i used chat gpt to analyze my screenplay and it was a bit ruthless but mostly accurate. so I bundled it up to run any screenplay through it.

i have a bunch of rewriting to do as a result but it's my first screenplay. ymmv.

A bad idea?

Hello! I am a screenwriter who is passionate about writing scripts. I want to take screenwriting seriously. Attached here is a script that I will put up on my Fiverr portfolio to start a side hustle in screenwriting. Please do let me know what do you think, what I need to add, what do I need to remove. Please be as honest as you can get! My inner critic thinks it's pretty decent, but I think my inner critic's opinion is weak. I'm sure most of you here have better screenwriting skills and I, so I would love to hear from you :)
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ONGkt3zUyJSEXalqQgpyzol5rxacNW8y/view?usp=drivesdk

Alright, I'm sure some have heard that Adi Shankar is holding a contest for people to submit spec scripts to try and "fix" the Apu problem. I wanted to write my own script and submit it to try and give the other side in this controversy a voice.

Now, I still have till the end of June to submit so I have some time. This is a rough first draft that i would like as much feedback as i can. It doesn't have a lot of jokes because I wanted to get the bare bones first, but then again, this isent really mean to be a Simpsons episode, so there. Anyway, any and all feedback is appreciated.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zrSe3dJxkIe0UvSvlgusJYrVMjCrQ0rk/view?usp=drivesdk

I'll try to make my comments brief. I think having recieved so much feedback from the reddit community it has pushed me to make my writing better.

I concentrated completely on developing the relationship between Jeff and Jolene this time.

I don't know where I'm going. I've tried to leave it open so I can go anywhere.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fDjjFEs_ZEJem_IiIfFFWgmZ9DznAiNJ/view?usp=drivesdk

Ethan is 19 years old, he is a college freshman majoring in computer science. He lives on campus with roommates and every once in a while they have little conflicts, but overall get along well. Ethan comes from a wealthy and successful family, he inherited two million dollars from his parents, and they also paid for his full college tuition. Unfortunately his parents disowned him for being homosexual, and as a child, they forced him to watch a gay man being burned to death. Ethan loves to invest in real-este, and trade in the stock market. He also volunteers with animals, in soup kitchens and helps out with children events. He's a talkative friendly person who likes to play small pranks on people and lightly tease others. But unfortunately, Ethan can be quite a pushover at times. He was physically and verbally assaulted by his roommate but didn't do or say anything. He stayed calm and tried to defuse the situation by talking to him. His roommate often steals money from Ethan. Ethan would even leave money on the table for him purposely sometimes. Since his roommate was still being rude to him, Ethan got angry and eventually pulled out a sharp knife and smirked at his roommate saying, I'm rich, I could hire someone to kill you and you'd never be found again, I also have a gun around here. but then Ethan's girlfriend knocked on the door and asked Ethan if he was ready for lunch. He smiled and said of course I'm ready! And leaves with her.

I entered the WriterDuet 48 hour writing challenge. I need feed back. Please help

Script: https://docdro.id/u9WyKVr

How did I handle the POV shots?

Here is the link;

https://drive.google.com/file/d/128Ick8RxxMsF058lkKZrp1WKYVarTQ-M/view?usp=sharing

What would yall think of a TV show where and absolute scumbag of a human being becoming a world leader? I’m not talking about someone like Hitler or Stalin who became bad people when they were in power, In talking about someone who is already a murderer, rapist, or both, becoming a president or prime minister of a country or some other major position of power, and see just how awful the events that unfold are.

I've watched the current output produced by Showrunner. It's terrible. But give it 12-24 months. Worth a read.

Make sure your characters

1. Sound different and speak based on their age, background, culture etc. You should be able to read the dialogue and know who is talking without looking.

2. Don't sound like you

3. Look for unique names. Also make sure the names don't rhyme, have the same number of letters or start with the same letter.

4. Try to limit your dialogue to three lines.

It’s called ‘Three Bald Men!’

We might try to shoot it soon, but want to see what you think first!

