hi there

i’ll admit this is kind of my own doing. me and my boyfriend are both open and honest people, especially when it comes to our relationship, so i knew he’d answer truthfully but this thing has been eating me up. a few days ago we were on vacation and somehow the topic of “types” came up. i asked him what his type was and he said he prefers darker skin women or at least someone with darker skin so his kids “wouldn’t run the risk of being lighter”

i’m a light skin woman so hearing that really hurt. now i’m sitting here wondering if he even wants kids with me since by default they’d likely be light skin. i’ve never cared about the skin tone of my future children so i just don’t get where he’s coming from with that :/

i really love him and we’ve never had any issues before this so now i just don’t know what to do. i was honest with him too. i told him i don’t have a preference and that personality always trumps everything for me but unfortunately he didn’t feel the same

and today he told me that he used to pleasure himself to celebrities like billie eilish, cardi b, beyoncé, ice spice, sydney sweeney, and rihanna so now i’m really confused because don’t all of those women have light complexions? i just don’t get it

Okay, so imagine this: you’re walking somewhere in the city and you spot a guy from a distance. He’s got red hair that kind of shimmers in the moonlight not like glittering Disney prince levels, just this soft glow. He’s wearing a Gucci felt bucket hat (maybe it’s real, maybe he saved up for it, or maybe it’s a fake but like, a really good fake with actual quality). And then he casually starts talking to you in Latin.

Would you be like, “Whoa… this guy is so mysterious and cool… I kinda wish we could get to know each other”?

Also, would it be mysterious if this guy with the Gucci felt hat wrote his phone number in the sand in front of you, and then just ran away really fast? Like, would that come across as interesting and mysterious?

I've been going back and fourth in my head for months about this. My boyfriend is an amazing man and perfect in everyway. He treats me like a princess and I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. This post isnt necessarily about him, it's about his parents.

Were in college but he lives at home, I live in a dorm about 10 mins away from his house. You would think that means we would be able to see eachother all the time, but nope. His parents control everything he does. He has to ask to use his car (cuz they pay for it so it's technically not his car according to them), has to ask to hang out with me and they have and will say no. We could make plans a week ahead of time, and then day of his parents decide they dont want him to go. I have cried and have had so many panic attacks about this. So many times have I gotten ready and was so excited to see him, just for his parents to change their minds. This happened all throughout summer too. Nothing is every for certain and im consantly left in the unknowns if I can see him. I dont know why they are punishing him for something, and he doesn't either. Yesterday was a breaking point because his mom had invited me to their house for dinner and I was so excited. I got dressed, used my best makeup and was all ready when he texted me and said "nevermind, my dad said you cant come". I cried so much and I just feel stupid for continuing to let myself get let down consantly. It's not my boyfriends fault, he hates it so much. He was so angry yesterday and was just saying how badly he wants to move out and he is planning on getting an apartment next semester. He hates how controlling his parents are and he doesn't get it. Thats why I feel like im in a pickle. Idk if I should save myself from the constant let downs and heartache by just ending it, or stick it out because I do see a future with him and do love him so much, and I am his person and in his words "his only happiness rn". He doesnt want this, so I dont think it's fair to blame him or end it but god, I cant keep putting up with his parents. It gives me so much anxiety and I just dont know what to do anymore.

It's not the first time I've been on a date with a a guy that wouldn't stop talking about something they are interested in, but nothing else.

First guy was really into Warhammer - I told him many time I have no idea about what he's talking about and he wouldn't. stop. talking. It wasn't a casual interest sharing, it was a non-stop bombing with information about a subject I had no idea on, nor wanted to know more. I wanted to pivot into other subjects so many times but he just wouldn't let me.

Second guy, more recent, he wouldn't stop talking about his old ass car he renovated for 1.5 hours. I told him many times, I have no idea what he's talking about because I don't know shit about cars - especially the little parts and what they're for. And yet? He kept on going.

Just why? I've tried many times to change the subject to something more universal especially so we could get to know each other better, but it was just impossible. So why do men do this?

I (F) have been dating this guy (M) for a while now. We get along perfectly, he makes me laugh, our talks are amazing, he’s very attractive to me, and he’s been clear from the start that he has serious intentions. We’re already exclusive, and both of us are quite religious, so we waited a long time before becoming intimate because we wanted to build a strong foundation first.

Because of that, I thought our first time together would feel like it deepened the already super deep emotional connection we have. Instead, it felt like a step back.

