Has anyone ever dated someone that will lie to you and stick with no matter how much you prove that they've been caught? They even try to make you think you are crazy for what you've seen I caught an ex cheating on me. I even had photos that showed everything but penetration and she just refuses to admit a thing. I don't want her back or anything like that but for her to just aknoledge that it happened . I just don't understand her mindset or what she thinks she is accomplishing?

I’ve been lying about the stupidest stuff for as long as I can remember. It started as a way to try to escape the abuse my step-father put me through and it hasn’t stopped. But the lies don’t really do anything for me, and I’m most of the time not even aware that I’m lying until I’ve already done it.

How I describe it is that my mouth works faster than my brain, and it makes up stupid stories and excuses before my brain can stop it. I have tried so much, and nothing can stop it. It’s hell.

I feel like my life is built off of these lies. Lies I know are false are starting to get mixed up with my truths. I’ll catch myself telling me things that have caused me trauma are things I made up, I want to believe it didn’t happen. I want to believe I made it up, when I know it’s true.

I’ve never heard of anyone else experiencing this, my doctors say it’s because of my ODD. They say it was the major factor that led to the diagnosis, yet no one else with ODD experiences this. I don’t know what to do, I hope anyone here can offer me anything that I haven’t already tried. Thanks for reading.

now, pathological might be an overstatement—perhaps compulsive would suit me better. hi, i’m mask, and i have been lying my whole life. i’m 20 going on 21 this year, diagnosed with severe adhd and rsd (rejection sensitive dysphoria). i’m pretty aware by now that a lot of my lying is rooted in my low self-esteem, and the fear that i have in terms of judgement but also my own responsibilities: ie, i lie to avoid “punishment” from those around me (my boss, my friends, my family), and i lie to avoid what i see as criticism from my peers when it comes to my interests or hobbies.

sometimes, the lying is just simple “masking”, things i do as a neurodivergent person to fit in and seem more “normal”, so that people don’t judge me or find me weird.

the lying becomes compulsive at times, and i think this has to do a lot with my own trauma. growing up my dad was pretty abusive towards me and my mom, my siblings sometimes, but we faced the brunt of it. i lied constantly as a defense mechanism to avoid my dad’s bouts of rage and anger, but when i would get caught in lie, he would become even more angry. he broke my belongings, would scream at me, and on the rarest of occasions, hit me—so i learned to lie better. because the problem most of the time was not my behavior, as an adhd, depressed ten year old, but rather, my father’s abrupt and aggressive reactions to the things he didn’t like. so instead of clawing at my own skin and pulling at my hair trying to find ways to appease him, i found my own solutions to his anger, and i became a great liar.

but now i find i can’t stop lying because they’re an underlying fear of all of the terrible things that will (read: probably won’t) happen to me if people know the truth.

this probably reads nonsensically and i know i’m rambling but i’m not sure of myself either.

it’s gotten so bad now, to the point where i will lie preemptively, but then create “proof” to evidence my lies.

for example.

i have depression and i struggle with getting out of bed in the mornings. i sleep through my alarms and i’m late to work frequently. this morning i slept through all six of my alarms, and realized i was about two hours late for work. terrified of the consequences or of being fired, i told my boss there was an emergency, and that i would explain when things settled down.

there was no emergency of course, but i created one.

the scenario i came up with was: when i went out to check the mail this morning, someone’s dog had gotten off of the leash and attacked me. my evidence to this lie? i sat down in the shower and slashed my arms up with a boxcutter. batshit, i know, but if it makes this sound even a little less unhinged, i’m no stranger to self-harm. i also often pierce myself or attempt body modifications during manic episodes.

needless to say i got away with my lie.

but why am i so desperate and willing to take things this far and why is it so easy?

inb4 “how do we know you’re not lying now”, i don’t lie because i think i’m clever or because i think i’m some sort of master manipulator. i’m just super fucking mentally ill and afraid of the person that i have become in life. i don’t lie to hurt people or to worsen people’s situation. i might be a coward but i don’t gain any sort of satisfaction or joy from seeing people suffer.

god, if you read through all of this i applaud you, and i thank you. any advice at all is more than welcome. i am so tired.

