EDIT: i’m literally just checking this post after finishing work, i’m really terribly sorry to all men out there. you absolutely deserve random appreciation for your personality traits or dressing sense or your physical features.

i will try my best to be appreciative of you in every conversation i will have from now on even though i always did that regardless of whom i was talking to.

you do really matter as a soul in at least one person’s life around you, trust me.

My (46m) son (16m) and I have a good relationship I’d say. I’m certainly not “cool” but we get along fine.

About a week ago I was on the couch watching TV and he came in and sat down on the couch beside me and laid his head on my shoulder and put his arms around me and basically cuddled me.

My wife and I just looked at each other with a puzzled look and shrugged. I wasn’t going to complain though. I hugged him back and I played with his hair a bit and rubbed his back some (he was shirtless). We never said anything. After a while he got up and announced he was going to bed.

A few days later he did it again and cuddled me for a bit and then laid his head in my lap. Again I played with his hair some. I had my other arm tucked by my side for a while but that got uncomfortable so eventually I just rested it on my son’s stomach/chest (he was shirtless as usual and laying on his back). I asked how school’s going, I just got a fairly snappy “everything’s fine dad.” We didn’t say anything else.

My wife feels like something must be wrong and I should talk to him about what’s going on. I don’t deny wondering if there’s something causing this new behavior, but I’m just enjoying it while it lasts and I don’t want to “jinx” it. Feel like if I question it he will think I think it’s weird and stop. But I do hope he’s okay.

Also my wife thinks I’m being a little too touchy? She said nothing wrong with some hugging and light cuddling but playing with his hair and rubbing his back and chest is getting a little weird. I was just trying to comfort him and he doesn’t seem to mind so I think it’s fine? Also for the record I didn’t feel like I was “rubbing” his chest, my arm was just kinda resting there. She also finds it a little strange he didn’t put a shirt on.

Do I let my son be and just enjoy the moment? Ask him what’s going on? Is our level of touching appropriate?

Edit: Update here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/s/HgHVHLcQHF

I feel awful about how I feel about my wife and don’t know what to do.

Apologies in advance this may turn into an emotional rant.

Just had our 12th anniversary this year and it was the worst anniversary we have ever had.

For years I’ve complained to her that I feel like her roommate rather than her husband and father to her children. Why do I feel like this? Because whenever I try to show affection such as a random hug or a kiss or just coming up behind her and putting my arms around her and telling her I love her she either physically pushes me away or verbally does.

Like why would a wife not want affection from her husband? This isn’t just a one time thing. It’s a constant issue that I’ve been complaining about to her for years. When I get really adamant about it and tell her how it makes me feel unwanted and unloved, she will change her behavior for a little while and then it eventually goes right back.

In other day to day interactions, it always seems like she thinks the worst of me. Making comments to our marriage counselor of all people that when it comes to some financial decisions I’m just “going to do whatever I want”. That broke me. I have never made a financial decision without talking to her about it before. And when she said that in counseling I was just absolutely crushed as I realized she thinks so little of me.

When it comes to intimacy I have to practically beg her for any kind of contact and then during I feel like I’m graping her because I can tell she’s just doing it to shut me up. I’ve stopped being able to finish with her.

So I tried stopping all of my attempts at any affection with her - no more hugs, or kisses or sex initiated by me. I stopped jumping up when she got home and excitedly talk to her about our days. I started withdrawing from her and spending more time out of the house with friends doing things that made me happy. I spent more time with my son and daughter and I was getting along just fine. She claims she noticed me pulling away but never said anything about it, didn’t make any attempts at affection or talking to me about it. Nothing.

I got a second job that ends up with me interacting with a lot of different women. Some of them show me more attention than my wife does. I can’t help be desire them over my wife. Not that I’m acting on it, but the feelings are there.

Finally it comes up during counseling, and I admit that I don’t feel the way I used to. I’ve lost that spark - that excitement to be around her. I find myself wanting to be with other people more than I want to be around her.

After counseling, we had another talk and I felt horrible telling her how I felt. It just poured out of me. I didn’t yell as I wasn’t mad. I was just extremely sad. And I felt guilty because I know she loves me and doesn’t want to end things but I just feel emotionally checked out.

