Hello everyone! I’ve seen quite allot of post asking for scene suggestions.

So I compiled a list of 101 Femdom Ideas.I have personally tried all of these and found them great. I cant actually post all the 101 ideas in one go since reddit only allows 40K words and this is 68K. so I will post 50 first and then post the rest in the comments. :)

Both in getting some inspirations and 2 being able to trow together a scene quickly when I want to.

I also linked to www.lovehoney.eu for all the gear that I use.

Now since this is the internet I want to make it perfectly straight I HAVE NOT COME UP WITH ALL OF THESE IDEAS MYSELF. Some I’ve found here on this awesome forum, some I’ve red about and some I have come up with on my own .

Now 101 Ideas is quiet allot so below is a number generator.

It will pick a number between 1-101, use this to get started.

Random Number Generator 1-101.

P.S A few my favourite which you should definitely check out are 20, 91, 90, 83, 78 and 79. ;)

Before you go! Remember to always play with consent and listen to your partner when you’re playing. At the end of the day its two people having a good time not just 1.

Now grab your whips and let me present 101 Femdom ideas.

1.) Don’t drop it - Let’s start simple!

Sit in a chair Infront of your sub.Have him on his knees with his hands tied behind his back.Place a remote control toy in his ass.

Ask him to describe how sexy he find you.Tell him you want to hear how much he worships you.

Then remove your panties and hang them off his hard cock.Start to mastrubate.

While you mastrubate he is going to continue saying how sexy he finds you.

If he at any point drops your panties or starts to repeat himself, punish him.

Maybe he will not be allowed to cum.Or maybe he will not be allowed to fuck you.

2.) Ice Ice baby - Place a steel or glass dildo in the fridge before play.

Then tease him with it and tell him that it’s going up his ass.obviously having it cold will not be very nice.

So tell him to suck on it to heat it up.But he only has 10 sec to do so.

This is always great fun watching your sub suck on the dildo like theres no tomorrow.

Great as a punishment!

3.) A lion in the bedroom - Time for some kinky sex.

In this scene your are going to have sex normally but you are going to be in complete control.

Spank his Ass.Spit on his face.Bite his dick.Pull him into different positions by his hair.Call him names.

When he cums ruin his orgasm!

4.) Massage - Tell him that he is going to prepare the best massage you have ever experienced.

Tell him that you expect it to be at least 40 minutes long and that you want to be impressed.

A good massage could include.

Full body massage with oils.candlesoothing musicFruitchocolateRelaxing essence

When the massage is over the scene is over.Everything does not have to be sexual.

5.) Who Makes the Rules here? - This is a ‘’Bitch scene’’. I came up with this one because my sub mastrubated without my permission and I got mad.

Start by laying in bed and initiate normal sex the way you usually do. Kiss his neck, touch his body you know the usual stuff.work him up to think that you are just going to have normal sex.

Then start the conversation.

‘’Baby, have you been a good sub for me?’’‘’Have you not been cheating and mastrubating without my knowledge.’’

When he admits to have mastrubated.Change tone immediately! Be angry and show him what he did is not okay!

‘’What!? Are you fucking kidding me!!’’

‘’Get up and kneel!’’

Force him out of bed and have him kneel Infront of you.

‘’Stay here and don’t fucking move!’’

Go to your toy box and get a whip, lube, pegging kit and a chastity cage. If you want to dress sexy do, take you time. He most definitely can wait.

When you’re done come back tell him to close his eyes.Stand in front of him and ask.

‘’What are our rules?’’

‘’ Is there something that you don’t understand with our rules?’’

‘’And what happens when you don’t follow the rules?’’

‘’That’s right baby I will decide a punishment and punish you’’

Hold the pegging kit in one hand the chastity cage in the other.Tell him to open his eyes.

‘’Now baby what should I do? I could peg you and then ruin your orgasm. Or I can put you in chastity for a week and then make you beg to cum?’’

Look at him like you want an answer.Even if he doesn’t give an indication to what is the best.Pretend that you heard him say something.

‘’The fucking the nerves you have… did I ask for your opinion?’’

Since he can’t keep his mouth shut when he should.You will do both!

Start by pegging him.and while you’re pegging him make him repeat the rules to prove that he knows them!

Then spank him 30 times with you whip.Have him count every hit out loud.

Then have him make you cum in any way you want.with his mouth, fingers, dick anyway you want.

After that you are done place him in chastity for the week!He will definitely learn his lesson after this!

6.) The Coin Flip - Perfect ending scene!Make your sub Edge for you at least 10-15 times in a row.

Then bring out a coin:

Heads he gets to cum, Tails stop immediately. Better luck next time honey.

This is allot of fun if he has been in Chasity before the scene.

If he loses place him in chastity again.And have him try his luck again the next day.

If you want to, you can extend the chastity by blindfolding him.then simply lie about the result of the coin flip.

7.) Stay Down - This is a body worship scene.

Sit in a chair or on the side of the bed.

Have him on his knees worshipping your feet with massage and kisses. Don’t let him progress up onto your legs. Let him stay there and beg to kiss your legs!

Then when you see fit ask him:

‘’Who do you worship?’’‘’Repeat our rules’’‘’ Are you my bitch?’’

Then let him progress to massaging your legs.

This scene is so so great as the start to your scene. Or just if you want a foot rub with a femdom twist.

To spice it up place a remote control toy in his ass and play with him while you enjoy your foot massage.

Alternatively use this as a punishment. Tell him he has not earned to kiss you or your body. He has not even earned to kiss your asshole.

8.) The Surprise Ending - Have sex like you’ve probably done a million times, and do all your normal things.Don’t do anything Dominant, just do what you normally do.

But when he cums surprise him by making him clean you with his mouth.It works best if he has no idea it’s coming (pun intended).

Remind him of your rules and tell him that you expect him to obey. Do not let him off the hook.

9.) Wax play - Super fun and really sexy! You can totally use normal candles. But to be on the safe side I recommend to use BDSM or massage candles. They have a low melting point. But they still got a sting!

Below is a punishment scene which is one of my favourites for play!

Get a candle and have him lay flat on his stomach.Take the candle and put it in his ass.

Whisper in his ear ‘’Do you like fire?’’Then light the candle!

Take a step back and just look at how sexy this is!!! A candle sticking out of his ass, with the flame on top! Ooh my god!

While the candle is burning take your whip and run it over his Body. Over his back, over his arm, over his ass… wait until you see the candle start to melt.

While you wait ask him ‘’Are you gonna be a good slave for me?’’Squat in front of his face.‘’You see this pussy? This pussy deserves to be worshipped’’‘’How much do you want to worship my pussy?’’

Lift his head up and stare him right in his eyes.Place your whip in his mouth and order him to not drop it.

Then take the candle out of his ass.And start to pour it all over his body.

Drip it on his ass and back.Take your time and drip it sloow.Try writing your name on his back with the dripping wax.

Wait for the wax to become stale.Then grab you whip from his mouth.

Ask him if he is ready for his punishment.

Then whip the wax off his body.When every bit of wax is gone you are done!

After this continue your scene however you want.

10.) A devastating Handjob - A great hand job scene is perfect when you don’t want sex. To make the hand jobs a little more fun here are some great techniques to use!

A.) Over the top : Start by stroking him up and down with your hand as you normally would.

While stroking him up and down, rub your thumb over the back of the head of his penis.

So your hand is stroking him normally while your thumb is focusing only on pleasuring the top of his penis. Simple.

This is the most sensitive spot on his penis. Watch him squirm with pleasure.

B.) Over the top double handed : Same as before one hand will jerk him normally but the other hand focuses on the head of his dick.

Get creative with the hand pleasuring his dick head. For example

With fingers loose, run the tips of them over the head and then back again.

Use the tip of one finger to make small circles around the tip of his penis

C.) The Escalator - Use a lot of lube for this one.

To start take your right hand and stroke him from the top to the bottom.When you reach the bottom let go of his penis and do the same movement with your left hand. Start from the top and go to bottom then remove your hand.

