Been living here since 2 years now. Coming from a country that people get easily impressed by wealth, here I’ve seen the opposite. What I’ve encountered is that people here barely care what you do for a living and they don’t calculate their respect based on your choice of career. Being kind is the most valuable thing here. Is it a cultural thing to be this humble or am I tripping?

Thanks in advance

Sometimes I’m wondering where do some people who post in this subreddit live or what kind of research they’ve made before moving to this country.

My partner and I moved to Germany about a year ago. Several reasons played a role in this: we can get married legally, the country is gorgeous, the pay for the same work is bigger, groceries are cheaper than in my country, easy connections for every city, and the list could go on.

Yes, we come from another EU country that is not well seen by most, so finding an apartment was a humiliating nightmare. Yes, we’ve had more homophobic incidents than in our home country although none were from ethnic Germans. Yes, the trains are frustratingly late.

But nevertheless, some of the posts here just don’t add up. We’ve lived in four cities of different sizes (including Frankfurt to ones of 24.000 people), visited over 40 cities in this time frame, and saw five lands.

Here are some of the things I didn’t encounter or seemed weird to me:

• the people aren’t friendly: yes, they are. For a population known as being cold, Germans always smile and greet you when you enter a store or pass by somebody on a forrest road.

• they’re cold and distant: actually, they’re just awkward and introverted and highly selective of whom they befriend. Spend time with a German and not talk first and you’ll see how much of an effort they make to have a conversation about a thing that you may have in common.

• they switch to English instantly: maybe in the big cities? Go to a smaller city and you won’t get that. People at the store are always making conversation and I just wish I knew enough German to reply appropriately. Some even notice me struggling responding and still don’t make “the switch.” You’re lucky, wanna trade places?

• the food is not great: it can be based on what you like and order / buy. And if you don’t like it (not even Schnitzel?) you have dozens of other cultures to choose from in any store, restaurant or fest.

• they don’t want to befriend you: no, they don’t really. They already have friends. You have a group of friends at home and so do they. Befriend other foreigners. My friend circle includes Arabs, Turks, East Asians, Subsaharan Africans etc. Why do you specifically need a German friend? They’re not accessories. It will happen if it will come naturally, don’t force it, just enjoy it!

• they want you to speak German very well: I also had this misconception that you can get by just with English her. To a degree, you can. But not in everything, even for lower end jobs.

• they stare: this one makes me the most curious because where do people come from that nobody stares at you while “the German stare” is a thing? Germans stare way less than people in my home country, it’s refreshing! (Although some really do stare from their cars while driving in a curbe and that’s a bit too much, haha).

• German bureaucracy and mail: yes, Germany is known for its strict laws and bureaucracy. Is it frustrating and tiring and too much? Yes. Is it absolutely German? Ja klar!

• they’re gloomy and complain a lot: even German talk about this. I find the opposite to be true, as even after complaining they will add something to try to make it more positive, be it a laughter or a “but it’s not that bad.” And even when they remain serious they’re kinda funny and adorable in their seriousness about a topic that’s not necessarily that serious or how catastrophic their views can be.

• they don’t have a sense of humor: yes, they do, it’s just very awkward, dry and deadpan. It’s an acquired taste for some but you will get used to it.

What are your thoughts, regardless if you’re German or not? Do you feel like some of these cultural shocks or issues are a bit overblown or could have easily been solved with a minimum of research?

I'm working in Germany for a month as an American. I'm just a factory worker, nothing fancy. I lurk here a bit and thought it might be interesting for people to hear observations from an American factory shlub working in Germany.

The first thing that I noticed was the Germans are treated more like actual adults as far as safety goes. In the US its like, holy fuck you don't have your safety shoes, glasses, vest ect, past this LINE, then ur fucked. Instant write up.

A couple things blew me away though. In the German factory break room they had multiple pics of topless women hanging up. Like these mother fuckers have been hanging up for awhile too. And I was like, Fuck Yes! Lol. If you put that shit up in the US, you 100% get fucking fired. Like instantly.

And the best part, they drink fucking beer. Theres empty racks by all the fridges. They're not getting shit faced. Just a beer at the end of the day and shit like that. Again, in a US factory, you are fired instantly for this.

So different. As an American you tend to feel like you are living totally as free as can be, and that Europeans don't enjoy anything close to the freedom that Americans enjoy. I was wrong. And most importantly, you really need to travel, and live it a bit before you can really form any kind of opinion.

