A few months ago, as part of a TPE arrangement with a former sub, she handed over the keys to her Reddit. Naturally, outside of learning new interests via some boards, I poked around through her messages to see how things stacked up. Here's what I found:

• The level of disrespect towards her was obscene. I don't know if this was a case of guys trying to be alpha, but the sheer number of opener with a version of "You belong to me now" was absolutely wild.

• At least a third of the messages were just one-word openers. “Slave?”, “Obey.”, “Kneel.” Not a hello in sight.

• Dick pics usually followed within 5 to 6 messages. Something that wasn't asked for or communicated ahead of time.

• Multiple guys got visibly irritated when she didn’t reply within a few hours, as if she’d signed a contract just by existing online.

• Some didn’t even bother reading her profile or posts. They made demands completely out of step with her stated limits and interests. One guy wanted raceplay. Another insisted she send photos of bruises.

• A few tried to guilt her, saying things like “Guess you’re not a real sub then” when she didn’t respond or push back on something uncomfortable.

What struck me most was how little effort or curiosity these men showed. No interest in who she was, no care for her boundaries, no sense of responsibility for the kind of dynamic they were supposedly engaging in. Just copy-paste dominance fantasies and dick-first intros. And to be clear, she never advertised herself as a free-use doormat. Her posts were thoughtful, curious, and clearly positioned within the context of learning about submission.

But that didn’t matter. The second she posted anything hinting at a submissive interest, the vultures swarmed. It felt less like D/s and more like a lottery draw for the most unearned entitlement.

If you’re in this space and you call yourself a Dom, do better. Lay a foundation of trust and respect before thinking solely with your dick. This isn't your porn fuelled fantasy. There is a living breathing person behind that wall of text.

Rant over.

Im dying of laughter. Was on the bus and my friend suddenly asks me if I'd ever been to "one of those dungeons."

Without missing a beat I explained yeah I've been to a few, but I've always preferred private playrooms etc and went on about how great the playrooms of some of my friends were and then went on a tiny tangent about public playrooms and how it's not really my thing.

My friend is being a champ and nodding along the whole time before waiting for me to finish and she just points to an advertisement across from us for a medieval dungeon museum and goes "yeah no, I wasn't talking about that kinda dungeon I meant the one in that ad right there."

Went to the nurse for a pelvic exam.

Nurse: is sex painful?

Me: super long pause .....no

Nurse: that seemed like a really well thought out answer

Me: well, sometimes it hurts...but that's on purpose

She cracked up and said she'd never had that answer before

I'm not trying to make jokes I genuinely believe this.

They genuinely find pleasure in making their subs beg over and over and over, and when you can't talk or think (idek know how they know), their thought process is basically "let me make it worse for you" all while pretending they feel sorry for what they're doing to you and I don't think I have words to explain how mindfucking these doms are

Watching a doc on the BTK killer. Yeah, the BTK murder was a crossing dressing male who like taking photos of him in rope bondage.

Same bro, you ain't speical.

Just like the BTK killer. My husband has photo albums and photo albums of pictures of me bound up in female clothing.

Hell, my husband has projector in the lounge of our sex dungeon so if any of our partners ask about fucking me he is ready with a powerpoint presentation of my body.

Hell in our lounge and under our projector screen is our custom coffee table so he can lock me down while showing off my body. Usually by the neck. it is position to force my face upwards, so I can't turn my face away from any other Doms. Add a gag that forces my mouth open for a little razzledazzle and you got our usual friday night stuff before Corona ruined everything.

But it doesn't make my husband a serial killer. Nor anyone else who is into this type of stuff.

I enjoy true crime shows that say yes they were into bdsm but they abused what bdsm is. Really enjoy ones that explain how they use bdsm as an excuse to abuse people.

I remember an ep of Hoarder kink shaming a hoarder who was hoarding sex toys. His family was mortified and just dragged him for it.

I hate when people assume people for the worse for what they are into. And I hate the pattern in crime shows of connecting bdsm with serial killers.

As Jeffery Dahmer says "It wasn't my parents, it wasn't the drugs, it wasn't the porn it was me. The person sitting in front of you."

Has anyone else notice this pattern?

