I matched with this guy not too long ago on hinge.

We had a lot in common like shows and video games, and had a lot of good conversations. We set up a coffee date about a week ago.

First date:
He showed up 40 minutes late and wore his work shirt on his date. We also split the check, but that wasn’t too bad as typical standards for a first date when you barely know the person.

I decided to give him another chance as he had a lot of good conversations and was really funny.

Second date:

We went to a burger place and he did pay the meal but I paid for drinks. Super respectful and made sure I got an uber.

I felt comfortable enough for the third date to be at his house.

Third date: we went to a local Chinese spot that was super good and we both ended up paying our meals because they were pretty pricy. But plus, he didn’t wear his work shirt this time.

We go to his place. With him knowing we had a date at his house two days in advance, the place was a mess. There were dishes piled in the sink, grease stains all over the kitchen counter, and there was a BLOOD STAIN on his wall. When I asked him what happened, he said oh I just fell and forgot to clean it up.

I’m like what do you mean!?! Like you are bringing a girl over, does not cleaning up the blood stain concern you at all?

I told him I was sick and got an uber so he didn’t have to drive me home. But this is a no for me.
Ladies watch out for yourselves out there.

I'm 30F, and I matched with JJ (32M) on a dating app about a week ago.

We barely talked. He would respond, but he wasn't really initiating conversations. Still, I was open to meeting him and getting to know him in person.

Our original plan was to meet at Uptown Mall, BGC, on Saturday at 8 PM. Then, Saturday morning, he suddenly changed the location to Starbucks at Newport. I wasn't familiar with Newport, so I suggested meeting somewhere else first, like Venice Grand Canal Mall, and then going to Newport together. He questioned why we needed to meet there first and didn't seem interested in the idea.

Like dude, I already freaking told you I'm not freaking familiar with Newport!

The Saturday date eventually got cancelled because something happened to his dog. I understood. I'm a fur mom myself, and I wasn't going to be insensitive about that.

We rescheduled for Sunday. He initially suggested meeting at Newport at 4 PM. Then, around noon, he changed the time again to around 7 PM because he needed to attend Mass with his mom.

I agreed. Again.

For context, I work night shifts, so Sunday afternoons are usually when I sleep. But I adjusted my schedule because we had plans.

I started getting ready around 4 PM and left around 5 PM. I drove from my place to Taguig, which is about 17 km, arrived around 5:45 PM, parked my motorcycle, and booked a ride to Newport.

I arrived at Newport at around 6:10 PM and went to Starbucks inside Newport Mall. I ordered a snack and coffee around 6:30 PM while waiting for him.

At 7 PM, he messaged that he was already on his way, with an estimated arrival time of 7:30 PM.

7:30 came and went.

At around 8 PM, I messaged him asking where he was. I was already hungry, but I didn't want to start eating without him because I thought that might be rude.

After 8 PM, he told me he was around Skyway Bicutan. I asked for another ETA around 8:10 PM, and he said he was near Newport at around 8:30 PM.

Then 9 PM came. He said he was in the parking area waiting for the valet.

I waited some more.

Around 9:20 PM, I messaged again to ask where he was. He left me on seen.

I was planning to wait until 9:45 PM before finally giving up and getting dinner. But before I could even send my final message, I discovered that he had blocked me.

Just like that.

I had been waiting for almost FOUR FREAKING HOURS.

Honestly, I'm not heartbroken. I'm angry and offended.

I adjusted my schedule, got ready, drove all the way from my place to Taguig, which is about 17 km, paid for parking and another ride, and waited for someone who apparently couldn't even be bothered to communicate properly.

I understand that things happen. Traffic happens. Plans change. Emergencies happen. I could have understood if he had simply told me he wasn't coming anymore.

But why keep telling someone you're on your way? Why keep giving ETAs if you have no intention of showing up? And why block someone instead of having the decency to say that the date isn't happening?

I even tried to be understanding when he changed the location and the schedule. I gave him the benefit of the doubt more than once. Looking back, I was probably too accommodating.

I did enjoy having some time to myself while waiting, but that doesn't change the fact that my time was wasted. I was hungry, tired, and had to deal with the frustration of waiting around in a place I wasn't even familiar with.

And honestly, I lost my appetite because I was so angry.

