So, I met this guy on Hinge and we hit it off over the messages immediately. We shared interests and didn't live far apart. Since we both own dogs, I suggested we go for a walk, chat a bit, get to know each other personally. He wanted to go to a restaurant. I agreed.

He asked me what I liked, I said I live sushi, but I also like pizza and pasta. I told him there's not much that I don't like except for spicy food and curry. Guess where he took me. A fucking curry bar. Major red flag, but I thought, whatever. I still wanna get to know him.

We sat down and he snapped his fingers at the waitress (which I think is very rude) and then he ordered for me. I didn't even get a word in and you can figure out what he fucking ordered. A spicy curry! I was mentally done at that point and asked the waitress for a salad instead. He gave me this really strange look.

At the end of the date, when the bill came, he just held it out to me (he told he'd like to invite me to the restaurant, so I thought he'd also pay) but I wasn't about to pay for his food after he chose the one thing I told him I didn't like. So I asked for the bill to be split and paid for me own food. He was so fucking pissed off at that and as he walked me to the bus station he kept telling me that this was a test, because I had to learn to trust him if we should get serious and that I had to learn to let him decide for me and I'm still so fucking pissed off about that.

Who does he think he is? And also, how the fuck am I supposed to trust him when he doesn't even respect me and my choices and the boundaries I set. I told him I didn't want to see him again and that I wished him look and now that I'm writing this I'm already annoyed again. Jeez

We went to one of the nicest restaurants out there and I was looking forward to our date (he planned jt). We were supposed to meet at 3:30 and by 3:10 he said „Amy, where are you? I am here“ So I was already confused and told him that I would be there at 03:30 like his reservation said. He told me that the place he chose was right next to him and thats why he was early.

And then when we finally met he barely asked any questions about me. It was almost an hour long rant about politics. I felt so uncomfortable and I did not even say anything but he kept on talking and talking.

We both had really fancy dishes but I could not even enjoy my tuna steak since even when the food arrived, he would not stop talking.

The entire date i honestly just wanted to get up and leave but since we already had our food i just thought lets make the best out of it.

At some point we were finished and this guy asks me on the spot if i wanted to see him again. Mind you, he did not find anything about me, and maybe asked 1-2 questions during a 2 hour date. One of them was if i ever dates outside my race.

Nothing about me, my hobbys, my goals, my work, my music etc. This guy only wants to talk about himself and use a woman as a forced listener.

I told him I would text him later and then i sent him a message, saying i didnt feel the connection but that i wish him the best.

He seriously said „Yea i didnt feel the connection either“

I realized I prefer coffee dates now cause I never want to experience something like this again.

Tldr: Guy on Tinder asked to meet at a restaurant then whe I got there he told me he said to meet "by" the restaurant because we're actually going to his place for a first date. Super icky.

So.

I've never walked out of a date before and I have no idea how to even begin this. I'm not a storyteller and I hope I can do this justice.

It's so long I'm sorry.

I matched with a guy, Gary (not real name ofc) on tinder last week. I regret not screenshoting the chat so deeply, but his opening message was:

"Hey, you seem like the type to enjoy a wine and paint night. What's your favorite wine?"

Solid opener. I am in fact into wine, I'm also an artist by trade. My interest was piqued, and so I responded saying that a wine and painting night sounds like so much fun, and then shared some of my favorite wines. Gary complemented my choices, shared some of his favorites and got straight to the point in asking me out. I agreed, and he set a time and place.

Now this is where my memory is admittedly rather fuzzy, and where I the most wish I had screenshotted the texts. I remember his text being "Let's meet at (resturant) at 630pm."

This is relevant for later folks.

Two days later and not many texts between Gary and I, just discussing what we do for work, I leave my job at 4. I rush home, do some quick makeup, change into something cute, jump back onto the bus, and head out immediately to the restaurant because it's an HOUR transit away from me.

I arrive on time, text him, and he says back that he'll be there in a minute. I wait around and eventually see him walking up.

The resturant isnt fancy by any means, but it's higher end. Similar to a Moxie's for those who know what that's like. So I dressed nice for the venue and for the fact that it's a date. Gary shows up in a black tee and sweats.

Immediately not a fan of that, but whatever, let's see how it goes.

We say hi, and I turn to step.towards the resruant but Gary immediately leads me a different way. Saying he needs to pick something up. Confused, but mildly intrigued, I follow along. We talk as we walk a block to a little grocery store. He leads me over to the little wine shop on the side and says we've gotta pick out a wine.

I'm a little confused at this point because the resturant has an excellent(better) wine menu already and definitely wouldn't let us bring/drink our own, but I play along. Besides, it's kinda cute because it's what got us originally talking.

We leave with a decent and affordable bottle (shout out Ontario Rieslings) and start walking back to the restaurant. I'm very hungry at this point as I haven't eaten, and am very excited for dinner.

Just before we reach the restaurant he directs me off into a side road to another building entrance. I immediately clock this as an apartment building. Playing dumb, I ask if this is another entrance to the restaurant. Gary informs me that this is the way to his appartment.

I stop him dead and say that I don't go to people's appartments on the first date. All with a smile of course, but man am I anxious on the inside. He says that he didn't know that about me, and I remind him that he didn't ask.

I ask about the resturant again and Gary informs me that we were never going to the restaurant for dinner, we were having a wine and paint night.

I tell him that there's been a massive miscommunication. I was under the full impression that we were going to this restaurant for dinner, as that is what he texted me originally.

He tells me that he actually said "Let's meet BY (resturant) at 630pm."

Apparently because he lives by the restaurant so we can then go to his place for the wine and paint. None of which was communicated to me.

That's insane, right???

I tell him I was really excited for the restaurant and looking forward to it. I ask if we could go to the restaurant and he says "But we can't paint in there, look at how busy it is OP."

I, frustrated and hungry, asked where we could paint. Gary said his appartment, "but you don't go to people's places so..."

I suggested the park across the street. Saying we should paint there and drink the wine. Gary seems upset that I don't want to go back to his place, but he agrees to the park and decides to head back up into his appartment to get the painting supplies he supposedly bought.

I had about ten seconds to think it over, and turned and walked away.

In my immediate panic of being caught walking out I unmatched on tinder and didn't screenshot the messages beforehand, which is my only regret in this. I want to know if he actually wrote to meet "by" the restaurant or "at" it. Not that I think it matters at the end of the day. I think I was entirely in the right to assume that we weren't doing a wine and painting night since the only time that was ever mentioned was the FIRST MESSAGE AND NEVER AGAIN.

I'm trying to laugh about this now but at the time it was genuinely a really upsetting and icky experience. I felt like he was trying to trick me into going to his appartment through misleading me about what we'd planned to do.

Anyways I went home and my roommate and I got drunk together so the evening turned around I guess.

Edit: Spelling mistakes, I'm so bad at spelling guys mb

I matched with this guy not too long ago on hinge.

We had a lot in common like shows and video games, and had a lot of good conversations. We set up a coffee date about a week ago.

First date:
He showed up 40 minutes late and wore his work shirt on his date. We also split the check, but that wasn’t too bad as typical standards for a first date when you barely know the person.

I decided to give him another chance as he had a lot of good conversations and was really funny.

Second date:

We went to a burger place and he did pay the meal but I paid for drinks. Super respectful and made sure I got an uber.

I felt comfortable enough for the third date to be at his house.

Third date: we went to a local Chinese spot that was super good and we both ended up paying our meals because they were pretty pricy. But plus, he didn’t wear his work shirt this time.

We go to his place. With him knowing we had a date at his house two days in advance, the place was a mess. There were dishes piled in the sink, grease stains all over the kitchen counter, and there was a BLOOD STAIN on his wall. When I asked him what happened, he said oh I just fell and forgot to clean it up.

I’m like what do you mean!?! Like you are bringing a girl over, does not cleaning up the blood stain concern you at all?

I told him I was sick and got an uber so he didn’t have to drive me home. But this is a no for me.
Ladies watch out for yourselves out there.

It's Portland, coffee dates are amazing here, so when the guy I was chatting with said this, I tentatively marked it as some kind of flag.

He suggests...a local dinner chain. It's got a nice view and I'm trying not to be a snob about it but I don't see how this is better than a sweet coffee shop.

We each get a drink, and only one drink, but stay there for 3 hours. My mistake for not just ordering food but he kept sending the server away. He is clearly a storyteller and I'm enjoying it so I let him go on, but I'm noting he's not asking any questions. At some point, I say I'm a leftist and he says he's moderate. I know then that there will not be a second date but he just keeps talking.

He hugs me twice at goodbye time and then the next day, sends me a whole paragraph about how this will never work and I'll just want to date a guy in a keffiyeh and go to protests and hold it all against him.

I don't think it's the coffee shops, my guy.

I wish him the best and then step into a filthy leftist tattoo shop for my appointment 😂

So...I created an account on Facebook dating. That was probably my first mistake. I immediately woke up to 71 likes! Mostly of men who didn't read my profile as I am clear about who I am and what I'm looking for.

