I'm 24(NB).

I signed up for HER back in roughly April 2025. My love life was chaos and I ended up deleting my whole account in July 2025.

Then I re-downloaded it in November 2025. Had problems getting locked out by their shitty app, whatever, gave my ID and my selfie to verify. My ID is in my deadname because of government time logistics in changing it. Important for later.

The customer service at that time said that the sign-in problems were because my “account was accidentally duplicated” and they said they'd “delete the duplicate so I wouldn't have this problem again.”

Then I kept my account, but uninstalled the app off my phone. (Different than July 2025 when I deleted the whole account.)

Then re-downloaded it in March 2026. Tried to sign into my existing account. Locked out. This is the second time I've been having trouble getting locked out.

March 2026, their customer service claims I had been banned because of reports. I asked them over and over several times: “what reports? I had never had this problem before.”

I had to demand my data on grounds of EU rights before they suddenly decided that it was a problem with (say it with me) accidental duplicate accounts.

I went through the whole process again of giving my deadname ID, my name change documents, and my selfie in March 2026. Once again, forcing me to not only defend myself against false reports but to explain my deadname over and over.

This was the second time they claimed that they fixed the problem with duplicate accounts locking me out.

June 2026. Again, uninstalled the app to get my head out of that world, then re-downloaded it.

The. Same. Fucking. Problem.

Locked out. Again.

And I go back to them, saying, “you have claimed to fix this multiple times, I have proven my deadname and identity multiple times, can you please just fix the sign-in problem as you have claimed to fix it.”

Them: “We need your ID and selfie AGAIN to reinstate the account, we don't have them from March 2026 anymore.”

I double down and say that “this is no longer about the ID, it goes beyond that.”

After a bit of back and forth, I send an extremely long, but fair and non-aggressive (imo) email about their inability to actually follow through with fixing the same problem I've encountered multiple times and how traumatic it is that I have to constantly dig out my deadname and name documents just to access my account.

They ignore it. I request they re-read it.

Then: “It looks as though your profile was reported by members of the community for breaking our community guidelines. Your account will not be reinstated.”

No explanation, just straight ban because I called out the broken system and the re-traumatising of trans users.

The same fucking thing from March 2026 where they claim that I have been reported and given no reason why - despite the fact that in March they were wrong, and admitted it!!

And so, I am so unbelievably disgusted by a supposedly trans-safe place specifically designed to be trans safe re-traumatising and ignoring trans pain.

It is genuinely sickening that this kept happening and then the moment I call it out they claim I've broken community guidelines and just ban me because it's easier than acknowledging their broken system.

Where's the understanding? Where's the willingness to take feedback on board? Where's the want to protect trans users?

JFC.

I got tired of seeing the same no bullshit, “I know my worth,” generic dating coach language on dating apps, so I turned my profile into a complete parody of it. I kept the exact same pictures and only changed the bio and prompts. The weird part is that it worked. I’m getting around ten likes a day now, compared with maybe five or six a week before, which felt pretty normal for a 38 year old guy living in a rural area with a small dating pool. I think I have halfway decent pictures and consider myself above average looking, but my completely unscientific conclusion is that most women do not read your bio or prompts. They look at the first picture and decide. The ones who read mine either got the joke, completely missed it, or apparently agreed with everything I wrote. Nobody has been rude about it either. I figured someone would have called me a pig or sent a “Seriously, bro?” by now, but the conversations have been completely normal.

Anyway, I’m about to grab a matcha before meeting the boys for espresso martinis while we talk about traveling.

My bio
Modern man seeks a traditional woman. Must be independent, emotionally available, funny, attractive, successful, low-maintenance, and free whenever I am. You’ll plan dates, carry every conversation, communicate perfectly, probably pay, and remain mysterious. I know my worth. Serious applicants only.
Hopefully you’re also really into
Pursuing me intentionally while respecting my need to be chased at my own pace.
You’ll probably run into me at
The park or on a hiking trail, walking my dog and assuming every “Oh my God, he’s so cute” is about me.
We’d probably get along if
You’ve made it this far, got the joke, and thought “Unfortunately, I would probably like him.”

I get it, not in great taste but neither was the prompt. I appealed with Hinge and they promptly told me “no”.

Stupid to ask but I haven’t had any dates or action in 5 years. I just want SOMETHING. Is there anything for it?

So after seeing a bunch of Instagram ads for Duet, I figured id would give it a try as I’ve been single for a while and wanted back into the dating game. After making an account, I noticed within 2 days I had over 20 likes but I was not matching with any of them. Like a sucker, I bought the premium and realized most the accounts that liked me were several states away and never replied to my messages. At the moment, I was not feeling too discouraged as buying the premium account supposedly makes you “a 3.5 times more likely” chance to match. After two weeks, this is what my account looks like. Over 100 right swipes but no matches with any of them. TL;DR: Duet is a scam that steals your money with the idea your profile will be boosted to match but it doesn’t deliver. Save your 25$ and try something that works unlike me.

