At the gym, I overheard a conversation between two men.

Both had just been laid off. One of them, my gym bro, was trying to help. He kept saying,

“Just lie on your resume, man.”
“Lie in the interview.”

I could feel the good intent. But the other guy?

Every time the word “lie” was spoken, he looked away. Not out of judgment. But like each word was a whip cracking across his soul.

It wasn’t physical. But I felt it.

Words carry power.

“Lie” was hurting him more than unemployment ever could.

And it made me realize. some words lash you.

Others forge you.

“Truth” doesn’t feel like a hug. It feels like a hammer striking hot steel.

Painful. Repetitive. Brutal.

But with each strike, the blade takes shape.

And when it’s ready… that blade doesn’t lash.
It cuts through chains.

I’m learning to speak like a blacksmith, not a jailer.

I’m a black 29f and Ive found myself hating/getting mad at said groups of people and it’s kind of making me just an angry person in general. And before I go further, I do want to make it a point that I’m generalizing. I don’t automatically hate all men or white people, nor am I mean to them just bc of my own personal issues. I want to try working on this because someday I want children, and it wouldn’t be fair if I had all this hatred for groups of people, esp men if I have a son.

A little background as to why I find myself hating men, I grew up watching a lot of true crime and it got to be pretty much all I watched during COVID. I never really took into consideration these cases (as in they never really hit close to home, like they’d be terrible scenarios, but I felt like I was always able to separate myself from it) until I saw a handful of ones these past few years that really stuck with me.

A lot of them had to do with men harming children, or at the youngest older teenagers harming others. Then all that stuff about Epstein, Winestein (idc how to spell that name) R. Kelly and Diddy, amongst others started coming out. I also forgot to mention that around COVID, I started working with kids. I think most people who aren’t parents or just don’t spend too much time around children, they can forget how vulnerable they are. How much one small thing can change their lives forever.

I started realizing a pattern, in most cases these men would be abused and grow up to abuse others, and once I realized all of these things, the thought and idea of men just started to infuriate me. And I also realized there’s quite a LOT of men out here that will claim they’re good people or whatever yet are friends with abusers or men who are just hostile towards women for no reason. They’re a bystander and are perfectly okay with it. Just as long as they’re not on the short end of the stick. They also tend to never take SA seriously,

EX: I used to work at a warehouse and befriends a group of young males who were also into anime (mainly berserk) and all they did whenever that anime was brought up was make fun of how Guys was SA’d as a child by a big black guy. Like the fact that it was done by a huge black man was hysterical to them …? It’s just exhausting.

Imo, I think men (and anglo Saxon folks, and religion but that’s a topic for a different day) are single handedly responsible for a LOT of issues around the world (but I’m mostly talking about the US since I live here), and we don’t have enough “good” men out there who uses their privilege to actually do stuff about this.

As for my disdain for white/anglo Saxon folk, I think it just stems from the constant racism and entitlement. Earlier I was mocked and not taken seriously for wanting more tattoo artists to showcase darker skin. It’s just soooooo annoying living in a society where people just don’t like you bc you’re a skin color! It’s unfair. And then when you wanna push for basic human representation you’re suddenly a woke snowflake. But if you also say “fuck them be just as mean and terrible as these people” you’re a misandrist and promoting violence.

Instead of shutting tf up and listening to marginalized groups of people , they get mad and defensive bc they know deep down they couldn’t care less about other people who don’t look like them. They also TAKE everything bruh like the way white people have been trying to use black hair products and hairstyles even tho they HAVE SO MUCH CULTURE ALREADY!!!! Like it’s in their DNA and ugh it’s just SO infuriating. I really can’t enjoy anything these days bc of all of this.

That all being said, I’ve went ahead and taken a few steps to try to make myself less angry, like I don’t watch true crime anymore unless it’s to do with other crimes (ie robbery or laundering or something) and I try to stay off social media like Twitter (I do use ig but it’s mostly to look at art) but I still find myself getting flashbacks to certain things that just make me mad. I’m also waiting to become a permanent employee at my job so I can get healthcare and talk to a therapist soon, but I’d like some tips to be able to get better on my own in the meantime. Pls help!