I also know that I have to take responsibility for my part in this. My mistake was being too accommodating. I kept giving chances, kept adjusting my schedule, and kept putting someone else's convenience ahead of my own. I should have recognized the warning signs earlier and stopped making so many compromises when the situation was already becoming inconvenient for me. That's something I need to work on because being considerate shouldn't mean constantly disregarding my own time and comfort.

To JJ Hann from Sucat who works in Makati, if you ever come across this post, I want you to know that I'm angry and offended.

I'm angry because you made plans with me, kept changing the schedule, repeatedly told me you were on your way, and left me waiting for FOUR FREAKING HOURS. Then you blocked me instead of having the decency to communicate.

You could have cancelled. You could have told me you weren't coming. I would have understood. But you chose to keep me waiting, knowing that I had already made the effort to meet you.

I drove all the way to Taguig, adjusted my sleeping schedule, spent money, and gave you my time because I took our plans seriously. You clearly didn't.

You don't get to waste someone's entire evening, keep feeding them excuses and false ETAs, then block them like they're the problem. Have the decency to communicate instead of hiding behind a block button.

I'm not heartbroken. I'm pissed off. You wasted my time, and I want you to know that what you did was incredibly disrespectful.

Don't make plans with people if you can't respect their time. Don't use the block button as an escape from basic accountability.

Don't play with people's hearts, time, and effort. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

That's what I'm angry about. Not the date that never happened, but the complete lack of consideration for another person's time and effort.

I (45F) matched with a man on a dating app over 2 years ago. We never met. We never even had a phone conversation. In the last two years, we have maintained a very bland "hey how's it going" type of conversation every few months. Our texts have never been sexual in any way. It has been 4 months since our last text.

Last night he sent a dick pic.

I think I'll just stay single.

I am posting this hellish story on behalf of my friend!!

me and my friend plus a few others went on a group camping trip. i shared a swag with my boyfrien, as did she. obviously we were drinking and it got a bit crazy but eventually everyone went to bed. additionally my friends boyfriend (at the time) threw up so i had kinda assumed he wasnt that drunk anymore after it.

this is where it gets bad. my friend woke up in the middle of the night and rolled onto her side, feeling the sleeping bag being completely soaked. it was pee and she was covered in it. friends boyfriend was awake and seemed to have no idea what was going on. additionally he was unwilling to clean it up so my friend WIPED HIM DOWN. also this was the first night of the trip and there was no showers. her sleeping nag smelt like pee after multiple washes.

his reaction was kinda nonchalant and he wasn’t even freaking out or anything like bro did not care even though he literally drowned his girlfriend in his own pee.

they broke up shortly after lol

Yaar, I genuinely need some outside perspective because my head is spinning and I don't understand what kind of mind games this guy is playing.

A couple of weeks ago, this handsome, well-built guy approached me outside my friend’s class saying he’s a "fan." He wasn't even my usual type at first, so I just had a quick chat after my friend introduced us. Later, my friend told me he’d specifically asked her to introduce us. He sent me an Insta request, replied to a song on my note, and we started talking.

We clicked instantly. Within 48 hours, he came on aggressively strong, saying, "I don't do casuals, casuals is just not my thing. Either it's full-fledged devotion for me or nothing," and claimed I was the first person he'd felt this way about in ages. When I mentioned another guy liked me, he got super possessive, acting ready to fight him and saying, "What's mine is mine, and you should remember that." Ngl, in the moment, it felt pretty attractive. We talked till 4 AM (which he bragged about to our mutual friend), and he was sending love stickers, "I love yous," cooking updates, and his drawings.

Then came the whiplash. Right after a dry "good morning," I saw him on campus with another girl. Naturally, I pulled back and gave him the cold shoulder. Realizing I’d seen them, he panicked and trauma-dumped all his insecurities, anger issues, and red flags on me. We met up that day, got a little close, and he even had my friend clarify there was nothing between me and that other guy. He had to rush somewhere mid-meetup, ran after me just to say bye, and then completely ghosted me. Later, he sent a random "?" text, deleted it after 30 minutes, and both of his best friends sent me follow requests at the exact same time, which I ignored.

After 15 days, I finally confronted him about disappearing. His reply was pure victim-card manipulation. He hit me with:

"You shouldn't get attached to me."

"I don't like to give explanations, and I don't like to take explanations."

"I am this way. I'm a bad person. I deserve to be alone. I was alone before, I am alone now, I will be alone in the future."

