Do you constantly wonder if your ex (kids absent parent) is dead? How do you deal with that?

I constantly look up their name to search for obituaries or death notices or anything… it’s hard to fathom someone just choosing to abandon their children.

It’s been almost a year since the last phone call. Over a year since the kids have seen their dad in person. No known address. His family blocked me, my family, and everyone associated with me or my family on every social media. No clue where he is.

I constantly wonder if he died like how can someone do this to their kids ?

Hello

So I’m in the navy have 80/20 custody of my kinder age kid. The navy has recently given me the opportunity to go to paramedic school for free however it’s in NC and we live in CA. It’s 6 months long. I asked my parents if they’d be able to support (they live 2 hours away where dad lives) and it turned into an argument. My Dad is saying get out of the navy and become a cop or sheriff instead mom is saying don’t become a nurse because those 13 hour shifts is too long to be away from a kid and be a teacher or something so I’m on my kids schedule

I really want to pursue my dream of being in medicine. I haven’t talked to kids dad yet about the possibility of leaving for 6 months to do the school. I really don’t want to end up miserable like my mom. She set herself aside her whole life losing her own identity and it felt like she took her regret from decisions she made or didn’t get to make out on us. Me especially since I didn’t follow her idea of date the same person all through high school marry that person have kids and that’s it you only live for your kids you put yourself on the back burner.

I guess I’m just looking for advice or something to feel better about making a decision. Mom told me I’m abandoning my kid and that her dad can take her away from me for abandoning her. Which I know isn’t true. Mom’s a CPS worker which makes what she says sting a little harder as well.

I am curious... if you started talking to someone then progressed to going on several dates, how much energy would you be putting into them if you like them?

I ask because I get very little time to myself and when I do, I want it to myself to rest and recover. I want to do things for me whether its a mindful class, a walk or a quiet lunch or even meeting a very close friend for an hour. Giving someone else, even someone I connect with, this time which is literally 4 hours per week feels draining. I have tried giving them just two hours for a date, but they always want or try to push the 4 hours, which i understand, but then I dont get to recharge my batteries.

Am I not ready for dating?

Am i just overwhelmed being a single parent?

Am i just craving peace?

Maybe this is my bodys way of saying 'misaligned connection'?

Maybe I am just at the point where I am happier myself?

I recently split with my kids dad in August. There was a substantial substance abuse issue that I found and he couldn’t be trusted to take care of our 4 kids (the oldest isn’t mine but lived with us full time by choice). He also never worked due to military injuries. Our kids together are 6,8, and 11. Our 11 yr old is significantly disabled and cognitively a toddler who needs 24/7 supervision and care.

We broke up August 1st when I gave him a 2 month notice id be leaving with kids Oct 1st. On August 19th he chose to go to rehab and decided that must mean I’d just let him come back. I stuck my decision and in October he decided to tell everyone I kicked him out while he was in the hospital.

He was given 6 months of free rent/utilities and furniture through a program and moved into housing November 4th.

Our 6 and 8 yr old spent the night Friday for the first time (so 3 months since he’s been with us). I went to pick them up at 5 yesterday and my 6 yr old was outside in the dark with no supervision shooting a BB gun his dad bought him at a cardboard in close range.

At this point he’s bought them: 3 new tablets, a drone, Legos, a BB gun, 3 board games, and a bop it. He has not given me a dime for school, groceries, his phone payment, his car insurance, his son’s driving lessons, school lunches, etc etc.

I’m worried court would mean I’d be forced to send them there every other weekend minimum and right now he doesn’t have a space for our 11 yr old at all. No bed. No bedroom.

Any advice welcome as I navigate this. My kids love their dad but they’re so blind to his issues.

Adding that while I cleaned out our old house I found paperwork that shows he never actually went to Iraq or sustained any injuries in the military and he’s just a liar. So I’m bitter af and trying not to be bias because of that buuuutttt….. 😮‍💨 I’m warranted to be cautious right?!?

my coparent almost never acknowledges any update

For some background, my child’s father lives 6hrs away, he sees our child one weekend every 4-6 weeks and video calls one time every other week. He can definitely call and see her more often but that’s what he makes time for.