Comment or message me and I’ll send it to you!

It chronicles the lives of three men who find camaraderie in being bald, fat, and out of their prime; dealing with the absurdities of everyday life while being bald.

Longline~ With Peter Parker trying to net his civilian solo life back on track a red head with a loveable personality enters his life when he wants it the least but needs it the most and with a new villain in town it’s up to Spider-Man to be on his top form as a hero and it’s up to Peter Parker to be on his top form as a potential romantic partner.

So quickly. This isn’t a fan fiction thing or anything. I treated this extremely seriously with a ton of passion and time behind it. Many drafts to perfect the story. The theme is ‘the things that scare us are the things we need the most’

For Peter it’s about re-falling in love. The whole screenplay is about that. Each main character has something to say about love and re-falling in love.

I wanted to write this because I’m fascinated by this idea. You meet your soulmate, fall in love and begin to build to the future and then, it’s gone. How do you fall in love again? Can you even do that? This story is my answer to that

It’s a character study of Peter Parker and Mary Jane

I hope you all enjoy, the link is in the comments. I’d love to know what you all thought. It’s a love story where a fight breaks out rather than the other way.

Hello, what follows is a 100% true story. This is the opening scene to a much longer documentary-autobiography about me, Malt Schlitzmann, world's greatest. Everything it depicts has actually happened, or will happen, or is in the process of happening now. I would never disrespect the audience by lying to them. Fiction is for cowards who fear the immediacy of now.

Fly with me, friends! Spread your phoenix wings and rise! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1j8ITkXn93ZBptCMrZdOOWRwHWPS8zt66/view?usp=sharing Thank you, and good luck.

PS- i'm allowed to direct on the page because my uncle is nintendo.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nKJBGM47gxuWOlSh6bo82GVuQ-gS0YlV/view?usp=sharing

It's a true story based on my life.

He was dead. It had been a year and a half. It was time to move on from here. It was time to leave this town and not turn back. I needed a fresh start at a new life. A life that didn't involve flashing lights, stripper poles, one dollar bills and a diminished self worth. A life that held so much promise and mystery. I only had 200 dollars in my back pocket, but it was enough to get me to California. He was dead, and I believed he died so that I could live. I had to believe that to get by, and I was going to be happy, if not for me then for him. It had been a crazy year, though. One that was filled with many rebounds that I had desperately clung to in order to fill that void in my heart from his passing. None of them had worked out, though. My chosen career had always gotten in the way of finding any real happiness. Not with him, though, he had been the one to introduce me into that world. Before I had met him, I had been a virgin, and was innocent to this lifestyle. I was so naive then.

We had been together six years before he passed, and it was only six months into our relationship when he confessed about being a male stripper. I think he wanted to wait until I had already fallen for him, maybe because he thought I would leave before then. I didn't want to judge him, and because I loved him I accepted it. Then I took it one step further, and delved into the lifestyle myself. Money didn't buy happiness, though, because it was him who ended up taking his own life - leaving me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and scarred soul. After his death I didn't care about my future or where it took me. The house I had bought and that we had built a life in was foreclosed, and my truck was repossessed. I just stopped caring about anything anymore.

As I looked around the one bedroom apartment for the last time I felt a mixture of anxiety and adrenaline course through me. I thought about everything I had experienced living in Spokane, Washington. All of those experiences were tied to him. The mountains, the rivers, the nightlife, the people, everything reminded me of him here. The only reason I pulled through this past year was by locking myself inside this apartment, putting on my headset, and immersing myself into the World of Warcraft. It was inside that game that I was able to escape from the reality of my emptiness. In that fantasy world I had met so many amazing people, and some not so amazing. Daniel was one of the amazing ones, or at least I hoped so. I hadn't met him yet, but, I would be doing that soon enough. He had told me he loved me, and I had said it back, but I don't think I meant it. I had wanted to mean it, though, and had almost convinced myself that I did. I wanted him to be the one to rescue me from my inner turmoil and restore my broken spirit. I knew I was just running away from the real truth, though.

