If I see one more man in his late 30’s to 40’s with ‘still figuring it out’ on his profile, I may loose my actual mind

Like what do you mean ….. if you don’t know by now then your probs gonna die alone at this point.

At least be honest and say you just wanna get laid, and stop wasting time

Correct me if I'm wrong

I'm a female, have been using Hinge for 3 years, and have been told than my account has been banned yesterday all of a sudden.

The fun fact is, I haven't been using that for more than 2 months. Of course, I didn't do anything wrong against the policy. As you might know, it's hard for a girl to do something bad on/off the app.

I've appealed and sent emails several times but the only thing I could receive was just automatic language sayign your account will be remained banned "forever" lol

I'm living in a foreign country, so not many social community and chances. Hinge was only the platform I've been using and trusted. Soooo frustraiting and angry..

Im an anxious woman and what stresses me the most is that I won’t vibe with someone and my lack of assertiveness will make me sit through the whole thing.

Whenever I try to suggest FaceTime even short one sometimes jokingly men just DONT WANT TO DO IT. And they would never ever suggest it first. Just texting and meeting.

Thing is I am quite selective and the dates I’ve been on were fine, some very fun. But nevertheless a few I wouldn’t go on if we just a had a short call beforehand. Literally not even about the looks, just the vibe alone.

Why are men so apprehensive to do this not even mentioning initiating things like this beforehand?

Men Should Start a Movement to Swipe With Intention and Stop Harassing Women on Dating Apps

Men created the manosphere, Red Pill and Black Pill movements, spreading misogyny, resentment towards women, and lies about hypergamy and heightism. If men can organize movements around hatred, they can organize a movement that benefits everyone.

Imagine a movement where men stop blindly swiping right on every woman and start swiping with intention.

Women would no longer drown in hundreds or thousands of meaningless likes from men who haven't even looked at their profiles. A right swipe would actually mean something. Women could trust that a match represents genuine interest rather than another man who swiped right on everyone.

Add to that a movement encouraging men to stop sending unsolicited sexual messages, stop sexually harassing women, and treat women on dating apps with respect.

Imagine how much dating culture could change.

Women would feel safer, participate more enthusiastically, and approach conversations with more positivity and openness. Fewer women would leave the dating market, the gender imbalance on dating apps could improve, and everyone would have a better dating experience.

More women actively participating in dating would mean more opportunities for men to form meaningful connections, potentially reducing male loneliness as well.

Instead of teaching men to resent women, imagine a movement that actually improves men's dating lives while making dating better for women.

You don't need to be famous to start it. Any man, including you, could start it. Make posts, create videos, encourage other men to change their behavior, and spread the message.

Men have already proven that they can build massive movements around dating and gender relations. The ones existing now are built on toxicity and hate. Why not use the same collective power to make dating better for everyone?

Are men capable of doing something positive?

Be the man who starts that change.

...

P.S. A few facts worth knowing:

- Height: Only 22% of female online daters considered height very important profile information. There is no evidence that men must be 6 feet or 6'2" to date. Pew Research: https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/06/users-of-online-dating-platforms-experience-both-positive-and-negative-aspects-of-courtship-on-the-web/

- Swiping: Research from the University of Michigan's Revel platform found that men swiped right on 43% of profiles, compared with 14% for women. https://sites.lsa.umich.edu/revel/2025/09/11/whos-picky-and-when/

My question is, sometimes I send guys likes on hinge first, sometimes roses if I see him on standout, but like probably happens like maybe once a week or once a month and a lot of times guys usually text me first and then they initiate a date, but like I’m wondering like why someone won’t message you first, like they reply when I message them first, but like why won’t they message first? cause I feel like the ones that I have to message first, they usually don’t really have the initiative to like have dates in the first place, so like I don’t know, like I’m just thinking a lot lately about dating apps
Sorry if I have typos or whatever, cause I’m just voice typing right now

Hi! I'm a 42M in South Florida looking for advice on how to meet the right person as soon as possible.

