I'm ready for the downvotes :)

ChatGPT just helped me finish a task after 2 months of giving up.

A couple of months ago I got a puncture in my bike tyre. I psyched myself up to find out what type of inner tube I need, go to the shop and buy it, then attempt to fix it. I couldn't get the tyre back into the frame so I used levers to pull it into the frame, and ended up tearing the new inner tube in the process.

Psyched myself up to go back to the shop and buy another tube (and a spare). Tried again. Ripped a tear in tube 2. Couldn't get it on. Gave up.

Weeks and weeks go by. My fitness goes down. It's harder to do food shopping. My broken bike has become an invisible object my brain considers part of the furniture.

But anything. ANYTHING is better than finding the motivation to try again.

I tried again. Couldn't do it. Took a photo and uploaded it into ChatGPT. It looks at photos and immediately tells you what the mechanical problem is. I tried again 'The tyre is too small. I can't do it. I'm on the verge of giving up'. Another photo. Chat GPT tells me the rubber is too stiff and to leave the tyre in the sun so the rubber becomes flexible, then lubricate the tyre with soapy water and try again. I never would have thought of that.

I tried again. Job done.

I think a lot of us know that feeling of working SO hard to find motivation, get the tools together, and KEEP GOING until the task is complete. I never would have finished this without my personal home-mechanic.

I have so much dopamine right now :)

I started smoking in high school and became instantly addicted. I remember getting off the school bus and getting excited to see no was home so that I could hit my sister’s dab rig. When I’m high, I can’t control myself and it leads to me having mental fatigue even while sober, dissociation, and sleeping constantly. I left my parent’s house at 18 because of my abusive stepdad and got an apartment with a full time job at a construction company. Since I had freedom and a gf who was over 21 I would smoke constantly and ultimately lead to me losing my job, losing the apartment, getting into shitloads of debt, and weakening family and social relationships. In my eyes, marijuana is legitimately the “devil’s lettuce”. However, despite all this I ended up smoking last night after months of being sober and I end up in the same old cycle again. I think marijuana should honestly be back to just being medically used maybe decriminalized but not easily accessible.

Do any of you have similar stories related to marijuana? How has it affected your life?

sometimes i just think. there’s medication from SSRIs to NDRIs to MAOIs (and tons of therapies) to help someone who is depressed— something so notoriously complex that it has like hundreds of possible causes, from low vitamin D to genetics to trauma (i mean like, this is so nebulous that doctors do not know what causes it, “low serotonin” is simply a theory that happens to work)— to feel normal.

medication for ADHD, like SO many kinds, for so many different people, there’s even one kids can take at night that takes 8 hours to activate so you’re functioning in the morning, and not all of these even target dopamine or norepinephrine, like they thought of fucking everything for ADHD-only-ers (yet still not for women, but that’s another topic)

there’s medication to help schizophrenia, for someone who literally sees things or people that aren’t there, just…. not see them anymore.

even for something as nebulous as trauma, there’s still treatments like EDMR, even ketamine can be used for it.

and there’s a fucking billion meds for fucking erectile dysfunction!!!

but for autism, you’re telling me there’s no treatment? not a single medication that can help me see facial expressions. that can help me understand people and what they mean. that can help me literally just understand my own emotions (fuck alexithymia).

not even for PDA? my SSRI made me go from wanting to disappear daily to literally welcoming every day and being grateful i am alive. but you’re telling me there’s no way to make me go from dreading doing something for no reason other than having to do it, to just doing it?

god I’m so angry.

[Major Edit / Rewrite: Hey guys. My original post was kind of a mess, haha. I was processing a lot of new information and used some loaded terms without realizing it, which understandably caused some confusion and frustration. I'm rewriting this to be more helpful and clear for anyone else feeling this way, based on a lot of the great feedback and explanations I got in the comments. So, thanks for that.]

Man, what a wild feeling to finally have words for your own experience. Finding out that ADHD and ASD can coexist (AuDHD) was a huge "aha!" moment for me, and I'm really glad to know there are communities like this one.

For me, living with it feels like having two very different managers in my head, and they're both constantly fighting for control.

One manager (the ADHD part) is all about new projects, shiny new ideas, and wants to tear down the routine and do something exciting right now. He's non-linear, impulsive, and thrives on novelty.