I have been a compulsive liar for as long as I can remember. From early childhood, I used to lie about petty things to make myself seem interesting/not boring to people around me. Slowly, that graduated into lying people into thinking better of me than I actually am and manipulating people close to me. I have been consciously trying to avoid lying now for the past three years. But I still sometimes slip. And this is really affecting one relationship that is very, very close to my heart. I've already talked about this to the person involved and they have been extremely patient with me, helping me through this with unimaginable strength. But I am afraid this will end up screwing things up. What should I do?

I am a compulsive liar.

From various relationships, and being the people pleaser I am, I’ve always told people what they wanted to hear.

While being a people please, I’m also a non confrontational person, and will flee at the sight of being confronted, or asked something.. and lies just spill out, afraid to tell the truth, it’s compulsive.

I’m in a relationship with A, we’ve been together for 7months.

3rd or 4th month, I lied to her about whether or not I threw away something that had little value to me, only monetary value (I’m a very money hungry individual) was holding me back from throwing it away. So I gave it to a friend instead.

A found out, I continuously lied to her, and then after so many attempts of lying and making up shit (gas lighting) finally told her the truth (after she asked for the last time).

I needed to stop, wanted to stop. I have went my whole life lying to everyone, not all the time, but certainly most of the time.

I recently confessed that I’ve been raped before, something I haven’t told anyone in my life. A day or two later, I lied again. It had been 4 months since lying incident.

Tid bit : Being raped by 3 different people, 2 I was in a relationship with, is almost unbearable. And I couldn’t handle it alone- so for 12 years (when the first rape happened) I have repressed memories, told myself it didn’t happen; all while blaming myself for what happened.

I told her I hadn’t texted a friend/ person (rapist), when indeed I did (not flirting or anything worth lying about, simply a conversation about whether she’s moving or not).

To me, it was a ‘farewell’, I know it shouldn’t be okay to text your rapist, I felt weird, gross and ashamed, and if I felt those things, why wouldn’t A .. is what my bad brain was telling me.

Again, gas lit her (unintentionally, but just because it was unintentional doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt her- i know that)... and finally told the truth.

The next day, I did it again. Same, about texting someone what had happened day prior. No reason to hide, wasn’t talking shit, just needed advice and to confide in someone.

She’s staying for now, not sure what she is going to do... and i understand that.

but I don’t want to lie anymore. I want to be honest, with myself, her, and others.

Is there an AA for liars?

When I first lied to her, I only changed my lying habits with her, instead of all together. A regret. I’m composing a list of all the lies I’ve told and will reach out to those and give a formal apology. I’m seeing my therapist 2x a week currently. A mentioned repurposing the AA 12 steps into my lying habits, and that’s a really good idea and something I’m for. I’m buying “I love you but I don’t trust you” for A, and instead of her reading it, I will read it to her in hopes to build that connection and trust again, but I know I need to do more.

I just feel and want more help.

I feel so terrible about it even though it was about 8 months ago. So much money went into it and I lied to everyone saying “I have a feeling this went bad, I probably won’t pass it.” I want to tell at least my boyfriend so badly. He is so honest about everything and I’m a fraud. At least that’s how I feel. Im not sure what im looking for here, because obviously I will have to tell him and one day even my family and friends. I feel so ashamed. I’m not a bad person, I was just so afraid to fail that I’d rather pretended to go and not tell anyone that I didn’t. I thought I could live with it, but the thing is i don’t want to. I know what I have to do - I will retake the exam, pay all the costs myself and pass it. But that’s gonna be really tough. Can anyone relate in a way?

Hello fellows, I just wanted to swing by to let everyone know that I, the founder of this sub, am back in town.

Every time we act in a particular way , certain things take place inside our biochemistry , that we have no control over . And when we are lying to people, when we are being deceptive or cooking up stories in our minds , it becomes a highly taxing activity for our brains ,  because of which there are certain thiñgs that we do, that we have no control over.

Research suggests that our subconscious mind is actually fairly good at spotting liars - it is only when we try to spot them consciously , that our mind sometimes fails us. It may seem counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to tell if someone is lying to you is to trust your intution.

Observe how their words and body language makes you feel. Use your observation skills , and trust your gut, if you remember to do that, few will be able to decieve you .

Youtube Video for Reference :

How to Catch if Someone is Lying to You ?

Thanks for Reading !!

