r/firstgradeproblems • u/mannequine • Aug 21 '11
My mom told me strangers would offer me free drugs but it has never happened :(
304
Upvotes
r/firstgradeproblems • u/[deleted] • Aug 25 '11
The teacher said we could play seven-up today and I'm wearing my swooshy pants.
232
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/[deleted] • Aug 23 '11
When I asked the teacher "Can I go to the bathroom?" they replied "I don't know, can you?"
231
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/MyHeartIsReal • Aug 22 '11
Career crisis. Can't decide if I wanna be a pirate or a dinosaur when I grow up.
216
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/skeletonhat • Aug 22 '11
I-*gasp* Ca-*gasp* An-*gasp* Then-*gasp* He-*gasp* ... Wahhhhhhhhh!
194
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/chairstink • Oct 31 '11
Grown ups hold 99% of the world's candy.
192
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Revolution is at hand, gang.
r/firstgradeproblems • u/zetrate • Aug 26 '11
I called the Teacher "Mom" in front of the entire class.
188
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FML
r/firstgradeproblems • u/skeletonhat • Aug 24 '11
I don't think my dad is really listening when I talk about Pokemon
186
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/probly2drunk • Aug 23 '11
One of the moderators of r/firstgradeproblems is a GIRL!!!!!
169
Upvotes
Burn the witch!!! Take her milk money and steal her doll!!!
r/firstgradeproblems • u/utterdamnnonsense • Aug 22 '11
i have to stomp really hard to get my shoes to light up.
144
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/MyHeartIsReal • Aug 22 '11
I was smelling the marker because it smelled yummy but I smelled the marker too close and the color got on my nose :'(
140
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/[deleted] • Aug 29 '11
I ate a watermelon seed and now I'm scared I will have watermelons grow inside me
132
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/ricktard • Sep 06 '11
I think I have cancer, but when I try to check, Jimmy makes me hit myself in my face
128
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/Untitledprject • Sep 02 '11
All these people keep drawing weird S's and I don't know how or why.
125
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/duderino13 • Aug 26 '11
My epidermis is showing.
120
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It's embarrassing and I don't even know what it is.
r/firstgradeproblems • u/sandgoose • Sep 03 '11
I told my dad I was hungry and now he won't stop calling me "Hungry". My stomach hurts so much.
114
Upvotes
r/firstgradeproblems • u/tigerwaitress • Sep 10 '11
I wasn't even born when 9-11 happened.
109
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/dailyduds • Sep 11 '11
I want to use Comic Sans but my teacher says I have to use Times New Roman.
107
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/probly2drunk • Nov 12 '11
My dad made me watch Star Wars 4,5 and 6 before 1, 2 and 3...how does that even make sense??
103
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/PokeyPenguin • Aug 22 '11
I thought this gum was strawberry but it's Big Red and it burns!
102
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/Gamester677 • Aug 21 '11
All the girls in my school have cooties.
102
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