See, before I mad met Daniel, I had met Mike, and before Mike, I had met Ken. It seemed I was subconsciously looking for a love that would make me whole again, but, none of them ever did for very long. Ken had been a great guy that was a lot of fun and amazing in the sack. Unfortunately, he ended up telling his rich upper class parents about my profession, and they weren't very open minded about it. They immediately judged me off of it. A lot of people did that, unfortunately. There wasn't anything I could have done about it. Once someone assumes they know everything about you, then it is nearly impossible to prove to them otherwise.

So, Ken and I ended up breaking up after only two months, after which I then met Mike. Mike was a Gladiator in the game and a model in real life. We had felt an instant connection to each other and would stay up all night just talking to each other over Skype. He lived in L.A and was trying to switch careers from modeling to acting. He had just broken up with his “psycho” girlfriend and was a bit broken up about it. Fast forward a few weeks later and I finally get up the guts to tell him I was liking him as more than a friend. To my complete and utter surprise he told me he felt the same and was crazy about me as well. So, I headed down to California for a mini-vacation and perhaps a shot at love in the dark. I didn't plan on sleeping with him, but, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. The attraction between us was electric. The fact that he always talked about his ex-girlfriend, though, was a warning sign for me to be careful with my heart around him. Unfortunately, that proved to be correct. His ex knew that he was talking to me and had met me, and she wasn't about to go down without a fight. Even though Mike had broken up with her, something told me there was still love between them. Despite his fervent attempts to avoid her at all costs, they were in the same social circles. It was inevitable that they would run into each other.

He ended up seeing her at an after party. He told me that they had talked for hours that night about their break up. I knew they had gotten back together before he even said the words. He apologized to me about it, but I'm not sure why he felt the need to. We had only just met and they had been in a relationship for years. He explained to me that they had a history, and that he was apparently still in love with her. I told him I was fine, but I really wasn't. I hadn't known that I had so much hope about him and me, at least not until he had crushed it. Their make up did not last long, though. To her it was just a game, and one that she played very well. I don't think she was really interested in being with him again; she was just interested in restoring her bruised ego from being dumped. It was only two days later that she stood him up and stopped returning his calls. When he told me about it I felt horrible, not just for him, but for what we might have been but never got the chance to be. We were just friends again after that. I felt like he might have thought he made the wrong decision, though. He still talked to me for hours on end, and a month later when I met Daniel, he became very jealous and competitive with him. At one point he told me that I was killing him, but did not elaborate anymore than that. I couldn't trust him enough to go down that path again, so, I didn't even acknowledge his remark. The window of opportunity for whatever we could have been had vanished the day he took his ex back.

Daniel, however, had pursued me with a passion. He was funny, smart, and sensitive. He could play the guitar and would write songs about his love for me. I really wanted this to work out. It was time to move on. Before I could change my mind about relocating to southern California, I turned around and walked away from everything I knew.

Logline: When a washed up magician wants to be remembered, he finds an opportunity in the end of the world.

Here it is

This is my submission to Create50's The Impact, and I'm looking for all of the feedback and critiques I can get!