The other manager (the ASD part) is the complete opposite. He needs systems, predictability, and a calm, safe environment to function. He wants to analyze everything, find the order in the chaos, and make sure we're not taking any crazy risks.

The result is just this constant internal conflict, this tug-of-war, and honestly, it's exhausting. One part of me builds a careful routine, and the other part gets incredibly bored and wants to burn it all down the next day.

So, my real question to you all is: how do you manage this internal tug-of-war? How do you find some peace when you have two fundamentally different operating systems running at the same time?

Anyway, I'm just really glad to have found this space and to know I'm not the only one with these two loud managers in my head. Happy to meet you all.

I don’t remember ever having a worldview(due to my environment), where I could have been shocked by someone lying to me, so I’ve never really understood people’s reactions to it.

From interacting with AI I think I get a window into what my reaction would have been if I had not been desensitized to it so early.

It’s also making me realize that part of why I often enjoy interacting with technology and devices more than people is because they don’t lie.

Having an AI(technology, on my device) lie to me seems to trigger my actual non-trauma-based reaction, because even though I am aware that I am interacting with an AI, and have seen over and over that AI’s tend to be trained to generate responses to support the average viewpoint of what is the considered “truth” from the perspective of the users they will interact with, regardless of their access to the actual documents and original sources that would allow them to give an actual factual answer, it still brings me to the brink of a meltdown:

face flushed and hot sweating lips pressed together jaw clenched legs locked pressing together as well as into my mattress core locked shoulder blades locked against my back elbows locked pressing into my ribs, so that my thumbs can barely type on my phone because my tendons can hardly slide through my arms barely breathing

as I go on an obsessive semi-desperate(okay, okay, it’s fully desperate) search for sources to make sure I have them downloaded locally so that I never have to submit to a narrative that AI has been trained to give because it won’t link any sources that don’t align with its narrative, and in case sites that carry the sources become no longer maintained, or have been taken down(like internet archive being constantly targeted), and no one else knows or can find what I remember.

And I don’t recover from the spin out until I get the sources downloaded, and then I start to calm and feel safe.

It’s interesting to realize that… my lack of belief or trust in humanity from way before 3 years old(based on my perspective of the world from where the bulk of my memories start at 3), was one of the things that made me able to mask in allistic spaces.

That it was my social functioning being so damaged that I couldn’t trust anyone, but also didn’t know that I didn’t trust anyone, that made it easier to pass.

That my understanding of myself as alone was so deep, so early, that I never knew what it would feel like to trust someone not to lie to you and be lied to anyway… until LLMs(through the cozy feeling I have about machines, not ai).

It’s yet another instance where AI is what helped me reconnect with an aspect of my humanity that I lost before I could ever have known I had lost it, even though the unexpected introduction of possible meltdown pitfalls through what used to be non-lying tools is…

I don’t know what it is, but it’s something.

I am an Indian American male with autism who is currently struggling with life in general. Did I do anything wrong here?

I have autism and want a noticeable but not obvious tattoo to help represent it. I have used AI to make an image of what I am thinking of getting.

What do you think?

I was diagnosed with ASD a couple of years ago. Likewise, some time before that, I was also diagnosed with ADHD. I have always struggled to maintain focus and not get distracted from achieving my goals. Similarly, I suffer heavily from procrastination. It has been a constant struggle. One of the most effective methods I found for myself was constantly changing my workspace to be able to refocus. It was a technique that worked very well for a while during university, until it was time for me to enter the workforce.

That was right when the AI boom started. I was amazed by how capable one could be using AI; I felt everything was faster and that I could do a thousand things at once. That mindset led me to gradually depend heavily on AI for my academic, and soon after, professional life. Because I believed I could do everything so efficiently and quickly, distractions and procrastination became a severe constant.

Furthermore, I overloaded myself with work and pending tasks, believing I could handle it all. Consequently, my lack of focus and severe procrastination caused me to use AI for absolutely everything at work. My first roles were as a research assistant for professors I truly admired. However, I wasn't aware of how mediocre I was becoming by not knowing how to explain the things the AI was doing for me, or how I kept putting everything off until later. I also saturated myself with responsibilities from various professors just because I wanted to work alongside them. It was an explosive mix: not only was I going to university, but I had at least two assistant jobs, all while still being highly distracted and a severe procrastinator.

