A girl does not drive an hour to someone's house and claims to be just friends when she won't even drive an hour to see her supposed boyfriend. Thoughts?

I founded this sub a long time ago, but no one seems to have much interest. Lets get this popular again!

It's funny how one lie makes you rethink every truth a person has told you. One mistake erases 100 perfections. A guy recently lied to me about attempting suicide, cutting, and being with other girls. Being naive, I fell for it all and ended up hurting the most. But I hope all of you are naive because being oblivious is better than being aware and hurt.

I'd think people would be much more interested in this thing we all do but so rarely admit.

I've lied to everyone I know. There's not a single person who has received only truth from me. I've lied to parents, friends, family, anyone really. For me it was just easier than telling the truth.

Today was bad. I was copying my friend's homework from a photo on my phone in the beginning of the class when it was due. The teacher walks up and confronts me and I immediately start lying about it saying oh I left it at home and right now only a couple hours later I can't remember what I said. Now the teacher hates me, and since he knows who I copied off of, he will hate them too. I really messed up. My friend (I hope they still are) is one of the smartest people I know, very underrated and very hard working. I'm a slacker in the subjects that I'm not interested in (humanities). This friend has a great future ahead of them and I'm afraid that I messed up their dream by screwing his grade in this class.

I am an utter piece of garbage.

Step 1. Pretend to be a bad liar. Any chance you have to lie and be caught, do it. This is crucial. How to be a good liar, act like a bad one.

Step 2. Always be aware of who is in the room. If you have two other people in the room, always remember that both of them can hear you. If you lie to person #1, then person #2 also heard the same thing. If you told a lie to one person, you told it to everyone.

Step 3. Think ahead. If you say something that is a lie, remember that you lied to that person. They will always remember when you failed at lying to them. This is key for when you have to lie and get away with it.

Step 4. Always have a reason for what you do. Say something stupid, do it on purpose. Do something stupid, do it on purpose. From here on out, all of your actions are self-conscientiously remembered by whoever hears or sees it.

Step 5. Remember. Everyone you've ever fake lied to, being words or actions, now thinks you're a bad liar. This can take up to many months to do. Don't forget who you've played. They are under your control now. Anything you say or do will feel like an accident to them. You're the only one who knows the truth. You can say or do anything you want now.

Step 6. Lie. Lying should feel like reality now. When yo lie, it should feel like the truth. People will believe it's the truth because they know (think) you're a bad liar. Use this to your advantage. There are many things that you can lie about to get what you want.

Step 7. Never tell someone you're a bad liar and the reason why you are a good liar. You just lost all power you had over somebody. When you pretend to lie and when you actually lie become obvious to them. You have no more power.

Step 8. Forget all honesty you ever had. You might not feel good about yourself. You might feel powerful, but you're honesty has all but deteriorated. After a while you don't notice it. Lying has become your life. You will use it to your advantage whenever you have a chance. Embrace it. Enjoy it. It will help you. It will hurt you. But at the end of the day, you control what's going on around you.

Recently I met a girl who I have been getting on with really well. We are in love. At the start of the relation ship that has been about 3 months ago I said I had sex with about 6 girls. I started to make up stories about scenarios like having a threesome or having sex in different places. Making them more interesting like urinating on an ex. Its hard to believe but I didn't even realize what I was doing. A week ago I told her that I had been lying, after she had got upset about not feeling experienced enough for me. She had got upset before and I had comforted her but still didn't think to tell her at the time. She has been understanding and confused. I've told her I'm so regrettably sorry and that I feel disgusting for hurting her. I had no previous experience and felt insecure about my past. I had not wanted to have sex before and felt I had to lie to seen impressive or confident. It feels so stupid and unlike me now but I still have to live with it. We also work together and I had told some of our freinds about the story about pissing on someone and that I had an ex who I had sex with. They don't know I was a virgin either. I feel really bad for my girlfriend and feel I should tell her but it's really hard to considering that they would all know and that it would spread probably. I'm not sure what I'm writing for but hopefully someone can say something that will help me deal with this. I know it's about her and being lied to but I just feel horrible about it.