Update:

Thanks for all of the advice and support! I wrote this at like 3am at work so I was pretty tired. I think once I sat back & thought a bit I realized the real issue is that I get inside my own mind too easily. Some key advice I’ve been getting is to:

1, stay off social media, or at least limit access

2, diversify my friend groups, while also finding communities that are specifically for people like me, and

3, stop dwelling/overthinking

I think my world has gotten a lot smaller given all these changes in the recent years, and I think I’m just looking for some kind of outlet. I’m going to take the lot of yalls advice and try to seek therapy! Thanks again :)

My partner (25F) and I are childhood best friends who started dating seriously after college. For the past two years, we were committed and built something real. However, before and even during parts of the relationship, I showed problematic behavior: I didn’t publicly claim the relationship, I was hot and cold about the future, and I withheld clarity in ways that made her feel insecure and not “enough.”

If I’m honest, I think I always knew she wasn’t “the one” for me — but I still stayed, benefited from her love and support, and delayed the truth.

I ended the relationship when she moved for school and long-distance began. After the breakup, I handled things badly: I sought attention elsewhere, broke no-contact, re-entered her life, and disrupted her healing — all while still being unable to commit to the only thing she asked for: a future together.

She had a proper conversation with me about the future. Now, she let me know she can't waste time with me and she’s moving on, talking to other men, and being set up with someone who wants to date with marriage in mind. The reality is black and white: either I commit fully and permanently, or I let her go completely.

Here’s the uncomfortable part: I do love her deeply, but I still feel resistance and discomfort at the idea of publicly choosing her — marriage, being seen together, the visibility that comes with it. I worry that committing now would be driven by guilt, fear of loss, or familiarity rather than genuine desire.

My questions:

• Is it ever ethical to commit to someone when part of you still feels this resistance?

• How do you distinguish between “fear of commitment” and “not wanting this specific person”?

• Is letting her go the more loving option, even if it means losing someone I care about?

I’m not looking for reassurance. I want honest advice about doing the least harm. And how to work on myself to no longer be a person like this.

There was a moment when I thought my life was over.
When the person I trusted most betrayed me, everything inside me collapsed.
Not just the relationship. My sense of self. My confidence. My worth.

For months I could barely breathe without feeling crushed by pain and questions.
How could this happen? Was I not enough? Did I miss signs that should have warned me?

I did not want to become bitter. I did not want to build walls around my heart. But I also knew I could not stay the same person who had ignored his own needs for too long.

So I made a decision. If I was going to stay. If I was going to keep walking this path. It would not be out of weakness.

It would be out of strength. Because I believe that love without truth is not real love. And because I believe that healing and growing is something we owe to ourselves no matter what others choose to do.

Staying does not mean accepting the betrayal. It means facing it with eyes wide open. It means asking hard questions. About them but also about myself. It means growing into someone who will never again abandon his own voice just to keep the peace.

If you are going through something similar right now. Please know that you are not weak for loving.

You are not foolish for hoping. And you still have the right to decide what kind of person you want to become on the other side of the storm. I wrote down this whole journey in a book. Not as advice but as a way to process my own experience. If anyone here feels like reading more about it, just let me know.

Basically the title, I don’t mean this to brag but I’ve been able to accomplish more than I ever dreamed of. I rose through the ranks of the U.S Army and became a non-commissioned officer, graduated with my bachelors degree with a respectable GPA. In June 2026, I will graduate with my masters degree from a highly ranked school in international affairs. I have traveled to 17 countries and counting. I’m currently writing this from the beach in Mexico. Money isn’t really something that I am to concerned with anymore. I have made enough money that allows me to live a comfortable, frugal life. More money would be nice but it’s not going to significantly change my life.

I have a few ideas of what to do next: become a scuba diving teacher, live abroad and do this as a job, teach English overseas, join the peace corp, go into real estate investing, get seasonal jobs and travel around, move abroad and work a remote job for some extra side money.