Been in the scene for a while recreationally as a sub. Like years. But this week was the first time I actually got aftercare and didn't feel like shit afterwards.

It was a tinder date. We met for smoothies, got a hotel and he (consensually) hit the shit out of me. It was incredible. After the first round though I felt awkward asking for him to cuddle me and started to drop.

All my past partners were "okay now that we're done I have to go do XYZ." And so I've had to take care of myself. It never goes well, I always fall into that deep dark hole.

But I found the courage to ask, and this guy went "of course, why didn't you say so earlier?" And just held me for a while. Then round two. Then more aftercare. Then a gentle admonishment for not asking for what I needed earlier.

Y'all holy shit. Night and day. It's a few days later and I still feel great. No shame, no guilt, no "oh my God how could I let someone treat me that way he must think I'm garbage."

Definitely having the "listen you can literally treat me like a punching bag/Fleshlight combo but afterwards you HAVE to hold me like I'm a fabergé egg. Non-negotiable" conversation with all future partners. In fact, I'm adding to my tinder bio and writing it on my forehead.

EDIT: WOW! oh my God this is so sweet of everyone!! Thanks for the support, you're all gems. Thank you stranger for the gold, I'll wear it with pride. Planning scene #2, stay tuned. Planning fabergé egg t-shirts, really stay tuned.

...and I’ve never felt more loved.

We were a few hours (time flys when you’re having fun...) into one of our most intense sessions so far. I was bound and bruised from the paddling that he had started with. He had just finished bloodying my ass with a cane before he dragged me out into the yard. He used me as his urinal and then grabbed the hose to clean me off. The shock of the cold water was so intense, but I felt so broken I couldn’t even scream or flinch.

It’s all a bit fuzzy now, but I just remember hearing him repeating “red” and him cutting the ropes off of me before carrying me inside to a hot shower.

When I regained a bit of my senses, he told me that in that moment he just felt so cruel and that he had lost himself and the sight of me emotionally broken jarred him out of it so fast, and it scared him. We cuddled in bed for hours, with both of us reassuring the other how much we loved each other and how much we enjoy our sessions together.

I’ve never been this close with someone before, and I don’t think it would be possible without the BDSM aspect in our lives. It was just an incredible experience and I wanted to share with somebody

In my opinion, people often over emphasize the importance of a safe word. The problem is, a safe word can create a false sense of security. They're like seat belts, they're great to have but that doesn't mean we can drive carelessly. It's better to minimize the need for a safe word by properly discussing limits ahead of time.

In my experience, if you're relying on a safe word then you're probably doing something wrong. The only time a safe word is really necessary is during consensual non-consent scenes where the submissive wants to be able to say things like No, Stop, Please Stop, You're hurting me. In other words, pretend rape. In any other situation, stop means stop so there should be no need for a safe word.

For intense scenes like rape-play, a safe word is still not enough. Things can easily get so intense that the "victim" can't think straight. Of course a safe word is useless when I have my dick in her mouth, or my hands around her neck, or her face shoved into a pillow so she can't scream. (or he if that's your gender preference) In normal situations a safe word is unnecessary and in extreme situations a safe word is unreliable so why bother?

I'm old (by Reddit standards) and I've been doing this BDSM thing a long time now. Not just BDSM, I've done all sorts of risky, extreme, unusual things. I try to be careful but life is short and sometimes some risk is totally worth it. I'm proud to say that not once has anyone ever felt the need to use a safe word with me. Not until yesterday.

The thing is, we weren't even doing anything that extreme. Neither of us was naked so by many standards it wasn't even sex. We've done far more before and this particular encounter was not much more than flirting. Granted, I was in a very dominant mood and I am far stronger than her so my "flirting" meant my hands were all over her and there's no way she could get away. I have no doubt that she was enjoying it and wanted more. I know the difference between her saying "Stop it" when she means "Harder please" and saying "Stop it" when she means stop. I know her and I know her limits. I would not be so forceful with a stranger. Like I said, none of this is new to me.

We were playing, like we have many times before, when she said "red." It wasn't panicked, it wasn't strained, it was a quiet "red." I'm proud to say that I stopped instantly. It was almost reflexive. I stopped so fast it was shocking for me. It was almost painful, like someone throwing a bucket of cold water on me.