I'm using Hinge, Facebook dating, and just signed up for a month of Tinder platinum tonight. I also just signed up for my first speed dating and lock and key mixer next week. I also have two social groups that I sometimes meet people I'm interested in. I also browse Meetup events sometimes.

I usually get about 2 quality dates per month through Hinge/Facebook but half the time I don't want a 2nd date and the other half they don't want a 2nd date.

How can I increase the number of first dates to improve my chances of great chemistry?

Should I continue what I'm doing, message people more in the existing apps I have, sign up for new apps like Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble, sign up for more speed dating events next year, pay for additional dating apps like Hinge, or try the $1,000+ match-making services?

I'm not in a rush to meet the right person but 4 years ago set a few goals:

1. To save up enough to retire and travel the world. I'm 11 months away from that goal but most people only get 3-5 weeks of PTO so I'm planning on traveling with my friends, family, partner, and some solo.

2. Get in shape. I hit that goal last year but would still like to lose another 10 pounds of body fat and gain 5 more pounds of muscle in 2027. I just travelled a lot recently and gained 7 pounds of body fat but am lifting 5 - 7.5 pounds heavier each week at the gym.

3. Find a life-long partner. This is my last goal. I feel like I'm on the right track and this just takes time. But would love to hear of any ideas to speed up this process.

My dating photos are good and my profiles say things like I enjoy fitness, sunny weather, exploring, traveling, snorkeling, kayaking, hiking, pickleball, comedy clubs, etc.

Please don't eat me alive like the last time I posted here. :) I did use all of the positive advice from last time. Thanks!

I get that most men mindlessly swipe right on everyone, then filter out when they match. Does this also apply to “top 10%” men? If so— why? They prob have the option to be picky.

MEN ARE SO EASY, IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. They are open to doing almost whatever you'd like them to, since men do not get to have the same standards that women have. Women can realistically have all the standards they want, because if one guy doesn't meet their requirements, they can always just move on to the next 10-20 guys waiting in line. For men, opportunities like matching with a woman come by very rarely, and if they give that opportunity up because that woman doesn't meet their standards, they're most likely never getting another chance like that again. Anyways, here are some simple tips that will greatly increase your chances of finding a man whom you truly feel connected with.

1. Message them first. If you like the man's profile and have genuine interest in him, I strongly suggest initiating the conversation. Forget the asinine stigma of coming off as "too needy" or "too masculine" for taking initiative. I speak for 95% of all men that men that we GREATLY appreciate it when women take make the first move, because it shows us that you know what you want AND that you're actively trying to get it. I IMPLORE you to try messaging the man first and see just how easy it is to not only to quickly get replies, but maintain a deep and fulfilling conversation with a man.

2. Control the conversation. YOU ask the questions, HE answers. YOU set the dates, HE follows.

3. Set your boundaries early. If you want a short-term fling, friendship, or a serious relationship, be sure to let the men know. Also, tell them that you will block them if they send you any creepy/perverted messages. Most of them will remain on their best behavior from then on.

And boom! You will now be successful on dating apps.

So, I’ve been using dating apps for a couple of months now and get a decent number of matches.

I wanted to see how my profile compares to other guys, so yesterday I switched my preferences to both men and women just to check out their profiles.

But, I suddenly started getting a crazy number of likes and matches, and they were all men.

For context, I’m straight btw, and I’m pretty sure most of these guys have their preferences set to straight too liked me.But Why?😐

I’m genuinely curious. How are they even seeing and liking my profile if they’re straight? 💀

If I get that much likes now imagine how many likes girls must be getting on these apps 💀 Now I kinda understand why some girls eventually get overwhelmed and delete their accounts😬

After being back in the dating scene after 7 years and being recently single, it has been incredibly difficult navigating the dating scene. The guys in my area are low quality, low effort, not friendly, don't approach, & its super aggravating. Its like no one wants to settle down and work towards a long term committed relationship, and was one of the reasons why I'm no longer with my ex. SMH.