Meanwhile, mutuals told me he’s been frantically asking around to see if I’m "loyal" and panicking about whether I'm talking about him. Plus, a girl who used to have a one-sided crush on him told me that when she confessed, he bluntly told her he only wants time-pass and hates commitment. Yet with me, it was full emotional saturation.

Now, he’s acting straight-up creepy on campus. Day before yesterday in the cafeteria, he walked up to the table where I was sitting with a mutual, looked at me silently, and walked off, only to hover nearby and stare me down. When I stepped outside to take a call, he followed me out. When I went back inside, he came right back in and stood directly behind me, constantly trying to lock eyes. After college, instead of getting on his friend's bike on the university side, he crossed the street just to stand near me and stare before riding off, and I even spotted him stopped midway on my route home.

a guy approached me to talk.and I was caught off guard and few days later, we exchanged numbers. Planned to walk to place to get food and when I met him to go, he took his phone immediately to call sb. The whole way he even left me behind. He then stopped to ask me what I'm buying ,I told him sth small as I ate late, and he bodyshamed me in public.When he saw I was shocked, he left me standing there and crossed the road to food place. I ignored him, went to buy and left. He saw me ans immediately came infront of me, to prevent me from where I was going. I started to bluff as I was quite scared of this person and he put his hand on me inappropriately. I managed to get away from him eventually. I felt so pissed that he approached me and had so much cruelty towards me while I did nothing wrong.

Few weeks later, I saw him unfortunately and I avoided him. he was shocked. Was he expecting that I accept that cruelty ? Some men are really terrible and wonder why we avoid men who approach us.

I 24f am single and trying to mingle, and I've hated it. When did having labels and being official become so taboo?

I remember when dating and being bf/gf wasnt seen as serious until you’re actually like engaged. I'm not asking for marriage. I just want to be someone's girlfriend and see if it could turn into that down the line but it scares off a lot of ppl I talk to

They want to be in a situationship or say we’re just "talking". Or say we’re “dating” as in going on dates but not actually dating like partnered. There’s all these terms and different stages before being official now. I know the apps are used for hookups too but why go on a DATING app and have no desire to date. I don't want to open up tell you about my ambitions and my history be vulnerable just to hear they never planned on taking me seriously

If you've been seeing someone for a few months and it's going well. Why is saying "this is my girlfriend" so scary? It's not a contract

It's starting to feel like I'm one of the few people that’s actually looking to date in my age group. I just want to find a genuine connection and be treated like idk a real human being. But a lot of people are just so emotionally disconnected. It makes me feel so lonely more lonely than the singleness part. I can’t get to know someone and spend time with them and in the end say I don’t want them in my life and I don’t want them to be my bf. I don’t get it

Would you leave immediately or would you laugh it off?

Feel free to share your experiences and stories about this topic

Hi is it strange that my situationship never gave me his surname during our 7 months hot and cold situationship? I assumed it was his FB name but that was his middle name. It became too awkward to ask after so long, so I never did. I got too worried I’d upset him, because of behaviours he’d told me about with his ex who he spoke about all the time. He breadcrumbed me and played me the whole time I’ve found out since. I was pretty naive I think. I’m blocked everywhere now because that’s what he does. He exploded over a simple observation thats I bought up with him re: his decreased communication with me and he called me childish.

Feeling a little low today. Entertain me by telling me about your newfound icks? I'll go first! I care for a seriously ill family member who has been in and out of A&E the last few days and I had no energy to go on a first date with this guy. His response to me telling him I didn't have the bandwidth this weekend because of my current situation? That I should definitely go on the date with him because his "charisma" and some expensive alcohol would "fix me"! 🫠 The lack of empathy was an instant turn off...

I (27F) matched with this guy (31M) on Bumble about a week ago. His profile said he was “looking for something real.” Green flag, I thought. Naive, I know.

We met at a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. He was already there when I arrived, which I appreciated. He looked like his photos. Normal. We ordered, sat down, and within roughly ninety seconds he started talking about his ex.

Not in a “we broke up a year ago and I’m over it” way. In a “let me walk you through the entire timeline of our relationship, including the specific reasons each of her friends was toxic” way. He had dates. He had screenshots. He mentioned her by name. He said she “destroyed his life” and then said he was “totally fine now.”