After a several moments of catching my breath and blinking in confusion, I started to figure out what had happened. She was in the mood, I was in the mood, but the timing wasn't right. The passion between us can be too much sometimes. Being around her drives me crazy with a powerful dominant energy and, according to her, when she's around me she loses all control. Indeed, I've never seen a woman get so wet so quickly.

She was correct to say "red" because I was going into that unstoppable dominant mode and she was sinking into her insatiable submissive mode. I wasn't hurting her, I wasn't doing anything she didn't want me to do, the timing simply wasn't correct. As much as we like to play, there's an appropriate time and place for everything but that was not it.

She could have used her "Stop it for real" voice but saying "red" was faster and more effective. It made me stop immediately and completely. It yanked me right out of the mood and back to reality. As soon as I figured out what had happened, I knew that she was correct to use her safe word. I know how to push her buttons. What she was trying to say was "Not now" but she was already too far gone to get the words out. She barely managed to say her safe word.

My point is, even if you dislike safe words as much as I do, even if you think you're some kind of super-expert like I think I am, it's still good to have a safety net. All you young dominant wanna-be's, learn to take it seriously. Being dominant doesn't mean you're perfect. And all you submissive types, learn that using your safe word isn't a failure, it's helpful. I appreciate a submissive who is willing to help.

I love a little risk as much as the next guy but wow, getting a cold bucket of water thrown in my face sure is a good way to remind me that I'm not perfect. It was like almost getting in a car accident but my passenger yelled "Watch out!" just in time.

My Dominant of three years has been sweet and loving and respectful and taught me so many things and I am so grateful. I want to marry this man, I love hanging out and talking, he is my best friend. This last week he said he wanted to try a Master/slave training session instead of our usual Dom/sub. He said he wanted to try it for the full month of August, I agreed saying “I agree, I know my safe words.” We started in the beginning of August…It has been a week of absolute exhaustion and tears. I am drained and I feel alone and I have told him I can’t do it. I finally broke down today and said my safe word. I said it’s too much and I really tried but it’s too intense for me and maybe we can try again later. His response was the worst I’ve ever seen from him. He has told me I’m disrespectful and ungrateful and don’t trust him or the promises he has given me as my Master. I said my safe word over and over but he won’t stop calling me slave instead of my name. Is this because the month isn’t over? Are there no safe words in M/s relationships? I am trying not to panic but he isn’t letting up. What do I do?

Update:

Hello everyone, thank you for responding to my post. I’m sorry I’m taking so long with replies. My Dom is yelling at me and swearing and calling me horrible names and threatening never talking to me and I’m just.. I’m scared. I’m so scared. He has thousand of revealing photos of me and he knows all of my family members and I’m scared. He has never directly threatened me with blackmail but he has said many times “it’s a good thing I’m such a trustworthy and respectful man, a lesser person would have a lot against you.” I am so scared. I want out. I need out. You are all right. I need help. I’m just so scared a I’m only 25, and he’s nearly 40. He’s military. I’m scared of him. I have been for years, but this is the first time he has reacted like this to my safe word. I am so so scared. I need help I don’t know what to do. I wish there was a big undo button. I am crying so much

Update: thank you so much everyone. You have boosted my confidence and before it drops again I’m going to leave. I’m going to leave right now. I’m grabbing everything and running. I will update when I’m out and safe. Please pray for me. I’m going to leave him within the hour. I will come back. Just pray for me, I’m so scared.

Update: I am away from him physically, but I haven’t broken up with him.. I want to.. I’m trying to.. but I can’t act like this isn’t ripping me apart. I have tried to leave him four times. I’m scared I’m just going to fail again and go crawling back saying I’m sorry until he takes me back. All of you are encouraging me and I appreciate it so much. More than words can ever express, thank you to each and every one of you. He has made me feel alone for so long and you all make me feel like I still have hope. I am working on it, I’m working through it. I’m physically safe and I appreciate you all so much. I’m building the courage to block him on everything and warn my friends and family about him. It’s not like the movies, it’s not easy and I am serious fighting to do this. I am fighting to do it for myself and do it to make all of you proud. I love you all. Thank you for fighting for me. I will update soon

Update: I am reading through your comments and I hear you. I got the message loud and clear. I will not break up with him, I will simply disappear from his life. I will not go back, I will not talk about it or explain myself to him any further than I have. I refuse. You all have shown me I have an army of support and I am not the crazy one! I am allowed to say no. I will say no with my actions and not my words. I will ghost him for my own sake. Thank you so much everyone. I will update later to let you know I’m still okay. I love you all so much, coming together like this means the world to me. Every one of you have helped so much.

