I don’t mind my size. I’m 343 pounds, plus size 26/28. I noticed, though, that everyone lately, seems to be trying to lose weight. Is it a diet if you are trying to maintain? Yes, I have an Apple-shape and would love bigger hips, but I’m happy where I’m at. Thoughts?

Im just now in my 30s getting into fashion and I’m experimenting with different styles to find my look. I want to order from SHEIN but I’m not sure what size to get. I’m a 4x typically in Walmart brand clothes but the models of SHEIN size 4x look smaller than me. I’m 5’4 350 if that helps. Any similar sized ladies order from them and if so what size

I think I’m experiencing medical neglect from my doctors for my fatness!

TL;Dr my piece of shit neglectful doctors have let my eating order fly under the radar because I’m fat. Now I have gallstones and an actual diagnosis of an eating disorder.

I finally got diagnosed with one. I’m not saying that like I wanted one. I’m saying it because, for years, I’ve been neglected by my medical team because of my fatness—and I’ve only been fat for 3 years! Before this, I was extremely skinny.

I was taken seriously by my nutritionist (whom I no longer see) when I was skinny when I told her I only eat about one meal a day. Her priority was to get food in to me and she said she didn’t care what it was, just 3 consistent meals a day.

Then I left her because my insurance changed and I gained weight from some medications. Now I’m fat. And I’ve been telling my doctors I still only eat one meal. Suddenly, I’m having excruciatingly painful stomachaches that send me to the ER. The ER doctor tells me I got them from eating fatty, greasy foods. I’m left with that knowledge for years until today

Let’s not forget that my blood has been out of order and I get sent to a hematologist. He tells me my iron is low (like it has been all my life) and my white blood cell count is elevated. The only treatment he has for me—and wait for this one—to make my WBC count go down is to “eat less.” I’m not even joking. He just tells me that, deadpan, straight to my face. And then the appointment ends. I was pissed. I had been telling my doctors for months I was only eating one meal—including him! Yet they STILL put me on Ozempic, which is supposed to suppress my appetite. But what the FUCK was it suppressing, when I already don’t have an appetite at all and I eat ONE meal a day? Like IVE BEEN FUCKING TELLING YOU BITCHES?

So I get told to “eat less” by a sketchy ass hematologist, I’m put on a weight loss medication—which, by the way, doesn’t work for me at all. I loose five pounds on it after being on it for almost 2 years. And my doctors aren’t even updating my chart or keeping track of my dosage while I’m on it, and they’re just keeping me on it indefinitely—so after almost two years I say FUCK THAT. Why am I sticking myself with yet another medication I do not need and I stop asking my doctor to update the prescription and I throw it out. I’m not going through what I went through again like with Metformin—where I was taking it and I didn’t even need it and it was making me viciously nauseous and vomit everywhere I went.

And now the only person who believes I have an eating disorder is my therapist, who diagnosed me with one. She was shocked last week when I told her I only eat 400 calories a day, give or take. And she got really worried. I’ve told her about my eating habits before. And I’ve told other therapists about my eating habits before. The other therapist I told called me obese and said I needed to exercise more.

By the way, the doctor who told me I ate too much “fatty, greasy food” didn’t take into account that I am a gardener. And at the time, I was living off of what I planted in the garden and I only shopped at Trader Joe’s LMAO. I managed a garden with over a hundred beds of fresh produce. And lived off of that for almost two years while I was getting the stomach pain episodes. But I was only eating one meal at the end of the day. I was skipping breakfast and lunch and all snacks. I remember what my diet consisted of very specifically during those years—which, by the way, I was homeless all during that time. And I’m general I do not eat fatty foods. I’ve never been a person to eat super unhealthy. I don’t like things like fried chicken or soda or greasy hot wings. My mom always tells me I eat like a bird. I read today that skipping meals can increase your chances for gallstones and so can being overweight. Simultaneously, losing weight rapidly can increase the risk too. I was told none of this. I wasn’t even told what to avoid or prevention. I was just told that I eat fatty greasy foods and that I need surgery. They assume that because I’m fat, I eat fried chicken and greasy pizzas all day. FUCK THEM!

And now I have a fucking eating disorder and gallstones because you neglectful bitches!

And the worst part is that my insurance doesn’t pay for a nutritionist! I’ve been trying to see one for years! I even went to a bariatrics surgeon just to see a nutritionist and they said I’d need surgery to see one. I don’t need surgery. I have this weight because of the medications! And I’ve been telling them to take me off of the medications because I don’t need them. Those are the ones that have made me prediabetic before and overweight. Not “eating too much” or “eating fatty, greasy foods.” Fuck them fuck them fuck them!