Basically our child has had some complications in medical history requiring multiple specialists and she is due to have a second round of a routine surgery. Most of the updates I send him are about dr appointments (90%), maybe some updates about how she’s doing in school and photos (remaining 10%). He never responds to anything. He doesn’t ask any questions, he doesn’t acknowledge anything. He only logs into the app maybe once a week. At a certain point it’s like I’m talking to a wall and I don’t even know why I give him updates other than our court order requires it. I don’t expect each update to receive a huge emotional response but as a parent I think there should be at least some communication especially with the medical history.

Not sure how to handle this or if there’s anything I can even do.

I'm 37 single mom I work from home.

I don't really have any friends, and my family lives in another country. During the holiday season, I usually spend most of my time alone

My son spends the holidays with his dad, so while everyone else seems to be celebrating with family and friends, I'm usually just at home by myself.

I know I'm probably not the only person in this situation, but sometimes it gets incredibly lonely. There are moments when I feel so miserable and left out, especially around the holidays.

I was wondering if there are others here in a similar situation. Do you also spend the holidays alone? How do you deal with the loneliness?

I’m a 32f and have 3 kids 12f,10f,7m and I’ve attempted to go back to school multiple times. I would only have about a semester left to get my associates in business management but I recently attempted to do an LPN program but dropped after 2 months just so to the demand and lack of funds/help.

I truly don’t know what to do with my life. I need to make at least 60-70k. Year. I work at Amazon now and could move up but feel Like it could take years. What do you all do for work? Do you like it?

(39M) I do a lot with my little guy (5) things I enjoy too, camping, hiking, biking, snowboarding, some concerts and just general adventures. But I feel like I'm losing myself, when he's not here I'm pretty unmotivated and just catch up on laundry, dishes, home maintenance, that kid of stuff. Don't have many friends and no time to properly dedicate to a girlfriend to do other hobbies with since I'm so busy working and parenting.

Anyway I guess I'm looking for something to do in the evenings once the day has wound down especially since it's getting dark super early, cold and rainy. Too much TV and getting in my head. What do you all get up to?

Hi everyone! I’m 23 and a single mom to a 4 year old daughter. I’ve been the only actively involved parent since the beginning.

I’d love advice on how other parents manage their patience, especially during tantrums, meltdowns, constant demands for attention, and those moments when you feel overstimulated or close to losing your patience. How do you stay calm and avoid getting overwhelmed when you’re handling everything on your own?

I’d also like to hear your experiences with dating as a single parent. I’m not actively looking, but I’ve noticed some people view single moms negatively, assuming we’re looking for someone to replace our child’s father. That’s not what I’m looking for. My daughter has a father. I’d simply like someone to see me as more than just a mom.

I’d appreciate any honest advice, experiences, or perspectives. :)💗

Hi friends!! just ranting a little. Lol

Im a single momma, although my circumstances are unique. I adopted both my children in my early 20s by myself, I opened up a little business at 16 that took off massively, so I was lucky to be a little ahead of life compared to my peers. I wanted a family but didnt quite have the urge for a relationship at the time hence why I adopted both my wonderful children. I always wanted a family young.

I am now in my late 20s, I have an incredible business, live comfortably and love life. I travel 4-5 x a year with the kids. I truly have never been happier. I gym 5 x a week, I have a great body, work fairly minimal hours, have lots of hobbies I would say I am attractive. I truly feel so grateful and happy to get to live the life I do!

recently I gave online dating ago more so out of curiosity ….safe to say it has now been deleted😂😬
my swipes were from mostly men far too old for my liking, I matched with 3 men I felt I was compatible with as they had children too…..both lived with their parents. Some men morbidly obese, I am very active so it would make us immediately incompatible. I have been approached by men irl but often times by younger men who want children. I am not interested in birthing a child. Im very content with two. I’ll happily date a man with existing children.

Is dating REALLY that hard as a solo mum?? I had no idea it was this bad. I’ve heard it all from peers and friends about how terrible online dating is but you have to experience it to appreciate it lol

I just want an active father, active in the gym and someone who is financially secure and stable, same as I, I didnt think that was a lot to ask for lol

I had drinks with a friend on a night that my kids were with their dad. She had too much to drink. After talking about my thoughts and feelings about dating again, prioritizing my kids, walking away from the first mild red flag, she told me I am “damaged goods” because I don’t want to deal with any bullshit after everything I went through with my ex. Cheers!

I’m going to bother someone with this post, but I 27f have been talking to this guy 30m. We’ve been on one date and have done most of our talking via FaceTime/call. Pretty consistently for the past two months. We have a second date set up Sunday night after my family dinner… except I just found out he has kids. Small kids with his ex, like the oldest is 5 and the youngest is 2yrs old so not much older than my daughter who just turned one.