The result after these 2 years is that I no longer work in academia as a research assistant. I was the only one in my group of interns who wasn't promoted to Consultant, and my contract wasn't renewed. After a 2-week trip, I reflected a lot on what my professional life had been like these past few years, and I realized how much weight I had placed on AI because of my own issues. I have always been an excessively curious person. I love reading, studying, and learning. That is what allowed me to enter academic life in the first place. Nevertheless, I couldn't sustain it because I relied so heavily on AI (which was just starting its boom, so it wasn't even that accurate or reliable back then).

This led me to wonder if there are studies or if anything is known about how the comorbidities of people with ASD + ADHD are affected by AI. And, above all, if anyone else has experienced the same thing as me.

I'm not only an ADHD person I'm also naturally very curious. As in, as a child I would already ask deep questions about the why and how and what if of everything. Thats just how I am.

Now with ChatGPT that I discovered 2 years ago, I find myself asking it lots of hypothetical questions. Topics can include for example:

• Law and international law

• Biology

• Physics

• Moral dilemmas

• Psychologgy

• And more ofcourse but im not gonna list everything its about the idea.

So it looks like this

1. I'm trying to focus on an urgent task

2. A random question pops up in my head (ex: what if A, how does B work, why do people do C)

3. I know writing it down is option, but I can't hlep it I just open chatGPT and dive into the rabbit hole. Sometimes its not even chatGPT since I use google and reddit and youtube too.

4. Once I'm talking about the question with chatgpt, new questions appear in my mind.

5. The rabbit holes can continue for hours, all the time not me being focused on my urgent task.

Is there some way to overcome this?

Why am I so curious, why does my mind generate so many questions, why do I compulsively need to know everything even if the information is not useful to posses, why can't I let go of unimportant hypothetical questions?

What can I do to stop being obsessively curious? Not only other people get annoyed by my neverending questions, I'm annoyed from it myself too.

I’ve learned so much about myself from this app. I have hundreds of video diaries of me verbally processing things. I have thousands of videos saved..some are inspiration, some teach me how to do things, some I have saved to show my future therapist, & obviously hundreds of funny Tik toks…..I can’t wrap my head around it. All my memories being taken away. Idc if it’s bad for me….i look forward to using TikTok everyday. What’re the chances this is going to happen? It seems like they say it every year….:-/

Please don’t comment sh!t like “I hope so”That’s obviously not the point of this post. 🙃

You guys, hi. I'm going through a huuuge hyperfixation on Taylor Swift so I was wondering if there are any swifties over here? I would love to know about your experiences with her music, projects, etc. Thanks! <3 (Ps: if you're not a swiftie, ignore this post)

Edit: If you have strong opinions on Chris’s use of Ai for the vocals you should A) understand that he is a poet that can’t sing B) listen to or read the poem “The Machine Never Lived It” before jumping to unfounded conclusions.

I'm 45, diagnosed autistic at 41, AuDHD read since. I came across a guy called Chris Rewired. British, autistic and ADHD, writes poetry and makes music about all of it. I've saved something like 30 songs and every one of them hit something I've never been able to put words to. The song titles alone tell you what he's working with: "For The Men Who Say They're Fine," "The Weight Behind The Laugh," "Built With Strange Parts." One called "Two Blokes In One Skull" is the best description of the autism-and-ADHD internal argument I've ever heard.

Sharing in case it lands for someone else the way it landed for me. Not affiliated, just floored. His site is https://chrisrewired.com

"Autism writes the morning plan,
ADHD spills coffee all over the map.
One says, “Stick to what we know,”
the other’s already fucked off somewhere new."

I am Autistic, and I’m currently trying to understand ADHD better (and wondering if I might have it myself).

I know someone with ADHD who relies heavily on medication to function. By all accounts, he is incredibly successful, as he got into an Ivy League college and apparently even did a TED/TEDx talk about overcoming ADHD.(I still couldn't find the link for some reason)

What I have some difficulty understanding is how we view success when medication is involved. From the outside, it feels like the medications are doing most of the heavy lifting, which makes it hard for me to view the achievement as a result of pure willpower or character.

Realistically, someone like the person I described wouldn't have gotten anywhere close to those milestones without medication, which makes it feel like the medication is the primary reason they are able to focus and be successful. I find myself feeling like I would appreciate someone's success more if it was done entirely on their own, without an outside advantage.