I tried to redirect. Asked about his job. He said his job was fine but his ex used to call him during work hours and that was a problem. Asked about his dog. The dog was “the only good thing that came out of that relationship.” I stopped asking questions.

At some point he paused, looked at his phone, and said his battery was dying. Then he looked at my phone on the table and asked if he could use my charger. I said I didn’t have one. He said “oh, do you mind if I just plug it into your phone for a second?” Reader, I still don’t fully understand what he meant.

I said no. He said “fair enough” and then went back to the ex story like nothing happened.

When the check came, he suggested we split it. I paid for my latte and left. He texted me that night saying he had a great time and asked if I wanted to “continue the conversation.” I said I didn’t think we were a match. He replied “your loss” and then sent a follow-up message twenty minutes later asking if I knew anyone who might be interested in him.

I do not.

TLDR: they were obsessed with themself.

While dating an ex, they decided they wanted to display a photo of "us" in their house. When I saw it I thought it was a strange choice.

A friend of theirs ended up seeing the photo and laughing. They said my exes face took up most of it, with me awkwardly in the background. I wasn't even aware the photo was being taken at the time, and it wasn't cute and candid, just strange.

I realized how self-absorbed they were in that moment and got the ick. They'd consistently showed it in small ways, but having one of their closest friends point it out made me see the pattern clearly.

Listen, I was hungry. I just hadn't eaten all day, I was barely surviving off of mountain dew. I ate a giant plate of fajitas and two baskets of chips and salsa. I wasn't eating like a slob, just faster than her. Why does that even matter?

I have written in my bio that I want men to answer a specific question in their first message. I also explicitly stated that if they don't answer this question in a full sentence, I won't reply.

I even took a screenshot of my bio and added it to my profile twice. Once after my first picture and once after my second picture. So even the men who don't read bios will see it while looking through my pictures.

Why do dozens of men message me, yet not a single one answers the question? Not a single one starts the conversation with an answer to that question.

I genuinely don't understand.

Like, what exactly are they expecting to happen when they message me?

Edit: incredible how triggered men get, as soon as a woman doesn't just say YES! to every man no question asked haha and wants compatibility 😂 y'all have no idea what my question is, but your fantasies go wild that it has to be something reaaally offensive 😂 nothing is as fragile as the male ego haha

Tldr met someone on tinder and hadn't met up yet woke up this morning to being blocked but with a happy to see you tommorw text.

I am women and I met this other women on tinder last week. We hadn't chatted much till we exchanged Instagrams. Context we have a very simular kink and so sparks fly. We do some stuff i won't go into detail but she also seems very into it. She texted me a bunch while I was at school (college) and work. I respond after and we chat. I send similar messages after I get off work and she's at work. She's like not now im busy we can talk tommorw. Im like ok you talk to you tommorw.

Important context I was planning on meeting up with her on Friday it was Tuesday night / wensday when we talked mostly. She lives like 30 minutes from me so we couldn't meet up sooner.

I wake up Thursday at like 7 in the morning to see that I was blocked but also with the message I can't wait to see you tommorw.

Im autistic I know this but she seemed very blunt in her communication and im not even mad if she wanted to back out I would have just liked idk somthing or just not to have received the happy to see you message.

Is this hell idk it's my first truly bad experience in dating.

So, I met this guy on Hinge and we hit it off over the messages immediately. We shared interests and didn't live far apart. Since we both own dogs, I suggested we go for a walk, chat a bit, get to know each other personally. He wanted to go to a restaurant. I agreed.

He asked me what I liked, I said I live sushi, but I also like pizza and pasta. I told him there's not much that I don't like except for spicy food and curry. Guess where he took me. A fucking curry bar. Major red flag, but I thought, whatever. I still wanna get to know him.

We sat down and he snapped his fingers at the waitress (which I think is very rude) and then he ordered for me. I didn't even get a word in and you can figure out what he fucking ordered. A spicy curry! I was mentally done at that point and asked the waitress for a salad instead. He gave me this really strange look.

At the end of the date, when the bill came, he just held it out to me (he told he'd like to invite me to the restaurant, so I thought he'd also pay) but I wasn't about to pay for his food after he chose the one thing I told him I didn't like. So I asked for the bill to be split and paid for me own food. He was so fucking pissed off at that and as he walked me to the bus station he kept telling me that this was a test, because I had to learn to trust him if we should get serious and that I had to learn to let him decide for me and I'm still so fucking pissed off about that.

