r/firstgradeproblems • u/[deleted] • Aug 21 '11
My uncle molests me.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/[deleted] • Aug 22 '11
I have 4 more grades to go till I can become a crossing guard :(
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/druid_king9884 • Sep 04 '11
Everyone is making fun of me because I ride the short bus.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/[deleted] • Sep 04 '11
I have a crush on 'Dora the Explorer', but, due to televisual/real-world complications, realise we can never be together.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/howdoyoudothis • Aug 27 '11
I didn't hold my breath the last time I was driving past the graveyard.
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What's going to happen to me? Maurice said I'd go to H-E-double chopsticks, but Maurice said that when Timmy said the S-word too and Timmy's still here so I think he's a big fat liar.
r/firstgradeproblems • u/[deleted] • Aug 25 '11
I fell off my razor scooter.
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now I'm going to have scars on my knees (true story).
r/firstgradeproblems • u/serenderppity • Aug 25 '11
My principal took away my Yu Gi Oh cards. Now, I can't trade with my friends during recess.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/sej2016 • Dec 24 '11
I said the f-word in front of my mom
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F*** it
r/firstgradeproblems • u/Bootleggers • Aug 24 '11
I kissed the girl I like and now i'm going to be a registered sex offender.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/HeresMyJournal • Aug 26 '11
Tomorrow I am going to get a stunt bike. Because my brother has a stunt bike and I want a stunt bike. Stunt bikes are really cool because you can do stunts on them.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/JoeCool888 • Jun 17 '13
My peepee swells up at school for no reason and makes a big bulge in my basketball shorts.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/Sporkfortuna • Sep 01 '11
My teacher handcuffed me and told me I was going to prison and I would never see mommy and daddy again.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/b3anz129 • Aug 25 '11
The hot, young teacher's aide is out sick today.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/btanabe2 • Aug 25 '11
The only day this week I wore sweatpants I end up getting a boner.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/holytitty • Aug 21 '11
all my friends have iphones but all i have is a blackberry
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/mtrythall • Aug 22 '11
I asked my girlfriend if we could kiss and she said she had to ask her Mom and Dad
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They said no :(
r/firstgradeproblems • u/KnapsackNinja • Jul 25 '14
My teacher is the only nun left in our school...
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She beats us with a yard stick and says that God couldn't have created such evil. She has a mustache bigger than my dad's.
r/firstgradeproblems • u/Chumpatizer • Nov 14 '11
In 15-20 years from now, I will watch these movies again and realize how terrible they are.
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r/firstgradeproblems • u/zetrate • Dec 10 '11
My marker didn't taste as good as it smelled
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and now my mouth is blue
r/firstgradeproblems • u/I_EAT_GUSHERS • Jul 26 '14
[4th grade, possibly in the year 2020] Jefferson City isn't the capital of Jefferson, but Oklahoma City is the capital of Oklahoma.
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This is confusing the shit out of me on my states and capitals test.