I have had so many instances where I send an opening message or question or cute playful comment to someone I’m interested in, and they respond by matching, but not answering the question.

What am I supposed to do with that?

Am I supposed to start the conversation again? Ask the question a second time? Send some other message for you to not respond to?

Seriously, help me out. How does this work? What exactly are you expecting me to do?

I’m just so done with Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, all of them. Everyone on there is either ‘not sure what they want’, or are just looking for casual flings and hook ups. I want an app where everyone is looking for their WIFE or HUSBAND and nothing in between. Let’s cut out all the bs. There are apps out there designed purely for hook ups so why can’t there be one designed purely for serious dating?

this only applies to people who are in a monogamous relationship, not a polyamorous one.

if you are already in a monogamous relationship and you have no plans to make it poly - PLEASE stay off dating apps. they are not meant for you. i don't care if you're only looking to "make friends", most people on dating apps use it for the purpose of finding someone to, well, date. you're wasting everybody's time and you're making it harder for someone who's looking for an actual relationship to find somebody to have one with.

they are called dating apps for a reason, they are not friend-finder apps. if you want a place to find friends, go on social media apps like Instagram or Facebook, or even Reddit. or, fuck, just go out into the real world and find somebody to be friends with. you're making it harder for us single folks who genuinely cannot find somebody to date in the real world to find somebody on these apps.

if you're in a polyamorous relationship and looking for another partner, that's fine and a completely different story. but Jesus, if you're not, just stay off dating apps please. you're wasting yours and everybody else's time.

And probably dating in our society overall?

As a male, I had my current bio for 2-3 months with about maybe 10-20 matches in that time of average looking women.

Three days ago I added an additional selfie picture of myself behind the wheel of a cabriolet sports car. In those three days alone, I got about maybe 10-20 matches of really gorgeous women.

It’s sad, but that once again reinforces to me the reality of online dating, which I sometimes forget. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

Hinge subscription expired yesterday and out of the blue I’m getting a few likes per hour from women and some of them are quite attractive

Same things happened when my bumble subscription expired. I had 100+ women like me in 24 hours but of course they were all hidden now and I couldn’t get these likes when I had the subscription

I just hate that it’s an algorithmic game at this point

Duet is one of those new gen dating apps and isn’t as popular as tinder or hinge but it’s becoming more popular and common for young adults. It’s a terrible app though for one huge reason. You can’t delete your account ever…. There’s an account deletion option that says it will delete all your messages, data, etc. If you use it, it will say good bye and log you out but you can…. Still log back in at anytime. Meaning even if you request to remove your account and they act like it has been removed it hasn’t. They keep your account active which is really messed up. I don’t believe pausing even actually pauses it either. It’s just like tinder but it’s 90% fake accounts to make it seem like there’s tons of handsome people out there. A lot of guys and girls are practically bots. Lots of real photos but fake accounts if that makes sense. It’s subscription as all dating apps is over priced and really changes nothing. I don’t even think people can see your praises or roses. Overall it’s a sketchy app and not very useful. 0/10.

I believe that if you have a male account, the apps purposefully never serve you the accounts of the women who "like" you. I have hidden likes on my apps, and even with daily swiping, that number never changes. So all this time, these accounts who liked me have never been served to me to swipe on.

So when guys out there scream and cry about never matching, I believe it is on purpose so male users are forced to buy a subscription to connect with accounts that like them.

That's my rant

Just checking in to see if anyone has had any success with Match.com. I have had several dates that ended up being Bots or broken profiles of people who were untruthful about who they were. Wish I could say "asking for a friend," but I am asking purely from the standpoint of: what am I doing wrong? What dating apps are all of you using, and what successes have you seen in meeting real people on these apps? I can't ask which one is best to use, but I'm more interested in the successes you've seen with some of them.

Does anyone agree?

It has great filter options that are free, hosts a social network style forum, and has features that seem to actually try to help you connect with people.

Too bad it's not more popular. I think Reddit should buy Boo.

I'm so sick of MS (Mass Swipers) as they are the Telemarketers of Dating Apps, flooding inboxes with messages and likes NOBODY WANTS. I wish dating apps would ban people from this horrid practice or give them sanctions such as ban for 24 hours when they swipe on people who DO NOT WANT THEIR DATING GOAL.

