r/shittyadvice • • Apr 13 '12

Protip: if you're drowning, just play dead. The water will think you're a corpse and make you float.

1.6k Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Nov 06 '12

Still an undecided voter? head over to /r/politics for a fair and unbiased analysis of each candidate.

1.4k Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Apr 10 '13

If you're ever cold, just stand in a corner! Most corners are 90 degrees!

1.3k Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • May 02 '12

I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I'm about to get intimate with a girl. Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

1.2k Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Jun 10 '13

My hard drive just exploded. Can I call NSA to get a copy?

1.1k Upvotes

Someone stole my laptop and downloaded a bunch of dirty pictures, and then set in on fire in a pile of crusty socks out of guilt, I can only guess.


r/shittyadvice • • Nov 12 '12

My wife and I have decided to have an abortion. How do we break this news to the surrogate?

1.0k Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Apr 22 '13

Whatisthelongbuttonatthebottomofthekeyboardfor?

950 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Jun 19 '12

If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour boiling water down their throat and the ice will melt, instantly getting rid of the blockage!

909 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Aug 24 '12

I have a black, gay co-worker. Should I treat him like a black person or like a gay person?

901 Upvotes

I'm really confused.


r/shittyadvice • • Oct 29 '12

Hi everyone, I'm Sandy! I'm travelling the east coast over the next few days. Anything I should do or see?

795 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Mar 09 '16

TIL Americans are buying 600% more pre-shredded cheese than they used to. How can we make America grate again?

772 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Aug 13 '12

The lotion says to apply liberally, but I'm registered as a Republican. What do I do?

759 Upvotes

And how can I blame Obama for it?


r/shittyadvice • • Mar 02 '24

My GF is sleeping with a coworker. She doesn't know I'm aware and every time I send him a zelle request for $100 which he pays cause he thinks I'm just pimping her to him. Should I tell her?

743 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Nov 22 '25

What's something you didn't realize was optional in life until you saw someone simply not doing it?

742 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Sep 28 '12

Trying to quit fapping? Simple. Whenever you get the urge to fap, simply go outside and smoke a cigarette.

734 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Dec 07 '12

Reddit, I am a doctor. For each 5 upvotes this post gets, I'll save a little girl's life.

696 Upvotes

Additional details:

No, I'm not licensed. Why would you even think that?

I will be killing off all the ones I can't save.

I lost my car keys today, but I found them at the bottom of my backpack.

Edit: By suggestion of Nat34, it is now 50 upvotes per girl. The two girls that I had saved before this point have been unsaved and will be resaved at 50 and 100 upvotes.


r/shittyadvice • • Jun 04 '13

CAN SOMEONE HELP ME? WHY IS EVERYTHING I TYPE APPEARING IN CAPITAL LETTErs nevermind i figured it out

692 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Aug 16 '12

My girlfriend is complaining that I don't send her flowers or candy. Reddit, what is the best way to tell her that I don't even send that stuff to my wife?

686 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Jan 17 '12

I'm captain of a cruise ship and I'm totally sick of the same old route. Should I chart a new course?

668 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Nov 27 '13

If you need to boil water, but you don't have a stove, put the water in a circle. Circles are 360 degrees, which is well above the boiling point of water.

662 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Sep 11 '12

My 5'th reddit birthday is being overlooked because of the date. How can I make people finally forget 9/11 and pay attention to my reddit birthday, instead.

618 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Nov 14 '25

Apparently, the US is no longer creating pennies. How do I take advantage of the inevitable demand this will cause soon?

597 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Oct 10 '12

shit shit shit. I accidentally had a $20 bill in my pocket before it went into the wash. I'm really scared I'm going to get in trouble for money laundering. WHAT DO I DO?

578 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Oct 30 '12

I think my dad might be gay... How do I break the news to my other dad?

570 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice • • Oct 11 '12

Watch heaps of porn before an job interview and walk in with a huge erection so that way they know you are excited about the job.

569 Upvotes