im a single dad, done nothing wrong just my relationship faded over the years. but when aomeone finds out they auto think i done aomething wrong.....whays with that

So im just writing to get this off my chest, what is it that makes a single parent?

So when a family splits it really sucks, but its all to common for ex's to jump right in to a new relationship and move in with a new partner.

Hot take here if your family split, your now living with a new partner tou are not a freaking single parent!

My girlfriend gives at least 5 orders a day that her kid completely ignores (it grinds my fn gears) THEN this kid jumps up and says can you take me to the mall and she's like ok let's go. I'm at the point where I give up on saying anything about it or pointing it out because she turns that into an argument. I love my girlfriend, I just want her to have a enough self respect that if she opens her mouth to say something that her kid at a minimum respects what she says. Like if the kid doesn't have to listen to what you're saying what's the point of even saying anything, it literally sends me through the roof

No I'm not a prude. I'm a normal guy when it comes to sex.

But I feel, with so many kids watching youtube... there are these interviews with porn stars... or they'll have a cameo in some other random youtuber's video... then naturally if you don't know who that person is you're gonna look them up and then bam... you get these kids who are say 7-12 yrs old, who are way too young to be looking up porn stars and stumbling upon the pornographic images.

I don't even understand how anyone finds this ok.

Again I'm just a normal guy. I get that everyone's gonna be introduced to porn at some point. But YT has a lot of young viewers who are too young to be exposed to porn. These interviews and cameo's are a gateway to porn because it's just a google search away.

8yr old kid “oversleeping” in my ex and I’s bed was a big issue while we were still together and has seemingly only gotten worse since separation. To my knowledge, kid has not slept in their own bed even once since I left nearly 8 months ago. They sleep in own bed at my place nearly every night unless sick or have a nightmare, but lately have been asking to sleep in my bed more frequently.

Think ex has weird attachment issues, but at same time realize kids are only “young” for a short time and this likely won’t continue forever (hopefully).

Appreciate any thoughts or advice.

Update: Appreciate everyone’s comments. To clarify, don’t think it is/was the child’s desire to sleep in my ex’s bed originally but instead was led by my ex’s desire to not slee alone in THEIR own bed. I’ve started to notice it becoming a bigger and bigger issue pre bedtime at my own house with my child requesting to sleep in my bed more often. Which is the reason for making the post today.

I am a single parent, my boyfriend too. He sees his daughter every week Monday-wednesday plus anytime the daughters mother says. Monday is his only day off during the week. I have a hard time that we never have a day off kid free together. I just had a miscarriage (d&c) surgery and need to have time away from children as I'm very emotional and want him to take his Monday off to be with me as I am craving to be close to him right now. He says I'm being controlling and I don't want him to see his daughter. I just need adult time to heal and I'm not trying to be selfish but I'm dealing with my hormones changing after the miscarriage. His daughter is exhausting she said 4 and causes a big mess in the house that I am responsible for cleaning. I get overwhelmed. I just need a break and to be close to him during this time.

I'm not divorced myself and hopefully won't be, but I often feel that I'm a single parent of 3 and it's painful.

I love my kids beyond measure and I'm so glad they're so close all of the time, but mainly I miss my wife so much. She's struggling deeply with (mental) health issues and I'm doing so much to support her recovery, but it's kind of breaking me. I've mostly moved my kids and myself in with my parents and left my house mostly occupied by my wife. She's autistic and struggles deeply with the intensity of our 3 kids. She depends entirely on me to manage their needs and implement her vision of what the kids need from their parents.

On occasion my wife manages to participate in family activities and the kids and I love it. I take my kids for sleepovers at our house ~2 nights/week. But my wife generally avoids us, sleeps most of the day, goes out for fun most nights so as to preclude much post-kids bedtime socialization with me (we do get the odd date or intimate moment). But I feel like the harder I bend over backwards to support whatever she feels she needs to recover, I just lose her that much more. I'm mad at myself because I feel abused, taken-advantage of, disrespected and not wanted or appreciated. And yet, I really do love and adore my wife. I want her back as a great friend, as a romantic partner, as a life-co-builder. We're both in our mid 40's. I'm willing to endure a fair bit more, but how likely am I fooling myself? Do parents go through these ruts and get out of them? I particularly want to know the stories about similar situations that resolved in to a fully reintegrated family with both parents engaged and happy.