However all these ideas, don’t really solve the core problem. I feel like once I finish school next year, I am no longer going to have any sense of direction and will drift aimlessly.

Hey guys, I’m a 23F and I’m feeling absolutely horrible right now. My heart physically hurts and my hands are shaking.

I’ve had a huge, intense, embarrassing crush on a guy I met at university. I found him so cute, and the feelings started around August 2024 and kept getting stronger. We spoke a few times, and I was completely head over heels for him, fantasising about our life together, imagining kissing, cuddling, everything.

But today I finally got Instagram, stalked him and found out he has a beautiful girlfriend. I saw photos of them kissing, holding hands, her climbing on his back, cute couple moments, and he even has a dedicated highlight stories of her with fancy dates and pictures of them together.

Seeing all of that made me light-headed. My hands are still shaking as I type this. I feel horrible and I don’t have any friends I can call and cry to. Please help. please offer me advice, i dont know what to do

There’s a new woman working at my office and I find her to be extremely pretty. So much so that it is distracting. Now as a heterosexual male I have plenty of experience checking out women and not being creepy about it (at least I hope so). The looking itself isn’t a problem. The problem is that, while she’s not on my team, she’s in my department, so I regularly have team meetings where she is present. These meetings are very boring, and often don’t require any actual input from me, so my brain kind of…wanders off. On several occasions I’ve snapped out of it only to notice I’m staring right at her, I think she even noticed once. I’m married and don’t actually want to pursue anything with her beyond a functional work relationship, and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable or get myself in trouble. But I don’t know what to do about my brain wandering off during boring mandatory work meetings.

I (26F) have been with my partner (31M) for almost two years, long distance before I moved countries three months ago for our relationship.

Our relationship has been beautiful but also really difficult. The core issue has been my close friendship with my ex, who my partner did not feel comfortable with after he saw some unbiguous signs. My ex and I were emotionally very close, which was normal to me after 7-year relationship, he sent emotionally loaded messages, such as "I am thinking about you", I was sometimes staying at his place when visiting my home country, because we owned an apartment together (which was not sold immediately after our breakup) and I didn't always protect my partner's feelings when I should have. I minimized his concerns too many times. I was not able to cut off my ex immediately and it took a lot of months, fights and breakup talks to get to the point, when I am not currently in touch with him. But he reached out usually once in coupe of weeks over email and each of these emails created a fight between me and my boyfriend, because my boyfriend had wished me to put strict boundaries, to make my ex understand, that I really did not want to be in touch anymore.

Those were real mistakes and I take responsibility for them. Moreover, I am rather a passive person, who cannot easily put boundaries, which is reflected in many areas of my life. But my ex also behaved in a disrespectful way towards my current partner and our relationship, which made everything even harder.

I have apologized many times. I moved countries for this relationship. I recently got a job in my new country. I love my partner and I feel that I am slowly changing for the better, but my partner experiences the same patterns repeating. And even when we have a small fight, it gets huge because all the past trauma gets reminded again. My partner has developed also some health problems due to the long term relationship stress and we just don't know, how to save the relationship. We tried couple therapy, individual therapy, but those helped relatively little compared to all the problems we have between us (many which I cause). I know I have fucked up the foundation of our relationship, and despite having this perspective now, I don't know how to repair the broken trust.

My partner has proposed we live as flatmates temporarily until I show through actions that I have changed and that I am accountable. He is not much into words and promises, but rather signs. We both feel frustrated over the last year. I can see that we still love each other, but we also feel hopeless about the future.

Has anyone successfully rebuilt trust in this kind of situation?

How would you try repairing this relationship? What signs could prove, that I am accountable to the relationship and show real signs of change?