It’s not like the topic never came up. He knows about my daughter, but I also mentioned I wasn’t looking to date someone who also has kids. I’m one and done. Having more or even getting more because I’m dating someone who also has kids just stresses me out. One kid is perfect for me! So maybe he withheld info because he knew I’d turn him down, which I know that’s probably a hard thing for him as he clearly likes me. He seems great, but he didn’t even give me a chance to think on it. I’m a strong believer that withholding info is being dishonest and a huge invitation of trust. Am I being unreasonable? Or unfair?

I just don’t know if I like him enough to let this slide. Even if I did like him a lot and consider a future with him… I still can’t get passed the fact he was dishonest. I probably could’ve been nicer, but this really rubs me the wrong way

I’m a solo parent to a 6 year old. We don’t really have a lot of family, and none around us. One of my biggest fears is something is going to happen to me, and she’s going to be here freaked out on her own. I’ve explained over and over how to call 911 on my phone and she simply can’t remember the steps to unlock or get to the emergency page. I’ve taught her how to unlock the front door and told her she can go to a neighbor if something happens, but we don’t know them very well, and I am afraid she won’t go.

Anyway, all that to ask - do any of you have a house phone or something like a TinCan phone? Or is there another option I’m not thinking of?

I need some hive mind on figuring out how to help my daughter navigate this stage with her father.

Context: I got married very young and lasted 10y married to my ex-husband, we had 2 kids and separated Dec of 2021. My ex is a diagnosed narcissist, who was / is emotionally, financially and verbally abusive towards me and our kids, he was also a serial cheater. Kids are now 14 and 9.

He moved from the apartment that we shared together to another woman and her kid’s, woman is 10 years older than me and her kids are all young adults now.

My daughter has expressed distress at going to his place for a few years now but I kept forcing her to go because is what it says in our court order and I have no choice, my son has started to say he doesn’t want to go to his house on his days either. They are there 2 afternoons / evenings a week and 1 overnight every other weekend. My ex has never been an involved parent and he won’t be able to tell you the name of our daughter’s school nor which grade our son is at.

Now that she’s 14 things have gotten a little bit worse as she has been distancing herself little by little and he has started harassing her through message and when she’s there, asking her what’s her problem and why is she so dry and distant with him, and that he doesn’t deserve this as he’s not a bad father and he has sacrificed so much for her, that she needs to be a better daughter and more respectful with him, etc etc etc, all “conversations” are always a yelling monologue about him and he never lets her talk.

She doesn’t want to stop going because our son won’t be able to just choose not to go and when she’s there she can protect him from the yelling and cook for him, she’s worried about what would happen to him if she’s not there.

She’s sick today and stayed home from school, he just sent her a message berating her because she’s not the “sweet little daughter” she used to be. She doesn’t know how to respond, I told her I’d respond and she asked me not to as that would be worse for her. She’s been in therapy for a long time and I’m lost on how to navigate this stage with her.

I’m so sorry is so long and thank you if you made it through!

I’m looking for some outside perspective and advice on how to get out of my situation. I’m a mom to a 14-month-old baby boy, and the last two years have been nonstop survival mode.

​My baby’s dad took a contract job in South Carolina, a week before he left I took a pregnancy test and it was postitive.I was living in Chicago at the time. I flew out to visit him in SC, and during that trip, he broke up with me when I was 4 months pregnant. I went back to Chicago completely overwhelmed. Being a single mom was one of my biggest fears, and I seriously debated whether I could go through with the pregnancy on my own.

​Eventually, he told me he wanted to help. He suggested I move to South Carolina so he could be close to our baby, promising to support me while I went back to school. He pointed out that the cost of living was much cheaper there and said it would be a better fit for us.

​At first, I hesitated, because moving meant leaving everything I knew. But my situation in Chicago was falling apart. I was living with my dad, who is an alcoholic, and it was a toxic, unsafe environment. At the same time, my friends disapproved of my situation and didn't like that I was still trying to include my ex in the baby's life, so they distanced themselves from me. I felt completely isolated.