The whole act felt like I was suddenly in a porn movie. He put me in about five different positions really quickly, started talking in English (we’re Spanish and he’s never done this before), and it honestly felt like I was with a completely different person. I know he watches porn we had briefly touched on it when talking about religion, and I even joked once about how he can be so religious while still consuming it. Honestly, I generally don’t care and it doesn’t make me insecure, as long as it doesn’t affect our sex life. I know a lot of guys watch it, but I didn’t expect it to play out like that. I just felt really disconnected and a bit shocked, even though, objectively, he had great skills.

Later he told me he was really nervous because he likes me so much and wanted me to enjoy it, which was actually very sweet. But I don’t know how to bring up how the experience felt for me. I don’t want to sound rude, judgy or like a prude haha but I also can’t imagine doing it again in the exact same way. I want to make love not just be f'ed if that makes sense..

Has anyone been through something similar? How do I talk to him about this in a kind way or should I just not say anything at all?

hi i’ve liked this person for two years, and they’ve become literally one of my best friends ever. we plan to move in together for our first year of college

i don’t think they know that i like them, but rumors have been spread that the two of us are dating that they very much denied and seemed put off by

i know for almost certain he doesn’t like me, but i can’t help but feel awful and upset whenever i remember :( he’s going on a date with someone i know he used to like soon, and i can’t get rid of this awful jealous feeling

i would love to date him, but i really don’t think it’s going to happen at this point. i worry that if i tried to ask him out it would be weird and ruin what we have, and i wouldn’t risk my friendship with him for the world. also, i don’t know how id even do that since we’ve hung out 1on1 before and it’s never been a date

how do i get over him?? im really sick of this jealous heartbroken feeling, i want to move on but don’t know how

28M, bartending at a downtown cocktail bar, been at it almost four years now. I see probably 6-10 first dates a week, mostly Thursday through Saturday.

Most of them met on dating apps. You can always tell because someone does the "you look just like your photos" thing in the first thirty seconds. A lot of them don't even do the early chatting themselves anymore, they set up some AI version of themselves on sparkrizz to handle the small talk and only show up in person once it actually seems worth it.

The good ones are easy to spot. Nobody touches their phone. Conversation just rolls, one thing into the next, no gaps. They lean in, they laugh at stuff that's not even funny from where I'm pouring. Drinks sitting there going warm because they forgot about them. Last week a couple at the bar talked through two full rounds without taking a sip. I had to ask if they wanted fresh ones.

The bad ones have a rhythm too. One person can't sit still, keeps adjusting, shifting around. The second there's a silence both of them reach for the glass at the exact same time. Every time. Like clockwork. The one who's checked out gives short answers to everything, eyes floating toward the door, toward the bathroom hallway. You can see them planning the exit in real time.

Worst version is when one person is carrying the whole thing. Asking questions, trying to build off answers, and the other person just gives them nothing. Two words. No follow up. Phone under the table. Those ones I feel bad watching.

Not trying to be harsh. Just what I see behind the bar every week. Some people click and some don't. That's it.

If you've been on the awkward side of one of these, did you know in the first ten minutes or did it take longer to hit you?

This is specifically NOT for people who express the desire to be single. I also know alot of people who ended up single for life and claim to be happier than they've ever been in a relationship. If you're one of those people this is NOT for you and it's not a personal attack on your lifestyle either.

I'm talking about this new online trend when someone going though a breakup, or is lonely or frustrated with the dating scene saying something like "I'm losing all hope" "I'm afraid I will end up alone" etc.

90% of the responses I see are people saying that if you aren't happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship and that a supportive group of friends is enough to make you happy and generally implying that if you feel sad for being single you should STAY single until you are magically happy.

No. Stop it.

I'm sick and tired of hearing it. I'm sick of family saying it, sick of friends saying it, sick of online strangers saying it.

The Void your partner was filling is DIFFERENT than the one your friends are filling. Love from your friends is not comparable to romantic love. Self-love is an entire different dimension than romantic love Self-love cannot replace romantic love. If you're happy with self-love and find it more fulfilling that's amazing for you but people expressing loneliness in a romantic setting will not benefit and it certainly doesn't mean they aren't already practising self-love.

There are MANY needs you can't satisfy with selflove and there's no reason to be shamed for knowing you can't be satisfied with it.