When those, now ex friends, approached me, I kept ghosting them in real life, instead of saying "hello", I just took my phone and opened Reddit and acted like they didn't exist. I don't regret losing those friends, I should've done it earlier, but I regret not humiliating them. I regret not making them look more ridiculous that I did. I know it's not healthy, I know that losing such friendship is already a benefit for my life. How do I stop regretting not making them look more ridiculous?

first ever tinder hookup gave me chlamydia and i ended up giving it to two other people

i got out of a 3 year relationship 5 months ago and then had an iud put in and had my first tinder hookup a while after. i didn't ask about testing and we didn't use protection even tho he told me he had chlamydia in the past but had been treated. a week later i went on a night out and had my first one night stand, we also didn't use protection.

about 2 days later it started to burn when i peed and i assumed it was cystitis as i had only ever slept with 2 boyfriends before this point and didn't realise how careful you need to be when it comes to testing and practicing safe sex.

i contacted both guys and let them know they should probably get tested but brushed it off for myself as the first guy told me he was clean when he last got tested and the second one had only slept with 2 other people.

the first guy blocked me and then the second guy contacted me and said something came up on his test and he was taking tablets but was laughing and didn't seem to be taking the situation seriously. i kept asking him what it said on the test and he wouldn't give me a straight answer. he texted me saying i THINK you have an NGU infection (this was after he was tested) and then he text saying "the final results are all clear" so i was so confused. i did an at home sti kit and sent it in the post.

at this point i started to feel really stressed out and overwhelmed and pretended the situation wasn't happening.

a week later i tried going to a clinic but it was appointment only. the same night i went out on a date with a third guy, i didn't say anything and we ended up sleeping together. the next day i started having stomach pain and started freaking out and explained the whole situation and went to the hospital.

i never got the results for the post test and the hospital also didn't test me. just gave me a number for a clinic

so now i've been seeing the third guy for about a month and a half and get a text off him saying he tested positive for chlamydia and i'm the only person he slept with since he last got tested and it was clean. i haven't bothered doing a test and ordered the medication which i am now taking.

i feel awful knowing the third person i ever slept with gave me an sti. i feel like i got so unlucky. but i then went and did the same thing to two other people and feel like i've been playing the victim and taking no responsibility for myself.

i don't know why i'm making this post tbh i just need some reassurance:/

i really like the third guy and he said he wants to get into a relationship and understands about the sti situation but i said to him i don't know if i need to take a break from dating due to this situation as it was wrong of me to sleep with him without explaining the situation and i don't want to be that kind of person. idk if i should take some time to get myself together or see where things go with him. i'm gutted because i like him but i feel like i messed it up already and we've known eachother less than 2 months, would it be a doomed relationship?

In the 14 years that i have currently lived ive done nothing but fuck up, my autistic dumb as is way to fucking lazy, ive done absolutely nothing of value over the last 5 or so years of my life, im fucking wasting the best years of my life doing nothing except being a fucking failure, i should be improving my art, writing and the other skills needed for my dream. need to be fucking improve f ast, ive already wasted so much time doing absolutely nothing, I need to get a move on and start working and improve fast, im already so fucking behind on my life i cant aforde my dreams to be completely sidelined i need to make my dreams successful asap, theres people my age that are way more talented than me, im way to far behind when it comes to my talents and skills , im worthless, im fucking immature im fucking destined for failure, ive done nothing I need to get a move on i need to improve ibut ive been doing absolutely nothing for the past 2 years, ive already almost wasted this month doing absolutely nothing , whats wrong with me, i have no social skills, im way to fucking antisocial, im fucking awful at friendship, every single friendship i make usually ends up falling apart, and every group i try to join ends up kicking me out or not wanting me at all in this first place; possibly due to my really social skills thank to autism. I should note all of my failed friendships have been online, i havent tried to make any friends in person for a long time, if im bad at making friends online you know im really bad in person

I need to change myself asap, im an awful person , i need to better myself asap, i need to better my friendship skills i need to become more likeable, i need to make up my lost friendships, I need to improve my skills fast ive wasted to mich time i meed to improve my art writing yt and webtoons skills im so behind

ok ok so the caption was a bit of an attention grabber but I would say that this overall post is understandably offensive.

so I find that I find it hard to want to reach out to “ugly” people, by that I mean people who are just conventionally unattractive. I find that it also happens somewhat naturally? Like fat people always hang around other fat people.