I am a 48-year-old married man, and my wife makes me live a hell, because of her I lost my job, I got sick, I spend my time looking for work and I prefer to stay outside rather than at home, I go out in the morning at 08:00 and come home late at night around 22:00, I need to talk to a woman who can understand me, I do not try to commit adultery, just talk without a headache, by messaging or out loud, thank you for your understanding

I'm 39 from SoCal OC. Cost of living here is nuts, theres been a heat wave for like 2 months and even my electric bill is insane. I'm feeling like society needs to embrace families more, like being a couple thats a team feels necessary. But it seriously feels like women don't want to be a team. I think I need to move out of SoCal, but all my income is here!

So I had a one night stand on Monday and it was fun but pretty rough. I ended up with bite marks and bruises on my neck and chest. Looks really bad. I’m just worried because I have my daughter tonight and I don’t want her to see her mom like this. I know she’s just 2 but it still makes me feel icky. I’ve been putting ice on it on and off throughout the day since Tuesday morning but you can still see it.

Also want to add that I didn’t not plan on having a one night stand. I met the guy and it just happened. I also didn’t realize how bad it was until I looked in the mirror afterwards.

Any advice on getting rid of it within a few hours or navigating them around my daughter. I feel horrible!

Stay at home single parents only please. How do you all make money on the side at home staying at home with your babies? I am very lucky to be able to do this I am on a disability pension and a single mum. So just wondering how all single parents at home get side income.

Yesterday my daughter and I had a major blow up. She told me I was slut shaming her because I didnt agree with her choice of clothes. A little backstory. Im a single widow parent to a 20 y/o daughter 17 and 16 y/o boys. My wife and oldest daughter passed in a car accident 7 years ago. As my daughter older her clothes started more and more provocative I guess I would say. Well last night she told me that I called her a slut. I said I have never called you that. She said you are slut shaming whenever you talk about my clothes. I told her as a father I can disagree with your choice of outfits as I see fit. Just like its your choice to pick what you wear its my choice to agree or disagree. I was really hurt that my child would think I would call her a slut or think she is when I simply dont agree with her choice of clothes. She didnt googled slut shaming and sent it to me. Mainly females please explain to me what in the world is going on her. Thank in advance.

I’m going to bother someone with this post, but I 27f have been talking to this guy 30m. We’ve been on one date and have done most of our talking via FaceTime/call. Pretty consistently for the past two months. We have a second date set up Sunday night after my family dinner… except I just found out he has kids. Small kids with his ex, like the oldest is 5 and the youngest is 2yrs old so not much older than my daughter who just turned one.

It’s not like the topic never came up. He knows about my daughter, but I also mentioned I wasn’t looking to date someone who also has kids. I’m one and done. Having more or even getting more because I’m dating someone who also has kids just stresses me out. One kid is perfect for me! So maybe he withheld info because he knew I’d turn him down, which I know that’s probably a hard thing for him as he clearly likes me. He seems great, but he didn’t even give me a chance to think on it. I’m a strong believer that withholding info is being dishonest and a huge invitation of trust. Am I being unreasonable? Or unfair?

I just don’t know if I like him enough to let this slide. Even if I did like him a lot and consider a future with him… I still can’t get passed the fact he was dishonest. I probably could’ve been nicer, but this really rubs me the wrong way

Hi, just looking for some advice here.

My daughters dad and I are in the process of filing a parenting agreement to the courts. We’re in a state that generally requires child support. He will be a non-custodial parent, and according to the calculators, will owe me upwards of $300/monthly.

I make just enough to get by with my 2 kiddos (currently not working due to taking time between jobs to spend with baby and have savings, though). He will lose his apartment if he has to pay this much. He barely scrapes by with his other 3 kids.

Can I give his child support payment back to him? Anyone have experience doing this?

ETA: We live in a very high COL area and he already has low-income housing that is still ridiculously priced. He is starting back to school this month and has 50/50 of his other 3 kids, so not much time to work another job. He gets no government help with the kids, due to the other kids mom claiming them on literally every government program (I was a caseworker and this is legit). He would legitimately be made homeless by having to pay this - which is not beneficial for our daughter.