Anywho, I (47F) connected with Ken (46M) not his real name and we talked a little bit on the phone and connected well. I thought he was very funny. We talked about past relationships, therapy, self awareness. He is in the food business, so I talked about how difficult it is to be celiac and lactose intolerant and asked in his food business did he serve food that people like me can eat. We had a whole conversation about it

So we plan a date and he gives me the name of the restaurant and I looked it up and was satisfied that there was something I could eat and since it was a grill, had low chance of getting cross contaminated. I'm in the process of moving to his town and spend a good amount of time there. He picks me up at my hotel and then we don't go to that restaurant, he takes me to his buddy's restaurant that's a kind of bar, with battered everything and pub like food. lt also had loud live music and we yelled at each other trying to conversate. So I asked the waitress if there was anything gluten free or lactose free and she said no. So I looked at Ken expecting to go somewhere else. And he ordered! And ate this whole plate of food in front of me! This is after I worked 10 hours that day in my new job. I was exhausted and I hadn't eaten all day long. And I told him that I hadn't eaten all day and was hungry and he kept eating. So I started to get annoyed as I watched him eat his food while I sat next to him starving. I started to think to myself, why am I sitting here with someone dense enough to bring me to a place I can't find something safe to eat. I decided that I didn't have to sit there forever waiting on him to figure things out. So, at about 8:10 I told him I was leaving and catching an Uber back to my hotel to find something to eat. He was like....ok.

I went to the original restaurant we agreed upon and ate food that was safe for me to eat. It's no fun being sick from gluten contamination and I was flying out the next day. I didn't want to be sick on the plane.

I sent him a note and this is what he said.

Me: Sorry Ken. I'm exhausted and I haven't eaten all day.

Him: Hey, we tried the place. Next time it will be a steakhouse.

Me: I'm not sure there will be a next time. I think you are a nice person

Him: All right. Thanks for your time.

I had an amazing steak and 2 glasses of nice Malbec. How is it that I had to feed myself on a first date?

This experience has left me getting off dating apps.

Update: I thought the change in plans might be that he wanted to get a drink and listen to a bit of live music before going to dinner. Previously, he talked about taking me to the restaurant and then to a wine tasting. So I thought maybe he switched up the date to make it interesting. And that is also why I stayed an hour. But then I realized we weren't doing anything else and that was it. Once I realized that I left.

A few years ago I agreed to a blind date. Numbers were exchanged, phone calls were made and she and I planned to have dinner that Friday evening. This is a timeline of said date.

6:45 PM - I arrive at her house to pick her up. I know this seems odd for blind date protocol but she had requested that, rather than both of us meet at the restaurant, I pick her up because her car is not street legal. She walks out of her house dressed fairly nice. The one thing that seemed odd was that she was wearing enough eye makeup to make the likes of RuPaul and Lady Gaga cringe. As she approached the car, I could smell the distinct aroma of vodka. When she hugged me hello I could tell that she had been pre-gaming this date BIG TIME. I opened the door for her, helped her in to the car and away we went to share a magical evening together.

6:55 PM - We arrive at the sushi bar. I had suggested another restaurant for our date - a new locally-owned restaurant that had received terrific reviews and was the talk of the town, but she declined the idea based on the fact that she had never heard of the place and that, for a first date, I should take her some place "nice". The conversation in the car was standard getting-to-know-you stuff. She complimented me on my attire, she requested that music be changed from the alt-rock station to the hip-hop station because she didn't "listen to that faggot shit" and she questioned whether or not I was a serial killer. Y'know, standard stuff.

7:00 PM - We are seated and given menus. She opens her menu and orders a bottle of Tokyo Rose (a combination of saki and plum wine). As the waiter is walking away, my date opens her menu and says, "Know what's weird? I really like jap food but I just can't stand japs!" I look up from my menu and search her face for any trace of sarcasm or irony. I also notice out of the corner of my eye that the waiter, upon hearing this, froze in place for a brief moment, shook his head as if he imagined the whole thing and then went about his business. She then continued on. "I also really don't like: " and proceeded to list every single ethnic and racial slur that I had ever heard and a good number that I had not. The waiter returned with our drinks shortly thereafter.

7:06 PM - After placing our food orders (I ordered a tuna roll, she ordered a salad because the thought of eating raw fish make her sick) she asked me an odd question. "Are you hairy?" I cannot recall if anyone had ever asked me that before and was unsure as to how I should answer. "I'm a 37 year old man, so I do have body hair. I'm not Chewbacca but I don't look like a 10 year old boy either." Apparently this was an issue for her. "Well if we're gonna fuck tonight then we need to wax that shit off because I don't play that way!" I had already decided before the date began that there was to be no fucking, so I was not too worried about being violently shorn that evening. Quick to change the subject, I decided to ask a question that might distract her vodka-and-saki soaked mind. "So do you have any tattoos? I've got one." Her eyes lit up and she nodded excitedly.

7:12 PM - My delicate flower of a date throws her leg on to the table, lifts her pant leg and shows me a tatto that wraps around her ankle. It is some generic-looking tribal pattern with a few kanji characters worked in to the design. She explains that the japanese script are actually the names of her future children, Dylan and Skylar. As she rotates her ankle to show off the design, she knocks the half-empty bottle of saki on to the floor.

7:16 PM - An amused waiter assists me with my attempt to soak up the spilled liqour from the carpet while my date reveals her second tattoo. "My other tattoo is a tramp stamp", she says, loud enough for everyone to hear, "but I don't show that to everybody." Somehow, my brain thinks that it is a good idea to ask why not. Her response? "Because it's a big ol' heart. I got it so that when you're fucking me in the ass, you know that I love you!" The waiter and I lock eyes as I attempt to develop the power of telepathy. I imagine our mental conversation went something like this:

Me: "Dude, you GOTTA help me out here. This chick is a hot mess. Please just get us our food and bring me the check."

Him: "Ha ha ha no way man! This is fucking hilarious! I'm gonna go tell everyone in the kitchen to laugh at your sorry ass!"

He promptly vanished in to the kitchen.

7:23 PM - Our food arrives with the hope that my dining companion might be too preoccupied with her salad to continue to speak. My hope is quickly destroyed. She began talking about her last job and why she was fired from it. According to her, she was working as an office temp when there was some type of altercation between herself and her manager. The reason that she was let go was because "he was too much of a sissy to fight like a man". I still have no idea what that meant and I often times find myself lying awake at night pondering what exactly happened. I tried to change the subject by discussing films. Did she have a favorite film? If so, what was it? As it turns out she was a fan of the cinema. Her current favorite movie? Oliver Stone's "Natrual Born Killers". I also enjoyed the film but for reasons quite different from hers. Instead of citing Stone's use of blunt violence, mixed media, different film stock and the sometimes shocking juxtaposition of the horrors of American suburban life with the colorful, media-happy world of the 1990's, her reason was because "Mallory Knox is fucking HAWT!" She then went on to quotes EVERY SINGLE LINE of dialog uttered by Juliet Lewis in the film.

7:26 PM - "HOW SEXY AM I NOW, FUCKER?", she screamed as she stood in her chair, one foot planted centimeters away from my empty plate. In order to calm things down I decided to switch the subject yet again. This time I decided to learn about her family. I offered that I had one younger brother and two adorable nieces. She said that the only family she had was her mother, with whom she lived. She went in to detail about the fights she and her mother would have on a daily basis and how her mother did not understand the stress that she dealt with in every day life. This, she explained, was why it was vital that she be able to continue her strict regimen of Prozac and Vodka. I could see the stormclouds gathering in her eyes as she went on. "And my momma just don't understand how tough it is! If she would just get a better job then maybe I wouldn't have to collect unemployment! I mean, I have to remember to turn in that paperwork once a WEEK!" The dam holding back her emotions finally burst and she began crying, turning her eye makeup into dark rivers of grief.

7:30 PM - The helpful and courtious waiter appeared at the table looking replendant in his branded apron and shit-eating grin. "Can I get you two anything else?" he offer. I leaned over and said, "Just the check please." He looked at me, looked at the sobbing trainwreck in the opposite chair, turned his head, looked me in the eye and said, "Hmmm, not yet." and again vanished in to the kitchen.

7:35 PM - After ruining two napkins, I was finally able to stop the flow of tears coming from my date. The waiter, realizing that his last stunt more than likely cost him a tip, returned with the check. I quickly gave him my card which he ran with all haste. As I signed the tab, my date said, "So what are we doing now?" as if nothing had happened.

7:45 PM - As I pulled my car on to her street, she said "You're not gonna call me back - I can tell." Not wanting to hurt her feelings (or risk having her go feral while still in my car) I said, "I just don't think I'm the right guy for you." I decided not to enumerate the reasons for this decision, those being that I own no clothes designed by Ed Hardy, I had no illegitimate children, I was not training to be an MMA fighter and, despite being a huge fan of the show "Breaking Bad", I had absolutely no idea how to cook meth. When we pulled in to her driveway she began crying again. "Why is the date over? It's not even 8:00 and I'm not even drunk yet!" I exited the vehicle and opened the passenger side door. Partly because I am a gentleman and partly to give her the hint that it was time to GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR. She stood in front of me crying, her head in her hands. Not being a monster, I decided to give her a hug. As soon as I pulled her close to me she raised her head and SUNK HER TEETH IN TO MY NECK. You did not mis-read that - the crazy bitch FUCKING BIT ME. Thankfully, she did not break the skin. As soon as she released her grip she ran full-speed in to her garage, screaming "FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!" As I got in my car my cell phone rang - it was my rescue call. I answered, staring off into space like Martin Sheen at the end of "Apocalypse Now". "Hey man, how's your date going?", asked my friend. The only thing I could mutter was, "The horror...the horror."