Update: Day one apart- I feel a blissful sense of freedom. I don’t care what he decides to do anymore. Blackmail will be met with legal consequences and he doesn’t own me anymore. Thanks to the huge support you have all created for me, I don’t care what he says, I won’t get sucked into his abuse cycle again. I love you all so much, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Update: The bliss is gone. I have a huge knot in my stomach. I’m scared. The silence is deafening. And the insane thing is, I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts. I hate this. I’m distancing myself but I want a hug from him, I want to hear that it’s okay and we can figure it out.. this is breaking my heart.

Update: Every time I feel discouraged I come back here and get nothing but love and reassurance. Thank you everyone. You are putting the wind in my sails. I am going to keep fighting for my mental health and safety thanks to every encouragement. I don’t want to even think of where I would be without you all. We are a team.

I get why it’s not, I get that women being subby is more expected and men taking the lead is more traditional.

That’s not quite gentle maledom. I mean a real exploration and celebration and sexy understanding of a man dominating a woman for her submissive pleasure, that makes him feel valued and important to someone. Where’s my porn where a girl is stressed and sad and her boyfriend scoops her up and holds her in his arms, rubbing her clit and telling her to let go until she goes limp and snuggles up to him as he makes her cum quietly. Where’s the porn where a boy throws his shy girlfriend on the dinner table and devours her pussy until she can’t take anymore and she curls up on his lap and gives him kisses? Where’s the stories about a guy feeling confident and loved and powerful because he takes all the pain and stress off his girlfriend’s shoulders and sends her deep into subspace, or exploits her need for praise to force her to truly believe she’s a good girl who deserves head pats? There are so many stories about powerful women who secretly get dominated or get dominated as some kind of ironic punishment, but not about a powerful woman who comes home to recharge all that by being lovingly nuzzled and dominated by her boyfriend/husband. A lot of the biggest male fantasies are made unattainable because they’re pushed into this weird place where they come from total hyper masculine control and fitting that very specific image and attitude, not out of love, when they might be common in gentle femdom.

I feel like there’s just this huge hole where there’s plenty of male dom porn but it’s not loving, it’s not intimate, it’s only stereotypical men, it’s often super rough without the intimacy, it doesn’t show us anything less rough with her pouting and whimpers and everything intact, etc. Much of it doesn’t like to dwell on gentleness or intimacy. I want to be the best and goodest “sir” or whatever the equivalent of “good boy” is for doms. So much of it is confrontational too, I’ve seen a lot of sad comments from men who feel disposable in d/s situations because it’s so laser focused on just being a vague masculine energy feeding a “natural” feminine need. Which is where it can feel disciplinary or even hostile, do it right or something very bad will happen.

Part of the reason I got into gentle femdom was that I was so starved for seeing these things and I had to look for something with a reversal of the roles. I feel like some men get really disillusioned with maledom in general because there’s so little love and fulfillment there. There’s not enough about a happy dom who gets to feel satisfied because he made her all subby and fulfilled his fantasy, and deeply fulfilled because he’s taking care of his sub emotionally. The best I’ve been able to do is just look at the best gentle femdom and imagine the roles reversed.

Umm.... yeah, don't think I've broken off a potential session so quickly in my life. A red flag if ever there was one, jeez.

Like I get that CNC is a hot idea and I'm sure there are subs out there who love that.... but NOT with me. That would've been purely NC sex, or in other words, rape.

EDIT: ok I've since spoken to them again and they admitted it was a joke in poor taste. When I made it clear again that this is something I wouldn't want, they seemed to understand and say of course they wouldn't do that.

But still... maybe don't make a rape "joke" to like... anybody? I can't see the humor in it, especially in a delicate stage like negotiations. Still not going to play with him.

