I’m a brand designer based in India, and I’m exploring branching my work towards the US & Canadian markets.

A lot of my current audience are either first-gen immigrants or still based in South Asia, but I know for many 2nd gen South Asians (and folks who’ve grown up with less direct contact to their motherland), the cultural connection is different and so are their expectations from “Desi” brands.

For those of you who are 2nd gen or grew up abroad, what do you wish more South Asian brands understood about you?

Could be about language, cultural symbols, design, packaging, even what “authentic” feels like to you.

I’d love to hear your experiences, I have stayed in US for a short duration before I moved back to India. But i really want to understand your unique perspective.

I’m taking notes, because I want to make sure what I create makes everyone feel welcome.

I'm a 33 year old, Indian-American guy. I questioned whether I am a narcissist or not, a few years ago. I started watching Professor Vaknin's channel. I realized there are many differences between my mind and a narcissist's mind.

One difference is, narcissists don't have affective empathy, but I do. Narcissists only have cognitive and reflexive empathy. I have cognitive, affective, and reflexive empathy. My cognitive empathy might be a little impaired.

Another difference is, narcissists need narcissistic supply. Their self worth is dependent on other people's attention and admiration. I don't like receiving too much attention from people. Occasionally, I don't mind hanging out with people.

Another difference is, narcissists create a snapshot of people in their mind. It is called an introject. They only interact with the introject in their mind. I don't create such a thing.

Narcissists love bomb people they date. I never love bomb any woman. I never idealize any woman. Narcissists also create a shared fantasy. I never do that.

Narcissists don't attend therapy on their own. I have been going to therapy once a month, for over a year. I will be taking a small break.

There is one narcissistic trait I have. It is grandiosity. I am also grandiose. I'm not able to tell what my flaws are. I don't see them as flaws. For example, I am thin but I don't think of it as a flaw.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Why do so many Indian people seem to have a problem confronting their IE heritage? I was reading about a paper on Sintashta-Andronovo ppl and their descendants in the Indian subcontinent and I was shocked to find that the paper actually went to the point of renaming the "European" component of Indian ancestry to "steppe" (which is purposefully vague).

You can't even cope that Yamnaya were brown or were EHG-CHG hybrids with little to no EEF because the Indo-Europeans who invaded India came from Corded Ware individuals with a similar genetic composition to modern central-northeastern eastern euros and substantial EEF admixture. And lighter pigmentation was selected for throughout the bronze age anyway, so identifying with 5000 BC WSHs because they were more brown-eyed than modern Northern Europeans screams insecurity.

Even more embarrassingly, academia and schools in India itself seem to hang on to the desperate idea that the IE languages and paternal lineages actually originated from India, and that the Khyber Pass had a forcefield preventing anyone from enterring until Alexander the Great. However in reality said "steppe" individuals ended the entire Elamo-Dravidian Brahui IVC cope civilisation so hard that they couldn't even rebuild plumbing until Anglo-Saxons (Who are closer to Corded Ware and the founders of India than any living human on your subcontinent, LMAO) came to fix them for you. Even the most steppe-admixed Jats in Punjab are only like 20% steppe max. The rest is neolithic Iranian Zagrosians (whose Turco-Persian Islamic descendants also buckbroke you for a thousand years before Robert Clive) and AASI hunter-gatherers who are related to Andamanese.

How will India solve its identity crisis when the people who have buckbroken their fellaheen culture for the past 1000 years since Delhi Sultanate have been closer in DNA to the founders of their entire culture and religion than they themselves are?

So I am 23 and have never had a girlfriend. I have had a few flings here and there on and off again relationships but nothing that would be considered an actual relationship. Slowly, my mom is starting to bring the prospect of marriage to me even though I am still in school but graduating in a year. I am a pretty fit guy go to the gym 2 to 3 times a week but I'm not bodybuilder material nor do I have any interest in such nonsense. Most of my in person interaction with the opposite gender tends to be with White women. All of my white friends have girlfriends from high school and they are still together! Matter of fact, I ended up leaving high school in junior year and going straight to community college because I could not handle the relationship drama in high school.