Epilogue: My morning routine is fairly boring. Wake up, check my email, read the news while enjoying a cup of coffee, check my phone for messages - very pedestrian stuff. Every now and then, when I pick up my phone while pouring my coffee, I will find text messages sent between 1:00-5:00 AM from a number labelled "Do Not Answer". Sometimes they are nude pictures, sometimes they are violent threats. Each time, I slowly reach up and rub the spot on my neck which has suddenly began throbbing...

I’m in my 40s and recently went on a first date with a man around my age that I met on a dating app.

His profile described him as very successful and financially comfortable, but “low-key” about it. I genuinely do not care about money, but this becomes relevant later.

We talked on the phone beforehand and he seemed nice, relaxed, and easy to talk to. We originally planned something simple, but ended up meeting near the water instead.

I was late due to a timing mix-up, which was completely on me, and by the time I arrived he had already left because he wasn’t sure I was coming. I apologized, he came back, and once we actually met, the date was surprisingly great.

He was sweet, attentive, and gentlemanly. Conversation was easy. At one point he helped me up and down a sandy slope, and eventually, when we were sitting together, he asked if he could kiss me.

I said yes.

Unfortunately for my future decision-making abilities, he was a very good kisser.

There was some hair pulling. I informed him that I approved. He grinned and pulled me closer.

So now I’m having a fantastic time.

We eventually started making out in his car, and he asked if I wanted to stop by one of his nearby properties.

He works in property investment/management and apparently owns several rental properties. He talks about always looking for his “next project” and describes his schedule as pretty relaxed.

The property he takes me to is a shed.

He plans to renovate it into a small living space.

It is not currently a living space.

It is a shed.

A dusty shed.

Inside is basically a mattress and renovation clutter.

At this point, I do not yet know there is no bathroom.

We start fooling around.

I wasn’t especially enthusiastic about the idea of actually having sex on the Dusty Shed Mattress™, but things were moving in that direction when HE suddenly said something like:

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

And then, almost immediately:

“You’re so skinny.”

I still have no idea whether those two thoughts were connected.

For context, he had been extremely complimentary about my body all day, so I don’t think this was him suddenly deciding he wasn’t attracted to me.

Maybe he thought he would break me.

Maybe he conducted an emergency structural assessment of both me and the shed.

I do not know.

Anyway, we do not have sex.

This turns out to be fortunate because I subsequently discover:

THE SHED HAS NO BATHROOM.

He says he plans to install one during the renovation.

Great.

Love that for Future Shed.

Current Shed remains without plumbing.

Then things get stranger.

At some point he becomes very interested in whether we have mutual acquaintances.

He asks about social media connections and seems unusually concerned about whether we know any of the same people.

Then, after we had fooled around, he says something like:

“You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”

Followed by another question about whether we might know the same people.

Excuse me?

He had mentioned earlier that some members of his family are very socially connected and intrusive about his dating life, so MAYBE that explains it.

I genuinely don’t know.

Also, despite spending hours with this man, I still don’t know where he actually lives.

I know where the shed lives.

He remains geographically mysterious.

But wait.

We still haven’t gotten to the cash.

At some point this allegedly “successful but low-key” man excuses himself to go back to his car and retrieve a backpack.

He comes back with it.

Then takes out rolls of hundred-dollar bills.

And casually remarks that he carries way too much cash.

Sir.

Nobody asked.

There was no preceding conversation in which I challenged your liquidity.

YOU WENT TO THE CAR AND RETRIEVED THE CASH BACKPACK.

At this point, “low-key” is beginning to feel like an extremely flexible concept.

We eventually go get food.

And somehow the date becomes normal again.

We have drinks and appetizers. Conversation is good. I’m genuinely enjoying myself.

Then we start talking about children.

I explain that I cannot have biological children and that this has been painful for me.

To his credit, he is actually very kind about it. He checks if I’m okay and says he’s sorry I went through that.

Then he tells me he has always hoped to meet someone he could have a child with.

Ouch, but fair. I appreciated the honesty.

Then he starts asking whether I’m absolutely sure pregnancy is impossible.

Could I be tested again?

Could I see a doctor?

What about adoption?

This is our FIRST DATE.

For the record, even if pregnancy were medically possible for me, it is not something I would choose at this stage of my life.

So now I’m sitting across from a man I met several hours ago who is effectively troubleshooting my fertility because he is hoping to find someone to have a baby with.

A few hours earlier, this prospective future mother of his child was half-undressed with him on a mattress in a dusty shed without a toilet.

I cannot adequately explain the cognitive dissonance.

He apologized for upsetting me, we moved on, and honestly still had a nice time.

He said he would like to see me again, or at least stay friends.

So now I’m home trying to understand what exactly I experienced.

The facts, as I currently understand them:

He says he is financially successful but low-key.

He owns multiple properties.

He spends his days looking for his next real estate project.

He carries rolls of cash in a backpack and apparently felt compelled to show me.

I do not know where he actually lives.

I do know the location of his dusty shed.

The shed has a mattress.

The shed does not have a toilet.

He is unusually concerned about whether we have mutual acquaintances.

He asked me not to tell anyone we fooled around.

His social media is difficult for me to access while he was interested in mine.

His family is apparently socially connected and intrusive.

He wants to find someone to have a baby with.

He may or may not have decided sex with me was medically inadvisable because I am too skinny.

Also, he has an Android, which I understand is not admissible evidence but feels spiritually relevant.

I actually liked him.

He was sweet to me.

He was respectful physically and asked before kissing me.

He was a fantastic kisser.

He was compassionate when I talked about infertility.

Nothing frightening happened. I never felt coerced or unsafe.

And yet I woke up the next morning thinking:

What the actual fuck was that?

I’m not even particularly invested in whether I see him again.

At this point I mostly want answers.

Where does he live?

Why did we go to the shed?

Why can nobody know about the shed activities?

Why did he retrieve a backpack full of cash?

What was going to happen to me because I was “so skinny”?

And most importantly:

If you are actively searching for the future mother of your children and you allegedly own multiple properties, why are you courting her in the one without a bathroom?

EDIT: I humbly apologize to everyone whom I’ve offended with my comment about Android phones. That comment stemmed from an ongoing joke I have with my friend who has an Android and we tease one another because she is very anti-apple. She was here when I wrote this and suggested I add it in for laughs. I have had an Android phone in the past myself and find nothing “shameful” about them.

Also, y’all need to calm tf down. And to those of you who continue to insult my intelligence, kindly go elsewhere. No one forced you to read my post. Thanks! 😊🫶

EDIT: I shared this because I thought it was a bizarre, funny dating story and figured other people might get a laugh out of it too. I’m perfectly capable of laughing at myself, but some of the comments have crossed the line from joking into being unnecessarily cruel and abusive. At this point I’m no longer interested in interacting with the post. I will be asking a moderator to disable future comments. Thanks to everyone who laughed with me instead of using it as an excuse to be nasty to a stranger. 💜

UPDATE: know I said I was done interacting with this post, but apparently the universe has ordered one final episode.

Our entire conversation thread on the dating app is now just…gone. His profile is gone too—or, at minimum, I can no longer see it.

Because curiosity has defeated dignity, I Googled his phone number. Nothing. Then I entered the number into Venmo and Cash App just to see whether a name/account would populate. Also nothing.

To be clear, none of this proves anything. He could have unmatched me, deleted or paused his profile, changed his settings, used a number that isn’t connected to those services, etc. There are plenty of completely ordinary explanations.

I am simply reporting that the man who was intensely concerned about whether we had mutual acquaintances, asked me not to tell anyone we fooled around, showed me a backpack full of cash, took me to a shed instead of wherever tf he actually lives, and has now vanished from the dating app has become even less Googleable than the shed.

I continue to know where the shed lives.

The man remains geographically and digitally mysterious.

That is all. If I happen to find out more I will update. 😂

What a fucking weird weekend…

UPDATE: because apparently this story refuses to die…

He texted me today around 5:45 in the afternoon and asked how my day was.

I told him it was good and asked how his was.

That was hours ago. He has not responded.

So after disappearing from the dating app, shed guy has apparently reappeared via text just long enough to establish that he is, in fact, still alive.

That is literally the entire update. 😂 I have no idea what it means, and at this point I only hope that he responds to my questions when I “casually” text him tomorrow.

Also, for the people saying I made this whole story up with AI: I genuinely don’t know what to tell you. It happened. If I were going to invent a wealthy mystery man for internet attention, I probably would’ve given him a bathroom.

UPDATE: Apparently we have entered the hot tub chapter???

For anyone following along: yes, he did eventually text me again.

Yesterday he asked how my day was. I answered, asked about his, and then heard nothing for almost 24 hours. Today he replied that his day was good and that he was feeling a little tired today. (Whether we were still discussing yesterday or had moved on to today, I honestly have no idea.)

I said managing all those properties must be a lot of work, no wonder he’s tired.

He then informed me that he’s putting in a hot tub for the winter and said maybe I could try it out with him.