****This is critical people who read this post get, NOBODY WANTS THEIR TIME WASTED. YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO WASTE MY TIME BECAUSE OF WHAT "YOU WANT" IF I DONT WANT WHAT YOU WANT. LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE AND HAVE RESPECT FOR THEIR ACTUAL DATING GOALS! (I've heard the song and dance about how it's effective and no it isn't as more women drop dating apps over mass swipers than any other reason besides disrespect)

ALSO-I WILL NEVER SWIPE ON ANYONE WHO DOESN'T MATCH MY DATING GOAL and block anyone who disrespect what I WANT. ITS RUDE. ITS SELFISH. YOU ARE NOW A TELEMARKTER-SHOVING A SALE OF "YOU" I DONT WANT. CONSIDER THAT? I only hit on men who match my dating goals. Anyone else is an automatic BLOCK. So now imagine you think you're doing something mass swiping and a lot of us are BLOCKING YOU. Lol mentally I picture one man walking door to door and banging on women's doors going, "want me?" Haha I would never do this. I respect what men want as per dating goals and won't swipe if it doesn't match mine.

People on dating apps who don't read bios, compatibility or even remote tags like "Don't want kids" and "No casual Sex" among other critical dating goals who flood my inbox and everyone else's inbox so much, we give up and quit. It's not a compliment either. Also, the Inappropriate matches when you clearly state what you DO NOT WANT from people who swipe on you anyway.

To all the dating app owners, why don't you put on a block that won't allow anyone to swipe on your profile who doesn't match your major dating goals? Why don't you ban mass swipers off the apps as it makes people mad, wastes our time and makes people quit dating apps?

To people who are also SICK OF MASS SWIPERS and want something done about it, what really makes you mad about mass swipers the most?

Major examples:

You put monogamy and serious relationship or dating with intention. You also write no casual sex, no poly, no ENM (Ethical non monogamy) in your bio to make sure people know you want a commitment. There are dating apps dedicated to strange and unusual lifestyles and all dating apps want ONE PERSON per profile as per the rules. Couples are not allowed to share a profile on major apps. I report every single one of these couples who hit on me and I clearly state I want one man and am not into couples in my profile. It's harassment and UNWELCOME when couples do this shit. It's creepy to have a couple try to use me as a straight woman who never is into that, never will be into that lifestyle and state I don't want it. Pushing people's boundaries is harassment. It isn't cute.

Person who wants "casual sex", and "intimacy without commitment" swipes you. They get banned for a minimum of a day or something for doing this crap. It isn't fair to the person who DOES NOT WANT casual anything, to have these clowns swiping on you.

Mass swipers are the telemarketers of dating. They hit your "inbox" with junk mail you don't want.

nothing but static

I’ve never used Reddit before, but here we go.

I want to break down the reality of dating apps—specifically Hinge and Tinder.

All dating apps run on algorithms, and nothing about them is fair. The common saying that 80% of women only find 20% of men attractive is true, and the way these apps function only reinforces that.

For context, I’m a 6’2” Black 28-year-old living in London. I’d say I’m a decent-looking guy—not out of arrogance, but based on my experiences with women in real life. I’m an introvert, but I can hold a conversation when I need to. That said, I’d still rather stay home and play video games than go out all the time.

Now, here’s the harsh truth: If you aren’t getting likes on a dating app, you probably never will—unless you actively make yourself more attractive as a man.

•	If you’re short, hit the gym.

•	If you’re not the best-looking, improve your style.

•	If you struggle to talk to women, go on dates—even with women you aren’t necessarily attracted to—just to get comfortable having adult conversations and learning how to interact respectfully.

But here’s where things get even trickier: Even if you’re doing everything right, the algorithm is still working against you.

I’ve personally tested this. After a while, I noticed that my matches slowed down. But when I deleted my account and made a new one—or if I paid for a boost—I suddenly got way more matches than usual.

For example, I use Hinge more than Tinder these days since Tinder has gone downhill. Normally, I’d get around 10-15 matches per week. But when I bought Hinge X? That number jumped to 30+—with the same pictures, same bio, and same profile.

It’s clear that dating apps manipulate visibility to push men toward paying for premium features. And honestly, this entire system is making a lot of men insecure. Even someone like me, who’s generally confident, found myself questioning things.

We live in a time where dating apps are how many people meet, whether we like it or not. Some people can meet potential partners in real life, but for those who don’t go to bars or clubs—like me—that’s not always an option. And that’s fine.

But if you’re a man using these apps, understand that they’re designed to work against you. Maybe that’s why they’re free in the first place.

It reminds me of nightclubs—women get in for free, while men have to pay. And while that’s just how things are, you need to recognize that these platforms aren’t built for you to succeed easily.

So, if you’re struggling on dating apps, don’t assume you’re unattractive. The odds are simply stacked against you.

I’ve been there—it can become a bit of an addiction, constantly seeking validation. But if you can meet someone in the real world, that’s even better.

Don’t get sucked into these apps. They aren’t your friend. They’re a business designed to make money by exploiting the fact that many young men today seek validation online. Dating apps use algorithms that manipulate your experience, combining that with the current dating climate to keep you hooked.

It’s a cliche but find happiness within yourself not through apps.