Who does he think he is? And also, how the fuck am I supposed to trust him when he doesn't even respect me and my choices and the boundaries I set. I told him I didn't want to see him again and that I wished him look and now that I'm writing this I'm already annoyed again. Jeez

I 27F met a guy 29M on Halloween. The night of the party the stereo was bad and he asked his mum to drive her soundbox (that he’d gifted her) to the party. She walked in with it and left.

On our first date he got a call, he hung it up and said ”it’s probably my mum”. Over text I made a joke about a picture, ”who are you looking so cute for”, he joked back “my mum”.

On our second date he mentioned a gift she’d given him. Now over text he told me he’d gone on a run to her house, also hinted he’d told her about smth funny I said. I asked if they’re very close and he said that “She also does not have anyone else really” and “would hate if she felt lonely”.

Some of this is very sweet and considerate, but I happen to have dated a mamma’s boy for 3 years and it was so absurd that something she said was actually the last straw (although ofc not the reason I broke up with him). I am SO not doing this again, so all this mum talk is freaking me out.

Talking to a lady on FB dating. kind of average looking but I was attracted enough. On the way down she called, probably just to see if I was really coming. We talked for 45 minutes on the way down. I let her go to park. I got to the meeting point. She walks in, walks up to me. Looks at her phone for an uncomfortable few minutes, says "I have to take this" and sat down. went to the bathroom and I came out and she was gone. I sent her real pics, she knew what I looked like, was dressed nice...lol strangest standup I've ever had. I went into the event (well planned fun date) and they were nice enough to refund me for her ticket. I guess it beats taking her out to dinner. I did message her a bit later to say "everything ok" in case it was a real emergency and never heard a word. LOL

This is a reminder for all the goofy girls.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of passive men (hence, my singleness. I refuse to do all of the emotional labor). Something that keeps me single for all the right reasons is tracking who created the “good moments.”

It’s always me. They linger, they stare, might even purposely ensure that our walks align, but I’m the one who brings the funny, witty, interesting parts of a conversation. Every time we laughed, it was because I made a joke. Every time they were just a little less passive, it was because of my random rambles lol

If you pay attention to how much you contribute and how little they do, you’ll often find that they’re as boring as cardboard. Humor doesn’t have to be the dealbreaker, but from my experience, if they can’t even make you laugh…. I don’t know what else they can do.

Let’s go back to my adolescent years. Due to the bullying and mind games that I endured in middle school, I didn’t think I’d ever have a boyfriend. I associated having a boyfriend with normalcy. I remember being asked out as a joke, hearing “Moose!” Yelled at me when I passed through the hall. There have been quite a few occasions when kids would yell “Hey (my name), this guy likes you!” The guy they were pointing at would yell “Nobody likes you, ugly @$$ b!🤬🤬🤬!” There was even one time a guy had asked me out because his friends paid him $5. It was the summer of 2007 when I got my first real boyfriend, I was 16. He and I met at church because he was visiting his aunt and uncle who attended the same church as me. We’d talk on the phone a lot and sit together and hold hands at church or church functions. When summer ended, he went back home out of state. We would call during the weekend and I wrote letters, weekly. He’d come back during the summer. We went on double dates with his cousin and her boyfriend (now husband). We went on our first date at the movies. This went on until he moved up here for his senior year. Before Thanksgiving break, he broke up with me. After high school I dated this guy who was trash-aged out of Juvie trash, but I gave him a chance anyway-big mistake. He would be in and out of prison, beg me for money, disrespect me and call me out of name, allowed his stupid friends to do the same, cheat on me, borrow my car, left an item in my car that could’ve gotten me in serious trouble, coerced me into “things”-even when I was sick. It took one frightening night for me to finally leave him. The guy after that was just an idiot. He cheated on me and was acting like I was wrong for being upset. The next guy I dated was full of it. He seemed sweet and it looked like he was trying to get himself together, but he was toying with me. He, a Samoan, claimed that his grandmother didn’t want him dating someone who wasn’t also Samoan (I’m black). He broke up with me over the phone while his cousins were laughing at me in the background. A few weeks later I get harassed and threatened over the phone by his ex girlfriend and his cousins over a lie. (Another bullet dodged, Sheesh!) Some time later, I date another guy who is a manager of a McDonald’s. He seemed sweet, ambitious, hardworking, but he was always busy. He seemed to have time for everything and everyone else but me. Being naive as I was, I tried to be understanding. I’d visit him at work, bring him flowers, bake cakes and pies for him, like I was a silly housewife. One day I saw on his social media that he was married and there was a picture with a band on his finger. I left an angry voicemail. I tried to visit him at work and talk things through, but he went to the back and yelled “Tell her to f🤬🤬king go!” It broke my heart. Years later, I would endure a toxic relationship, but I wised up and left before things got worse. I actually have an old journal entry from when I was in that relationship. It’s from 2020.