Hi everyone. Today was my second time at work where I have been called a Nazi, in the space of 3 months.

Bit of context, I am 3/4 German, 1/4 English, and I live in Nottingham, England. I speak german and English. I am very proud of my German heritage and I don’t shy away from speaking German when I need to. I was bullied heavily for being German in primary school, being called a Nazi when my peers didn’t even understand what that word meant. To me, this is a discriminative slur.

I work in a pub, my colleagues are all similar ages to me, and about 2 months ago we all went out for “work drinks” and this one girl was already really drunk and being very loud and I told her to maybe chill out a little as we were in a small pub, she says “why is it because you’re a Nazi?” And she continued to blurt this out about 4 times. There was no accountability taken as a result of this.

Fast forward to my shift this evening, a different colleague, who I considered to be one of my good friends, asked me if I had seen a film which I belive was about the Holocaust, I said no I hadn’t. They say “of course you haven’t, you fucking nazi” and laughed.

I have not been called a Nazi since high school, which was about 6 years ago, and I am just so shocked and honestly really disheartened that this has happened not once, but twice. Anyway, it’s not really a question, but I needed to vent my feelings. It really sucks. Thank you for reading.

So I’ve been living in Germany for a little while now, and while I expected bureaucracy and great bread… I did not expect:

How quiet trains are. Like, eerily quiet. You whisper, or you feel judged.

People separating trash like it’s a competitive sport.

Sundays. Everything is closed. EVERY. THING.

Eye contact. Germans don’t do small talk, but they will stare directly into your soul on public transport.

And the love for sparkling water. Still water? Might as well ask for unicorn tears.

But honestly? I’ve grown to really appreciate it all. The structure, the work-life balance, even the „Kehrwoche.“ It’s quirky, it’s different, but it works.

I’m curious,, For Germans here: What’s one thing you think foreigners always get wrong about Germany? And for fellow expats: What shocked you most when you arrived?

I think I accidentally discovered a cultural difference by turning down coffee that I actually wanted.

I was visiting a German friend's parents for the first time. His mother asked if I wanted coffee and, without thinking, I said, “No thanks.”

Where I grew up, that first refusal is often almost ceremonial. You say no, the host asks again, you say “well, if you're having some...” and everybody understands the little dance.

She just said “okay.”

Then she made coffee for herself and everyone else.

I sat there realizing that apparently I had successfully negotiated myself out of coffee.

About twenty minutes later she offered cake. My instincts screamed “politely refuse first,” but this time I immediately said YES like someone had finally explained the rules of the game.

Nothing about the interaction was rude. If anything, taking my answer seriously makes perfect sense.

But now I'm curious: when Germans offer you food or a drink, are you generally expected to say what you actually want the first time?

If someone says “nein danke,” would asking again feel pushy rather than hospitable?

Seriously, I haven’t seen such a hype in any other country about any other vegetable. I get that its healthy and is grown here, but what is the reason of this obsession with Spargel and Spargel season in Germany?

Edit: I’m not saying asparagus is not tasty or something people, chill jeez. I just find the over-excitement interesting.

I've been traveling a lot these past few years and every country I go to whether that be in Asia, Central America etc there are always an abundance of germans in my hostels

Since moving to Germany, I have noticed a pattern that still confuses me. People sometimes seem reserved at first, but then help in a very concrete way without making a big emotional show of it.

When I moved into my current neighbourhood, an older neighbour barely introduced himself. Two days later, he noticed me struggling with a heavy shelf, brought tools, helped assemble it properly, and left immediately after saying “passt so”. Another person at work spent an hour helping me solve a bureaucratic problem, but looked almost uncomfortable when I thanked her warmly.

Where I grew up, helpfulness usually comes with more conversation, reassurance and visible friendliness. Here it sometimes feels like the action itself is supposed to say everything.

Is practical help considered a more sincere form of friendliness in Germany than warm words? Or am I simply misreading a communication style that separates kindness from emotional closeness more clearly?

If I compare Germany to the country of my family (Chile) and to others we travelled to, it really is the safest place Ive seen so far. I wonder why people in comment sections on YT complain so much about the security.

As a fact, German houses are not secured with meter long grid or big walls like in other countries. Also, people walk freely with their phone in hand on the street without fear of being robbed. In Germany, you can run a business without criminals entering your store and asking you for money and robbing you. There is also no one with guns in the street like in South America. In Germany, no one tries to drag you into his car to bring you to an unknown place and than ask your family for money. This dies not happen in Europe at all, but in South America everyday.