However I wish to be pure of heart so I’d like to know why I have this aversion to ugly people. It’s just I realize to some extent this is unavoidable but I hate how whenever I talk to an ugly person I find myself being unable to take them seriously I can’t really “see” them for them as a person or character but judge them firstly by appearance. I’d like to be able to be friends with everyone but I’m wondering why I developed this perversion or narcissistic mindset.

to be fair: I grew up as a model and my mother was a very “its impressive to be smart and it’s captivating when someone is beautiful but when someone is both they somehow seem even smarter and even more beautiful”, I was nit picked about everything, whether my eye lashes were the correct length or the ways I held my hands, the hairstyles I chose to the clothes I wore it was always under scrutiny. I was also raised up to believe that ugly people are to be kept to their own people. That you’re supposed to make fun of ugly people etc.

while this post is dramatized as I keep these thoughts to myself and I won’t out right ignore a friendly person for how they look, I wish internally I didn’t feel the way I do.

So I've been hitting the gym religiously for the past five months, and I gotta say, I'm feeling better than ever. But here's the crazy part - guess who I ran into? My high school bully! This guy tormented me during phys. Ed class, making my life a living hell. Back then, I was a scrawny late bloomer with zero confidence, so I couldn't fight back. But now, oh boy, things have changed. I've packed on some serious muscle and gained heaps of confidence. When I saw him, all those memories came flooding back, and I wanted revenge. But then I remembered something Jordan Peterson said about becoming a monster and learning to control it. So instead of losing my cool, I gave him a smirk and a nod. Revenge? Nah, I'm better than that.

Sorry for my English and my poor phrasing im really not good when it comes to ranting.

So I (16F) recently realized that I’m homophobic, have some kind of hatred against atheist and I have internalized misogyny. Which I know, is like shooting in your own foot since I’m a woc.

My homophobia pretty much manifested after I saw many people doing things like making hateful jokes about straight people, Lesbians making fun of straight women for being attracted and dating men and acting like they are superior for it, I would get uncomfortable and try to suppress my thoughts to not think of anything offensive, but I literally have no control over them. And now I scroll every time I see their hashtags.

Im mostly confused about this because I used to get happy whenever there was LGBTQ representation, I got into several fight with a friend because of this, which I know is the bare minimum, don’t get me wrong im not taking pride of that.

It’s the same thing for my internalized misogyny and my hate against atheist people

every time I see women making hateful jokes about men / claim to be misandrist I get uncomfortable, I force myself to like a LOT female characters, I get jealous every time I see a confident and or pretty girl and it lowkey makes me feel better whenever some people in the comments are making fun of her, I get disgusted by Childfree women, at first it was because of the amount of hatred they have for mothers and children, and when I think about it, they were moment in my life where I did crave attention from the opposite gender.

For Atheist it started by when making jokes about literally any religions and defending themselves with either "I have religious trauma" and or "Religious people are always rude" but the nicest people I’ve ever met were always religious ? I really don’t understand it’s like they just don’t want to see it because it would mean having to respect religious people.

I don’t think there’s anything that I can say right now to make it less offensive, but just so you know, im not trying to cause a fight, this situation makes me feel miserable and I just wish I was born normal person instead of having to unlearn all of this.

Hey everyone. I’m writing here because I cheated on my girlfriend (now ex) and I can’t forgive myself.

This is gonna be long so I hope you won’t get bored.