i'm 14 years old and i used to weigh 42.5lbs. my mom wants me to stay skinny so i diet all the time (she helps me) but it isn't that strict as she lets me eat sweets when i eat with my parents at home or sometimes get a sugary drink outside. this is all because since two years ago i used to be that really really skinny like a stick girl who was able to eat how ever much she wanted without getting any fat but since my period started around 13, my hormones got crazy and i started gaining weight to around roughly 45kgs. that was the first time i lied to my parents about my weight telling my mom all the time every morning that "i was 40kg today" but my actual weight went up to 45kgs. my mom found out when i had a dance concert and i look really really fat and she told me to go on the weighing machine and she saw my real weight. i don't remember much (because i was so depressed with guilt with what i did) but i remember she got super angry at me for lying to her about my weight and why i ate other peoples food at school like a homeless person just for me to gain useless weight. time skip after that though and i lost weight up till 42.5-43kg in three months. when quarantine started, i started eating the sweets at home without permission because i was so stressed with school and the diet. my mom eventually found out because of the decreasing food storage and i got in trouble after that mainly because this was the second time i've lied. then i lied for the third time this week. school started in person around where i live two months ago and i've been snacking all the time with my friends. and of course though i workout a lot at home i gained wait till 45.8 (the heaviest i've ever been in my life). my thigh is so big my butt is just falling around and my arm is big too and you can clearly see my face fat. friends and people at school and my dance friends always tell me that i'm still skinnny and that they're "jealous"how i can eat a lot but stay skinny at the same time when in fact i'm struggling to maintain it. my mom being my mom knew i was lying about my weight again and that i rigged the machine. and she found out just this morning about me rigging the machine and i just got yelled at a lot today. she didn't give me breakfast as punishment and all morning she wouldn't stop calling me a "fat ugly bitch" and "short fat bitch" and more i can't remember anymore and i know it's all my fault with me lying all the time but i can't stop and i hate myself for it and i don't know what to do with life anymore. my mom hates me and tells me that i can't talk to her until i'm 40 kg again but gets mad when i don't try an attempt to talk to her with what crimes i've done. she won't stop telling me how i'm not actually smart (my gpa is 4.0) but i'm just lucky that the people around me are stupid and that i should make up for my half assed decisions i always make with having good body style and trying to maintain being skinny for my ugly face too. i know this is all my fault but i don't know what to do anymore i just want to die to be honest and just not eat anymore. she watches me workout now and forced me to this morning without giving me water and i almost fainted when i was done in my room. i'm so sorry if i didn't make sense please ask questions if you have any i'd be glad to answer them. i'm in a rush since my electronics are taken away (posting this from my ipad) but i'll get back to any of the pms and replies. i'm so sorry for taking your time with my nonsense, but i hope all of you have a good day.

Body of your text post

Nah I'm just kidding...I just wanted to say this....This is coming from an aspie, (aspergers syndrome), I have been diagnosed with 28 different disorders, but a couple MD's and Psy D's say they're misdiagnoses that are confused with symptoms of aspergers....if someone else comments that the word aspergers has an apostrophe before the "S", it's because my phone autocorrects words and I don't want to go back and change it...., but I am pretty sure that I am a pathological liar, and that's only because of my upbringing and multiple misdiagnoses and literally pounds of medication from the ages of 10-20, due to the latter. But I digress, I am a pathological liar. I have been taught mechanisms on how to control it and how to only let myself go if I am in trouble or to help someone else out of trouble. My mentor is amazing....in every sense of the word.

Anyways!!!!! It is impossible for any lie to be overly complex or detailed. For instance there's no way for you to know what is true and what is false in everything before this period.

I just thought I'd share this.

Help! I’m in a long distance relationship and already our communication can be difficult because I have issues around confidence in sharing my feelings and sharing myself. It’s pretty new, about 5 months, and it’s amazing in so many ways. The other night, I got far too drunk while out with friends and called my boyfriend while I was trying to get myself home. Ashamed of how drunk I was (which doesn’t make sense since we drink together and everyone parties sometimes), I just lied about where I was (walking drunkenly to my car and driving home) and said I was at my apartment charging my phone. He confronted me about these lies because he said he could hear that I was walking around, and I don’t remember getting home but I became increasingly insecure about how angry he was getting and kept digging myself in deeper. The next couple of days I tried to reconcile what I had told him, finally revealing how drunk I was, but at that point he was frustrated and rightfully angry about me continuing to be deceitful. We’ve since talked about it, I’ve apologized profusely and described that I was just ashamed I was so drunk, but he thinks I have more to hide and am trying to cover up cheating (which I’m really not). we’ve moved on but I still feel terrible and confused about this mess I’ve gotten myself into. Can you help me untangle some of this?

So i can only say that i have lied amd that is a huge step to even take when knowing that you are a liar. I have lost respect and love to lying and i wish i could take everything back but whats done is done. I recently lost my gf and im pretty fucking bummed because i know that im not a bad person and i had no reason to lie. I lie out of fear so i wont get caught in trouble but ive learned that either way in the moment you lie or 100 years from that time you told a lie.. You set yourself up for a bad time. I recently lost my gf and im so sad and lonley and i just miss her.. I hate lying and i wish that i find the power to be more honest. If you have any problem with lying.. First step is addmitting that you are a liar. I will keep updating this in critical situations.

