Hello, this is a poorly written heat-of-the-moment thing but something that I have been meaning to write for few days now. I’ll preface it by saying that I apologise for any language or any other stuff in this post but for my own mental sanity I need to share this in the open as both my attitudes and some of your attitudes need to change in future.

MHOC is becoming a very toxic place to be. I say becoming but it has always been so - successive speakers have just been excellent at papering over the cracks and I congratulate them for that, but clearly I am not as good as them in that department. Of course it’s been a heated few days and I don’t blame the community for being heated but in general I can’t take people getting so vigorously and verbally abused in main chat or anywhere anymore.

Maybe I’m just soft, but I’m sitting here feeling guilty for banning these people who do deplorable things and who I don’t want in our community, but there is a sinking feeling of guilt as if it’s my fault for somewhat noticing that they are suck fucks. I have never set out to target anyone or any party and having shared a party with people who have got banned or have been affected by this, it pains me that people would think I sit there setting out who we’re going to ban next. It pains me that I’m having people who I really like or have got to know turn around and say that I’m making terrible decisions and making me feel like shit.

I know I shouldn’t care about any of this and it is my job and this is what I signed up for, but I’m an 18 year old kid who has had no prior experience with these concepts that people are getting banned for. I’m having to deal with shit I didn’t even know existed and quite frankly people that act like bullies.

Aside from the bans, I spend (along with some others who I am eternally grateful for) nearly a full day planning an event for you guys. I know it’s not the best and I know I’m not the most creative person, but I tried. Immediately after it was put up - and before it even started there were people not bothering, saying it was shit and forced. By the end of it too I had had enough and just called an end to it early because I couldn’t deal with the constant criticism. Again, that’s just me being thin-skinned and that’s on me and I will be doing something about that, but please just remember the human, remember that I’m quite sensitive (especially during this time due to real life stuff) and just if you have any criticism I can take it but just shoot me a PM or something don’t just talk about me where I can see you but it’s basically behind my back.

Back to the bans, tonight wasn’t the first time that it has impacted on my personal life or my enjoyment. I just wanted to sit there and watch the olympic cycling, something I’m mad about and have waited weeks for, but instead I was running about organising punishments and having to juggle three different conversations at once. I sat and am still sitting here with tears in my eyes and I don’t know why, it’s just such a surreal emotional experience.

Now, there are some great guys on here and a few that I would consider friends and I thank them so much for allowing me to vent to them at times like these. Even if they don’t respond a lot it’s just great to be able to air things but it’s got to the point where I have to say this in public. I have no intention of stepping down, I really do care about this sim, but this is the third night in a row that I have gone to bed feeling like this and it is getting grating.

Here’s what I’m going to do about it on my end. I am going to make a secondary discord account that just has me in main chat and speaker server for speakering, that I will use for a bit just to remove me from some of the other chats. I have a tendency to click and I never like what I see, so I’m doing what someone suggested to me way back before I ran for speaker and removing myself as much as I can from skype and discord. I will check back on my existing account a few times during the day to ensure that people are behaving but I just ask that during this time you PM me with any issues and I will deal with them specifically.

Now, onto you guys, just fucking cut out the toxicity. If you don’t have anything nice to say just don’t say it. People’s personal lives, where they come from, the name of their dog, isn’t there for you to sit there and cross-reference. If somebody asks you not to do something don’t continue doing it. If you are having an argument with someone, a) don’t and b) take it somewhere elsewhere please it’s not welcome here.

I don’t want to leave you, and I want to push ahead with what I came in to do, clean up this place and introduce new things. If people do ever think I am doing badly or need a kick up the arse I’m happy to hold a voc in myself whenever you want because at this stage it would probably be healthier for me if I failed it.

MHOC is not in a healthy place right now, the subreddit activity is drying up, we are losing members because of how toxic people are and we aren’t gaining them at all. Just please, remember the human and let’s make this GE the best damn GE ever and make this simulation the gem I know it can be.

PS, this isn’t nor do I want sympathy from this post and I will lock it to ensure that.

It came to the attention of the author that UKIP has advertised in /r/european for the current General Election. For those who are unaware, /r/european is a hotbed for racists, Holocaust deniers, nazis, and Islamophobes.

Certainly UKIP was aware of all of this. Could their looking for votes from an clear nazi subreddit signify their plans to shift to the radical right?