Hi everyone, I posted here a few days ago because I was really deeply anxious about my next intercourse and I didn't know I'd I could do it or not.

Turns out I did and it was awesome, so I figured I would share what I did to get rid of PE.

It's going to be a long post.

First i'm going introduce myself a little bit :

I'm in my 30 and 4 month ago my 12 years relationship with my girlfriend ended, I don't think it was because of PE but I'm sure that it played a part in our breakup. For me it started right at the beginning of my sex life when I was 15-16, the first time I was intimate with a girl I didn't even went to penetration before cumming..

I always tried to work around this, using tricks that we all know like masturbating just before, pretending  I didn't cum and trying to stay hard a few seconds more just to save the appearance... well it was terrible.

Growing up my IELT could vary from a few strokes to 2-3min on the really really good days (there wasn't a lot of them).

4 years ago when my relationship was getting bad I tried to found a solution, went to a doctor who prescribed me some SSRI (Priligy). It helped me a lot, I was lucky to not have a lot of side effects. I took one a few hours before sex and I could have a normal intercourse (5-10min), however it didn't help in the long run because although it helped increase my IELT after I stopped taking it, it wasn't by much and soon it returned to what it was before...

So when I did breakup with my girlfriend 4 month ago, I decided that I was going to find a solution, without SSRI because i wanted to get rid of it completely and because the medication was so unpractical to take.

Luckily I'm a physiotherapist, with medical and anatomical knowledge, even though I'm not specialized in pelvic floor rehabilitation I already knew a few things and I could do some research for the rest.

When I do some rehab with a patient, the first thing to do is to make an assessment about what the problem is, what is or are the possible causes and what is the goal of the patient and how to get to it.

So after my assessment of myself (and I believe it will be similar to a lot of you) I identified 4 axis of training:

1. Behavioral 2)Musculoskeletal

2. Neurological

3. Psychological

So I'm going to explain what I did for those 4 point. And for putting things into perspective, today when I have sex I can go for 5min when I'm nervous to 15min and up if I'm able to relax. But where I improved the most is on my ability to delay my ejaculation even if it's just for 1 more min I can do it and do it repeatedly, which I couldn't do at all before. The only thing I still struggle with is the psychological side of things because being premature is still deeply engraved in me and I'm working on building confidence in myself.

When I say 5 to 15min it's of penetrative sex without stopping my thrust (so without a change of position or some tricks to delay), and with some hard pounding when I feel like I can.

Alright now let's go with the first point.

1. Behavioral

There are three things to address, masturbation habits, sexual habits, and what I would call lifestyle habits.

I won't explain too much about masturbation because there are already a lot of thread on this subreddit talking about it (like the 66days fap training). However I'm going to explain briefly what I did and why it would help.

So just like the training mentioned above I bought some kind of fleshlight, I think it's primordial to have one if you want to get rid of PE especially if you're single. Because the fleshlight IS your training ground, it's where you train, you experience and learn about your body and how it behave.

I started with simple masturbation, then when I could last longer or be in better control of my arousal I practiced by thrusting inside of it like I would in a girl.

The important thing isn't really how long you can last, it's control, if you can delay your ejaculation while approaching PONR and keep masturbating/thrusting for a few more min, it's a win.

Most men that don't have PE have this ability to delay that we don't, the issue is that for them their body do it unconsciously and they can't really explain it except "think of something else". For us we have to be self conscious and figure out how to do it.

So first I want you the next time you masturbate to focus on what is going on in your body, where are you tense, where are you relaxed where do you feel pleasure and where it's uncomfortable.

Most likely it's going to be tense around your abs, glutes legs and pelvic floor muscles but you might have your own area of tension so experience with it !

To simplify, your muscular tension and pelvic floor tension is your "arousal scale", when it goes to 10 it trigger PONR.

Why? Because your muscular tension can be a physical translation of the level of sympathetic activity in your nervous system, the same way that your breathing and heart rate are.

So those are the key to keep it under control during masturbation, breathing, muscular tension. I could elaborate a bit more but I'm never going to finish this post if I do (feel free to ask more questions in the comment, or I might edit this post at a later time).

A few things that can help : Deep belly breathing, search for 4-7-8 breathing (it's used for anxiety crisis onset and can lower hart rate a bit faster). For relaxing your muscles I recommend PMR (progressive muscle relaxation) you can do it during sex for the PC muscle specifically but you have to do preemptively because contracting your PC can trigger PONR if you are too high on your arousal so I recommend experiencing with it during masturbation.

A weird thing to do is focusing on your jaws: studies show that clenched jaws directly relate to deep muscle tone in your body, so it can act like a barometer, especially with your pelvic floor which can be hard to really feel sometimes. If you notice that your jaws and necks muscles are tensed, relax them, most likely the rest of your body is contracted without you noticing.

Now during sex, the same principle applies, breathing and muscular tension.

So there are a few things to keep in mind, as I said muscular tension = sympathetic activity = faster ejaculation, if you start your intercourse while being tense you are going to pop of instantaneously.

You need to chose when and how you begin, the issue is that when you are scared about cumming the insertion is the most critical moment.

For me it can decide if I'm going to last 5min or 15, because if I begin the intercourse on a 7/10 on my tension scale because I'm anxious (still happening a lot, I'm working on it) it means I'm going to have to delay my ejaculation and relax as soon as I hit 8 and it's going to be way harder than if I begin relaxed because if I begin at 6/10 I have still some margin to do stuff as I want.

I know it's kinda hard to evaluate your tension and arousal like that but the more you are going to pay attention to your body during masturbation and sex, the easier it will get to rate.

Same way for positions, missionary is a no go for me to begin intercourse, I can do it later if we feel like changing and I feel like it's okay if I cum now but I'm never starting with it.

What I like to do is beginning really slowly laying down in the spoon position, starting just with the tip of my penis while I keep the shaft in my hand. It allow me to move my dick inside the entrance of her vagina, rubbing it and stimulating her with different angle. It helps to get used to the feeling, help her lubricate and built up HER arousal, and it help ME keep control of mine because when you begin to insert your dick you are bound to get excited. Then I will progressively go deeper, not faster but deeper until I feel confident that I can accelerate. I'd say I spend at least 1-2min doing this.

Now, how to thrust : you need to thrust with your pelvis, absolutely don't clench your butt or try to push your dick inside. You need to glide it inside with your pelvic tilt.

You don't even need to thrust that hard with your butt to go fast or deep, if you train to tilt you pelvis correctly you can do the same with minimal muscle activations, so it allows you to relax your body while keeping the stimulation.

Another way to do it is to do circular movements instead of just back and forth. Think of what you would do while doing some hula hoop, it helps relaxing your abs and glutes by making them work in alternance while you move side to side.

This is it for the "Behavioral" side of things, there is more to talk about like how and where to focus your attention but I will talk about it in the "Neurological" and "Psychological" chapter.

Last thing, because as I'm a physio and I'm used to use evidenced based practice what I did to train myself was based on a lot of papers using Google Scholar and pubmed, so it doesn't really come from nowhere or my innate talent at understanding myself and sex (I have other talent but not this one or I wouldn't have had this problem in the first place I guess).

For exemple when I recommend some kind of fleshlight, there was a program that showed statistically significant result by using a fleshlight and exercises such as doing RK while stimulated and identifying area of tension in your body and relax them when you approach PONR to keep urge to ejaculate at bay. It showed x7 IELT when IELT was inferior to 1min at start of program, and x2-3 when it was superior to 3min at start of program.

However I'm careful with those results because the study was backed by the company producing the fleshlight, so it's like Phillip Morris telling you that heated tobacco is good for you.

Next is the musculoskeletal aspect of training that I did and I believe is important for anyone having PE, I will talk about flexibility training, why it's important and why a lot of people recommend some kind of "split training" apps. And because of what I do for a living it's kind of my thing explaining that to you.

2)Musculoskeletal

So first thing first because I see a lot of debate in this sub, Kegel or Reverse Kegel ?

Well both, but with a different goal.

About Kegel, it is used in issues such as incontinence for men and women after pregnancy or prostate surgery, when aging etc. The thing is, incontinence and PE have a lot in common, both in the Muscular and Neurological side of things.

For exemple, in some cases of incontinence (mostly on overractive bladder if i remember correctly) electrical stimulation of the tibial nerve can be prescribed and show good result.

There was a study that tried to do the same with PE, and showed that an electrical stimulation of the tibial nerve did statistcally significantly improve IELT. Why the fuck does an electrical stimulation of a nerve somewhere near the ankle improve both IELT and Continence ?

Well researcher didn't properly identified the exact mechanism, but by afferent signal from the tibial nerve, the body is able to inhibit muscle spasm from the pelvic area such as bladder spasm (Overractive Bladder and Incontinence) AND Bulbospongiosus and ischiocavernosus (which are part of you PC muscle that trigger emission phase of your ejaculation).

For educational purpose I tried it a bit because I have a TENS and it did was harder for me to reach PONR while masturbating, however i don't think the results would be lasting after the end of the program, there wasn't any follow up assessment in the study.

Now back to Kegels, and guess what, Kegel do have that ability to inhibit muscle spasm by stimulating your PC muscle. The important thing is how you do them, what you want to train isn't some kind of strength and hypertrophy like you would by lifting weight in the gym, what you want to train is the Neurological side of musculation and strength training, you want to train that mind-muscle connection and the number if fiber recruited by a single contraction.

So what you want to do is slow contractions, and focus on the quality of them, absolutely don't do hard Kegels just focus on being in control of the contraction. It's perfectly normal that you experience some twitching in your bulbospongiosus at first when you start to isolate it. Let's talk about bulbospongiosus and your levator ani, more commonly called PC muscle.

Anatomically both muscle work in conjunction to help purge your urethra after peeing and close both anus and urethra, your Levator Ani is composed by your PC muscle (Pubococcygeus) and by the Puborectalis.

When you do "Back Kegel" this is actually your Levator Ani contracting so both the deep front part and the anal part. However the levator ani (especially the front part, the PC muscle) also close your urethra and propel your semen during ejaculation.

When you do "Front Kegel" and pull your penis in you actually only contract your Bulbospongiosus, it's purpose is to assist erection, purge urine and propel semen in conjunction with your PC muscle.

Now, only two of those have an effect on your ejaculation, however as the PC muscle and Puborectalis are deeply connected and innerved by the same nerve more or less, i don't think it's possible to separate the contraction of the two.

As both the levator ani and bulbospongiosus act and procure pleasure during ejaculation it is important to be aware of the two of them.

When you do a reverse Kegel you only actually stretch and forcefully relax your levator ani. It is really hard to relax your bulbospongiosus by doing the same thing, the only way is to do a RK with a really big forced lordosis and even with this it is really poorly effective .

Because the ending of your Bulbospongiosus is around the shaft of your penis it's like if you wanted to relax your tongue. You can't do it by stretching because it's loose in your mouth, you have to let go of the contraction and let it rest against your lower teeth.

That is why it is important to train the mind muscle connection of your bulbospongiosus as well as your Levator Ani muscle, so you can contract or relax both when you have to.

I think everyone of us will have a specific weakness and it's important to get better at knowing ourself so we are able to figure out what is our own.

You can for exemple do one 6sec Kegel and then relax completely, 10sec RK right after to get a stretch. I can't recommend you a frequency or a number of time a day to you because I can't assess the state of your pelvic floor, but if you feel that you lack control of your PC muscle, this is how you do them.

Absolutely don't do Kegel at all if you have hypertonic pelvic floor dysfunctions (deep pelvic pain, pain after urinating or ejaculation), those who have this will know what I'm talking about.

There is a common misunderstanding with muscle tighness, people and even some therapist still think that a tight muscle is an overactive and too strong one. The truth is that a tight muscle is week as fuck, it spasm when it contract because his range of motion is shit and he doesn't event really need to contract because he is completely atrophied. And when you stretch it without training that contraction and that mind muscle connection, it's like overstreching a climbing rope, it lose all its elasticity and that ability to rebound to help with your fall. So it still spasm and still don't contract the way it's supposed to.

This is why it's important to incorporate some Kegel in your routine, the frequency is free but you need to at least train that mind muscle connection, it will help you and increase the awareness of your pelvic floor, the more you are in control of your PC muscle, the easier it will get to feel when it is tense during sex and the eaier it will be to relax it. This is called proprioception or interoception and I will talk about that it the Neurological chapter.

Another thing, muscle elasticity is directly enhanced right after a contraction, this is used in manual therapy to relieve muscle spasm and muscle overactivation in all of the body. This is why doing a 10s RK after a 6sec Kegel is so beneficial.

When you feel that you gained sufficient control you can even do it during sex to tone down your arousal by doing a RK right after a Kegel. HOWEVER, be really carefull to have sufficient control by doing it and do it when you are sufficiently low on your arousal level because kegeling during sex can easily trigger a spasm or make you reach PONR if your are already not too far from it.

And, even if I'm not too fond of overdoing them, kegel regimen of training did improve IELT in various papers, however I believe that it is related to that enhanced awareness and mind muscle connection, not because of a possible increase of muscle strength and tonus.

Now about Reverse Kegels, absolutely do them, do them a lot, you need to stretch that thing and LEARN HOW TO STRECH AND RELAX YOUR PC.

It is both about gaining range of motion and learning how to release an unwanted or reflex contraction.

So two way to do them, first the stretching way :

The best way to get a stretch is by doing them in a deep squat position, also called Asian Squat. If you are to tight to do this, you need to train this posture, it can be challenging more your tibial muscles, ankle hips and glutes, stretch those. Google the pose, there is a lot of videos that teach you how to do it.

You want to tuck your elbows between your knees and really focus on expanding your pelvic floor toward the ground. It's easier to do it while breathing in because your diaphragm will push all of your viscera against your pelvic floor. Once you are comfortable with this try to keep the stretch when you breath out as well by tightening your abs and do an "active push" toward the ground (like you want to poop).

Try to do this pose for at least a minute, multiple time a day. As this isn't really an intense stretch, there isn't any risk of injuring yourself or overstreching. But don't push too hard either and keep breathing slowly and deeply.

If you shit yourself, good job brother, you stretched yourself, go wipe and be proud of yourself. (I'm joking, don't shit yourself please)

To target the front side of your PC a bit more, so bulbospongiosus (doesn't change that much but it can help train awareness), you can do the same by doing it in the Child Pose, or Reclined Butterfly Pose with a pillow on your lower back to increase your lordosis a bit and get a small abs strech (I like that one, really help to relax, Google them).

Now, the second way to do RK is to focus on your ability to relax it or stretch it while it is contracted (this is called an active stretch). The thing that you have to know is that your PC muscle is bound to be active in certain positions, like missionary, because your pelvic floor doesn't just act like a sexual organ or in Continence, but it help stabilize your pelvis and hips when your body is in motion, this is partly why missionary can be a bit struggling at first.

Another thing is that some of your muscle in the pelvic floor are really close structurally with your transverse abdominis muscle, this is why tightening your abs during sex can increase your tension and arousal.

So if you want to do it because you like it or your partner like it, I recommend doing it on your elbow, lying down on her (or him, let's be inclusive), flexing your knees and hips a little bit so your abs are less tense and your pelvis is free to move.

Okay, back to Reverse Kegels, I talked about missionary because to gain that control over how relaxed is your pelvic floor you have to train it in challenging positions like this one. So first try it in all the possible sexual position that you can think of in solo, try to do a small RK by doing the plank for exemple.

It doesn't need to be long or deep, you just need to aquire the skill to do it and be able to do it when you want to.

Then if you have a fleshlight, same thing, do it while stimulating yourself in different kind of position, if you don't have one I think you could do it while masturbating as well.

Next of course is trial during sex, I don't recommend doing RK without a reason during sex because you are going to tense your abs if you do it while breathing out and that can increase your tension too much. Do it while slowing down your trusting if you feel you need to cool down or do it with your diaphragm pushing down without contracting your abs too much on a deep breath in. You can do the 6s Kegel 10s RK as well, experience with it some things might work better for you than others.

Ok this is it for Kegel and RK, now I'm going to talk about flexibility training and why it is beneficial to do it like the "Split training app" recommendation.

There isn't a lot of science based papers about flexibility, however there are a few about Yoga and the way it can improve the state of PE.

40 min a day of different yoga postures (especially stretching and breathing posture) statistically significantly improved IELT of participant of the study.

Posture were aimed at lower body, abs and back stretching mostly. I myself didn't really practiced yoga, but I took it as an exemple to make myself a stretching regimen and incorporate a few poses from the couples studies that I read.

So why does it work ? Because the body is one big intricate structure. For exemple if you have lack of flexibility on your hamstring, most likely you will have a lack of flexibility on your hip flexor (especially your psoas), this can cause lower back pain because your hamstring are pulling your pelvis from the back and your hip flexor are pulling it from the front, causing your hips and lombar spine to have reduce range of motion (this is excessively vulgarised for the sake of convenience)

And the same thing applies with your pelvic floor, if for exemple you lack range of motion in internal rotation of your hips, your obturator internus is going to be tight, and turns out that your PC muscle have a shared insertion with it. So a tight obturator internus will directly tense your PC muscle by pulling on it, and you can do as much RK as you want it will get better but it will still pull on it and tighten it because you didn't adress all of the problem.

So I began a pretty extensive stretching/yoga regimen because I kinda took pleasure in it. But if I had to focus on a few muscle it would be those one :

Obturator Internus : We all tend to lack internal rotation of the hips and it gets worst as we age because this isn't a movement that we tend to do often. And as I said, shared insertion with your pelvic floor and PC muscle

Piriformis: Often super tight muscle in a lot of people, this is one of the main muscle causing back or sciatic like pain. The thing with this one is that it can restrict your hips movements a lot and even more importantly he is crossing with the obturator internus 3 important nerves, the pudendal nerve which is responsible for a looot of things sexually related and motor innervation of nearly all your pelvic floor muscle, the oburator nerve and the sciatic nerve. So you really want to stretch those two to get range of motion AND to free up space for your nerves to function properly because pudendal irritation or partial entrapment is a known cause for ED and PE. Be careful if you are a cyclist aswell because pudendal nerve irritation happens a lot in this case due to the prolonged sitting position with something pushing directly on your pelvic floor like that.

Hamstring , Glutes, Psoas and Adductors:

Those four are responsible for lack of pelvis mobility, pelvic tilt is the more cost effective way to thrust during sex, even if it doesn't really affect your pelvic floor that much, having a relaxed pelvis and lombar spine help you breath deeper during stimulation, allow you to more effectively relax your PC muscle and every area of tension you would have during sex. And the more relaxed you are the less sympathetic activity your body will have.

Tight psoas can be really uncomfortable during stretch so be carefull not to overdo it.

When you stretch your hamstring you can do either both at the same time, or one at a time. The benefit of doing both at the same time is that it's going to improve your lumbar spine mobility which will further help your pelvis movements, however it's harder and more painfull. You can do it without ankle flexion (by grabbing your heels if you can reach them or by not grabbing anything) this will really focus on your hamstring, or you can do it with ankle flexion which will help mobilize your sciatic nerve (you can add some flexion and extension of the neck to do some kind of sciatic nerve flossing), because as nerves aren't as flexible as muscle, if you have some long going hamstring flexibility issues, you have to be carefull not to irritate your sciatic nerve because it's length will not increase as fast as your muscle will. This can help in the long run.

For the Adductors I think a simple butterfly pose will help, just targeting the small groups of abductors, the long ones that reach as far as the knees will not have that much of an impact regarding our problem, I stretch those when I feel like it but not often.

ABS stretching:

Tight abs restrict deep belly breathing especially in position when your legs are straight, like missionary or standing up with your knees straight. Tight abs can also increase intra abdominal pressure, that's why it is important to relax them, because if you have tight abs and tight pelvic floor your diaphragm will push your viscera on all the walls of your abdominal cavity. What this will do is increase pressure on your organs, bladder... and your prostate. And I didn't talked about it but the first phase of ejaculation before emission (the PONR and the rhythmic contractions of your bulbospongiosus), is related to intra prostatic pressure. So I didn't read any paper about this specifically, but if we think about it in a logical way, increased abdominal pressure is defacto equal to increased prostatic pressure which will accelerate phase 1 of ejaculation.

So stretch your abs.