And my immediate thought was:

NO.

And then I wondered:

WHERE?

Where is the hot tub going, sir?

At your house? WHICH HOUSE?
At one of the properties? WHICH PROPERTY?
Beside Future Shed?
Is the shed getting a hot tub before it gets a bathroom?

How does the shed feel about all this?

I still do not know where he actually lives. I’m going to ask him, I’m just treading carefully now. 🤫

So no, I have not agreed to Hot Tub Date.

I am currently just fascinated that every time this man contacts me, he reveals another feature of his property portfolio without revealing where and how tf he lives.

As of now, this is what we’re working with…

Future Shed: no bathroom.
Mystery Property: hot tub pending.
Shed guy: address unknown.

I will update you if he announces the addition of a sauna before telling me where he lives.

Update from the Murder Shed:
OOP here…
I’m alive. Thank you for your concern.
Unfortunately, the shed still doesn’t have plumbing, and my host has informed me that the hot tub installation is experiencing delays.
On a positive note, I’ve been promoted from hostage to property manager.
I would provide more details, but apparently I have the survival instincts of a potato, and I’m currently being outsmarted by the other root vegetables.
Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.
P.S. Still haven’t gotten my pumpkin spice latte. 😒😠😭

ACTUAL UPDATE
Despite trying to find out more, shed guy has disappeared. I have a feeling, like many of you said, that he is either married with kids, has a serious partner or was looking for a baby mama to “hide” from his mysterious and powerful family. Who knows…
I’ve officially retired from dating, effective immediately. My remaining survival instincts will be dedicated exclusively to avoiding men and locating seasonal beverages. 😊😍😂

I shared this story once in askReddit.

I've only been on a blind date once, a friend of mine had the brilliant idea that I would be simply PERFECT for a male friend of hers. I had been single for awhile and since I wasn't having any luck on my own, why not get a little boost from a friend.

Important part of the story, I made it clear with my friend that the guy she was setting me up with was fine with girls on the 'darker' side of life. I've always been weird, gothy and nerdy, and while I don't exclusively date other goths, I just wanted to be polite so he wouldn't be shocked to see a girl with a septum ring and an extremely pale complexion. She assured me that not only did he like goth girls, he liked Lord of the Rings, and science fiction books as well.

I was actually really excited for this date, it was agreed that we'd meet for dinner and then go see a movie. Standard first date fare. We met and I thought he was cute and he seemed very nice and polite and I mentally made a note to thank my friend for her matchmaking.

We got appetizers and discussed boring things and after the appetizer was cleared and we were waiting for the main dish, he asked how things were going and I said that I was having a lovely time.

Then he dropped the bombshell. He had a very serious expression and said that in order for "me to be with him", some things had to change. I stupidly asked "what do you mean?". WELL he was ready to tell me what had to happen for me to be with him and "be seen with him".

• Remove all my piercings

• Remove my tattoos (I actually had no tattoos at the time)

• Stop with the 'goth' look, don't worry, he was going to take my shopping and he assured me he had 'excellent' taste

• Get a tan

• Grow my hair out and dye it a "normal" colour (My hair was short and dyed black)

• Lose weight (I am 1.76m tall and I weigh 60kg give or take. For Americans, I'm 5'8 and I weigh 140lbs)

• No more video games, no more D&D

• No more horror movies (I mentioned I only really like horror movies)

After ALL that, then I would be "ready" for him to be seen with me and to "accept me" as a girlfriend. He didn't say this in a mocking tone, he was quite serious that he was willing to pay for me to be wholly made over and then I'd be awesome.

At this point, I probably had a really stupid expression on my face. My face felt like it was on fire, I almost wanted to cry and I kept opening my mouth to say something, but no words would come. So I probably looked like a baby bird with a tomato face.

He was really chuffed with himself and kept telling me how I looked rubbish now, but once I got a tan and started dressing and acting like a "normal girl", MAN would I be a knockout!

The waitress came over with dinner and she have me an odd look, probably because I looked quite insane and to be honest, my head was still spinning. I've been picked on and bullied a lot, but this was almost worse in a way, than when people used to spit on me and throw garbage.

Now, this part is a little bad. In my haze of rage/hurt, I pushed my plate of paste over to him and unceremoniously dumped it in his lap. I grabbed my purse and walked out of the restaurant. Then, I got frightened, thinking he might come and beat me up, so I hid for a bit and then called a friend to come pick me up. I know it's not right to dump food on people, and it's not right to waste food but... it just happened.

Not gonna lie, I went home and spent the evening sobbing. The next day, my friend who had set up this disaster was curious to know how it went, and I told her. She was shocked. She wasn't angry at me, she was furious with this guy and I wasn't angry at her, she clearly had no idea it would go so badly.

To this day, I don't know what his deal was. Maybe he wanted a girlfriend he could "build from the ground up"?

Also, since the date, I have not changed my style or my appearance. I might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I'm happy being "spooky and nerdy" and I don't need to compromise my appearance to find someone to love me.

Plus, giving up video games and horror movies is simply not possible :)

He tells me we’re getting ice cream and then going to a movie. I’m thinking, “Cute, there’s probably a theater by the ice cream place.”
We get there, he tells me to order whatever I want, I do… and then he doesn’t order anything. I was like, “Aren’t you getting something?” He goes, “No, I’m lactose intolerant.” SIR. YOU PICKED THE ICE CREAM PLACE. So I’m just sitting there eating ice cream by myself while he watches me. 😭
Then he’s like, “Ready for the movie?” I’m like, “Yeah! What are we seeing?” He goes, “It’s at my apartment.”
Immediate red flag.
The whole time we’d been talking before this, he’d made a huge deal about how he only sleeps with people in serious relationships, had only been with one or two people, didn’t want to rush anything, etc. So I specifically dressed pretty modestly because I wanted to respect that.
We get to his apartment… and he has a roommate. A roommate he never introduces me to. They apparently SHARE A CAR. I’m awkwardly like, “Uh… hi, I’m Caroline,” while the roommate looks completely unfazed, which honestly made me think, “Oh… this happens a lot.”
Then we go into his room.
Girl.
TV on the floor.
Mattress on the floor.
One pillow.
A lamp… on the floor… with no lampshade.
I’m thinking maybe he’s just shy and awkward, so whatever, we’ll just watch the movie.
Then he opens his closet… and a cat comes out. The litter box and food are IN THE CLOSET. The room already smells like cat pee. The cat immediately hisses at me and tries to attack me. I ask if we can let her out, and he says no because she’ll attack his roommate.
So we’re watching Spider-Man while locked in a room that smells like cat piss with an angry closet cat.
Then he tells me to “relax,” starts cuddling me, and then it escalates into him grinding on me and trying to make out with me. Meanwhile I’m just sitting there thinking, “I thought YOU were the one who said you didn’t want to rush into anything.”
Also… the kissing was HORRIFIC. He literally just pressed his lips against mine and… didn’t move. Like a dead fish. I cannot explain how uncomfortable and bad it was.
Then he ends up basically undressed except for his underwear while I’m still completely clothed. Meanwhile, THE CAT STARTS SPRAYING THE WALLS. So now the room actively smells like fresh cat pee.
Then, completely out of nowhere… he finishes in his underwear… looks at me… and goes, “Okay, you can leave. I have to get up early.”
EXCUSE ME???
So I awkwardly leave. We get to my car, and instead of even giving me a hug goodbye, he literally just turns around and walks back inside.
AND THEN…
I get home.
This man texts me:
“Did you expect us to have sex?”

Edit: Y’all… I know. 😂 I should’ve left. At the time I was really new to dating and kept thinking, “Surely this can’t get any weirder.” I know better now, and if this happened again I’d be out after the first few red flags. This was meant to be a funny dating horror story, not an example of good decision-making.

I'll try to keep it short. TL;DR- New to NYC, Tinder date boring, went back to his place, he's a creepy nazi. (Edit: "cursed" Photo of the room is now in comments)

This was 4 years ago, so I don't remember all the details of the date leading up to THE ROOM. ANYWAY. I had just moved to NYC, and was all about that new experiences and dating scene. Super excited because I was finally over 21 and in decent shape. So, one night on a tinder date, this happened.

Met up with the guy. Not super attracted to him or anything, but I was just really into meeting new people and grabbing drinks or whatever. He ended up picking this hotel lobby bar in the middle of nowhere Manhattan and couldn't have been any more boring. After two drinks, I suggested we walk around or hang out at his place since I was starting to feel mad awkward at this Brightly lit, small bar in the middle of a crappy bright white hotel lobby. It was Not the kind of place you sit and talk. Anyway, we walked around a bit, still no conversation I can even remotely remember, and I wanted to go leave, but I didn't want to go home so early and be bored the rest of the night, so I said "Your place?" I was really casual about it and in no way was insinuating sexytimes or anything, and he didn't seem to take it that way either, which was good.

