I'm making my great uncle's blood sausage, but the butcher was all out of beef blood. Can I substitute my sister's blood from her 'time of the month' (I have quite a few tampons saved)? If so, are there any other adjustments I need to make to the recipe so that the sausage still turns out okay?

Ikea sucks.

And if so, what goes best with roasted kitty?

Just got a new bag of these delicious things. How should I cook them?

I am not a big fan of bitter coffee and want it to be sweet. Sure I could just use sugar, but I want to cut back on my sugar intake so what else can I use to make it sweet?

A while back, I bought two pies for 5 bucks. The first pie I cooked that night. The instructions said "Remove from packaging and place on baking sheet." So I figured the pie tin counted as "packaging" and I cooked it. When I took it out, the whole pie as melted into a puddle around the pie crust which had deformed into a heap on the baking sheet. We scooped up all the filling and ate it like a normal pie. The second pie we had placed in the fridge on it's side. This proved to be another horrible mistake, as the pie filling had oozed out and began to drip out of the container. In an effort to rescue the second pie, we froze it horizontally. When we took it out again, there was a nice empty pie crust with pie filling all around the bottom of the cardboard package. We took the pie crust out revealing a square sheet of frozen pie filling with a circle cut out of it from the pie tin. We broke the frozen filling into small chunks, arranged them into the pie crust, and baked it normally. Both were damn good pumpkin pies.

I’ve tried everything, but the polenta I made still tastes like cheese! I’ve added nothing except cheese, butter, salt, and pepper, but still it is yellow and cheesy. How fix?

I tried offering the humane society money for a few dead ones and they got all weird about it.

i usually pickup leftovers from kill shelters, but Great Wall beat me to it today :/

i keep hearing this from all the girls i meet and when i eat it using a knife they cry and run away . looks like i'm doing something wrong.

any help would be appreciated

I have a friend who wants to look younger. I've heard that eating a human fetus every week has wonderful anti-oxidant effects and does wonders for the skin. What is the most common way to prepare this dish without ruining the health benefits? Will she have to eat it raw for the anti-aging capabilities? Also, please let me know if anyone is willing to trade for some fetuses, I have lots of rare coins and posters of dead celebrities and speakers made of aluminum, and robots that whirr, and jacks-in-the-box, and meat cleavers. Thank you.

They seem to ooze a clear, sour-smelling fluid. As a man of logic, this tells me all the bad bacteria have leaked out and the chicken is good to go.

I'm thinking Tartare.