When I walk in German city with open eyes, It is really relaxed and feels like paradise compared to South America. I dont get it why people bother so much about security issues in your society. Its about perspective of life I guess.

A new IAB research report (15/2025) just came out (I took part in it). It states that Germany needs 400,000 net immigrants annually just to maintain its workforce potential. The irony, according to the study, is that the most qualified ones (the people Germany claims it wants) are the most likely to leave again.

It's the highly educated (Master's/PhD), the high earners, and those who speak good German and English. In short, the people who have options and are internationally mobile.

The main reasons cited for planning to leave are "cumbersome bureaucracy" and "high tax burdens". But "political dissatisfaction" and "experiences of discrimination" (especially with authorities or at wor) are also major factors. A low subjective "sense of being welcome" is a top predictor for leaving.

My question to you: Does this match your observations?

Is the German system (bureaucracy, social climate) basically an unintentional filter that ends up retaining only those immigrants who lack the means or qualifications to go elsewhere?

My husband is a Dorfkind. Two years ago we moved to the village he was raised in. Almost every month there is at least one party he attends and comes home like at 6 OClock in the morning absolutely obliterated. Than spends the next day just sleeping.He explains to me that is normal village life and everyone does it. That is how people are normally living and has nothing to do with alcohol problem. Thats their way of partying.My in-laws tell me the same. Is it true? Is that really a cultural thing? Or am i being gaslight.

I am sorry if my question is not for this thread.

Edit: He is in his middle Thirties. He is drinking every day 2 to 6 beers after work. Almost every week he is drunk (not fully wasted). Beer is like a water for him. He says it is not a big deal. He does that since before i met him (being blacked out drunk on parties). He was drinking occasionally after work but after moving here it got worse. I said i dont like how he drinks from the beginning and he said he can change that it is not a big deal. But he was just drinking at night while i was asleep.

Edit 2: OMG i did not expect my post to blow up like it did. Thank you to everyone for the support. I got so much useful information. Thank to all the professionals who wrote me how to try to help him realise.

Keine Frage, aber eine Feststellung: ich lebe seit 20 Jahren in Deutschland und ihr schafft es immer noch, mich völlig aus dem Konzept zu bringen. Neulich kam jemand zu mir und antwortete mir auf die Frage, was er gelernt habe: Gas, Wasser, scheiße.

Ich dachte, er wollte mich provozieren. Nachdem ich es gegoogelt habe, war mir dann zwar klar, was er beruflich macht aber come on, folks, ihr seid crazy 😅😅😅

So I've been living in Germany since almost 10 years. I speak business fluent German, have a decent job in IT advisory, bought a house, try to live as a good citizen in general with my partner (she's from Spain) and even sent recently my application for the Einbürgerung.

I arrived first to northern Germany (Bremen) when I was 27 years old. Back then the immigration waves were just starting but life felt still very "German". Had encounters of all types with people from some being curious about my background in a friendly way, to others being more distant bc of me being Ausländer. All of that was ok and I kinda expected all of that as an immigrant who doesn't look German at all (I'm a brown-skinned mexican, but people say I look more like Turkish hehe)

Now at 37, I live in Baden-Württemberg (near Mannheim since 6 years ago) and I feel way more negativity out there when it comes to first time encounters. I get more aggressive stares and less friendly encounters as before, which only change after people actually get to know me. Not sure if it's my mind playing tricks to me because of all the immigration and far-right raising topics, but I've really felt a change compared to back then.

I do acknowledge we have a problem in Germany of migrants not really getting integrated, but I feel that the phenomenon has been developed so much, that now you can really see the society split in Germans and non-Germans and not getting any better in that sense.

Happy to hear any opinions or experiences from anybody who would like to contribute, bc again, not sure if it's my mind playing tricks over me and I'm just getting crazy :)

Thanks for reading, sending love out there, xoxo :)

EDIT: wow didn't expect that many replies to this post, thx all for speaking out, my conclusion is we are all in this shit together in one way or another, so we can only keep trying to give the best from us, stay positive and hope for the best in the future. Saludos a todos!

You ever step outside, and the streets are so empty you wonder if you missed a government warning?

That’s what Sundays feel like here.

No shops. No errands. No buzzing crowds in grocery stores. Just silence and the occasional distant church bell. At first, I thought something was wrong. But turns out, that’s just how Sundays roll in Germany.

Once I got used to it, I actually started to love it. There’s something kind of magical about the forced pause. People walking, couples sitting in cafés, entire families just… being outside. It’s the kind of slow rhythm that’s hard to find elsewhere.