We get there and there are what appear to be collector showcase things you'd seen in grandparents' homes (usually filled with glass scuptures or chatchkes) everywhere, And they were full of Kids Meal Toys. Old Ones. Okay, little weird, but I'm pretty open minded, and am into some unpopular fandoms and whatnot, so whatever. He's giving me the tour when we get to his bedroom. SHIT. Giant metal nazi eagle with swastika mounted ABOVE HIS BED. Creepy line drawing right under it. Small, mounted shelves filled with even more kids meal toys against a large white wall. And on either side of the bed, he had mounted TOILET PAPER holders/rolls, and a cupholder from gosh knows where. Queen sized bed. EVERYTHING was white. I grew up culturally jewish, so the giant swastika above the bed was enough for me, but I had to ask... He explained that he "collected things"... CLEARLY, but WHY THAT! I VERY cautiously noped the fudge out of there, but not before snapping a picture of the place in case anyone ever doubted this nonsense. Will link pic if anyone's curious, wasn't sure if there's a subredit for those kinds of pics.

So my buddy filled me in on his Halloween night disaster, and I haven't laughed that hard in a good while

​To set the scene: he'd only been on one date with this girl before and he is super into her. He was so excited, got fully dressed up in costume, and drove a two hours just to meet up with her, her sister, and all her friends at a Halloween party.

​Fast forward a bit, and he notices a massive puddle of red liquid everywhere. Because he was pretty drunk, his brain completely bypassed "I'm bleeding to death" and went straight to, "Ah cool, I must have sat in spilled wine." Zero pain, so he just kept chilling and went back to an after-party at some random house.

​He goes to the bathroom to try and clean up, standing there wiping himself and getting more and more confused because the "wine" just keeps coming. Then, the girl walks into the bathroom while he's dealing with it, looks down, and sees blood actively dripping onto the floor.

​She takes one look and goes, "Oh my god, that's not red wine."

​And because things couldn't possibly get worse, she proceeds to make him bend over and spread his cheeks right there in the bathroom to investigate the source. Confirmed: a hemorrhoid had completely blown out.

​To top it all off, he was so mortified because she ended up telling her sister and the rest of the friends, that he still had to hang around with with several hours. Screenshots of the text, immediately called him for more info as well.

TLDR: Friend drove two hours in full costume for his second date ever with a girl, meeting her sister and entire friend group, only for a medical emergency at the bar to get brutally exposed in the bathroom.

TL;DR: Went on 2 dates with a “nice guy” who believed I owed him compliments and affection because he was nice

So this is from about 4-5 years ago when I was in grad school. I’ve always had a lot of difficulty navigating the dating world and at least I finally know why. I’m on the autism spectrum, so I have a lot of difficulty with eye contact, interpreting body language/facial expressions, and reading people’s intentions. However, at the time I didn’t know I was on the spectrum, so I was SUPER self-conscious about my lack of dating experience, was constantly questioning myself, felt stupid, and believed anything that went wrong was all my fault.

After some encouragement from friends, I signed up for OkCupid and decided to give it a try. I received lots of requests for hookups which I ignored because that’s definitely not what I was looking for. I had some conversations with a few guys but they were only short lived. Finally this guy (let’s call him R) messaged me and seemed super interesting and charming. He messages were littered with compliments that were nice to hear seeing that I had really low self-esteem. He also worked as a musician (I was going to school for music) so it was nice to have that in common. I decided to give it a whirl and met up for coffee.

We get to the coffee shop and he’s waiting with a HUGE bouquet of roses. Spectacle usually makes me very uncomfortable, but I thought the gesture was very thoughtful. He pulled the chair out gesturing me to take a seat and we began our date. After a series of compliments, he began to list all of the things he absolutely would not tolerate in a relationship because he “was worth more than that.” I kind of figured woah buddy slow down this is date one but I also figured it seemed perfectly reasonable to state what you’re looking for and not looking for.

Anyway, the date ended, he paid for the coffee, I thanked him, and agreed to a second date (the coffee date had to be very brief because we had a limited time to meet that day and I didn’t feel I could get a solid yes or no yet). Once I get home, R sends me a text saying he had a great time and that he looks forward to our next date. I say thank you, that I look forward to it too, and then went to bed.

The next day, I go to class as usual. I put my phone on silent or turn it off while I’m in class because well... I’m in class. Once I have my first break, I look at my phone to see dozens of texts from R. They started with “good morning” and more compliments, but as they progressed they sounded very angry that I wasn’t responding. I texted him back apologizing saying that I wasn’t ignoring him and that I simply could not text him while I was in class. He called bs on it saying “it’s not that hard to send a text” and essentially said something along the lines of “I really should bail on you for being so rude and inconsiderate, but I’ll give it another chance since you’re so pretty and seem apologetic.” He also went on about how he was such a nice guy and all he wants is to have his kindness and effort be appreciated. Since I assume everything is always my fault, I apologized.

Our second date comes and we agreed to to do something outdoors since I was dog-sitting. He said he liked dogs and that he didn’t mind, so we went to an outlet mall where they had plenty of places to sit outside. The whole time we are walking, I notice that he refused to walk next to me and mostly stood very close behind me. He kept shifting around and I noticed he’d move himself to essentially act as a shield anytime another guy was anywhere near me. I asked him about it and he responded saying he’s “old school” and was simply interested in looking after my safety. Seemed odd since I’m literally walking a large gsd mix in a public place and in broad daylight. I felt like I was made out of glass the whole time.

Once we get to where we were eating and sit down, R opens with a barrage of concerns he has about me. He starts by saying I’ve insulted him by accepting all of his compliment without “returning the favor” with compliments of my own. He said he didn’t feel he deserved this because of how nice he has been to me. Being the naive idiot I was, I thought it somehow made sense. I internally screamed at myself for being rude since R’s not the first person to accuse me of being rude for something I didn’t even realize I was doing. He also said that since this was date #2, he was “making an investment”(yes... he actually said that) and that I needed to do the same. He told me that even though we weren’t “official,” that he expected any woman he went on more than one date with to be exclusively seeing him and nobody else. He didn’t want to put in the money and effort if it meant she’d only pick someone else. I was literally being talked to like I was a child. I didn’t say anything at the time bc I actually felt like I was in the wrong and completely froze.

Once we finished eating, I offered to split the bill with him since I didn’t want him to feel he needed to pay for everything. I told him it would make me feel better knowing I contributed. R responded by saying no and that I could contribute by showing him the appreciation he “deserved.” After the date ended, I felt completely burned out and exhausted.

A few days later I went to lunch with some of my guy friends who had lots of questions about my date. I didn’t really want to talk about it since I was embarrassed and confused, but agreed because they all seemed so excited. I asked for as much dating advice as I could since I felt like I had no idea what I was doing and that I felt like I was disappointing R. When they asked me to elaborate, I explained what happened. They seemed shocked and super upset. Again, I thought it was me but to my surprise they were all pissed at him and explained this was super predatory behavior. They explained to me what a “nice guy” was and that R was trying to weaponize my misplaced guilt and issues with low self-esteem to paint himself as this amazing man that’s being victimized and taken for a ride. Needless to say, I told R that I didn’t think it was going to work out and no longer wanted to see him. Of course, he complained that “nice guys finish last” and that I wasted his time and money by leading him on. I’m much more verbal now with friends if something doesn’t feel right and aware that if you have to constantly talk about how nice you are, you’re probably putting up a front. So ya... “nice guys”... never again.

Sorry for my English it's not my first language so there might be some mistakes! But anyway I need to ramble so let's begin.

Okay, a bit of backstory: my friend and I went to a Halloween party yesterday. We met two guys at the party. My friend and the other guy hit it off and left me and the second guy alone. We talked. It was okay like you know small talk. Like about where we lived and what we do for fun. He told me that he makes music and his favourite place to brainstorm his music is surprisingly very close to my house. So we decided that we should go on a date where he can show me his favourite spots and hear his music. Not a solid plan but you know, go with the flow.

Okay now to today. He sent me a message saying “Hey, can we meet up at 6 pm today” and we formed the idea that we were going to get sushi and then go for a car ride where we would listen to music. Pretty simple plan. Nothing serious.

3 minutes before 6 pm, he sent me a text “Hey, I’m running a bit late” 30 MINUTES LATER he showed up at the spot we decided to meet up. He doesn’t apologise for being late. Which is fine, sometimes shit happens. We got our sushi. (The only good thing about this date)

Okay anyway, we get to his car, we turn on music and talk about mindless things. We get to his spot where he brainstorms all his “crazy” music. It’s a pretty good spot; you can see all of the skyscrapers and the highway but it's in a parking lot in the middle of nowhere.

There we get to talking about what got him into music. He tells me straight up “I don’t really want to be a famous musician cuz like I know when my music comes out I know I will be” He tells me how much he loves the lyrical part of the process. He loves storytelling. Love the confidence but like mate nothing prepared me for what his music was actually like.

Before we get to listen to his song somebody calls him. He says “Oh, it’s my dad” answers the call and a girl's voice comes out the other end where she just says “Hi,” before he hung up. She tried to call another time. He didn’t pick up the call. I asked who was it, AND HE SAYS “I just have a really hard time like..-“ didn’t end his sentence. “It’s (the girl's name), we met at a bookstore and now she won’t leave me alone” he goes on a whole tirade about how getting his music out is so hard and how he’s trying to get “connections”. I don't know how that has to do with anything with this girl.

Then he says that his life is like a movie, or like someone should make a movie about his life. This is said like completely seriously. He explains it's because he’s like Spider-Man because he changed his entire personality and form in one day. (Idk man that just sounds like puberty to me but how would I know, right?)