I recommend Serpent Pose, Scorpion Pose to get some little psoas stretch with it, or The Bridge if you can do it (a bit challenging). If you have a yoga ball this is great aswell !

When you do those pose, try to do deep belly breathing so you can feel your diaphragm pushing down everything against your abs to make the stretching a bit more intense.

The secret to stretching isn't the intensity but the regularity, as muscles tend to go back to their original length pretty fast, the stretches need to be between 30sec (less isn't helpful) to 2-3min. The time to stretch and how often is a subject of debate for maaany years now there is some article about it nearly every year. But still the key is regularity, don't overstretch, you can do it every day if you want but not the same muscle two day in a row (for exemple day 1 : glutes OI piriformis adductor, day 2 :hamstring, psoas, abs. Day 3 repeat)

This is it for part 2 I guess, I think this is where I improved the most because I had a reaaaly bad obturator internus tighness in the beginning and it helped me relax a lot on a daily basis and be way less stiffed during sex which further helped me control my pace and my ejaculation.

So you can do those stretches if you feel that this can help you, or just sign for a yoga class, the goal here is to improve your flexibility and pelvic floor health which in turn will help your sexual well-being like it did for me.

I also recommend you doing some cardio training or a physical activity of some kind but concerning PE its more related to the effect of sports on the nervous system and I will talk about it next with what I did to try to improve my parasympathetic activation as much as possible. (Meditation, split cardio training to improve my vagal nerve response to stress... yeah I went pretty far, I'm kinda autistic when I focus on something and I should have done it a long time ago...)

Turns out this post is to long, you can find the rest of it here :

What I did to get rid of PE (PART 2)

******* Latest Update December 13th 2020 *******

PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END BEFORE TRYING THE ROUTINE OR BEFORE ASKING ANY QUESTIONS.

Allow me to explain myself a little bit more and i apologize for my english cause english isn't my 1st language.

First and foremost, im not trying to advertise any product and im not trying to tell the story of my life here, like most of you guys i am a long time PE sufferer, i didnt know how important sex was until i reach 21 and girls started leaving me because of my performance.

To overcome your PE case, you will need to do the 66 days fap-trainning without Orgasming/Cumming and without PORN. Dont COMPARE this trainning to stop-start, the point is to stay as far away from orgasm as possible., we have to stay away from PONR. My theory is based on my own experience and just common sense, we have been trainning our bodies to cum quick, this has become some kind of habit or reflex programmed into our bodies, and scientifically speaking, you need at least 66days to get rid of an habit or a reflex developped overtime, so i tried it, it's all about getting rid of an habit by replacing it with a new one, The habit of lasting 20+min

In order to do this trainning you will need:

Water based lube,

a sex toy (i recommend the doc johnson mood exciter, because that's the one im using) or your hands, its ok

your own room and privacy

Breathing from the core/belly

AND you have to be strong cuz you are used to cumming quick or to cumming in general, so not doing so might be hard at the beginning....I dont have to tell how to masturbate, yall know how the deal goes, and i wont give too much details but im on the 23rd day now and it's already working, so i felt inspired to share it with you guys we've been fighting PE for too long now

BUTTTT before you start jerking off like crazy, i want you to take 5 min just to get an erection and you MUST try to keep the erection for the whole 5 min without too much stimulation..Get the erection first, masturbate slowly without lube or fleshlight to maintain that erection...dont forget to breath from your belly...after the 5 min you can produce with lube or the fleshlight...do this every trainning, no exception, NO CHEATING, if you do that you will learn how to slow things down and to not get overexcited and it's part of the "get rid of the i gotta cum reflex"....and please do this without porn or pics

1--Its very important to learn how to breath from the belly, because it will help you with controling the contraction of our pc muscle, one of the cause for pe is that we became so used to contracting our pc muscle involuntarily in order to come faster that it became like a second nature thing...in order to reduce of get rid of this reflex we have to avoid contracting our pc muscle after peeing, and start doing some pc muscle relaxation trainning to make relax, i dont believe in KEGEL, it doesnt work to be honest, we have been flexing this muscle too much, now it's to learn to relax it voluntarily. While getting stimulated or fapping try breathing into your belly while pushing out your pc muscle, like if you are trying to pee, this how you learn to relax the pc muscle voluntarily, push out lightly, dont strain yourself, dont push your ass like you're trying to do number 2, push towards the front like you're trying the number 1...Do this step for the whole entire session, dont ever stop tring to relax your pc muscle and dont stop breathing

2-- Try to do your trainning session in the night or at a time you know you will not be interrupted, we actually have to make each session last 15-20min. The thing that work for me was to start masturbating slow and then going faster as you get used to the sensation session after session, take your time, try to feel every sensation, go as slow as you want, if you come that's okay, but try not to, stop when you feel it's too much and proceed as you feel ready to.

3- Last but not least, it's all about repetition, try to do the trainning everyday until you get used to the sensation, it's all about getting a new habit (lasting 20+min) replacing the cumming fast habit, until you learn how to relax the pc muscle voluntarily(sometimes i flex it involuntarily anyway, so dont be too hard on yourself)...try to cum every 10 days to having too much build-up of semen, and the relieve the stress and to build confidence in yourself with the condition that you can cum after the 20mins...Try not stay in one position, you can start with you laid on your back and standing up, and while sitting, on your knees just like if you were having sex, at first avoid thrusting with the hip, just move your hands or fleshlight.

4-One thing i have to point is Performance Anxiety, when i started the trainning i could cum literally by seeing the fleshlight, this was overwhelming, Performance anxiety was a huge factor giving me PE..dont worry, eventually as you get better you will start building up confidence, and your performance anxiety will be less noticeable, trust me

5- And please, monitor your progress, write down on a notepad, the date and how much you last, i want you to write even when you ejaculate, try to ejaculate every 6 to 10days of trainnng...Listen well, if you feel like it, try to ejaculate every 6 to 10 trainning days, Keep in mind that when you take a day off, it doesnt count as trainning day, in order words you can cum every 6 to 10 trainning sessions..dont cheat...download some type of timer app, to monitor how long you last obviously...and one more time, stay off the porn, i really mean it, porn is bad for your mental health

The reasons why im sharing this trainning with you guys, it's because i've had success, now im able to masturbate with fleshlight for 24min straight, before i couldnt...Last saturday i had a girl give me head and i was so used to a more stimulating sensation like the fleshlight that i wasnt able to cum by her giving me head, and she even ride me like a horse for like 8min after a 30min blowjob before i could come, before i couldnt do that, i was soooo fucking happy, i was so calm and confident, and i felt like i was used to greater sensation so head wasnt triggering the "im about to cum feeling". before i used to cum just by her licking it..it was sad

Well as you know, im still going thru the trainning myself, i have 23 sessions so far, with days off of course. Taking breaks is important because remember, this is a trainning for the whole body including your mind. I still have a lot of sessions to do but i can see a bigggg difference between now and when we started. I have been fighting against PE for danm long time, i am determined to make it stop, numbing cream wont do it, supplement wont do it...Only your MIND and your BODY can do it...So together let's retrain our body in thinking that cumming doesnt have to be mandatory when being stimulated. let's fap without ever reaching the PONR

EDIT: November 30th 2019 -- session 52nd

SO I HAD SEX YESTERDAY AND IM PROUD OF MYSELF GUYS....

Now, im currently on my 52th session, only missing 14 sessions more to complete the whole routine, and im telling you guys to stick to the training, dont get discouraged.

To some of you guys who asked me if i had sex while i was doing the training, the answer was yes, since i started the training i had a sex encounter like 3 times yesterday being the 4th, and out of those 4 times i did good on 3 of them(the 3rd time wasnt tho), how was that possible?? Let's give some credit to our routine first and foremost, and lets also appreciate the fact that i learned from the mistake i made on the 3rd attempt(i got too excited and i forgot to breath and to keep my pc muscle relaxed, i blame performance anxiety for that, i gave her a strong 4min tho)...so this time i did it differently, i didnt force myself to breath deeply, i didnt try to relax my pc muscle by force and the thoughts of orgasming didnt even cross my mind(at the start of the act at least), so in order words, i just let my MUSCLE MEMORY take over....she gives good oral sex, so i wasnt thinking too much, i was just enjoying while looking at her face; she was throwing it back at me, i was just receiving it and i was slowing her down when i felt the need to, and speeding when i felt like it; i even did missionary guys, and any of my sexual partners know that the missionary position is my weakness, i couldnt last a second in missionary before...the most surprising thing is that my pc muscle was pretty much relaxed the whole time, but i ended orgasming because danm, seeing the look in her face while she was riding me was too much for me, i didnt pay attention to the time but i can bet money that this was at least a 30min+ long session minimum.

So the reason why my 4th time was so successful was because:

1- I was able to control my anticipation, therefore also my performance anxiety. 2 - I let muscle memory take over. 3 - I didnt force myself to breath or to relax my pc. 4 - I was just enjoying the moment not minding if i would cum or no. 5 - The condom actually helped me with the sensation, w/o that i'd be a daddy right now hahaha. And because the training is giving me results, which im proud of.

So guys, with that being said, we've won several battles until now but we didnt win the war yet, so stick to the routine and do not quit, if i can get results, you guys can too and believe me; my pe was severe. Even after completing the training, you might still always have ups and down, who cares? Even the best players of the game have their ups and downs sometimes.

Please feel free to post any progress you are having, that way we can keep ourselves and everybody motivated. Blessings.

EDIT: Dicember 12th 2019 -- 60th session

SO I'M ONLY MISSING 6 SESSIONS AND I HAD SEX AGAIN

Don't blame me guys, it seems like she liked the previous session so she came back, this time I did well again BUT I did realize that there are some positions that we did where I couldnt relax my PC muscles no matter how hard I tried so I had to stop more often or I felt that I was getting too close to the ponr too often, specially the ones where i had to support too much of my weight. So I didn't last as long as the previous session, but that doesn't make it a loss for us, don't you even worry guys .

My only advice for you is to try to learn how to control/relax your PC muscles in different positions, because the same thing was happening to me at the beginning, up until now ME personally I always do the "on my feet" "on ma back" kind of positions when I'm practicing cuz I feel like I'm have more control and I do know how to relax my muscles in these positions w/o a doubt, so I'm gonna try to do different positions now like "on my side" "on my knees" or "leaning forward" kind of positions(I don't know the names, sorry) , positions where I have to support the weight of my body a lil bit more so I can learn how to control my PC muscles in those cases, to avoid getting overwhelmed...like I did today.

I wouldn't say that this encounter was a loss cause I did make her cum and I passed my 20min mark, of course, the only problem is that I couldn't last long in certain positions and I need to work with that. Blessings.

EDIT: January 4th, 2020 -- 66th session

So, i have completed this routine guys and I can definitely say that my theory is partially right, this can actually help with PE to the point that you can last longer than you ever did, I can last both in sex(12min+) and masturbation(30min+). Pay attention, I didn't use the word "cure" because deep down I can feel the feeling of wanting to orgasm early everytime I start having sex or masturbating, if I don't start carefully that is; this might be because my brain is still used to the feeling of wanting to ejac every time Im receiving pleasure I guess, I guess 66days is not enough to fully condition your brain and that's what I wanted. In other words, the routine was successful , the fact that I can fuck for 10min+ with normal speed while varying my strokes is quite okay, but I want more; so while you guys are still going through the training I have some key points for you that will make this routine better , keypoints that would've been very useful to me if i'd thought about them since the beginning:

1- Get used to masturbating at a fast pace, so don't always go slow, you have to learn to vary your speed sometimes so you can get used to different types of stimulations, I mean, while staying away from ponr , I recommend you to go fast for like 5 to 10 secs or longer if you can every once in a while so eventually you can incorporate that during sex. I'm giving you this advice because every time my sex buddy would tell me to go harder, I couldn't go for longer than 10secs, I was able to last for a long period at normal pace but as soon as I go fast I was done.

2- Get used to different tightness , if you're using your hands, use a firmer grip from time to time or if you're using a sex toy, tighten your grip too. Keyword is "firmer" not "choke the blood of your penis" lol; for example , use a light grip for 4 min and then tighten your grip for 2 min and then alternate until you reach your 15min. This advice is good because sometimes in some sex positions that thing was tighter than normal therefore it'd be very stimulating to me.

3- Get used to different sex positions, because there are some positions if you're not used to doing them you won't be able to relax/feel the involuntary kegels/last a long time and you will get closer to ponr sooner than you planned believe me.

4- And also, guys, only do hard RKs when you feel like you're getting too aroused and you want to bring your arousal down, stop all stimulations when doing a hard RKs and don't do them while being stimulated; while being stimulated you should only be breathing deeply and keeping your body relaxed . Many guys thought that I said that you should always be doing hard RK while being stimulated, that'd be too exhausting. Its probably my fault for not explaining it better, so my advice if to sync your breathing to the RKs so if becomes second nature to you to do a light RK each time you breath-in and to relax it with every breath-out. Learn to sync your breathing to your RK outside of the bedroom so that memory muscle can take over every time your breath deeply when being stimulated.

And last but not least, I want to last even longer and get better, so the training continues, this time I know what I didn't know before I started this journey so imma get better for sure, I hope other people get the same results as me, because before this whole thing I couldn't last even 30sec, now I can fuck a girl for 10min+ RAW!! sometimes. My overall experience was great but, I think we can make this routine better. My goal now is to be able to fuck her hard for as long as I want everytime she says "papi, dame duro"....that is 'fuck me harder' for those whom never dated a latina baby before. Blessings guys.

UPDATE: SATURDAY JUNE 6TH 2020

Hi guys, it has been a while since i posted this routine on reddit and i'm here to shed some light on the routine itself and to give you guys some updates about how i'm doing

First and foremost, i named the routine the wrong name, 66days is not enough to beat PE, it actually took me a little over a year to get where im at now...at first i started doing the same routine with my hands with no lube around august or september 2018, i quit several times cause the results were very slow and i had a girlfriend at the time, later on she dumped me because of pe, like around november or december 2018, i started again and then i quit again because of a new job, didnt really have the time and i wasnt getting no action in the bed after the break up....i started again one more time like around february or march 2019, this time i was serious because even when i quit multiple times without seeing any overly big difference on my performance, yet i was still seeing some minor differences and it took me sometimes to realize that...so i started again around march, i started with my hands with no lube, by april i got used to my hands and i needed something more challenging, so i bought some lube, everything was hard at first cause it was a new sensation, the focus of the training changed, i was fapping just to feel the sensation, not to cum like i usually do, 3 months later, i felt so much confidence, i was able to last over 30min while masturbating with lube to the point that it'll be hard for me to get to ponr, i felt so much confidence and got so used to the sensation that i gave myself the ultimate challenge with all the confidence in the world, telling myself that if i could get used to the fleshlight just like i got used to my hands, i'll be able to beat PE and i bought the fleshlight like around august...like around end of august, beginning of september that's when i started this now called 66days routine based on my trials and experiments, and the rest was history as you guys know

Second of all, i want to address the misconception that many people have when it comes to this routine; many people think that the 66days routine is some kind of edging or is about semen retention...no it isn't, this routine is about arousal control, is about re-wiring your brain into thinking that a nut is not everything there is when it comes to sex, is about getting used to something you arent used to, is about doing thing diferently, is about getting used to the sensation of your body...the main goal is not to masturbate until you reach ponr, the main is to get used to getting pleasure for a longer time than what you usually do, 20min doesnt have to be the goal, your goal can be 5min, 10min, 1hour, it doesnt matter, you shouldnt even get CLOSE ponr, you have yo keep your arousal under control all the time until you reach your goal...what i did realize is that our body is programable, if you do something over and over again for a while, it'll become a reflex, almost like second nature.

As of now here are the things i've accomplished thanks to that routine here:

Accomplishments

1 - I can last between 7min to 15min of penetration or even more if i really want to. 2 - My lungs are stronger xd 3 - Whenever im fapping, im usually satisfied after 25min or so and i usually stop fapping all over after 25min without cumming...meaning that i dont have that need to orgasm everytime i'm getting pleasure like i used to before 4 - I can last an eternity while receiving oral sex 5 - I feel confident as fuckkkkk, pardon my french 6 - Now for some reason, i never cum when i have a sex dream, i always wake up when i feel i'm getting close to ponr...lemme tell you that before all of this i couldnt even penetrate the girl in my dream, i would bust way before i could stick it in

Although the routine has done more good than bads, there are also some "bad" things

1 - Less intense orgasm, less fulfilling....i went from a 5 orgasm contractions/spams guy to a 3 contractions/spasm...many readers have reported seeing less semen too...thats not my case tho 2 - Lose erection very often after the 20min mark unless i make things interesting like going faster or start thrusting with my hips 3 - I get strong erections at night time...even if im not in the mood...always around the same time 4 - Once you start having more sex...fapping will feel kind of boring to the point that you avoid fapping completely....from the time im writing this post it has been more than week ago since i've last masturbated...but i havent had sex since this whole covid-19 shit started neither, i wonder how am i doing now

Now that will show you how much my Body and my Mind have changed thanks to this routine, it definitely took me some time before it started changing me on a mental level, this "waking up before cumming" thing started happening when i was almost done with this 66days routine, it took me almost a year to get my mind re-wired...but i do think that having more successful sex helped with that a lot

UPDATED DECEMBER 13th 2020

Hey guys, it's been a while since i last updated this post right here; Some of you guys have sent me messages asking how different everything is a year after coming up with the 66days routine....Man, long story short, this year hasn't been the best year, it's been a long journey; first of all i dont think i fucked 20 times within those past 320 days, did good on some occasions, did ok on other occasions and did bad. I've learned a lot.

First thing first, here is my two cents: not lasting that long doesn't really mean PE necesarily, PE is at least 90% psycological, meditation is definitely useful.

So far, masturbation has become quite boring for me, i dont really feel the same excitement i get compared to sex and my orgasm feels kinda dull when fapping; there's a big ass hole in my fleshlight and i'm not trying to buy a new one; i still cant go fully hardcore for too long without feeling i'm getting close to ponr; i've tried coming up with a couple of new routines which at the end didn't improve my time by much; and i've been investigating about the so called "death grip" syndrome which led to me incorporating porn into the 66days routine after some deep investigation, surprisingly i can last a long time before cumming while watching porn and fapping feels less boring, again dont do the latter if you're still on your early phase, the arousal would be too much for you, thats some advance technique right here, it's just that i kinda have the same feeling i get while having sex by watching porn while fapping, i never thought i would say that, and to be honest i just dont masturbate that much anymore, i just do it at least 4 to 5 times a month and i'd probably orgasm 2 times depending on the video, it's not a routine, i just got a stronger will power now. I still cant last too long during missionary, i can give her 2 minute max tho, thats usually my finishing move tho.

Remember guys, this routine is not a cure for PE, sometimes i cum quick just because of a thought that crossed my mind, or because when i hadn't fuck for like 3-7 weeks and got careless or got overexcited, when that happens, dont take it to heart, it happened because you were too aroused and that you hadnt fucked in a while...it's not an excuse, it's a fact...i learned that the hard way...overall i'm happy, i definitely had more success than failure, i can proudly say that i can fuck for as many as 7-9 songs off the weeknd's 2015 album, give her head for like 3 songs, and then i try alternating between giving head and fucking or changing position everytime a song is done playing...free game for you guys, you might be laughing right now but if you only you knew how long those songs are lmfao

I dont claim that this routine right here will be useful for everybody, nothing is that perfect...but just like me, take the decision to do things differently, change the way you fap, get used to your new way of fapping, and for the love of God, get PE out of your head bro...the latter is probably one of the reason i dont stay on this forum that much, im trying to forget about pe and to stop seeing that "cumming earlier than you wanted to" as if something is wrong with you, nothing is wrong with you, get that one out of your head first...I've been telling you guys that, i started lasting longer as soon as i started having more success while having sex and building confidence, and it's true. Now the only thing i gotta get out of my mind is that stupid idea of wanting to go faster, i think that shit has to do with my lasting time not improving when i got fast, maybe??

One last thing guys, please listen to your body, some of you arent seeing any results, just listen to your body:

If going for that many days without cumming too hard for you; trying going less days.

If the fleshlight is too hard for you; you arent ready yet, dont use it.

If you're starting and quitting; just start and dont quit it this time.

If you cum too fast one day; fuck it, try tomorrow and dont cum this time, challenge yourself.