And people want to say fat people don’t face discrimination or hardship! I have suffered with an eating disorder due to my doctors NEGLECT all because they say I’m fat so I can’t possibly be suffering with a food-related illness.

I’ve used pads my whole life. I’ve always been so scared to use a tampon or diva cup lest they get stuck or something like that. Any recommendations?

What the actual hell… I hated every inch of that so called documentary. The comments were even worst; calling us lazy saying it’s not an excuse to be overweight or obese, how we are all unhealthy and ate going to die from diabetes.

I am dumbfounded completely… in the documentary there is a “camp” for girls to fucking lose weight… they have to calculate all their food(calories/salt/fat) how does that not all make EDs!! These girls were all super young too! They left all their friends and family and schooling behind to JUST LOSE WEIGHT?!?! How is this okay?

I am sick and tired of people saying we’re all unhealthy and will die very young and just assume we’re all lazy… the comments saying how we’re all glorifying obesity and promoting unhealthy habits etc… I CANT.

Anyway that’s my rant for today thanks for listening! 🥲🥲

EDIT: Shit-ton of downvotes? would some of you be so kind as to share with me why you feel this way? I've had shit experiences, and I'm just done, I'm sorry.

I'm pansexual. My last boyfriend was in 2002, and I've been with my girlfriend since 2006. I've decided ages ago that if i ever lost her, I will not be dating anyone ever again. I'm 58 and too old for other people's nonsense, much less the endless rigamarole of trying to find someone that is multiplied by 10 if you're so much as five ounces over the ideal weight these days it seems.

The more i read stories like ones here and stories about men losing interesting because their wife gained 15 pounds etc etc ETC the more solidified in that I become. Those of you who are still looking, I wish you the best of luck! There's bound to be a great guy who really loves you out there. It just isn't for me anymore.

Hi all, I'm Laura Ingrid, MtF 16.

Honestly, I feel like everyone thinks I can't be girly when I'm plus sized, I'm 90kg 175cm...i constantly get shit from a whole lotta people about how girls can't be plus sized and about how plus sized girls wear guys clothes and I just...idk...I don't mind being like this, but everyone else seems to give me shit for it.

I hate this society.

Hello!

First of all, I'm not plus size, and I'm not a parent, I just wanted to know if anyone has dealt with this and how.

We know that kids, little kids especially, can say the darndest things. But they don't do it with malicious intent, they're just spouting stuff out their lil mouths, with no filter.

I was wondering what do you do when curious little kids ask you the reasons for you looking like that or they simply make a comment. I believe they can serve as teaching moments to build up kindness and empathy. 🥰

Thanks in advance 😊

TLDR: How do you usually turn innocent kiddie comments/questions about being fat into teaching moments?

Edit: Since someone pointed it out, I sounded a bit condescending at some point. I edited that part.

Does anybody know where to get micro/mini skirts that are actually mini/micro? Like I want them TINY, TIINNNYYY, size of a belt tiny if you know what I’m saying. I will not accept shein or dolls kill, or any unethical places like that!!

So I attended a wedding tonight and I left so bitter and depressed...

It was kind of weird: on one hand I felt some lustful looks from some male guests, on the other hand I was pretty much invisible at the same time... The fact I wasn't aknowledged during small conversations compared to my family members (my sister is conventionally attractive) was very indicative of how people think so low about plus size women, the lustful looks didn't surprise me cause that's all a plus size woman with big breasts gets but "how shocking" none of these man asked me to dance or something like that, of course all the thin women were dancing... It didn't help that my table was far from the bride and groom and far from the dance floor...

Watching the video friends made for the bride and groom with their pictures was a punch in the stomach... Knowing you'll never have that kind of love...

Knowing the reason being is your weight cause men are ashamed to be seen with you, they want a woman who's the prize like a show pony... Knowing you will never be chosen like that because of how f*t you are...

Being so invisible but so watched for my body I realized I never built something in this world, no real connection, I never left a mark in the world, people don't want to befriend you for your weight, men only want to arrange secret meetings with you and use your body...

I left kind of disgusted by myself cause I realized how alone I'm actually are, even the few friends I can count on my hand, I can feel the distance from them too cause I'm not pretty enough for the body standards, I'm not cool enough, yes you have these "friends" but it's like you're there but you're not there for these people... I'm angry because I realized I haven't built anything in my life and I'm almost the same age as the bride and groom, my life is empty... I realized none of those people at that wedding cared I was there, watching all the friends dancing with the couple I thought that I don't have that deep connection with no one, I have no husband and no friends I met because of my spouse, basically I don't have anybody, just a few friends I met during high school and they don't even care

I left with a tear going down my face in the car knowing I failed... I suddenly realized that this body ruined my life forever and even if I decided to do something about it tomorrow, it wouldn't be enough to repair all these years lost and all the damage done, especially on a social level...