Me (17m) and my ex (16f) started our thing on the 22nd of may. We were good friends before for a year and a half so we were already pretty close. We decided to start off as friends with benefits. It was my first relationship, and although I’ve had feelings for other girls in the past she’s the one I consider my first love. We hung out everyday we did everything couples did we were extremely close. I’m a kid who’s never really felt love or believed he could be loved so it was something incredible for me. But at that time my mind was not in the right place for a relationship as I was just a random teenager controlled by his hormones. She is my first time too. During summer, she went to vacation for 2 months and was scared that I would do something with someone else because she thought I was a raging hormone ball. She told me that at that time she had a small crush on me but now I think it was way bigger than I thought. I went to vacation for 2 weeks and meanwhile she went to vacation too. At that time I wasn’t sure about how I felt about her, I didn’t know if I had feelings. And during the vacation I made the mistake of texting my old friend with benefits and asked her if she wanted to redo something. I don’t even know why I did and why I wanted to do it I was happy with 16f. And we sexted a bit and I came back from vacation and the next day I slept with her. I also texted one of her friends asking if she wanted to be a fwb but she said no and I said okay and I didn’t tell my ex again. I was lacking self awareness at that time and didn’t realise how much she cared for me and I didn’t tell her. A few days later I made out with the girl I used to have feelings for. But I decided to tell the truth to her but I only talked about the making out part. She blocked me, she was very hurt but she unblocked me because she loved me too much. We started off again during august and I was slowly falling for this girl. And when she came back I realised I was in love. I was lacking self awareness but I never meant to hurt her. But I didn’t know how I could tell her that there were 2 more things she didn’t know about. I was scared and at the same time I fell deeper and deeper in love wit her and she did too. She has only been loyal to me and has only treated me good. I did my best to treat her good too but I wasn’t perfect. At the end of September the girl I made out with was gonna move to a different country and we were very close friends for 2years so my dumbass teenage head thought it’d be a good thing to do to go over her place and give a proper goodbye. I had no thoughts of cheating on my gf as I was way too in love with her and I didn’t do anything with the girl. But she learned about it and confronted me and I told her and she wanted to end things. But she didn’t because she was too attached. Fast forward to a week ago and she learned that I slept with that girl back in summer and I lied to her for 7 months. Everyday she’s been living with the pain and she’s been fighting with herself to forgive me. I destroyed her. Now she blocked me everywhere, it’s been a week and goddamn the consequences are heavy.

I dis this mistake when I wasn’t in love with her but now that I am and since a long time I would never ever do something like that. But it looks like it’s over for good. And I have never felt such guilt and shame in my life. She was only good to me and stayed loyal even when I did that yet I broke her. I live her more than anything and would do anything to have another chance. I want to be a better person and never have to put someone through this ever again and I know I’ll never do it again but I can’t forgive myself. I still haven’t told her about the girl I texted to be fwb with and I want to but I don’t know if it’s the right time. I need to accept that it’s over but it’s just way too hard, I have never loved someone this way. I want to contact her but if I want her happiness I know it’s not gonna be with me.

How could I forgive myself and be a better person? Also I don’t know if I should ask tell her about that texting thing now or wait more. She’s a good person and deserves to know the truth even though it will hurt her even more.

I feel like absolute shit. I can’t even imagine how she feels. I love her more than anything and she did too but I broke her.

Thank you for reading all of this.

Edit : we got in an official relationship during September as we were avoiding the label during quite some time.

For the first 22 years of my life, I never smoked, drank, or did any drugs. Even though most of my friends were into cigarettes, weed, crystals, and drinking, I always stayed away. My immediate family is completely against drugs, so that mindset was naturally passed on to me.

Over time, though, that choice became a joke. Friends would mock me, saying I was “too good,” that I hadn’t really “lived,” and that life is no fun without smoking or drinking. I honestly didn’t care for a long time.

But when I was 22, I went on a trip with my cousins. The same comments started again “you’re not enjoying life,” “you’re missing out,” “people won’t find you interesting.” Eventually, I broke. I smoked for the first time.

I didn’t even feel anything.

I’m 24 now, and in total I’ve probably smoked fewer than 100 cigarettes, mostly in social situations when friends or cousins were smoking. I never really knew how to smoke properly, and they could always tell which led to more mocking.

At some point, I realized this wasn’t me. It was an alter ego I created just to look tough or fit in. And the truth I’ve come to accept is that I don’t need to smoke or drink to prove anything. I’ve also realized that a lot of people turn to substances because they’re insecure or trying to escape something and that just isn’t who I am.