Also, it feels like everytime I end up talking to a guy who expresses interest in me off of a dating app--he doesn't have the best conversation skills (with the exception of a few). Like the conversation is okay with some banter and humor--but then when I ask the guy about how his workday was going, what types of music he listens to, etc.--he didn't ask me the same question in return. He complimented me and everything, but that's it. Has anyone else experienced this? Also, how long do you normally talk to a guy before you meet up with him?

I am also finding that alot of profiles on Upward end up being fake so I don't know how anyone is able to connect with anyone on there. There are a few people every now and then on eHarmony, but that's it. Hinge is a joke. Are there any decent apps that are worth talking to someone on?? Im sick of this...

I just need to vent and hear what you all think. I (25f) have been on dating apps for longer than I’d like to admit. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Duet, all the big ones. I have my settings to all men right now, and I’m so disappointed by these profiles. I am convinced men are allergic to smiling at a camera. I think sunglasses have become a limb that they cannot live without. I think men must be afraid of seeing their own face in a photo. I do not give a flying fuck about how big your muscles are!!! I don’t care what your friends look like!!! I want to know what you look like! I want to know that you smile every couple of days, at least. I want to know that you express emotions. If you’re frowning or mogging the camera in every picture, or if every picture is a group photo and I can’t figure out which one is you, or if I only get to see the bottom half of your face, it’s a HARD pass. It’s the most annoying thing on the planet. Why????

Hi all. So, I love complaining about stuff but haven't had a chance to do so about men in dating apps cause no one in my waking life is on them, idk how they manage.

So here's a list of all my grievances, about men, their profiles, their pictures, etc.:

- (specific to Ok Cupid) When they write "can't see likes send intro". Hello? That's what swiping is for? No one on the free app can see likes! SWIPE!!!

- When all they do in their bios is say what they DON'T like about women. It always reads soo hateful too, like, do they actually like women?

- Why do they have SUCH BAD PICTURES. All the damn time. It's so icky to see a guy with a terrible mirror selfie and another one in his car with his tongue out. Or the famous group pics! I don't mind fish pics cause that's just a hobby? Sure it's the same one they all have but at least he has one?

-The bios. WHEN THEY SAY "JUST ASK" hellooooo????? The point of your bio is so that I can assess a little bit the type of person you are. Just ask is so boring and lazy! Not zero effort, NEGATIVE effort!

-This isn't so much about their profiles but a thing they do. Liking everyone without looking, and filtering AFTER they get a match. WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME. Don't find me attractive, PLEASE don't like my profile!

-Saying no fatties, no uggos, no this, no that. UM LOOK AT THE PROFILES AND LIKE OR DISLIKE ACCORDINGLY?

I'm sure there are more things that men do that annoy me, but that's all I can think of rn. Sometimes I wish I could leave comments and advice. To so many of them the advice would be therapy. Cause like, do you actually wanna be here? Do you actually like women? Do you really think those 3 picture that you took within this dating app showcase your best angle? DO YOU OWN A MIRROR?

IDK, feel free to tell me what you dislike about men or women on dating apps.

Tl;dr: men on dating apps are annoying.

EDIT: I knew men would say women do these too! Hahaha but I'm a straight woman swiping for men so that's what I comment on. FOR ME I don't like it so I don't do it.

So im back on the apps this late this summer after a bit of a hiatus and needless to say it is not going well. Well I did get a lot of matches at first at least (FB dating anyway where it's easier than the paid apps) I have a few apps running so I don't pay much attention to my pics as I should but on further review I did notice on FBD I was wearing a hat or obscured full head shots in all my pics...and I'm pretty far gone with the hair...aka bald AF. So I decided to throw up a super recent main selfie Pic of me (bald head promonitly displayed in front of a interesting new, soon to be famous, btw building) and it's been pretty much no new likes or responses from my previous matches in fact...some even dropped me mid conversation as well.