I realized I screwed up everything and it might be too late...

Have you ever felt something like this?

Hi there, I'm a 28-year-old woman, and recently I've been trying to steer clear of people who are fatphobic. I have one friend who I'm not sure about in this regard. She's never made any comments about my weight, but she did say something about another friend recently. She remarked, "She's lost so much weight, when she gained a lot last year she really was obese." Now, this friend she was talking about wasn't particularly overweight in my opinion, maybe even less so than me. So, naturally, I couldn't help but wonder, "If she thinks that about her, what does she think about me?". Plus, whenever she talks about her mother, she always mentions that her mother is obese. I'm not sure how to interpret all of this. Maybe I'm overreacting, and her comments are triggering my own insecurities about my body. But it's bothering me nonetheless. I don't have any friends with a similar body shape as mine. I'm a UK size 14-16, and all my other friends are skinny. What do you think about this friend? Could she be toxic for me in the long run? Thanks for your input.

Recently I started a new job at a plus size store. As with most clothing stores, we are encouraged to wear our brand. I have recently lost some weight and I fit the smallest size our store offers. Occasionally I receive comments about me being small. Over time I have become a little self-conscious of myself due to these comments. I'm afraid that I might upset people that shop at our store. I try my best to learn issues plus-size women encounter when shopping so I can help though, I know I will not be as good as someone who experiences these issues themselves. I'm curious if anyone would be upset seeing a smaller person working at a plus-size store. 

TLDR: Yet another fat woman trying to feel attractive in a world that was built for flawless skinny white girls under 30. It was triggered by intertrigo, which seems to be a giant theme here right now! Damn.

General context: I'm polyamorous or otherwise ethically non-monogamous.

CW: internalized fatphobia.

××××××××××××××××××

For a long time, my nesting partner (29M) has been struggling with a lack of sex drive and function due to depression or medication side effects.

I (40 F) have basically always struggled with taking showers consistently, due to discomfort with seeing my body in that setting, exhaustion from the 97 different steps once you lump in curl management, feeling like I don't have time, and some sensory aversions to the fan and the bright lights (although I need them if I'm shaving.) When I have one or more sex partners I see fairly regularly, I shower frequently--before seeing a partner if I need it for their sake, and afterward for the sake of the next partner I will be seeing.

I apply some antifungal essential oils in witch hazel, letting it dry, and applying the Lotramin powder to the creases between my legs and stomach. There's three of those 97 steps I talked about, but I do it EVERY morning when I get dressed, too. Even though I feel shame when I do it because I feel I shouldn't have to, that it is not okay. Despite this routine, I have managed to get another fungal infection in the area. 🤮

Rational me (R): "Why don't you shower more often?" Emotional me (Em): "Why bother? It isn't like I'm getting together with anyone whose going to get close enough to fucking notice." R: Because YOU notice? Em: But I don't feel any less disgusted when I get out of the shower.

<Sobs>

I am at my heaviest by a few pounds, I haven't really resolved my emotional eating, and intentional weight loss just makes me super defensive and angry. So....this probably isn't going anywhere any time soon. I HAD gotten to a point of appreciating my body on the whole, seeing some features as attractive, but...<shrug>

Any advice? Validation? Perspective?

Went to the doctor's recently for my annual physical. Everything is fine, blood sugar is great, cholesterol is normal, not a single issue. I actually walked away feeling fairly decent, and my doctor has a very HAES approach. But I made the mistake of looking at the scale when they weighted me.

I was aware I have gained weight, it's a combo of entering my 30s and finally eating better after years of EDs. But there is still something so upsetting about seeing the number go up. It's silly, and doesn't matter given that I am healthier now than when I was thinner...but I can't help but hear my mother's voice in my head. I feel like I passed that "acceptable" fat limit and am now in a "bad' fat body (which, again, is goofy since there are people my size and bigger that I think are gorgeous.)

It's such a weird space. To know I'm doing much better than I was 5 years and 60 lbs ago, but also missing that better perceived body

Anyway, I'm working on getting set in a fat community and finding friends online I continue to work and grow and am proud of taking on challenges. But there are still setbacks.

Something about healing not being linear, ya know?