​After my son was born, things with my dad escalated—he became aggressive and violent, and I was scared for our safety. I left immediately and moved in with my ex’s parents in Chicago while my ex was still in SC. Living with them was a nightmare. His mom constantly criticized everything I did with my newborn. The stress got so bad that my birth sutures popped open, my milk dried up, and my baby started losing weight (thankfully, one of my ex’s friends donated breast milk to help us through it).

​I hit a breaking point and told my ex I couldn't live with his mom anymore, so I finally moved to South Carolina with the baby.

​At first, coming here was a huge relief. The original agreement was a 3-to-4-year plan so I could go to school. However, shortly after I got here, he suddenly told me he had applied to a school back in Illinois and that we’d have to move back in August. Because of that, he wanted me to just get a temporary job for six months—even though we don't know anyone here, my CNA license transfer to SC got rejected, and I don't trust the people he hangs around with to watch my baby. When I suggested daycare, he shot it down.

​Around December, things seemed to be improving between us, and I thought we might be getting back together. I finally opened up to him about my feelings, and instead of working through it, he got upset that it had taken me so long to trust him and abruptly ended things again. I’m fine if he doesn't want to be with me—what hurts is that he keeps pulling the rug out from under me at my most vulnerable moments, first when I was pregnant, and now when I have a baby and can't just pack up a car and leave overnight.

​After that, we started couples therapy, which I thought was to fix things, though he completely avoided talking about our relationship. He grew distant, left me alone with the baby all day, and complained about not getting enough time with our son while simultaneously picking up extra shifts.

​Meanwhile, he kept jerking me around about moving back to Illinois. He didn't get into his school, so I applied to a local school in SC just for one semester so we could still plan to go back. After going back and forth endlessly, he suddenly decided he wanted to stay in SC permanently.

​The problem is that I just got accepted into a nursing program back in Illinois. When I told him, he flat-out told me: "If you go, you have to go alone. I’ll stay with the baby." He acts like because he is comfortable being away from our son for long stretches, I should be too. I refuse to leave my baby.

​Over the last couple of months, he’s become more aggressive toward me. He took a second job in North Carolina, so he’s gone half the week, and when he is home, we argue over tiny things. Last week he went to New Jersey and wanted to take our son with him. I’m still breastfeeding and didn't want my supply to dry up while he was gone for so long, so I said no. He actually told me that my breastfeeding is "a problem" and prevents him from bonding with the baby. He has also already started seeing someone new—claiming he doesn't have enough time for his infant son, yet somehow having time to date. I don't want this new person near my baby when our situation is already this unstable.

​Now, he is making it impossible for me to work or save money to leave:

​Blocking childcare: I found a job that starts at 7:00 AM and researched licensed daycares 10–15 minutes away that open at 6:30 AM. He refuses all of them, making excuses (like saying they are Christian daycares, even though our son is 14 months old and won't be affected by religion). Instead, he insists on a babysitter that would cost three-quarters of my paycheck—and says I have to pay for it—or a daycare recommended by his friend that is 45 minutes in the opposite direction, making it impossible to get to work on time.

​Financial pressure: I haven't worked in over a year and have burned through my savings. My bank account is currently in the negative. I have never asked him to pay for my car insurance, phone, credit cards, personal expenses, or even my hospital bills from giving birth—yet he constantly throws paying rent in my face. When I recently started asking for basic grocery and gas money, he gave me a hard time every single time. Instead of helping, he tells me to put everything on my credit cards and go into debt.

​I am exhausted and feel completely trapped in a state where I know no one. Back in Illinois, I finally opened up to my stepmom, my sister, and my friends about what is happening, and they are all ready to support me and help with the baby if I can just get back there.

​I cannot live with this man anymore, and I want to go to nursing school and rebuild my life with my son. How do I safely and legally get out of this state with my baby when I have negative money in my account and he is blocking every move I make?

I've got 4 kids, 8, 7, 4 and 1, obviously a single parent hence this sub.

We had a really really horrible year last year and the entire Halloween and Christmas festivities were ruined by some pretty bad domestic abuse following the birth of my youngest.

Anyway, this year marks a year free of that, but also I just really want to make some lovely Christmas traditions and make November and December filled with fun, wholesome things with my kids and put more emphasis on just having a great time and spending time together.

We do the usual festive movies, hot chocolate, decorating, etc. But I want some other things we can do, preferably low cost, both at home and out and about that will help make this year a memorable one.

We'll be doing plenty of festive baking, and Christmas crafts like paper chains and trying those orange garlands (if I can figure out how not to burn them lol)

What are some fun traditions you do that are good for varied ages?