That doesn't mean we will settle or stay with the wrong people. It just means we recognise being unhappy.

This came from a friend I’ve known since college. He was one of those guys who could walk into a bar or party and effortlessly talk to almost anyone he was interested in.

I once asked him his secret, and he told me:

“Treat her like you know you could walk away at any moment knowing your life would still be perfectly fine without her.

He also made a point that you should not be overly cocky, rude, or a jerk. He meant remembering that you already have a life outside of this person.

I’ve used that mindset ever since, and it genuinely helps. It takes away a lot of the nerves and overthinking because you stop treating every interaction like it has to work out or that the stakes are on the same level of some avengers movie.

Basically: be interested, but don’t make the outcome responsible for your self-worth.

I used to think giving someone my number after talking on a dating app for a bit was completely normal. If the conversation was going well, moving to text just felt like the next step, on whatsapp or whatever (don't like snapchat). Then I had one situation get really weird. Things fizzled out with this person and I stopped replying but they kept texting from different numbers. Then they somehow found some of my other accounts and started messaging me there too. Nothing ended up happening beyond that, but it got creepy enough that I really did not enjoy knowing they had my actual number tied back to me.

Since then I’ve stopped giving matches my real number until I know them way better. I use a separate number now and honestly don’t see myself going back. Just wanted to share and warn people to not really be trusting of strangers on dating apps.

Me (F25) and my boyfriend (m25) have been dating for 4 years now. I finished school and it was my choice to earn a better life for myself. I was born in poverty so I had to work my way up. I make $30+/hr, so not too bad. But i have student debt to pay off, although I knew it would be a good career for me.

My boyfriend makes above minimum wage. $20+. But he doesn't seem to have any plans to make that better for him. He says he's going to go to school and etc, but after 4 years of dating I haven't seen him make any moves whenever I try to encourage him about it, he just seems to brush it off to the side and says that he doesn't want to be in debt for school, etc...

Recently, he's been more adamant talking about our future (marriage/moving in, etc) and I DONT FEEL SECURE. I don't want a partner that would drag me down financially, but as a woman, I feel more secure with a man that would provide WITH me. I grew up in a low income household so I don't ever want to feel stressed out about money, also why I went to school in the first place.

I love my boyfriend and everything but I feel like this has been really bugging me and turning me off big time. The lack of ambition and drive is killing me. I am so bothered. He's so loving and all but I don't want to settle like this.

note: he said he doesn't need to make more money than me. i dont want to be someones sugar mama. LOL

Against popular opinion I believe penis size does matter. It can't be too small that you can't feel anything. But it can't be too big that it's painful every time. I keep on hearing the so called "boyfriend dick" for being the best for relationships. An averaged size penis that's enjoyable and doesn't hurt.

But let's be honest, I never heard of women leaving guys for someone with a smaller penis. I've seen first hand that of women staying with guys that treat them terribly because they are hung. And they would leave a guy that's smaller for someone that's bigger.

Update: The average length is around 5" and the average girth is 4.6". I feel like most girls just believe what size the guys tell them. And don't actually know what 7-8inches actually looks like.

Hi Guys,

So i just matched with one of my idols, Matt Rife, on this dating app i’ve been using lately. Anyways, instead of me saying something absolutely embarrassing and completely basic, can the Reddit community help me on my desperate time of need?

Please share some of your favorite Pickup lines to from a hot girl to slide into a major comedians dms — bonus points for those specific to #MattRife 😂

I've been talking to my crush and I just want to know if he'll appreciate it or not.........

So I am considered quite attractive - and whenever I go on dates, men tend to be taken aback by my looks (I'm cute in pics but better looking in person). This leads to men being very interested at the beginning, along with the fact I'm personable and have my life together.

Also, I don't have sex very quickly, I take my time to get physically intimate.

What happens to me is either I am not into the guy and I break things off, or I get attached to the guy over time who is showing me consistent affection and care. I reciprocate in the following ways - I cook for them, plan and pay for half the dates, I get involved in their hobbies and interests, am friendly with their friends, support them emotionally when they are going through a tough time and repress my own needs and give them space when they are busy. I still maintain my friendships and passion and independence. However, over time - the men tend to lose interest, despite maintaining a lot of respect for me - saying that I'm fun and kind and they would love to remain my friend. I notice a lot of them stoping asking questions about my life or stop caring about my interests or planning dates, despite doing so at the beginning.