I don’t know why, but it’s practically impossible for me to stop lying. I do it out of habit. Usually, it’s motivated by boredom (i.e. wanting to start a conversation with someone,) or a need for sympathy, validation, or interest from another person. It’s usually the flaw that ends most of my relationships, because I compulsively lie about absolutely everything and they catch on to the fact my life isn’t as crazy as I make it seem. For example, the guy I’m currently talking to, (but not dating,) thinks I currently have norovirus and my dad got arrested about an hour ago. Whenever our conversations get boring, I say something totally obscure like, “I just had sex with a girl,” to make him take interest in me. It works sometimes, but if he doesn’t pay attention, I’ll keep coming up with lies until he does. He’s not mature enough to understand I’m lying, but it’s still a lot of loose ends to keep track of. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Here are some of the lies I’ve told:

1. My dad had liver cancer and almost died

2. Im inferior due to endometriosis

3. I’ve had a miscarriage

4. A close friend of mine is my blood sister

5. I work 12 hour night shifts as a Nurse Aide

6. My cat / grandma / cousin / whatever has died

The list could go on and on. I don’t know how to stop.

I've lied to everyone I know. There's not a single person who has received only truth from me. I've lied to parents, friends, family, anyone really. For me it was just easier than telling the truth.

Today was bad. I was copying my friend's homework from a photo on my phone in the beginning of the class when it was due. The teacher walks up and confronts me and I immediately start lying about it saying oh I left it at home and right now only a couple hours later I can't remember what I said. Now the teacher hates me, and since he knows who I copied off of, he will hate them too. I really messed up. My friend (I hope they still are) is one of the smartest people I know, very underrated and very hard working. I'm a slacker in the subjects that I'm not interested in (humanities). This friend has a great future ahead of them and I'm afraid that I messed up their dream by screwing his grade in this class.

I am an utter piece of garbage.

i'm 14 years old and i used to weigh 42.5lbs. my mom wants me to stay skinny so i diet all the time (she helps me) but it isn't that strict as she lets me eat sweets when i eat with my parents at home or sometimes get a sugary drink outside. this is all because since two years ago i used to be that really really skinny like a stick girl who was able to eat how ever much she wanted without getting any fat but since my period started around 13, my hormones got crazy and i started gaining weight to around roughly 45kgs. that was the first time i lied to my parents about my weight telling my mom all the time every morning that "i was 40kg today" but my actual weight went up to 45kgs. my mom found out when i had a dance concert and i look really really fat and she told me to go on the weighing machine and she saw my real weight. i don't remember much (because i was so depressed with guilt with what i did) but i remember she got super angry at me for lying to her about my weight and why i ate other peoples food at school like a homeless person just for me to gain useless weight. time skip after that though and i lost weight up till 42.5-43kg in three months. when quarantine started, i started eating the sweets at home without permission because i was so stressed with school and the diet. my mom eventually found out because of the decreasing food storage and i got in trouble after that mainly because this was the second time i've lied. then i lied for the third time this week. school started in person around where i live two months ago and i've been snacking all the time with my friends. and of course though i workout a lot at home i gained wait till 45.8 (the heaviest i've ever been in my life). my thigh is so big my butt is just falling around and my arm is big too and you can clearly see my face fat. friends and people at school and my dance friends always tell me that i'm still skinnny and that they're "jealous"how i can eat a lot but stay skinny at the same time when in fact i'm struggling to maintain it. my mom being my mom knew i was lying about my weight again and that i rigged the machine. and she found out just this morning about me rigging the machine and i just got yelled at a lot today. she didn't give me breakfast as punishment and all morning she wouldn't stop calling me a "fat ugly bitch" and "short fat bitch" and more i can't remember anymore and i know it's all my fault with me lying all the time but i can't stop and i hate myself for it and i don't know what to do with life anymore. my mom hates me and tells me that i can't talk to her until i'm 40 kg again but gets mad when i don't try an attempt to talk to her with what crimes i've done. she won't stop telling me how i'm not actually smart (my gpa is 4.0) but i'm just lucky that the people around me are stupid and that i should make up for my half assed decisions i always make with having good body style and trying to maintain being skinny for my ugly face too. i know this is all my fault but i don't know what to do anymore i just want to die to be honest and just not eat anymore. she watches me workout now and forced me to this morning without giving me water and i almost fainted when i was done in my room. i'm so sorry if i didn't make sense please ask questions if you have any i'd be glad to answer them. i'm in a rush since my electronics are taken away (posting this from my ipad) but i'll get back to any of the pms and replies. i'm so sorry for taking your time with my nonsense, but i hope all of you have a good day.