Now continue doing this, left, right, left, right.He will experience a never ending sensation!

D.) The Twist : Lube again!

Grab the bottom part of his dick with one hand and grab the top part of his penis with your other hand so that both hands are holding it. Don’t worry if your bottom hand is holding most of his penis and his second hand doesn’t have much to hold.

Without applying much pressure, rotate one hand in a clockwise direction around his penis while rotating your other hand in an anti-clockwise direction.

When you can’t turn your hand any more, change direction and rotate each hand as far as possible in the opposite direction.

This sounds like quite a slow process, but it is much more pleasurable the faster you do it.

E.) The Ring : This is super simple.

You just need to make an ‘O’ shape by touching the tip of your index finger to your thumb.

Then instead of wrapping your whole hand around your man’s shaft, use only the ‘O’ and then stroke him up and down with it.

Make him beg for you to use your entire hand!

F.) Palming - Rub the palm of you hand over his head. Do it slow and fast. This is great as post orgasm torture.

G.) Milking & Sucking - An awesome way to suck your man’s balls while giving him a hand job.

Have him on all four and stand behind him. Pull his dick down so it faces the floor and jerk him off.

In this position, his balls will also be exposed, so it’s perfect for sucking him. Take his balls in your mouth while using your hand to jerk him off.His ass is also totally exposed for you to play with!

Get Dildo or buttplug and go wild!

P.s Remember Lube make all these more fun and take it slooooowwwwww. The longer you take the more desperate he will become.

11.) Jerk off instructions (JOI) - Give him instructions for how to jerk off.Tell him when to start how fast to go, when to stop, how deep to stroke and so on.Enjoy the show or do it over the phone.

if you want to assert your dominance have him taste or swallow his cum when he’s finished.

This is an entire category of porn so you can get some tips from JOI videos online.

12.) Up all night to get lucky - A fun dice game.

Roll a dice. The sub does not get to see what the score is. The score determines the result of the evening for the sub.

If you score 1 - Bad luck for the him. After you orgasms, all play stops. No pleasure for the him.

2,3 or 4 - Get him to the edge. When he’s about to cum, he must beg you to stop. The score he got determines how many times he will edge before play stops. No cumming for him.

5 - After 4 edges, continue but instead of a fifth edge, Bring him to orgasm - But ruin it.

6 - After 5 edges, continue but instead of a sixth edge, Give him a full orgasm.

13.) Goddess Day - Make an entire scene about you and explore more of worshiping.Here are some examples of things he can do for you.

Run a bathtub and bring chocolate and strawberriesMassage your entire body Head to toes.Paint your toe nails.Cook your favourite dinner.Bring you to orgasm with no return favour.

14.) Edging - Tonight is going to be all about stamina and will power. Before he is allowed to cum have him edge at least 15 times!

Each time he edges he must say why he deserves to cum, how much he worships you, and what he would do if he was allowed to cum.

And remember this is still about you. So obviously he can not expect to get to cum until he has satisfied your every need.

Don’t tell him in advance how many times he must edge for you. And before giving him that sweet release make him beg for it!

A fun thing to do is to play with his answers as he gets more and more desperate to cum.

He might say ‘’i’ll do anything if you let me cum!’’

Answer him ‘’like what?’’

See what he says. Make him do what ever he offers you. ;)

15.) Riming - Something I love is a good rim job.I love to get a rim job right after I step out of the shower. I turn on my favourite series on Netflix or catch up on my text messages and have him just massaging my anus with his tongue.

Here area few Ass worship positions to try out:

a.) The ‘Sandwich’: Start by lying on your stomach with the ass facing upward. Your sub will now eat you out while you watch your phone or just relax. Don’t forget to grab you subs hair push him into your ass to show him who is in charge.

b.) Back to the Wall: Your sub is gonna sit on the floor with their back to a wall. You stand Infront of him and tease him with your ass.This is great if he has his hands tied behind his back.Also great as a tease starter for a scene.

Tell him to stick his tongue out for you!And the tease him.

C.) The Chair: Another way of enjoying ass worship is for you to sit on a chair with your ass hanging off the side. Then have your sub get on his knees behind you and eat you out.

16.) Pinhead- If you don’t have a Pinwheel you should totally get one!here is a super fun way to use them in a scene.

Tie him to a chair with his hands behind his back, blindfold and ball gag him.Then start to roll the pinwheel over his body.

Go harder and softer all over his body.

‘’Are you going to be a good boy for me?’’

Start to roll the pinwheel over his dick head.Use different amount of pressure on his dick.

Now you are going to alternate teasing his dick with your mouth.and rolling the pinwheel all over his penis.

See how long he will last until he begs you to stop.

Place the pinwheel in the fridge before you start to play. The cold will make it seem much sharper than it actually is.

You can do this with a steel butter knife to make it seem like a super sharp object too.

17.) Make them Shine! - Another Dom worship scene!For this scene you need some knee high boots or High heels!

Sit in front of your sub and ask him if he thinks he can lick you to an orgasm?Well you don’t think so.. why don’t he prove it!

Tell him to lick your boots, and make them shiny.While he is doing this you’re in perfect position to spank his ass with a whip. Or to mastrubate infront of him.Tell him to hurry up and impress you.Otherwise you will cum and he will not be allowed to taste you!

This can also be a perfect opportunity to lay out the rules for your scene.

If he even comes near to kiss your leg.Spank him hard and tell him he has not earned to kiss your legs yet!

When you are satisfied with the job.

Put your legs on his shoulders and push him towards your pussy.and have him lick you to an orgasm. Then continue your scene with whatever your want.

BONUS: When you are done with your scene give him an option.

He is allowed to cum. BUT only on you shoes. And he has to lick them clean. And you want them fucking shining!

See what he chooses. ;)

18.) When I’m back - Go run an errand or have a girls night out.but tell your sub that when you come back you want him to be:

Shaved, naked, wearing your favourite leash, on his knees with a big butt plug in his ass and your favourite whip in his hands and he should be waiting for you by the door.

Don’t tell him when exactly you will be back.This will keep him on his toes for when you come home.

When you do come home, inspect your sub and then start your scene.

Or you can inspect your sub when you come home. But not start a scene! Just say ‘’Good job, now get dressed”

19.) Hurry up! - Have him perform a task for you like oral, a massage or a rim job. When you are satisfied tell him he is going to be rewarded.

Set a timer for maybe 3 minutes. In this time he has to cum.you can make it as hard or as easy as you like.Wanna make it hard?

He is not allowed to touch his dick with his hand.

Wanna have some fun? Place a Fleshlight on the floor and see him struggle to get his dick inside it as it slides around on the floor!

Spank him while he is trying to cum!

If he fails, tell him you’re disappointed and that you wanted to see him to cum. Ask him if he is sorry and then punish him with 30 spanks.

While you spank him play with his dick and have him tell you why he should deserve to cum.

20.) Double penetration - This is one is one of my absolute favourites. For this I recommend to get a Dildo with a suction cup.

Tell him he is going to earn to fuck you.Then place a dildo on the floor and tie his hands behind his back. Have him ride the Dildo. While he is riding the dildo he is going to perform oral on you. if he ever looses pace or he cant please you to your standards spank him with your whip.

Now turn up the heat even more! When you are satisfied untie his hands and tell him to lean back While keeping the dildo in his ass. His hands should be touching the floor.

Then start to ride him, and ride him hard, fuck his brains out.Every time you bounce he will ride the Dildo.Double Penetration Femdom Style!

This is so so hot I love this one.

21.) Set the Scene - Have him set the scene. Give him instructions on what you will need for the scene and how you want it set up. Bed restrains, dildos, buttplugs you name it.

Obviously don’t say what you will actually do. You should also have him place out things that you won’t actually use. For example have him place out the largest dildo you have, or that one whip that he don’t like. have him place out a pegging kit. Who said anything about using it right?

22.) Ruined Orgasm - Another technique that I love! Can be used alone or in conjunction with edging. At the moment he reaches orgasm, stop touching him completely. Don't let him touch it anymore either. Just let his orgasm happen with no extra help.

