This will probably be deleted soon, but WOAAAAAH Am I high. This stuff is great. Legalize it. Uptoke me to karma heaven!! If you agree. UPTOKE! “He can’t be high” they say “his grammar is too good, he’s sober!”. Fools. I am amazing at English even in this state.

I won't get too preachy.

But I will try to be that angel and demon on your shoulder for a moment.

I'm a HUGE advocate for flower and the known and potential benefits to one's mental, physical and even spiritual health.

Please just remember balance. I think as we spend more time away from loved ones and society, turning to Bud to make the dark times better is an excellent choice. That being, said consider if it's also possible to address why the times might be dark, and always respect your health first.

I'm done. I don't care if this is downvoted, removed, or never picks up traffic, but if I can just remind one person to keep balance for all the aspects of their life.. I'm good.

Keep smoking brothers and sisters.

EDIT: Im taking a break on Reddit and Smoking to find that same balance I preached on. I'm gonna miss the discussions that might happen, and I apologize for anyone I don't respond to.

See you guys in a week!!!! Stay lit.

Although the "how long will i smell?" posts have died down, ive came across this information from Quora, hopefully its helpful for some.

|

Windy Day — Outside

5 minutes — you could stink up an entire room.

10 minutes — the smell is easily noticeable to the more sensitive noses.

15 minutes — the smell is easily noticeable to the most sensitive noses

20 minutes — the smell is easily noticeable when you aggressively smell someone, or come close to them (about a fingers length), or when engaging in kissing etc.

30 minutes — the smell is very light, and one could easily mistake it for smelly socks or armpits or dirty clothes.

40 minutes — the smell is completely off.

|

Windless day — Outside

5 minutes — you can easily stink up the whole room.

10 minutes — you can easily stink up the whole room.

15 minutes — you can easily stink up the whole room.

20 minutes — the smell is easily noticeable to the more sensitive noses.

30 minutes — the smell is easily noticeable to the most sensitive noses.

40 minutes — the smell is easily noticeable when you aggressively smell someone or engage in kissing etc.

50 minutes — the smell is very light, and one could easily mistake it for smelly socks or dirty armpits or dirty clothing etc.

1 hour — the smell is completely off.

Title. I know this is a sub for people new to weed and I know there are exceptions to what I said above.

If you're in college or established in life, maybe you are coming here for advice on telling your family about it. MAYBE.

Most likely, if you're coming to reddit for advice on telling your family about your weed smoking, you are simply too young to be smoking weed and you should wait until you're older.

I just saw a post where OP found a crusty ass lil dirt nugget that MIGHT be hash in a "crumpled baggie outside [their] apartment".

The only advice?

Smoosh it up and toke it!

Guys.

GUYS.

That sort of thing is just stupid, and that sort of "advice" can seriously hurt a person if what they're presenting ends up being something else entirely.

Be smarter about what you put into your bodies. Don't pick shit up off the ground and smoke it.

It's literally just common sense

Hey kid, you know where to find weeeeeed?

It's the struggle of every new smoker: how do I find weed without jumping through a bunch of sketchy hoops? While I can't just tell you where to go or who to call (for obvious reasons), this guide will be aiming to help people find weed, contact, bargain, and interact with a dealer, though these skills can also be applied to find any drug. This is coming from a guy who's been smoking the great green since 13, and was a dealer from 14 to 18 all over the Southern US (mostly Texas, shoutout to /r/TexEnts)

How to Find a Hookup

Networking: It's all about networking. Asking acquaintances if they know where to find weed (try other words like "green", too) is usually the most effective way to find a consistent connection, ESPECIALLY if you work in the food industry, where almost everyone smokes. Even if you have one possible hookup in the making, continue to network and ask around as dealers often fall through with new customers. Be confident, ask for numbers. You can start the topic of weed by asking if they've ever tried it. If you ask them directly and bluntly, they're more likely to answer honestly. Don't be afraid to apply some pressure, but don't make people super uncomfortable. DO NOT: buy in an open public place, ask online for hookups, or front the money (you give x friend money to pick up weed, you get it later) if you can avoid it at all.