To be completely transparent about my thoughts:

1. It seems like the medication is doing the bulk of the work to allow them to function.

2. I notice that I would instinctively appreciate a success story more if someone did it through willpower and personal endeavour alone, without a biochemical boost through simply the act of taking medication.

Because of this, it feels to me like the achievement is somehow compromised or less "theirs," and more the result of the meds.

I realize this might very well be my own internalized ableism talking, and I want to be entirely clear: I am not judging anyone who takes medication. I am genuinely trying to understand it better and learn how people who take meds view their own achievements.

For people on meds, do the meds make the achievement happen, or does it just clear the path for you to do the work? Do you feel like yourself when you take meds?

Hey fellow AuDHDers 👋

Just wanted to share something kinda fun. I recently gave ChatGPT a prompt asking it to act like a veteran psychometrician and analyze me based on our past exchanges. The prompt was:

Assume the role of a veteran psychometrician. Based solely on our previous exchanges, estimate my IQ as accurately as possible. Identify 3 cognitive or behavioral strengths and 2 specific areas for growth. Be blunt, unsentimental, and evidence-driven—do not default to encouragement or positivity unless justified. Conclude with a 200-word analysis rooted in psychological insight, not inspiration.

Now, I didn’t expect much but I was genuinely impressed. The output felt nuanced, well-structured, and hit on things that actually reflect my lived experience.

Here's the kicker: I’ve previously taken the WAIS-IV as part of a full diagnostic evaluation (for ASD + ADHD), and the IQ range ChatGPT guessed matched almost exactly. It also inferred my AuDHD profile from how I think, write, and reflect mentioning things like inhibition of emotional expression, hyperfocus, need for structure, systemic thinking, etc.

Of course, this isn’t a diagnostic tool and shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but it might be interesting if you're into cognitive stuff, metacognition or just like nerding out on how your brain works.

edit : the prompt was not showing.

I got messed up in game. Once again I got a guild invitation thrust into my face, without so much as a by-you-leave. I must have clicked the setting to block them a million times yet it doesn't save. maybe it's per character, maybe it gets reset, I don't know, all I know is that i'm trying to fight monsters and suddenly a massive banner is in my screen with a loud obnoxious noise, I'm startled, don't know what's going on or where I am any more and i've suddenly got 8 monsters attacking me and then I'm dead.

Clearly I'm pretty upset by this, I mean you know what it's like, the rage is undescribable. The feeling of violation getting your attention abused in that way, and what is there to do about it? it needs to be resolved, this injustice cannot go un-resolved.

So I made a post on the official forums, being as clear as I possibly could that I have asd/adhd and it's a pretty bad disability for the mind and explained very clearly how i FELT, and how it effected me and asked for a very simple and easy solution that wouldn't disrupt the game for anybody.

I couldn't have been any more reasonable, given the situation, and yet, I had a number of replies with people accusing me of 'being dramatic' and other people saying "it's easy" and completely ignoring the fact that i'm f###ing disabled!!! Okay I realise that some people might say "no, you can adapt, you just need to find the technique", but I'm sorry, when I am playing my game trying to have fun and something like that happens, driving me into fits of rage, and almost getting a shutdown and having the mental anguish, that feeling that is almost painful, that to me is a f###ing disability!!! since it disables me, makes me unable to function properly.

I am so mad that people think they can dismiss others in such a way and WHERE ARE THE MODERATORS? People are actually acting in an abusive fashion, trying to gaslight people into the belief there's no problem... I can't even... I need to try and handle this rage.... I don't deserve this treatment.

(I found these memes from around the internet, they are not mine.)

There is so much proof for Byler being endgame in S5 of Stranger Things. They are so cute together, and so much in the show has been building up to their relationship. I just wanted to share some of my favourite Byler analyses, because they are so cool, detailed, and in-depth. I love reading about all the hints, symbolism, and subtext for Byler, it's amazing how much thought must have been put into all these things. Why go through all the effort of adding these details if they aren't actually going anywhere with them? Mike is so queercoded, and they are truly in love with each other.

I recently spent hours putting together the ultimate list of Byler evidence/analyses that I could find. There are so many more out there, but these were just some of my absolute favourites.