I know that type of person is not my person, but does anyone have any tips on filtering out men who are just gonna lose interest in a relationship with me or aren't actually passionate about who I am as a person? And is there a way to do it early on, before I go through this emotional cycle again?

- Sincerely,

Forever Heartbroken Girl Who Just Wants to Give Her Love to Someone

It's just something that happens to other people. Adults. I'm like a kid.

I've never been in a situation that was even remotely sexual. People just don't see me that way.

Even in middleschool, when everyone was playing spin the bottle, I was excluded. I just wasn't let it, because I wasn't considered "an equal", a sexual being.

I just was so beneath everyone that they collectively decided that I simply do not posses the ability and the right to have any sexual thoughts.

And to this day it is true. I'm in university, and when people discuss something related to relationships I'm quickly booted out of the conversation. Even physically sent out of the room.

And like I've said, never been in any kind of a situation that someone hinted that they might be interested, or that they even consider me as an option.

Rejection is one thing, but to not be even considered is a lot worse.

Can't imagine myself making some kind of a move, or flirting, or anything remotely sexual. It just wasn't meant for me. I don't even look like an adult. I see girls that I'd be interested in, but then I remember that it's just not for me.

Im 26M and I walked out on a date with a chick. She was cute and all but I really dont have patience on certain things.

Anyways, we were talking and things were going good. Then she started talking about guys she rejected. I didnt really care until she told this one story about some ugly guy trying to shoot his shot or whatever.

I didnt really care until she started bashing the guy. Growing up, I was called ugly hundreds of times. I could really relate to the guy. Then I paid the tab and left her there.

Not sure if I was over reacting or not.... but I really hate people being called ugly unless its deserved. I also hate gossip.

There’s been a lot of quiet talk online about his breakdown of male framing and how women react when a guy completely stops chasing. Supposedly, his original posts were quietly scrubbed from mainstream forums because the methods were considered 'too manipulative.' Does anyone know how legitimate this actually is, and if the protocol is genuinely worth reading?

I decided to try Tawkify because I genuinely did not have the time to manage dating on my own and it ended up being a great experience. As a busy professional having a dedicated matchmaker handle the introductions coordinate the dates and provide feedback made the entire process feel intentional and streamlined. The people I met were serious and relationship focused and I appreciated the level of thought that went into each match. While no service can guarantee instant chemistry I felt supported throughout and overall had a very positive experience.

Guys: girls make it clear when they want to be with you. They sleep with you. They want to see you. They clear their schedule for you. There are no other guys. They want to do sweet things for you. They want you to ask them out. It’s so simple. If you’ve been frienzoned, there’s no coming out of it.

Girls: when men want to be with you, they make it Austrian crystal clear. Maldives water crystal clear. They treat you with a sense of urgency. They want to see you in person. They don’t want anyone else being with you. They want a label. Yes, these guys still want sex, but they aren’t trying to get in your pants in the first month. If you’ve been “eff-zoned” (female version of being friendzoned) there’s no coming out of it.

Guys AND Girls:

If things are clear as mud….if you’re wondering…sitting in ambiguity….confused…THEY ARE NOT INTO YOU.

No one is avoidant of being with someone they want. They’re avoidant when they’re not interested in you. No one is afraid of a relationship or love. No one is THAT busy. THEY JUST ARE NOT THAT INTO YOU.

Think about that guy or girl who you KNOW is into you, that you don’t like back. THEY MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THEY LIKE YOU. You can FEEL IT. Think about that next time someone you’re into is confusing you.

If you’re having to decode texts….if they take DAYS to respond….if they keep bringing up how busy they are…if they’re taking WEEKS to schedule the next date (long distance isn’t the same)….THEY ARE NOT INTO YOU!

If you want things clarified, ASK THEM. ASK THEM!!!! PICK UP THE PHONE AND TALK TO THEM! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY. PUT YOUR EGO TO THE SIDE. The sooner you talk to them and ask them what’s up…..the better you’ll feel! You might not like the answer you get, and it may sting, but you’ll feel better and at ease. People are so afraid to ask and speak up due to ego and fear of being seen as weird, needy, or weak. If anything, it’s a sign of strength!!