Hi, so a few things. I want to firstly state, this is not about my score. If anything, the score made me go over my screenplay again and again. This is about me wanting to improve as a writer to be able to one day seeing my work put on screen. The 31st of January I bought a blacklist Evaluation. I expected to be waiting for a week or two. 3 days later I’m on the blacklist site, and notice i have an evaluation. I got a 6. I was surprised, disappointed but hey, such is life. Happens to us all. But then i looked at the feedback along with the ratings and was confused. The review was very surface level and didn’t read as an actual review. In the strengths paragraph, it says “It’s important to have the audience care about the central quartet.” And then in the Weakness paragraph it says “It’s important for the writer to know what their tone is going to be.” It’s this structural pattern that doesn’t really help me in anyway. The reader pointed out the dynamic between the characters was a highlight throughout the script but then gave my characters rating a 5. They called one of my characters a “Plot device” but then said they were “The heart of the story, and has the most flashbacks”. They called my antagonist ‘one dimensional’, which i would take as a valid critique if the story didn’t mean it clear in the first 25 pages that he isn’t who he says he is, and the reader didn’t say they “almost had their own complexities”. How can you be one dimensional but “Almost complex”? You either are or you aren’t. There’s no personal engagement in this. Perhaps i just don’t know what heart of the story means and am a complete idiot? It says my tones clash but never actually point out where. The reader NEVER talks about the big twist in the story. In fact, nothing in the review even ALLUDES to it being in the story. The reader called my screenplay “Melodramatic” “soapy” and like “a lifetime movie” yet never give specific details. There’s 0 “I” statements. It felt like they skimmed through the first 40 pages but maybe i’m wrong?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/18sjLnHAiQK-l0vUW5jtGj9II8mpjwcAM/view?usp=drivesdk

https://www.dropbox.com/s/flexckjfon4u8ms/Fuck%20Trump.pdf?dl=0

I know reddit doesn't want "hateful" material, so I hope this can be appreciated as comedy. Enjoy.

I wrote a very gay script and I need you to roast it into the ground lmao.

Title: But he's my boss?! —103 pages. Feature Length.

Logline: On the eve of Y2K, a gay mob enforcer is forced to confront his past when his ex-lover kidnaps the straight boss he’s loved for a decade—leaving him to choose between loyalty and self-worth.

It’s got forbidden boss/enforcer slow-burn tension that’s been simmering for ten years. An emotional support cactus named Robert who gets more character development than some humans. A drag queen crew mom who reads everyone. Backstreet Boys synced rooftop shootouts with champagne sabers and glitter grenade. Way too much blood, cocaine, and feelings in the same scenes.

I’m fully aware this thing is ridiculous. I just don’t know if it’s good ridiculous or “what the hell was I thinking” ridiculous. Read it roast me but I need some feedback.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tvQLwPb5nVGAfYz3qi8nhix1dk5-VQB-/view?usp=sharing

http://imgur.com/FhXD7

Hi! I'm a film student and screenwriter, and I have started a service where I will read scripts and offer feedback at a cheap rate. So far, people seem to appreciate the feedback.

If you're interested, email me at [email protected], which is also associated with the PayPal account that I take payment from.

Here's my pricing table. Shoot me an email if you have any questions. I can also offer services not listed.

HELPFUL HINT #1

Eliminate, replace or reduce redundant words in your descriptive narratives. These include: is, are, then, the, that, then, walk, look, sit, stand, just," of the", begin, strat, really, very.

Hey fellow writers,

I recently ran my script through an AI for analysis, and to my surprise, it actually provided some insightful feedback. It highlighted areas like pacing, character motivation, and even visual descriptions that I hadn’t considered before. For example, it suggested trimming some of my character's monologues to maintain the momentum, and gave advice on fleshing out another characters motivation for continuing the audition, which I found pretty interesting and something I thought of before.

I’m curious—has anyone else used AI in this way? How do you feel about AI’s potential to analyze scripts or offer creative feedback? Would you trust it to evaluate your work, or is there something about the human touch that’s irreplaceable?

Here’s a snippet of the feedback it gave me:

Areas for Improvement:
• Pacing: The tension builds well, but some of Prick’s monologues could be trimmed to maintain momentum.
• Character Motivation: Gabe’s reason for letting Prick’s audition continue, even when it’s clear he’s not a serious candidate, could be explored more.
• Visual Descriptions: More detailed descriptions of key settings (like the rehearsal studio) could help ground the scenes.
• Montage Sequence: The montage at the end could be more visually varied to better showcase the evolving relationship between Gabe and Prick.
• Dialogue Tags: “BEAT” and pauses felt a bit overused—maybe non-verbal cues could be a good alternative.

Overall Impression: The script has a strong emotional arc and a good balance of humor and tension. Tightening up the dialogue and adding more depth could really elevate it.