I am a compulsive liar, and it is out of my control. I have realized that I have been this way ever since I remember, and it is destroying my relationships, and making me feel like a real shithead. I really don’t know what to do. How do I stop lying compulsively?

Step 1. Pretend to be a bad liar. Any chance you have to lie and be caught, do it. This is crucial. How to be a good liar, act like a bad one.

Step 2. Always be aware of who is in the room. If you have two other people in the room, always remember that both of them can hear you. If you lie to person #1, then person #2 also heard the same thing. If you told a lie to one person, you told it to everyone.

Step 3. Think ahead. If you say something that is a lie, remember that you lied to that person. They will always remember when you failed at lying to them. This is key for when you have to lie and get away with it.

Step 4. Always have a reason for what you do. Say something stupid, do it on purpose. Do something stupid, do it on purpose. From here on out, all of your actions are self-conscientiously remembered by whoever hears or sees it.

Step 5. Remember. Everyone you've ever fake lied to, being words or actions, now thinks you're a bad liar. This can take up to many months to do. Don't forget who you've played. They are under your control now. Anything you say or do will feel like an accident to them. You're the only one who knows the truth. You can say or do anything you want now.

Step 6. Lie. Lying should feel like reality now. When yo lie, it should feel like the truth. People will believe it's the truth because they know (think) you're a bad liar. Use this to your advantage. There are many things that you can lie about to get what you want.

Step 7. Never tell someone you're a bad liar and the reason why you are a good liar. You just lost all power you had over somebody. When you pretend to lie and when you actually lie become obvious to them. You have no more power.

Step 8. Forget all honesty you ever had. You might not feel good about yourself. You might feel powerful, but you're honesty has all but deteriorated. After a while you don't notice it. Lying has become your life. You will use it to your advantage whenever you have a chance. Embrace it. Enjoy it. It will help you. It will hurt you. But at the end of the day, you control what's going on around you.

So i can only say that i have lied amd that is a huge step to even take when knowing that you are a liar. I have lost respect and love to lying and i wish i could take everything back but whats done is done. I recently lost my gf and im pretty fucking bummed because i know that im not a bad person and i had no reason to lie. I lie out of fear so i wont get caught in trouble but ive learned that either way in the moment you lie or 100 years from that time you told a lie.. You set yourself up for a bad time. I recently lost my gf and im so sad and lonley and i just miss her.. I hate lying and i wish that i find the power to be more honest. If you have any problem with lying.. First step is addmitting that you are a liar. I will keep updating this in critical situations.

(Update)

Ive been studying my family and the way they are. There all liars and there so good at it that they dont even notice they are. They lie for a lot of reasons like if they are asked a favor and they dont want to actually help you so they lie to not do it or if asked something personal they lie to hide the truth. I grew up around my family and i guess i inherited this habbit. It sucks that i had to lose such a beautiful woman to even realize i have a problem. I told all my friends that i have a problem and im lucky that they still accept me and they kinda knew but they knew im not a bad person. Just a person lying to getting out of a sticky situation or avoiding things. I have been getting better at being honest. I still catch myself saying lies everynow and then so i stop and i say "sorry i lied about that" i say it so they can know that im lying, and i hope to feel ashamed for lying. I hope i learn the embarrassment feeling very well so i can get it into habbit and not lie anymore. I will get better. Tired of being a liar. And i will change for me and the people that love me. I'll update this again even though no one might be reading this. This helps me as well.