If you get close to ponr too many times in a short period of time; dont just keep going, stop, try tomorrow.

All im asking is for you to make the time it takes you to get to ponr longer, and if you will, dont even get to ponr...that's it, it's not rocket science nor calculus...that's all for today, see yall when i see yall.

BTW: Stay off the porn, this part of the routine is still under trial, so far i see no effects. But i still see how it can backfire for some of you guys.

UPDATE: JANUARY 18th 2021

So exactly one year and 4 months later after coming up with the routine and, after only 8 months masturbating with porn....last night i was finally able to fuck the living shit out of my lady, my only issue was that i couldnt go fast, last night i sure did go fast, multiple times without getting even close too porn for longer than 30secs, while keeping my arousal under control, of course i would slow down to make sure i dont get too confident, i had her screamingggg; guys, i need to emphasize the importance of tightening up your grip because im used to such a firmer grip that oral nor the pussy didnt feel like too overwhelming to me like it did 2-3 months ago, and i also need to emphasize the importance of arousal control, last night was a good example of arousal control...we hadnt fuck for a while to be honest, so i've had time to practice and i seriously think that doing the 66days routine with porn and a tighter grip with less lube while respecting all the rules was a game changer for me. But one more time, imma keep it 100 with you guys, if you're just starting with the routine, stay off the porn because you probably dont have the arousal control you need to do it with porn, before i decided to include porn into the routine, i made sure i could last longer during sex and i made sure i understood the way my arousal work, so dont be out here cheating on the process...if i had to count, it took me a strong 3 years to get where i am now, there's no way you can speed up things, trust me...so next saturday she will come again, i mean how can she not?? Am i right?? I dont want to celebrate too early but....the thing is if i can repeat the same thing i did last night 2 to 4 more times, i can definitely say that i overcame PE and i think i'll be the first one to say that on this platform..

I've been suffering from premature ejaculation for as long as I can remember. Sex was always a struggle not to cum. I could last a bit longer if I did stop/start technique multiple times, but it was still hard. And interrupting the flow of sex wasn't very fun. I have done loads of practices during the years, and even tried drugs to solve the problem. I was hopeless with no way out.

So I broke up with my last gf 2 months ago, and have been celibate ever since. I was scared to get a new girl because of premature ejaculation, so I focused on myself. Somehow, during this time, I found the solution.

I just had sex last night with a new girl, and wtf. I could last as long as I wanted, I had total control. I could have cummed in 5 minutes by tensing my cock muscle if I wanted to, but I didn't so I just banged her nonstop for an hour and at the end chose not to even cum at all. I enjoyed the process more than the grand finale.

No drugs, no alcohol, no tricks, I just fucked her senseless. I have never been able to do that before.

This is my process, could be different for you but here's what I did:

• Quit all porn. Also masturbation. Also ejaculation. r/semenretention

• Exercise PC muscle the right way: actually the correct muscle is not in your penis, like I thought before. It's between your anus and tailbone. Squeezing this muscle and relaxing your "cock muscle" guides the sexual energy away from your penis, getting you further away from PONR. So exercise this. Stop squeezing your cock muscles. Google reverse kegels and do them very softly. You can also breathe in deeply and imagine it's relaxing your cock muscle.

• Taoist deer exercise twice a day

• Cold showers r/coldshowers

• Meditation r/meditation

• Regular exercise r/fitness

• Just generally chilling the fuck out and not treating sex as a performance. Staying in the moment and breathing.

Hope this helps someone. Bye bye PE.

//// UPDATED FIELD REPORT:

Yup... It's confirmed. We have had sex multiple times over the last few days and everytime I've had full control. Full banging for hours and I haven't even came (could if I wanted to). This is the holy grail. But I would believe a big part is psychological, you need to kill your addiction to ejaculation.

She told me most guys last like 15 minutes, but me... I'm an animal. Well that's just something I thought I would never hear in my life. Wtf man, I used to last like 2-5 minutes. Master your sexuality and it's all yours.

I've been asked about it lots so here is one guide to the deer exercise: https://beducated.com/mag/deer-exercise/

//////////// 10 MONTH UPDATE:

Yeaaah it's officially solved for good, never had a problem with PE since this post. Correct reverse kegel is the most important thing.

//////////////// 4 YEAR UPDATE:

Never had that problem again. Never. It works. I can have multi-hour sessions where I'm 100% focused on the sex and feeling amazing. Usually I even choose not to ejaculate at all in the end because I feel so amazing from the sex alone. We just decide to stop because we're hungry or have somewhere to be or feel tired etc.

Disclaimer: These multi-hour sessions have cuddling breaks and water breaks and both slow and fast phases - who would even want to jackhammer for more than 5 minutes straight. Even boxing has rounds (and the boxers don't get knocked out at the end of every round, if you know what I'm saying).

I said this in a comment today and that's pretty much it:

When having sex I breathe and relax my pelvic area, pause if I need to, hyperfocus on the woman I'm with, and that's pretty much it. It's important not to have a feeling of urgency.

In order to be able to relax your pelvic floor, you need reverse kegels. I know I used to hold a lot of tension there and that was the root of the problem, and the reason why general advice like breathing and being in the moment didn't help. I was physically blocked from being able to relax my penis, no matter how much I got my mind or the rest of my body to relax.

TLDR: I've overcome my PE by trying everything I can for a year.

Okay, guys, it literally feels surreal right now, but a year and a half ago I had massive PE problems and very bad sex life. I was 3 years together with my girlfriend. We had something similar to sex once a month, but it was very quick (1-3 frictions, and I'm done) and we both felt awful. She was not satisfied with that at all and she didn't like me masturbating her vagina. I felt like shit, we both had massive insecurities about our sex life, and this tainted our relationship. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't last long, even when I masturbated alone. I even got a "PE that cannot be cured" diagnosis of a urologist which fucking killed some part of me that day.

I got very angry and started looking for help online. I read a lot of "wow, I'm finally cured" stories at this subreddit, so I started thinking about going all in about fixing PE, and then, if I can't do it - so be it, I'll try to just live with that. So let's go. Here are my steps for curing my PE.

1. I went to a psychologist who specialized in sex (maybe you can call him a sexologist), we were talking with him for like 2-3 months about sex and about my bottled-up emotions. The psychiatrist helped me a lot in life in general, and with my sex life, he helped me to start talking about my sex without any hesitation and shame. I discovered that sex was forbidden and hidden and kinda banned in my family. So I grew very sneaky and ashamed about it.

2. I went to a urologist and got my "PE that cannot be cured" diagnosis. Got very upset about it and started feeling like an invalid person. But at least he told me that I have no physical sex disorders. He told me that my nerves are just more sensitive than the nerves of other people, and then he recommended me some pills and special condoms. Fuck.

3. I tried condoms that make you last longer. Didn't work. Fuck.

4. I tried POXET-60 pills (they claim to cure PE and make you last longer in bed). Didn't work. And I felt very sleepy with them. Fuck.

5. I researched the hell out of https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index and PE, I wanted to become semi-professional in sex and to learn from other people.

6. I started exercising with a fitness coach 2 times a week.

7. I started my 66 Days Fap Training from this sub. Thx a lot, WiseDaggerDick. This was the point of no return. Basically, I quit porn and started masturbating without ejaculation every day, started exploring myself and my sensations. Only 1 ejaculation a week was allowed. My idea was that if I can last 10 minutes masturbating, then I could last 10 minutes in bed. The main problem was that I couldn't last even a minute masturbating. So by starting masturbating every day (standing), I got those results:

   1. I stopped masturbating with a dead grip (didn't even know what it was)

   2. Understood that my pelvic floor muscles get very tight when my dick gets touched - when I masturbate or have sex. To fix that, technically speaking I started doing reversed Kegels every time I masturbate (and have sex later in life).

   3. Started masturbating the head of the penis with the foreskin down the shaft. Before that, I was only moving my foreskin up and down. This helped me to reduce the sensation of the head, it's very important because when you have sex, you basically thrust with your head, the foreskin moves just a little or doesn't move at all.

   4. With no dead grip, reversed Kegels, and foreskin down the shaft, I started lasting 10-15 minutes every time I masturbate which was fucking awesome, it was visual representation of my progress. That gave me a lot of confidence. I was doing 15 minutes masturbating standing every day without ejaculation for a month. It helped me lose "I need to ejaculate hard every time I masturbate" mentality, it was transformed to more like "I want to have pleasure without ejaculation, ejaculation is secondary or even not needed at all".

8. Around a month after doing 66 Days Fap Training, I caught myself and my girlfriend in the right mood (It was very hard to initiate sex because we were both feeling awful every time we try), laid down, relaxed, and just went with my feelings, fucked the hell out of her (We were doing woman on top). She didn't ejaculate but enjoyed the process because I lasted for let's say 30-70 frictions (4-10 minutes approximately) when It was 1-5 frictions before (less than a minute). For the first time in years, I was just holding her, loving her, and being my true exposed and vulnerable self without any clothes. Before that, I just wanted to sneakily cum and to make her feel good in the process, but on this day I just was in a moment, enjoying her and myself, didn't thinking about our problems and cumming. I ejaculated very hard and when I stood up and went to get rid of the condom, I was literally shaking, my legs didn't hold me. It was so good and I was so damn happy that I remember this moment till now. She was very happy too. It was our first good sex basically :) This gave me a feeling that If I can do it once, I can master it and do it every time, I'm not an invalid person, fuck you, urologist.

9. After that, we started fixing our sex life little by little. It didn't just get fixed on the first good sex, no. But it went from total failure to semi-functional sex. I still couldn't last long in bed every time, but I started getting a hang of it. We started talking about sex, getting rid of shame, started understanding what we want and stuff, we started being more open about our sexual life and about our sexual personalities sorta say. We understood that at that moment the only pose I can last longer is a woman on top (especially if one of my legs is underneath my ass - just try it for yourself, it relaxes your pelvic floor very well). Then we discovered the "She is on top, but I'm sitting" pose. Then she started cumming before me, wow. It was so nice to see her cum :) Then I had some good experience in missionary (it's my most weak position). And yeah, in some time everything just was fixed. And today (5 May 2021) I know that the next time we'll have sex - it would be good and long enough, and this is the opposite of PE. So I'm cured, guys. Wooho!

And now we're just experimenting, opening ourselves to each other more every day, and basically enjoying each other's company.

So this is my nugget of wisdom for you guys: If you suffer from PE, I feel sorry, this fucking sucks. I've been there. But don't tell yourself that you're doomed and don't give up until you actually go all-in on fixing this problem. I feel like our bad child masturbation habits hold us back from having great sex today, and that we ignore our sex problems, because sex is like a very quick dive into some kind of an alternate reality once up a time, and that then, outside of it, you're a good guy and you don't need to fix anything. No, there is good long-lasting sex and everybody around you has it once up a time. And you, my dude, can have it too if you go all-in on fixing your PE. And if not - well, you tried. It's a decision of a strong person, and it's okay. But before suffering and talking that life is not fair - you should try to go all-in on fixing PE. You can do it, my dude. Good luck. I believe that if a 0 sex confidence and "PE that can't be cured" diagnosis guy like me could do it - you can do it too.

Edit (5 May 2021): Also, I'd like to add that almost every time we have sex, my first ejaculation is somewhat fast, but in the second round, I can last for as long as I want in some poses. So don't beat up on yourself if you can't hold it for long before your first ejaculation, or if missionary doesn't work for you, it's fine :)

Edit 2 (7 Dec 2021): Got better lasting my first round. Sometimes I can last for 5 minutes. But I last very long (10-15 minutes) on the second round, every time. It's all about the mentality and not really wanting to cum. Also need to relax your pelvic floor, you need to not be sex-starved, you need to slow down. And the moment of insertion is important. It shouldn't be too tight, or I cum fast for some reason.

Edit 3 (11 Feb 2021): Got a lot of messages from you guys. If you want to cure yourself - start the 66 days fap training https://www.reddit.com/r/PrematureEjaculation/comments/djkxnp/66_days_fap_trainnigthe_only_way_youll_overcome/. While doing it learn about the dead grip and don't do it, learn about your pelvic floor and start relaxing it, and stick to the routine. Don't cum every day during the challenge, you're allowed to do it only once a week. It seems very-very hard, but it's very important to teach your body to not want to cum. Only with it, you'll be able to notice all the sensations in your body. Without it, you're going berserk-mode and don't see the obvious. And if you can't masturbate daily and not cumming once a week - you're not desperate enough, try again in half a year of sex failure. I was desperate enough, and I've beaten it, I've gone all out. You can do it too, just stick to the plan and good luck! I believe in you, my dude!
________________________________________________________

P.S. Fuck you PE. Man, we need to talk about sex and PE more with our dudes. Fucking fuck you PE. Damn you.

P.S.S. Thx for all the upvotes and comments, guys. I wish you luck with your PE fight!

This is a prototype post of all the knowledge and notes I took related to increasing sex duration in men. The reason I do this is because some men feel helpless and weak. They think they have no solution or that they simply are failed men. But that's not true.

Some have been mocked by other men who don't know their situation, and have been put down or abandoned by women. All this leading them to feel helpless, depressed and worthless. But that's not real. Your value is much but you don't realize it yet.

You are a Man. You have the Cock. And I'm going to help you overcome premature orgasm so you can defeat up to three female orgasms in a row and always be able to demonstrate no girlfriend can with a Man who consciously develops himself.

Men, up. Recover your self confidence because I guarantee that everyone can overcome premature orgasm. Included the man who ejaculate at the thought of. He also will be able to hold hard thrusts with her riding on top of him for long enough.

In this post we are going to see a brief summary of each of the 7 essential aspects to have longer duration, and other useful info. After this post you can do more research if you want to go deeper in something. But basically, here is listed all that you need. I will also update info if I have something to improve the post.

Index:

1. Essential aspects to have longer duration.

2. Things that work to last longer.

3. Things that don't work to last longer.

4. Neurochemistry of orgasm.

5. Supplements that help.

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1. Essential aspects to have longer duration.

• Develop your pelvic floor muscles with reverse kegels.

• Desensitization of the glans (don't worry, you will be able to feel the same pleasure).

• The fap method to develop the plateau stage.

• Calm the mind and the autonomic nervous system.

• Get rid of PMO to recover serotonin levels and dopamine receptors.

• Learn to have non-ejaculatory orgasms.

• Have a better quality of erection with the Angion method.

When analyzing a system, try to improve the least efficient part first. “This has the greatest beneficial effect on the overall efficiency of the system.”
-Book: Designing Improved Wood Burning Heating Stoves

Develop your pelvic floor muscles with reverse kegels.

These exercises will allow a longer duration and a little more control over the orgasm.

You have muscles in the area near the base of the member, called the pelvic floor muscles. They are involved in holding urine, gases and ejaculation. They are too tense in men who have short duration.

Relax your pelvic floor completely. Everyday. There is an excercise called kegel contractions. A Kegel contraction further tightens the pelvic floor muscles. To understand what a kegel does, imagine that you are squeezing to hold in urine, or gas. It's important for you to know it, because you have to learn when you are contracting the pelvic floor muscles, and how to do the oposite. Also, you need to know how does a kegel contraction feels so you can realize when you're having them.

This method requires a daily commitment. The pelvic floor muscles are those that control the release of gas, urine and ejaculation. When they are very tense, signals are sent to the autonomic nervous system to ejaculate. Each contraction also sends signals to the nervous system and reach the brain. All these signals accumulate, and when they reach above a threshold, orgasm occurs.

The pelvic floor muscles tense by automated reflex, and by staying tense, orgasm occurs much more easily. You need to learn to relax them so as not to advance the orgasm period. To become familiar and aware of these muscles, squeeze for 5 seconds as if to hold in your pee, and relax for 15 seconds as if to pee and poop.

It's pretty hard to push your hips without doing a Kegel. And each contraction is one step closer to orgasm. The quickest way to induce an orgasm is to do pelvic floor contractions since it mimics the body's natural way of bringing itself to orgasm.

Pelvic floor muscles to last longer.

To simplify, pelvic floor tension is interpreted as your "arousal scale" for your nervous system. When it reaches the threshold, the point of no return is activated. The greater the muscle tension, the more signals the nervous system sends for orgasm.

If muscle spasms in the pelvic area are inhibited, such as the bulbus spongiosum and ischiocavernosus (which are part of the pubococcygeus muscle), it takes longer to trigger the orgasm phase. Performing Keggel exercises, but aimed at this, can inhibit muscle spasms in the pelvic area. You don't have to train them as for hypertrophy, but to train the mind-muscle connection and be more aware of when they are contracting and how to relax them.

Muscle elasticity increases directly after a contraction, this is used in manual therapy to relieve muscle spasms and muscle hyperactivation throughout the body. That's why it's so beneficial to do 5-second Kegel contractions and then a 10-second reverse Kegel.

When you feel like you've gained enough control, you can even do it during sex to tone down your arousal by doing a reverse Kegel right after a Kegel.

The Reverse Kegel It is done as if you are trying to pee. Don't just push back as if you wanted to do number 2, also push forward as if you wanted to do number 1. Be very cautious of this when you're having sex with a partner. Practice a lot alone before, to avoid accidents.

Some of the pelvic floor muscles are structurally very close to the transversus abdominis muscle, so squeezing your abs during sex can increase tension and arousal.

Desensitization of the glans.

There is an ancient tantric/taoist practice that focuses on the glans. The practice consists of being sitted, legs appart, and hitting your thighs with the glans repeatedly. The objective is to gradually desensitize the nerves in that area to be able to last longer without reaching orgasm.

Premature orgasm is often very unpleasant. The reason is that it took very little time for brain, muscles and the whole body to produce a more complete physical reaction.

This will not cause you to lose pleasure, but on the contrary. It makes the build up to orgasm take longer, making the orgasm being much more pleasurable. But it will also give you much more control and duration as you progress.

Tapping on the glans and crown will gradually desensitize the nerves over the weeks. Caution. No need to get hurt. If something causes pain or injury, it is too intense.

The fap method to develop the plateau.

A brief explanation:

The human sexual response is all the physical and hormonal changes that human beings experience when faced with sexual stimulation. It was studied by sexologist.

The male sexual response consists of the following 4 phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

Excitement phase:

It's all that produces the desire to have a sexual relationship. From looks, words, touch, smiles, etc.

Plateau phase:

Is a stage in sex of sustained excitement, enjoyment of the present moment and the physical sensations, and experiencing vividly the present moment.

Pre-ejaculatory stage: it is just before reaching the point of no return, but you are so sensitive that any extra stimulus produces ejaculation. Some men remain on this phase in a practice called edging, believing it's going to make them be able to hold more. But we are going to see now that this practice is not good.

Point of no return: this is when ejaculation is imminent, regardless of whether you continue with activity or not.

Orgasm phase:

The orgasm arises after the excitement and plateau phases. Heart rate and breathing reach their maximum frequency and intensity. There is great muscle tension and involuntary contractions of the penis, vaginal muscles and anal sphincter. Ejaculation usually occurs in men.

Resolution phase:

It is the gradual restoration of physical and mental normality, after having reached orgasm. The man experiences a refractory period, during which he is unable to become aroused again, or to do so with the same intensity. Women, on the other hand, do not have a refractory period and are capable of achieving multiple and frequent orgasms.

The fap method to develop the plateau.

This fap method allows you to develop the plateau phase, while also helping to desensitize the glans. The objective is masturbation without reaching phases close to ejaculation. To be effective, it's done without edging (bordering on orgasm), without reaching the point of no return (PONR) and without reaching orgasm or very close stages to orgasm.

You need to do sessions from 5 to 60 minutes, arriving as few times as possible close to orgasm. The key of this method is to masturbate and stay as far away from orgasm as possible, to separate the sensations of stimulating the penis and being aroused, with the activation of orgasm. In this way the nervous system learns to maintain, enjoy and prolong the plateau phase without having the automatic mechanic activation to orgasm. This method prolongs the plateau stage and makes reaching orgasm take longer.

By never bringing yourself close to orgasm, the body learns to feel the plateau and prolong it. It makes you start enjoying the sexual process itself, and remove the excessive focus on orgasm. This is what makes the difference with edging method, in which you're forcing yourself to resist the orgasm impulses and constantly putting more focus on orgasm. Edging is also at some point, kind of a torture even when technically it should be pleasurable.