[I’m not happy in my relationship, but I need to make this work. How?

My boyfriend, let’s call him Daemon, and I only started dating 5 months ago. We started as friends and coworkers back in 2017. I found him to be loquacious and he has a dark sense of humor, but very smart and makes stimulating conversations. I tolerated some of his shenanigans at work but then he starts asking me to hang out with him outside of work. I didn’t think much of it, because I didn’t have any friends and it would be nice to hang out with someone besides my mom, grand aunt, and cousins. Then he started inviting himself come to geek gatherings and conventions with me. Again, I didn’t think much of it to bring him along, but he was so damn talkative, the entire drive and always followed me everywhere-even when I dropped hints that I wanted to wander about on my own and go to certain panels. He took me to one of his friends’ houses. I went to the car, quietly came back and heard them talking. I had found out that he liked me. I didn’t like him that way, but I wanted to dance away from the issue and act like I didn’t hear them and closed the door back. He asked me the next day if I liked him back and I said only as a friend. I thought we were done with it but I was wrong.

Since then he would cuddle me, kiss me on the cheek, hold my hand, walk close to me in public, and if I resisted he would start acting apathetic, say that I was “in a mood” or “having an attitude”, or brush it off and say “you enjoy it.” I don’t even like going to his house or to the movies with him because he keeps putting his arm around me and putting the armrest up so he can move closer. Though if I tell him that I’m not feeling well, he’ll back off, but I can only play sick for so many times. There had been times when he would come over for and celebrate the holidays with me and my family ( I live with my mother and other guests would come over) when the day is over with and I tell him that it’s time to go, he starts acting funny and asking why am I in such a rush to get rid of him. When I say that I’m not and that I’m tired, he says I’m having an attitude with him. We get into a small argument and he leaves. Then I’m left wondering what I did wrong. For some reason, he likes for us to hang out at HIS place instead of mine most of the time. There had been another incident when he and I went out with a friend of his and his wife. His friend jokingly asked when Daemon and I would get married. I said that we weren’t anything like that and I saw him like another sibling. He started to behave apathetically, again. Other times, we’d get along, go to the park, and talk on the phone like normal friends, though it consists of him doing most of the talking and about the same things.

This goes on until 5 months ago when I finally agreed to date him. He was still good to me and I felt like I owed it to him to at least try and see how things went. He calls me his “ray of sunshine” or “his favorite person.” However, the moment I agreed to date him, I had a bad feeling in my stomach. I’m not happy in my relationship. He’s pretentious argumentative, arrogant, most likely a misogynist, makes excuses for the dumbest things, I think he’s gaslighted me from time to time, but I can’t tell, and he tends to make something out of nothing. I still don’t even like for him to kiss me or cuddle me. A woman ought to feel safe or content in a man’s arms, but I feel trapped and smothered-as if I’m being held hostage. I could be talking about something that I like and he would randomly interrupt me and say “relax” or “calm down”. He recently did just that. We were in a Barnes and Noble, I was talking about manga and anime and he interrupts me and says “relax” as he unzips my coat. I’m forced to endure his manosphere/red pill-fueled political tirades. I’m right-leaning myself, almost to the point where I’m practically a conservative, but DAMMIT SHUT UP AND LET ME RELAX AND WATCH TV. He even lectures me sometimes when I don’t agree on something. I find myself agreeing with him just to keep the peace and hopefully to shut him up. He’s even tried to get me to watch certain red-pill, men’s rights, anti-religion (I’m Christian, he’s Atheist), and MGTOW videos. I can’t wait to get away from him, because it’s so exhausting and miserable being around him. He’s even grabbed and squeezed my arm during an argument once and shifted all the blame on me, even when I admitted my fault. I feel as though I let my dumb weak-willed self get strong-armed into this friendship and relationship. Yet, I’m trying to make it work because he really likes me, treated me well, I have very few friends, and this may be as good as it gets for me. I’m too old (30 in April), fat, and homely be picky and don’t have that many options. Think of Princess Fiona in her ogre form, but with a tan, Afro hair, glasses, and acne scars, about to reach spinsterhood. Maybe if I keep him happy, eventually I’ll learn to get used to the bad in him, focus on the good in him, he’ll stop the mind games, and I’ll be content.