I guess I shouldn't be suprised that woman can be shallow and so judgy about looks... but I am taken aback as I have had better luck in the past with bald pics in my profile and I'm at the age where it is a bit more common (I'm in the divorced mom woman in there late 30s early 40s dating pool fyi).

I wouldn't say I'm bad looking, I stay in shape and have visible abs with adefined v shape etc...which has helped to some degree when I show that. Hate to use a scale but I'd give my self as a 6/7...maybe 8 to some not factoring in the baldness.

So basically I am curious how much of a penalty baldness plays to woman on these apps? So be honest now ladies is it like a 1, 2 or 3 point deduction? How much can it be overlooked? Would having hat on first pic help or is that a poorly played "gotcha" type tactic?

PS: I dont hang my head in shame about this I've lived long enough with it that it's not a factor in my day to day life or confidence life, but it is a little frustrating how it effects my dating life it's not like I can change it (Im well beyond transplant material) like overweight people can by taking a GLP 1 or working out.

46m, Guys in my area complain about hinge being no good, no matches, etc. That has not been my experience at all. I get new matches and likes almost every day. This is my first time online dating, I've been on for 3 week and I line up 3-4 dates a week and every date so far has wanted to see me again. It hasn't even been a month and I'm getting dating fatigue already. I'm juggling about a dozen matches at any time. I'm not particularly tall or handsome. I am fit but not jacked, I have all my hair and very little gray so maybe I'm above average for my age. I've tried to craft my profile to show interests and insights into my personality but my pictures legit suck, I'm working on new ones. I look for profiles that seem funny and crack jokes, sometimes drop dorky pickup lines. I'm even setting up one of my matches with a buddy while she sets me up with co-worker. So what is going on with these guys that they can't get matches?

I saw something recently about Asian guys are the group that gets swiped left the most.

Decided to jump back in the dating and decided to try hinge. I came across his profile and thought he was handsome. So I swiped right. We matched very quickly and exchanged numbers. After a couple of messages we decided to plan our first date.

I arrived first to the restaurant and was seated by the hostess. He arrived five minutes later. As he’s walking towards me, I noticed he’s shorter than what he said on hinge. His profile said 5’11 but when we stand next to each other we’re the same height(5’9).

The date when well and we have a lot in common. However, he has a child but didn’t mention children on his profile. When I went home that night, I looked him up on LinkedIn. On hinge, he said he went to Purdue. But his profile listed another university. He has a masters degree and is an engineer so I don’t know why he felt the need to lie about that.

We’re seven years apart. I just want to ask….why do men lie on dating apps? Should I continue talking to him?

I've noticed a rather strange pattern on dating apps. Almost every girl who matches with me seems eager to meet in person as soon as possible.

I'm not complaining about it, but I'm genuinely curious. Barely have we exchanged a few messages, and they're already suggesting that we meet. There's hardly any attempt to get to know each other over chat first.

Is this just how dating apps work these days? Do people generally prefer meeting in person rather than spending time texting, or am I missing something here?

Why am I finding men on lesbian only dating apps like they can not leave us alone

