I really want to surprise my girlfriend with a dress for Christmas but idk where to shop for that type of style at all. She's shown interest in some floral designs and I'd love to see her in one but she's never worn any dresses because "she hasn't ever had anything dress up for". I'm gonna find a date for us where she'd feel comfortable dressed up a little

Top by Torrid. Jeans by universal standard

I went to our favorite hangout with my friends the other night. It was one of those evenings when I felt good about myself and at least kinda cute - or maybe it was the beers. I’ve been really heavy for a couple of years so that’s not a common mood for me. I went up to the bar to get my third beer and the bartender plops it down in front of me before I could even order. I tapped the back of a guy standing there and he said it was his beer but that I should have it and he ordered another one for himself. Amazing how the bartender came right over to him when he wanted one but didn’t notice me for several minutes. 

The guy and I started chatting. I didn’t catch his name but let’s call him Brad because that’s what he looked like. Tall, muscular, square jaw. He was super cute and very engaging. He said I was “really pretty” and that he liked “curvy girls.” He seemed to appreciate the fact that I am quite top heavy. I was just stunned and floating on a cloud and wondering if I had finally found a guy who liked me in a bar, because that had never really happened before. 

Brad had just gotten a new car and talked a lot about it, understandably. I’m not much into cars but I nodded a lot and asked questions and tried to match his enthusiasm. He said he wanted to show it to me once we finished our beers. He said I was easy to talk to.

When I finished my beer I said I needed to use the restroom but would be right back. Brad said he would be right there finishing his beer. 

When I came back he was gone. I waited and ordered another beer, which took a few minutes of course. No sign of Brad. I felt awkward standing at the bar alone so I went back to my friends. I told them what had happened. One friend had seen us and said he seemed really into me, which was like kinda crazy to hear. 

About half an hour later my friend spots Brad. He’s in another part of the bar and he just approached another girl. She’s also Asian like me, but thin. It’s not clear what’s going on. Maybe he’s showing her some magic trick because they have their hands interlaced in front of them and are laughing. I looked away because I didn’t want to be creepy. When I looked back a few minutes later their faces are super close like they are about to kiss. A couple minutes later they are gone. Maybe they went to see his car? Who knows.

I’m so discouraged by the evening. How come even when I get close to finding something special it turns out that I am not really close at all? I feel like saying it seems like it is always this way but that’s not quite true. It always ends this way, it just never starts as well as that night. That’s why the crash from the high to the low was so upsetting. I’m used to the low, just really sick of it. 
Sorry y’all. I just needed to rant. Maybe some of you can relate.

Ebenezer has a ridiculous amount of freaking jump scares. That is all.

Have a good week everyone !

🐆🐆🐆🐆

Hi! I've been teaching English at an academy lately. I'll share the outfits I wore during October.

What do you think?

Hey, so I apologize if I'm loopy typing this. It's way later than I should be up, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to make this post. I've just been hurting a lot lately though (to the point where I've considered a voluntary hospitalization), so I wanna get my feelings out there.

I (19 MtF) had been dating someone (22 NB) since June. It was going really well over the summer and the beginning of semester, but I got sick in September and never really recovered. That, the stress of classes, and the frustration over bedtime schedules due to spending time together (which I admit was a problem, but one I was willing and trying to work on... hospital stay until 7:30 AM due to the illness sure didn't help on that front though) was just too much I guess. (We also didn't match diet-wise, as they went completely vegetarian after we started dating.) They also said that I "deserve someone better," which I think is bullshit because they were the only one that was there for me, and often, the only one I felt would actually give a damn if I dropped dead. I miss them, all their enthusiasm, and all their love so badly. If I could've just spent my life with them and have no other worries in the world, I would've. But, I guess it just isn't how it's meant to be.

I also feel bad because it just doesn't feel like I am ever going to find anyone again, much less anyone that treats me as a person. I'm just shy of 350 lbs and in fucking Los Angeles for college. This city's beauty standards are so insane it's crazy. I've struggled with depression and trauma disorders (and might have undiagnosed autism), and I just can't connect with people. It just feels fundamentally like I'm a subhuman freak just for existing and that by continuing to be alive, I'm doing everyone a disservice. Being trans, being neurodiverse, being plus-size, and being into women/fem people exclusively while being a woman makes everything hard even on its own. All of these combined is a recipe for disaster, which made me so happy that I found them and that they asked me out first. Sure, things weren't perfect, and I did have to set a hard-rule about not discussing my weight and how much I eat early-on, but they largely were great. Now, I don't know if I'll ever find someone. I'm also at a small college too, which doesn't do me any favors.