ETA2: I appreciate everyone’s advice. I’m really shocked though by the amount of people on this sub who don’t seem to have any sympathy for struggling single parents. Yes, he shouldn’t have had 4 kids he can’t support. Yes, I know the money would help mine and the baby’s life tremendously. But He makes $15/hr at a job that works with his other custody schedule AND his new school schedule. His rent is $1,100/month plus all utilities (I know, I helped him find his place. There’s nowhere cheaper around us). He has a car and insurance payment. Has to buy food for his kids and pay for some daycare. I think a lot of us single parents should be able to relate to scraping by with our last dollar. I know I’ve had times that $300 would make me homeless. He’s not a great guy, by any means, but it doesn’t benefit my daughter to have a homeless father with no safe place for her to visit him. He has hardly any family in this state to help, and the one sibling he does is a drug addict. Not good for my daughter to be around. I can provide a decent life without $300/month on my side. I don’t see why that should mean she shouldn’t have any home with her father. :/

So I’m from the U.K., and Mothers Day this year was the 19th March. I didn’t make a giant effort but I still made sure I got a card and a little something from my girl to give to her mum.

But her mum is so selfish about these types of things. She hasn’t even wished me a Happy Fathers Day, no card or anything of the such?

Am I being petty or does anyone else genuinely find this saddening as being a father is my life and it seems all she ever tries to do is shut me out?

Would you bother saying anything to the mother or would you just leave it and play her at her own game?