Of course, you learn the hard way to stock up on Saturday, forget that and you're stuck eating dry toast and questionable fridge leftovers.

But all in all? There's something pretty special about living in a place where Sundays are sacred for doing nothing at all

I am Canadian, and I am avoiding travel to the US for the next 4 years because I am mad about the tariffs Trump imposed on Canada, and I am worried ICE will rough me up if they find I said something mean about Trump on Social media. Are Germans avoiding travelling to the US? I have heard of some ICE detention horror stories towards Germans and Canadians:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/mar/11/german-tourists-ordeal-reportedly-ending-returned-from-us-detention

https://globalnews.ca/news/11080371/canadian-woman-detained-ice-example-immigration-border/

Honestly, I came in expecting rules, cold weather, and bureaucracy—and those are definitely here.

But no one told me how beautiful the lakes are in summer, or how relaxing it is to sit with strangers and just enjoy silence without it being awkward.

Curious—what’s one thing that surprised you (in a good way) about living here?

I'm 23, and almost 2 years ago I moved to Germany from Poland to study economics. For more than half a year I'm actively looking for a job and honestly wtf is happening? I already have a degree, some work experience in financial audit, know 4 languages (Polish, English, German and Russian) and don't have any diseases or disabilities. I can't even count how many applications I have sent only to get 1 (wordly: one) job interview. I've improved my CV with AI, always attach all the documents which might be relevant and it gets me NOTHING. I don't even know what I should do.

Edit: my German is good enough to study in this language, have chill conversations and for native germans to tell me that my German is good, so that's not the case.

Edit 2.0: I did it! I got a job in insurance company

I am visiting Germany, and struggling to get a vibe check on Tchibo. They sell coffee, and I first understood them to be a coffee brand. But they also sell clothes. And household items? And they have their own store-fronts, but also little nooks in corner stores, but also random shelves in grocery stores? I have never seen a company that does this combination of things, and I struggle to put it together in my mind into "one thing".

So Germans, could you help me out? What's the vibe on Tchibo? Are they cool? Upmarket? Do people love it, laugh at it, a bit of both?

I find it kind of cute how people here can’t stand keeping the windows closed for too long.

In meetings, there’s always that moment—usually around the 30- to 45-minute mark—when someone starts feeling uneasy and insists on opening all the windows, saying we’ve “used up all the oxygen.” And it’s funny because it happens with so many people from this country.

Meanwhile, I’m just sitting there, maybe a bit warm, but breathing perfectly fine.

And the best part? I work in one of those ultra-modern offices with high-tech ventilation systems, perfectly controlled temperature, and every comfort you can think of.

One of the things that surprised me most when I first moved to Germany was how different grocery shopping feels here compared to other places Ive lived.

In the US, going to the grocery store often means driving 15 minute, wandering around a massive supermarket with 15 brands of everything, and somehow still forgetting the one thing I actually came for. And don’t even get me started on prices lately yikes.

But in Germany? I can walk to a small local store, get fresh bread, veggies, meat, and some random shampoo I forgot I needed, and be home in under 30 minutes. Lidl, Aldi, Edeka, doesn’t matter, there’s usually one nearby, and it’s almost always quick, organized and cheap

I love how the selection is more focused. Yeah, you don’t get 12 kinds of peanut butter, but you also don’t stand in the aisle overthinking for 10 minutes. It’s efficient. You get in, you get out. And the bakery section? A dream. Even the "cheap" supermarkets have better bread than most grocery stores in the US

Also, returning bottles for cash feels like such a no-brainer now. Why don’t more countries do this? It's clean, it's simple, and it just works.

Some people complain that the cashiers are too fast or the lines feel stressful, but honestly? I kind of love the no-frills vibe. You're not there to make friends 😅 you’re there to get your groceries and go live your life.

Is it perfect? No. Sometimes stores close earlier than I expect, or I wish they had certain products I’m used to from back home. But overall, German grocery stores are wildly underrated. Efficient, affordable, and reliable. What more do you really need?

I had a slightly awkward situation recently that made me realize I don't understand the German rules for ending a visit.

A couple I know came over for dinner. We had a good evening, but around 11:30 I was exhausted and had work the next morning.

Where I'm from, you would usually start dropping hints. Clear the glasses, mention how early you have to get up, maybe yawn dramatically enough that everyone understands the performance.

I tried the German version of subtlety and said, “I have to be up at six tomorrow.”