With this fap method, the glans is desensitized at the same time you develop the plateau phase. It gives you more confidence in your sexuality. Impulse control develops in your brain. The rewire of neuronal paths and the creation of neural networks related to sex and sexual stimuli. You're beating the very bases of premature orgasm.

"The temptation to give up is going to be greatest just when you are about to succeed."

"We gain strength from the temptation we resist."

"If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up."

Method guide.

Masturbate directly on the glans, with the foreskin off. Using enough lubricant and the palm of the hand surrounding your glans, emulating a vulva. Fap untill you need to stop, it doesn't matter if that moment is a second after you start. The practice is about masturbating until before you feel the orgasm is coming close (that is to say, before edging). Stop whenever you need to, calm your excitement level, and start again. Mantain yourself aroused but not about to orgasm.

This method is made withouth porn since we are going to see later, porn sensitizes the brain to orgasm quick. But some porn users may not even be able to feel aroused or have libido or an erection without porn stimuli. We will look at this problem below. Many of them get better after some weeks of getting rid of it, and the others must nourish them very well and do physical activity to recover hormonal levels and normal levels of dopamine receptors in the brain in order to feel excitement again.

You have to completely replace the traditional fap method, and use this method, which is more stimulating and equals or surpasses a vulva in terms of nerve stimulation. So your central nervous system readjusts to interpret the signals sent by the nerves of your penis in a less sensitive and receptive way. Making the vulva unable to overstimulate you and produce an orgasm in a few seconds.

It's ideal to have a session every day, and for each session to last from 5 minutes to up to 60 minutes. Since it is very stimulating, you should not feel guilty if you sometimes reach the point of no return or orgasm, but understand that this method is effective if you avoid those phases.

The premature ejaculator has the plateau phase so burned out and diminished that at first he cannot even recognize anything between sexual desire and sensations that leads to the orgasm.

Be kind to yourself. You are learning now and improving. Don't beat yourself up if you orgasm without realizing it in time. Take it easy. As we will see later, part of this is due to neural effects produced by pornography use.

During the session you have to pay attention to the sensations that arise, and thus you develop awareness of your plateau phase. You will see your arousal. It's not the mega-arousal that you have during an orgasm. It is a more sustained and smoother excitement.

You will become more aware of when you are about to enter the pre-ejaculatory stage (pre-edging zone), and you will learn to stop sooner. This way you develop awareness and little by little you begin to see masturbation and sex not as a means to achieve orgasm, but as something enjoyable in itself.

With PMO we train our brain chemicals to make the body finish quickly. And this became a programmed reflex in our body. With this method you need to be strong, because if you are used to finishing quickly, not doing so can be immensely difficult at first. Furthermore, pornography is a hyperstimulus that increases dopamine, and what dopamine does is bring forward the orgasm. Therefore, this method is done without pornography, and only by stimulating yourself with masturbation and imagining that you are penetrating a vulva.

Start with light grip:

During the sessions, it is very important to breathe deeply and relax your pelvic muscles. For the first 5 minutes, and only for the first 5 minutes, start very slowly and gently to acclimatize the nerves and brain so that they can then receive more stimulation without activating the mechanics of an orgasm. Gentle fapping but as much as possible, continuous if possible without reaching the pre-ejaculatory phase.

Continue the session with a standard grip:

Then continue with a standard grip. The standard grip needs to be a little firmer and more stimulating than a vulva. Once in the standard grip, breaks will obviously be necessary. Take all the breaks you need. The objective is not to reach the pre-ejaculatory phase and to learn and assimilate and recognize all the sensations that exist in the plateau phase.

Repetition and consistency is substitution:

Repetition is important. It is about replacing the involuntary automated reflex of rapid orgasm with that of relaxing the pubococcygeus muscle. Whenever you involuntarily come close to ejaculation, stop all stimulation, breathe from the base of the lungs and relax the pubococcygeus muscle. This way the excitement is reduced and you learn to tame that ejaculating beast.

Avoid orgasm and pre-ejaculatory phases:

If orgasm occurs, adaptation does not occur and you reach orgasm or reach a very close phase. For the method to work, you have to avoid orgasm or get very close to ejaculation.

Replacing fear when orgasm is very easy with full confidence in your abilities:

At first you may feel like an orgasm is imminent just from touching yourself a little, or just thinking about it. This is called performance anxiety and is responsible for making you overexcited during sex and capable of producing an instant orgasm. With the days of practice that will reduce. This is psychological by suggestion. It's not about your nerves if you can hold your penis to pee without having an orgasm, but rather a neurochemical factor. It's just about confidence on yourself that you're going to develop.

You should completely replace conventional masturbation with this masturbation method. And from now on, every time you want to have an orgasm you have to last at least 20 minutes with this method before allowing yourself to reach a phase close to ejaculation. After 20 minutes of bulding up your orgasm in plateau phase, avoid edging, and just have the orgasm.

This is how you reeducate your brain. It is key to train the brain and understand that stimulation does not necessarily have to be for ejaculation. This is achieved by ensuring that in most masturbation sessions you do not finish, and in the sessions in which you do, you do so by masturbating for a long time before reaching a phase close to ejaculation. At a certain point, the idea of ​​orgasm stops appearing in your mind when you masturbate, and you start being more present with the present moment, enjoying the excitement. This is what we seek and this is your cure. You focus more on the sensations of the plateau than on ejaculating.

At first the plateau phase may seem absurd, boring or meaningless for you. Maybe you feel that there is no point in masturbating if it is not to have an orgasm. As you progress it will begin to make sense to your body and brain, as a pleasurable and entertaining activity in itself.

Sex is not only orgasm. Through quality sex you will strengthen an emotional bond with your partner, you satisfy your partner, you maintain physical activity, you improve the health of your brain in ways that we are not aware of at the moment, you give yourself more confidence.

Have strong stimuli from time to time to desensitize the nerves:

After having stimulation with standard grip without orgasming, gradually start trying fast speeds and tight grip. I recommend going fast and strong for 1 to 5 seconds at first, depending on your current level, and increasing it little by little, but staying away from the pre-ejaculatory phase/edging zone. If that happens, calm down and wait 1 or 2 minutes.

It's usually helpful to go fast and tight for 5 seconds and completely stop any stimulus for 10 seconds or more, or continue with a standard grip.

One of the most stimulating sexual position for a man is sitting with her riding. And it's one of the favorite of most women. If you build nerve tolerance to tight grip and fast speed, you will be able to stay there longer and longer. Without fear.

Improvement case with this fap method:

Basically, I quit porn and started masturbating without ejaculation every day, I started exploring myself and my sensations. I only allowed myself 1 ejaculation a week. My idea was that if I could last 10 minutes masturbating, then I could last 10 minutes in bed, I couldn't last a minute masturbating. So, by starting to masturbate every day (standing up), I got results.

That's the case of a reddit user here in this sub. Sources:

I've overcome my PE and fixed my sex life in a year

Calm the mind and the nervous system.

There is something called the Autonomic Nervous System, it operates internal organs, smooth muscle and glands. This System is divided in two parts called Sympathetic, and Parasympathetic. Both must function to maintain the various different functions of the organs and processes.

This Sympathetic system is the primary mechanism in control of the fight-or-flight response. It's about action, adrenaline, dopamine, movement, stress, tension, orgasm.

The Parasympathetic system is the primary mechanism in control of rest, digestion, restoration, anabolism and tissue construction.

The muscle spasm response of orgasm is activated by the Sympathetic system, which is also activated by different stimuli such as excesive excitement, anxiety, fear, porn, pelvic floor muscle tension, accelerated breathing, etc.

Reducing or quitting the things that activate the sympathetic nervous system makes sex last longer. Why? Because the sympathetic nervous system is what sends the signals to produce the orgasm.

Breathing deep to induce the parasympathetic nervous system:

Breathe a little deeper and a little slower than you would like. Your heart races as your breathing changes. Much of this is autonomic, but the easiest autonomic function to modify is breathing. Breathe as if you were completely mentally relaxed. As if you had been in the same activity, but with total calm. Breathe as if you are about to fall asleep.

Psychological factor: over-arousal.

The emotional psychological factor of premature orgasm is about self-confidence. Don't put women on a pedestal or deify woman and sex. Understand that a vulva is not so different to your hand. The stimuli very similar in intensity. The difference is in your mind, by unconciously believing things like that you may not be enough for her, that you will not do it well, that you will not satisfy her, that she will think that you are not worth it as a couple, that you don't deserve to have a good moment, that you have no value to feel pleasure or happiness.

All that absolutely activates your sympathetic response.

Be totally present and fully experiencing what is happening at all times of the sexual experience. You have value. You're not anything lesser than any potential partner. Calm down. Just relax. It's not the end of the world. You just have a quick orgasmic response by now, due to neurochemical disbalances, glans nerve sensitiveness and wrong emotional beliefs. You will gradually disolve all that and develop more duration.

Relax. It's allright :)

"When there are no enemies inside, the enemies outside cannot harm you."
-Unknown

Psychological approach with a sexologist psychologist:

One user on Reddit reported going to a sex psychologist for 2 or 3 months and talk about sex and his repressed emotions. He discovered that everything related to sex was prohibited in his childhood in his family. So he became very sneaky about hiding it and very embarrassed about everything related to sex.

Inner calm through present experience:

In the Taoist mentality of tantra, the key is to have no goal. It seems difficult, but it's about being completely present in the moment. A goal like "not finishing" is a distraction. Experience sex totally, without any expectation or goal of having or not having an orgasm.

More ways to enhance the parasympathetic nervous system and to reduce the excessive sympathetic responses.

There are stimuli to increase the parasympathetic system. One of them is breathing, which is interesting because it is related to the vagus nerve, the phrenic nerve and the heart. Deep inhalation for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds to stimulate the switch from sympathetic to parasympathetic, slow exhalation for 8 seconds to intensify parasympathetic stimulation. You can do this before or during sex.

During sex, you'll want to at least breathe deeply and from your diaphragm and focus on exhaling slowly. It doesn't necessarily have to be 8 seconds, but the exhalation should be longer than the inhalation to stimulate parasympathetic regulation. Breathing deeply and slowly activates the parasympathetic system. Simply breathing deeply and slowly through your abdomen will signal to your body that there is no danger and your parasympathetic activity will increase.

Get rid of PMO to recover serotonin levels.

"Hell and destruction are never satisfied, just as the eyes of man are never satisfied" -Proverbs 27:20

Pornography produces excessive sensitization in the neural pathways of orgasm, accustoming the brain to having an orgasm more quickly. But at the same time, it produces desensitization to the different sexual stimulus such as visual, making it require much more to produce and maintain an erection. This translates into a weaker erection but a faster orgasm at the same time. The worst of both worlds.

Many people mistakenly consume pornography because they believe it will desensitize them to orgasm. However, what will desensitize is the erection, and the orgasm will come much sooner.

This point may be te most shocking. But by every time watching porn, you are reducing the plateau phase and screwing your brain chemistry balance. There is zero tolerance to porn when it comes to develop longer duration in man with premature orgasm.

Learn to have non-ejaculatory orgasms.

You may notice that if you ejaculate and then have another round, the second ejaculation may take longer. This is due to the refractory phase, which is when it is difficult to ejaculate again.

When you have a non-ejaculatory orgasm, you can partially keep an erection and continue having sex. I'm not very advanced in this tehnique but I share what I know. Keep in mind that is better to improve in all the other practices and not have to come to this:

Stop all the touch stimulus and contract the muscles in the pre-ejaculatory stage, just when you reach the point of no return.

When the man reaches the pre-ejaculatory stage, he can perform the pelvic floor contraction, withdraw the penis and suspend any type of touch on the member for a while.

Liquid may not come out, and orgasm feelings may not occur, but the orgasm process occurs, arousal is reduced and the member falls a bit, but you keep the erection, and due to the post orgasm process, you can have sex without the refractory phase.

Improve your erection quality with the Angion method.

If you need to do a Kegel to get an erection, you're already halfway to an orgasm. Kegel-assisted erections usually come with a somewhat pleasurable sensation in the glans. Unfortunately, this sensation is like a tickle in the nose that causes a sneeze.

Ideally you need the member to become erect without even having to stimulate it with your hands. The Angion method is the best to improve erection quality. There is a sub on Reddit for you to check the excercise.

2. Things that work to improve duration.

Start the penetration or stimulation slowly:

By the way, most women prefer a gentle start. If you start very abruptly, you will not give your brain and nerves time to gradually adapt, and therefore any stimulus will be more intense.

The first 5 minutes are the most important. Think of the first 5 minutes as a vulva massage, where you use your penis to massage the vulva. Eventually you will notice that the sensations are not so overwhelming and you can start having sex at a higher intensity.

These first 2 to 5 minutes of vulva massage also stimulate her in a way that contribute to buid up the orgasm for her, but not for you.

Local anesthetic:

It is also called a topical anesthetic. They usually contain lidocaine; which is very effective. Benzocaine is also used but is less effective and has a shorter duration. There are creams with 20% lidocaine. It is used as a cream or spray. Lidocaine gets into the skin and numbs the nerves. The effect begins only 5 minutes after applying it and lasts up to 90 minutes.

It is placed inside the condom and placed on the glans, preventing it from touching the outside of the condom. The cream is massaged through the condom onto the glans and crown and left to act 15 minutes before sex. The cream form can deteriorate the latex and break it. The best is in spray.

It is important to wash your hands well and that the anesthetic does not touch the condom on the outside so as not to transfer the effect to the clitoris and vulva.

This anesthetic works the same as desensitizing the glans using the technique already mentioned above. But it can be used for a specific case. Once you have advanced in desensitization, it will not be necessary.

The negative thing about anesthetic is that it is inopportune, it may take effect too late for sexual intercourse, and the worst of all is that too much can numb the member and eliminate the erection. It is also uncomfortable to hold your anesthetic everywhere, etc.

Things that don't work to improve duration.

Seeing an urologist:

Seeing an urologist is in some way positive, because it helps you verify that you don't have physical disorders that cause short duration. But many of them don't even know the negative effects of porn, or say that it cannot be cured. Which can be counterproductive to your psyche and confidence.

What's worse, some may give you pharmacological treatment, or tell you that your nerves are simply very sensitive and that's how it works. Some of them sustain that if a man last more than 30 seconds or 60 seconds it's not premature ejaculation and you should not worry much. Tell that to a woman.

Drugs:

They only make you last a little longer, but they don't cure you and they are a nuisance. Plus they have side effects. Sertraline, or other serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), are often recommended since low levels of serotonin are what cause premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is caused by an alteration and deficiency of these neurotransmitters.

But it is full of cases of users who report that although at first it worked for them to last a little longer, the development of tolerance made the duration worse. And by leaving it they make its duration even worse.

4. Neurochemistry of orgasm.

Serotonin:

Serotonin increases the latency time of ejaculation (this is the main reason why SSRIs, as well as antidepressants, are prescribed for premature ejaculators), and inhibits the secretion of dopamine, which is one of the main sympathetic neurotransmitters.

Dopamine:

It seems that a high level of dopamine greatly modifies the autonomic system to favor the sympathetic system and ejaculation. In a premature ejaculator, the sympathetic system is overactive and the parasympathetic is absent. In this case you have to reduce the sympathetic and activate the parasympathetic. However, without enough dopamine there is no erection. Therefore, reducing dopamine is not recommended if you suffer from erectile dysfunction. Sleeping well, avoiding sweets and drugs is necessary for healthy dopamine levels.

Avoid sugar, smoke, weed smoke, fast food and drugs, since they all screw dopamine levels.

5. Supplements that help.

"Let your food be your medicine." —Hippocrates

The following are a good help, but always remember to learn about nutrition and have a good healthy diet. Start simple: get closer to the mediterranean diet, and quit foods from your diet if they have negative impact on you. Most common foods that are negative for some: milk and dairy, gluten (even for the ones who are not celiac), and corn.

"Make your food boring and your life interesting."
-Unkown

"One person's food is another's poison."
-Lucretius, Roman healer.

Magnesium.

It's a mineral. A little rock of metal. But it's necessary for almost 300 different functions in the body. It's necessary for producing ATP in all the cells, the basic energy of the whole body. It also calms the body. Activate the parasympathetic nervous sysyem. It will make you rest better, etc.

Forms:

Preferably use magnesium citrate, magnesium gluconate, magnesium glycinate since they are more bioabsorbable. There is a cheaper alternative: magnesium chloride. But it may make you go to the bathroom. Avoid magnesium oxide, since body can't absorb it. It's used as a diuretic.

From 200 to 500 mg per day.

Ginseng.

It's a root used in oriental medicine. All variants work. They increase libido. Very important for people who recently got rid of porn. But be cautious since libido can lead to porn habits again.

Zinc.

It is another small particle of metal. Body interprets it as a hormone. And it's necessary for creating testosterone. Low testosterone levels are linked to premature orgasm.

From 7 to 40 mg per day. Preferably around 15-20.

Vitamin D3 and K2.

Both work together to create testosterone.

D3: from 2000 to 10.000 IU per day. K2 around 100 mcg.

Ginger.

Another root and it's good for energy levels, some libido and testosterone.

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The rest is up to you.

Start small. Just one little thing at a time. Then another. Don't get lost on overwhelming thoughts of all the things you have to do.

Refuse to be a victim of resentment, fear or frustration. Refuse to be slave of your instincts and feelings. Instead, Let go of all the bad things and keep moving forward. You can feel angry or bad, but do something positive for you out of any emotion you have. Use your anger as the fuel to give you energy to start improving your life and the things around you.

Allow yourself the opportunity to shine.

"Don't forget to be happy, which is the only thing we are going to take with us after this life."
-Unkown

:)

So... Turns out that I can't make a post that has over 40 000 characters, yeah I guess I went a bit overboard.

The first part is here

So here is the second post and I will talk about the Neurological and psychological side of PE and what you can do about it.

3) Neurological

Most of you will have a basic understanding of the role of the nervous system in PE, but I will try to develop a bit while keeping it simple.

Your nervous system is separated between your your autonomic and somatic systems.

Your autonomic system is further separated between your Sympathetic (Mobilize your body to react to stress) and Parasympathetic system (Energy efficiency mode).

You will often hear that the Sympathetic will trigger ejaculation, and the Parasympathetic will delay it. This is not exactly true, Sympathetic activity control the emission phase of your ejaculation (semen flow out of your prostate to your urethra, THIS IS THE PONR) ; then Parasympathetic activity take the lead and control your expulsion phase, so your actual ejaculation and orgasm.

So while the above statement wasn't completely right it is true that reducing your Sympathetic activity and excitability will do the job by pushing back your PONR. And the slower you get to it, the easier it is to manage your arousal and delay your ejaculation if needed, because you will have more time to react and be in control.

So balancing your autonomic nervous system activity WILL NOT CURE YOU of PE in my opinion, but it is crucial as it gives you the means and the time window to slowly build up your arousal and use the skills you acquired during your various ways of training, solo or with your partner.

As I said at the beginning of the post, a few years ago I was prescribed SSRI by a specialist to adress my PE. And it actually did the trick, however I still wasn't in control of anything. When I had sex while on it, I kept thrusting or stimulating myself and my partner until I came, and I lasted sufficiently long but there was time that I would have liked to still keep having sex and I couldn't get myself to cool down and keep going.

So yeah in medical standard SSRI cured me of PE at that time, but I still didn't have the skills in my toolbox to be in control of anything and I believe this why I couldn't get rid of it completely. If at that time I had the education about what to do during sex, how to evaluate and tone up or down my arousal. and be able to move in a more efficient way during sex I wouldn't be here talking about this.

So if some of you guys are on SSRI and want to progressively get rid of it because it's a pain in the ass to take, try to train how to control yourself while you are on it, I regret to not have done it at the time.

So the issue with the autonomic nervous system is that it isn't under volition, however there is a few things you can do to influence it and I'm going to talk about this next.

I talked about SSRI because of one simple thing: Serotonin. And this is the first way you can try ton influence your Parasympathetic activation pattern.

Serotonin effect on the autonomous nervous system is a little obscure yet, however it has two interesting effects : net increase of ejaculatory latency time (this is the main reason why SSRI are prescribed, nor for the antidepressants part), and it inhibit the secretion of dopamine wich is one of the main Sympathetic neurotransmitter.