(Update 2)

So im having a hard time in i guess i can say recovery.. I feel nothing but guilt and regret and more angry because of the position that im in. But ive heard that accepting the consequences is help too. I have to embrace my errors and flaws.. Realize that there not the right choice. Feeling like im feeling right now is something i would never wanna do again. Im trying to learn how to forgive myself so i can feel like i can be forgiven by others. These lies have piled up on me and im going to dispose of them. I havent spoken to my ex girlfriend much nearly to at all. I know shes hurting.. I wish i can go talk to her and show her that im always there but will she even believe me? Because im a fucking liar and its stressful because i love this girl to the fucking max and i got in my own way of that. She slapped me before she exited my life, i still feel the force on my face. When she slapped me i didnt get angry but more guilt because i felt like deserved it. She cries and i feel more guilty because this girl loves me so much amd i see her struggling to continue to love me.. And i have tons of respect because i have noticed how broken and dysfunctional i am and all im doing is breaking her. Its crazy because usually people wouldnt admit to them being in the wrong. I was a person that rearly ever felt guilt.. But im feeling it so much right now.

I am going to get better. I always feel better writing on here.

All i know is if i had another chance i would use it wisely.. Never lie and speak nothing but the truth. A whole lot of people lie because there afraid of how things really should happen. If you are in trouble and you use lying to wiggle your way through.. Think about it man, youre safe for now but what about later? When you have stuff in your life straightened out this lie is going to come up and ruin everything. I would know because ive experienced this. Right now i feel worthless and guilty and not special, i wouldnt want anybody to go through this. Some people choose the path of lying. Im trying to get off this shitty path. Hopefully everything i want is at the end.

(Update 3)

So this update is a positive one.. But first let me tell you a little bit about me so IF anybody is reading. I am 21 years old and i am a maintenance man at a grocery store. I dropped out of school when i was 15 or 16 i cant remember. Ive always been ashamed of not finishing so this is kinda hard to say, but its anonymous so i guess im okay with it. Ive only had shitty jobs and ive been pushed by people to get sometype of diploma or a ged.. But i was ignorant and angry so i never listened till recently.. Me and my ex were talking about future careers for me and we had narrowed it down to what i really wanted to be and that was a firefighter. We spoke about the process and i could get it with my ged. My ged was the stepping stone to a new path.. And i have been avoiding it this whole time. I was scared and embarrassed and it was always too much for me to take so i gave up. See when my girlfriend left me.. I had noticed so many things that are wrong with me. I had no type of diploma or ged , i had a low job , this hurts typing. Anyways i have decided to stop and fix everything.. Im doing it for so many reasons and the main one is me. If my ex would take me back improved it would make me the happiest guy l.. I would be so proud of myself knowing i had overcame all these problems and fought for what i loved and needed.. And if not.. If she dosent come back i mean at least im better and time heals all. Anyways back to the whole point of this update i have taken a step already and booked my science ged test already. I have to take four test which is (english\science\history\math). Im going to try and finish all of them before i have my birthday.. So i can have a good reason to celebrate lol it feels so good right now and all i wanna do is hear someone say that there proud of me.. But i only really have two freinds and there not answering the phone and i sent a message to my ex telling her about it and i dont even know if im blocked on her phone. Im alone right now and i just bummed out now. Either way im closer to my goal. Man this really turned into some diary..

(Update 4)

Man i really wish there was a button that you can press and everything would be fixed. I sit here and think all the time and its starting to get frustrating, i have two freinds and there available after work but sometimes im just not into doing what they wanna do which is video games or basketball or smoke some weed and dont get me wrong i like it sometimes.. But most of the time i really just wanna spend time with just her. We would wake up early like around 6 or 7 am and cuddle and laugh and smoke some grass before doing anything we do. Thats how we started our day.. She would always wanna do everything for me like wash my clothes and clean my room and please me at any point.. Our mentality is so similar, we would even finish eachothers sentences. I know that im young but this feeling i have towards her is not like any other connection ive ever had with anybody else. I feel like sometimes when im in my room or anywhere really and i feel pain in my heart.. I feel like shes crying somewhere and shes thinking of me and shes trying to forgive but thats just a feeling.. I always wanna call or text but shes asked me to limit it to nearly no communication because shes trying to heal. Its a suckky feeling knowing that my actions and lying has pushed her away and all i want to was to just love her. Shes so perfect to me and she tried to help me get everything in order but i would put it off.. Now look at me. Im doing this all alone.

