does it suggest a fundamentally different view of marriage/partnership?

And how would you expect the practical side of things to work when both partners have demanding careers and one has frequent transfers?

She (INTP F 24), Me (ENTJ M 24) Context first:

1.We both have feelings for each other, she has just not confessed, has said it's quite hard for her at the moment but she will. I've given her space. (Trust me on this, She lives alone with her mother and her life is genuinely difficult and busy). We mostly talk at midnight.

2.She often jokes with 💩

3.She teases me with Rakhi as if I'm her hubby. (Rakhi is a controversial celeb)

4.She nowadays have become even busier because of some social work and is falling asleep easily (I keep insisting her to sleep early but she still stays awake, but times are getting better now). She fell asleep with my chat open, in this conversation.

5.We live kinda far, 1.5hr via metro. She said she needs time, her mother is also strict. She is waiting for her job post, then she will meet me. (Previously I just mentioned that I'll be coming near her house for some work, she should join me for some coffee). She genuinely wants to meet but not now.

6.We do watch online movies every Sunday when her mom's asleep.

7."C" on my forehead means "Idiot is written on my forehead".. In our native language, "Idiot" is a word starting with "C"

8. We have been talking for like 3 months.

Now the chat:

**She**: Bye

**She**: Good night 😴

**She**: Take care ❤️

**He**: 😂😂😂😂

**He**: Nooo babe

**He**: I hadn't fallen asleep, I got up to drink water

**He**: I will sleep a little later, I am not tired like you 🌚

**She**: Oouuuu I thought you were sleeping

**He**: Noooii if I sleep I tell you

**He**: 🤪

**She**: *(Replying to "I will sleep a little later, I am not tired like you 🌚")* You could be tired for other reasons too

**He**: What reason would it be

**He**: Not tired

**She**: *(Replying to "What reason would it be")* Manyyy things 👀

**He**: You are poop

**He**: *(Replying to "Manyyy things 👀")* Like what? 👀👀👀

**He**: Be clear

**She**: *(Replying to "Like what? 👀👀👀")* Like you clean poop

**She**: Of people

**He**: Hushhhh

**He**: 😏😏😏

**She**: Ha ha

**She**: 👀

**He**: 😏

**She**: Are you Rakhi's husband?

**He**: *(Replying to "You could be tired for other reasons too")* I don't get tired so easily though 😌 Nice try btw 👀

**He**: *(Replying to "Are you Rakhi's husband?")* Yossss

**He**: I am

**She**: *(Replying to "I don't get tired so easily though 😌 Nice try btw 👀")* Shhh

**He**: 😏😏😏

**She**: You do get tired though

**He**: Nahhh I have energy

**She**: Where

**He**: Can stay up till late even then, do work.. But then the sleep is amazing

**She**: Show me 👀

**He**: *(Replying to "Show me 👀")* Whattt 👀👀

**She**: *(Replying to "Whattt 👀👀")* Yes 👀

**He**: How do I?

**She**: *(Replying to "Can stay up till late even then, do work.. But then the sleep is amazing")* I am not talking about that work

**She**: *(Replying to "How do I?")* You know

**He**: *(Replying to "I am not talking about that work")* Exactlyyy 😌

**He**: I have 'C' written on my head, you know

**She**: *(Replying to "I have 'C' written on my head, you know")* No 'D' is written

**He**: *(Replying to "You know")* You get tired and fall asleep early, I still stay up.. here's what to show darling 😌

**He**: *(Replying to "No 'D' is written")* Ssshhhhhh

**She**: *(Replying to "You get tired and fall asleep early, I still stay up.. here's what to show darling 😌")* Noooo

**She**: Show me

**She**: Quickly

**She**: 👀

**He**: What should I show, at least tell me clearly first?

**He**: 👀

**He**: Looks like you fell asleep

**He**: Good nighttt 😴

**He**: Take care ❤️

**He**: Saw who was tired 😌😌

**He**: Goood Morningggg 🌅

**He**: *(Voice message - 0:33)*

**She**: Good morninggg 👻👻

**She**: Everyday I am falling asleep early 😶

I need opinions and advices:

1. Is she asking for my genital photos or something?

2. Shall I really send it to her? (i personally believe it's not a good idea)

3. Does she want some pleasure digitally?

4. Was she referring to masturbation?

5. How do you think we are doing?

I'm (M) an INTP (18) and she's (F) an INFP/ISFP (18). I haven't been able to fully understand her.