The issue is that you can't really take serotonin supplement, because as a neurotransmitter it doesn't cross the Blood-Brain Barrier, however there is a paper that shows that a supplement comprised of Rhodiola Rosea and Griffonia extract (which are extremely rich in 5HTP, a direct precursor to serotonin), statistically significantly improved IELT in a cohort of men having PE. Studies in rats show the same for Griffonia extract, with a better effect with acute intake vs chronic treatment. So I bought those 2 and took them for a few month once a day, I can't really evaluate if it improve my PE because I did so many things to fight it, however I did found some really impressive amelioration of my daily mood due to serotonin I guess. Nowadays I take one if I can when I know that I will have sex, a few hours before, like they did in the rat studies which I found only later.

Other way to increase your serotonin level include doing exercises, taking the sun (good luck this fall) and a few more.

Let's talk about another neurotransmitter, Dopamine, dopamine is believed to enhance libido, increase arousal and copulation pattern in both human and rats.

There is an interesting phenomenon that was studied in recently castrated Rats. In the followings weeks after a Rat is castrated, he will progressively lose his interest and capacity to copulate, however if he does initiate copulation with a female, he will ALWAYS come prematurely, or way faster that any non castrated rat. This is because after castration there is an increase in dopamine available for release in the blood stream, and it appears that high dopamine level heavily shift the autonomous system to favor ejaculation.

So, decreasing your dopamine level might prove to be beneficial if you suffer from PE, however I don't recommend you focusing on this if you have trouble with ED aswell because dopamine is also known to facilitate erection. (This is really simplified as high level of dopamine is also believed to be part of the reason why men have a refractory period after ejaculation, so can also inhibit erection).

So how to decrease your Dopamine level ?

One side effect of Griffonia extract that I talked about earlier is actually depleting dopamine level if you take it in the long run, however I'm not so sure that taking a supplement for prolonged time is a good thing so I personally refrain from taking it for too long.

Everything that has addictive effect is believed to increase your dopamine available and produce a dopamine spike when consumed, including Cigarettes, Caffein, SUGAR, every addictive drugs like Cocain, and actually Porn, lack of sleep and too much sleep aswell (yeah kinda weird but that's how it is).

So yeah, be healthy. I'm a heavy Coffee drinker (liters a day...), aswell as a smoker, I now refrain from drinking coffee and don't smoke near the time I might have sex to avoid that dopamine spike because I can't bear to quit yet. For porn aswell, I didn't quit totally but I try to masturbate and train without watching it, I do watch some on rare occasion.

So this it about what you can take or what lifestyle change you can make to balance things out, but what can you physically do to put your nervous system in a state that favor longer intercourse, both on a daily basis AND while having sex ?

There is only a few windows where you can consciously put yourself in a more Parasympathetic state, specific nerves stimulation (Some cranial nerves, Phrenic and Vagus nerve), meditation, hypnosis and relaxation which involve interoceptive stimulation (Interoception is the conscious and directed attention on how your body state is and what you feel).

I'm going to try to keep this short because it's really complicated and there might be a few scientifically inaccurate things as this is still an area of research and because it's not exactly my job my knowledge might be either out of date or too superficial. But I will try to explain things right.

So your Parasympathetic system have a few keys area of commands, mostly on your upper part of your body. Two important area are your vagus nerve (which control and slow your heart rate and breathing pace when it's not under your volition), and your brain stem which is the place where your cranial nerve emerge.

By stimulating those area, afferant signals will increase your Parasympathetic activity, and the more you do it, the more exitable those neurons will be so your body will have an easier time shifting to a calmer state.

The first of those stimulation is your breathing. Your Diaphragm is a really interesting muscle, because of it's relationship with the Vagus nerve, Phrenic nerve and the Heart.

Let's start with the heart, when you breath in your diaphragm contract and go down pushing against your viscera, when this happen the pressure inside your chest become more negative and your lungs filled themselves with air. As the pressure decrease around your Heart as well, your heart rate will go up to compensate and avoid high blood pressure inside your arteries (because the pressure around them is diminished it's equal to increased net pressure inside).

When you breath out this is the opposite, your pressure around your heart will become more positive, so it will have to slow down his pace to avoid low blood pressure.

This switching of pace is controlled by your autonomic nervous system, thus there is net increased in sympathetic activity during inhalation (we want to avoid that) and net increase of Parasympathetic activation during exhalation.

So here comes the breathing technique : 4-7-8

4sec deep inhalation, 7 sec hold to encourage the shifting from sympathetic to Parasympathetic, 8 sec slow exhalation to intensify that Parasympathetic stimulation.

You can do this before sex, during sex, to practice, or just to relax on a daily basis.

During sex you will want to at least breath deeply and focus on doing slow exhalation, it doesn't have to be 8 sec necessarily but you exhalation need to be longer than your inhalation to encourage Parasympathetic regulation.

There is a loooot of different breathing techniques that you can try, actually just breathing deeply and slowly through your belly will signal to your body that there is no danger around and your Parasympathetic activity will increase.

You can even try something else (I do it when I need to cool down fast), deep breath in, and slow breath out with your mouth while pinching your lips.

Pinching your lips will do two things, first it will further increase intrathoracic pressure as airflow is restricted and will push against your lungs wall, so your heart rate will need to further decrease to maintain adequate blood pressure, second it will stimulate your Vagus nerve that we will talk about.

I find it sufficiently sufficiently discreet if you do without exhaling too hard so don't pinch too much if you don't want your partner to notice it.

So in conclusion, slow deep breathing, engaging your diaphragm (no superficial breathing with your chest), and exhalation longer than inhalation preferably.

Let's talk about the Vagus nerve now. It start from your brain stem (it's a cranial nerve aswell) and go all the way down to your belly while crossing your diaphragm. He inervate your trachea, inside of your lungs, and regulate lots of the function of your body like heart rate, blood pressure, digestion etc...

He is used by searchers to evaluate the amount of Parasympathetic activity in studies, by defining something called Vagal Tone.

To simplify, Vagal tone is kind of the "strength" of your vagus nerve, and thus the "strenght" of your Parasympathetic nervous system.

The good news is that it can be stimulated to help you relax during stress or sexual intercourse (mostly by breathing deeply), and the even more good news is that it can be trained to produce better response while stimulated and to overall increase your baseline Sympathetic activity.

There is really a lot of paper about this because there is a novel type of treatment for epilepsy that include electrical stimulation of the Vagus nerve to improve vagal tone because it is believed that reduced Parasympathetic activity is part of the problem in seizure episodes.

Other than electeical stimulation, there is 3 ways to do that : nutrition, psychological stress reduction and physical activity.

I will skip the nutrition side because I'm really not competent to give recommendations or explanation about that, but feel free to do some research if you are interested.

Psychological stress reduction include slow breathing exercises, I talked about the 4-7-8 method, this work. But if you want to really target your vagal tone, the best breathing exercise according to the literature seems to be the cardiac coherence technique, it is a technique that aim to synchronize your breathing frequency with your heart rate, (something like 6 respiration/min, for 5min 3 times a day), it shows good result according to study to improve your vagal tone. Google it for more detailed explanation, it's easy to find as it is really popular.

Vocalizing and gargarism are weird but directly stimulate your Vagus nerve by making your larynx vibrate which he is the motor and sensory nerve. So if you want to try, feel free.

Last but not least, all kind of meditation, hypnosis and especially mindfulness directly improve your vagal tone. Because the Vagus nerve is responsible for a lot of interoceptive sensations, he is the main vector of signals between a lot of part in your body and your brain.

So this why focusing your attention on your whole body, the way it move, how it feels other than what are your genitals feeling during sex is so beneficial. It doesn't serve to redirect your attention somewhere else so you can forget about your penis, it directly transmit information to your brain by your Vagus nerve and result in an increase in Parasympathetic tone, just like belly breathing.

When I first saw a specialist a few years ago, he asked me to do something call Autogenic Training of Shultz, if you are a stranger to meditation and mindfulness, you can begin with this. It's super simple and repetitive so I think it's nice as an introductionary practice.

Finally, all kind of medium to high intensity physical training will improve your vagal tone in the long run. The best way to do it is Cardio training, especially HIIT and Split Cardio Training (I personally do split and I saw some good improvement in my heart rate around 2 weeks after I began).

How does is work : The benefit of split training or hiit (High Intensity Intermittent Training) is that it directly train and challenge your Heart Rate Recovery (HRR). HRR is the ability of your vagus nerve to quickly tone down your heart rate at the end of an effort, it is how fast you are able to switch from Sympathetic during the high intensity effort, to Parasympathetic when you walk or rest before resuming training.

So training like that will help you get more Parasympathetic activation in general, and will help you shift from one to another more efficiently. So for exemple during sex, the impact of breathing and muscle relaxation to cool down will be improved because your vagus nerve and Parasympathetic system will be more efficient at activating itself and inhibiting your Sympathetic activation.

Lastly there is other ways to improve your Parasympathetic state and work on your anxiety, I won't go in detail with those because I don't know enough about it. The only thing I tried is an introductionary session of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) on YouTube, I think you can find some pretty easily.

The principle consist of evoking and thinking of stressful or traumatizing situation or event (like anxiety about penetrative sex, or thinking of how your PE began), and view this situation in different way by emitting joyful thought and desire (like I would have liked to be more confident, have more control over myself). This is then accompanied by eyes movement from right to left at different speed by following an object, and then repeat, every time you repeat you evaluate how thinking of the stressful situation make you feel, better than before or not.

This therapy is actually heavily backed by science, the mechanism behind this is that thinking of the stressful event will activate your Sympathetic nervous system, the joyfull thinking will do the opposite and the eyes movements will stimulate your occulomotor nerve (cranial nerve that I talked about before) and increase the secretion of Acetylcholine in your body which is a Parasympathetic neurotransmitter.

So basically what it does is desensitize yourself by stimulating the suppressing effect that your Parasympathetic system has on your Sympathetic.

It is mainly used to treat PTSD, and produce good result, and I personally believe that PE and especially lifelong PE is kinda like PTSD in the way it impact your daily life.

This is it for the Neurological part, next is the psychological and it will be quite short unfortunately.

4) Psychological

I will be honest with you, I still fcking struggle with that.

I'm still not confident in myself, when I don't have sex for a week or even a few days, I'm still scared as fuck that it will come back even though I understand the mechanism and I have the skills to control my arousal unlike before.

The thing with this is that arousal, anxiety, and stress and depressive state share a lot of similar point:

Increased muscle tone, Sympathetic overflow, lack of serotonin available for release (mainly for depression), superficial breathing, and much more.

So if you have other area in your life where you experience stress, anxiety or sadness, try to fix those first. It is sure to play a part and it might even be the cause for acquired PE for some of you.

I hope that the more I get successful in my sexual encounter the lesser it will impact me, and to be honest writing this whole post, looking back at all that I searched and did, knowing that maybe some of you guys will be able to improve their sexlife either completely or even a little by reading this make me feel good, and kinda proud of taking the time to share (I fucking took 3 days to write and remember all this hahaha).

So keep up the hope guys, I now have an nearly normal sex life and the more I have sex the more fulfilling it becomes.

Thank you for reading to this point, cheers !

Every time someone asks me what reverse kegels I'll be sending them to this post.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PE_injuries/comments/p9xd8e/forward_and_reverse_kegel_4_basic_movements/

Full credits to u/nupru-nero for putting this together and I'm turning it to a sticky post.

I'm copying and pasting it in case he ever deletes his accounts and his post for whatever reason and the content is lost.

The Link above takes you to the original post that contains the discussion as well and it's better formatted and I highly recommend you do that instead.

Enjoy

Revised edition 2021-09-13

I often read in the comments that guys don't know how to make a bowling pin for a man. This post has been created for clarification.

FOUR MAIN MOVES:1. Straight Kegel

Kegel is movement done by clenching and then relaxing the muscles just behind testicles and between the testicles and anus. While clenching anus muscles should move as little as possible or (at the lather stages) not at all.

How to perform:While urinating you should try and stop the urine midstream, that will help you to identify the muscles needed to preform a kegel movement. The other way you can learn to do it is to get an erection and then try to bob your penis. Do note that the kegel exercises itself are not preformed while urinating, that is just to help identify the muscles needed for the kegel movement.

2. Reverse Front Kegel

Reverse kegel is movement which is meant to relax the muscles of the pelvic floor and make them more flexible. It is done by relaxing, expanding or inflating the lower belly/abs, and the area between the testicles and anus. While performing this movement anus muscles should move as little as possible or (at the lather stages) not at all.

How to perform**:**While urinating you should try and speed up the flow of the urine, that is the reverse kegel movement. Do note that the reverse kegel exercises itself should not be performed while urinating, this is just to identify the muscles that need to move.

3. Straight Back Kegel ( Root lock)

A root lock is a movement done by clenching and then relaxing the muscles around the anus (external anal sphincter muscle). When preforming this movement all other pelvic floor muscles and lower abs should move as little as possible.

How to perform**:**While defecating you should try and stop the process by tightening your anal muscles. Do note that the root lock exercises itself should not be performed while defecating, this is just to identify the muscles that need to move.

4. Reverse back kegel ( Reverse root lock )

Reverse root lock is an movement which is meant to relax the muscles of the pelvic floor and make then more flexible. It is done by relaxing, expanding or inflating the muscles around the anus (external anal sphincter muscle). While performing this exercise other pelvic floor muscles and lower belly/abs should move as little as possible.

How to perform**:**You are performing it every time you go to defecate and try to push the feces out. Do note that the reverse root lock exercises itself should not be performed while defecating, this is just to identify the muscles that need to move.

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CONFUSION WITH REVERSE KEGELS

WHAT ARE REVERSE KEGELS

First let me make sure you know what a reverse kegel is.A reverse kegel is a stretching exercise which is meant to relax the muscles of your pelvic floor and make them more flexible, Just the same as if you were stretching any other skeletal muscle in your body.As opposed to kegels that strengthen and tone your pelvic floor muscles.Both exercises are needed to create a balanced pelvic floor.

FRONT AND BACK REVERSE KEGELS

Front Reverse Kegels

Front reverse kegels target and isolate your BC muscle, this is the muscle that wraps around the inner part of the penis and causes involuntary contractions. A front reverse kegel will stretch and loosen the BC muscle from around the inner part of your penis (the bulb) allowing better blood flow in and out of the penis as opposed to a regular kegel with will pump more blood into the penis and trap it there by contracting around the inner part of the penis.

Remember those contractions aren’t a bad thing, they occur for a purpose. That being to expel ejaculate and urine at force out of the urethral canal.But due to factors like bad marturbation habits and overstimulation to things like hardcore porn as well as other factors can lead to an unbalance pelvic floor. This causes involuntary contractions to happen more frequently than they should, sometimes continuously. Speeding your way to the PONR a lot quicker than you’d like rather than the natural progression to the PONR you would have if you had a balanced pelvic floor.

That's why it's important to isolate the muscles so that you decide when to let those contractions occur making you cum or using a front reverse kegel to stretch and relax your BC muscle pushing back the PONR.

This is why I always recommend to those with premature ejaculation to start by learning to isolate their BC muscle with front reverse kegels.

Back Reverse Kegels

Back reverse kegels target your PC and IC muscles. This exercise is good if the back of your pelvic floor is tense. This area is rarely as out of balance as the front due to the fact that most people who are overtraining do so with the front and therefore don’t need as much attention as the front to begin with.When you’ve successfully isolated front reverse kegels and brought balance to that area by gaining control over your involuntary contractions you might want to learn to have DO’s or MMO’s and to do that you will need to strengthen the whole of your pelvic floor by doing both front and back regular kegels.

It’s then that back reverse kegels will become more important. Because as you work the back of your pelvic floor with back kegels it’s going to tense up so you’ll need to be able to reverse back kegel in order to stretch and relax that area of your pelvic floor so that your muscles remain flexible.

KEGELS STRONGER THAN REVERSE KEGELS

It’s often described that some people find reverse kegels are harder to do because there kegels are stronger than their reverse kegels and I believe this has a part to play in leading some to think that reverse kegels are a strengthening exercise when there really a stretching exercise.So I’d like to clear that up. When someone says this what is really meant is that your ability and control of your reverse kegels is not yet advanced enough to successfully counter the contractions from your pelvic floor muscles.What it doesn’t mean is there is two opposing muscles where one is weaker than the other rendering them out of balance like the bicep and the tricep for example.

PISS, FART AND DEFECATE

You’ll often be told that to identify the area you want to stretch that a front reverse kegel feels like you’re taking a piss and that a back reverse kegel is like farting or defecating.

NOTE: When people describe it in those terms there doing it so you get a general idea of what each one feels like and the muscles you should be targeting. When actually doing the exercises you shouldn't actually feel like you're about to pee, fart or defecate. If you do then you're pushing too hard.

BREATHING

Keep breathing, it may seem obvious but the fact is that some people hold their breath when doing reverse kegels and normal kegels for that matter. When you hold your breath you cause tension in your body and that is counter productive in doing these exercises. So I’ll say it again, Keep breathing.Whether that’s regular light breathing or deep breathing from your diaphragm just make sure you don’t hold your breath.

Reverse Kegel Breathing (Meditative Reverse Kegels)

TIPS TO HELP ISOLATION

• When trying each exercise some find them easier on their back to start with while some find it easier to stand. So experiment to find what’s best for you.

• Slowly do a light front kegel then reverse it into a light front reverse kegel so that feel the difference between the pull and the push of the two different exercises in that targeted area. You can do the same for back kegels as well.

• When doing front kegels you can use your diaphragm to help with the stretch by pushing it out but when doing this keep your abs relaxed

• When doing reverse kegel if you feel around the base of your penis and your perineum the muscles should be relaxed and loose, there should not be any tension. You can do a light kegel then reverse kegel to feel the difference with your fingers.

• Keep your back straight whether you’re laying down or standing.

WHAT NOT TO DO

• Do not push too hard

• Do not strain yourself

• Do not hold your breath

• Do not reverse kegel while doing any exercise that engages your core. (sex being the exception to the rule)

HOW TO REVERSE KEGEL

I've already said that reverse kegels aren't a strength exercise so your body should not be tense when doing them so that's what you need to work on first, letting your muscles relax while doing them.These exercises can be difficult for someone who has never done them before especially if you have a very tight pelvic floor so be patient with yourself if you don’t feel like you’re doing them straight away and keep practicing the exercises as described while paying close attention to your body specifically the area you’re trying to work and you’ll find them easier in time as your ability improves as well as being able to feel the subtle movements in the area you’re focusing on.

Front reverse kegel

Level - beginner / Force - Light to firmDone at flaccid or 30-40% engorged

1. Find the position that’s right for you be that laying down or standing up

2. Relax your body and clear your mind of tension. You want to be relaxed so that blood flows freely to your penile area and your pelvic floor.

3. Focus on pushing out the muscle at the base of your penis (where your penis meets your body) while keeping the rest of the pelvic area as relaxed as possible. It can help to visualize the muscle expand like a balloon. This can cause your penis fill with blood giving you a flushed flaccid.

4. Aim to hold this for 10 sec. To start with you may find that hard so try 5 sec or 3 and work your way up. For however long you hold the stretch allow the same time to rest between reps. The force should be between light and firm. You should never be straining yourself, if you are then you're pushing too hard.

5. Repeat the above for 10 min. When you become more advanced you can increase the time and the length of the holds

Once you’ve mastered this exercise in one position you’ll then be able to do it in others until you’re able to do them while moving around barely even having to concentrating on doing them.

Back reverse kegel

Level - beginner / Force - Light to firmDone at flaccid or 30-40% engorged

1. Again find the best position for you but for this one I recommend standing because it’s just easier.

2. Relax your body and clear your mind of tension. You want to be relaxed so that blood flows freely to your pelvic floor.

3. Now focus on your perineum just in front of your bum hole and push down and slightly back. If it helps you can imagine a piece of string or something similar attached to that same part of you and imagine it being pulled down and back. The force light to firm just as before, you should never be straining yourself.

4. Aim to hold this for 10 sec. To start with you may find that hard so try 5 sec or 3 and work your way up. For however long you hold the stretch allow the same time to rest between reps.