If they decide they have changed their mind about you and don’t want to continue seeing you….it is OKAY. You WILL NOT DIE. It’s none of your business as to why they don’t want to continue things. Sure, they may have seemed soooooooo into you at first, but unfortunately, something changed along the way. This is the purpose of dating: to see if you’re into somebody. If they start fading out and give you a lame ass excuse like they’re “scared” or “not ready”, this is a total cop out. They’re lying and don’t want to hurt your feelings. If they ghost you, they’re a piece of shit. Why the eff would you want to be with a person WHO DOES NOT WANT YOU?! Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be around you, who isn’t in a hurry to see you, who isn’t EXCITED about seeing you, someone who doesn’t want to kiss and touch you, someone who doesn’t want to do fun things with you, someone who doesnt want to talk to you every day? Once someone’s made their mind up, why the eff would you want to change it?!

C’mon guys and girls…..you’re better than this. You’re better than sitting around wondering what you did wrong….wondering what’s wrong with you.…wondering why they changed their mind...yall need to learn to pump the brakes when things feel off. You need to walk away when someone isn’t consistent and making you feel confused. Put your foot down!!! You won’t die from rejection.

Final note: if you’re Reddit and TikTok looking for reassurance…..you have your answer. Someone who’s into you won’t have you on here asking for reassurance.

Signed, a person who’s fed up and has spent YEARS being this person sitting ambiguity. I don’t want others to keep being this person either. We deserve love and to be wanted! Love yall!

I’m 26F and work in a hospital. For the last few weeks there’s been a contractor working on site and we’ve had the occasional chat when we see each other.

Yesterday he asked if I needed any work done at my house. I said no because I’m renting. A little later he handed me a piece of paper with his name and number on it and said, “if you change your mind.”

I just said, “okay, no worries, I’ll let you know.”

I’m not interested (not really my type, although older guys usually are), but it got me wondering:

Do friendly women often get mistaken as being interested?

I’ve noticed I seem to have much easier conversations and better banter with older men than with guys my own age. The people who strike up conversations with me are usually 40+, while men around my age rarely do.

Has anyone else noticed this? Is it just that older people tend to be more confident and comfortable making conversation?

I’ve never had someone give me their number before, so even though I’m not interested, I was pretty surprised by it!

I’m just curious what are the things that happened during first dates that was a huge turn you off and made you know that there won’t be a second. One of the most common things people said is being rude to others, which I agree with.

I’ve been trying to get better at talking to people, especially after work when I’m tired but still want some kind of connection.

I came across Aveola and wasn’t sure what to expect. I didn’t have high expectations, but I still tried it for about 2 weeks.

The experience was mixed. Some conversations felt awkward or ended quickly, but a few felt real and easy. It kind of worked as low-pressure practice without overthinking too much.

I wouldn’t say it’s great for long-term friendships, but it did help me feel a bit more comfortable talking to new people.

If anyone here has tried something like this, did it help you improve your social skills or not really?

I’m 20(F) and my ex recently broke up with me because i lied about my bodycount. I lied because i regretted it so deeply and those experiences happened when I was alone for the first time and depressed. Having sex was the first time I was able to find anything close to love and at the time I thought that is how you get a man to stick around and like you. Looking back I regret making the same mistakes over and over again for love and now I lost the one person I’ve actually loved. My body count is around 10 and 2 being boyfriends I told my ex mine was around 3 because I was lying to myself by saying the other ones didn’t matter. Other than the boyfriends I wish it all never happened, and having being broken up with because of it really hurts. Now I can’t stop feeling shame over it and feeling disgusted with myself. I just want to find love and find the one for me and now i’m worried i’ll never be able to.

Currently, I’m not really looking for a boyfriend so I decided to go back on the Apps. I had some dates, some led to sex. I have it in my profile I’m not looking for anything serious and if the conversation comes up I tell them too. Sometimes we have sex, but that’s it. And usually, I think the sex is pretty good too (at least for the‘m for sure it is). So what happens, that after that night there is no reaching out anymore. I did it once with a guy, he didn’t reply. The other one said he was busy then came back two weeks later asking me to sleep over and then disappeared again. Another guy I had sex with, asked me to me again and we spend literally the whole day together, great sex and then nothing. I don’t understand, how to maintain or construct like a „Friends with benefit“ kind of situation.

Yesterday I met a guy and we talked for 5 hours and got along well. Since they know I’m down for causal, I don’t think they need to fake anything I guess. The sex was great and I left and that’s it but I fear it will be the one and last time. So either I am completely delusional and really bad in bed (which I really don’t think) or a terrible person. Which one is it?