I feel sick when I think about kneeling, sucking, and fucking a man, as a submissive, after the election.

My stomach is in knots thinking about what project 2025 and fundamentalist Christians will do to reproductive and LGBTQ+ freedoms.

Edit:

My partner's response today - "What’s going to help you regulate your nervous system tonight? Sauna? Bath? Wine? I can make it happen"

Love that man

Last night, my bf and I were cuddling in bed while he was reading a book. One hand was holding his book and his other arm was around me. After a while, his hand snuck down and started playing with my tits and nipples. Now my nipples aren't very sensitive, but he was a lot rougher than usual playing with them and it drove me absolutely nuts. I was whimpering and moaning and writhing around, and he just kept reading. Every few minutes, he would stop playing with my tits to turn the page, and I would need him to touch me asap. Once in a while he would glance down at me, a whimpering horny mess, and give me a look as if to say, be quiet I'm reading, which only sent me spiraling into subspace.

We also found out that I get very turned on from being petted on my head. So while we were with friends, he would find ways of casually and subtly petting me fully knowing exactly what it was doing to me, without acknowledging that anything was happening.

The amount of control he had over me, and the casual way he was using me was so unbelievably hot and I can't stop thinking about it. It made me feel like a horny little pet who was at the complete mercy of his whims. This is my first relationship with bdsm type elements and these little things just make me so happy. Anybody else have stories of casual domming? Or even casual subbing?

I'm a correctional officer and we have to do defensive tactics training once a year. Today in class I was paired with a guy who is six foot two, super buff, and has an extremely intimidating presence. (I'm 5 foot 2 and not intimidating at all). So the size difference and his dominant aura already had me interested. We started class with some simple exercise (punches,kicks, and different fighting techniques) and then we moved on to a lesson plan that helps you learn how to give orders in a clear/concise and dominant way. Being told to spread my feet apart and get on my knees by this man had me dripping wet for the whole day. (When he said "put your fucking hands behind your back so I can cuff you" I almost fainted. Then this afternoon we started working on our grappling and ground fighting. During the full mount he was on top of me simulating punches to my head with little slaps and I just wanted to beg for him to hit me harder. Then we moved into the rear mount and he put me into a rear choke and I immediately went into Subspace. I was supposed to be fighting back and trying to escape the rear choke, so when he noticed that I wasn't fighting him he stopped and asked me if I was good and I couldn't really explain what was going on. It's kind of difficult to explain to your coworker that you're turned on by them giving you orders, choking you, and hitting you. (That would make for an awkward conversation.) So we stopped the technique and went on break so I could get myself together. After the break we had to start again and thankfully I was able to complete the technique. I need to be fucked HARD right now. Have you ever gone into subspace in a weird place?

So I thought I had a bruise tailbone. I had the usual aches and pain following a tailbone. Couldn't sit or lay down without crying in pain. Sex was so off the table and my husband cared for me via heatpacks and ice packs. So he hasn't touch me like that since Sunday.

But we are a super horny couple. So we wanted to do the sex. My husband also loves worshiping my ass so the distance between my butt and him was rough.

He loves touching it. Gentlely smacking it. Groping it. Playing with it. Biting it. Using it as a pillow when he naps. And everything in between.

So I get on all fours. Believe it or not all the dick riding positions are ideal positions to rest the tailbone because all the body weight is in the thighs and none on the tail bone.

And my husband barley touches my butt and I scream in pure agony. Thank god when I fliched and rolled into a fetus position my husband saw something.

A fucking boil in my ass.

So while I was crying in pure pain. He helped me get dressed and got me into our car (btw I couldn't sit) so that was fun.

And god fucking bless the Canadian Health Care system. They won't take you in if your tailbone hurts because that is self treatable and there are other at risk patients. But they will take you right fucking now if you are crying in complete agony.

My husband explained what was going on because I was in so much pain. He even helped me take off my pants again and put on the medical short shorts.

I had a boil about the size of a half dollar in my crack. It was infected. It was swollen. It was ready to burst. It was fucking huge.

Btw. It hurt when my husband gently spread my ass. Imagine how it felt to have a doctor manhandle that area.