(Update)

Ive been studying my family and the way they are. There all liars and there so good at it that they dont even notice they are. They lie for a lot of reasons like if they are asked a favor and they dont want to actually help you so they lie to not do it or if asked something personal they lie to hide the truth. I grew up around my family and i guess i inherited this habbit. It sucks that i had to lose such a beautiful woman to even realize i have a problem. I told all my friends that i have a problem and im lucky that they still accept me and they kinda knew but they knew im not a bad person. Just a person lying to getting out of a sticky situation or avoiding things. I have been getting better at being honest. I still catch myself saying lies everynow and then so i stop and i say "sorry i lied about that" i say it so they can know that im lying, and i hope to feel ashamed for lying. I hope i learn the embarrassment feeling very well so i can get it into habbit and not lie anymore. I will get better. Tired of being a liar. And i will change for me and the people that love me. I'll update this again even though no one might be reading this. This helps me as well.

(Update 2)

So im having a hard time in i guess i can say recovery.. I feel nothing but guilt and regret and more angry because of the position that im in. But ive heard that accepting the consequences is help too. I have to embrace my errors and flaws.. Realize that there not the right choice. Feeling like im feeling right now is something i would never wanna do again. Im trying to learn how to forgive myself so i can feel like i can be forgiven by others. These lies have piled up on me and im going to dispose of them. I havent spoken to my ex girlfriend much nearly to at all. I know shes hurting.. I wish i can go talk to her and show her that im always there but will she even believe me? Because im a fucking liar and its stressful because i love this girl to the fucking max and i got in my own way of that. She slapped me before she exited my life, i still feel the force on my face. When she slapped me i didnt get angry but more guilt because i felt like deserved it. She cries and i feel more guilty because this girl loves me so much amd i see her struggling to continue to love me.. And i have tons of respect because i have noticed how broken and dysfunctional i am and all im doing is breaking her. Its crazy because usually people wouldnt admit to them being in the wrong. I was a person that rearly ever felt guilt.. But im feeling it so much right now.

I am going to get better. I always feel better writing on here.

All i know is if i had another chance i would use it wisely.. Never lie and speak nothing but the truth. A whole lot of people lie because there afraid of how things really should happen. If you are in trouble and you use lying to wiggle your way through.. Think about it man, youre safe for now but what about later? When you have stuff in your life straightened out this lie is going to come up and ruin everything. I would know because ive experienced this. Right now i feel worthless and guilty and not special, i wouldnt want anybody to go through this. Some people choose the path of lying. Im trying to get off this shitty path. Hopefully everything i want is at the end.

(Update 3)

So this update is a positive one.. But first let me tell you a little bit about me so IF anybody is reading. I am 21 years old and i am a maintenance man at a grocery store. I dropped out of school when i was 15 or 16 i cant remember. Ive always been ashamed of not finishing so this is kinda hard to say, but its anonymous so i guess im okay with it. Ive only had shitty jobs and ive been pushed by people to get sometype of diploma or a ged.. But i was ignorant and angry so i never listened till recently.. Me and my ex were talking about future careers for me and we had narrowed it down to what i really wanted to be and that was a firefighter. We spoke about the process and i could get it with my ged. My ged was the stepping stone to a new path.. And i have been avoiding it this whole time. I was scared and embarrassed and it was always too much for me to take so i gave up. See when my girlfriend left me.. I had noticed so many things that are wrong with me. I had no type of diploma or ged , i had a low job , this hurts typing. Anyways i have decided to stop and fix everything.. Im doing it for so many reasons and the main one is me. If my ex would take me back improved it would make me the happiest guy l.. I would be so proud of myself knowing i had overcame all these problems and fought for what i loved and needed.. And if not.. If she dosent come back i mean at least im better and time heals all. Anyways back to the whole point of this update i have taken a step already and booked my science ged test already. I have to take four test which is (english\science\history\math). Im going to try and finish all of them before i have my birthday.. So i can have a good reason to celebrate lol it feels so good right now and all i wanna do is hear someone say that there proud of me.. But i only really have two freinds and there not answering the phone and i sent a message to my ex telling her about it and i dont even know if im blocked on her phone. Im alone right now and i just bummed out now. Either way im closer to my goal. Man this really turned into some diary..