We've been in a relationship for almost 2 years, and honestly, I feel uneasy. She's not a bad person, but I feel like she's sometimes a bit emotional and it’s quite challenging for me to handle. Our last 3 interactions have had zero chemistry between us, zero physical attraction (like lately, maybe for a while).

She has told me a couple of things that made me feel emotionally unsettled, and that left me feeling down and wanting to take a step back. (We’ve already talked about it, and she explained, but I still feel that way, and I decided to step back.) I've already told her what I thought twice, but she responds with arguments from her Fi that I honestly don’t know how to address, like: “when you love someone, you try to solve the problems,” “I still love you,” “physical intimacy isn’t everything.”

I’ve told her I like spending time with her, but honestly, I don’t feel the same level of active listening or physical attraction from either of us. So I thought it was better to just remain friends, since what’s the difference between good friends and partners who aren’t attracted to each other?

She told me that being a best friend isn’t the same thing, but I honestly don’t see the difference.

I also don’t see myself in such a long-term relationship, and she expects it to last a lifetime. She wants children, and I never want to have a child. She needs a lot of affection (not that I’m not affectionate in general, but she needs more, and I tend to be a bit distant).

It’s quite difficult for me to truly understand what love is.

I know it might seem like I’m not doing well, and honestly, I don’t know. I just don’t understand, and I’m not sure how much effort I should put into preserving this bond we’ve had for so long. I’m hesitant to continue, but I don’t know if I’m making the right decision.

Help me (although I think maybe INTPs might not be the best for this kind of advice).

As a gay INFP that still hopes to get an INTP boyfriend in the future and make him feel incredibly loved, I don’t want to suffocate him or anything, you know? Not saying I will get an INTP boyfriend ofc but if I did, this would help a lot and so I thought I’d ask to be prepared.

As an INFP, my top three love languages are Words Of Affirmation (any kind), Quality Time and Physical Touch. Would that be a problem for an INTP guy who has me as an INFP boyfriend or does it depend on the INTP himself and that it can vary?

Hi! I have a question for all the INTPs (Males) who have been in a relationship, are currently in one, or even those who have never been in one everyone is welcome to answer.

I’m genuinely curious about how you understand the concept of being in a relationship.

What does being in a relationship actually mean to you? What do you expect from a romantic relationship, beyond simply having someone you’re attracted to or spending time with?

For example, do you see your partner as someone who occupies a specific and unique place in your life, which comes with certain things you would only do or share with them? Or do you see your partner more as an addition to your existing life, someone you love and care about, but without necessarily changing the way you naturally live, behave, or interact with other people?

I’m also particularly curious about loyalty and exclusivity.

Where does loyalty begin and end for you?

Is loyalty mainly about physical exclusivity, for example, not sleeping with or having sexual relationships with someone else? Or does it go much further than that?

For instance, would emotional intimacy with someone else, developing romantic feelings for another person, flirting, having a special bond with someone, hiding interactions from your partner, or deliberately seeking attention from other people also fall under “disloyalty” for you?

And what about situations where there is no romantic or sexual attraction whatsoever?

For example, would you consider it a form of betrayal toward your partner if you regularly listen to and help female friends with their personal or emotional problems? What if you become someone they deeply trust and rely on, even though you have absolutely no romantic or sexual interest in them?

What if you develop a special bond with another woman, talking to her frequently, sharing personal thoughts and experiences, having inside jokes, being emotionally available to her, or simply having a connection with her that feels different from your other friendships?

Would you see that as completely normal friendship because there is no attraction or romantic intention involved? Or could the level of emotional intimacy itself eventually become a form of disloyalty, even without love or attraction?

And let’s say you have female friends and one of them asks you to go to the cinema with her, just the two of you, knowing that you are already in a relationship. There is no group of friends involved, it’s specifically the two of you going together.

Would you personally consider that completely normal and appropriate within a relationship, assuming there is genuinely no romantic or sexual intention behind it? Or would you feel that going somewhere together one-on-one, especially somewhere like the cinema which can easily be perceived as a date, crosses a boundary when you already have a partner?

Would your answer change depending on the context? For example, if your female friend clearly has no romantic interest in you, if you know she does have feelings for you, or if you simply don’t know what her intentions are?

And would you consider your partner’s feelings about the situation relevant? For example, if your partner knew about the outing and was completely comfortable with it, would that make it automatically okay for you? Or would there still be certain situations that you personally would consider inappropriate regardless of whether your partner explicitly objected?