Doc put mild pressure on it and it BURST. I could fucking feel it and that squeeze sound is something I am never getting out of my mind.

But since it was a boil. He wanted to get it all out, sac included.

And thus began the worse 20 minutes of my life. Like I said before, it hurt just for my husband to spread my ass. Now imagine three needles and a scaple knife carving into it.

I am pain slut WHORE. I love pain. I live for pain. Pain makes me happy. Pain on my ass makes me happier. But even this was to much for me and that is how bad it was.

I was laying on my stomach. One hand on my husband hand. One on some metal pole that I think was an IV rack. And biting the pillow. I screamed so loud the entire hallway heard me. And I'm the type of person who hides pain from others. Even at the doctors office just so I don't seem like a bother to staff and other patients.

But not this time. This was fucking painful. And it broke my husband heart to see me in non consenting pain. I felt like I was in the movie Hostel or the movie Saw. Or stuck in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a hook in my back.

It has been a few hours since I was torture. I napped so hard in the car my husband has to carry me into the house. But already I can sit again. Can't lay on my back because I got cotton in my newly carved asshole. And I can sleep again without tossing and turning and crying in pain.

All because my husband wanted to touch my butt. And now he is excited because he gets to touch my butt and take care of me by changing my dressings.

So please for the loving fucking God. Fondle your subs with love when they got body aches. It may literally save their ass.

I had an intense caning scene a couple months ago. It was primarily my ass and breasts. A few weeks later, shortly after all the bruising had finally faded, I noticed a fairly large lump in my breast. It really freaked me out, so obviously I went to the doctor. It took another month before they could get me in for testing, which was today.

I was informed it is something called an "oil cyst" which can be caused when injury to the fatty breast tissue liquefies the fat and becomes encapsulated by the body. It may or may not be permanent. It has reduced in size since I found it, but they told me it could stay how it is now permanently, maybe go away entirely, or possibly form into a harder, pebble-like lump as the body further encapsulates it.

This is a risk I was not aware of before engaging in impact to my breasts. When I looked into it, this doesn't seem to be a well-known risk.

Obviously if there are changes to your breasts, talk to your doctor. I could have saved myself a lot of worry if I had known this was an unintended side effect of a scene.

So aftercare has always been a big thing in me and my wife’s relationship. About 95% of it is just cuddling and saying how she’s a good girl, and everything’s ok. Standard calming things.

Well, last night, about 5-8 minutes into cuddling, she made a very odd request. She asked me if I could start playing Guitar for her. I was really taken back by this, as she’s never asked for this, and we’d never talked about it. I assumed she wanted to hear some soothing fingerstyle chords that she loves to hear, so I got up and reached for my acoustic. Right before I grabbed it, she said “no, not that one”. So I reached for my Electric Dean ML. She smiled and nodded.

At this point, I was so confused. I asked if I should plug it in and she nodded. And so, I did. I asked her what she wanted to hear, because I was at a complete loss for any cognitive thoughts that made sense.

I was about to start tuning it up for Van Halen or something, but then she said she wanted to hear some Thrash Metal. Now, she’s not a metalhead like me. She doesn’t find aggressive music soothing like I do.

I plugged my phone into the amp, and started playing Elimination by Overkill. She was just smiling at me while I was playing the fast riff while Bobby Blitz is shrieking about diseases in the background.

After the song, I asked if she wanted more, and she shook her head. We resumed cuddling, and I asked her why she wanted me to do that. She told me that she wanted to see me play music I liked.

Anyways, I just found the whole thing too funny/weird to not be told to anyone, so I figured I’d post it on here. Hope you all have a great day!

Update posted in comments. Thanks for your feedback y’all. Glad I’m not the only one beside myself over it.

Okay… so I’m kind of reeling over this. I’m not brand new to BDSM. I feel like I have a very good grasp on vetting, communicating with my Dom, and being safe. Much better than when I first started, anyways. I’ve been with my Dom for awhile now. We have never had any issues.

Tonight, I was abandoned while restrained, mid scene. Everything was going fine (fantastic, even) until his phone started ringing. He told me he needed to pause for a second—mind you, I was pretty deep in subspace and kind of confused?—started putting on his clothes and stepped out of my room as he answered the phone. I heard him cussing, and then I heard my front door open and close. He left me! Tied up on my bed! Without a word!