(Update 4)

Man i really wish there was a button that you can press and everything would be fixed. I sit here and think all the time and its starting to get frustrating, i have two freinds and there available after work but sometimes im just not into doing what they wanna do which is video games or basketball or smoke some weed and dont get me wrong i like it sometimes.. But most of the time i really just wanna spend time with just her. We would wake up early like around 6 or 7 am and cuddle and laugh and smoke some grass before doing anything we do. Thats how we started our day.. She would always wanna do everything for me like wash my clothes and clean my room and please me at any point.. Our mentality is so similar, we would even finish eachothers sentences. I know that im young but this feeling i have towards her is not like any other connection ive ever had with anybody else. I feel like sometimes when im in my room or anywhere really and i feel pain in my heart.. I feel like shes crying somewhere and shes thinking of me and shes trying to forgive but thats just a feeling.. I always wanna call or text but shes asked me to limit it to nearly no communication because shes trying to heal. Its a suckky feeling knowing that my actions and lying has pushed her away and all i want to was to just love her. Shes so perfect to me and she tried to help me get everything in order but i would put it off.. Now look at me. Im doing this all alone.

I have thought to myself in why i even type on here.. I have so much in my head and i have to write this out.. And then i thought if this is all honesty coming out. When i write on here i get so carried away in typing because i start too tear up and i get emotional. Is this considered honesty? I put that im ashamed for lying on here.. I put stuff about my ex girlfriend and my education. Its all out here. Its all true. Sometimes i wonder if people ever just look on here and read this and really understand that im struggling. Man i know im not important in this world really, theres billions of people and they have there story and there struggles but this is mine. And i have plenty of struggles and happiness waiting for me.. And i have a vision of what i want and i have to fight for it. I dont want to be a liar anymore. I want to be a honest man that can be trusted and i want to be a firefighter and i want to have the right girl on my side and i want our love to be powerful because i would like to kiss my wife before i leave the house everytime i leave.

You all are probaly wondering why my girlfriend broke up with me.. And ive thought about saying it. And i will because i have to be honest about my story.. I want all my cards on the table already.

Well theres a lot of them.. A lot of lies. But im only really gonna type some serious ones.

I used to work at a pawnshop and well we had recently started dating. 22 days into the relationship i sent a inappropriate picture to another woman. My gf didnt find out till a year and months later. I understand why shes upset i mean i would be too. I never physically touched anyone nor kissed just sent a picture. I shouldve told her but i was scared so i just forgot about it and uninstalled snapchat. I thought my mistake would never come up again but it did. The whole 1 year and months i got to spend time with my girlfriend.. I got so into my gf that i stopped talking to the other girl. Forgot about her didnt even tell her that i had a gf just forgot about her. I fell inlove with her and she fell inlove with me.. I really do love her.

Another one is when me and my gf were at my house.. We were about to get evicted ( i live with my grandma and my cousin and 3 kids) my dad used to live with us but he had gotten arrested so he wasent helping with the bills. It all fell on to me and my cousin to pay all the bills (rent\water\gas) and to top it off this tree fell into our yard and knocked out the fuse box and my house was powerless and dark and cold. My family was getting sick and my gf had an issue with anxiety so she hated the dark and my house is a dark house. I needed money so like i said i used to work at a pawnshop so i made a desperate choice and i stole.. I had fixed a lot in the house but i had made a mistake..

I am a compulsive liar, and it is out of my control. I have realized that I have been this way ever since I remember, and it is destroying my relationships, and making me feel like a real shithead. I really don’t know what to do. How do I stop lying compulsively?

Do you feel like those who habitually lie have less motivation to do things? We can always lie our way out of putting in work so at the end of the day we don't really need to accomplish anything. We can just keep lying to get our way and to keep up appearances.

But what happens when you become an adult and your behavior can no longer serve you in your field of choice such as being a doctor or software engineer? You probably have never worked hard so you don't know how to put in effort for things you want to do. How do you overcome this?

I feel like I am such a person, and was wondering if anyone else feels the same way. If so, how do you think you could solve this?

This is so embarassing.. but hey all! I’ve been with my boyfriend for the past 8 months. I tend to lie about super dumb things like.. that I have a brother who smokes weed (I do have a stepbrother technically so I refer to him), that my dad was a comic book artist (he did used to draw comics), that I had a new job after I was gonna get fired from our job. It’s dumb little lies to make myself more interesting or not. Or that I’m throwing up to see if he cares about me or something. I get very insecure as I have borderline personality disorder and I have yet to tell him. My question is.. how do I stop with these Little lies? I’m getting real sick of it.