So I met a guy, Ezra, in college about two years ago. We started dating, and quickly became really close. His family moved from Alaska to the south, where I grew up. I am a couple years older than him. He has always paid for everything himself, has a great job, is a full time student with loans, even though his parents are incredibly wealthy. After we were dating for a while, we met each other's parents. Mine were very accepting of him, and welcoming, southern hospitality I suppose. We saw them often. Ezra's parents, however, were very quiet and even by our sixth month, I had only seen them twice. His mom was in a social group of women who gossiped in town. A long time ago I had dated one of the gossip mom's sons and she spoke really bad about me, because I broke up with him. Immediately Ezra's mom didn't like me, and would text him ugly messages about me. She would always tell him that he shouldn't be serious with me at all, and that I wasn't good enough for him. She would tell him that I obviously wasn't stable and that because I had never lived anywhere else, I wasn't ambitious enough. He would argue with his mom, and tell her that she was wrong, and it quickly caused their relationship to weaken. One night, about seven months in, his mom asked him to dinner. Ezra begged for me and his roommate, Rob, to go with him. We all showed up at the restaurant and she was really angry. Understandably, because he didn't tell her that we were joining them. She started to talk with Ezra, but things got heated pretty quickly. She told him that he wasn't being a decent son or a good person, and I couldn't hold back. I told her that Ezra was a wonderful person and works really hard at everything he does. Rob spoke up and said that he thought Ezra was one of the smartest and most responsible people that he had ever met. His mom was so irritated that we were defending him, that she tossed her coke in our faces and stormed out of the restaurant. Ezra and his mom didn't speak for a few weeks after that. This only caused her to hate me more, and of course I was to blame for all of it. She continued to talk horribly about me to his friends, family members, etc. After a few months, Ezra's parents and little sister decided to move to Texas. The distance or the time helped Ezra to rekindle with his parents and caused his mom to lay off a little on the Amy-hating. Around this time, however, Ezra and I found out that I was pregnant. It was a rocky beginning. I was in and out of the hospital for all kinds of problems concerning our child, so we didn't tell anyone right of the bat in case it didn't pan out. After about four months, Ezra and I decided to tell my parents. We told my mom first, and she couldn't contain her excitement. My dad was mostly surprised, but he was excited as well. My family and I continued to ask Ezra when he wanted to tell his parents and when he thought he would be ready, but he never really gave us an answer. The weeks crept by really quickly, as finals and work and activities sped up. I was about eight months pregnant when I noticed that Ezra was starting to act differently. He had always been so happy about having our little girl. He built her a crib in our room, he read books and forums about parenting, he would make to do lists on how to be a good father to her, movies they'd watch, the list goes on. But one day, we just had a regular couple argument, I don't even remember what over, but he got incredibly aggressive. A mutual friend of ours was in another room and heard the whole thing. Ezra was yelling, threatening the baby, saying he would hurt himself, and he locked himself in the bathroom. Needless to say, I was terrified and acted out of fear. I told him if he didn't come out that I would call the police because I was worried he was going to hurt himself. He had never behaved this way before. I didn't call the police, but I backed away a little bit because I at least got him to unlock the door. Finally, he came out and apologized but it was terrifying. Within hours, he was back to his normal self, saying loving things to her and finding songs we'd listen to with her. The time kept creeping up on us and he still hadn't told his parents. Most of his friends knew, except for one - his best friend. He kept telling me that he was trying to find the right time to tell them, but he was running out of time. We went for our weekly check up two days after the argument, to see my gynecologist. She told me that my blood pressure was really high and that I needed to have the baby delivered the next morning, a week early. I had all of the bags packed and the apartment ready and the birth plan, but Ezra still hadn't told his family. The birth was planned to be induced the next morning around 6 am. He tried calling his parents but he couldn't reach them. It didn't seem like a very meaningful try. The next morning we got up and drove to the hospital. I drove us because, as silly as it is, I just wanted to be able to say that I drove myself to the hospital. I was in labor for 4 hours, and then after that, they told me that I had a heart shaped uterus. So I was going to have to have a c-section. Ezra and I walked through the hallway to the room for them to do the surgery. He watched the whole thing and held both of us close once Becca was born. Because of the c-section, we were in the hospital for a few days. That night that she was born, he called his mom to let her know we had just had a child. She was livid. I don't blame her, for how she found out, but she decided they were driving over once we were released from the hospital. Ezra stayed with me and Becca in the hospital until we were released. When we got home, we had so much fun just watching her and listening to her. After about a couple of days, his parents came to visit. His mom had originally asked him to drive just himself and Becca to their hotel, just the two of them. Ezra had to explain that Becca was breastfeeding and couldn't be away from me. So his mom gave in and came to our apartment to visit her. She was nice to me, but it definitely seemed unrealistic. His dad and his sister were much nicer than his mom. His mom had devised a 'plan' of how Ezra, Becca, and I would be moving to Texas to raise the child so that she could be near family. She invited me and my dad to dinner with his family to explain the 'plan'. I didn't really want to move right away after