5. Repeat the above for 10 min. When you become more advanced you can increase the time and the length of the holds

Pelvic floor breathing

Level - IntermediateDone flaccid or 30-40% engorged

1. Again find the best position for you but for this one I recommend standing because it’s just easier.

2. Relax your body and clear your mind of tension. You want to be relaxed so that blood flows freely to your pelvic floor.

3. Start by slowly doing a front kegel lightly (not hard and tense like a normal front kegel) then reverse it slowly into a front reverse kegel. This should be done slowly and controlled.

4. Repeat this for 1 min then rest for 1 min

5. Do this for 10 min. Over time you can increase the length of the exercise.

As the name suggests it should feel like your pelvic floor is breathing.

Anal breathing

Level - IntermediateDone flaccid or 30-40% engorged

1. Again find the best position for you but for this one I recommend standing because it’s just easier.

2. Relax your body and clear your mind of tension. You want to be relaxed so that blood flows freely to your pelvic floor.

3. Start by slowly doing a back kegel lightly (not hard and tense like a normal back kegel) then reverse it slowly into a back reverse kegel. This should be done slowly and controlled.

4. Repeat this for 1 min then rest for 1 min

5. Do this for 10 min. Over time you can increase the length of the exercise.

Two point reverse kegels

Level - AdvancedDone flaccid or 30-40% engorged

1. Again find the best position for you but for this one I recommend standing because it’s just easier.

2. Relax your body and clear your mind of tension. You want to be relaxed so that blood flows freely to your pelvic floor.

3. For your starting position your pelvic floor should be completely relaxed. From here you're going to slowly go into a front reverse kegel hold for 10 sec then slowly return to the start point keeping control of the stretch all the way.

4. Rest for 10 sec

5. Next from the start position you’re going to slowly do a back reverse kegel and then hold it for 10 sec then slowly bring it back to the start point again controlling it all the way

6. Rest for 10 sec

7. Repeat that for 10 min. Over time you can increase the length of the exercise to suit you.

Note: No muscles should be tensed during this exercise and remember your breathing.

Alternating kegels

Level - AdvancedDone flaccid or 30-40% engorged (can be done at full erection but requires a lot of control)

These kegels can be done for the front and the back but I’m only going to describe it once but know you can apply it to both.

1. Again find the best position for you but for this one I recommend standing because it’s just easier.

2. Relax your body and clear your mind of tension. You want to be relaxed so that blood flows freely to your pelvic floor.

3. Do a hard front kegel and hold for 10 sec

4. Then release and go straight into a front reverse kegel and hold for 10 sec

5. The above should be done controlled

6. Do these for 1 min and then rest for 1 min for a total of 10 min

7. Again with experience you can increase the time of the holds or the exercise time or both.

BEGINNER ROUTINES

When choosing a beginner's routine take into account why you’re doing it in the first place.If you suffer from premature ejaculation I strongly recommend you focus on isolating your BC muscle with front reverse kegels. In the more rare case that it’s the back of your pelvic floor that’s too tense then focus on back reverse kegels to start with.

I find that the best ratio for balance is 70:30 or 60:40 reverse kegels to kegels. Your goal should be finding the right ratio for you.If you have a very strong kegel reaction that you don’t feel you have the ability yet to combat with reverse kegel then I sometimes suggest doing a reverse kegel only routine for a couple of weeks.NOTE: You shouldn’t do a reverse kegel only routine indefinitely this could cause a weakening of the pelvic floor muscles that could make it difficult to cum or even maintain an erection.

TIP - Because stretching the pelvic floor is the same as stretching any other muscle it’s beneficial to a few reverse kegels before and after doing kegels.

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EDGING AND REVERSE KEGELS

When edging, reverse kegels (specifically front reverse kegel) are used before the PONR in order to push it back or at any time you feel unwanted contractions.Doing them stretches and relaxes the pelvic floor (the BC muscle in particular) allowing blood to flow more freely and naturally in and out of the penis decreasing sensitivity and tension in the area.Reverse kegels done at or to close to the PONR can have the opposite effect and cause you to cum. Even without the involuntary contractions associated with ejaculation causing the cum to just pour out the end of your penis.

Reverse kegels can be done while you're still edging but for some who are really sensitive may find that is too hard to begin with. In that case just stop edging while you reverse kegel then start up again when the area’s relaxed.Your aim should be to be able to reverse kegel when you need to while still egding, but take it slow and work your way up to it.You want to get to the point where you can reverse kegel instinctually and easily when you need to, to counter any unwanted spasms you get when edging or during sex.Because that’s the whole point, to be able to do these easily and naturally while having sex so that you can pretty much choose when you want to cum.When your pelvic floor is balance you don’t even need to think about kegels or reverse kegels during sex because your pelvic floor is naturally relaxed.

NOTE: When edging do it to physical stimulation alone or your fantasies not porn or porn fantasies.Edge slowly, retrain any bad habits. There's no need to rush

**NOTE:**Reverse kegels - pushes back the PONR and stops involuntary contractions.

Kegels - Increase sensitivity but will stop you cumming at the PONR. (this requires strength and timing)

EDGING EXERCISES

Start/stop

When edging use front reverse kegels to stop spasms while working your way up to your PONR. Then stopping and holding a front kegel to stop yourself cumming.When the need to cum passes release the kegel and go straight into a front reverse kegel to stretch and relax the muscle once again. Then repeat.

I don’t recommend cumming after ever edging session. Once every 3 - 7 days let your self cum.

Chasing the PONR

When doing this the goal is only to reach the PONR once.When edging counter ever spasm just before it occurs with a front reverse kegel.If you don’t know your body well enough yet to tell when a spasm is about to occur then just counter them when they do occur.You want to be always pushing the PONR back every time it starts to get near with front reverse kegels.Eventually you won't be able to push it back anymore and then you have two options.

1. let yourself cum.or

2. Kegel to stop yourself from cumming.

Again I don’t recommend cumming after every edging session. Let yourself go ever 3-7 days.

TIP - Get to know feeling of your PONR and involantry contrations so that you can counter them before they occur.

**SIDE NOTE:**On the mental side of things don’t try and distract yourself from the pleasure you feel because it’s too intense and you're afraid of not lasting.It’s your pleasure you're feeling so own it. Immerse yourself in it so you get used to it and enjoy it. Look forward to the pleasure and let that be the reason you want it to last longer because the longer you last the more pleasure you receive.

When you change how you think about a situation you change how your body reacts in that situation.

Another option when edging is to try for a dry orgasm.Here’s Minuteman's guide for more on that.https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...asm-guide.html

PELVIC STRETCHING

It's a good idea to combine reverse kegels with stretching exercises for optimum effect.

Stretching is a great way to relieve tension and increase flexibility and taking the time to perform a few simple stretches on a daily basis will not only help people with premature ejaculation caused by pelvic tension but also help prevent possible injury in the future.

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The Dangers of Excessive Kegeling

They write to me:

For example, I had no idea that you can do a reverse Kegel. I did a lot of straight pins and it made my condition worse. Last year I only did a straight kegel, at first I did a rest, but for some reason I forgot about it and did 1000 cuts a day. Even when I wrote down the toilet, I automatically did a straight Kegel, because of this it seemed that not all the urine was coming out.

My answer:

That's the problem, there are hundreds of guides for men on the Internet that advise doing muscle contractions 1000-2000 BCM (straight Kegel), which is fantastic ignorance and harm to health! And almost nothing is written about the reverse type in such reference books! Treat such leaders critically!

We have a very special post today, from one of our amazing moderators, HansTwilight.  HansTwilight talks today about the dangers of excessive Kegeling.  Derived from his own personal (and painful) experience, he gives us unique insight into what can happen when you get too much of a good thing.

“Kegels, Kegels, and more Kegels!”

This appears to be the primary advice given by guides on the internet instructing men on improving their erections, stamina, and ejaculation force.  Although these claims are true, this advice is very vague and totally irresponsible.

As with all male enhancement exercises, whether it’s weightlifting, cardio, penis enlargement exercises, there is always a risk of injury associated with them, especially doing simple Kegels exercises.   This article hopes to point out the risks associated with the abuse of Kegel exercises and how to avoid falling victim to some of the horror stories men have posted after having abused such exercises.  I will also mention some of the treatment options for these conditions as well.  Note that I am not a doctor, and I always recommend seeing a licensed physician to get a proper assessment.

I will first begin by establishing the common conditions that appear from abusing the Kegel, they are as listed:

• Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PFD)

• Chronic Prostatitis/Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome (CP/CPPS)

• Levator Ani Syndrome

• Hard Flaccid (HF)

Some of these are conditions you have probably never heard of, which is what makes things more complicated for men who see their doctors and are unsatisfied when the doctor sees no issues.  That is because most of these conditions are not acknowledged by all medical communities, especially if the patient is living in a 3rd world country.  It is my hope that these types of conditions will become more mainstream within the next decade or so.

“So Hans, what are these conditions and how do they occur?”

The first three conditions on the list are all caused by doing too many Kegel exercises.  The last one (hard flaccid) is one that has many different possible causes, from stimulant use to severe anxiety, but they all involve the pelvic region.

The ideology behind the pelvic floor muscles is although they are skeletal muscles, they are still different because they never stop working. If they did, we would be incontinent.  Because of this, I hypothesize they are, for lack of a better word, naive; they can be trained very easily.  That being said, it’s paramount to follow a Kegel routine that also involves reverse Kegels.  This allows the pelvic floor to maintain balance.

When the individual does too many Kegels, the pelvic floor can become overactive, tensing when it is not supposed to.  A lot of this tension occurs in response to stress, and the medical community is becoming more aware now that some men (and women) are holding their stress in the pelvic floor which is a huge factor in many PFD cases.

“Hans, what is your definition of hard flaccid?”

Good question. In my opinion, hard flaccid is a vague term describing a bodily function that is perfectly normal.  Exercising and weight lifting are common causes of hard flaccid.  The problem is when the hard flaccid doesn’t go away, “Chronic Hard Flaccid” (a term I coined) is where the penis becomes hyper contracted, making erections impossible.  A lot of people have their own way of defining it, but I think that the underlined sentence best describes what it is.  In my opinion, the most common cause of hard flaccid is repressed anxiety.

“So then how do I avoid these conditions from happening to me?”

The important thing to keep in mind when doing Kegels is that less is more.  You don’t need to do tons and tons of reps in order to strengthen the muscle, you need to focus on a high intensity/low volume routine.  I have instructions on an example routine in my protocol, pink section.

Another important thing to remember is that you should never Kegel while you are stretching your penis. This can cause the BC muscle to pull, and it can lead to full blown PFD and hard flaccid, at least it did for me. (Read: Tug of War Theory)

“What should I do if I have any of these conditions?”

First things first, relax.  Worrying will only worsen the condition, and anxiety will only make you more tense.  You need to see a doctor to rule out any other anomalies that might be present.  Next, you should speak with your doctor on pelvic floor physiotherapy.  The can be hard to find if you are not living in the US or UK, but there are websites you can use to find them.  Finally, seeing a mental health professional is also important.

The Bottom Line

Male enhancement is becoming more popular nowadays, but the risk is still present, and the potential for injuries is no different.  One must do their research and approach these exercises with caution in order to see success.  I strongly advise using the type of Kegel routine mentioned in my protocol and always implementing reverse Kegels, it could save you from having to deal with the same agonizing pain I dealt with.  It’s unfortunate that very few people are aware of these risks, but as the male enchantment field grows, the awareness of injury must as well.  I ask that these words be spread to everyone in this community, so we can ensure that men trying to improve their sexual health will be able to do so as safely as possible.

***************************Reverse Kegels

Reverse Kegels are subtle, and for some, even complex movements. You should barely feel it. Do not strain your stomach too much, this is wrong (it prevents you from breathing and concentrating). However, you still have to engage your abdominal muscles, but only slightly.How do you manage to do this? The answer is focus.Meditation (AT), breathing, relaxation. Use all of these to connect your mind to your pelvic floor. Make maximum 100% mental effort to relax your pelvic floor muscles.But where to focus? For me, the stress point is just above the anus. It is actually quite close to it, but the Reverse Kegel should not involve the anal muscles (the anus will relax with Reverse Kegel, but this is more the result of relaxing the entire pelvic floor, not just relaxing the anus muscles). Imagine a balloon inflating over your anus. For me, the most important part was to focus on the area around the anus, perhaps a couple of centimeters from it. This is the point where the most tension hits me.If you feel tingling, tingling, tickling, this is a good sign. If you feel this, stick with what you are doing. This is how you should feel at first. This means that your muscles are starting to weaken. Then you can relax for a split second. And then, after that, you will be able to hold the Reverse Kegel longer (but this is difficult to understand, since the movement is very subtle).It's actually pretty simple. Train your mind.

Guys, there are a lot of different kegel options, they represent a combination of 4 basic kegel movements. By mastering different methods, you can greatly improve your sexual health, I personally advise you to study and apply the material on kegels here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PE_injuries/comments/pcu86z/minutemans_kegel_master_list_movements_variations/

I am often asked why it is dangerous to do a lot of straight kegel exercises. Such nonsense is advised for men by online guides.I answer:The straight kegel is the BCM compression. He trains BCM. It is not good for penis erection. The strong BCM compresses the corpus spongiosum of the penis, which interferes with the normal flow of blood into the glans of the penis. Therefore, the glans of the penis is soft during erection.The erection of the penis is made by the ICM - it is a very weak muscle. She is a BCM antagonist. If you do a straight pins, it trains and strengthens the BCM and weakens the ICM very much.

***

(It's a pity, but you can't edit message headers on Reddit ... I wanted to write here about injuries too ... Then I'd better create another message and link to it here)

Afternoon All,

Initially I uploaded this document to the r/AngionMethod subreddit, a place for men looking to enlarge their manhood by vascular adaptation.

While I'm not here to talk about that, the mod u/GQ1111 from this subreddit thought that the information I presented would be incredibly helpful to the men in this subreddit and asked me to post it here.

To get down to brass tacks, I spent 12+ hours straight typing up what I am confidently touting as the definitive guide to mastering your arousal and orgasm as a man.

I based this information on my academic knowledge from my Masters Degree in Exercise Science and Physiology, further research, and my own personal experience.

I have gone through what many of other men in this subreddit have gone through trying to battle this issue. All the tricks you may have tried I have tried too. I know how much it hurts and how frustrating and utterly hopeless it can feel.

By following this program, I fixed it. And because I've cured myself of this issue, I'm confident you can do the same.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MAY 7TH 2025 UPDATE

As of this date, all information pertaining to the Definitive Guide can now be found at the following subreddit.

r/MaleDefinitiveGuide

First off, this is a repost because the mods removed for some reason, and i got a lot of comments about my text being AI. I want to clarify that English is NOT my first language, I wrote the text MYSELF and made ChatGPT correct the text for me, and make it more understandable and easier to read!

Here it goes:)

As the title says, I finally beat this shit. And I’m honestly still in shock. I’ve used this forum a lot during my struggle, so I feel like I owe it to give something back — especially to those of you who feel completely stuck right now.

Before anything else, I need to say this clearly: premature ejaculation does not have one single cause. There is no universal fix. That’s exactly why so many people try everything and still get nowhere.

What actually matters is finding your root cause.

And I strongly believe that my root cause is the same one a lot of guys here have.

⸻

How it started

Like most guys, I masturbated a lot when I was younger. That alone isn’t the problem. The problem is how I masturbated.

Over time, my habit became this: find the most stimulating porn possible and finish as fast as I could. No buildup, no gradual arousal, no awareness of what my body was doing. Just straight from nothing to ejaculation. I did this consistently for years.

My brain learned one very clear pattern: sexual stimulation = urgency = finish immediately.

So when I started having sex, the same thing happened. Blowjobs, penetration — it didn’t matter. I would be “fine” one second and then suddenly be at the point of no return. There was no gradual buildup, no warning signs, no middle ground. Just 0 to 100.

At first, I brushed it off. Then it kept happening. For almost a year.

That’s when the frustration really started.

⸻

The long, confusing part

Most of my journey was spent misdiagnosing the problem.

First I thought my pelvic floor was weak. Then I thought it was too tight. Then anxiety. Then sensitivity. Then hormones. Then something else.

I tried exercises, techniques, tricks — nothing really changed.

What made this so hard is that once this pattern is ingrained, it feels like a reflex. You’re not choosing to lose control — it just happens. Trying harder doesn’t help, because the problem isn’t effort. It’s conditioning.

The breakthrough came when I finally connected the dots: years of rushed masturbation trained my nervous system to associate arousal with immediate ejaculation.

It sounds obvious in hindsight. Almost embarrassing. But it took me a long time to truly understand it.

⸻

What actually fixed it

Once I found the root cause, the solution became clear.

The brain is plastic. It adapts. Habits can be replaced if you repeat a new pattern often enough. That’s where the so-called “fap training” comes in — and no, this is not edging.

The goal is not to get close to orgasm and fight it. That only reinforces the problem.

The goal is to teach your brain that stimulation does not automatically mean ejaculation.

To explain this simply: arousal isn’t on/off. It’s a scale. Let’s say from 0 to 10. Before, my body jumped straight from 0 to 9 without me feeling anything in between.

Training taught me what 3 feels like. What 4 feels like. What 5 feels like.

I would stimulate myself slowly and stay in the middle of the scale — aroused, but clearly far from ejaculation. If things intensified, I didn’t push through. I relaxed my body, especially my pelvic floor, slowed my breathing, and let the arousal drop naturally.

In the beginning, I couldn’t even touch myself without my pelvic floor automatically tightening. That tension was a reflex I had trained into my body. Over time, that reflex disappeared because I stopped reinforcing it.

One important thing: in the early training days, don’t worry about doing it “right.” Don’t pressure yourself. Don’t test your limits. The only goal at first is to observe. Where am I on the scale? What happens in my body when arousal rises? Where do I tense up?

Once you’ve trained long enough, something changes. Control stops being forced. You start being able to up-regulate and down-regulate arousal almost mentally, just by shifting focus, breathing, and relaxing your body. It becomes automatic.

Progress does not come from intensity. It comes from repetition and awareness.

Your brain doesn’t learn from how hard you train — it learns from what you repeat.

⸻

About the “66 days fap training” post

There is a very popular post on this forum called “66 days fap training” that explains the practical side of this method in much more detail — how to stimulate, how to pace yourself, and what to focus on.

I highly recommend reading it.

You can find it by sorting the forum by most popular posts of all time. It should be either number one or number two.

That said, understand this: brains don’t all adapt at the same speed. For some people, it may take more than 66 days. For others, less.

In my case, I saw solid, consistent, and satisfying results in about half that time. What matters most is consistency and awareness — not hitting an exact number of days.

⸻

The result

After a few weeks of consistent training, something shifted.

I wasn’t constantly monitoring myself anymore. I didn’t feel like I was “holding something back”. Control became automatic instead of forced.

Then came the real test: sex.

And this is the part that still blows my mind.

I recently had sex and lasted over 20 minutes. No panic. No sudden loss of control. No mental tricks. I was present, aroused, relaxed — and fully in control.

I even struggled to finish, which I never thought I’d experience in my life.

This wasn’t because I distracted myself or numbed sensation. It was because my body had finally learned a new pattern.

⸻

Final thoughts

If you’re reading this and feel hopeless, please hear this:

You’re probably not broken. You’re probably trained.

Find your root cause. Be brutally honest about your habits. And stop chasing tricks — this is about re-educating your nervous system.

Once you do that, things can change faster than you think.

1. Accept that you can't fix it today. It will take 3 - 12 months minimum.

2. Stretch your pelvic floor. It's too tight and you need to get rid of the tension. The extended child's pose is effective. Also, download the app "Splits Training" and do the program every morning. No skipping.

3. Do your kegels and reverse kegels. You need to learn to control your PC muscle. It's like your chest muscles. If you practice enough you can flex and relax them too.

4. Calm your breathing during sex. Breath in your stomach, not your chest. Practice this while masturbating.

5. Learn about how your arousal behaves. You need to be able to tell on a scale from 1 to 10 where you currently are. You need this awareness to master your stamina. Pay attention during sex and masturbation.

6. Stop being ashamed of it. Lots of dudes have this problem. I am more than surprised that this community has only 10k members. There are millions just like you.

7. Tell your sexual partners about it. You can get them off with your hands or mouth. It's much easier for them to orgasm from that anyways.