Part of this could just be my depression and longstanding suicidal ideation making things worse, but I just generally don't have hope. They were one of the only people who I could tell genuinely cared about me, which makes this so much harder. I still haven't told my family that we broke up because I just haven't been strong enough to do it. Honestly, there's a good chance I'd probably be dead already if it wasn't for my partner who just left me. I'm just all over the place and don't know what to do. I'm in therapy and I am trying to get set up with psychiatry, but I can't fundamentally change these kinds of material conditions.

Idk what to even ask for. Thoughts? Advice? I just don't know. LA is a city of nightmares for plus-size women, I know that much. I also don't want to have to turn to the apps or risk things with off-campus dating. I just don't know what to do.

Sorry for the rambling.

I’ve been in the most disastrous mental space for the past few weeks following a comment a man made while we were intimate. What monstrous thing did this man say to me to start me on this emotional rollercoaster. Why only a well placed compliment that challenged deeply held world views that I’ve internalized.

“Your body is amazing”

Unprompted and in a way immediately killing the vibe. I felt exposed and seen. Like Adam and Eve realizing they were naked and should be ashamed. Like why would he say that. Why would he lie. What does he have to gain by giving a compliment he obviously doesn’t mean. That’s where my thoughts have been these past few weeks and I’m going insane.

How did I even get there is a bigger mystery. I’m a bit of a flirt under the guise that no one is ever interested but low and behold this super attractive man took the bait now we’re kissing down the street and I’m being being lifted off the ground as if I don’t weight 215lbs.

Crazy thing is, in a way he wasn’t even my type. Mostly because I don’t have a type because I try not to ever be as delusional as to think anything would ever be reciprocated. So borrowing the opinions of the group, he was a hottie. Tall, athletic, a former professional athlete and the buzz of this after work mixer. I just said hi because I literally had nothing to loose. One thing led to another and then our naked bodies were moving in sync and he say my body is ….. amazing… yikes.

Amazing is never something I’d though to ever here about my body let alone before I loose half my body weight. What’s that thing… cognitive dissonance. It one think for anyone to say that, but him… someone who aligned with conventional beauty standards.

It’s been a rough few weeks of abject self doubt.

On the one hand why would he lie, on the other hand it can’t be true as I’m perpetually single and receive no sustained romantic interests. Guess this is in deed the truest moment of when my father said men will only use me for sex.

Just getting this off my chest as I’ve already exhausted all my 2 friends with the dramatic retelling of that night. I hope I can recover soon.

Literally just what the title says. There are so many incredibly cute mini backpacks but they just get swallowed by my frame so badly 😭

Being broad and tall makes them look so incredibly tiny on my back that it looks ridiculous :/

Why can't there be regular size gimmick/merch backpacks in fun designs??

We did a girls trip to Puerto Rico and it was an EYE OPENER for me how easy it is to be young, petite, and pretty.

Ex: we were late for a kayak tour and missed it. Got an angry email about missing it. They eventually accommodated us. But only for 30 min vs the original hour we were supposed to get.

They were so charmed by these girls, they ended up giving us the hour. Asked to hang after the fact. And everyone had a grand time.

These girls had men lined up to dance with them. Got free this and that, had ppl bend over getting things done for them. And it was a whole new experience for me. I truly understood pretty privilege this past week. And I’m a pretty girl - I’m just not skinny.

On the flip-side, I also saw the bad. Two of these girls had a man jerking off to them in a beach shower stall (they weren’t even undressing). Another incident included 3 male tourists drunk and getting aggressive with their advances to a point where a local had to step in and drive them off. This scared everyone.

I’m a woman. I’ve gotten attention. But this was ANOTHER LEVEL. I saw the good and the bad but ultimately, it brought out my insecurities around being plus size and how invisible we can be

Been going out to a country bar where they do line dancing for a couple weeks now and it’s been pretty fun. I’ve noticed a guy who was kind of eyeing me last week but didn’t approach. Fast forward to last night and we actually ended up dancing cause of one of my friends going up to him and saying that I’d like to learn some dances. I don’t want to be delusional about anything, but I really hope this could lead to something. It’s also beneficial for me not being as afraid of rejection and trying to be more outgoing. After we danced he said to just find him if I wanted to do more, which was promising at least 😄 I haven’t been able to gauge how old he is, but I think he’s a little older than me. Let’s hope early 30s lol

This has been my favorite panty ever but they only made it for a very limited time. The regular bliss hipster is too clingy and works it way into my butt crack. I’m looking for a dupe. High % cotton, stretchy waistband, fuller in the front and smaller in back.