They both said, “Oh, that’s early.”

And then opened another bottle of wine.

Eventually, around 12:30, I just said something like, “Sorry, I’m really tired, I think I need to call it a night.”

They immediately got up, thanked me for the evening and left completely normally.

Nobody seemed offended.

So now I'm wondering if I wasted an hour trying to communicate through increasingly desperate body language.

Among Germans, is it socially acceptable to simply tell guests that you're tired and want to end the evening? Or are there more polite phrases everyone is expected to recognize?

I honestly believe that all this talk about a "shortage of skilled workers" is largely manufactured, especially by employers' associations. It’s a convenient narrative to steer high school graduates into specific university programs and to justify loosening immigration rules to bring in cheap labor.

Yes, there’s a shortage of people willing to do low-paid, physically demanding, or stressful jobs like truck driving, warehouse picking, parcel delivery, cleaning, or working as a medical assistant. But that’s not the same as a shortage of skilled workers. That’s a shortage of decent wages and working conditions.

I studied process engineering in mechanical engineering and earned an M.Sc., only to end up sending out over 100 applications before finally landing a low-paid temp agency job. That’s not what a skilled labor shortage looks like. Some companies seriously offered me €38,000 gross a year - in Hamburg, with an M.Sc. from a good university in the technical field. Like I should be grateful for a salary that barely covers rent and groceries. I'm now working at a good company, but breaking into the field was difficult. My fellow students had the same experience.

The same goes for IT. The so-called "IT boom" is basically over. Meanwhile, we have record numbers of college students in IT-related degrees. And yet, salaries are stagnating, entry-level jobs are scarce or heavily concentrated in just a few cities, and companies still act like they’re doing us a favor by offering 6-months contracts.

In reality, many employers are not struggling to find skilled workers. They’re struggling to find people willing to work under the conditions they’re offering. That’s a very different problem.

Better pay, stable contracts, and actual respect for qualified workers would solve a lot more than just importing more labor or pumping more students into the system.

What are your experiences and opinions on this topic?

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https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fachkr%C3%A4ftemangel

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verein_Deutscher_Ingenieure#Kritik_an_der_Kampagne_zum_Fachkr%C3%A4ftemangel_(2011)

Since Amazon openly joined the Dark Side and isn't even pretending anymore, I finally cancelled my Prime and Audible. I don't want to support fascism and exploitation with my purchases. Where do you shop "locally" (germany/EU) online?

Edit: Mods, please lock this post. I thank all here for their great suggestions. I feel way less overwhelmed and lost now. But the professional troll army arrived. They literally post the same script. Identical arguments in an identical order and with nearly identical wording in some phrases, defending Trump. I tried to keep the post as unpolitical/vague as possible in order to prevent this. Please help and lock!

This just shows me how important it is to ditch american products. Even when it will be really hard. This concerted effort to drown my post in disinfo is scary. I will not bend to autocrat sockpuppets.

Edit 2: Useful subs shared here:

r/BuyFromEU

r/BoycottUnitedStates

Edit 3: The brigade pushed different arguments during the last days, in a concerted way and often with nearly identical wording. First many "totally not organized" posters focussed on DEI. Then on Trump not being a threat and how he'd threaten nobody. Too bad there are countless tweets, speeches and interviews in which he openly threatens Denmark and Canada. One wave of trolls tried to push the narrative that there is no boycott and that nothing we do would matter. Yet the boycott of american services and products is growing and gaining traction internationally. More and more news outlets report. Supermarkets mark european products. And US stock markets drop. Trolls also say that we can't boycott everything, so we could as well boycott nothing. Which makes no sense. Every bit helps. And every bit strengthens our own economy. Yesterday evening a wave tried the mental health attack/ad hominem/humiliation angle. I wonder what will be next. I am taking bets! Not saying all of them are paid russian shills. But at least one person used several accounts to push a concerted narrative. And there are weird patterns.

Edit4: The AfD trolls arrived! Their angle is immigration. Yeah. I know this has nothing to do with immigration. But apparently in their mind boycotting an international aggressor that threatens our allies and neighbours will make immigrants storm germany. Edit: Luckily the AfD trolls have no stamina and just insult and block me after being presented with facts.

Edit5: flashback to 2018: https://www.businessinsider.com/reddit-russian-trolls-ban-photos-examples-posts-2018-4?op=1

This is a real issue. Does someone honestly think they caught all or that they didn't simply come back after their ban? Trolls are out and about. Be watchful.