Then he starts burping out of nowhere. Like a lot. Like I think for a second he’s going to puke. He doesn’t. Then suddenly he says “I gotta go piss” were literally in the middle of a parking lot in middle of nowhere, there’s no WC. You can imagine where he will go to do his business. After he comes back and DOES NOT CLEAN HIS HANDS.

Then he tells me his super great idea about marketing his music. He’ll go to cafes and like listen to his music there. Being super mysterious, as he said. He said that it already kinda worked because some boys yelled “James Bond” at him. Right as if. He says he will never put his music on social media because he’ll get enough fame just for his music.

Then finally we get to listen to his music. The song name is “Fantasy”. It’s about how one day he’ll be so rich and live in a mansion with his “bitches” and get high on mushrooms every day. Right. Lyrical genius. All that praise for himself, maybe he’s an okay rapper? No. It’s like 2 seconds off the beat and the rhythm doesn’t make sense at all. It’s so off-pitch, it’s like someone who’s never actually learned about singing. It was horrible.

Right at this point I was like it’s been an hour, I’m ready to go home from this shitshow. I sent my sister a text that she had to call me. She did, and I made an excuse to leave. He’s talking about a double date with the friends mentioned before I’m like “Sure, mate” and then when I got home I blocked him.

Sorry for my rambling I just needed to write this down because I’m still not like certain this is real. He seemed so normal yesterday. And now he’s like a comedy character.

TL;DR: went out with a guy and he spent most of the date mentioning how every single ever wanted him.

The title pretty much sums it up.

This guy and I had liked each other on and off for a while. We both came from the same home town but had gone to different high schools. A few times a year, it would seem that we'd bump into each other, as we rotated in some of the same friend groups, especially in the latter part of HS and after graduation, when we started going to get together's and parties.

We'd bump into each other after months and months of not seeing the other, reconnect and have a great time together, and then go out separate ways with the promise to stay in contact and catch up sometime, but of course that would never happen, life would get in the way and the cycle repeated. This went on from about the ages of sixteen, through to nineteen, when I moved away for college.

A year or so later, I bump into him at college. He had worked for two years after finishing high school, and was now studying. We exchange numbers, have a quick catch up between classes and he asks if it's okay to ask me out sometime. Great, I thought. We got along well as friends, and we had both liked each other in the past, so I was looking forward to getting to know him on a deeper level.

He texts me about a week later and asks if I'd like to have lunch with him the next day. I agree and we make plans for the next afternoon.

The date started out well. We knew each other beforehand so there wasn't as much awkwardness or nervousness. We have a bit in common and the conversation is easy. The waitress comes over and asks if we'd like more drinks, and after she leaves he asks if I noticed anything about her. I was confused, so said no. "You didn't notice her checking me out?" he asked me. She may have done, but in all honesty, I wasn't paying that much attention to her. I was pretty certain she hadn't, but I didn't think too much of it. That was until we went for a walk through town afterward. The restaurant was near to a beach, so we went for a walk through town and along the boardwalk.

Nearly every woman we passed, he would make comments about her looking at him. Even if the woman wasn't facing us and even if she didn't look at us, she apparently was checking him out. For the next hour, while we walked, I was subjected to comments like, "did you seriously see that? She was looking straight at me." We went into a small shop to get milkshakes, and he whispered to me after the lady had made our orders, that she was "eye-fucking him."

To this day, I don't know why he was doing that. I don't know if he did this all the time, whenever he was out, or if he was trying to illicit a jealous reaction from me, in the hopes that I would get all territorial over him, therefore boosting his ego? Like, I don't know, but I felt super awkward, and he seemed oblivious to me, his only focus being other women we were walking past and him trying to convince me that he lived in a world where every single woman was attracted to him.

He asks me out again the next weekend, but I declined and told him that I didn't think it would work out romantically. He interpreted this as me admitting to being jealous of other women. I told him no, that was not the case, and I explained that I actually felt uncomfortable with his constant pointing out of other women and how they all wanted to bed him. He then took this to mean that I was trying to be possessive of him, and again I disagreed. We had a bit of pointless back and forth, with him insisting that I was jealous. I got fed up after that, wished him well, and deleted his number.

The change in this guy, from when we had partied together and been friends, to when we went out, was just incredible. As friends, I had never had any inklings or suspicions that he thought himself to be a gift to womankind. If anything, it was the opposite. He was just so kind and down to earth.

There is a kind of silver lining to this story, as another girl from our college, he had been out with messaged me over social media after he had spent their date pulling the same stunt, but mentioning me by name. We got talking, and now we're really good friends and still see each other to this day.

So I (26F) matched with this guy (29M) on Hinge about two weeks ago. His profile was normal. Pictures with a dog, a hiking photo, one of those mirror selfies at the gym that every guy seems to have. We texted for a bit, he was funny, not overly pushy. When he asked me to dinner, I figured why not. Standard low-stakes first date.

Dinner itself was fine. He was a little intense about his job in commercial real estate, but whatever. I asked questions, he answered them. He asked me maybe two things about myself. I noticed, but I let it slide because the food was good and I was trying to be open.

Then the check came. He paid, which was nice. We walked outside and stood on the sidewalk for a minute doing that awkward “what now” shuffle. And then he said it.

“Hey, I know this is random, but I have to stop by this building I’m trying to lease. It’s empty right now. Want to come see it? It’s abandoned. Kind of cool.”

I just stared at him. This man really looked at a woman he met on a dating app, after one dinner, and thought “abandoned commercial property” was the move. I told him I was good, I had an early morning. He said “okay, no worries” like I’d declined a second drink.

I got in my car and texted my roommate what happened. She replied with a single word: “RUN.”

We did not go on a second date. I saw him on Hinge a week later with the same gym selfie. Almost swiped right again just to see if he’d learned anything. Almost.

Long read, but worth it…

So, this all happened a few years ago – I met a guy through mutual friends while I was out drinking one night. For the purpose of this story, let’s call him Jim. That night me and Jim got on like a house on fire, had a great laugh, exchanged numbers and even had a bit of a kiss at the end of the night.

We agreed to meet up a few days later for coffee, which came and passed without issue, we had a lovely time. Over the next few weeks we had a few ‘day dates’, and although I enjoyed his company and always had fun, there was something in the back of my mind that kept telling me “something isn’t quite right here…” – for example, he was quite forgetful – he quite often had to think hard about what my name was before saying it. Or, if we’d arranged to meet, he’d text/call 6 or 7 times beforehand saying “so we’re meeting today at 1pm yeah?”, almost like it was the first time he’d asked it every time.

I mentioned it in passing to the friend that had initially introduced us – she then came out with “Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you did I…Jim was in a massive car accident a few years ago. He was in a coma for a while. Had to learn to walk/talk/drive/do everything again. He was quite seriously brain damaged…but he seems ok now right?” I agreed that apart from the forgetfulness, I’d not seen anything that had caused me any concern. Next time I spoke to him I mentioned that I knew, and we just went from there. At this stage we’d had three or four dates, I liked him, and we’d got to the point where we wanted to spend some proper ‘alone time’ together (he’d been living with his parents since his accident, and I still lived at home so we didn’t have much opportunity for privacy). We decided that we’d book a hotel for the night one Saturday night.

So the night came around, we decided that we’d have a few drinks in the room then head into the town centre for a few more drinks. He’d brought a couple of bottles of red wine, which I declined. He got stuck in nonetheless, and as things got a bit steamy, I didn’t realise just how quickly this wine was going down. By the time we were ready to head into town, no two ways about it, he was hammered. (I discovered afterwards that due to the brain injuries he sustained in his car crash, he was not meant to drink anything AT ALL. A few sips of wine to him were the equivalent to a whole bottle for someone else). I tried to persuade him that going to town and drinking more was not the sensible thing to do, but he wasn’t having any of it.

On the walk into town, he behaved like a total liability – shouting loudly at other pedestrians, shouting loudly at me, I had to stop him from hugging people on the street etc. I was mortified. We were turned away from pretty much every bar we went to in town – made all the more mortifying by the fact it was only about 7.30pm.

After half an hour or so, I gave up, and said we should go back to the hotel. But, as we were walking we passed another bar, he decided we should go in as his friend was probably DJ’ing and reluctantly I agreed. (This bar has a reputation in our town of being a bit of a drugs den – it’s always playing heavy house music at massive volume – really not my thing at all). Miraculously we weren’t turned away, and then he ordered the biggest bottle of champagne behind the bar. We went and sat on a sofa for a few minutes then he told me he was going to find his friend.

I sat on the sofa alone, for nearly half an hour, just the bottle of champagne for company (not so bad I suppose) feeling totally out of my comfort zone. When he eventually returned, he sat next to me and said “here, have this”, whilst pressing an ecstasy tablet into my hand, and then he wandered off again.

I considered throwing it on the floor or giving it to someone else but I thought “What the hell. I might as well try and salvage some fun out of the night. Things can’t get much worse can they…”

OH HOW WRONG I WAS.

After another 40 minutes or so (still sitting alone) Jim came back again. I was feeling good by now, about ready for a dance. He said “I think these pills are shit…I took 6 of them and I don’t feel anything.”