I just moved and I'm terrified of going to the doctor because I don't want to work with regular doctors because they're always fat phobic and I don't want to trigger my ED. My old doctor was an eating disorder specialist, and she's very educated in fat acceptance,HAES, is not medically biased or discriminatory against me because of my size.

I was diagnosed prediabetic by her about three months ago. I need to do a follow up with a Dr to see if my a1c has made an improvement or if it's still elevating. Months prior she told me my sugar was a bit high so to make sure I'm eating more balanced and a variety of foods, limiting stress and she prescribed me metformin. I made a diet change without fully restricting as I'm early in my ED recovery. My blood sugar still went higher with the changes. I feel hopeless and like the stereotype of a fat person. "fat people always have diabetes" I know it's so ablist of me to view I'll health as a moral failing and fatphobic to equate size with health and morality. I'm just venting. Thanks for listening

So sometimes commercials have people singing a parody of a popular song about the product, right? Well, a commercial I've frequently seen for Wegovy does a thing with "This Is Me" from The Greatest Showman (because "Wegovy" scans to "this is me").

So what's so potentially fatphobic about that? Well, you take Wegovy for weight loss and "This Is Me" is a self-esteem anthem with a plus-size character (played by a plus-size actress) singing lead. So you see how that might have been a bit of a poor-taste or at least not-really-thought-through choice

I'm going to a party where I have to wear all white....

I'm a female and I'm on day 3 of my cycle (IYKYK).

This is going to be hell.

The end.

Update: the party wasnt bad and there were no issues! Even was able to dance with my son 😁 thanks for all the suggestions!!!

My doctor walked into the room. I said, I have some ground rules before we proceed.

1. I'm a smoker I've tried everything to quit. Leave it alone you'll stress me out. (she looked irritated at this)

2. Clearly I'm fat. I'd be pretty blind to miss it. Just assume I've tried everything to lose weight. (she started cracking up! "I wouldn't put it that way though" I raised an eyebrow "honey I just did")

3. Just document that you've talked to me about both things. I'll always back you up that you did. (Kaiser)

She never brought either up. It's been my rule ever since. Go nag somewhere else.

I'm beautiful, I love myself I've accepted who I am for a very long time. I'm damn gorgeous. Don't like how I look? Cool don't look!

Please accept yourself. You are gorgeous. I promise.

So context, in the past I've had a really bad eating disorder and starved myself a bunch in order to lose weight. It was never really something I did for myself, I was doing it in order to meet other people's standards in hopes they would like me more. Eventually, I think because my brain realized how much damage this was doing to me, I had a sudden and very extreme backlash to weight loss and diet culture as a whole. This also resulted in me actually starting to get body dysmorphia from being thin, because having drastically altered myself through damaging means in order to please other people didn't feel like "me", and I actually now feel better plus size at this point.

With this backlash to diet culture came a very strong aversion to limiting or restricting foods in general due to having done it too much in the past. Like even thinking about trying to do so is triggering now.

Due to trauma from being way too restrictive of of food in the past and the backlash to it that my brain had, my relationship with food seems to have sort of flipped. I love food, having foods I like makes me feel safe, not having access to that or trying to restrict that makes me feel unsafe, I comfort eat when I'm already full just because I like food, although I'm embarassed to admit it.

And I'll be honest, I'm insecure as fuck about it. I feel like I lowkey eat like a stereotypical fat person. I do eat other things but I eat like 90% carbs, mostly breads and pastas, and kinda just snack a lot throughout the day. I feel like as soon as people find a reason it's your "fault" that you're fat, it's so easy for them to reduce you to a stereotype and it drives my anxiety insane.

I also don't actually want to change my eating habits. In a world free of fatphobbia and judgement I wouldn't even think about doing so. I like my food, having foods I like feels comforting and cozy, I feel most comfortable living how I am and the idea of giving that up is honestly really triggering.

But that's not the world we live in. The world we live in is full of fatphobia and judgement and this just makes me so insecure. Honestly I think the idea that anyone's body type is "wrong" or worse, regardless of the "reason" for it, is wrong and goes against my moral values, but I feel like people tend to be a lot nicer if you have an "excuse" like "oh it's just genetics" or something, and once it's something that's your "fault", they decide it's something wrong with you even if changing it would be triggering, make you unhappy and that will hurt you.

I feel like I'm being pressured by society to sacrifice my own happiness and comfort in order to gain their approval. Beauty standards are fucking stupid. Why does society think me sacrificing my own comfort in order to fit a mold would be most beautiful? Why can't me being comfortable and having things that make me happy be desired? People are most beautiful when their smile is genuine(That's not to say people can't be beautiul when they're sad, what I mean is people are most beautiful when they're living authentically to what feels right and not forcing themselves to conform to a standard that hurts them to try to meet).