8. Be consistent. You are now excited about changing things. How's your sentiment in a week or a month without any measurable progress? Keep at it and trust the process. You won't see any improvement in the first 60 days. Don't be discouraged.

9. Fuck a lot. Even if you come fast. It doesn't matter. You came fast the last 100 times, so the next 100 times don't matter either. You can't expect to get better if you don't practice.

Treat this like a small training hack until you get your pelvis stability in order.

Use just a small amount of lube on your glans and corona ( an inch below glans ).

Place an overhand palm on your glans.

Rotate your hand on your glans and corona with a tighter grip, but not too tight, but not too lose. It should feel tight.

Assuming you have an erection, start counting how many strokes you can handle.

If your condition is bad, you'll probably want to ejaculate by around 5-7 strokes.

Write that number down, and end the session.

Tomorrow, aim for one more.

Continue until you can easily do 300-400 without stopping.

No, this will NOT desensitize your penis. It will just replica real sex, where the glans rubs on all the places inside a vagina. Let your IC muscle go crazy. This is not a death grip, but you do need a bit of force to stimulate that IC muscle.

Don't over do this. One time a day, regardless of how many strokes you could handle. Once you reached your max, stop, that's it.

If you want to go the extra mile, pay close attention while doing this to what muscles get tight. It might be your lower belly, or quads or glutes. See why they are in tension.

Then check for what muscle is that muscle over compensating.

For example, if you find yourself tensing your lower abs, that doesn't mean lower abs are weak, it means they are over compensating for a weak gluteus medius.

Know your body, find out why it works.

Hey y'all! I ended up developing PE and it went so bad the moment I was penetrating, it lead me to bust. Within three months of Reverse Kegels, controlled practice sessions and supplements like Fish Oil, KSM Ashwagandha 600mg and Magnesium Glycinate, I managed to fix it. Posting it exactly after banging my wife's brains for straight 45 mins. You don't need pills. It's a behavioral issue and it can be cured. Feel free to shoot any queries, I'm willing to help and guide as I know how much frustrating it can be. I used chat gpt plus for my daily consultation and progress tracking and it did marvelous job. The reason for my PE was hyper active pelvic floor and super tight PC muscles. If you're cumming because of clamped PC muscles it can be fixed. Let me know your concerns as I literally researched a lot about it. The only reason I ended up developing PE was masturbating to porn and fulfilling my urge to cum. Now, I don't even watch porn and rely on blood rushing to my shaft. IT CAN BE FIXED. YOU DON'T NEED PILLS.

Long time lurker. Here are things that didn't work or didn't work for too long:

Reverse Kegels or Kegels - Hard to really understand where the muscle is and how to contract them or loosen. I tried for years to get on a routine but it never seemed to work

Kratom - Tried this a few years ago, it worked in certain respects with relaxing my entire body, but it gave me horrible constipation and it became mildly addicting. The effects never lasted beyond a couple of days.

PYT - tried it, numbed up my penis but it never worked. i knew my issue was not sensitivity.

Death Grip masturbation - worked at first, but not long term. I also started to experience erectile dysfunction. Not recommended it.

Lajin Table - This worked great for a while. Look up CuredbyGibbon on youtube. The issue is that, again, if I stopped then it would stop working. I do really like it was a stress reliever.

Here is what worked followed by an explanation:

-Hollow Holds -Side Lunges -Forward Fold Progression with Weights

Explanation:

I saw a post a few weeks ago about a guy who started to do hollow holds and it cured him. I was already working out bodyweight exercises so I gave it a try. At first I couldn't hold the position for even 5 seconds. Now I can hold it for about 45 seconds. I really feel like my core is stable.

I then remember reading a few years ago about a guy who started playing baseball and had to play catcher. He was doing lots of low squats and side lunges for his conditioning. He went from having PE at the start of the season to being able to have sex without any issues. So anyways, I already do bodyweight squats so I added side lunges. They are super hard and I can only do a set of 10.

Lastly, the forward fold has been great in being able to both strengthen and relax my posterior chain. I always noticed that I always had worse PE after a long car ride. So I always suspected that my issue was tightness in my core and posterior chain. Both the hollow hold reposition my pelvis and strengthens my core while allowing my psoas muscle to relax. The forward fold stretch exercise allows my posterior to get strong, again, allowing my pelvic floor to feel relaxed.

My Story: I was always a two pump chump. When I lost my virginity I was so nervous I came after about 5 seconds. Then it never got any better except when I drank. I could last maybe 2 minutes, but I would have to be close to wasted for the affects to last. Not a good long term strategy. After a few years of struggle I started trying all the remedies I could find but nothing ever lasted. My main finding was noticing that anything that relaxed my body helped. I had some success with Lajin table and bodyweight squats going from being a minute man to 2 to 3 minutes but it wasn't consistent. Every so often I would still only last 10 seconds.

This all changed a few weeks ago when I started incorporating all the above mentioned.

Here is my routine

2x a day forward fold routine. This consist of holding 2- 25lb dumbells and trying to do 10 really slow reps, trying to touch my toes. I don't try to "stretch" I just try to fight the dumbbells pull.

2x a day doing side lunges, 3 sets of 10. I try to get really low on both sides. This one is hard but I feel my groin is stronger and looser. This one also makes my pelvis floor feel like it's getting a workout.

1x a day hollow holds. 3 sets holding until failure. I love this!

I started this routine when I was 3 weeks away from my girlfriend. I went to go see her after that, taking a very long flight, my back felt great. But I was nervous because of the flight and I always perform worse after sitting for a long time and not having consistent sex. Anyways, we got into it when we got home and I was nervous as hell that I was going to cum fast. I went inside her and I was waiting for the tight feeling in my groin and near my balls to start and the eventual tingling feeling at the tip of my penis...but it never did. I just felt so in control. Everytime I got close I just slowed down and took real deep breathes and then kept going. I think I lasted over 10+ minutes of hot and heavy sex. I eventually felt the urge to cum and came after my girlfriend came twice. She has never orgasmed from PIV. Then we couldn't have sex for 3 days. We had sex again after that and it was the same thing. Crazy passionate sex and I lasted about 15 minutes. I chose not to cum, she came twice. I had sex again later in the day and I was for sure thinking I'll cum because I hadn't earlier, but it never happened. My girl came twice. I just felt so relaxed in my pelvic area and I could go forever. I feel like a pornstar. This time it feels different. I feel so in control. Almost like the exercise are strengthening everything that was weak and loosening the tight areas. As long as i keep up the exercises I feel like I'll be fine. good luck!

Anyways, I am here for answering questions if you have any.

Edit 1:

Link to forward folds. I do these with weights and I don't use a slantboard. Starts at 2 ish minutes. Forward hold, or pike stretch. I would follow this one. Starts at 6 minutes

Hollow holds

side lunges. I don't think of these as a stretch but more of a workout. the stretch is secondary

This is how I solved my PE instantly. When I say instantly I mean in a few days(few sessions). The SOLUTION for me was doing REVERSE KEGEL, and I know you heard that 1000 times and you tried that already and you failed(ME TOO), but trust me for most of you that is solution.

When I am fully present and I do everything(BREATHING IN CERTAIN WAY) correctly 10+ minutes sex is easy, sometimes 15-20 minutes. Before this my sex sometimes lasted 30 seconds to a minute(USUALLY), sometimes 2 minutes, sometimes 5 minutes. It was a lottery’s and I wasn’t satisfied with that.

HOW TO DO IT?:

1. Start laying down

(on your back)

1. , just breath in your stomach through your nose, and breath out through your mouth. Do that few times

2. Breath in(nose) into your belly and then push down, breathe out(mouth), do that few times

STEP THREE IS GAMECHANGER AND I WILL TRY TO EXPLAIN IT BEST I CAN

3. Breathe in(nose), breathe out through your mouth, but while you’re breathing out you do that with mouth almost closed(in shape of smallest possible o)

When you exhale all of air out of your belly, your belly should be FLAT and it should be HARD, almost like you flexed it(NOT FULLY FLEXED, NOT FULLY RELAXED, HARDER THAN WHEN YOU ARE LYING DOWN NORMALLY). Do that few times.

4. When you do step 3. Correctly this is also important. VERY IMPORTANT!!!

So you exhaled all of air from your belly and now it’s turn to inhale again.

YOU INHALE(nose) AND YOUR BELLY STAYS FLAT AND ALMOST HARD. SO YOUR BELLY STAYS FLAT WHILE YOU INHALE. NOT RISING BUT STAYING FLAT!!! MAYBE JUST TOP OF YOUR STOMACH CAN RISE A LITLLE BIT.

Do this few times times.

5. You feel that you are literally breathing into pelvic floor.

6. When you finish all of this lying down you then can try it siting and standing

7. FOLLOW THIS BREATHING WHILE YOU ARE PLAYING WITH YOURSELF TO TEST IT. Give it a chance it’s a practice

8. PRACTICE WITH A PARTNER

9. HAVE A SEX LIKE A MAN

My QUESTION for you is next:

Do you want me to make a YouTube video (COMPLETELY FREE) where I explain how I did it and finally make a difference.

I don’t want to sell anything, I just want to see if there are people who want this, because I want to help and I don’t like to film myself, and I need to find way to film everything and stay completely anonymous(especially on this subject)😂

EDIT: Guys you can’t fuck with your belly totally relaxed, every movement will engage your core muscles, that’s the reason I tried this method and I think that’s the reason why is working for me, it’s much more realistic to engage your core while you are thrusting back and forth.
ONE MORE EDIT: With every new question I remember to add something. BREATHING OUT IS VERY IMPORTANT. If your lungs are completely empty it’s a lot harder to cum.
You can try this anytime. Go beat your meat and when you are close to finish(when I say close you can try first at 7/10 than at 8/10 than 9/10). So when you are close to finish completely exhale all air through you mouth. COMPLETELY. And you’ll see immediately that your urge to finish will become controllable and you’ll be able to do that many times. Inhale and exhale are important.

I know everyone is different and what works for you might not work for me.

However, the vast majority of people have the same problems due to a sedentary life. I work 8-10 hours a day sitting in a chair for the last 8 years. It fucked me over.

Anyway, here are a few things to check and fix, that are know to cause pelvis stability issues.

• anterior pelvic tilt

• posterior pelvic tilt

• hip mobility

  • excessive external rotation ( duck feet )

  • excessive internal rotation ( not so common )

• core stability

  • check out any Yt video for "The mcGill Big 3" and do those 3 exercises morning and night for the rest of your life

  • this is stability, not core strength, and should be done first before strength

• core strength

  • transversus abdominis should be your main focuse

  • external + internal obliques also very important

  • 1-2 times a way for the rectus abs, not so important

• glute strength

  • with the emphasis of also working out gluteus medius and minimus which are very important

  • should be worked out minimum of 5 days a week, always AFTER core/abs

• ankle mobility

A few non muscle related stuff that helps in the chronic periods when you are starting:

• higher potassium intake

  • half a teaspoon of potassium citrate power and after 30 minutes all your muscles will be relaxed. develop a habit of eating rich potassium foods and don't relly on powder and it's a bit risky. too much and your hear will work slower

• decaf or better nocaf at least until you get a grip on your condition

  • cortisol will make progress much much slower

• learn to do proper diaphragmatic breathing

  • no, inflating your belly won't help and it's actually making things worse as you are stretching the front of your perineum and it's creating a reflex to always contract PC muscle on inhale

  • you need to learn how to do full 360 breathing, where your ribs expand

  • 30 mins/day in the beginning will help to keep your PF relaxed until you fix your muscular imbalance

• stretch and strengthen the QL muscle. research what this muscle is, why it gets tight, and work it out

Last, but not least, and probably overlooked:

• have more sex. no matter how strong you are in your pelvic floor, if your penis has no clue how a vagina feels like, or if it feels it once every 3 months, you are not going to see any improvements

• at the very least, don't ever masturbate dry, always rub the glans inside a first, better with an overhand grip, and ALWAYS stimulate the corona of the glans. There is a spot on the right side of the corona which is called an ejaculatory reflex. you need to get your penis accustomed

• if you can, buy a fleshlight

• no matter what people say, porn is NOT helping, at all. In terms of cortisol, and anxiety, it makes things worse

My personal advice to you, at least for the 30+ guys here, go see a PT for 1-2 sessions and get an assesment of what's wrong with you. Check posture, muscle imbalance, ask to get on that tredmill where they put sensors on you and see what muscles arent firing and which are over working.

It's going to be the best $200 - $300 you've ever spent.

They will tell you exactly what the problem is, and then you can work it out on your own.

It's either spending some money or spending tome months figuring it out on your own

Small tip:

• when having sex standing, forcefully internally rotate your hips, engage your TVA and do a proper 360 breathing inhale, then on the exhale keep that tension pushing in your pelvic floor. It is going to help you last A LITTLE longer. Or much longer, depending on how severe you are.

The conclusion is that your main issue is pelvis stability.

The moment the pelvis isn't in the position it hopes to be, it will engage the pelvic muscles as a response to protect the organs.

Not even a million reverse kegels are going to fight that defense mechanism built inside you.

Keep the pelvis stable, and the pelvic floor won't contract.

Don't lose time on the small stuff, like the BC and IC muscle. leave them alone, they are doing what they think it's right. Orgasm is rushed by the PC muscle, which is part of the levator ani muscle group, and that group contracts on its own.

Most of you don't even know those muscles can relax, and probably have spend years in a contracted state.

I've seen a video where a guy said having sex back to back for 30 mins - 1 hour helps.

Yep, it does.

If it is possible in your curent situation, a 3 hour session with a hot prostitute might actually provide a lot of temporary fix until you fix your muscles

However I won't go into this as I know it's rarely possible due to marriage, girlfriend, etc.

If your partner is understanding, explain to them their issue and that having one 2 hour session a week will help things a lot.

Remember that spending time on reddit will NOT fix your issue.

Don't fixate on pudendal neuralgia. That is a sympton of a trapped nerved due to tight muscles, specifically the piriforms and levator ani. It will go away once you restore balance. No other way around it.

Ok, good luck guys.

Hope this helps at least somebody.

OK, this post is going to be a rehash of several methods many will already be familiar with, with my own perspective and tips and tricks thrown in. I want to avoid being over prescriptive, what I did won't work for everyone. There are several reasons why men struggle with PE, it may be due to hormone imbalance, anxiety issues or as I estimate to be the most common, poor masturbation habits. Though it can also be a combination of problems compounding on each other; poor performance once can often lead to added anxiety in subsequent sexual encounters.

So first off a profile:

I'm a 22 year old guy, been masturbating for years and sexually active since I was 19, uncircumcised. The main reason I suffered from PE was poor masturbation habits, treating being horny like a distraction and masturbating just to get it over with. I was bad, really bad. I've climaxed several times during foreplay alone. One time with my ex-boyfriend (I'm a gay man), I came before I even finished getting the tip in. That's a total of ZERO seconds of penetration. Yes, that's how bad my PE was. My head was super sensitive, and until I really started diving into researching PE I had no idea that my pelvic floor and penis were constantly and uncontrollable tightening and going into spasms during sex. If you're still unsure what the cause of your PE is, next time you get an erection see if you can notice an involuntary stiffening of the shaft and contraction of your pelvic floor when you stimulate your penis - that's a sure sign poor habits have made your penis overly sensitized. As such, my methods will focus on this cause of PE, if you believe it is something else then you may need pharmaceutical intervention. Otherwise, corrective behaviors should be enough to overwrite the bad nervous wiring you've put in place.

Anyone whos tried googling solutions to PE will immediately be disparaged by the lack of quality advice and perpetuation of the myth that while there are several things one can do to reduce PE you can never really get rid of it fully - and that sounds like basically a lot of unenjoyable sex where you'll always be anxious of your problem. The good news is, for people with PE caused by poor habits, you can not only get rid of PE but you can basically gain full control of your dick and last as long as you want.

The solution is two-fold:

1. Reduce the sensitivity of penis

2. Gain conscious control of the pelvic floor (i.e. no more involuntary spasms)

Following several posts I read on this subreddit, I began tackling my PE by consciously breathing deeply while masturbating and focusing really hard on relaxing my pelvic floor and making sure to edge so that my sessions lasted at least 20 minutes, and also not finishing if I could resist it. You will hear mention of edging a lot in other posts but I actively tried to avoid ever going near my PONR. You want to find the pace that you can maintain for several minutes without going near the PONR, after a while you'll get used to that pace and you'll become desensitized to it.

At first I was able to relax enough that the spasms stopped while using a conventional grip at a steady pace but the second I tried to push with my hips the slightest, my pelvic floor would tighten. My pelvic floor was so tense I thought it was going to be impossible to relax it during intercourse, when I would invariably need to push and thrust. Turns out all it takes is focus, concentration and some practice.I didn't do any fancy kegel exercises or the like, just set aside 30mins to an hour several days a week to beat my meat whilst trying to relax as much as possible. The key is relaxation, you want to make yourself allergic to tension in your body, not only will this make you last longer it'll actually help you be more in the moment and make sex more enjoyable. I discovered that I could last much longer after having a hot shower so I started incorporating hot showers and hot baths into my routine, afterwards you'll be much more relaxed and have an easier time controlling the spasms. I'm a trail marathon runner and always carry some magnesium spray in case I get leg cramps and also use it before bed to get deeper sleep so I started using it on my groin area and pelvic floor to increase relaxation during masturbation, it worked like a charm making it far easier for me to consciously block out spasms.Here's a detailed breakdown of what I did:

1. Used hot showers and baths to make myself extra relaxed prior to masturbation sessions. It may also be possible that blood vessel dilation plays a role.

2. Used magnesium rub on my groin and pelvic floor to promote relaxation. BetterYou is my goto brand, it's pricey but worth it.

3. For my masturbation sessions I would lay comfortably on my back, with my knees up, one hand on my belly and the other hand - you know the thing. This position promotes relaxation of the pelvic floor.

4. Breathed deeply and focused on relaxing.

5. Beat my meat with lubed hands in a variety of positions. Though I never used a fleshlight or equivalent sex toy to mimic real sex (which is recommended) I would stack both my hands like I was gripping a pole so that they made a hollow and thrust into it with some light lubrication. Note: it took me a while before I could thrust without tensing up. If you can't control your spasms while thrusting or while stimulating your penis in any way other than a conventional grip then go back to basics and keep practicing that conscious relaxation of the pelvic floor.

6. As I began gaining more control I began experimenting with all sorts of hand positions and speeds, sometimes going intensely and vigorously at the head of my penis while simultaneously trying to intensely relax my pelvic floor. You will feel the conflict of your muscles wanting to spasm as you stimulate the head of the penis, if takes a lot of focus and deep breathing to prevent it from happening and the more you do it the better you'll get.

7. While it's true that consistent practice is important I actually find that you can cram and it has a compound effect. If I beat my meat long enough my dick kind of gets a bit fatigued from holding an erection for so long and even a little bit sore from all the beating, this adds to the desensitization and allows me to progress to more stimulating methods.

To summarize, intense relaxation opens up the possibility of long masturbation sessions, long masturbation sessions lead to desensitization of the penis, which allow for longer masturbation sessions and so on. Use this to spiral your way up and out of premature ejaculation.

Mastering relaxation so that you can masturbate vigorously without even getting near PNOR will give you so much confidence before you even get into bed with someone else to try out your progress. Eventually, good practice and a desensitization of the penis will make you so much more relaxed when you go to have sex. It's a positive feedback loop.

I've gone from a loaded gun with no safety button that could trigger during foreplay alone, to not climaxing during sex unless I consciously try to. My penis has significantly desensitized from where I started and my pelvic floor no longer contracts involuntarily. Something I didn't go into detail on but is also very important is eradicating that "I NEED TO CUM" urge, I recommend this book on Taoist sex practices. Change your mindset: Sex is the end itself, climax is a bonus and not the goal.

Offering my experience and advice.

My husband and I waited until marriage to have sex. He would finish in seconds because he was extremely nervous. We tried sprays, lotions, meditation, therapists, and an assortment of programs. Nothing was working, this was extremely frustrating for both of us and was ruining our marriage. After talking at great lengths I knew we needed to do two things. One is to build his confidence, and two was for me to show him how I wanted sex to be. I came up with a way to do both.