Once she realized I was ready to call it quits, everything changed. Suddenly she was showering me with affection everyday all day. She finally stopped sitting on the other side of the couch ignoring me and would snuggle up to me wanting to be held. She would initiate kisses, she would initiate sex, she was suddenly the fun girl that I dated all those years ago and not this miserable person that ruined nearly every interaction with other people. In the past she wouldn’t take part in any real get togethers or even just wanting to do fun things with us as a family. Forget it if my family wanted to do things. All she would do is complain about it the whole time. She would be the proverbial “wet blanket”. Not anymore.

Now she’s the first to suggest doing something fun. She’s laughing again and trying to have fun. She’s basically being everything I could have asked her to be again.

Now I feel awful that it’s not working. I still feel the same. Like it’s too late for me emotionally. In the back of my mind all I can think is this is just a temporary thing and it’s going right back to the way it was soon.

This doesn’t feel like a loving marriage anymore for me. It feels like I’m with a girl that really wants to be with me but I’m just staying so I don’t hurt her feelings.

It’s not fair to her. She’s not all bad. She’s a great mother and a great partner. She takes care of the house, she’s got a great job, and she’s supported me through the years. Which makes me feel even worse about how I feel.

Do I just give up? Is there a way to fall back in love with her? I don’t know what to do or if I’m just crazy.

Help.

32M here, and I can't help but feel old seeing that most people my age who are single are moms. Nothing against single moms at all—I even tried dating one when I was 28, a 33F, thinking that was my only option at the time. But honestly, it turned into a complete disaster. The relationship was incredibly messy—so many awkward dynamics with her kid and the father. I felt like I had 100% of the responsibility but zero authority. Anytime I tried to step in or say something, I was labeled the bad guy or accused of not loving her child.

The kid also served as a constant reminder of her ex-husband, and she often compared me to him, claiming he was better—even though, by her own accounts, he was worse. It was incredibly frustrating. Also you can see the disrespect in the kid behavior. Looking back, I’m glad I walked away because, in hindsight, she just wanted someone to act as a father figure for her child and help her out, and then have another kid with her. that relationship left me pretty traumatized, it still haunts me time to time, fuckk i hate ruminating over that relationship.

I’ve realized that the single mom route just isn’t for me—it didn’t work out, and I don’t think I could go through that again.

But man, getting back into dating is rough. It feels like single moms are everywhere, and it just makes me feel even older. Yikes. Just needed to vent.

When i confronted my father for advice, this is what he told me.

"A cheating woman that has been caught is a dangerous woman.

Women hate being caught cheating, because they'll lose their "charm" over you.

Once a woman knows that you're no longer seeing her as virtuous, she'll resent you.

Know this, & save your life."

It's a physical preference for most guys that a woman not be fat, just like it's a physical preference for women that the men they get involved with not be short.

That's literally it.

My partner is absolutely obsessed with anime our room is practically a shrine to it. This past Valentine’s, he went all out, surprising me with flowers, chocolates, and even a designer bag. Honestly, I was so swamped with work that I completely forgot about Valentine’s Day. It only hit me on my way home, and I felt terrible.

I rushed to a nearby mall, clueless about what to get him. I knew he loved anime, and I vaguely remembered him constantly talking about One Piece, so I asked the staff for help. They pointed me to some merch, and I just hoped I picked something he’d actually like.

When I gave it to him, he teared up. At first, I panicked, thinking he was disappointed. But then, he hugged me so tight, and I realized he wasn’t upset. He was overwhelmed that I remembered something he loved, even in the middle of my chaos. I really really amazed how he loved it. Anyone here share the same obsession as my partner? I’d love some advice on what to buy next.I want to see that same reaction from him again.

So my wife is terrified of aluminum. She believes it can contribute to Alzheimer’s. She has been wearing aluminum free deodorant and OMG…it’s bad. Like, very bad. I don’t know how she can stand it. When I come home from work, most of the time the entire house smells like BO. Her dirty laundry in the hamper emits BO. Occasionally she reaches around my neck to give me a hug and it’s like getting rubbed across the cheek very slowly with a damp sponge. I have to actually hold my breath and pretend like I need to go to the bathroom and bolt off. Now I’ll be snarky here, if she was a man I’d just tell him that he smells, but as a woman, she’d probably start crying if I mention this….Whats the gentlest way to approach? Summer is coming 😫

I've been lurking for a few months. Mostly anonymously.