I am beside myself right now. Like… ready to text him not to ever contact me again, block, and ghost him upset. I need to know if that is overdramatic because I understand that this behavior is abnormal for him and he probably had to leave due to an emergency. It would have been one thing if he untied me before he left but he didn’t and I’m not sure there’s any going back from this. I feel anxious, mortified, and really sad right now? I wasn’t expecting this from him at all. I’ve never experienced sub drop but I’m wondering if that’s what this is? He hasn’t even texted me.

I luckily have a roommate who loves to live vicariously through me and didn’t bat an eyelash when she came home to me naked and tied up on my bed.

TLDR: Dom left me tied up mid scene without a word. I assume there was an emergency, but now I’m left upset and wondering what to do.

Seriously! I thought I knew my kinks by now, but I found a new one last night. I'm sitting back on the couch next to J. I had just finished giving him a bj and was catching my breath.

He started looking through his email on his laptop and was kind of absent-mindedly rubbing my legs. He ran his fingers up and down my thighs and over my hips. He eventually started rubbing my pussy a little. He hadn't taken his eyes off of the computer, but was slowly sliding his fingers between my pussy lips and rubbing my clit. I could tell he wasn't paying any attention to me. It was like petting a cat or playing with fidget spinner or something. There was no thought behind it. That turned me on soooo much. I was gasping and trying not to distract him from his work because I didn't want him to stop.

He started fingering my pussy, but he still hadn't even glanced at me. He was completely absorbed in his work. I watched his face as I got closer and closer to cumming. His expression never changed from the focused, slightly bored look he'd had since he started working. He was typing one handed replying to someone about something... My orgasm hit me so hard. My body started shaking and kind of jerked his hand that was fingering me.

When I opened my eyes, he was smiling and staring at me with this shocked look and said "I responded to an email about a new job".

Now I have a brand new kink. Being played with while being ignored? 😆 what the heck is that?! Does anyone else like that?

I decided to play a prank on my Dom. I finally got around to supergluing a peanut butter jar closed and then I asked him to make me a peanut butter and fluff sandwich during aftercare and it ended up in the best sex ever.

I superglued a plastic jar of peanut butter (almost empty so I didn’t waste a whole jar) shut. I used so much super glue because my Dom is very strong. At first I was worried he’d get it open because it cracked a little, I had my back to a wall in anticipation, he continued to struggle with the jar. After some effort he looked at me and said “you glued this shut” and then proceeded to get a large knife and cut the jar open. He then looked at me and said “I win.” Little did he know I actually didn’t want a sandwich so I said “well actually I didn’t want a sandwich. I win.” Well, we both won a whole lot more after that.

My Dom choke slammed me into a wall in the kitchen, then led me out of the kitchen, by my throat, back to the sofa where he proceeded to degrade me in a way I haven’t experienced before. I was so horny that I was bursting. At some point he grabbed me by the hair and brought me closer to his face and looked me in the eyes, then glanced down at my lips, and then back up to my eyes, almost in an inspection kind of way. I died. Like wrapped myself in a blanket and fell over, I was so horny.

Since we had sex not terribly long before this my Dom knew he wouldn’t be able to go again just yet so he took me to the bed, ate me out a little, and put a vibrator in me. I have never wanted his, or anyone’s dick for that matter, so badly. I have never used the term “hungry for dick” before in my life but that was exactly what I was. He then looked at me and asked “do you want to suck my dick to feel closer to your owner?” I strongly nodded because I couldn’t talk anymore. I love sucking his dick but I have never been that thrilled about it. I needed to get it in my mouth ASAP. It was incredible.

After a while he took the vibrator out and fucked me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I was mush, my brain was mush, I couldn’t talk or walk. He and I just cuddled and were in awe of how amazing that all was.

My Dom is absolutely amazing.

Moral of the story: I must glue all the jars in my apartment shut. 😂

I hope more subs try this, and I hope the outcomes are as amazing as mine was. 🥰

Edit: someone urged to only do this with plastic jars as they won’t shatter, as I mentioned at the top of my post that the jar I glued was plastic. If you do try this go with a plastic jar please! Play safe!