"Ask Around": Look around in a public place, usually scenes like a (dive) bar, skate park, a fast food restaurant, outside a convenience store, or smoke shops are good places to start, you can usually start by asking the staff. You can always try the classic "Order some pizza, ask for hookup and offer a good tip" if you're desperate or in unfamiliar territory. You would be surprised how often these methods work, you just have to ask.

Craigslist/Other Online Services: I would highly recommend AVOIDING these methods at all costs. Although it is quite unlikely and a huge waste of time and resources, Law Enforcement can easily set up quick transactions to bust solicitors, and many of them will rip you off (or try to).

Darknet: I know this isn't titled "How to find weed on the darknet", but this is a viable option if you're technically capable (though don't let that intimidate you, it's not very hard). I won't go into detail on this post, but do check out /r/DarkNetMarketsNoobs and their start guide.

I Have a Phone Number, Now What? from /u/Foothpick

The first and, in my opinion, most important rule is: Your guy has a life, and texting/calling him a dozen times after he doesn't respond to the first is a quick ticket to not having a dealer at all.

Be consistent and know the amount you consume between pickups. Establishing an amount that you buy regularly helps your dealer prepare better for your next purchase and makes them more consistent for you as well.

Be reasonably discreet! Every dealer is different with how discreet they are. I personally always enjoyed it when people asked "hey, do you want to hang out for a little bit?". Obviously some guys are okay with you simply asking if they're good, but I would say follow your guy's lead.

Always have cash ready (unless different trade is agreed upon in advance), and avoid asking for "fronts".

For those ignorant, a front is when your dealer gives you weed after you've promised to pay him back. Now, you may have built up a decent relationship with your guy, and if you both trust each other enough you can try to ask, but in my experience it just saves both parties from potentially awkward/sticky situations.

Prices, Amounts, and Quality

A few things to be aware of: In case you weren't aware already, weed is usually measured in grams, ounces, and pounds. Most people won't see past an ounce or two, and most will not buy more than an ounce at a time. Though do note that, as a general rule, the more you buy at one time, the happier your dealer will be, you take less risk (to a certain point), and the price per-gram drops significantly.

Guide to Amounts

Guide to Quality linked in the above guide.

My personal price guide to quality/quantity is below. Note that this varies per state, but this is the average price in my experience in the Southern US.

• Schwag/Reggie: $5/g, $15/8th, $30/7g, $50/14g, $80/28g

• Mids: $10/g, $35/8th, $70/7g, $120/14g, $240/28g

• Dank: $15/g, $50/8th, $90/7g, $160/14g, $300/28g

Though do note that I have picked up $220 ounces of dank and $260 ounces of mids in the same city within the same year, so it always varies quite a bit.

My Weed is Expensive

If you're new and the dealer knows it, there's a good chance that they are overcharging you. If you know anyone else that uses the same dealer who is comfortable talking about it, ask them how much they pay. Also don't forget that dealers are, literally dealers. Don't be afraid to bargain with them and make offers for cheaper weed. They may tell you no for a few days, but about half the time they budge and at least compromise. Keep in mind that the dealer is also a person. They can be talked to, you can get along with them and you don't need to maintain a strictly business relationship. Befriending dealers is the best as you get a new friend and awesome deals on real dank! As always, be on the lookout for new dealers.

Picking up/Drop Off Procedures

Remember, dealers are only as threatening and intimidating as you make them out to be (save the obviously violent ones, who you should not do business with). Don't be super paranoid when it happens. Have your money pre-counted and pre-bundled, and have any containers for your weed ready (open mason jars, etc). There are a few styles of transactions that can happen, so I'll list some common ones here and briefly explain them:

• Parking Lot Fun: You agree upon a meeting place, usually a parking lot or parking garage, and you should get there early. Being late is a good way to either spook a dealer or piss them off. Once they're there, message them and let them know, also describe your car. Once they pull up next to you (or you find them and pull up to them), the dealer should make the first move. Typically, the dealer will get into a seat in your car, but sometimes they will motion you to their car. Don't do this if you don't feel confident about it. As with any transaction, the dealer should show you the weed first, you hand the money over, and you get the weed. Wait for dealer to get out and orientate themselves then both leave.