This sub has seen a lot of rapid growth, but with it, I'm basically seeing the same type of shit that I came to this sub to avoid.

To me, this seemed like one of the few legitimately healthy menslib subreddits, and now I don't feel like that's the case anymore. It's still one of the better ones, but it's rapidly declining in real time. I came here to talk about men's shit while avoiding machismo redpill bullshit, and now those sentiments are starting to proliferate here pretty hard.

Like I'm seeing some legitimately repugnant takes on self improvment, women, the world, etc.

Is it even possible to host a public menslib forum today without getting overran by insecure hyper-masc wana-bes? Like we're just trying to live life and deal with human issues. Is there even room for that, as this place continues to radicalize?

Like fuck, I just read a thread today where a bitter devorcee was giving mysogynistic advice to an insecure 22 year old dude. Post history on a family rights subreddit and everything.

How are we supposed to talk about living life and doing guy shit when there's a major undercurrent of bullshit?

Edit: My rapidly growing blocklist is kind of proving my point. Yall are really coming out of the woodwork for this one.

edit 2: yep, notifications are off. This has completely proved my point, and I'm done.

Tonight I found out my girlfriend (we’ve been together for over a year) has active dating apps on her phone—Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble. She tried to claim they were only for “snooping” on her ex-husband, which already felt ridiculous. I calmly asked if she was talking to anyone, and she said no. Then she claimed she didn’t even have the apps downloaded. But I had already seen her active matches and conversations.

When I asked her to show me the apps, she walked away, opened them, and deleted all the messages before showing me an empty inbox, acting like nothing was there. I calmly pulled out my phone and showed her the screenshots I had taken earlier. She went on a rant about how she only wanted “validation,” never met anyone, and how I should trust her.

I told her that I can’t come back from this—this level of lying, hiding, and gaslighting is a dealbreaker. She begged and apologized, but I walked out.

I loved her, but I feel shattered. I don’t want revenge or drama. I care about this person and want them to do well. I just want to move forward. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Update: Went to bed. Woke up to 1.5 million views. Also, not a bot. I’m a real person. To answer a few of the things I read… she’s someone who was cheated on by her ex, she was growing and improving every month. She has lots of external stresses on her, but at her core she is good, I think. However, if she loved me, she would have never done this and actions speak louder than words. Sadly, I can’t go back even if I wanted to. This was the Kiss of Death that you can’t just move on from. I already forgive her, I’m not angry, I’m just sad that any hope of a future just randomly imploded in my face last night.

Update 2: Figured I would link the pics. https://imgur.com/a/p

Kept making eye contact with a cashier week after week. Engaged in a little friendly conversation here and there, made a couple jokes. Definitely felt like there was something there enough to shoot, so I decided to.

Jumped in her line this week with the intention of making a move, aaand I bitched out of course. On my way home, I felt like a coward. Instant regret. So I said screw it and turned the car around. I had no plan, no idea of how I was gonna approach the girl, but I said fuck it and went into the store not 30 mins from when I was there last. She was standing at the register with a male coworker, and I walked right up to them. Mind you, absolutely zero plan. But I was feeling good.

I said “hi, I forgot something at the register when I checked out, I’m hoping you can help me” she starts looking around and says “oh no you lost something? What was it?” The male coworker started looking around as well. I said as calmly as I could, “your number. I’m hoping you can help me with that”. The male coworker walks away immediately which I found interesting. She looks me in the eyes for 3 seconds straight, clearly taken by surprise. I just stand there maintaining eye contact, feels like an eternity has passed. She begins to stutter, and finally gets out the words… “uh uh well I can’t I have a boyfriend”.

I say “oh really? That’s unfortunate. Well have a good day!” And walked off. Walked past the male coworker and said “looks like I blew that one eh?” He goes “hey you gotta shoot your shot man” and I left. What do you guys think of my experience this morning, how should I feel?!

Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/s/ayI6UXhKDB

hi everybody! i'm not sure if anyone remembers me but about a month ago i posted here asking for advice bc i (16f) had overheard my older brother crying late at night. i just wanted to update if anybody is interested. i want to thank everybody who commented. i got some really good advice.

my brother is not the type of person who's physically affectionate so the day after i made my post, i went out and bought some chocolates and stuff and left it in his room. he asked me if i was the one who'd done it and i said yes. he asked me why and i just said that i missed him and i had noticed he was looking a bit down so i thought about cheering him up, and then i hugged him

i thought i would have to give him time and space before he was willing to talk but his reaction was totally unexpected. he didn't cry but he got weirdly tense and ended up confessing that he had been having a hard time recently. we sat together in his room and spoke for a long time. he was talking about uni and the friends he'd made there, and apparently one of his mates, while driving back home for the holidays, had gotten into a terrible road accident. he was in the hospital for a week or so and my brother got the news a few days ago that he didn't make it.

i don't know if i was any help, i was sitting there quiet, letting him speak and at the end of it, i gave him a hug again. he said i was the first person he told and he didn't want "help" from other people but it had clearly affected him badly. i asked him if he would consider therapy or something and he said no, so i guess he wants some space to grieve? but he looked as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders. later on he ended up telling our parents what happened, and contacted his mate's family who invited him to the funeral. the rest of the holidays went well, our dad bought the whole family f1 tickets for christmas so we have that to look forward to:) he's going back to uni soon but he told me he was glad he could open up to someone.

thank you everybody who helped again:) if there's any more advice that people have i would love to hear it!

Men and Women are welcomed and encouraged to comment, agree, or disagree.

So many women have expressed frustration about being approached by ‘the wrong guy,’ often labeling these men as creeps. While its understandable, I believe this reaction may have accidentally worsened the problem. Let me explain.

Before the internet, men from all walks of life approached women. These included men with good intentions who cared about women’s feelings, (Let's call this Group 1) and men who didn’t (Let's call this Group 2).

Over time, as women began publicly voicing discomfort and labeling certain behaviors as creepy, a shift occurred.

The good-hearted men in Group 1—those who genuinely care about women’s comfort—started to withdraw. They didn’t want to risk making women uncomfortable or being perceived negatively, so they opted to stop approaching altogether.

Meanwhile, men in Group 2, who never cared about women’s feelings in the first place, continued to approach women. As a result, women began encountering men predominantly from Group 2.

This dynamic creates a skewed reality for women, where the majority of men they interact with fall into the ill-intentioned category (Group 2). From their perspective, it seems as though most men are inconsiderate or worse.

When women share these experiences online, they resonate with others who feel the same, reinforcing a belief that men, as a whole, are problematic. This growing narrative leads many women to conclude that they don’t want to be approached by men at all. Publicly sharing this sentiment further discourages Group 1 men from approaching, solidifying the cycle.

Now, I’m not entirely sure what the best solution is, but it seems clear that the current approach isn’t working. My idea is to try the opposite:

Instead of discouraging all approaches, perhaps we could promote respectful interactions. Encouraging men in Group 1—those who are considerate and empathetic—to approach women in friendly, non-invasive ways could help shift the dynamic.

Men in Group 2 will likely continue their behavior regardless, but creating an environment where respectful approaches are encouraged might inspire more men from Group 1 to get involved, leading to a more balanced and positive experience for everyone.”

I had a personal trainer try to pick a physical fight with me.

He was an A class dickhead. I'd take my wife to the gym with me every Saturday so she can use the squat machine. Otherwise she trains at home. He'd RUN to go put his stuff on the ONLY assisted squat machine when he would see us walk in.

His client would use the machine in parallel to 2 other machines & farmers walks up & down. So it would be 30-40 minutes of waiting.

I'd ask him - how long he would be & if my wife could share the machine whilst his client is doing the other exercises - "I don't know. I'm not obligated to share. Next time be here earlier bra."

One week ago, we arrived and he wasn't on the floor. So I took his move & made a beeline for the assisted squat rack & put my stuff down for my wife to use it.

When he appeared a few minutes later, he came to ask me how long we would be.

I told him "I don't know. I'm not obligated to share. Next time be here earlier."