First - We needed to set goals, just like a weight lifting routine.

1st day - this was the MAX day - we would have sex and i would tell him to as fast as he could. We would keep track of how many thrusts it took for him to get to the point of no return (our first time doing this he got to 5)

2nd day - train for reps - we would start with the target number as 1 below his most recent max. So in this case we started with 4. He would do 4 thrusts and pull out, and would do this 4 times. Then we would increase by 1 thrust every 3 reps. We would do this until he finished and keep track of how high he could get. We used 30 second rest periods to start between reps to start. So it looked like this;

thrusts x reps

4x4,5x3,6x3,7x3.......

This had a great effect because it gave us a way to see progress, even if the progress was not much in the beginning but it does get exponentially better.

3rd and 4th days were train for rep days, trying to beat the previous day. We would try to start on the 2nd second of reps from the previous day. So day 3 in this scenario would start 5x4,6x3,7x3.... and day 4 6x4,7x3,8x3.....

Day 5 - we would start the 4 day process over again. Day 1 Max day, beat the previous max, Day 2-4 train for reps.

We kept a log of everything in a notebook. Seeing the progress really helped both of us to know it wasn't a lost cause.

Second - I wanted to show him how i wanted sex to be, but this was difficult since he couldn't last. I came up with the idea to simulate sex with him like in one of those softcore porn movies. We wouldn't penetrate me but we would act as if he was. We would pretend we were really doing one of those scenes, we even recorded and watched it together a couple times. This did wonders for his nervousness because much of it came from not knowing what I wanted, and now he knew. We did this once a week and was actually really fun coming up with "scenes," although the first time was a little awkward.

Results

Slow at the start, he got to about 2 minutes after 4 months. After a year though he got plenty of control and regularly lasts over 10 minutes.

Tips

• Encouragement does wonders. Tell him how good it feels for you, tell him what he's doing right. Positivity!!!

• When doing max and rep days I recommend starting off doggy style because it can be awkward at first

• Try a new position every week, make it fun

• You need to keep him relaxed during the rest period, the less thinking he does the better. You still need to keep him hard, but I wouldn't stroke or suck him. I would kiss and lick his penis and tell him how I couldn't wait to feel it back in me, this made him most relaxed. Tell him what you want to do, like kiss me here, lick/rub me there. Guide his hands.

Hope this helps someone

So it sounds crazy, but we DEFINITELY, as men, have been conditioning ourselves to cum quick from a young age. I remember furiously masturbating in the bathroom as a kid hoping I wouldn't get caught. Add porn to the mix and you are adding gas to a fire.

I've been having sex with this woman who has a PhD in Clinical Sexology. We've been banging for 4 months now. She saved me. I cannot thank her enough.

Right off the bat, I would get on top and enter her. She was observing my face and would say, "Feel the pleasure. Feel it. Don't run from it." I guess she noticed something in my facial expression as I entered her. She kept repeating, "FEEL the pleasure." Over and over. I was like whatever. Then she told me to breathe through my belly. Expand my ribcage and slow down. Stop thrusting like an idiot. When she noticed I was thrusting fast, she would move her pussy and get my cock out then tell me to "Slowwwwwwww down." Then I'd reinsert. (I've never stopped and analyzed myself, but I was ALWAYS holding my breath and was tense as hell.)

I swear to God, THIS TIME, I entered her slowly at first. Just the tip. I stopped tensing my body and slowlyyyyy began penetrating. I was so into the moment that I FELT that pleasure radiating throughout my body. It wasn't all focused in on my cock. I was super impressed at how well I was doing. Then, a little later, I felt that POV approaching. I took a deep breath through my nose and expanded my belly, breathing out slowly through my mouth....and it was like the 'Reset' Switch had been hit. Suddenly that feeling disappeared and I kept thrusting. I literally ended up breathing through a barrier and began picking up pace. Soon enough, I was drilling her hard and she's screaming. She ended up climaxing twice and I was still going. Eventually I was getting tired and forced myself to cum.

She was hugging me and we laid together. I was in total shock.

I am still in shock at how that played out.

I just want to share what has helped me. I'm not saying I've found a cure, but I'm sure it can help a lot of people. I used to last a few minutes now I can regularly fuck 30-60 minutes. I really do feel like 90% of guys don't need any cream or medication.

TLDR Buy a Fleshight to train with. Stop training to cum faster, train to last as long as you can. Takes deep breathes, don't hold your breath. Relax your anus. Try the stop mid-pee exercises. Try not to over-think it. 50% is mental, 25% is breathing and 25% is relaxing the muscles

My first time having sex as a teen I lasted less than a minute. Which held me back a lot, and hit my confidence to the point where I didn't really want to have sex, and would opt for just a blowjob, to be able to last longer. It's also very mental, you're worried you won't last long so you're tense and nervous, and being tense makes you cum faster, so you're stuck in a cycle.

Looking back I was pretty much training myself to cum as quickly as I can. When I used to jerk off, most of the time it would be under 15 minutes, skipping between porn videos. I would get myself to the edge within a minute or so, and then pause, jerk a little more, pause. I would be tense down there, dick and anus, and hold my breathe to get to the edge quicker. So then when it came time for sex my body was used to that.

I really wanted to change, so bought myself a fleshlight to train with. Started off very similar, 5-10 pumps and I would cum. It's the feeling of my whole dick being pleasured that would send me over the edge. I read a few things online about techniques to help. And the 2 major ones that helped me were to breathe slower and take deeper breaths, and to relax your anus. You also want to be less tense overall.

I also tried the stop mid-pee exercise. I didn't do it religious but it did help with the mind muscle connection. If you don't know, basically as you are peeing, try to stop and hold it mid-pee. Do it a few times every time you pee. This mainly comes in handy latter when you are almost about to cum, then you can stop it just before, but ideally you don't want to get to this point.

Start very slow for a few minutes or whatever you can do, and work your way up to 30 minutes. Think of it as training yourself, not to cum as quick as you can. Start with just the head if you can't pleasure the whole shaft without getting to the point of no return. You also want take deep breathes (don't hold your breath). You want to relax your anus, so it's not tense. Sometimes you don't even realise you're tense, but when you learn to relax it, you can feel the tension go away.

The next thing is mental. Try not to get too worked up, you want to be aroused so you stay hard but not too aroused that you can't relax certain muscles.

Also try different positions, laying down and on my side I would also cum quicker, and standing up I could last longer. So when starting out try in positions where you can last longer.

Feel free to DM me if you want me to clarify anything, happy to help.

TLDR: Coconut and Castor oil infused with cloves reduced my penis head sensitivity and I'm now able to last as long as I want. Don't forget 100 Squats a day too..

I've had PE for ever, it mostly originated because of my masturbation addiction and wanted to cum as soon as possible to achieve that dopamine. Married for a 10 years, initial years was able to continue for a few minutes, maybe 5 minutes but still not enough.. The past few years had been horrible where I was cumming in just a second, literally.. my partner lost all hope and so did I as my situation didn't improve even after PMO free for 2 years and reverse kegels, numbing condoms etc.. And then I found a YT short to massage the penis head with coconut oil to reduce sensitivity.. And then I did it for a few days.. now I'm able to last as long as I want. I went on a revenge mode and started having sex 2-3 times a day each session (90% time in penetration) lasting more than an hour.. Sometimes I don't cum in weeks just have penetration sex for hours without ejaculate because I've always cummed in seconds and I sort of want to maintain the streak of not ejaculating to celebrate my new found super power..

Edit: forgot to mention I also started doing traditional squats 100 times a day which might have strengthened my pelvic muscles.. Also although the YT short mentioned massage with virgin coconut oil, I went ahead and added Castor oil and cloves to the coconut oil to get maximum absorption and cloves for extra blood flow..

Edit 2: I've made a total 100ml combined oil of which 3 parts coconut oil and 1 part castor.. I didn't have the clove oil so I have added about 10 cloves so that it's essence is released in the oil over time..

This is for every guy who is terrified of disappointing his woman in bed!

Stop lying to yourself. You want to give it to your partner properly, make her toes curl, and leave her completely breathless without needing cheap sprays, numbing condoms, or secret pills. Instead, every time clothes come off, panic hits you. You finish in thirty seconds or go soft, and end up staring at the ceiling apologizing while she lies there frustrated. Stop believing you can fix this with willpower or by squeezing your muscles harder in the dark. You can't.

Here is what actually happens inside you.

For years, you sit in a chair for eight hours locking your hips, fry your dopamine receptors with porn tabs, and masturbate with a dry, tight death grip just to finish fast. You are training your nervous system to treat sex like a five-alarm emergency.

When you get into bed with a real woman, your brain does not feel calm pleasure, it senses a high-stakes threat. It dumps a massive payload of adrenaline straight into your bloodstream. That adrenaline slam instantly locks your entire pelvic floor into a brutal muscle spasm, like pulling an emergency handbrake while flooring the gas pedal. That cramp crushes the nerves at the base of your penis, cutting off your blood flow and triggering an uncontrollable climax on the spot. You cannot negotiate with a panicked reflex by clenching tighter.

If you actually want real control and the confidence to satisfy your woman, the half-measures die today. Rebuild the engine step by step.

1. Take a complete touch break if you struggle with erections. Stop all masturbation and drop the death grip completely for thirty days so your crushed nerve endings can heal. Get your bloodwork checked for low testosterone, hit the weights, and give your biological hardware a clean reset.

2. Relearn masturbation with lube and zero pressure. If you are single or practicing solo, never touch yourself dry again. Use plenty of lube, keep your hand loose, and practice staying aroused without rushing to climax so your brain unlearns the panic reflex.

3. Master the reverse release over clenching. Clenching your pelvic floor when excited instantly fires the ejaculation reflex. Learn to gently push and drop the pelvic floor down and out, exactly like starting to pee, while taking slow, deep breaths into your lower belly (reverse kegels)

4. Scan your body for daily unconscious tension. Notice where you hold stress throughout your regular day. Drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, stop sucking in your stomach, and let your pelvic floor release while sitting at your desk or driving.

5. Open tight hips and build cardio stamina. Sitting all day glues your hip flexors and locks your pelvis in a cramp. Spend five minutes in a deep bodyweight squat every day to lengthen tight tissue, and do easy steady cardio so physical effort does not send your heart rate into panic mode.

6. Freeze and breathe during entry if you have a partner. When entering your woman, do not start thrusting right away. Slide in and stay completely motionless for the first sixty seconds, breathe deep into your stomach, and let your nervous system realize there is no danger.

7. Take penetration completely off the table when anxiety is high. If performance panic is running the show, agree with your partner to only focus on touch and massage without any expectation of sex or staying hard. Removing the pressure to perform breaks the fear loop and lets your body relax naturally.

Stop waiting for a miracle pill to save your sex life. Unlock the muscular cramp, reset your nervous system, and take back real control.

Hello everyone, I have been sexually active for 4 years, and for 3 of those years, I struggled with premature ejaculation (PE). However, over the past year, I have mostly cured my PE. Now, I am able to last generally between 15-30 minutes (and on good days, up to 1 hour). I'm not entirely sure what causes this differences, but here are the things I did to cure my PE. Some of them might be beneficial to you, and I hope you find something useful.

1. Masturbate the Right Way: I used to always masturbate dry, which I believe is a very bad habit. Last year, I bought a flashlight and started using it for masturbation. Not always, but about fifty percent of the time. Masturbation habits are crucial, so avoid dry masturbation. Use a flashlight and relax your pelvic muscles while masturbating (reverse kegels). If you don't want to buy one, avoid touching the tip of your penis when masturbating; just use the bottom third of your penis (I read this tip in this sub).

2. Strong Erections: Strong and healthy erections are important for managing PE. I am also interested in penis enlargement, so I bought a penis pump. I use it irregularly. I don't think it made my penis bigger, but it increased blood flow and made my erections stronger. When I am rock hard, it is easier to control my ejaculation.

3. Don't Focus on Your Penis: During penetration don't focus directly on your penis and its pleasure. Try to focus on your whole body and your partner's body. Feel the connection, use your hands, breathe slowly, and distract your mind from your penis. Being present in the moment, kissing, and enjoying can help. You can use mindfulness meditation to master this.

4. Start Slowly: Don't rush. Start slowly. In the first few minutes (maybe 5-10 minutes), you can just stay inside your partner and move gently (like doing slow twerk). You can give kisses and hugs while doing this. Let your penis get used to the sensation and slow down your excitement.

5. Relax: Relax your pelvic and glute muscles, and don't squeeze them. Keep your body relaxed. I like to focus on my abs and core muscles (like doing a plank). This might not work for everyone, but you can try.

6. Strong Core and Glutes: For a strong core and glutes, you can do hip thrusts and crunches. I don't work out regularly, but I try to do crunches and hip thrusts 2-3 days a week.

7. Avoid Bloating: Don't eat too much before sex. Eat well and pay attention to your intestinal health. I can feel myself ejaculating faster when I'm bloated.

These are the things I've paid attention to over the past year. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

No TL;DR but I made a list of things to practice if you're lazy to read

Good evening, I'm a 19 yo male, who had been suffering from PE for about 3 years now. I used to last around 30 seconds while masturbating, and less than a second during sex, and now can last for more than 20 minutes.

Similarly to a lot of people here, my PE came from watching unsanitary amounts of porn, and rushing to finish as quick as I could, even multiple times in a single session (could even come in 10 seconds if I wanted to, that shit was nuts).

I did realize at around 16 that this wasn't good, but didn't do anything about it : I would spend my days just playing video games and jerking off so nothing else really mattered. Now guess what, had sex for the first time at 18 and I came as soon as I put it in. Not my proudest moment.

Believe it or not, I never saw that girl again, and my confidence was very much wrecked. Thus, I decided to take matters in my own hands and looked up all information I could on the matter, especially on this subreddit. Had sex a few times recently and it went great. As stated previously, I can now have sex for more than 20-25 minutes, and survive handjobs and blowjobs with that. Anyone can get here, it's all in the head.

I'll now be listing all the remedies that I did : some worked, some didn't, so take all of my advice with a grain of salt, as everyone's mind/bodies won't react the same way to different treatments.

What helped me improve and what I recommend :

-Working out. Have a healthy mind in a healthy body. It doesn't matter if you're not killing yourself at the gym, bit at least have some form of physical activity. It boosts testosterone levels, helps you stay fit/healthy, and helps with sleep, energy levels etc... Don't miss out on that

-Reverse kegels. Almost every time possible. When at school, in public transport, when taking a piss, when showering, when masturbating. As you've probably read before, reverse kegels allow you to relax your pelvic muscles, which is key in learning to control your arousal/orgasm.

-Quitting porn. It's been said time and time again, but it messes up your brain darn bad. Believe it or not, even now, I can't last more than 1 minute with porn, despite being able to last for wayyy longer during sex. That's how much of a drug it is.

-Masturbating without orgasming. Orgasm only allowed every 7-10 days. Practice dissociating jerking off and orgasming. Sexual pleasure must come first, and orgasming is only a "bonus" you allow yourself once in a while, and should not be the objective. I would make these sessions last for at least 10 minutes at first, gradually increasing the time to 20, 30, 40 minutes...

-Deep breathing. Breathe in for 3 seconds, breathe out from your mouth for 3 seconds. Do it as much as possible, whenever possible, especially during your masturbating sessions.

-Consistency. Results won't magically appear if you're not consistent. However, don't worry if you skip sessions like once every week, it won't make you "lose" progress or anything.

-Mental visualization and focus. Focus on what you're doing when masturbating, and repeat yourself these words, like a self-hypnosis : "I'm in control, I feel nothing, I last forever". I would repeat these words all the time, and whenever I said them, I would calm down and remember my real objective, my goals, and to relax. When you feel like your arousal is building up, take deep breaths and relax. I like visualizing a valve releasing air pressure, and imagining my body on doing the same.

-Trojan numbing condoms. They work darn well and are a good confidence boost at first. Watch out, the cream does take about 2-3 minutes to take effect and lasts a quite a while. Good for a first-time confidence boost.

What didn't help :

-Kegels. They tightened my pelvic floor and made me tense in general

-Watching porn while practicing not to orgasm. Tried that for a few weeks and I saw 0 improvement. Even now qi still get overexited when watching porn so I totally quit. Get out of that place asap

-Durex numbing condoms. Trojan's were good but these are honestly crap, they're too small and the cream doesn't work. 0/10

-Edging and other masturbation techniques supposed to make you last longer. Edging didn't help and had quite the opposite effect. You're supposed to be able to stay far from orgasming, not keeping yourself at the brink of it. Other techniques simply did nothing

-Depression, whatever negative thoughts you have... Considering how deep-rooted porn can affect you, depression isn't unlikely to cause similar effects. See a psychologist if needed idk, but work on curing that.

Aaand that's about it. Feel free to ask any questions or anything, I'll be glad to answer. I know you've probably heard these tips before, but this sub is lacking of success stories at times, so I thought I'd share mine !

Please remember this too : unless you were BORN with PE, you can and will be able to cure it. There is no mental process that can't be reversed, if you put effort into it, trust me.

Peace, good luck to everyone, we'll all gonna make it brahs.

Edit : Removed an inaccurate statement/paragraph about doctors, pointed out by u/azucarleta Edit 2 : Typos here and there

I went from 10 seconds to 7 minutes in about 2 months. 

About me: I am almost 40, not in shape, a bit overweight, need to lose 10kg to reach my ideal weight, i am what you call "skinny fat", never committed to working out in my life,  work a desk job, bad posture. 

I improved solo then with my partner and kept building confidence. Have not reached the level of comfort i want to yet but i hope one day i will. i am definitely happy with my results. 

Splitting this to 3 sections BODY and MIND equals CONTROL. 

BODY: 

what i discovered is that my erection was 12/10 all the time, hard AF. which also made me notice that i am TENSE. I stood in front of the mirror looking at my self during. I noticed my legs, glutes and even shoulders get tense. 

I needed to learn how to relax. easier said than done. The fix started here: 

Since my muscles are weak, i would intentionally tense them to be able to hold my self or thrust or even move my arm. So by working out and building muscle, such tasks became easier on the muscles and you dont need to tense up to do them. 

1- Started working out - focus on legs, butt, core and posture + Kegels 

My exercises : 

- Bridge both legs + Kegels (during) - then single leg bridge, then Glute press. I graduately increased intensity. 

- Upside down turtle exercise + happy baby exercise + (reverse Kegel)

- Planks 

- Dont sit a lot , move, stand move etc. be active. 

- while at it and i built the habit of exercise, might as well do the rest of the body.

MIND

1- Stop watching porn. period. Seriously, even if you like watching it, dont masturbate during it. 

2- I deleted Social media because of the thirst traps that leads me to go watch porn. so no more IG models. 

I tested after the success i had. 2 hours after having intercourse with my partner, i watched porn and masturbated. I was not able to control even though it was my 2nd round of the day. 

CONTROL

This is during masturbation (which i applied later during the real thing) 

- Dont reach point of no return. The goal to prolong the time to reach the PONR. you can stop until the urge is completely gone then restart. this took weeks for it to become actually longer. 

- No porn, just use imagination and hands

- Lubricate = less friction 

- Deep breathing - seriously deep in and outs

- Focus on body feeling not penis - even looking at it made me feel like getting closer

- Dont tense your muscles, specially pelvic floor and glutes. stay relaxed FOCUS ON YOUR BODY. 

- Again, Dont think about your penis at all - just focus on your movement

- Count backwards - not kidding - at a fast tempo try to focus on it the most or anything else that you is not easy enough to do without focus but also wouldnt take all of your focus. 

- Erection is at 8/10 at this point. 

i didnt fuck like a porn star but i am keeping a consistent tempo, not fully in/out but enough thrusting 30-50%.

referencing my last post i’m positive i might’ve beaten my pe hence i lasted about an hour with no condom today. so what i’ve been doing is pelvic floor exercises for the past 5-6 weeks its three videos and i follow along with all three videos once a day. all three videos add up to about 40 mins, this will most likely help other people whose had tight pelvic floor problems. also, the span to relax a tight pelvic floor is typically 6 weeks to 3 months so don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results quickly. lastly, i would like to say is after you do the stretches be mindful of your pelvic floor at all times throughout the day if you notice tightness relax it that is key into reversing pelvic floor tightness. i’ll link the videos in the comments