Honestly it kinda hurts that they attach a "fault" to the way my body is at all. Why is the way my body is while I'm comfortable considered "my fault" and the body I would have to do something that makes me feel like shit in order to achieve considered the "default"? why can't the state of being I'm in while I'm comfortable be considered my "defualt"? People act like if it's possible for you to be thin you should be, like my body type is somehow "worse", when the steps required to be thin would be triggering for me, and being thin itself would give me dysmorphia because trauma from drastically altering my body to please other people.

These standards and expectations are all so fucking outrageous and stupid but they get to me so much. I'm scared to eat with other girls because I always compare how much I eat and it confirms that it's not all in my head, I do actually just eat a lot. I'm scared to snack around others too much. The idea someone might see me as the stereotypical "fat girl in the group who snacks all the time" fucking terrifies me. I hate it. So fucking much.

These stereotypes fucking terrify me because they're kinda true about me. I am a fat girl that kinda snacks all the time. But that's not a part of my personality and I don't want to be stereotyped for it and reduced to that stereotype. This doesn't define who I am, this is just the way I am while living comfortably.

I get so fucking insecure about this and I'm honestly just kinda needing someone to reassure me that it's not wrong for me to live comfortably and have things I like, and that my body type isn't worse or wrong, and that there's not something wrong with me for the fact that I honestly feel better plus size, all the pressure from society to change myself to please them is just getting to me so bad.

Edit: Dear petty assholes why downvote someone sharing their feelings? Get a life.

before i start, the title sounds crazy on purpose to get your attention! i consider myself a feminist/womanist and i am pro women’s liberation—however, this has been weighing on me heavily and I want to hear if others feel the same, general opinions, etc.

so, i am on the side of tiktok that talks about social justice issues, social commentary stuff, etc and i see a lot of content of women basically talking about how men, dating, love isn’t worth it because men tend to be less emotionally intelligent, misogynistic, overall worse partners and so on. and the way i’ve been receiving the messaging feels like these people think women who are trying to date and/or find love are kinda dumb and wasting time because it’s like finding a diamond in a sea of trash.

as a straight woman who wants to find love and has zero experiences with romance, hoping to find my person, it’s really discouraging to see all of these messages saying that it’s pointless to try and date/ aspire to marry (not that it’s my ONLY or main aspiration). and it makes me feel stupid or naive for wanting it, or less of a feminist because of how these videos discuss the topic. i just don’t understand how—as a woman—denying myself of a personal desire would make me feel MORE liberated. like i could get over it if i don’t end up finding my person because i have other things i love, am grateful for, and want to accomplish, but it’s like…i’d still be sad and mourn it, yknow?

i’m also a young woman (21) and i see a lot of these posts by older women, and i acknowledge that they know more than i do, but it’s like, you’ve probably had experience with romance (whether good or bad) and you’re telling me—a person who’s life really has just begun—that i need to forfeit all of that and not even bother? and i do think being plus size is an important identity that doesn’t get included in these videos because i feel like navigating and finding love is different for us and can be a tricker/slower process if that makes sense.

i’ve started to engage with this content less and honestly block some people because of how sad it makes me, and i know these are very real and important conversations, but damn it gets draining to be made to feel bad about wanting this!!!

idk this was messy and ramble-y but i wanted to get it off my chest. i’d love to hear your thoughts whether encouraging or co-signing what these videos say, or maybe success stories of your love lives! thanks for listening 💕

EDIT: does anyone have any authors or readings that discuss this topic of feminism/liberation and the want for partnership/romance/sex, etc with men? how those two interact, impact each other? through like a personal, livelihood type of way, if that makes sense? thanks!

Why is no one talking about the blatant fatphobia in Young Sheldon??!!! Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the show but it’s bad! I’ve been trying to do research for my podcast and find news articles or blogs on the subject and nothing! So I thought I’d come to Reddit and ask if you all had thoughts on it or knew of any writings about it.

Ok first of all no hate at all, it's admirable that a lot of you are confident in your plus size body & I would definitely date a bigger person as long as am attracted to them. However for me personally I find it hard to be confident so I'm trying to lose the weight but in the meantime am plus sized.

So my question, if I were to meet someone on social media or dating apps & they want to "trade pics" & ask for a full body pic (mainly if nude tho) is it ok to say am not comfortable with that right now as am trying to lose weight? I just feel like they might judge me & not want to talk anymore after that but maybe that just means there not the one for me then?