He got pissed off & told me " I needed to learn some respect" & to meet him outside.

I agreed & said I'll see you in 5 minutes. My wife wasn't happy about the situation and asked to leave. I told her I have a plan. I decided to suprise him & bring the gym manager with me. He was put on suspension - pending investigation.

He came to apologize 10 minutes later & asked he if I'd formally retract my complaint as this is his only income - "You need to learn some respect. I'll be opening a docket with the police so if you try this again, I'll have you arrested and formally charged."

I'm not opposed to fighting, I used to do amateur boxing, but I genuinely don't want to fight someone over something so petty. Plus there's always a chance he could lay a charge against me for physical assault.

Edit 1 - the reason why I ask is I went back to the gym today & a few guys I considered "gym friends" found out about the incident. 2 of them were of the opinion that I should have just accepted his apology. 2 others asked why I just didn't fight him and end it like that.

Edit 2 - I found out today that he was terminated and banned from working & entering any gym that is on their brand - it's the biggest commercial gym in my country.

That said, I believe I chose the best possible outcome given the situation. As does my wife.

Edit 3 - Thank you everyone for your awesome comments & for the awards. I appreciate it ♥️♥️

I've been lurking in this sub for a while and I often read how other mens relationship got destroyed when they upened up to their GF. I have the feeling that this is the case for me aswell and I really dont know how to deal with it.

Before my GF I was the type of guy who could sleep with multiple different women in a week and not feel a thing. Obviously I promised them the world on the outside but deep down I didn't feel a thing for them. I had the emotional capacity of a rock. But with her it changed. She is the very first person I care more about then myself and the first person I thought I could actually show true emotions towards.

A little while ago the dog of my fathers side, who I grew up with, died and I was alone with my GF and I just broke. It was the first time in years or even a decade that I cried. I just couldnt hold it anymore... somehow this also opened up other things inside of me that I didn't deal with emotionally ever. Like for example that ai basicially grew up without a Mom and the fact that I was very insecure about my body for a long time because of my weight ( which made me go into the other direction later on where I do sports nearly every other day to never be overweight again). This whole venting felt really good but all my GF answered afterwards was "are you done? Then you better go to sleep" which I found pretty odd but didn't think to much about.

Now ever since her attitude towards me changed. Before she regularely just vented about her Work and day to me and asked me for adivce. Sehr would tell me stories from when she was younger. She would randomly do cute little things for me. She doesnt do that anymore, like none of it. At first I really didn't know what I did and maybe if I am just overthinking it but since I saw this subreddit and read the experiences of other men it somehow clicked for me. I think I lost her respect ever since I opened up.

What do I do in this situation? Is there a chance to make things right again? Because like I said she is the only person I ever opened up towards and I dont think I can get that same trust with anyone else again :/

Man has problems with a woman: "Talk to her. Use your words. Communication is key. dId YoU tAlK tO hEr?"

Woman has problems with a man: "Dump his ass. He's no good. Girl, you can do better."  

My (25M) girlfriend (23F) recently asked if we could “open” the relationship, and I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to process that. The way she framed it was very calm and modern: she said it wasn’t about loving me less, just about not wanting to feel restricted and wanting to explore experiences while we’re still young. She talked about honesty, communication, and how some couples make it work.

But if I’m being completely honest, my first reaction wasn’t curiosity. It was feeling insulted. People can dress it up in the language of “growth” and “exploration,” but at a gut level it sounds like she’s saying she still wants the stability I provide while also seeing what else is out there. It’s hard not to interpret that as a lack of real attraction. If someone is genuinely into you, the instinct usually isn’t to go looking for additional options. The request itself makes me feel like I’m the safe choice, not the desired one.

To set the scene I’m mid 40s, married for roughly 15 years and I have two kids (6 and 11).

Using the typical measures you could say that my life so far has been a success. Money isn’t a problem, good education, lived and worked in different countries, well travelled (50+ countries) and my wife and kids are happy and healthy.

Over the years I’ve been a go getter. I’d work hard, was always looking for that next role/promotion, I’d take risks, I’d make decisions quickly, I played sport, I was strong, I was confident and was often social and I never really over thought anything.