having a baby, but especially to move so close to his mom. A couple of days after that, Ezra started taking really long walks outside. He had always been an active person, so I didn't really think that much of it. I was a little distracted with Becca. One night when Ezra was out walking, I noticed some bright red blood splotches in Becca's diaper. I called the on-call night pediatrician and he told me that it was hormonal blood from the mother being passed through her. That made sense, but this amount and color of blood looked entirely different than any of the hormonal blood I had ever seen. So the next day, I took her into the pediatrician's office for another pediatrician to check her out. He decided it was an infection and that she needed to be sent to the infant hospital immediately about 40 minutes away from our apartment. We drove her there and my family met us there. As soon as we arrived, I filled out paperwork while he called his mom. He told me that she was coming up to check on Becca. That night his mom came to the hospital and took herself and Ezra to dinner, barely looking at Becca for more than a minute or two. They weren't back until midnight, and they brought me some food. I hardly heard from him while he was gone, and I could tell he was acting strange. The next day, his mom came to pick him up around 9 in the morning and they were again gone all day, into the evening. I knew he would want to visit with his mom, but he at least would normally talk to me some. I figured he would at least want to know how Becca was doing, but he maybe asked once or twice all day. He stayed the night again with Becca and I, but it was late when he got in. The day after that, there was still no more answers on Becca's infection, and Ezra and his mom left in the morning around the same time as the day before. Each day, they had worse and worse excuses for why they were gone so long and couldn't text or call at all. My best family friend, Drew, came by the hospital and spent the afternoon with me so that I wouldn't be alone with her, since most of my family had to work and could stop by sparingly. I never left the hospital room. Ezra came back, again late, and stayed the night. The next morning, he said that he and his mom had to go by the apartment and that they would be back at the hospital in a few hours. We thought Becca would be released that day because her results were an unidentified bacterial infection. So, again, I waited. I didn't hear from them while they were gone, until I messaged him first. I explained to him that a nurse came by wanting us to stay one more night to make sure that the antibiotic that Becca was on would work in her system properly and that we would be released the next day. Ezra texted me back, pissed at the hospital for keeping us so long, and I didn't understand why it made him angry when they were just doing what was best for Becca. After a couple of hours, I was starting to sense that something was really wrong and I got a text from him. He said that I was scheming with my dad, and I had no idea what he was talking about. Within the hour, he and his mom showed up in an obvious hurry. His mom stormed in and sat on the couch and said 'set it up, Ezra'. He looked at me and said that he and his mom were leaving to go back to Texas together. His mom, with a wicked smile, said that they had been packing his stuff all weekend and that Ezra was leaving me. Leaving us. At this point, Becca was only 12 days old. I asked his mom to leave the room so that I could talk to him for a moment. Somehow, I managed to keep myself pretty well composed to ask him why he was leaving us. He just kept saying it was what was best for Becca and that he wants to be a father to her but that he needed to leave. A social worker stopped by immediately to ask us some questions, and of course, Ezra had a whole speech planned out of what to say, and it sounded amazing. About how he wanted to be a great father to her and support her, but that he could only do that there. She just nodded. I couldn't really say much other than that I didn't want anyone to take her away from me. I was just in shock. He explained to the social worker how Becca and I were the two most important women in his life and that he would call everyday to check on her. He gave Becca and I a big hug and kiss and then he left with his mom as quickly as they came in. My dad and mom came running into the hospital room. Apparently, Ezra and his mom ran into them at the apartment because my dad had a bad feeling too and wanted to see what was going on since he knew they were stopping by there that morning. My dad told me that Ezra practically attacked him with rhetoric. Like that he was so angry that he was spitting. I couldn't believe he talked like that to my dad. My dad called Drew so that he could stay with me for a few hours, while he had to go to work. Eventually Drew had to leave, and I hadn't received a single text or phone call from Ezra. But already he had deleted me from Facebook, twitter, every kind of social media or connection and wrote that he was single. I cried myself to sleep that night watching Becca, realizing that she no longer had a father figure and I no longer had Ezra. It's been two weeks since that night, and Ezra has visited with us once. We had it at my dad's house, but of course my dad wasn't there. My aunt, who understood the situation, was with me when he and his dad visited. His mom was not with them. I receive about three texts from him every few days. Not a single phone call has been made from him. Ezra is supposed to come visit again in two days. I don't know what family member he will be traveling with, but he says he will let me know before hand. I guess I wish I just knew how to handle this situation. My heart is still incredibly broken by him, and he just acts like it doesn't phase him at all. I find letters all over the apartment that he wrote about being a good father and man to Becca and I, and it breaks my heart that this person that is visiting, isn't the same guy. He can't just decide to be a father when it is convenient for him, and when he feels like being responsible. I know I have to hold my ground and be firm in order to keep custody and take care of my sweet Becca, but everyday is hard when you think there will be two parents together who will love and cherish her every breath, and instead there's one.