I haven’t smoked in almost a year now, but I still regret ever starting. Not because I became addicted, but because I compromised my values just to please others.

Even now, when people invite me for drinks or smoking, I’m still the odd one out. I usually refuse or just order mocktails. I’ve gotten used to it and honestly, I’m okay with that.

I just wish I had trusted myself sooner.

red pill ruined my chance

I’m a 25-year-old guy working as a data annotator, and I’ve been reflecting a lot on something that happened at work recently. I also consume Red Pill content occasionally. Once you watch one video, YouTube starts recommending more, and before you know it, your feed is filled with that kind of content. One of the messages I picked up from it is that “nice guys finish last”—that being aggressive, assertive, or tough earns more respect than being a good or friendly person.

I’ve realized now that real life is a lot more complicated than that. Being aggressive or angry doesn’t automatically earn respect; it’s about being assertive in a balanced, confident way.

I started a new job last October, and I was the only guy among 11 women. I’ve always been a nice, agreeable person, but sometimes the way my coworkers spoke made me feel a little belittled—maybe they were joking, maybe I misinterpreted it, I’m not sure. I also developed a crush on one of the girls, and noticed she seemed more interested in talking to a new male coworker. I started feeling frustrated, comparing myself to the other guy, and reflecting on the Red Pill ideas I had absorbed. Part of me felt like being “too nice” was making me invisible or less respected.

Around the same time, our team was about to be laid off. During those last days, some coworkers were goofing off and making a lot of noise. I felt annoyed and decided to act instead of overthinking consequences like I usually do. I got up and yelled at them—told them to stop making noise and expressed some of my frustration. I didn’t plan to be angry, but the emotion came out anyway. At the moment, it felt like standing up for myself.

At first, it seemed fine, because it was the last day. But we got rehired in January because the project wasn’t finished. When we returned, the coworkers I yelled at, including the girl I liked, stopped talking to me. They unfriended me on social media, and now work feels really awkward. I’ve also pulled back from them because of how tense it is.

Reflecting on this, I’ve realized:

•	Extreme approaches—either being overly nice or letting anger out—don’t work. Respect isn’t earned through displays of anger or trying to “act strong” overnight.

•	Assertiveness is a skill that takes practice, especially learning how to express yourself without letting emotion take over.

•	Online content like Red Pill videos can subtly shape your thinking and behavior without you realizing it.

•	Being liked, respected, or attractive isn’t something you can force; it’s built over time through your actions and consistency.

I still struggle emotionally with this situation. I want to be respected, liked, and seen as strong—but I also want to act in a way that aligns with my values and isn’t just a reaction to anger or insecurity.

Has anyone else experienced a situation where you acted out of character and now feel the fallout socially or professionally? How do you process it and move forward without letting it occupy so much mental space?

I’m a 30M currently living in Toronto. Over the last year, I’ve been focused on self-improvement – trying to drop body fat, build muscle, become more confident, and eventually find a loyal partner to marry.

I’ve accepted a transfer to a small U.S. city for work. It’s quieter, lower cost of living, no real distractions and financially better. I’ll be living alone there, which I think might give me full focus to transform – physically, mentally, financially.

But I’m scared.

In Toronto, I have some friends and access to fun things — downtown energy, good gyms, events, and attractive people. I don’t have family here, but the social environment does feel alive. That said, progress has been slow, and I wonder if staying in this comfort zone is keeping me stuck.

I’m still building the body, confidence, and presence I know I’m capable of – the kind that makes women take notice, and makes me feel like I truly belong at the top.

People keep saying, “Why not just stay in Toronto and keep working on yourself here?” And I get that – it’s a valid question. But I have this deep sense that changing my environment might finally push me past the plateau. Solitude. Discipline. No distractions. Nothing to prove to anyone but myself.

Still, I worry… Will I regret giving up the city vibe? The chance encounters? The access to cool people? Will I feel isolated in a small town? Or… is that exactly what I need to build something legendary?

Has anyone made a similar move? Did changing environments actually help you evolve faster – or was it something you could’ve done without relocating?