It sounds embarrassing to say this but the last few years have felt really hard. I feel incredibly lonely, I have no male friends, I live in my head a lot, I overthink most things and can’t make a decision and the emotional highs and lows of day to day life can feel intense and tiring.

I’ve normalised how I feel by telling myself that most men around my age feel the same way I do and I’ve really bought into that quote about most men living a life of quiet desperation. Thinking this way helps me cope.

Is that the case, do other men feel like me? One day you had hopes, dreams and ambitions but now life just feels like you’re going through the motions (work, house jobs, kids, sleep, repeat), wishing the years away?

My (F) fiancé (M) goes absolutely nuts over sundresses. It seems like I’m completely irresistible to him when I’m wearing a sundress; it’s like turning on a light switch. He drops everything and is in like a trance or something. Not even him, but every other man I or my friends have dated is obsessed. So what is the deal with sundresses in particular?? I don’t get why they seem more sexy universally when ‘sexy’ tight clothing doesn’t get the same hype.

Every morning my wife, who I love very much, puts 10+ fancy pillows on the bed of varying sizes. Every night before bed, she takes all but 2 off to go to sleep. We also have so many throw-pillows on the couches, you can't sit down without throwing them. (Which I'm assuming gives them that name). The impracticality of it is like Chinese water torture, slowly driving me to insanity. For men that have been married for many years, how do you put up with this everyday for the rest of your life and stay sane?

TLDR: I've known for a while that my wife monitors some aspects of my life behind my back and it was a joke for a while, but recently she accidentally revealed that she's monitoring more than what she let on and that she tried to keep it secret from me.

Longer Version: We've been married for 18 years. 2 kids. She's an accountant and is much better with monitoring our bank accounts than me. So when I learned that she would get notifications about my spending on the credit card, it was no big deal since weve been hacked before and want to prevent unauthorized spending. She would make comments about where I had stopped for lunch, for example, which I eventually realized she knew because she got some kind of notification about my spending. No huge deal, and probably a good thing. I wish she had let me know she was doing this in a different way, but whatever.

Our daughter is 17, and when she started driving last year, my wife put a tracking app on our daughter's phone (without our daughter knowing) to know where she is. I was a bit uneasy about it, so my wife and I have had conversations about the ethics of that and decided it's a necessary evil since we're dealing with a teenager. We decided not to tell her.

Fast forwarding to last week, I learned that my wife at some point gave herself automatic access to the photos on my phone and never told me. In the past if I had been taking pictures at a family event or something, she would ask if she could borrow my phone afterward to send the pictures to herself. I have no problem with that and would hand it over. I don't password-protect my phone and have no concerns about her seeing anything on it, though I think it's common decency to ask first. (I've never needed her phone for anything, but if I did, I would ask permission first.) While I was traveling for work last week she asked me to take a bunch of pictures to send to her niece as part of a school project, which I did. The day after I got back home, I said something about how I needed to send those pictures to my wife's sister, and my wife said "I already did." I did a double-take and said "When did you borrow my phone?", since she hadn't asked. I figured she would say something like "while you were showering" or something, which would be annoying but not terrible. However, she immediately got cagey and embarrassed, with a look that made it obvious that she knew she had said something she shouldn't have said. I asked her if she has automatic access to my photos somehow and she admitted that she did. I asked how and she said that a while ago she went into my phone and gave herself access to my Google Photos account. She apologized and said she knew she should have asked for permission but didn't. I asked what else she gave herself access to and she promised she hadn't done anything else. We had some arguments about the ethics of that, with her continually making the case that it's more efficient that way instead of borrowing my phone, and my continually telling her that she was missing the point -- that it was an invasion of my privacy to do so without my permission and to then hide it from me.

Since then I've really had my trust shaken. This kind of thing has happened before where she would do something sneaky behind my back, only to backtrack, make excuses, or simply apologize when I found out. I've started trying to figure out if she's doing other things to track and monitor me. I'm torn between the feeling that I have nothing to hide and that it's not a big deal vs feeling that she is violating my trust.

How significant is this?

BTW, I'm posting from a throwaway account for obvious reasons.