"SORRY" WORKS WHEN A MISTAKE IS MADE, BUT NOT WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, SO IN LIFE MAKE MISTAKES BUT NEVER BREAK TRUST. BECAUSE FORGIVING IS EASY, BUT FORGETTING AND TRUSTING AGAIN IS SOMETIMES IMPOSSIBLE."

I'm looking for some people to interview or simply to answer some questions for me. I hope everyone's having a great day and pushing forward for the sake of their children. PS I'm a 17 going on my 18th year of never meeting my father.

Their dad’s out of the picture, so I have the kids (two, early elementary age) every night. So I’m stuck at home every night, which I’m usually fine with since I’m usually tired but content with this stage of life parenting wise. But this is going to make the next

Steps on a personal level difficult moving forward.

I’m not ready for or have the time for a true relationship, but I have the itch to rip the bandaid off after getting out of an almost decade long relationship. So no, I don’t plan on introducing anyone to the kids. This would solely be an after hours endeavor for myself. At the risk of over sharing, I’ve never had much success taking care of myself in the bedroom, I think because my top love language is physical touch. I’ve had to push it aside because my sex life (or lack there of) clearly can’t be a priority, but I feel a bit hollow without this type of physical connection. Ideally, I’d like to safely find someone who’s perhaps in a smiliar boat that I can occasionally connect with before I’m ready to seek out more commitment.

This isn’t a huge priority in the grand scheme of things. I don’t plan on rushing into anything (hence why I’m asking here), but I’ve thought for a while that this seems like my next step moving forward.

I’ve only ever dated friends and have never been on the apps, so I’m starting from square one.

Google recommended Bumble, Stir or Hinge.

Also to reverse search their pictures, meet in public first (that’s at least obvious), do a background check (not sure how). Any other suggestions on this end?

Otherwise, how do you schedule adult meet ups when your kids are at home? Give them melatonin, meet up after 10-11 and just whisper? Doesn’t sound any different than what I did when I was married, there’s just a new learning curve here.

Just wondering if anyone has experienced this and how realistic it is. I’m a single parent to a one year old. I don’t live close to family so it’s just me really. I would really love another child and I would really love a sibling for my child. Financially I can somewhat afford to have a second child but it would put a lot of financial pressure on me. I’m wondering if it’s possible at all to manage 2 under 3 as a single parent?

Edit: ..to clarify a few points that keep coming up.

1. Dad of baby 1 is present and nearby. In case anyone has to go to the hospital or needs hours of help with homework..

2. Family doesn’t live close by but comes and stays with me every couple months and could also be available for extended short notice visits.

3. Financially I’m ok. Probably more than ok. I have a good buffer if things go south.

4. I do not want a baby immediately. But probably in the next two or three years.

Ending my 18 year marriage and have 5 kids. I have dreamed of having a helpful roommate for years. We tried moving in my BIL but he quickly stopped helping, stayed in his room an ordered door dash every night. My soon to be ex husband was chronically sick and chronically lazy.

I would love to move in a single mom and we can help each other. Her rent would be cheaper than market, we could help with each others kids. Neither one of us would have to cook every meal, clean all the things, and an adult to talk to. Amazing.

How do I find someone, how do I vet them, how do I set boundaries in place so I don't get taken advantage of?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now. There are still custody issues with the kids so they don’t know we are dating and are aged 5 and 6 maybe 7 but I’m pretty sure she’s 6 both girls. I was their godmother before their mom abandoned them for another man and wanted to give the kids up to cps so her and my boyfriend could travel. When he said no she made a plan to leave him. I told her to wait until the youngest was in school but she did it in such a cruel way I could never forgives her. He’s still very broken from how she did it but has come a long way. I want to be there for him and the kids but I’m not sure when I’m allowed to speak up or step in and participate and he’s not good at telling me I think he just expects me to know. I don’t want to come across as overstepping so when we started dating I took a step back from the kids. Still coming to birthdays and buying presents but they no longer came for sleepovers or hangouts with auntie. Which I had moved into a smaller situation and car so we blamed it on that. I want so much to bond and love them. How do I approach all this love without scaring him or making him think I’m a freak.

ETA: the eldest girls came into my bfs relationship with his ex as an infant and he’s raised her ever since and is the only man she knows as dad. Mom gets a check for the little girl and he’s afraid if he fights for custody she will get it since she’s not his and he’s a man.

I don’t have to talk to him anymore! Like, ever. He has no visitation for now and no custody.... I felt horribly bullied in our mediation session but now I feel inexplicably happy. Realizing it’s over and wow I am free.

So, my son’s “father” wants to visit baby (7mo) for the first time. He’s talked a big game about being involved since I got pregnant, but he wasn’t at the birth, not of the birth certificate, hasn’t contributed a dime, and has only met my son once when we did a dna test of his request. He texts asking for pictures and checking in about once a month. He currently does not live in the same city as us.

He’s coming into town and wants to spend time with baby. I don’t know how to approach the situation. I am terrified of him having any kind of custody and honesty would rather him just piss off because it’s clear he is unwilling to be consistent. I’m trying to have a clear head about it, but mostly I just feel intensely protective of my son and don’t want to open the door to his inconsistency.

Thoughts? How have you/would you approach the situation?