This is also a great compromise. I love to see cum squirt from my BFs dick. But what if he hasn’t earned a full orgasm? Why should I suffer for that? Ruin his orgasm, you get to enjoy a show and he will try even harder next time you play!

The great thing with this technique is that you can make him come several times! Just wait 10-15 second and the start again.

23.) Everyday I’m bossing him - Get a remote controlled toy and place it in his ass.

Now whenever you need something give him a buzz.

Want a cup of coffee - Buzz

Want lunch? - Buzz

Want Some attention? - Buzz

Its Perfect why did I come up with this now!

24.) How many times can you cum - Tie him up and see how many times he bears to cum before begging you to stop. Remember you must always ruin his orgasm so he can continue. And remember to wait maybe 10 -15 second before you start jerking him off again. The last time you make him cum give him a full orgasm and enjoy the show or cum flying everywhere!

My personal record is 6 cumshots.See if you can beat that. ;)

25.) The Adventure - In this game your sub will have to answer questions that he have not heard. He can only answer ‘’Yes’’ or ‘’No’’. Depending on his answer your scene will look different.

Start by just having him say Yes or no and then have fun.

a.) I will give Miss a full massage

b.) I will wear a buttplug for the entire scene

c.) I will give miss Oral

d.)I will not be allowed to look miss in the eyes

e.) Miss will allow me to fuck her

f.) Miss will use a dildo in my ass

g.) Miss will Spank me 25 times

h.) I will be tied up

I.) I will be wearing a ballgag

J.) I will only be allowed to ruin my orgasm

You can make your own questions but this is a start.

26.) RimShot - Make him cum on your anus and have him lick it up.

You can use this as a setup while you’re in a scene!

‘’Do you wanna cum baby?’’‘’But you don’t deserve to cum.’’‘’Ill let you cum but you have to clean it up with your mouth, okay’’

When he says yes.

‘’Good! Cum on my ass, and lick up.’’

Just before he is about to cum tell him to ruin it!

“Ruin you orgasm!”

Super sexy and super kinky!

27.) Put on a show for me - This is a power scene.Start by pouring yourself a glass of champagne or whine. Then place some toys on the floor.

It can be anything ex. a Dildo, Fleshlight, a penis pump and lube.

You can also place non sexual things like panties, fruit, chocolate or whipped cream.

Tell him that you want to be entertained and if he does a good job he will be rewarded.

Then set a timer and enjoy the show.Don’t be afraid to give out orders like.

The key here is to really enjoy yourself. Play music, give orders, take the bottle of champagne and pour it in his mouth.

Orders can be things like ‘’Fuck your ass faster!’’ Or “Pump it more! I want to see you dick explode!”

Sit back with a whip and just enjoy the show.I always gets such a power rush from this.

Enjoy the show!

28.) Your not worthy - Has he not deserved your wonderful pussy? Or maybe he does but you don’t feel like having sex?

The great thing with Fleshlights are that they are much easier to use for teasing than you pussy. You can tease him with just the tip of his dick before pushing it all the way in.

Tie him up and blindfold him and tease him the Fleshlight. Make him beg for you to use the full fleshlight!

Bonus: don’t forget that these are great for post orgasm torture as well!

29.) Question Time - How well does your sub know you? create a quiz with questions about you and your desires. If he really worships his goddess he should know everything about her right?

For every wrong answer spank him or ruin his orgasm. Or for every answer he has wrong no orgasm for that amount of days.

A fun Twist to this is to not tell him the answers he got correct or wrong. Just tell him the total score i.e 11/20. This will mean that he has to study everything about you not knowing where to start. This is a great way to keep him always interested in your conversations.

30.) Be careful what you wish for - Post orgasm torture is when you just continue to fuck, jerk or blow a dick that already has cummed. This result in overstimulation which is described as a very strong tickeling feeling and eventually another orgasm.

When your sub begs you to let him cum. Continue to jerk him off after he has cummed. He will have a hard time controlling him self from over stimulation.

Whisper in his ear ‘’I thought you wanted to cum’’. So so HOT!!

31.) Your body is a wonderland - Set a timer and promise him that if he can worship your body to your satisfaction before the time ends you will reward him! He can satisfy you in any way he likes but not touch your pussy. If you think he does a good enough job reward him if not, don’t.

However remember that a reward can be both small and big!Some might consider unlimited access your body a reward in it self. So you can give him a kiss and call that, a reward and next time give him a blowjob. This will ensure always does his best and never knows what to receive.

32.) Close the gap - This one is designed to help you with a sub who mastrubates too much or has been allowed to cum more than you.

Tell him that he will not be allowed to cum until he has made you cum x amount of times.

you can set a high number that will span several sessions.or you can set a low number that possible to get too but only if he concentrate.

I usually say 3 - 4 orgasm rewards him with 1.

If your sub is mastrubating and has not been following your rules. Put a chastity cage on his dick. Only allow him not to wear it when he has learned not to cum without your permission.

33.) Snowball - Deny your sub’s orgasm for an entire week. Then tie him up and reward him with a nice blowjob, or if you want to make him do the work just catch it with your mouth as he jerks off.Then Slowly, very slowly, work your way up his body and give him a big kiss. The longer it takes you to touch his lips, the more his libedo will have subsided. Once your lips connect, push his cum into his mouth. Let him feel the amount of the seed he has been saving for the entire week.

When it’s in his mouth look him deep in his eyes and say.

‘’Be a good bitch for me and swallow it baby.’’

34.) Oral - Tell him that he is going to make you cum from oral tonight.But you want an experience!

He is to make you cum with his mouth in a new and unique way.He should impress you with his new skills!

Before tonight he should have studied new techniques and positions. And be prepared to take you to heaven.

If he cant impress, he will be punished!

35.) The Blowjob - Has your sub been super good and you want to reward him. This scene is for you!

Start by tying him up to a chair. Make sure that it’s really tight so that he can’t move. I recommend using BDSM Tape since it makes this much easier and faster.

Blindfold him and Start to tease him.Walk around the chair so he don’t know exactly where you are.

Whisper in his ear and touch him from behind.Tease your way toward his dick.Take you time.

Then when he can’t wait any longer start to give him a devastating blowjob!

Really a hot scene and adds a bit of Femdom into a blowjob!

Bonus: Take a zip champagne or sparkling candy before you suck his dick, the bubbles with give a crazy sensation for him.

36.) Hug the wall - Have him hold a pennies to a wall with his nose and fingers.He going to hold one penny with each of his fingers and one with his nose.

you can use this as a position while you spank him. Tell him that for every penny he drops will add 10 more spanks.

P.s If you have a Cock leash you can pull on it as you make your last hit! That will lead him to drop all of the pennies.

I know I’m a bitch. ;)

37.) Locked Away - This is a Chasity idea that can last however long you want.

Place your sub in a chastity cage but lock him up with a combination lock.

Now make him earn each digit one by one!

This can span how ever long you want.for example, If its a 4 digit lock make a system that if he is good each week.

He gets 1 digit every week for one month.

38.) Let's go! - This is a setup scene which can help you initiate play. Prepare the scene that you want to do. But make sure your sub have no idea that you are planing something.

Then get a ball gag and sneak up behind him.from behind place the ball gag in his mouth and whisper him to kneel but not look at you.

Tell him to strip naked, then place a collar and a leash on him.Tell him that he will crawl to the bed room.

When he enters the room kick the door shut and start your scene.

39.) The O Race - Challenge your sub to a masturbation race.

You can of course cheat. Like warm up before you initiate the race so you are already quite close even before you start. Or just fake your orgasm. If he asked how you could cum so quick. Tell him that this is your favourite vibrator for a reason. ;)

Spice it up with a punishment for losing.

Here are some ideas.

No cuming for 5 days.He gets to cum but he has to ruin it and swallow it.PeggingSpankingMassage and body worship for you.

40.) Locktober and No Nut November - If you want to see how far you can take the no cumming idea. Try the challenge of a month of play but No cumming! For him that is. Locktober is as the name suggests about Chasity. But if you’re not into that November might be more your thing.