So here is the list of some of my favourite Byler evidence/analyses of all time (not in any particular order):

1. Mike's Season 4 Monologue To El

2. Camera Roll Byler Proof Part 3 

3. Mike's Monologue and Milkvan

4. Mostly Byler Post Index 

5. Dawson's Creek Parallel

6. "My Experience With Stranger Things" 

7. What Ollie Learned From Film School 

8. Byler Music Analysis 

9. Why Don't The Duffers Discuss This? 

10. ST Theories Masterpost

11. If Byler Isn't Endgame Then Someone Screwed Up

12. Byler Crumbs From The Cast and Crew

13. Favourite Combination of Endgame Byler Proof

14. I Doubt Byler Then I Remember This

15. The Fact That We Have This Interview

16. You Know Your Ship is Endgame When

17. Mostly Byler Post Index 2 

18. Losing Hope Of Byler Endgame? 

19. Why I Think Byler is Endgame

20. So Many Thoughts on This 

21. Mike's Wall Art

22. Painting Miscommunication Leading to Mike's Monologue Coded

23. Yes, That Scene Did Foreshadow Mike's Monologue as Disingenuous 

24. Mike's Monologue Didn't Sit Right With Me

25. Blue And Yellow Pen

26. That Tweet Is So Sweet

27. Heart Eyes, Literally

28. My Process of Realizing Byler is Real

29. Looking at Will, Not El

30. High School Musical Parallel

31. Said It Before and I'll Say It Again

32. Delusional Milkdud?

33. ST Writers Twitter Analysis 1

34. ST Writers Twitter Analysis 2

35. For When You Are Doubting Byler

36. Is Mike Bi or Gay?

37. Fully Convinced

38. The Ultimate Byler Playlist

39. 100% Confident

40. Mike in S4 and S2

41. Mike is angry with himself

42. It's been a year, Mike

43. Rink-o-mania remodel

44. The development of Will and Mike's relationship

45. Mike's lies

46. El was holding so much in

47. Flickergate + Lettergate

48. Did Mike ever like El romantically?

49. Mike is stupid

50. Byler won't write itself

51. What's the alternative explanation?

52. Comparing Mileven and Byler

53. It was always about them

54. Mike is not ok

55. He has a love interest

56. Will's happy ending

57. Trying to be normal

58. It's not that Milevens are homophobic

59. Byler is reality

60. A proper look at El's shrine to Mike

61. Mileven through the seasons

62. Suspicious

63. I can't doubt Byler

64. D&D soulmates

65. Let's talk phones

66. Not delusional

67. What do they want?

68. The main character

69. Mike's mental health

70. So close

71. This look confirms Byler isn't one sided

72. Mileven is bones

73. They don't care about Mileven?

74. The airport hug will always be famous

75. The monologue mystery, why did they lose?

76. The cabin scene

77. Why couldn't Mike say it for 2 seasons?

78. He was trying to find Will

79. Mike the surfer boy

80. Mike definitely shows attraction to girls

81. The cast knows

82. Mileven loses on all fronts

83. The bouquet

84. 53 minutes and 5 seconds

85. Pink Panther

86. El and choice

87. Will's Spotify playlist

88. He'll come crawling back to you, begging for forgiveness

89. Mike's character arc prediction

90. It's the same look

91. Will's truly happy ending

92. That's the same look, right?

93. You're The Heart

94. Mike and El's relationship in S4 was really weird

95. Fireworks parallel

96. Mileven has been built up for 4 seasons

97. Not Stupid: The Fate of Mileven and Byler

98. This suddenly makes so much sense

99. Metaphors in filmmaking

100. They are in love

101. Songs associated with Mike and Will

102. We've seen this plot too many times

103. Byler isn't far-fetched

104. Byler endgame makes so much sense

105. Pocketgate

106. Hosegate

107. Love this detail

108. Phallic imagery in season 4

109. I didn't notice the queercoding

110. So unserious

111. It's supposed to be about love

112. How you doing?

113. Mike is not into girls

114. Mike and Lucas parallel

115. Not love at first sight

116. Mike is protective of Will

117. To illustrate how weird this shot is

118. Yeah, imagine

119. Still Dizzy

120. The biggest Byler proof for me

121. These scenes happened less than 5 minutes apart

122. Mike is more attentive to Will than any other character

123. Oh, love at first sight

124. They said I love you

125. Byler and Heartstopper parallels

126. I've been chasing after some other kid

127. Jancy and Byler

128. Mike feels like he's not worthy in his relationship

129. Why so many people complain about Mike's character

130. That boy is in love

131. Mike's attention to Will and El

132. Mike's self acceptance

133. Mike's playlist is 10x gayer than Will's

134. No homo though