So I've lied to my girlfriend about some stuff and I'm gonna tell her the truth about everything. I don't really know what to expect but oh well. Wish me luck, I guess, I don't know. 😐

Update: this isn't going well

Another update: I'm not single. Yet. I think I'm in the clear tho. Thanks to the one person (as of when I'm updating this) who wished me luck

So today I decided to start doing Reddit, so I could write some stuff, and maybe get some feedback from the wonderful anonymity that is the internet. So here we go. I have a huge problem with lying. And it doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes I will lie maliciously, sometimes it’s just from force of habit. I don’t think about it. It’s like an addiction or a habit or both. I have been to therapy to discuss lying and I am told there’s a deeper meaning behind it and I need to figure it out. So for the sake of anonymity I’m going to tell some lies that I’ve told. Many of the details will be different from the real events, but the lies will nevertheless be the same. Lie #1: I have been with this girl for about a year. (This is a serious relationship for clarification) A holiday is approaching, I can’t recall which, a birthday, Valentine’s day, something in which a present would be expected. But we’re pretty much broke and I tell her we’ll just spend time together so that we don’t have to spend money on something, and she’s got no problem with that. Immediately after telling her this I leave for work, and stop at the gas station and buy a pack of smokes, some snacks and a couple energy drinks. The next day in the morning, she says she left something in my car and goes and gets it. When she comes back she’s mad as hell. I have no idea what she could be mad about so I ask and ask and ask and ask, and finally she reveals that she saw a gas station receipt from yesterday for however much money. She says that she understands not spending money on a frivolous present, and quality time is great, but how can I say that we can’t spend the money, if I’m just gonna spend it on shit we don’t need, like energy drinks and cigarettes. So at the time, I didn’t think there was really anything wrong. I thought, my money, I can do what I want with it. Or something along those lines. Although this was my thought process, my response was different. In which case, it was more lies. I told her I was sorry, and I was tired that day so that’s why I got the energy drinks and blahblahblah. I made excuses and eventually the whole thing kinda blew over, and it was pretty much forgotten.

Lie #2: My wife sends me to get dinner. We are both tired and hungry, so we’re getting some fast food. She’s got a list of things for me to get for us and the kids. So while I make the order, I get an extra food item of some sort. I eat it on the way home and stuff the trash in between the seats. I get home and I toss the receipt in the trash as I get everyone all set up for dinner. We eat. Next day, wife goes to her doctor’s appointment. She comes in with the wrapper from last night’s sneaky food. And she asks me what’s this? And I say “I don’t know.” This is where it gets stupid (on my end). Of course I know where it came from, but my brain basically says “deny, deny, deny.” So she has to go through this 20 question interrogation to get it out of me. Then she asks me why I lied about it. And in my head at first, I think, “what lie?” I didn’t even realize it was lying until I really sat down to think about it. One of her questions was along of the lines of what reason do you have to sneak food? Do you think I care? This was a lie that had no business being a lie. Yet I do this ALL THE TIME.

There’s many more lies to tell, but I’ll save it for later. These are just a couple of simple examples. Here’s the thing, though. I get all the negative shit about lying. How no one will trust me, how my credibility will be lost, how I am only hurting the people who care about me. I know all that. I get it. I don’t know how to stop. It takes some conscious effort of some sort, but I feel like I’m missing something in my thought process to be able to make it happen. I’ve been lying since I was little, and I think my family just let me get away with it. Now it seems as though getting away with it made me think I was good at it. Now that I’m an adult, lying has become much more of a problem. I don’t get away with it like I used to. After therapy and some self searching and whatnot I now understand more the ramifications of lying. Yet I still do it.

TL;DR – I lie, about big things and small things. I need to figure out how to not lie. How do I keep myself from lying.

I mean we all lie. Some of us don't even mind it. White lies are the entrance and then it somehow gets inside our personality. I don't have any manual how to stop but I will be adding my progress, my thoughts, my help. Lying is NOT A JOKE!

I’ve learned that suffering comes from lies, manipulation and deception. The biggest problem with Americans today is they lie to themselves. Most people have a fear of things they have done in the past, so they lie. Instead of embracing their past, they hide from it. As someone who takes pride in speaking the truth on the highest level, I’ve learned patience is my greatest tool. I must continue to patient with people who continue to hide from their actions and their feelings. If we could all be honest and truthful with one another life would be so much better, however we can’t. People are afraid. Once people realize that the path to the life they want starts with the truth, life will be much easier for them. However, people would rather endure long term suffering opposed to dealing with the short term pain of speaking the truth about their actions. It’s ok to make mistakes, you have to accept those mistakes before you can forgive yourself and be forgiven. When it’s not ok to make a mistake is when you lie about it and keep it hidden.