Update: Between writing that original post and now, I found the email showing that she had turned on automatic sharing of photos on Halloween. (While I think I'm pretty good at a lot of things, keeping on top of many email accounts is not one of my strengths, which she knows.) I then remembered that several times since then she has asked me for my phone like she normally does to send herself pictures that I had taken. On Christmas morning, for example, she asked for my phone to text herself pictures. I couldn't make sense of why she would do that if she already had access, and it finally dawned on me that she had done that to keep me in the dark. I confronted her just now about the whole situation, but held off on reminding her of that last detail. She claimed that 1) Our daughter knows about the Life360 app and that my wife can track her location. I'll verify later when I see her. 2) She said that she knew she shouldn't have given herself access to my pictures, that she knew it was wrong, and that she should have told me. She claimed there's nothing else she's hiding from me. I told her that she had been doing more than that, that she had been intentionally misleading me about what was going on. She acted like she had no idea what I was talking about and kept playing dumb for a while. As soon as I said "On Christmas Day..." she said "I know, I know." She admitted that she had done that to keep me from realizing she had access, but that she didn't think the time was right on Christmas to tell me the truth. To me, that's a deliberate and calculated lie. Some lies are little white lies meant to protect someone's feelings. Some lies are lies of omission where someone fails to tell the whole truth. This was an orchestrated (and successful) act of continued deception where the only purpose was to further her dishonesty. She immediately knew what I was talking about and admitted it and said she felt like she had gone too far and had to keep lying. I told her that if she had just asked for permission to access my photos account in tge first place I would have given it to her, so I couldn't understand why all the elaborate lying. She said she had no excuse. I walked out and drove away. That's where we stand now.

Update 2: It's the next day.

• I've followed a lot of people's advice and put more security on my phones, email, and other accounts, partially due to this situation but also just because everyone's responses have made me realize how much more seriously I need to take that in general.

• I spoke with my daughter, who said she is aware that my wife uses Life360 on her and is OK with it. When my wife originally suggested we all use it, I declined having it on my phone and had a problem with her suggesting it be done without our daughter's knowledge, but I did concede to her doing it for our daughter anyway. Between then and now, though, apparently my wife did let her know and our daughter is OK with it, so I'm not worried about her breaking that trust.

• A lot of people have suggested that I go through my wife's phone and other accounts, either behind her back or right in front of her with no warning. I won't be doing either. I feel so violated by the sneakiness and the subsequent lying that she did, and I have no intention of being someone who does that to someone else. Maybe that's a mistake on my part, but that's how I'm going to handle it.

I’m a youth leader at church and I see the women youth leaders holding the little kids hands all the time . No one thinks anything of it , but then last week one of the male youth leaders was holding a kids hand as they were walking down the hall and rumors started spreading about it and then he was told he can’t do that . Why do people look at men like pervs for everything when women will do the same thing and it’s not considered weird.

Just wondering because I'm just starting a relationship (4 months in) and it's going well, but sometimes I wonder if he is just trying to appease me. I love talking and having a good conversation, and we have great talks but he's definitely quieter then I am. He will just listen to me talk about my day, giving his thoughts. I ask if I'm talking too much, and he just says "no, I like listening to you talk." If I apologize for talking too much he firmly tells me not to be sorry. He will tell other people "she talks, I listen". Is this a dynamic that really works for you guys? Or does he just say this stuff to appease, or because of love googles? I'd love to hear from other quiet guys.

Update: So I had no idea this would get so much attention! I've read nearly all your comments and a lot of them make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Seems the general consensus is that most of ya'll love yappers.

For everyone who said "Why don't you trust him, why are you asking reddit?" The truth is you guys are totally right. He's very kind and thoughtful, and has never given me reason to doubt him. The truth is I was raised to believe that I was too loud, talk too much, and am generally "too annoying". And he's the nicest guy I've ever dated by far. I have to start just accepting that it's not wrong for a guy to be nice to me. For everyone who asked if i ask him questions, absolutely. I like hearing about his life too, and his interests, he just doesn't have as much to say as I do.

He has had a 12 hour head start before his face has gone viral. Where do you think he is hiding? How is he traveling? Did he food prep a hideout? Let’s hear everyone’s thoughts. I’m sure it will come out eventually and be a Netflix movie someday.