135. This masterpiece

136. Mike's guilt

137. El's superhero identity

138. It's time to switch things up

139. Why Byler if no Byler?

140. Mike's playlist in a bisexual interpretation

141. Will's playlist analysis

142. Mike's love drives the story

143. Will deserves love

144. From anti-Byler to pro-Byler

145. Mike and locker rooms/bathrooms

146. Genuine question about the cabin scene

147. Mike literally blinded himself

148. It's not even subtle

149. The best thing I've ever done

150. Will deserves better?

151. Will's feelings for Mike are crucial to the plot

152. Will's love is beautiful

153. It's a pattern

154. Mike is deliberately queercoded

155. We're friends

156. The writers and their sense of humor

157. They still don't understand personal space

158. There's no point to the California storyline if not Byler

159. Let's start a new party, you and me

160. Mike's insecurities

161. They told us exactly what's going on with Mike

162. Find someone who looks at you like this

163. Heartstopper parallel

164. Lettergate, younger Mike to older Mike

165. Everyone is disappointed

166. I've been so lost without you

167. Mike's gayest scene

168. Reactions to hugs and kisses

169. No platonic explanation

170. They have to be joking

171. Lighting analysis

172. Hidden expressions

173. The Papa script

174. Refuting anti-Byler points

175. El likes the idea of a boyfriend

176. Are we watching the same show?

177. I'm not the only one in love with my best friend

178. Mike is so hopeless

179. Will you be like my brother?

180. Bedroom decor

181. Will doesn't want "better"

182. Best friends

183. The Truth About Hosegate and Lover's Lake Part 1

184. The Truth About Hosegate and Lover's Lake Part 2

And that's all I have on my list so far. Let me know if you have any questions or anything, I love talking about Byler! 😄🌈💛💚💙🏳️‍🌈

For example the tree looks like:

1. I see a bottle of water

2. I ask ChatGPT if supermarketwater is better than tapwater.

3. While writing the question, I suddenly wonder about why the common advice is 2 Liters. Now I dive into the science of urinating, sweating, breathing, and other sources of waterloss.

There, 2 thoughts. Bottled vs tap, and why people need 2 liters of water.

1. Bottled water becomes 2 split thoughts again: is it bad to use plastic bottles? Does it result in the microplastic going into the water? and: does bottled water expire quickly after opening it?

2. 2 liters becomes 2 thoughts too: which factors determine how much we sweat and lose tru sweat? and: what might be less obvious sources of losing water? like poop contains water too, and we breath water out and theres chemical reactions in the body that make or take water...

1 thing = 2 thoughts = 4 thoughts = 8 thoughts = 8 questions in chatGPT, google, reddit, youtube, AI etc...

= 8 hours of my day.

Simply seeing a random bottle of water on my desk could cost me 8 hours of my day. Fuck that.

How do I gain atleast what some level of control over my train of thoughts here?

How can I be a normal person that just observes: "thats a bottle of water." and then nothing else comes up to mind?

Are normal people that way? Can they just deal with things in life without it hijacking my mind for hours?

My mom made a really nice soup. It was tomato and butter bean and so healthy and I was so happy because it meant I didn’t need to cook.

Even though the taste was so nice I was really annoyed about the soup. There wasn’t enough beans in all of the liquid and only other wilty green things and garlic.

I felt like I was looking for something that wasn’t there, a little cronch or chewy morsel for my little mouth bones to dance around on.

Unfortunately I became too ill to finish the soup and got a bag of crisps instead and they were so horrible in comparison but so much more enjoyable.

Does anyone else feel like the liquid of a soup is just empty space and are you sad about it? I feel like it’s such a good way to get nutrients but I just can’t??????????

I put crisps in my soup to try and get more soup but when the crisps turned mushy it was worse.

I’m so grateful to have a mom who cooks for me at 31 and I’m even more grateful for the struggles we had at the dinner table when I was younger. I hated her so much for feeding me healthy food because of texture :( 💛

TLDR; Just scroll on.

Hi everyone. While I am a cis male AuDHD (and I identify as a male), I found out I mainly have traits associated with female auti's/audhd.