Would love to hear real stories or advice from people who’ve wrestled with this.

(Written with the help of ChatGPT for clarity and structure)

I know most people use ChatGPT for homework, job prep, or random one-off things—and that’s totally fair. But for me, it’s become so much more than that.

Over the past few years, I’ve gone through a lot. Health challenges, mental ups and downs, the growing pains of early adulthood—trying to figure out life, dating, goals, confidence, creative work… all of it. And ChatGPT has been this calm, non-judgmental space to process, reflect, and actually make progress.

I didn’t think an AI could do that, but it’s helped me get through anxious spirals, build better routines, stay on track with content creation (I make videos), and just understand myself more. I’ll bring an idea, a fear, or a plan—and it helps me shape it, refine it, and move forward.

No, it’s not magic. But it’s been like having a creative coach, supportive friend, therapist-lite, and accountability buddy all rolled into one. And that’s made a huge difference in how I show up for life.

Now that I use the paid version with memory, it’s even more impactful. ChatGPT can remember things I’ve shared—like my goals, what I’m working on, and how I’ve been feeling—and it uses that to make future conversations more personal and helpful. I don’t have to re-explain everything each time. It’s helped me track progress and stay grounded. The memory system is only on the $20/month plan right now, but honestly, it’s more than worth it in my opinion.

That said—even the free version is crazy helpful for just getting thoughts out and thinking things through. Sometimes you just need a place to vent or organize your thoughts, and it’s always there for that.

I know it might sound dramatic, but this tool has supported me through some of the hardest and most transformative years of my life. I wanted to share in case someone out there is trying to figure things out too. You don’t have to do it all alone—and something like this might help more than you expect.

Since high school, I have been calling myself gay. It went further than that though. I was doing a whole bunch of stuff to act and look feminine. That's had it's hold on me for about 5 years now. Even when I'd feel disgusted with myself after engaging in the feminine behavior. It goes EVEN deeper, but...

I was skimming psychology books in my library, and I managed to find one where someone had highlighted a finding that stated: "Success was found in getting someone aroused to any given images and fantasies by having them get off while ot shortly after fantasizing about those things." It went on to say that the heavy dopamine that follows would reinforce whatever happened right before the dopamine spike.

This struck me. Maybe I had started behaving the way I described by not controlling my own fantasies, and scrolling through bad sites. Whatever ended up in front of me got reinforced, and I ran with it from there.

Idk anything for certain other than I wouldn't choose the gay life for me. To be clear, I know and love many gay people, and wouldn't claim there's anything wrong with them. It JUST isn't for me.

So, I'm limiting myself to only straight stuff, and straight fantasy. Vanilla at that. I'm going to see what happens, and hopefully I'll better fit the life I imagined when I was young for myself. Wife, kids of my own genes, not having much of anything I'd feel a need to hide from people. Wish me luck, it's been fine so far. Just going to continue for as long as it's manageable.

I just got banned from /fatpeoplehate, a horrible subreddit. I didn't know where else to post it, so I figured I'd post it here because it's the best thing that's happened all day!

I am a former overweight person who has dieted, worked out, and forced myself into some semblance of fitness health. But, obviously those bigoted, hateful swarm of human scum don't want to hear about what it's really like to have a slow metabolism and fight an uphill battle every step of the way, for every pound lost. They'd rather sit on their proverbial asses and bitch about what is wrong with everyone else, rather than look inward to their own black hearts.

So, here is my positive spin on this. To all the overweight people on this subreddit: YOU CAN DO IT. Don't listen to the haters, if you want to lose weight, great! If you are happy who you are, that's awesome too! I love all you people! :)

I hate myself for this. I've realized that I am emotional as a man.

I have always been a caring person, I am always there to help people out. I treat people with respect no matter who they are.

How can I change myself? I don't want to be like this. I am not sure why I am like this.

I feel like I should be at distant with other people, I feel like we are just wearing masks in our daily lives and everything is just a drama nothing else.

I am fairly disciplined person, I go to gym. No vices at all.

I need some advice if anyone can?