Desi guys, Does anyone here think it is abnormal to not have a girlfriend by the time you're 23 or in your mid 20's? I often feel like that I am falling behind and I might end up choosing to be gay or one of those violent racist incels we hear about these days or even worse, being forced into an arranged marriage overseas!

I feel left out and left behind and alone and desperate. I sometimes feel like I am the only person in the world going through this.

Got intimate with my Boss?

Would I need to be worried? Not quite sure what transgressed between us that night?

Was it my statement "You shouldn't judge me"? Could he come back again?

Not quite sure if I should or should not take it forward?

If you're looking for someone for relationship/marital stress, emotional overwhelm and anxiety, I would suggest looking beyond just the therapist's listed specialization and checking whether their approach feels right for you.

A good therapeutic fit matters quite a lot, especially if you're looking for longer-term work.

I'm a psychologist/mental-health practitioner and work with adults around anxiety, stress, relationships, emotional difficulties and life transitions. I also work with people from different cultural backgrounds. If you'd like, you can look at my professional profile and decide whether my approach and experience seem appropriate for what you're looking for.

— Dr. Shivika Dutt

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Growing up in the States, I had no idea about Indian politics and could not care.

I come from a Nepalese family. I initially grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood. There were only 5 brown kids at school.

In the 11th grade, we had to move across the country and my new schools had a larger Indian community. I noticed a bunch of them were members of the Republican club at school and were right leaning. I found it a bit odd for people living in a democratic state and city to lean right.

I learned much later (during grad school), that India has a far right movement and this ideology is popular among some people who have been living in the US as well.

Can someone tell me more about these views and if it’s almost always true that republican voting Indians also align with right wing politics in India?

I am an Indian American male with autism who is currently struggling with life in general. Did I do anything wrong here?

That is the lamest bullshit sellout shit I see on a constant basis Indians are a bunch of pussies and I ain’t changing my name for no one if u can’t pronounce it cause your white then fucking learn

Hey everyone, there is a Malayalam movie called great Indian kitchen which shows the nitty gritty of desi society, it’s available in Neestream for 2 dollars with English subtitles . There are no heroes or heroines in this movie. I am pretty much moved by the movie, I recommend everyone to watch it. great Indian kitchen

I love my mom so much that I’m not gonna be fake and pretend I’m cool with her behavior towards me like I always used to do. Pretense is for losers. Fuck Father’s Day too. Fuck enablement. Fuck covering them from real folks who can hold them accountable. Fuck sincere expressions of pain and love gone unaddressed and unappreciated. Fuck all the people who left me including my own family. I love me but also. Ride or die, bitch.

I am a 33 year old, Indian American guy. There was a post here about Desis being toxic. I think there are toxic Desis, but not too many. In my family, there aren't too many.

What are toxic people? They are people who don't respect our boundaries. My parents were physically abusive but I don't think they were toxic. Maybe my mom was toxic. I guess toxic is subjective.

Physical abuse is definitely wrong. I don't think parents should be using that for discipline. Indian parents have to use better techniques.

I don't think my parents were toxic because they allowed me to do whatever I wanted, most of the time. My father said I can choose any career I want.

My uncle in-law was toxic because he didn't respect my autonomy. I don't know what he wanted from me. He didn't seem to want anything tangible. I guess he just thought it was funny to dictate my choices.

I've met some non-Desis who are toxic. One coworker in 2018, asked me if I ever had a girlfriend before. She shouldn't have asked me such a question because I wasn't her friend.

Hey everyone,

I need some perspective on a situation that's been weighing heavily on me. I'm a 29-year-old Indian female, married, and living in Calgary, Canada. My husband and I recently bought a house and have been working hard to make ends meet while saving up for our future goals and dreams, like traveling.

A bit of backstory: My parents live in India, and I have a brother who moved to Calgary two months ago. Initially, he stayed with us, but we asked him to move out once he got a job. This was because he's an alcoholic and didn't respect our rules, creating a lot of tension in our home. We had to set boundaries for our own well-being.

My brother has actually been in Canada for 7 years and hasn't saved a penny, whereas I managed to get my PR, get married, and buy a house with my husband. Now, my mom is furious with me for making him move out. She's terrified that he'll drink himself to death living on his own. Recently, she decided she wants to come to Canada immediately to be with my brother, but she expects me to pay for the airfare, which amounts to around $5000. I told her no, explaining that we need to save that money as our rainy-day fund.