Lane Bryant, please bring back the cotton bliss hipster!!!

Hello all!

I am trying to plan a trip to go see my boyfriend (pleaseee disregard my username, I am trans and bisexual) sometime soon, as we are long distance and I want to visit him!

I live in Sweden, he's in Florida, and it seems like an absolute jungle to try to figure out the trip there even without the added difficulties of being fat.

What I keep getting stuck on in my mind is that I’d have to order two seats to get the space I need, which is gonna be an issue economically. I am curious as to how this even works. I see people talking about getting the money for the extra seat back, but I’m not really sure how this works.

I haven’t flown since I was a kid, so I was not as fat and not the one doing the planning back then. I’ve also never flown outside of Europe or had to make a connecting flight. So I’m very lost!
Is there anything in particular I should keep in mind? I know to get compression socks, but that’s about it. Are there any airlines that are better or worse than others? Literally any information that you can give me is helpful, I’m so lost. Thanks I’m advance!

I'm so frustrated and lonely today, I don't know what to do. I will probably spend the day sleeping.

So my (30F) love life has been nothing but a series of situationships, unrequited yearning, summer flings and short lived talking stages. I'm not sure if the only thing that spooks these men is my size (UK size 18) or also my personality 🤷‍♀️

I've tried Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, Feeld and probably something else. Hell, I'm on reddit trying again. I think I have enough experience to open a matchmaking service. You know what they say, coaches don't play. So I've been single-handedly keeping the dating app industry alive and paying match.com's bills (not proud of admitting I paid for the tinder subscription once).

I even considered long distance relationships because I live in Ireland which is a relatively small country, but what's the point if I can't see a person without catching a flight? And most importantly, a lot of men become weird when they realize you're bigger than they thought.

The problem with approaching people on reddit though, is that everything goes well until you exchange pictures and the physical attraction is not mutual. It ranges from disappointing to soul crushing, inevitably undoing years of therapy.

I was literally blocked once after sharing my picture. It made me feel so ugly.

I keep googling posts on this sub on how women have met their partner. I don't know how long I will be able to keep this need for companionship to myself. I don't want to settle but the loneliness is unbearable.

And it pisses men off to the upmost degree. I’ve seen what I can pull. God forbid a plus size woman have confidence. God forbid we know our worth. Gos forbid we like hot men.

Hello! I'm looking for some knee high wide fit boots.

My calves are 20 inches wide.

I'm looking for boots with a little to no heels, something not too expensive.

Do you have any recommendation for online shopping?

Hi all! I am looking for recommendations for cold weather essentials. I am relocating for work to Michigan from Florida in January & obviously do not have clothes made for that weather. I haven't lived in Michigan in over 15 years, so I don't even know where to start. Looking for everyone's recommendations for building a basic wardrobe so I don't freeze. Favorite jackets, shoes, pants/jeans, long-sleeved shirts, layering pieces. What ever you got! I am a size 22, 3/4x, and mid 30's. Thanks!!!!

i’m looking for a backless halter dress that’s loose and flowy. I really love styles I saw from Beyond Yoga however I’m a size 18US (53 bust, 44 waist, 51 hip) and they don’t carry the “ Go with the flow” halter dress in my size. I also really like a style from Halara but would prefer to order somewhere that’s more synonymous with quality (the plus size also only comes in black and dark grey and I want colors!) I’d like something that’s ideally a natural fabric like cotton, linen, or bamboo. I don’t know why it has to be so difficult to find what is essentially a big sheet with a string to tie around your neck at my size 😭 seems like something that would be really simple to find in a variety of sizes but it hasn’t been, hopefully you ladies (or whoever) can help me out!

I've bought and worn cotton & polyester (60/40 or 50/50) pajamas from Lane Bryant and have found more the pants to make me itchy. Today I was wearing a 100% cotton cable knit sweater and after wearing it for about 8 hours it started feeling icky. As soon as I changed to a pajama top I felt such relief. I think I've been this way since I was a kid. Anyone else have these feelings?

Hey guys, I have a wedding to go to in December. I've been looking at Ever Pretty website and love some of their dresses. The things is I'd like to order a few to try and only keep the one I like the most. So I was wondering, how's their return policy? Do they give you trouble? Do you have to pay if you don't keep a dress?

TIA

I’m going on a Disney cruise in January and really want cute Disney clothes. I love the look of the spirit jerseys but I’m only finding xxls. Normally I wear 4x if I want loose or baggy and 3x if I want fitted. I’m a size 26/28 pants and have a very large chest. I don’t want to spend the money if they aren’t going to fit.