Would you think, “I’m not attracted to her, I don’t love her, and nothing sexual is happening, so there’s nothing wrong with this”?

Or would you think, “Even though there is no romantic or sexual intention, this level of closeness or this kind of one-on-one activity is something I should be careful about because I’m in a relationship”?

Basically, I’m wondering whether, for you, loyalty is defined primarily by intention, or whether the nature and intensity of the bond itself matters.

And more broadly, what makes someone “your partner” rather than simply a person you happen to love and spend time with?

Is there a specific commitment, mindset, responsibility, or set of boundaries that comes with that title for you?

For example, does being someone’s partner mean that certain forms of intimacy, physical, emotional, intellectual, or otherwise, become exclusive to that relationship? Or do you not necessarily see intimacy that way, and believe that different people can occupy different important places in your life without that diminishing your relationship?

I’m asking because I’m interested in understanding how INTPs conceptually define relationships, rather than just what they personally happen to do in one.

I’d especially love to hear from INTPs who can explain the reasoning behind their perspective, not just whether something is or isn’t cheating, but why you personally draw the line where you do.

I'd kiss myself, hug myself, get married to myself, have sex with myself and live happily ever after.

.

Problem/Goal:
Gusto ko lang sana maintindihan if communication incompatibility lang ba talaga ‘to, or if I unintentionally pushed someone away. I also want to know if may point pa bang intindihin ang isa’t isa or if this is something I should just accept.

Context:
I got really close with someone online. We developed mutual feelings, pero we never met in person because of personal circumstances.

At one point, I asked him if possible bang nagustuhan niya yung *idea* of me more than the real me, since hindi pa naman kami nagkikita. I wasn’t rejecting him or doubting his feelings. I was just trying to stay realistic.

Looking back, parang doon nagsimulang magbago yung dynamics namin. Since then, mas naging mahirap yung communication.

I’m the type na gusto pag-usapan agad at i-resolve yung misunderstandings. Siya naman, mas gusto niya ng space at ayaw ng mahahabang usapan. We still communicate, pero madalas parang magkaiba kami ng interpretation sa intentions ng isa’t isa.

Previous Attempts:
I explained that I wasn’t trying to invalidate his feelings.
I apologized if my question came across the wrong way.
I also tried giving him the space he asked for.
Pero until now, parang ang dali pa rin naming magka-misunderstanding.

If someone asked you that question, would you feel like your feelings were being doubted?
Can repeated communication issues slowly change how you feel about someone?
Or does this sound like two people who care about each other but simply communicate differently?

Sometimes my boyfriend sends me memes about things he likes to talk about but I find a little racist since it's about the middle east and I'm just like okay...and when he sends me his gym pics I would smile. So far I found our old pictures from trips most stimulating and makes me happy. Any advice on keeping the relationship fresh and going is appreciated! I'm a bad texter...

intp and infj in early 20’s. we dated briefly for a month after i had gotten out of a long relationship, i told him it was too fast and i got ahead of myself. we stayed friends but our friend group fell out after they found out and suddenly we had only each other and became fwb.

i spent the next year bouncing between whether i was ready or not to commit to something, especially because i was unsure of his lack of open interest in me. and now that i decided, he has told me that he’s starting his career soon and since the initial breakup he has been hesitant and feels like he is not “all in”. that broke me. i get him starting his career, but i was being vulnerable and communicating constantly, and i didn’t realize he had felt disconnected in that way.

now i feel like all the physical intimacy was just a means for him to get a fix. he said he still wants to be my friend and hangout (no benefits obviously), but idk how i can do that with so many lingering questions. i gave him an ultimatum in my frustration (date or just end the friendship, since i’m sure no future partner would be comfortable w us being friends and split us up eventually anyway). i wasn’t trying to force him to be with me, but i felt so doomed because the friendship was bound to end inevitably.

i don’t agree with that statement now and feel we can stay friends until it’s run its course, but i feel like something is wrong with me that makes me less interesting, and it brings doom in me to know that he may leave me and that i have put all of myself on the line and tormented myself over someone who was never going to be all in for me. ik it all sounds irrational. i just want to know it there is something i can do to remedy this. i don’t know how to be that person he was interested in in the beginning and how to give him hope to be “all in”. i feel like i ruined it and i miss being close.

TLDR: i ruined my chances w intp bcs i hesitated to date and now he wants to stay friends bcs he doesn’t see himself being “all in” with me. idk what to do or how to be “normal” and he has been more distant from me which is driving me more insane because i miss the closeness of our bond