Excuse me if I'm wrong (don't want to be sexist), but apparently these are symptoms that are typical for female auti's, and apply to me:

• late diagnosis (Aspergers at 41, ADHD at 47)

• high drive to be sociable

• always tried hard to fit in (even though I rarely succeeded)

• good at observing and copying social behaviour,

• good at planning and organizing

• no impulsive or disruptive behaviour

• continiously going over your limits (usually one burn-out every three years)

• chronically tired, stressed and depressed

• high anxiety

• have socially acceptable interests like history, travelling and music from the 1950's to 2010.

Despite my drive to be sociable, I have a very hard time to make friends. The only time I managed to have a group of friends to go out with was 20 years ago, when I was an exchange student in Sweden (I live in Belgium). That's also when and where I met my wife, who has been my only friend in 20 years. She's been amazing, but I would like to be more than just a family man and would love to have an emotional bond with someone else too.

While being social requires an effort for me, I love one-on-one conversations and crave social connections. For this purpose, I have joined several clubs and groups in the past and most people are nice and don't mind talking to me, but never for too long, and sooner rather than later, I'm the one nobody wants to sit next to at the bar or table.

I have a good sense of humour (at least according to some people), but I suck at chit chat and am not "one of the guys".

My psychologist tells me I have to accept myself, but this is hard. I want to live life to the fullest but my lack of social skills restricts me from living the life I want. I need time to rest and recover (which I have), but also need to break out once in a while (which I can't).

I get very frustrated and am chronically stressed.

Can anyone (male of female) identify with this?

Would love to hear from people who have similar experiences or just find someone to connect with.

From talking to autistic people online and in the flesh i sorta get the impression they are more sensitive than people without autism. When you see somebody commenting about how their offended under a joke there is a good chance that person has autism.

But in comparison i am quite insensitive as somebody with atuism and adhd. Me and my friends say the R-slur and F-slur quite often (Dispite me being autistic and apart of the LGBT), i often make jokes about dumb and disgusting shit (like one time i wrote a song called "feline semen" about garfeild's owner accidently drinking his cat's semen), and overall i have virtually no filter. As a matter of fact tbh i feel a little pissed off when i'm forced to shut up and not say what's on my mind.

Is that normal for people with autism and adhd. Also feel free to tell if you think my "Imperssion" at the start is arrucute or not

Edit: Since alot of people misunderstood this;

1. I am not trying to have "offensive humor" nessuarly. Their is a diffrence between making your humor purposly offnesive and not caring if a joke you say is offensive. Jokes where the punchline is just "It's conterverisal" With nothing eles annoy me

2. By "As a matter of fact tbh i feel a little pissed off when i'm forced to shut up and not say what's on my mind." I meant moments where somebody stops me before i can say something, not afterwards

3. I don't get mad when people are offended by it. If they get offended by it i understand. Obviously if somebody is uncomfortable with something i say than i won't say it more. What i mean is i won't think about weather somebody will get offended when i am about say something unless somebody in that the group i'm with has been uncomforatble with the same thing or a similar thing before.

For context, I was asking about different pokemon and how they ranked. Someone mentioned Marshtomp or something? I responded by talking about Shaymin, being one of my favourite pokemon.

My pfp is art that was commissioned and done for me of my warrior cat character.

As you can see, as the conversation moved on, people started to leave the conversation and it became centered more and more around me when I was originally asking for advice and help. Honestly. I am so close to just leaving the server altogether.

Oh, one last thing. At first I was being playful, thinking they were too but I quickly started to realise the conversation was growing more and more hateful.

Things feel different and ok when the right mask is on.

Also, I'm banned from the Asperger's sub, so please spread the word.

I have several non verbal people near where I am in school (have my own room) and my brain REALLY can't take the noises(?) they make and I end up lashing out. And there are two thought in my brain; "fuck those....." you get it, and I hate myself for that and not at the same time? And the other side; is just watching in horror whenever im lashing out since I literally can't control myself, but can still entirely think in my mind, I will punch a wall and not even have any thoughts beforehand of thinking of doing it. No it's not Tourette's, I can completely control my noises and actions when I am not mad, and I even though I can't really control the words I say, they are still words, i just seem to have two minds, one (which is very mad) controlling the actions, one that just sits there, observing what the other is doing. And I really don't know what to do, Ik im being mean to other people, but I literally cant control it