I have thought to myself in why i even type on here.. I have so much in my head and i have to write this out.. And then i thought if this is all honesty coming out. When i write on here i get so carried away in typing because i start too tear up and i get emotional. Is this considered honesty? I put that im ashamed for lying on here.. I put stuff about my ex girlfriend and my education. Its all out here. Its all true. Sometimes i wonder if people ever just look on here and read this and really understand that im struggling. Man i know im not important in this world really, theres billions of people and they have there story and there struggles but this is mine. And i have plenty of struggles and happiness waiting for me.. And i have a vision of what i want and i have to fight for it. I dont want to be a liar anymore. I want to be a honest man that can be trusted and i want to be a firefighter and i want to have the right girl on my side and i want our love to be powerful because i would like to kiss my wife before i leave the house everytime i leave.

You all are probaly wondering why my girlfriend broke up with me.. And ive thought about saying it. And i will because i have to be honest about my story.. I want all my cards on the table already.

Well theres a lot of them.. A lot of lies. But im only really gonna type some serious ones.

I used to work at a pawnshop and well we had recently started dating. 22 days into the relationship i sent a inappropriate picture to another woman. My gf didnt find out till a year and months later. I understand why shes upset i mean i would be too. I never physically touched anyone nor kissed just sent a picture. I shouldve told her but i was scared so i just forgot about it and uninstalled snapchat. I thought my mistake would never come up again but it did. The whole 1 year and months i got to spend time with my girlfriend.. I got so into my gf that i stopped talking to the other girl. Forgot about her didnt even tell her that i had a gf just forgot about her. I fell inlove with her and she fell inlove with me.. I really do love her.

Another one is when me and my gf were at my house.. We were about to get evicted ( i live with my grandma and my cousin and 3 kids) my dad used to live with us but he had gotten arrested so he wasent helping with the bills. It all fell on to me and my cousin to pay all the bills (rent\water\gas) and to top it off this tree fell into our yard and knocked out the fuse box and my house was powerless and dark and cold. My family was getting sick and my gf had an issue with anxiety so she hated the dark and my house is a dark house. I needed money so like i said i used to work at a pawnshop so i made a desperate choice and i stole.. I had fixed a lot in the house but i had made a mistake..

ok plz help so i want to stay at a boys house one night but if i ask my dad he won’t let me, if i tell him i’m staying at my friend ‘kaylas’ house he will let me but he will text her mum to ask if it’s okay. i was planning on just changing the contacts on his phone to my friends phone number instead so she can pretend it’s her mum telling my dad it’s okay if i stay but he will realise the previous conversations between kaylas mum and him have gone, what should i do, is there any way i can get around this??

Okay so this is a thing that happens to me. Someone will ask me about something in my life, and if I happen to have some shame about it or other negative feelings, even if I tell them the truth, I feel like I've lied to them. So then I'm constantly in this state of anxiety like I'll be "found" out, but really there's nothing to be found out about. What I guess I'm afraid of being "found out" about is how I actually feel about things. So because I don't tell people how so many things actually make me feel (feel badly that is), I feel like I am constantly lying to everyone. Like someone will ask me what I did with my day, and I will respond "I did homework, and went on a walk." And that IS what I did. But really, my entire day felt like this: I happened to have done the activities of homework and going on a walk, but my MAIN activity was processing all sorts of AWFUL anxious feelings all day and feeling like I barely got through it. So I feel like I'm lying if I just go "yeah, I did homework and went on a walk."

Does anyone else have this happen to them? That they constantly feel like they are lying, and then they check back on what they said, and you weren't actually lying?

I know it's hard to believe, that a compulsive liar would care about the people they've lied to. I wish I could do something to change my credibility but I can't. I'm seeing a therapist soon, and I've literally fought tooth and nail to be sure everything I've said is true (I got to a point where everything I said I believed), I just don't know how to ease the pain I've caused others now, specifically my boyfriend who won't let me go. :( Is there anyone whose dealt with compulsive lying who has made it work? I want to make it work too, I just know he's still hurt by it. I know I can't make him forgive me. Is stopping the behavior, apologizing, and getting help the only thing I can do or is there more?

So I've lied to my girlfriend about some stuff and I'm gonna tell her the truth about everything. I don't really know what to expect but oh well. Wish me luck, I guess, I don't know. 😐

Update: this isn't going well

Another update: I'm not single. Yet. I think I'm in the clear tho. Thanks to the one person (as of when I'm updating this) who wished me luck