The point of these months is that nothing should change for you. If you want to have sex, have sex, If you want to play with his dick do, if you want to cum from oral do. Just remember no cuming for him.

Honestly this as hard for me as it is for him. Something that I like to remind him of after 24 days of teasing. And btw you can do this in July or mars as well. That way he have had some practise before locktober or no nut November.

41.) Not tonight - Have a full scene were you don’t touch his dick.There are plenty of things that does not involve his dick.

Remember that Femdom is all about you!There are several thing you can do that does not involve his dick.

Oralhave him fuck you with a strap onMassage for youPeggingSpankingTeasing

42.) The most evil Scene ever - So your sub is in chastity.and you want to be a bitch? Well this is your scene!

In the morning whispering in his ear.

“I want your cock and hot cum in my mouth tonight”

He is going to get super hyped about being allowed to cum.

When the night comes and it’s time for his blowjob.

Start to tease him with your mouth and with dirty talk. Then start to suck his dick BUT don’t remove the chastity cage.

If he can cum from this great. But if he can’t then stop say your disappointed. And that you wanted his hot cum.

Then Start to rub your Pussy on his chastity cage.Rub it all over and say how much you want his dick.

Then Start to rub you pussy with your hands.

When you start to get close say.

‘’Baby, I wanted us to cum together!’’

43.) Concentrate! - Get into a 69 position and have him pleasure you with whatever you like oral, toys, fingers you’re the boss.

While he is doing this give him a blowjob. Start very very very slow maybe just breath on it. Or have it in your mouth but not sucking on it. but with time intensify.

If at any point the quality of the pleasure you get drops.

Stop blowing him and tell him that he clearly can’t handle your amazing blowjob. So you will stop so he can focus better on you.

Only when you feel like giving him more start again. But when you do. Start again agonizingly sloooww.

44.) A Week of Femdom - Most couples are actually switches. Which means sometimes you Dom and sometimes he Dom. It’s quite rare that people have a 24/7 Femdom sex life.

But try it out! Have a week of Femdom. You don’t have to have sex every day. There are many scenes that are non-sexual. For example have him treat you to a Spa-night at home, or have him make you a five star dinner complete with a menu. The sky is the limit.

But make sure that he knows who is boss for this week!

45.) Make it happen - Tell your sub that he can cum but only if he can do it without using his hands… if he fails no cuming this session.

Don’t forget to set a timer.

you can decide if sex with you is an options. if it is don't tell him. see if he can figure that out. Then when he fails to cum. Tease him and ask why he didn't try to fuck your sweet sweet pussy. That was a lost opportunity that rarely comes. ;)

46.) Dinner With A Dildo - When you get a chance, why not surprise your sub with dinner? I know you want to make it special, so when he walks in the door greet him wearing something sexy and then ask him to strip before he comes any closer.

On his chair have a dildo and lube ready for him. He must sit in the seat, and on the dildo for the whole meal.

47.) Amazon positions - Amazon positions is where the woman is thrusting instead of the man. This is a great way of showing him who’s boss.

You can start with simple ones like reversed missionary before you graduate to more advanced positions. There’s even a position called the amazon position which is amazing but quite hard to perform.

Twist to this is if you have a sex swing instead of you being in it. Have him be in it and fuck him. A great resource for positions are kinkly and cosmopolitan. They offer female on top positions, regular positions and pegging positions.

https://www.kinkly.com/sex-positionshttps://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/

These can be used to create a scene.Control how much pleasure he gets, Tease him, go slow, go suuupper slow. Or fuck his brains out your choice.

48.) Try to Cum - Place your sub in a chastity cage and put a strong vibrator on it like Wand vibrator. Tell him that he is allowed to cum. IF he can to do it!

Now enjoy the show of matching him finger his ass, hump a pillow, try to mastrubate all while still in the cage!

Super evil and very fun!

49.) Not Your Dick - Have him wear a strap on and tell him to fuck you good! Why should you have to suffer not having a good fuck just because he hasn’t earned a place inside his Goddess?

Imagine his poor agony at doing all the work and not even being able to touch you in the way he wants.If he cant pleasure you in the way you expect, punish him.

An idea for punishment if he cant fuck you like you want is to stop him.Grab his face look him straight in his eyes and say.

‘’Since you can’t fuck me like a good boy. I’m going to fuck you until you”

Then tell him to remove the pegging kit.Put it on, Lube up and fuck him!

While you fuck him ask him!

‘’Are you going to do a better job next time?’’

50.) You better be quick- Lock your sub up with his hands behind his back. Then have him undress you with only his teeth.the catch is that he has to be quick because you’ve set a timer!

If he can do it before the timer. He gets to cum at the end of the scene.

I love to do this if we're in the middle of a month without cuming. I tell him that if he can do it before the time runs out. I’ll let him fuck me anyway he wants and cum!

I’m in a femdom relationship and my boyfriend really enjoys being told what to do. He also enjoys skipping meals and staying up too late.

So I’ve been giving him a bed time and food requirements as well as a shaving/grooming routine

His new kink shall be self care

My wife invited some of the girls over for a “Girl’s Night” which is basically them sitting around the table drinking together. My wife usually has me on stand-by as I watch tv in the other room since I am a rather good mixologist and I make drinks for the girls as they need them.

Well a few hours into the night and the women have definitely “loosened up” and I can hear the conversation turned to berating their husbands. Saying they’re useless, etc.

My wife chimed in that she doesn’t have that problem. In her words, she “snaps her fingers and the house gets done”. The girls giggled along and asked if I do the vacuuming, laundry, etc. And my wife replied I do it all and she doesn’t even know where we keep the vacuum anymore, which of course brought about more giggles.

The other women proceeded to compliment her on how well the house looks and how jealous they are because they can’t get their husband to lift a finger to help and that my wife “did such good job training me”.

One particularly buzzed friend said she would give her husband a blowjob if she ever in a million years saw him fold laundry. My wife says it’s the opposite in our house where I do chores and then I get on my knees as she sits back and accepts “her reward”. The girls got rowdy with that comment with disbelief but she explained how much I love giving her oral and she can’t keep my tongue out of there.

The little comments about how well trained I am, them knowing I’m basically my wife’s bitch, them talking about how slutty I am for her, just all of it was so humiliating and sweet at the same time. I was beat red when I was called to make the next batch of margaritas.

The night ended with the girls getting ubers home, and my wife relaxing on the couch while I cleaned up after them. Cleaning up after her and her friends is VERY triggery for me, so once everything was in good shape I made sure to go over to her and make sure she collected her “reward” lol

Today marked 3 months since my little slut’s last orgasm. He is always able to leak from pegging but has trouble getting over that edge.

Today I gave him a little surprise. Before our session I gave him an entire makeover. Really turned him into a slut for me. Our best lingerie. A proper manicure and pedicure. Makeup that even made me a little bit jealous. Just a few pecks on the cheek and forehead and I could see that he was already leaking that little slut.

But of course he knows better. Before his turn comes he has to serve me!

It was such an amazing experience. It really felt like I was in bed with another girl except for the chastity cage brushing me here and there. Passionate kissing and oral, he’s just really learned how to touch me in all the right spots. We finished up with him fucking me with our strap on before it was finally his turn. Little did he know I had a surprise in store.

Now he knows that our deal was that if he doesn’t manage to have his cute sissygasms once every 3 months from just anal then I will allow him a ruined “orgasm” through a vibrator on his balls but there was no way I was going to let my slut off that easy!

After pegging him for maybe 10 minutes I told him that I actually was a bit tired. He so cutely asked if that meant we could get out the vibrator but I told him I had another idea. I wanted to watch him fuck himself for me while moaning my name. I told him I wanted to see him finally cum. He was a bit hesitant but agreed. That’s when I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and told him that I wanted it all on film for us to watch together later. Now we had made videos before together but never anything with just him so of course he was getting a bit of stage fright but ultimately he agreed!