At that moment, any good feeling I had drained away completely. 6 pills. This was not going to go well. Feeling pretty sober, I decided it was time for us to leave. Although Jim claimed that the ecstasy wasn’t affecting him at all, his mannerisms suggested otherwise. He was shaking all over, gurning like nobodys business and could barely string a sentence together.

We started the walk back to the hotel. As we were walking along the High Street, he decided that he needed to pee. He went off down a side street and I told him I’d wait at the top of the road. I waited. After 15 minutes he still hadn’t come back. So, I started walking down the side street he’d gone down, looking for him.

I found him about half way down, trousers undone, shoes missing, face absolutely covered in blood. My first thought was that someone had attacked him…but I eventually got out of him that he’d lost his balance while peeing and smashed his face against a wall.

There was also a certain aroma about him. Yep, he’d shit himself.

I found his shoes a bit further down the road, wiped as much of the blood off his face with my jumper as I could, and set about carrying him to get some help (In our town, there’s a volunteer ambulance service called the SOS Bus – parked on the High Street every Friday/Saturday night, they help hammered people with water, help them if they’re hurt or too smashed to get home).

At the SOS Bus, one of the nurses cleans up the cut on his face – she could clearly smell that he’d crapped his pants too and keeps asking “have you...erm…had an accident love?” – to which his only reply was “yeah I hit my face”.

We eventually got clearance to leave, got in a taxi back to the hotel. As soon as we got back, he locked himself in the bathroom and refused to come out for a good hour and a half. All the while I can hear water running and him shouting from inside. At one point he did open the door, completely naked, covered in blood again (in his supremely wrecked state he’d slipped and hit his head again) which I then had to clean up, trying to avoid his shit-stained pants and trousers he’d left on the floor.

The rest of the night was spent with me curled up in a corner of the bed, fully clothed, and him switching between trying to have sex with me again and walking around the room trying not to be sick.

In the morning, I woke him up early and said that we had to leave. He claimed (or at least tried to claim – I don’t know if he was just trying to save face) that he had no recollection of what had happened the night before, and kept asking me what I’d done to his face and why his clothes were dirty. I’d reached the end of my rope by that point and asked him to just drive me home.

We drove in silence for a few minutes before he said “Actually, I’m just going to drop you off here. Your house isn’t on my way home so it’s out of my way.” – at which point he pulled into the car park of a local supermarket. I said nothing as I got out of the car. He pulled away pretty quickly as well. I had to get a taxi home from the car park of a supermarket. If you ask me that was the final kick in the teeth.

I only heard from him a few times after that. I had a few angry phone calls from him claiming that I’d forced the drink and drugs on him and that the huge cut on his head was my fault. Then a number of angry texts asking why I’d told everyone he’d done all those drugs (I actually only told a few of his close friends, as the whole thing was pretty concerning). After that I cut all contact and haven’t spoken to Jim since!

TL;DR – guy gets fucked up on wine and E when he really isn’t supposed to, shits himself, won’t drive me home.

Edit: formatting

Went on a "coffee date" last night. He was 20 mins late, talked about his ex for 15 mins, then asked if I cook and touched my hand without asking. When the bill came, he said, "You got this one, right?"

I paid. I left. I blocked.

Ladies, if your gut says something's off – listen to it. You don't owe politeness to people who don't respect you.

Now that I have your attention...

This was a date in South Korea, where I was teaching EFL. The guy was 33. I was 21. He was military, special ops investigative team kind of guy. We went to a burger bar in Itaewon (the 'US Military' area of town where people occasionally speak English), and he told me he was interviewing a suspect that night, he'd double-booked, and to just play along.

Okay, red flag 1. The suspect shows up (I guess on a drug charge? Something? I never really figured it out), and this guy grabs me by the shoulder and tells the suspect I'm his "wife", and starts making up stories about how we met. I'm kind of trying to laugh it off, because what the hell, this is weird.

Suspect finally leaves and he thanks me for playing along, and tells me he's paying for dinner because I was a good sport. Ok, cool. I then get food poisoning and proceed to become sick most prodigiously in the restaurant bathroom. Like a champ, I splash water on my face and come out of it looking pale but not terribly worse for wear. He asks if I want to go back to his place, and like a fool, I agree, because the world is kind of spinning and the subway ride back to my little moldy attic in Daechi-dong is LOOOONG. And I'd like a place to sit down.

He drives me in this big black military Jeep to this really, REALLY nice complex overlooking the river, penthouse suite, ect. This place is gorgeous. I'm starry-eyed, because, hi, I live in a moldy attic. We hang out and talk for a while, and I start to feel less ill. He tries to make out a little, whatever, it's fine. It's late and I have work in the morning, so I make "leaving now" motions, but he offers me his bed to sleep in. Says he won't try anything weird, etc.

I'm exhausted, so I say sure, and just strip down to my bra and panties and crawl in. Nice bed. Very comfy. I pass out.

I wake up in the early morning to him spooned against me, and something hard pressing into my ass. I'm barely half-awake and also a virgin (which he knows), so I'm not exactly sure what's going on here. He kind of grinds against me for a while while I try to figure out if he's awake or not. And then, it happens. Sharp, blinding pain in the ass. He's trying to ass-rape me! Without a condom! Or lube! Or asking first!

I'm awake now. I leap out of bed and yell something like 'what the fuck?!' and he goes, 'sorry baby, I figured you were used to it in the ass because you were a virgin...'

My expression is something like: O.o

I get dressed stiffly and tell him I'm leaving now. He drives me to the subway, asking if he did something wrong. I manage a "yeah, you could say that!" and flee.

EDIT: Just to clarify, I'm not trivializing sexual assault or rape. Srs. It's happened to me, and yeah...it took a long time to even realize that was what this guy was doing/trying to do. All the same, that one I avoided, so...hooray?

TLDR: Guy from church brings me soup when I’m sick. Asks me to dance for him. Tells me I’m lucky he doesn’t assault me.

This happened back when I was in my early 20s. I had graduated college and started working a job in a lab. The conditions weren’t great so I was almost always sick and most of my college friends had moved away so I was pretty lonely too. One of my coworkers invited me to go to a Church group after work and I figured it would be good way to meet new people.

The Church group was mostly people in their mid 20s and they were pretty stand offish. Except for one guy, let’s call him “Sam”. Sam was a big guy. He was a foot taller than me and it was obvious that he worked out regularly. He asked me out and we arranged a date for the next week.

First date was pretty standard. We met at a public coffee shop and talked for a few hours. It wasn’t a great date but it wasn’t so bad that I never wanted to see him again. We arranged for another date the next week.

Here is where things got weird. The day of our second date, I texted Sam and told him that I was sorry for the short notice but I couldn’t meet up because I was sick. He texted back that he still wanted to see me and would not take no for answer. I agreed to meet him in the parking lot of my apartment building and he showed up within half an hour. When we met in the parking lot Sam was carrying a bag of groceries and he insisted that he come up to make me some soup. I told him it wasn’t necessary but he kept insisting so I let him in and we went up to my apartment.

Once in my apartment, things got weird. He started singing to me and he kept asking me to dance for him. Sam got angry when I asked him to stop. He stood over me and said, “You’re really lucky I’m such a good guy. Other guys would have taken advantage of you and you wouldn’t be able to fight me off.” That scared the heck out of me and I asked him to please leave. He just grinned at me and sat down on my couch. He stayed for about 8 hours with me trying to get him to leave. On his way out he told me that he would be waiting for my text.

I blocked his number and luckily I moved away within a few months so I never saw him again.

TL;DR: Hinge date. Guy looked significantly different than his photos. The place he wanted to go to was closed when we got there. We walked through Home Depot and Walmart. I declined another date. He asked me what he did wrong, and I said he should update his photos. He informed me that I was autistically hallucinating (??????) and that he did in fact look like his photos.

Long version:

This dude asked me out on Hinge. He seemed interesting and looked ok in his profile, so I accepted. Once we met up, the following things became apparent:

-His profile pictures were extremely old. Almost to the point of being unrecognizable.

-The Starbucks that he wanted to go to (which took me 25 minutes to drive to) was closed when we got there.

He repeatedly suggested heading over to his home which was conveniently within walking distance. I declined and asked what else was around. We were in the middle of a huge, desolate shopping complex near a highway. The only nearby businesses were Home Depot and Walmart. We talked about our lives while walking through these romantic destinations.

He mentioned he had a cousin with autism, and wanted to help him but didn't know much about autism itself. I replied that I know a good amount because I have close family with it, although I myself do not have it. Then I talked about the difficulties that my autistic family member has faced, and how it can be really hard. This will be relevant later.

Several days later, he called me to ask if I wanted to go on another date, and I declined.

Today, the following texts happened. This is the conversation verbatim.

Him: Hey (my name), I was wondering if you could share with me... What could I do... To you know... Get girls to date me? Is it my appearance? Should I shave? Is it what I say? Do I ask too many questions? If you could help me to... Become more attractive I would really appreciate it.

Me: It would be good if you could update your profile photos, you looked a lot different from them. Also I kind of felt like the Starbucks closing thing was a ploy to get me to come to your house. Apart from that I just don't know that there was a connection when we talked.

Him: please accept my apologies on inviting you to my place. I have AC and a place to sit and chat, I did not intend to make you uncomfortable with that. I will get a haircut and shave. Thank you for coming to meet with me. I won't bother you again.

