r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 25 '15

May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.

947 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 26 '15

May your mother come to talk to you, and then leave your door slightly ajar, so that you have to get up and close it.

868 Upvotes

Hey thanks for the gold, it's my first gilding!


r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 25 '15

May every sock you wear be slightly rotated, just enough for it to be uncomfortable.

849 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 26 '15

May your article load that little extra bit as you're about to click a link so you click an ad instead

646 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 25 '15

May both sides of your pillow be warm.

566 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Sep 29 '15

May your chair produce a sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it to prove that it was just the chair.

467 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 26 '15

May you forever feel your cell phone vibrating in the pocket it's not even in.

428 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Sep 07 '15

May You Always Get Up From Your Computer With Your Headphones Still Attached.

402 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 25 '15

May your life be as pleasant as you are.

384 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Oct 01 '15

May you press A too hastily and be forced to speak with the nurse at the Pokemon Center all over again.

360 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 25 '15

May you not be able to gain an erection without thinking about Peter Dinklage

327 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 30 '15

May you never remember these curses when you try to.

310 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 15 '15

May your mother call you during every orgasm.

289 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Sep 04 '18

May your fitted sheet be put on wrong and when you turn it ninety degrees, it still be wrong.

281 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Jan 20 '17

May the audio be slightly off sync from the video you are trying to watch.

269 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 26 '15

May you always choose the slowest queue.

260 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Nov 06 '15

May your asshole grow tastebuds.

247 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Jan 23 '16

May you see your typo only after yuo hit send

246 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 25 '15

May every NSFW link you click turn out to be NSFL NSFW

246 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Sep 10 '15

May your subtitles never sync right

244 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 26 '15

May you always hit Caps Lock instead of the 'a' key.

238 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Aug 31 '15

May your children be just like you.

223 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Oct 22 '15

May the page always load right as you hit the back button.

213 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Jun 14 '20

May you never be able to immediately tell whether your drying clothes are slightly damp or just cold.

209 Upvotes

r/TraditionalCurses • • Oct 05 '20

May your inbox always read (1) even though you've read all the messages.

206 Upvotes