I feel bored with my life... Everything feels so empty, and my family keeps getting smaller and smaller. 🪦

When I was a child, I thought adult life was going to be amazing and exciting! But it didn't turn out that way...

I still live with my mother, who at this point has purchased multiple homes via working tons of overtime in a HCL area. I have yet to purchase a home. I racked up a bunch of cc debt being out of work while getting a second degree transitioning into a new career. Looking back, I’m spending most of my salary trying to pay off my debt from being out of work for two years. It’s around $27k. I feel I can’t move out until I’ve significantly paid off these cards. The rent in my city is out of control. I pay my mother rent, buy groceries, pay her phone bill, electric, pay for other miscellaneous things around the house, etc. I’m definitely doing all I can to not seem like a freeloader. My mother is also getting older and doesn’t want me to go. This is killing my dating life, can’t invite a guy over, I feel like such a loser.

Sure i can tell myself that i can still enjoy the little things, but when i think about my life's circumstances and see the real possibility of not having the basic things other people achieve in their lives, all i see is the cruelty of it all. I'm fairly certain I'm never going to find my person and get married and have children. That I'm going to be working minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life (however short it may be). I'm going to have to live with the fact that i have disappointed my parents. I don't know if it was the environment or was it all my fault but this situation is the reality of my life now. It's not like i didn't try! I just failed at everything.

And the AUDACITY TO REPRODUCE AND BRING AN INNOCENT CHILD INTO A APOCALYPTIC WORLD😑

Want to eat steak and mashed potatoes for breakfast? Go for it! Have dessert at 6 pm and dinner at 9? Do it! Drink a Dr. pepper at 7 am then snack all day? Nobody’s stopping you! I don’t even understand why these rules exist. As long as your body is getting what it needs, why does the “type” of food even matter?

Funny enough, my Gen X parents tend to still judge me for this, even though I’m in my 20’s. “You’re eating ___ for breakfast?!” “Are you sure you want to have a snack before dinner?” Yes I am, because I’m an adult and I don’t conform to your food guidelines! 😁

I'm so bored with life. Sometimes it feels like I lived what I had to and that's it. I'm 32. Got no friends, no social life. Nothing gets me excited no more. I'm not that talkative either. I just don't feel the desire of living like I used to. I was full of life, full of love. I never met anyone. Whatever love I used to feel for family, friends, or someone I liked is all gone. I wake up and think here we go again. I'm not suicidal, but I kind of wouldn't mind if something happened and that was it. I just don't see the point of life no more 😅

I’m 36 and still trying to figure out what to do long term. ... And need some reassurance it is possible. Who built a successful career after 35 from scratch? I’ve mostly worked in hospitality, with some sales experience, and I’m back in school now for accounting though I don't want to be an accountant, looking at different career paths.

I’d love to hear from people who changed direction in their mid-30s, 40s, or later.

What were you doing before? What did you switch into? Did you go back to school, get certified, or start from the bottom?

How long did it take to feel established and make decent money?

Are you able to retire? What would you do differently?

I'm either still young, comparing and thieving my joy, or washed up.

It would be interesting to hear your successes.

my parents get genuinely hurt if I skip a random Tuesday dinner or a cousin's birthday. I’m exhausted and on a budget. At what point does "family first" become toxic guilt-tripping?

What age when you told people your age or just based off looking at you did they stop calling you young.

Lol, I don’t know why I’m making this a post

I've gone on a journey the last couple of years to find myself. I broke up with a best friend and had to move back home and started a new career at the same time.

Fast forward two years and I've had a lot of time to "date" myself and find things that I like to do. I'll go to the movies alone, dinner, the gym, a hike, read a book, a museum, etc. and I love it! Every now and then I wish I had someone to share stuff with whether that be a friend or a partner but that hasn't worked out so well. After dating and having some new friendships I've learned I don't really like anyone as much as I do myself. 😅 I feel like that makes me sound like an ass but I've done a lot of work on myself and I know the things I like and I hate doing anything outside of what I want to do. Also I have hard no's of ways I don't act or say and after so many red flags being checked I just don't wanna try anymore lol

Anyway idk why I'm posting this other than to say I use to feel so left out that I didn't have friends or someone to text me to ask about my day or make plans with but now I don't even care. Anyone else gone through this or are going through it?