Don’t be fooled by the “Men want virgins” ideology ladies because it simply isn’t true. I’m a 30 year old virgin and got virgin shamed by men. One time I got a date from Tinder, I wanted a one night stand with him cause I desperately wanted to lose my virginity, then when he came over and wanted to have sex with me I told him that we should do it slow cause I’m still inexperienced virgin. When I told him that his behavior suddenly changed, he became mad that I didn’t told him before that I’m a virgin and if he had known that I’m a virgin that he wouldnt even come over cause he only loves experienced women. He was angry that I wasted his precious time and he began virgin shaming me, he said that I should be ashamed of myself that im still a virgin at that age and that I should already have banged alot of men, then he left without sleeping with me. I was shocked and devastated by his behavior, then the next guy I matched on Tinder I told him this time that I am a virgin, he was fine with it and when he came over he couldn’t get it up, it kept falling down and he said that he just cant F a virgin then he left. Then I decided one day to hire a gigolo, I thought they were more experienced and patient and know how to treat virgins, so I went to a gigolo website and send to a gigolo a message asking him if he could take my virginity, I wanted to book him for at least 2 hours so I waited for his response without a reply. Guess what? My friend who is not a virgin also send him a message and he did reply to her and she went to sleep with him. I became so sad and frustrated after all this that I decided to just become celibate and accept the fact that I’m a virgin femcel. I seriously hate men and their hypocrisy, they s..t shame experienced women yet they virgin shame virgin women too! Their hypocrisy and lies are huge! They lie that they love virgins, maybe in the past they loved them like 100 years ago but nowadays NOPE! I watched a podcast once where a man s..t shamed promiscious women and when a 33 year old woman told him she is still a virgin and still waits for the perfect man he looked at her with a weird and disgusted face and passively aggressive asked her if she is mentally ill because she is a virgin at that age. Yet he s..t shamed experienced women few minutes before that!! The hypocrisy in men is HUGE!!! They call us women complicated yet they are the complicated ones and don’t know themselves what they want!! If you are a non virgin you are a s..t, if you are a virgin you are a loser that nobody wants according to men. I’m ashamed that I’m a virgin and wouldnt tell my future boyfriend (if I ever find one) that I’m a virgin.

Something I’ve noticed on Bumble and Hinge is that it almost feels like it’s so easy for guys to find a nice girl. When I scroll through women’s profiles, I see so many gorgeous, smart, accomplished women who seem to have their lives together. But when I scroll through men’s profiles, I genuinely struggle to find even one person I’d want to go on a date with. It’s not that I’m expecting someone perfect, but it’s rare to come across someone I’m genuinely attracted to or whose profile makes me curious enough to want to know more about them.

It’s honestly becoming so draining. Every time I open these apps, I end up closing them within a few minutes, feeling disappointed and wondering why I’m even wasting my time. I keep hoping I’ll come across someone interesting, but the experience is almost always the same. It’s frustrating because I do want to meet someone, but the process itself feels so exhausting that I don’t even feel like trying anymore. Dating apps have started feeling less like an opportunity to find a connection and more like a repetitive cycle of opening the app, scrolling through profiles, feeling nothing, and giving up.

I don’t get it. What am I missing?

Did you know the cost for dating apps is higher for men? Did you know an average man may receive, maybe 1-2 likes a week even with a good profile while a woman receives 20+. And if he doesn't get YOUR like, there is no conversation.

Hundreds are men are just saying yes to all the women they can, to get 1 response for them to be able to initiate conversation.

My advice to you, is to look for the average men, with a decent profile and LIKE them so you get a response from more REAL men. You'll be able to quickly weed out the chaff with their replies "hey baby" etc etc, but you will get the diamond in the rough that actually has good intentions and will converse with you on a mature level, initiate a date, and so on.

Well it's been 2 days since I've got a like on bumble. Actually I had 6 but when I tweaked with the setting, by turning off the gender to only show females, the 5 profiles disappeared confirming this one is a girl (in the past 4 days of my online dating I haven't found a single like, let alone a match from a girl)

I also did the same tweaking with the age preferences, she was visible in my likes tab until I went below age 22 and confirmed she's 22.

Did the same with distance. She lives really nearby... Like under 2 km near.

But when I put all the settings that might show me her profile while I swipe, i don't see a profile that matches hers.

It was fine up to that point but now it says "You've seen everyone nearby, someone great could be just outside your filters"

And I'm like BALLLRIGHTTT....

I'm gonna wait for a few more days to see if bumble algorithm realises I'm not gonna spend money on it and show me the profile. I won't be surprised if it doesn't tho, coz all dating apps are kinda a scam anyway that plays on people's desperation, lust and loneliness.