It was so fun being a director and calling him names while watching him fuck himself while calling out my name. After maybe 30 minutes of me laughing my ass off he finally after 3 whole months managed to cum! I had never seen him shake that way before it was honestly hilarious the noises he made before collapsing on the bed.

I reminded him he wasn’t done yet and had to lick up his mess and got it all on camera.

After a little bit of cleaning up and after care we snuggled back in bed and watched the video together and I told him how fucking hot it was.

He told me that he wishes we could do that everytime because of how pretty he felt being dressed up and getting a make over. I told him we won’t be doing it everytime but it would defined be happening again.

He said he trusted me before cuddling into me and falling asleep. It was honestly so adorable.

I think permanent chastity is the best thing to happen in our lives! Can not wait to see where this adventure takes us!

It’s absolutely revolting but yet absolutely pervasive.

You like a guy. You tell your friend.

“Oh, but he hasn’t asked you out? Well, it must mean he doesn’t like you. Don’t ask him out, you’ll seem desperate.”

Desperate for what? Attention, love, whatever? No, it’s all a ploy to take power away from the woman. And it’s so toxic and I swear, every time I tell somebody I like a man, or think he’s cute, that’s what they tell me. Wait and smile and he’ll come over to you.

And sometimes I’ll ask out a guy and he’ll be so baffled. He’ll be concerned about being emasculated. He’ll be upset I’m taking the lead and tipped the scale of power in my favor. All people around us, my friends, his friends, will go insane! How could she! What a desperate psycho!

If you agree with the double standard, WOW, please don’t comment.

For femdommes who have overcome the double standard, what is your experience, any advice for us all?

Somebody just said this to me last night, I think a man interested in me (though I think he’s hiding it), a friend of an ex, started talking to me about the ex, how he felt this way and that, and how I had no right basically to continue to be interested, because my role was to be pursued.

Such hogwash.

Thanks for letting me rant. Blessed be.

Ok before you laugh at me because of the title, let me explain🧍🏻‍♀️

I’ve always been drawn to the idea of controlling what my submissive masturbates to. In that context, i could both reward or punish him with my choice.

Quite often, i’ve enjoyed to have my “100% straight” slaves masturbate to gay porn ( or penises in general ).

However, i’ve also found joy in ordering them to pleasure themselves to non-pornographic pictures of inanimate objects ( cardboard boxes, trains or, in this case, lettuce ).

Something about the desperation to arouse themselves with no visual stimulation is incredibly hot.

If you still wanna call me crazy, that’s fine though. But i like ittttttt🐥

You're beautiful, worth time, and capable of learning how to be a monster of a woman.

How do I know this? Because you're smart enough to know you're a noob. You care enough to pay attention when someone offers advice for noobs. AND you're curious enough to do it on Reddit where you can get feedback and ask questions.

Being a Dominatrix is a lot like learning to play an instrument. Here, you're learning how to play the human nervous system. It takes practice, study, discipline, and patience. The boots you look to lace up have controlled the world since the Spartan Heiresses. You're dealing with some spicy peppers here.

You have the capacity to completely restructure the mind of someone you may care for, and that sounds like a lot of room to fuck up. But you're going to be ok and so are they. Don't panic. Just play safe and everything will be dandy.

You're going to suck. Your whip accuracy will dismay storm troopers. Your dirty talk will sound like The Godfather played by Mr. Rogers. You'll feel fat and stupid and worthless and like you'll never get anything right. You'll fuck up over and over again and you may cry yourself to sleep some nights because you hate feeling so fucking stupid.

Relax. It's ok. Just keep practicing. Let your partner know they need to be involved, supportive, and enthusiastic. Let them know you're learning and struggling. Let them know that you're not perfect. Yet. They have fantasies and so do you. They can feel honored that you're allowing them to be your crash test dummy.

You got this. You can be proud to be a manhandler. You got everything you need. Don't give up. If your partner is still down to play, get in there. You're beautiful and I believe in you.

THERE'S SO MUCH FUN TO BE HAD!

So yesterday I (F 22) was doing a scene with my (M 22) sub, he was eating out of a bowl on the floor and I was standing next to him. I kick his bowl to make him eat out of the floor, and I tell him something that goes like ‘oh what a mess, you’ll have to clean it up’

This bitch managed to get up on his feet while tied, take the vacuum and fucking clean the floor. I was both amazed and furious by his audacity. And then he also added ‘wasn’t this what you wanted?’

So yes, lesson learned, choose your words wisely.

Decided to help myself to some of MY fries last night and he gave me the filthiest look while I just stared him right back down with the biggest shit eating grin on my face, daring him to say something.

Thank you SO much for everyone’s insights and advice on my previous post. I wanted to provide an update since this forum provided me with so much help with understanding this.

Last night, I talked with my bf more about exactly what he wanted and we discussed our limits. He was pretty shy about it, but we both agreed to take it slowly and see how it goes.

After work today, I hit Victoria’s Secret on my way home and opted to just get him the 5/$30 panties since I wasn’t sure about his size and didn’t want to break the bank. Based on everyone’s advice and his input, I got him a hot pink cotton thong, a soft purple lace thong, a red lace trimmed bikini, a soft blue cheeky panty (which was super soft), and a granny panty style that was pink and had a daisy on the front. I ended up getting two thongs because he’s always complimenting mine and the night before he said he’d like to try one.

When I got home, I put the bag on the bed, so that’d it’d be the first thing he saw when he walked in. It was bright pink, so I figured taking everything out of the bag could be fun/humiliating for him.

Now that COVID restrictions are letting up, he usually goes to the gym after work, showers there, and I usually have dinner ready. Tonight though, I greeted him at the door in one his favorite lingerie sets. When he walked in his jaw dropped and I told him I had a surprise. I walked behind him, put my hands over his eyes, and walked him to our bedroom. Once we got in, he saw the Victoria’s Secret bag and immediately realized what was going on. His heart was legitimately pounding through his chest when I told him I bought panties just for him and that I wanted him to pick his favorite and try them on. His hands were SHAKING as he ruffled through the bag holding the different things I picked out for him. He ended up picking the hot pink thong and was fully erect before even bringing it up his legs. It took some coercion, so thank you all for your tips on that.

It was kind of funny seeing him in a hot pink thong (he’s a pretty muscular guy that’s about 6-2), but I was pretty turned on by how aroused he was. Next, I had him go down on me in bed while I teased him about how much he’s going to love wearing panties and how I couldn’t wait to take him shopping for more. I opted not to call him a sissy or take any pictures because I didn’t want to take it to fast. As for the oral-it was AMAZING. I could tell he wanted to do a great job and I was so turned on about being in charge for once.

After I quickly finished, I pulled him up to the top of the bed, pulled out one of the softer panties I bought, and gave him a quick HJ while I talked about how girly he looked in his hot pink thong. He came in SECONDS and SO much. It was such a turn-on.

Afterwards, we talked about it and he seemed very happy and appreciative. He was definitely a little bit ashamed, but I tried to assure him that I enjoyed myself and would be happy to explore more of his kink.

Thank you, again, to everyone that reached out. I think I have a ton of ideas to pitch him for our next session. Happy to hear more if you all have any. Cheers!

I know it isn't rational. I know it isn't fair. I know I shouldn't take out my pent up anger on a community that is often just people trying to live out their kinks the same way we're all living out ours. But I just need to vent right now.

My (F28) sub (M27) is a cis "femboy", and he's the first man I've ever been with who identifies this way. He's a man, but he enjoys presenting as feminine, and it's really awakened me to how much I love this kind of androgyny in men. Most of the time, he gets called "ma'am" when approached by strangers in public, and I'm floored by how well he can pull off his femininity (especially without hormones or any medical changes) and the effort he puts into maintaining it. As a domme, I want to embrace his femininity and all it's done in helping me explore my sexuality. I want to celebrate it.

But lo and behold: whenever I post about our relationship on socials, or go to events, or interact with basically anyone whatsoever, sissies will always, ALWAYS come out of the woodwork about how I should use his femininity to degrade him. Sometimes I do incorporate his femininity into our roleplays, but it's usually based off of how patriarchy puts him in danger because of how feminine-presenting people are treated in general (such as how other men could easily beat him up if they wanted to). The idea is NOT that he should feel degraded or humiliated just because he's a feminine man!