I'm 53, going through a divorce after nearly 20 years of marriage, and raising four boys, ages 10–17, who live with me.

Between work, finances, school, football, baseball, basketball, groceries, laundry, transportation, maintaining a house, dinner, breakfast and trying to remember which kid needs to be where, sometimes I don’t know what end is up. I wake up at 5:15 and can usually turn off Dad-mode around 9:00pm.

Their mom is barely involved and the day-to-day responsibilities, planning, and follow-through largely fall on me.

Here's the part I struggle with: I don't mind being a dad. I love being a dad. What wears me down is the sheer overwhelming feelings of being alone in this.

I miss adult conversation. I miss having someone to share ordinary life with. I miss having a partner to ask their thoughts and opinions. I miss collaboration. I miss someone to share memories with.

And occasionally, I'd love to have a Saturday where my biggest responsibility is deciding what football game to watch and then what to put on the grill.

I’m not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. This world would be dark, cold and bleak at best if things had worked out where I did not have my kids. I guess I’m just looking for a “I see you. You got this”. 😌

Let me begin by saying I’m completely broken as a person. And apparently an idiot.

I, 34F, have a 9 year old and have been a single mother (co-parenting) before. Her dad and I have been divorced 6 years.

I met a man in 2025, 47M, who I thought was getting a divorce, started planning a life with him and his kids, lived together for a year, and had a baby with him 9/2026.

Long story short, he left when our son was 3 weeks old and went back to his wife.

Now he wants to start planned visitation after his paternity leave is up. (In 1 more month. He got 12 weeks. Our son is 8 weeks now).

I do not want my son at their house, around what I know (from many many stories/experiences) is chaos. There was yelling/screaming, punching walls and other objects, a daughters was involved and got shoved once, and one of the children’s other mothers is involved in drugs.

Right now dad is welcome anytime to visit at my home, he does come at least once per week. But he doesn’t call/text/visit if the wife is around. So once he goes back to work…..

We weren’t married so I know I don’t have to do anything legally without a court order (because of the state I’m in). I just REALLY want to avoid a high conflict situation.

Advice?

To all the divorced single mothers here, I genuinely want to hear about your experiences.

Looking back, do you ever regret your decision to divorce your husband or partner? Do you sometimes wonder whether things could have worked out if you had stayed and tried harder, or are you at peace with the decision you made?

Even if life has become more challenging after the divorce, do you still feel that leaving was the right choice?

I'm not asking to judge anyone's decisions. I'm genuinely curious about how you feel years later, especially when navigating motherhood and life as a single parent.

I’m starting to feel like people will never understand my situation or my reality as a single mom. I don’t date because of it, don’t talk to most of my family (outside of my mom) because of it and now I have even started distancing myself from friends who have been around for 20+ years.

It’s just almost exhausting at this point to try and explain to them why I never have time to do things with them because I’m constantly working or making sure the kids make it to their activities or why I can hardly ever afford to participate in anything even tho I am constantly working.

I’m to the point where I don’t even want to form relationships because it just ends up being me having to explain myself constantly and I don’t like feeling like I’m pessimist or bringing the vibes down because of my less than ideal situation🫠

Nothing like waking up on a payday & checking my bank account and seeing THOUSANDS stolen from my bank account.

Who tf would do this close to Christmas??

How did they get my bank info?

Why tf didn’t Bank of America do something about it? In my 12 yrs of having a bank acct I have NEVER spent money in NY

How do I fix this and get my money back?

[M-29] Got 3 kids oldest 5 youngest 2 and my ex wife cheated on me and I love my kids so much there my world but Jesus Christ...

Any of yall be trying to clean around the kids while 2 of them are fighting and 1 of them is teasing the other two and then they stop and start drawing and both want you to look at what there drawing then they fight over your attention and start fighting again just when you think you got them calm because all 3 want me to look and its like 😵‍💫 All 3 of yall are standing infront of me and yet all 3 want me to look ONLY AT YOUR picture and not the other two 😂 my god... then they fight because Hes Looking at yours! Daddy look at mine then I look over then the other jumps infront and says No Me! Then everyone starts fighting again...

and its like 😡😡😭 like this place is a fuckin wreck and I cant even clean and there wanting attention and they want to fight and I dont have any help at all! Just have to take moments to hide in the bathroom for a minute, cant even do that or they would be out the front door or throwing shit at each other 😭

And you think about your ex who fucking cheated and they act like they have it easy ? BITCH of course you have it easy YOU GOT HELP! Fuckin cheat on my ass and leave me with our 3 kids and then say its not hard. Thats rage bait and completely inconsiderate and reduces Chasing 3 Toddlers around as a single parent down to playing checkers.