In response, my parents got extremely mad at me. They accused me of never making them proud and said I should be more like other kids who bring their parents to Canada right away. Growing up, I was never treated equally compared to my brother, and their unrealistic expectations have always been a burden on me.

I offered to let them live with us and assured them they wouldn't have to worry about Canadian living expenses, but I asked them to cover their own airfare. This has led to them not speaking to me and guilt-tripping me heavily. They also mentioned that they're ready to spend money on my brother's LMIA (Labour Market Impact Assessment) but not on their tickets.

My husband supports my decision and doesn't want me to give them money, especially since they were never transparent about their finances with me.

Am I a bad child for refusing to pay for their tickets? How should I tackle this situation?

TL;DR: My parents want to come to Canada to be with my alcoholic brother, but expect me to pay for their airfare. I refused, offering to let them stay with us if they cover their own tickets, but now they're not speaking to me and accusing me of being a bad daughter. My brother has been in Canada for 7 years and hasn't saved a penny, while I got my PR, got married, and bought a house with my husband.

I am a 34 year old, Indian American man. I went to therapy in 2023 for over a year. My first therapist asked me, "Do you lash out at other people?" I said no. The question was after I told her about my uncle in-law. He was more emotionally abusive than other family members, but I wasn't his victim.

After thinking about the past, I realized I was never a victim. I mean there isn't anything people can say, that can lower my self-esteem. If I was more emotionally vulnerable, that would be possible.

I don't think most of my family's advice was manipulation. If people give bad advice it's not manipulation. If the bad advice is intentional, it is manipulation. I'm am aware when someone gives me bad advice intentionally.

Edit: I am only physically vulnerable. Most people can beat me up.

I am a 33 year old, Indian-American guy. I thought about how much I hate toxic people. My uncle in-law was a very toxic person. He died in 2021 from cancer and covid. I was glad to know he died.

I think most elders are good people. Some of them are very toxic. That makes them unlovable. I'm shocked that my aunt was able to love her husband. She must be a saint.

I realized he was toxic because he always gave me advice that was not beneficial for me. That is basically the same as lying. If someone loves you, they will give advice with good intentions. The advice might not always be right. No one can know what is best for you, except yourself.

Good people will not manipulate you on purpose. It's easy to tell if someone is trying to manipulate you. Manipulation is for taking something from you. Sometimes they want to take something tangible like money. Sometimes they just want power from you.

In my uncle in-law's case, it was power. He didn't want to take anything tangible from me. He tried to humiliate me in front of other relatives because he thought I was inferior to him. He probably thought I was going to lash out at him. It was emotional manipulation. I didn't feel humiliated because I knew what he was doing.

I'm glad I didn't have to live with him. I don't know what I would've done. Maybe I would've given him a black eye. I only saw him once a year when he was alive. That was only during family parties.

I prefer to stay away from toxic people. I'm not scared of them. They amplify my anger quite a bit. Luckily, most people are not toxic.

Hello! Indian based therapist here. I'm trying to increase my visibility and thought why not try reddit as well.

For anyone considering or looking for therapist-

I have about 2 years of experience working with adolescents and young adults. I take sessions with individuals aged 13 and above.

I take sessions online on Google Meet. I use an eclectic approach.

My charges for sessions - 1100 INR For NRI - 1600 INR For student - 650 INR

If anyone is considering, you can dm me for the intake form (for free pre consultation call to get your queries answered), to check my credentials or for any more details you would like to ask.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

I'm not sure if I externalize everything or internalize it. I don't know if I get a "narcissistic injury" when people give me advice. Narcissistic injury is when a narcissist feels insulted after someone challenges their grandiosity. When I was younger, I used to react aggressively with my dad.

Professor Vaknin has said many times that narcissists have an external locus of control. I don't know whether mine is external or internal. My self esteem doesn't get affected when someone criticizes me. If the criticism is destructive, I get pissed off.

I was shadowbanned from the narcissism sub. Maybe they thought I was trolling. My comments seem to be posting, but they don't appear there.