I recently wanted to celebrate his femininity by painting his chastity cage pink. I posted pics of it on socials and -- even though I emphasized a million times that he's NOT a "sissy", every single comment was something like "MAKE THAT SISSY BITCH SUCK BIG BLACK DICK IN A PINK DRESS AND CALL HIM A FGGOT AND SHOW HIM WHAT A REAL MAN IS LOL, SISSY FGGOT FG FG F*G". Every single time, and I mean EVERY time I've asked for ideas online or in real life (except on this sub), at least half of all responses will involve me "forcing" him to crossdress and "forcing" him to wear make-up when he already does it voluntarily. They'll see his chastity cage and call his dick a "locked up little clit", even though I fucking love dicks and would never want to view his genitalia as a "clit", and he wouldn't either. And lord have fucking mercy, the homphobia. The RAMPTANT homophobia. My sub is straight and only likes women. He has no, no, NO interest in doing anything sexual with a man, including being cuckolded by one. Yet no matter how many times I say this, sissies ALWAYS ask me if I've made him suck another man's dick (usually a black man's dick) or if I've cucked him with a bull.

Why is it seemingly so hard for "sissies" to realize that a man can just enjoy being feminine and submissive at the same time without thinking he's a misogynistic prick? Why is it so hard to understand a domme can enjoy this without also being interested in their homophobic, racist subculture? It's just incredibly hard to read these comments about my sub every time I try discussing our dynamic anywhere, and it's hard to not get extremely defensive towards him when I see sissies just view his entire existence as a giant humiliation kink. I enjoy degrading and humiliating him too, but linking his whole lifestyle and identity as a femboy as something being degrading default is so upsetting to me, and when it's online, it's ALWAYS some shmuck with a ridiculous "female" name in their handle (like "Little Princess Baby Doll Sissy Slut Angelica"), and some over-the-top pink lacy shit as their profile pic. I'm so, so, SO tired of them.

So in the last 10 months my boyfriend has only had ruined orgasms, infrequently at that. Last month we agreed to make his chastity permanent. We have been focusing mainly on prostate orgasms for him with absolutely nothing on his cage. If he doesn’t orgasm for 3 months from pegging then I’ll use a vibrator on his cage.

Well last night marked 2 months since his last orgasm. He was leaking heavily from the pegging but wasn’t quite able to reach the end. After we cleaned up and were cuddling he asked me to unlock him. I told him that I thought we had made his denial permanent just last month. He said he knew but he couldn’t take it anymore with my teasing him constantly. I told him to beg me and it was honestly adorable.

I’ve never felt as powerful as I did last night with him begging me for something that I get essentially whenever I want.

After maybe 5 minutes of begging I told him that as cute as he was, I didn’t think that it was fair for me to unlock him after what we agreed on. I could tell he was frustrated so I gave him a kiss and told him that it’s better this way. Plus he’s the one who asked to only be allowed to cum in his cage. He’s just going to have to work harder to orgasm during pegging.

We chatted a bit more for the night so I’ll save you the dirty talk but the funniest part of all this? This morning he cooked me breakfast and apologized for asking to be unlocked last night and having put me in that position. I couldn’t help but smile.

We have a safe word in place for in case he ever changes his mind where he can get unlocked after 1 month of using the safe word but we both agreed that even if he ever does use it he will never be allowed inside me again except with a strap on. I think with knowing this he realizes there is no point to really being unlocked. Just temporary weakness that he needs me to moderate🥰

Thanks to everyone that helped us get to this point!

Edit: soooooo lots of concerned comments which is kinda my fault

I didn’t want to blab on and since I’ve already talked about it before didn’t think it was relevant

But anyway let me give you guys some more info about our relationship

1. He has access to his own key. It’s behind a plastic numbered lock so I will know if he accesses it but he is allowed to access it at any point if he wants.

2. We have 2 safeword systems, neither of which were implemented last night. The first one is for play, red/yellow. And the second one is for chastity.

3. Before we embarked on permanent chastity, we had multiple talks about it. We both discussed how we would go about it together and what safeties we should have in place. One of them being the chastity safe word and cool down period. We chose the 30 day cool down period together. During which he would still be locked in chastity but with absolutely no play. During this he would still have access to his own key.

4. The whole not being inside me again thing is a kink we both share. As I have said before, if we were to have a serious talk in the future where he told me that it’s not something he was comfortable with anymore and that he needed that level of intimacy and was no longer into the kinks he is currently into... then of course we would re-evaluate from there.

5. Maybe this wasn’t clear but he was asking me to unlock him in order to have a full orgasm which he hasn’t had in almost a year. One of our agreements for chastity was that he was only allowed to have ruined orgasms going forward. This was something he specifically requested.

I understand a lot of this stuff wasn’t clear at all from the post but I just wanted to clarify that I’m not forcing anything on him. We are in this together and I understand my responsibilities to him.

More than happy to clarify anything else for those still concerned.

This is mostly directed at the men, but everyone should listen.

Listen, subs, we all know why you're around, you're looking for a domme, you want to get off, maybe you're genuinely here for discussion because you're locked up in a relationship (good for you). Blah blah blah, I'm not talking about competition, or how to advertise yourselves, or anything like that.

I AM TALKING ABOUT YOUR TREATMENT OF DOMMES AFTER YOU FINISH

YOU TREAT US LIKE FUCKING GARBAGE.

Before you say "oh, no, I'm a good little subby! I don't do this!!!!" No you're not, shut up, you are part of the problem. Almost all of you are part of the problem. If you talk to a domme and immediately ditch her when you finish, you suck as a person. And y'know what? That's most of you! That's like 99% of subs! Do better, learn some fucking respect.

IT FUCKING HURTS TO BE DROPPED AS SOON AS YOU GET YOUR DICK BACK IN YOUR PANTS

Dommes are human people with feelings, being used (because that's what you do) HURTS. It is PAINFUL to think "oh, this guy is cute/hot/fun, maybe he'll stick around" and then THE SECOND you bust your nut, you're gone! It is absolutely devastating to be told again and again that we are only valued when your hand is in your pants.

So my advice, before you go messaging a domme to tiddle your fantasy: Jerk off, finish, consider if you really want to form a human connection or if you're just looking for someone to walk you through to finishing!

If it's the latter? Go find porn.

End of rant from a depressed, bitter domme who cannot stand the thought of attempting any form of dating because so many of you treat us like crap.

Mods, if you remove this unhinged rant, I respect it y'all put in the work. I'm just mad and tired.

Domination is often about trusting yourself to lead the scene and make the bulk of the decisions so your partner can turn off their brain. Uncertainty is a huge stumbling block, and having a script/list can help with expectations. Not just of likes and dislikes, but a general outline of the pacing. Then you can live in the moment rather than worrying about what stage comes next.

An example of how the outline might look:

0. Talk it out! The more communication you do beforehand, the less you have to do in the scene. Talk about what yall want to be called (mistress/sir/mommy/goddess/your highness/no title) (good girl/good boy/good puppy/princess/slut/bitch). If you already know what your partner is excited about, you know at least one thing you can use against them 😈. This is also the time to do research about kinks, practice your dirty talk, or maybe find a look that makes you feel confident as shit.

1. To set up the scene, create a power imbalance. Examples: dom is clothed and sub is naked. Sub is tied or blindfolded. Sub is on knees. Or the dom can simply smile wickedly and declare "alright, I'm in charge now, little one". You can use your words or you can lead them physically. If you have rules you want them to follow (permission needed for touching, coming, speaking, using your title, saying please, etc), set them up now so they know your expectations.

2. Now it's time to tease and torture, just a little. Test out your sub's reactions. Edge them. Describe how turned on you are but don't let them. Withhold your body/mouth/touch. Remind them that you have complete control over when and IF they get to come (threats are great). Tease them about their reactions. The hornier and more desperate you can make your sub, the more control you have over them.