• House Call: Deliveries are usually reserved for buddies or people buying in large amounts. I find that most dealers will deliver 7g or more if you're nearby enough. This type of transaction varies wildly depending on your living arrangements, so use discretion. Some ways I've seen it done (if you trust your dealer already) is you designate a "drop spot" to leave the money, and the dealer leaves you weed. Easy AF. Make sure to give your dealer good details/instructions on finding the spot. I can personally vouch that it is awkward as hell digging around some guy's front porch looking for money with your car running in front of the house.

• In-Store Pickup: If the dealer trusts you, and you trust the dealer, they will give you their address to pick up from when agreed upon in advance. Just message them when you're out front and wait for the OK.

• Park Drop: I would not recommend this one at all, but it's unfortunately quite common. The dealer tells you where to be and at what time, they look around for you, you make eye contact and nod or make some small but distinct signal and walk up to them. You peek in their pocket/lap, "handshake" the money over, and they will "handshake" the baggie back. This doesn't work so well with larger amounts.

Does this look like [x]g?

The weight of weed is not determinable from a picture alone. We can estimate, sure, but weed density varies heavily and what is 2g in my stash can look like 1g from your stash. Invest in a $10 Scale from Amazon, or similar. If you cannot get ahold of one, you can try to make a balance scale using the knowledge that any US bill will weigh exactly 1 gram.

Err, that's not right...

"I think I just got shorted. My guy said it was 7g, but it weighed out to be 5g!"

This is a common situation for new smokers. Many dealers will try to short new customers to see if they will get away with it. The best way to defeat this behavior is to be direct and tell the dealer that it only weighed in at [x] grams instead of [y]. You can be more "discreet" if you want by saying "make sure to weigh it more carefully this time" next time you order, but as a (former) 24/7 dealer I can tell you that it's much better for both of us if you just come out and say it. Many times, the dealer will not refund you or make up the difference in weed. Consider this a "first time" fee, but if it happens again and/or consistently, you need to either pressure them about it or start finding another dealer. Complain with your wallet. HOWEVER, do not expect every baggie to weigh the precise amount to the dot. A tolerance of ± 0.2g is to be expected.

Man, This Weed Sucks/Is This Real?

Please take note of this: DO NOT BUY PRE-GROUND WEED. Buy the weed in nugs only, and do not buy from a dealer again if they're known to have synthetics. Typically, the biggest tell to whether some herb is synthetics is the smell. Synthetics tend to smell like a lake or sometimes like bleach or other cleaning chemicals. That, and ground up weed has a pretty distinct look, plus or minus some white texture on the top that are the trichomes (which attribute to potency, more is better).

As for low quality, all you can really do is ask the dealer if they have anything better or "danker" or finding a new dealer. Can't do much if the dealer doesn't control it.

Also, while the weed might not be laced with other drugs, some terrible dealers add sprays and/or water to your bag to make it weigh more without giving up more green. If it is wet when you picked it up then you've basically been ripped off because of the difference and weight, and the very realistic possibility of mold.

This Stuff's Laced. I Saw Things...

I've never in my many years found any weed sold in nugs to be mixed with anything unless you specifically requested that and paid extra for it. No dealer will drop in more free drugs just to fuck with people, drugs are expensive! Many new smokers simply get wayyy to high. Take it slow. Take one hit every 10/15 minutes and see how you feel.

I'm Worried About the Law.

As you should be. Drug possession charges are no small matter in many states, and can have a huge impact on your future applications for schools and jobs. There are a few tricks to not getting caught that I've picked up over the years.

• Break One Law at a Time: Pretty self-explanatory. If you have weed in the car, go the limit or under.

• Do not smell like weed while in public: You probably won't ever have a problem running into police with weed, but if you do the last thing you want is to smell suspicious, especially in a car. In most states, the smell alone is enough reason for probable cause, and the officer can then search your car. No Bueno. I would invest in some Mason Jars as they are practically smell-proof.

• Don't act stupid: If you're looking around at your high friends or thinking about what you're doing and the idea that you might look like you're on drugs pops into your head, you might want to make sure you're in a safe place in private. Don't be afraid to act silly or anything less than serious, but don't act a fool.

• Know Your Rights: It's pretty long for YouTube, but I would recommend watching this, this, and this

Now Give Back

Criticism, advice, additions, and any extra questions are welcome and encouraged. If I find a very good question I'll add the info onto the main post.

Shoutout to /u/OldHippie and /u/bicycle to tack on any more useful info!