Edit 2: Aaaahhh, to the people who gave me the awards, thank you so much! You didn’t have to do that and it was super nice that you did! 😱

Edit 3: Again, thank you to another person for giving me an award, you all are so amazing! ☺️

Me and my long distance sub had our real first scene together via text. After she climaxed she got off her phone no warning or thanks or anything. She is a mother of 2 and I totally understand she’s busy. But after she left just in case I gave her aftercare. Shortly after that I started to really feel like crap I couldn’t focus on work my mind was going to dark places. It’s been hours now with no reply. But I’m now seeing why both parties need aftercare. I want to know she really enjoyed what happened and talk about if there could be changes. I feel like donkey right now” I think I need a hug”

I sincerely hope none on this subreddit do this, but if you do... Well, title applies.

Male doms, does this happen to you? I hope it doesn't but I am also angry. This reads like every dude trying to cure lesbians with the power of his penis.

It's okay for a dom of either gender to explore their switchy side, and it's okay to approach someone who's expressed interest in doing so. But for fuck's sake. Some of those men get really pushy after a rejection too, to the point I had to get graphic with them.

Basically, entitled creeps ruining kink life for everyone vol 200

Edit: it's not very mature, but when those losers don't take no and try to describe what they would do to me, I like to suggest that maybe THEY are subs at heart, and just as colourfully describe what I would do to them. Hence "get graphic".

That usually shuts them up with a final insult

Recently, there was a post in which the OP described a situation where they were forced into humiliation play. Naturally, consent was brought up, and one user described it as such:

If you want to know if this is « consensual humiliation », ask yourself if you liked it or not.

Frankly, I'm appalled at how many upvotes this got, and that there's a couple replies agreeing with them. I know this user was trying to help the OP, but this level of misinformation is harmful, and I'm shocked that some of the users here agree.

Consent is not whether you like something.

Consent is all people involved in an activity discussing and agreeing upon it. For example:

Dom: "I want to explore my humiliation kink. I'd like to insult you while you give oral. Is that something you'd be up for?"

Sub: "Sure, I'm good with most insults, but calling me worthless and gross are off limits."

Consent is not starting a new kink and hoping your partner enjoys it. Even if you get lucky and everyone has a fun time, it's still poor form, and a discussion of consensual play needs to happen.

On the flip side, not enjoying something isn't synonymous with non-consent. Someond could try a new kink and not enjoy it. There's plenty of examples where a couple tries a new kink, neither of them use the safeword, and the next day one of them says "Actually I didn't like it that much. I don't want to do it again." They're revoking consent for that play in the future, but that doesn't make the night prior rape.

As another example, if I'm enjoying a scene but get a low-blood sugar episode, I need to safeword. Liking the scene doesn't negate the need for it to stop for the sake of my health.

Tl;Dr: Consent and enjoyment are not synonyms.

https://mashable.com/article/coronavirus-medical-fetish-store-donates-scrubs.amp

Saw this and thought of this community.

Hello, I have an update nobody asked for but this is reddit so I am providing it!

We met up at the Timmies near our neighbourhood.

I told her that her usage of safewords made me uncomfortable and that, combined with her pushing for sexual activities in the last two sessions, meant that I did not want to continue with her. She was confused, she told me that she was only doing it because she needed me to slow down for a second.

I responded that at no point did she explain this was why she was safewording, including at any of the times I had stopped and questioned her on it, until our fourth and final session together. She just shrugged and said I should have understood that's what she meant. She got mad because I said I wasn't going to read her mind.

When I asked why she started pushing for sex after sessions three and four she said she was getting turned on and "couldn't understand why I would say no" and called me a meanie. I'm 28, she's 36, and she called me a meanie.

At that point I just wanted to finish my decaf and go home and she had the gall to ask if I would give her a ride.

I had walked, so I told her no, because I walked, and then she told me "oh I didn't think a fat girl would walk that far, sorry". I AM NOT A WOMAN! She knows I'm non-binary and she misgendered me anyway. I don't even look like a woman, I have facial hair, small boobs, and I was wearing a Hawai'ian shirt with flames and flowers. DURING PRIDE MONTH.

I told her not to contact me again, took my coffee, and went home.