I’m a 52 year old married woman with a decent but stressful job. Parents that I’m close to. Close friends. No kids (which sometimes gets to me), normal middle class life. I’ve become infatuated with a guy I found on YouTube. I don’t sleep well and have anxiety and always scrolling for relaxing things (sound bowls and relaxing voices) this guy popped up and something made me click on him. He is an ASMRist. I liked his voice and thought he was cute. It’s was nothing at first to me because I’ve listened to other voices of men that I thought were cute and didn’t give it a second thought.

This guy was different though. Something about his face and smile and just seemed more intelligent than others. So funny also. I had a few dreams about which started the spiral. I sent him an email just complementing his work. Then the emails kept going but it would take him a week or 2 to respond each time. Nothing intimate at all. Just talking about music and movies, I told him about my life (nothing too personal). My emails were long and his replies were also but I can also tell a lot of it was him using ChatGPT and filling in some of his own words and interests. Adding in emoji smiley face and hearts. His following isn’t huge at all (although some videos have a lot of views) so I am pretty sure it’s him responding since his tone and words sometimes sound like how he talks in his videos but also a lot of help from ChatGPT or Gmail AI replies. I’m embarrassed to say I asked him to make a personal video for me (I wouldn’t have even thought about it but saw someone else ask in comments to one of his videos). He was happy to and I paid him….no it was not sexual. Just calming. And now I can’t even bring myself to watch it anymore. Don’t want to hear my name said.

At this point I can’t stop thinking about him and check for new videos, his replies to my comments and to other commenters constantly. I check my emails for his replies constantly. Also he is in his 30’s. I don’t usually find younger men attractive anymore.

Please no judgment. I guess I l’m trying to find a way to get over this. Just stopping it all together is probably the only way? I more interested in the psychological part of it. Why is this happening and why THIS guy? What is it about him. Maybe he reminds me of someone. Maybe I knew him in another life (not that I actually believe that but some do and I can’t rule out anything). I’ve been married for 18 years and my husband isn’t into me or really much of anything. It’s not a new thing so I don’t think that is what all of a sudden caused this when it isn’t like me. Maybe it’s perimenopause? I’m not an overly sexual person but I can’t stop thinking about this guy. He presents himself as ambiguous and said he is bi and single without actually saying it in his videos). He has many more men followers than women. I have no idea what his real personality is either. He has videos where he is supposed to be himself but it could still be him acting. I’ve had celeb crushes and crushes on people I knew in real life but nothing like this. I’ve been feeling more mentally and physically sick since this also. Been going on since August.
And I highly doubt he is really that interested in taking to me. He asks me questions but are they him or what ChatGPT is giving him. Is he thinking I’m pathetic but just engaging with me to keep me as a subscriber?

And finally, my friend who is a good detective bet me she could find his real identity. (To hopefully help me get over it). She did find him the other day. It’s crazy that’s she did. But he is married to a beautiful woman and they seem to have a perfect life. His whole vibe is different in his real life pics. Like kind of a nerdy. Online he is sexy, with over the top performances(some a bit suggestive) even when he says he’s being himself. And seems to be someone you would definitely wonder if he is was into men or women, or both. (Not saying him being married to a woman doesn’t mean he is not into both). But it was almost devastating to find this out.

My parents never taught me how to properly clean, I lived basically my entire childhood in a pig sty. It was literally disgusting. When I turned 18 I moved out and now I'm 20 and realized I don't know how to clean. Like obviously I know how to do laundry, sweep, mop, take out the trash, etc. But how do I deep clean? When do I use microfiber rags vs normal rags? What chemicals do I use and where? And how do you clean the sides of the tub and sink without getting tons of water everywhere?

I've tried youtube and tiktok and I can't really find any videos that go deep into depth on how to really clean. Every video I watch is all the same: pick up trash, sweep, mop, fold laundry, blah blah. Like yeah I know what order to clean things in but HOW?

I am aware this post will almost definitely get a lot of comments calling me incompetent, but please have some grace. I grew up in a very neglected home and I'm trying to improve little by little every day.

Hey everyone in my previous job I got fired for a very minor unintentional mistake despite being called a good performer by my boss and now I have started a new job as an intern and its been just a week and almost everyday some mistake is pointed out even tho I try my best to do things right and I am afraid that I will get fired from here too.