I love my kids but goddamn... I fucking hate my ex. Any time she ever asks for help ill tell her to go straight to hell. Go Ask the AP. Dont ask me! Dont ask my family. ASK AP Family and fuck off.

😡😭

(To start off I know this isn’t all men).

I was awarded child support in the amount of $264 in 2018. At that time we were both young and he was jobless so it was set as the default. It’s been over 8 years. Anytime I applied for an increase he would threaten me with filing for full custody so I would drop it (stupid me). Over the years I’ve asked for extra which I would get sometimes but more often than not he wouldn’t and it became a point it felt like begging. He then started to become a bit more active after getting married and joining the military so I left it alone. Then he stopped getting her. Well now my daughter is older she wanted to join cheer this year. Cheer is expensive and over the summer I asked for an additional $150 to help pay for her uniforms, practice wear. His response? “You get child support don’t you? Use that.” Mind you I was using the child support for her cheer tuition and it only covered half anyways.

Well I was fed up and filed for a modification. Modification came back that his $264 would be increasing to $832. With an additional $210 a month for arrears and $160 for medical. So $1,202. So his ego and bitterness got him a $1200 payment instead of just paying the additional $150 that I asked for.

I’ve never seen this kind of behaviour. Every week, he comes unannounced with different people for my evaluation.
This started when he made me crash out and tell him that I wish I arboted the pregnancy. He triggered me into saying that when he made me suffer alone during pregnancy and I watched him marry someone else and still trying to drag me through custody battles with a newborn
- When I’m at work, he sends social workers to evaluate my nannies ,
- When he doesn’t find me at home and finds my child with my nanny he takes evidence and accuses me of giving the child to strangers
- When I’m just chilling at home with the child , he comes with family advocates to question about the child’s clinic visits
- He sends messages everyday saying we must give him a list of things that he should buy for the child, when we keep quiet because we believe that he must support financially, he takes evidence and take me to court
- He takes me to court I have to explain to the judge why didn’t I answer him
- He sends social workers to come and evaluate me
-He files for full custody just because I didn’t write him the list of things he wanted to buy for the child, and just because I once told him that I wish I had an arbotion
- When I try to open a protection order they say I’m bitter and I must go operate
_He asks questions about the child’s pre school, if we don’t reply he screenshots and takes me to court.
-Out of all these things that are happening, the world calls me bitter for saying I want him to stay out of my life and focus on the child.
-The world calls me bitter for saying he must stop texting me and only text me when he wants to see the child
- The world says I’m bitter when I say I’m tired of his lawyers always coming to evaluate me like I’m a murderer
-I’m tired of psychologists coming here to assess me like I’ve done something wrong, just because I said I wish I arboted , now he used that against me .
-I’m tired of always feeling like not replying to messages is a crime, especially when my main focus is his visitation schedule, I don’t want to communicate anything with him , communicating with him leads to another question and question about the child and I get exhausted but still I can’t ignore because they’ll say I’m not acting in the child’s best interest.
- He wants my 1 year old to be raised by his girlfriend
- He doesn’t think that the person he cheated on me with might harm and mistreat my child

People say I should give him custody so he can leave me alone. I love my child, I won’t survive without my child. Imagine going out to shopping and all you see is young babies with their mothers and it reminds you of your own child, the one you gave away. Imagine giving birth, loving the mini me only for the father who has been cheating on me throughout pregnancy to come and snatch my child. I regret the person I had a child with. But overall I regret having a child. Because if I didn’t have a child , I wouldn’t be a single mother. If I didn’t have a child I wouldn’t be tied to someone whom is this abusive and always wants us to reply to him instead of following a court order.

I’m starting to date a bit, and am looking for some advice. My son just turned 1 a few weeks ago. My two main issues are I can’t really do evening dates the latest I can stay out is 7pmish, so how do I make day time dates feel more romantic? And since my son is 1 if he were to meet someone then never see them again it wouldn’t be a big deal for him, and I do want to see how my partner would interact with them, but I’m not looking for a dad for my son, he has a dad, even though he lives 1500 miles away