3. Subs with horny-brain will do anything you want. Now is the time to use that. Tell them to beg, tell them to worship you, tell them to use their body for your pleasure. Or maybe you want to explore their boundaries a little, make them feel exactly how vulnerable they are to your power. Playing with a sub's ass is a lovely way for them to feel that electric vulnerability.

4. Orgasms! If you are in charge, you get to decide who comes and when. You can make your sub wait until they are desperate and begging, then make them wait a little more. Of course, you can have orgasms whenever, however and as many as you want.

5. Reset the balance of power. Also known as aftercare. This is where you tell them how good they did and how much fun you had. If you called your sub filthy names, call them endearments now. If you spanked them, soothe their skin. If you made them get on their knees, give them a bit of a leg and back massage. Or just cuddle a bit and put on a dorky show.

6. Debrief! Once you're out of the scene, take a chance to talk about what you liked, what didn't work, what you'd want to do next time, etc. If something weird happened, talk about it and how to make it better.

A blunt, rusty spoon

Dominant enough?

NEw to Reddit and just starting to document my domme moments. My boyfriend, Lex, encouraged me to share our experiences here, so here I am! We've been together for two years.

To give some background, Lex wanted to have penetrative sex back in July. I agreed—but with one condition: I would be the one in control, riding on top, and he would need to be desensitized to male-dominant porn. Since then, he’s been in chastity, and I’ve been working to "rewire" him.

Here’s how I’ve been doing it:

Every day, I select a male-dominant porn clip for him to watch. He’s required to sit through it entirely. If he gets an erection, I re-enact the scene with a twist—it becomes a reverse scenario, where I take full control and play it out as femdom while he remains locked up.

For example, there was a scene where a male Dom restrained a submissive woman and spanked her until the paddle broke. Lex couldn’t control himself and got hard. So I tied him up, spanked him until he cried, and teased him without release for hours.

Fast forward to today—it’s been four days since Lex last got an erection while watching the clips. If he makes it through today without any reaction, tomorrow might finally be the day we have penetrative sex for the first time in our relationship, with me fully in charge.

I’m curious—have any other Dommes here used similar techniques to "rewire" their subs? What do you think about this approach?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and connecting with others in the community!

TL;DR: I’ve been reconditioning my boyfriend by having him watch male Dom porn. If he gets erected, I reverse the scenario as femdom until he’s completely submissive. Tomorrow might be the first time we have sex after months of this. Have you done anything similar?

Just my little reflection as the year comes to an end.

We’ve been living in FLR for a long time now.

Orgasm control has always been strict, but for a long time the evenings still carried this low-level tension around whether tonight might be “the night.” Then one day I ended it.

For a long time the whole evening revolved around his release. You could feel it in the air the moment I walked through the door: the hopeful glances, the extra attentiveness, the unspoken countdown until he’d finally ask.

It was exhausting for me and (though he didn’t fully realize it) it was keeping him from actually serving. His focus was on the finish line, not on me.

One night I told him: From now on, if you say (or text) "May I cum", you automatically earn one extra week before I even consider it again. No apologies. The only way to make the wait shorter is to just not bring it up.

I was honestly a little nervous saying it, but he told me later that looking back, that rule was exactly what he needed. The proof that the decision truly, finally, completely belonged to me. He just needed the guardrail so he could stop obsessing and start trusting.

The change was almost instant. The tension reduced pretty quickly. Evenings became calm again. His energy shifted from “How do I earn release tonight?” to “How do I make her evening perfect?”

When I do decide he’s earned an orgasm, it’s now a genuine celebration. He genuinely thanks me because he knows it was never owed; it was given.

Best rule I ever made. Zero begging, total peace, and service that actually feels selfless.

This is so weird to talk about but kissing a boy wearing a chastity cage is such a weird experience.

I’m so used to feeling them get hard down there when we make out. I love that feeling of a boy getting harder and harder and it pressing against my stomach and trying to slip it between my legs. But when my boyfriend/sub wears a cage, I don’t feel anything. If I really push my hips against him, I can feel the hardness of the cage but nothing poking me.

It’s such a different experience. It’s like I’ve taken his power away from him.

This is a rant, again if you are in a depressed place where someone's else's frustration is going to significantly impact you, please consider this a content warning.

I can't say I am speaking for the other mods here, but I can say the biggest challenge I find in attracting femdoms to stick around in communities is protecting them from the morass of subs who A) repeatedly insist they are as rare as hen's teeth, and B) relate to all femdoms primarily through the lense of making themselves happy.

And it's a larger problem offline too. For example, locally I am working to start a femdom munch. I am doing the work to build a space for dommes (and female switches) only- and as a domme, it's working really well. But you know the first and only thing from the guy subs? CAN I GO? Oh good! Maybe I can get a domme, then! Wonderful, I might stop being single!

It has to be all about you, doesn't it?

You are like the bad stereotype of the nerdy comic book store guy. We wander into spaces full of our own enthusiasm and interests, and often our own spin on the kink, and hit a wall of guys asking to GET GF NOW???, suspiciously calling us fakes, and fantasizing if you could only meet us we could complete you. Any single domme, hell any domme who has the free time to be spotted gets treated like her existence is a clear line of excitement to be matched. It's like you were a middle aged female Jane Austen character with a bad daughters to dowry ratio. At best you ask us to match you onto other dommes, assuming again that we exist largely to meet your needs.

Of course not all subs. This isn't a "where have all the good men gone???" post.

This is a "We shouldn't have to hide or fight off morons as the price of being female in public."

This has to be fixed. I can make the observation that it would get you all a domme a lot faster if you didn't essentially load us into a trebuchet the minute you find a real one and yeet us as far away from you as you could. But it's fucking depressing to tell men to treat us like a person because hey, you might have us.

But heaven help us talk about hating the harassment, and frankly, sexism we deal with. Suddenly your feelings are hurt because you identify with lonely wanker #335 and it made you feel like all dom women haaaate you. More posts get made (even, sincerely by me) by folks reminding you we love you. You matter.

But you don't lash out at the sub men who harass us and chase us away. You rant, moan and come up with a million squintillion reasons why you hate the professionals, calling them fake, mercenary, and fixating on how likely you are to get scammed, as if you lacked the common sense to do the minimal fucking research to tell the average cat fish from an established pro (and without admitting the real risk is that you are looking for a bargain, like trying to buy a Birkin for $30 on craigslist).

Let us use spaces for more than just getting you a domme!!! Let us be horny as friends, and stop treating us like our primary purpose is to shape the existential hole in your life you think is loneliness.

Seriously. It's always the lack of women here to give you your kink. It's not even considering that we aren't just dominatrices, but a disproportionate amount of those gorgeous, fap inspiring cartoons that get stolen and endlessly re-spammed? Well, fine arts degree have been leaning female for years. We write plengty of the porn too. And the lifestyle blogs. We run the sex toy shops in reasonable numbers, and we certainly make up most of the admin/marketing that lets you find a strapon to buy. Given our apparent scarcity we seem to do a fuck ton of moderating and munch organizing and dungeon-for-rent owning too.

(And pouring one out here for the lesbian femsubs, because DEAR LORD are you not listened to, and you have my deepest sympathy that morass tries to force you to domme them too when you come into shared spaces too).

But there's this weird domme invisibility field, where if we aren't metaphorically or literally ready to stand on your dick, we slip into a parallel world you can neither see nor interact with.

As a sub male, the number one thing I hear from my thirsty fellow submissive males is some masturbatory comment or message about how I'm a "beta." Worse even still is the common weird overcompensating virginal "bull" who slides right into my DM's and thinks they can fuck the Mistress I serve with some kind of weird braggadocios pretense of "alpha-ness."

No. Just no. When you classify men into these weird Alpha Beta Sigma Omega camps, you are making some weird dumb Jordan Peterson-y manosphere assertion that some unreplicable, 3-decade-old, failed study (that was recanted by the author), on captive wolves somehow translates to a consistent indicator of 21st century human behavior. It's just not true. It's bad science. It's easily disproven. Just do the tiniest of googles.