(I didn't respond)

Him (a little while later): You know what? I look the same just with slightly longer hair. So either your vision is off or your autism has you seeing things. Either way I'm not interested in seeing you again. Do not contact me again.

Me: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to! Me: You should probably see a therapist. I hope you can fix your attitude one day and find someone that's right for you. Bye!

Then I blocked him.

Today, I learned a lot of things. I learned that I have autism, and it causes me to hallucinate the features of men. I also learned that it is my responsibility to inform men when they're supposed to shave and cut their hair, much like a mother would do for her messy teenage child.

I also learned that I shouldn't tell my dates about any personal or vulnerable facts about my life, because my date may turn out to be an insecure manchild who will viciously exploit these facts to save face. Shame on me, I guess!

The end.

TLDR; Awkward and weird Tinder date told me he didn’t like me after a date, then proceeded to ask for casual sex and got butthurt when I declined.

I matched on Tinder with this guy - we both shared a love for the same TV show and began our conversation quoting it back and forth. From his pictures he looked relatively attractive, so when he asked me to go for a drink I accepted.

I met him at a bar, he was waiting outside for me as Covid rules dictated waiting to be seated etc. My instant impression was “oh no, this isn’t for me”. He didn’t look entirely like his photos, and the way he greeted me was much like an adult would greet a toddler. However, I continued with the date as first impressions aren’t always everything.

The date was generally pretty awful. It was awkward and full of uncomfortable silences which I racked my brain to fill. We disagreed on quite a few topics and it became clear we didn’t really have anything in common at all.

His sense of humour was also very strange. We weren’t compatible on that either. We got onto the subject of age and when he asked my birthday he started shouting about how crazy it was and everyone was looking at us. I figured he was going to say he had the same birthday, but he didn’t. He was the following day and he was shouting saying “what are the chances!!” to which I responded “uhh, about 1 in 365?”

Thankfully, there was a 10pm curfew on pubs and I used the excuse of booking a taxi before then as it would be super busy around 10. We said our goodbyes and I felt a wave of relief come over me as the whole evening had been very forced and awkward.

Towards the end of the evening I had the impression that he wasn’t feeling anything either and was relieved when he didn’t send a message after we’d left the pub. I decided I would message him the next day politely telling him I didn’t feel like we were a good match, but it was nice to meet him.

I woke up the next day to a message from him saying exactly what I had planned to say to him. Wooohooooo! I didn’t have to feel bad rejecting him. I explained I felt the same way and said it was nice meeting him. End of, right?.... Oh no.

He messaged me the next day asking why I didn’t like him. I thought dude wtf? You didn’t like me either. I politely explained he wasn’t my type and we didn’t have much in common, which he agreed with.

However, a further couple of days later he decided to ask if I would be up for casual sex. I mean shoot your shot I guess. I said sorry but no as he wasn’t my type. He then responded “what, not even for sex?” I replied saying no again and advised he drop the issue I’d already said no once and had remained polite the whole time.

His reply? “Alright whatever. Fuck rejection. I’ll move on” I didn’t allow him to get any further than that and swiftly blocked him on the messaging service and removed him as a match on Tinder. Safe to say I deleted Tinder not long after that, the UK went back into lockdown anyway so I’ve not missed out on much haha.

TL;DR: my (now ex) boyfriend said he'd take me out for birthday dinner, but instead tricked me into spending almost all of my birthday money for his meal and the meals of his 4 neanderthal friends.

I dated this absolutely terrible guy for nearly 3 years as a teenager. I have so many awful stories about him, but this one stands out in my mind.

This happened a few days after my 16th birthday. I'm adopted by my paternal grandparents and I only see my dad a few times a year, so every birthday and Christmas he would give me a couple hundred bucks. So my dad had just given me $200 at my family birthday party, and I excitedly text my boyfriend (who I'll call Z) to tell him. He acts excited for me, then tells me he has a present for me when I get home and has planned a date night for us at a nice restaurant.

Of course I'm feeling special, since he'd just got his first job and was gonna spend one of his first paychecks to take me somewhere nice. A few days pass and it's now the weekend. We'd made plans for dinner that day and he was going to pick me up and take me to a surprise location, just the two of us.

He shows up and I immediately know this night isn't going to go as planned because his friend R is driving and he's in the passenger seat. I didn't like R. I was friends with his girlfriend, and he cheated on her constantly, plus he used to make fun of me and treat me like shit. I'm a little bummed but I figure "whatever, maybe his car isn't working." Z explains that R was bored so he invited him along. I didn't want to ruin the date so I went along with it.

Then Z says "we need to make a quick stop before going to the restaurant." We pull up to another one of his friends houses, and 3 other boys proceed to pile into the back seat of the car. Now I'm squished in the back with a bunch of guys that I didn't even like (all of Z's friends used to say really rude shit to me in front of him and he'd just laugh and play along) and I could already tell that this date wasn't going to be great, but I'm still trying to stay optimistic.

No one spoke to me the entire ride.

Then we pull up to mother fucking MCDONALD'S.

This is the "nice restaurant" he's taking me to. Again, I find myself making excuses for him: "Maybe he's short on cash right now. He's still taking me out and buying me a meal for my birthday so I shouldn't complain too much," but I was still upset because McDonald's was literally the only restaurant we ever went to... but we're teenagers so I can't expect too much, right?

Everyone orders their food, and mind you, they order a LOT of food, and when everyone has finally ordered and the cashier says our total, Z turns to me and says with no emotion in his voice "The guys didn't bring any money. Can you cover them?"

I begrudgingly agree because I'm too nice of a person. Then the cashier asks if Z and I are paying separate. Again Z turns to me and says "I didn't bring any money either."

So I paid for the meals of 6 people including myself, 4 of these people I didn't even like, and every single person (besides myself) got enough food to survive a nuclear winter.

The total was -and I am not shitting you one bit, 140 DOLLARS. I had just under $60 left of my birthday money.

Everyone sat down and ate their food like a bunch of literal cavemen, like I remember one guy shoving most of his burger into his mouth, trying to chew it up but choking, then spitting it out on the tray. No one spoke to me the entire time we were there. Then R asked me for $10 for gas money. Afterwards, they dropped me off at home so they could all go to the beach. I was not invited.

I dated him for another year after this. Why? Because I was a naive 16 y/o girl and I thought I loved him. Eventually I broke up with him for a girl on Christmas eve though.

Edit: I think it's important to add that I did not cheat on him with this girl. I had a crush on her for a couple years, finally accepted that I had feelings for her and no longer had feelings for him, then a few days later broke up with him.

Just discovered this subreddit, and I have a boatload of bad date stories from just this past year.

I dealt with the break-up of a three year relationship in May of 2012. Needless to say, after three years, I had no clue where to start when it came to dating. So, being 23 and clueless about how to meet people, I made an OkCupid account. After meeting a few girls, I decided to meet one that had been texting me for the past few weeks.

This was back when I was drinking, so we decided to go out for a drink at the local bar. She met me at my apartment, met my roommates, and headed out to a bar down the street. She was cute! We got along very well, and I even got ridof a guy that was hitting on her. That impressed her!

A couple of people I knew showed up, and we ended up drinking with them a bit. She is about three or four mixed drinks and two shots deep. We end up leaving to head to another bar and meet the people we were with. On the way there, she starts to get a bit strange.

At the next bar, she's doing more shots. Obviously very intoxicated. She starts trying to slow dance with me outside. Okay, not a big deal. Then she asks me this:

"Will you be there for me and take care of me? Emotionally and financially?"

"Want to come to my niece's birthday?"

"I want you to be my boyfriend."

Keep in mind, this is our first date and she is blackout drunk. Obviously, she's in no condition to drive. So I offer to let her stay and tell her she can sleep on the couch if she wants to. She says: "I wasn't planning on driving home." Oh, okay. Feel free to invite yourself over.

So we head home because I have to work in the morning. We get home and my roommates are on the couch. She walks in and says: "Hamburgs is my boyfriend now!"

I'm terrified. She ends up crawling into bed with me and I'm hoping I can get to sleep and never have to see her again. Nope. She starts "playing" with me. Okay, not sure what to do. Next thing I know, she hops on top of me, slides my dick into her and says:

"I want you to cum inside me, Hamburgs. I want you to get me fucking pregnant".

NOPE. I pushed her off and pretended like I didn't hear that and went to sleep. Woke up in the morning, she kissed me goodbye, and then the text messages start.

She doesn't remember that night. She thinks we have good chemistry. I won't deny that we had good chemistry. So I explain to her why she scared the hell out of me and why I don't think I should see her again. She apologizes and apologizes. So I give her the benefit of the doubt. I explained that it was going to take time before I could see her again.

She proceeds to try and hang out with me everyday. I keep telling her that I need time. She doesn't care. She wants to see me. She knows where I live. I feel like I'm going to be murdered.

She tells me that I'm the cause of her depression. I tell her I can't do this, and she needs to leave me alone. She freaks out. After a few days of not responding to her texts, she finally stops.

Right after that night, I deleted my OkCupid and deleted her from facebook. Thankfully, I wasn't murdered.

TL;DR Don't let crazy stick your dick inside of them.