I also worry that my childish romantic fantasies of what I think happy and healthy relationships are, also contribute to my dissatisfaction. I always used to, and still do, daydream about dancing, skating, walking around a big mall while holding hands, riding the Ferris wheel at night , playing and walking on a beach, and/or sharing a milkshake like in those old comics like Archie or Lil Abner or those vintage Coke ads, with some unattainable dreamboat like Charles Melton, Bruno Mars, Jay Park, or Pierre XO. I’d feel this lightness in my chest, I’d be glowing, and I’d hear chimes. He’d listen to me talk about things that I like and won’t cut me off and start going on about guns, cars, his computer, or more red-pill garbage. He’d be level-headed, compassionate, and would respect my beliefs. I know it’s stupid and juvenescent to think that an aging ogress like me can have that. I really need to make this work. How do I learn to be content with what I have and learn to love Daemon like he loves me?]

Don’t worry, we broke up a few weeks after that entry was written. Honestly, even before I agreed to date him, I felt like I was dealing with a mild version of Bishop from the film “Juice.” My love life has been pathetic. Top that off with finding out my special friend and crush is married and he didn’t even have the decency or sense to say anything when I told him that I had special feelings for him. I wound up finding out, recently when I was at the skating rink with my mom. Turns out they know each other the military and my mom mentioned HIS WIFE, who goes to her church. I never knew. He never even wore a ring. I’m horsing around with him, making a fool of myself, trying to be content with the fact that he might not have reciprocated what I felt for him and being just friends, and the whole time HE WAS MARRIED. I would’ve backed off a while ago, if I knew. I can’t look at him the same way. I’ll continue being friendly and polite, because we’re in a video game club together, my mom knows his wife, and I want to keep the peace, but I can’t look at him the same way. I can handle not having my feelings reciprocated-I’ve had years of experience with accepting rejection and I’m not owed reciprocation of my feelings. The problem is that if he didn’t disclose that he was married six years ago, when I told him that I liked him and ghosted me for months after I sent him a text message explaining my feelings. I nearly drove myself crazy with mental gymnastics, thinking I was the problem. Oh, and I’ve recently started questioning my sexual orientation after a “reawakening” of sorts, during a vacation.

So went on a date awhile back, nice enough lady.. sit down started to chat. We talk about my kids etc.., I ask about hers, one kid is in jail for beating her now ex boyfriend (he bailed after he got shot 5x) hes in for another few years.. her daughter beat her last 2 bfs and is in kidspeace well was till that afternoon when she snuck out..

I move myself to a seat so I can keep an eye on the door.. im starting to freak out a bit..

I keep chatting try not to be an ass. Meanwhile shes like neither of them would hurt me, and she had moved next to me.. trying to flirt, she literally was rubbing against me.. i was about to fall off the seat as I tried to keep my distance.. id already decided this was way too much of a mess for me to grt into.. she was attractive, but I dealt with enough crazy with my ex.

I got a call from work (im on call 24/7) and made it sound like it was some huge emergency and bailed.

Could have been alot worse.

I almost went on another date, (im a bit of a nudist and I got a dm) as for reference i my 40s. This lady who says shes 41 says shed love to meet and her fam are nudists.. we chat a little, I figure out its the daughter.. and shes like we need to meet up, your perfect for mom etc.. im like fine.. but I wanna do a phone call 1st with mother. She insists on just meeting up.. any case I said no.

one of your closest friends (you’re probably *their* bestfriend) has just told you they have a crush on a mutual who you both met a few months ago - only problem, you also have a crush on the mutual. your friend doesn’t know you have this crush.

your’s (and their) crush has been flirting with you and pursuing you pretty intensely for about a month now. you have thought at times that there is something a bit “sus” between your friend and your crush, but nothing solid until now.

how do you approach this?