Or, perhaps worse, this alpha beta c d e f g bullshit is your own personal kink that you have decided that I somehow fit into. This is really gross, and viewing all of society through the lens of your own kinks is really unhealthy. Also, I didn't consent to being a part of your wolf kink so quit assuming you can force the title of 'beta' upon me.

Even if one truly believes that there are two or more types of men, and you group them into some kind of dominance hierarchy, you are presuming that somehow because I am able to engage in the type of sexual exchanges I enjoy partaking in, it makes me somehow below or subservient to other males who don't enjoy that type of sex in some sort of stratified contrivance. No. I get the attention and devotion I enjoy from a person I enjoy receiving it from. End of story. If that makes me a beta because I didn't "do the sex" right, well, idk what to tell you. Most women will want you to do the sex "wrong" in some way.

Even if we were a cuckholding household, we wouldn't be going for the weird and awkward little /r/beholdthemasterrace dorks stumbling over themselves to pour into every subby boy and domme's DM's to make sure you know that they are "alphas." She would be going to a bar and finding an attractive person and then once she had taken her pleasure from him/her, she would be coming home to me, who would also be gaining pleasure from the situation. In a way, even if you were the "alpha" or the "bull" you thought you were, we would be using you for both our pleasure, and who really holds the power in that situation? Boys, let's do better. This thirsty screaming for attention is a bad look,

Sorry if this comes off as a little angry. When a hundred people lightly tap the same spot over and over again, it might not hurt but it sure gets quite annoying.

Hi everyone! The first post I did about my recent femdom experience got a lot of lovely feedback, so I've decided to post here again!

For starters, I was a bit nervous to tell my BF how much I was into crossdressing because I didn't want him to think any different of me, so I wasn't planning on telling him about that anytime soon. Now, that plan went out the window when I told him casually, "I think you'd look cute with eyeliner," and he proceeded to let me do his makeup!!!!!!!! And pick his clothes!!!!!!!!!!! When I tell you guys, holding his cheek in my hand as I did his eyeliner was an absolute dream come true, I mean it! I've wanted to do this for so long that it's embarrassing, lol. I did his makeup in a cute goth style, which suited him really well, and then I asked the big question after he wanted to know what I was thinking about:

"Would you mind if I picked a cute outfit for you?"

He said yes, but I was still a little too embarrassed to suggest fully crossdressing, but guess what... HE SUGGESTED IT!!!!!!! He pointed at a skirt on my floor and asked if it'd be ok if he could wear girl clothes!!!!!! Let's just say the events that proceeded after he put on my bra+skirt+slutty tank top were pretty awesome. I drew a picture of it if anyone wants to see it on my page :D I held him in front of a mirror, praising him and telling him how pretty he was for a long time before doing anything more. I'm super happy with how these events played out, and maybe I'll tell him how much I wanna peg him soon!

Stop. Stop spending every waking moment of your day searching for it. Stop trying to find that woman that is going to fill that void and somehow make your whole life better. It doesn't work that way.

I made a post a few days ago talking about how I'm meeting women that kinda fill my needs a little bit even though I have extreme fantasies. I got a few PM's from submissive men asking me what I'm doing that's making it work. Where do they go to meet women like this? What am I doing that's special?

Here's your answer: nothing. I'm not doing anything special. I'm going out and meeting people and talking to them like human beings. I'm learning to stop self medicating with fantasy. I'm working on me. I'm going for hikes, going to live shows, and trying to live an overall more fulfilling life. Just by being me and getting out of the house more, I've had more women show interest than ever and half the time my gut tells me "I'm not sure I like her that way back."

You want some real advice? Really re-assess how important sex is to you. Go see a therapist. Find out the reason why sex has become THAT important to you. Find out what it is about you that's truly unfulfilled that's making you feel like somehow finding that new partner is the endgame for you. Learn to stop chasing women. Learn to be okay with having women that are just your friend. You know... General advice that I'd give to dominant men having the same struggle.

Most of all listen to women when they tell you a behavior is toxic or sexist. Change your behavior, but don't do it for them. Do it for yourself.

Dommes are not as rare as you think. You fantasize about this leather-bound whip holding, boot wearing woman as if that's all that matters. What that leads to, assuming you even get anywhere with that mentality, is someone with whom you have an amazing sex life with but a lot of the other factors don't work.

A domme is a normal human being just like you and I. Get off the internet for a bit. Get off reddit. Get a life outside of this. That's not to say you can't use reddit to get your kicks off on the side, but have a life that's fulfilling that makes reddit just that extra thing you got in the background.

Also you'd be amazed what happens just by being honest with the women you talk to. I'm a switch who has chatted up a few women who pose as submissive and then as soon as they find out I have a submissive side, all hope of me being dominant with them goes out the window. Suddenly they wanna be on top, slapping me, spanking me, fucking me... All because I don't wear a mask with what I do.

Get your life together. Deal with your depression and stop blaming your poor quality of life on not having a woman to have sex with. You don't have to do anything special. The right person will find you attractive and you'll both find a way to make the sex life work.

Sorry I'm coming across as a little salty but Jesus... The sheer desperation of some of the PM's I got. Calm down dude.

EDIT: I'm also not gonna pretend to be perfect or superior either. I occasionally still suffer from bouts of extreme loneliness and codependency. But I'm going through it with more clarity, understanding, and self awareness.

I've heard it said a million times. Pegging is one of those male gaze things, just like a high pony tail or skimpy outfits. It's something you do for him, not for yourself. Well, screw all that, I'm doing this for my own pleasure.

It has something I have been fantasizing about for years. Roughly the last decade of it with the same sexy man I'm proud enough to call mine now, but that's a different story.

Yet all the porn and erotica in the world couldn't prepare me for how much hotter this was in real life! His moans, his groans, the look on his face. The way his struggle slowly melts into a tantalizing surrendering. The way he'd look at me, his voice alternating between oh and ouch. How he can't hold his body still when it's more of a struggle, or his cock, I can see the precum glistening on there, darling.

The first time I lay him on his bathroom floor putting one of his dildos in his ass I instantly knew I'd be addicted to this. It was the hottest thing in the world. And oh, how powerful I felt, in control of his body, his sexuality. And yes, his pain too cause I'm not always that nice about it. It can make me have the evilist of smiles, giggles and yes, it can make me cum too.

Thank you darling, for being my toy, giving your body to me, I will make sure it gets used well.

My bf and I have been dating a little over a month and I had played with his ass a little bit before, but last night I finally got to use my strap on on his tight little bum!

We were hanging out and I had been teasing him all day about how it's his turn to get fucked in the ass tonight. So when he looked at me and said "Wanna fuck me?", I literally ran to the bedroom to get ready. He said it was cute how excited I was.

I made him prep himself with a toy and suck my dick, then we had to go really slow and gentle at first so I didn't hurt him. When he was ready tho I pounded the fuck out of his ass.

Hearing him moan like a slut and call me mommy while he took my cock was THE HOTTEST THING EVER. And he told me I did an amazing job, even better than guys he had been with.

I can't wait to do it again and he can't either! 😍

I always see femdom equated with pegging and I honestly feel like the opposite is true. Getting fucked makes me feel way more dominant than fucking, and here's a rambly list of why:

1. your partner has to do all the work. You get to just sit back and enjoy yourself

2. if your sub is using a strap-on (which is the case for me) the act is entirely about your pleasure. They are serving you, and all the pleasure they gain is through serving you.

3. if your sub is using their own equipment, so to speak, you've got a very sensitive body part completely under your control. Which can be very fun

4. riding someone while on top is extremely powerful and can be done in a very dominating way. But also, lying back and being underneath allows you to be demanding / serviced by your sub. It works for any position

5. forcing a sub who wants to fuck you fast and hard to fuck you slowly and sensually is very fun for the Dom and agonizing for the sub (in a good way)

6. where they're allowed to cum can be part of play

I can't think of any more at the moment. But I don't see many people talk about being a bottom Dom / top sub very much and I think that's a shame.