Leading up to the sarge…
I spoke with lots of people all day; presented our service to groups of people, that my social lube was at a 10/10. Lol
Watched a show with some friends, laughed, had fun and felt good before going out.
Decided to go out for the first time “alone." I’d added a girl from Tinder on FB and asked if she wanted to go out that night, she said she was super down and she was gonna rally with her guy-friends. Game on!
Venue: Soap
I arrive at the venue alone, and sober - I will possibly go for even longer than a month sober, my game has gotten really good without the alcohol as a crutch. Girls love it and I feel great.
The first thing I do was go to the outside bar, out of habit, because I see a girl there working and figured I’d warm up by speaking with her. I just ordered a club soda and said I was going sober all month, she didn’t really say anything back lol - probably because I was self-qualifying subconsciously. Ah well.
I stayed outside by the bar, I saw two girls and a guy at the corner of the bar, mid-20s, and two girls who were talking to the left and two other girls sitting smoking to the right. In hindsight I should’ve immediately approached any of these 3 sets, preferably the mixed set for max growth, but was kind of in pussy-mode so didn’t do it. Learning Lesson: Have to be more spontaneous and use the 5-second rule and just go. It was 11:30pm and my tinder-stranger friend said she was inside so I went in and set a place for us to meet.
When I went inside to give my jacket to the closet person I spoke with a super attractive blonde, asked her how much it cost to turn in a coat, just to start a convo. It didn’t lead to anything, she left soon with her friend because they were both done. So far the approaches had been pretty lame but I powered on.
I chit-chatted, threw out small comments here and there with all the people in the club I could use a situational “opener” on - like two cute girls standing by the rush of people going in and out, I said something like “you guys definitely are in the best spot in this club. Last time I was here I was by the two kitchen-doors over there, it’s even better” sarcasm to small laughs etc. Just to wire my mind to the fact that I speak with everyone in this place.
My tinder-friend arrived and I realised from her FB picture where she looked like an 8.5, she was more of a slightly chunky 7.0 and was a little disappointed honestly. But oh well, she had a positive vibe, we hugged and she introduced me to all her friends.
I shook hands with 8 different people, 4 girls and 4 guys, all from Latin America standing and half-dancing to themselves - they were on the dance floor by the wall.
After a little bit of casual dancing, one of the guys standing surrounded by the 4 girls left his spot, making a stark divide between the guys and girls in the dance circle. After a few minutes I felt the opportunity and used what I’ve invented as “The Pawn” - I just walked over to set my drink down on their table and then continued dancing. It could’ve gone down smoother though because right afterwards they all started saying like “ooooohh” and laughing a little, so they spotted it haha. It didn’t matter, I could now comfortably talk with these girls and physically escalate if I wanted to.
We made chit-chat and I made them laugh here and there, but didn’t really do digs at them or have them seek validation, so they didn’t ask me questions, continue the conversation or show IOI's. Oh well, they weren’t super hot anyway and not ideal targets due to my tinder-ambiguous-friend lol. But I actually enjoy dancing so was doing just fine doing me haha. Learning Lesson: throw more digs and polarising statements out there, I love you I hate you shit, push pulls, anything. I was being too fucking sterile.
Then the target of the night and I made eye-contact, a really hot 9 blonde kind of short girl, she and I saw each other and I’d catch her looking at me from time to time.
I kept dancing and smiling and eventually she found herself next to me! She’d traveled with her 2 friends about 8 meters on the dance floor to where my circle was, and was right next to me all of a sudden. This is what my main man Mystery calls "Proximity Alert" and I opened after a few seconds by saying that it’s good that they got out of the chaos of the dance floor (shit was getting cray out there) and they were vibing hard with me. Lots of laughs and such.
We danced for a good half hour and talked intermittently, I’d go back and forth between my group and theirs to keep the balance.
I saw this girl I used to have sex with by the tables and walked up to her real quick, hugged, and chatted for a few. This gave me even more social validation with my 2 circles, remember: I knew not a single person before going out, only lukewarm a tinder girl I’d only chatted with haha. I came back to the group and we all danced, I got to know the guys and girls of the Latin American crew as much as I could on the dance floor, all were having a good time - great music was being played.
Then I made the crucial mistake I’ve now made twice since clubbing, and it’s my kindness, compassion or whatever. I told the 3 hot girls I’d opened and gamed that they should hang off their coats so they could be more comfortable. I’d done this before with 2 girls I was dancing with 2 weeks ago and never saw them again. To try to ensure they'd come back I told them I’d be here when they came back, but its fucked because it sounds needy, and sure enough they did come back but kind of far away and kind of later, like 30min. So our “little bubble” was definitely weakened. Though I’d danced with the 9-blonde and she was giving me a lot of IOI’s earlier, now when I re-approached them when they came back, the fact that I lacked proper wings was apparent; there were 4 of them and 1 of me; and I just couldn’t isolate the 9 without it being pushy/needy. So after dancing with them with virtually 0 interest shown from their part I went back to my circle. Learning Lesson: stick it out longer, re-engage, tell stories, keep them focused on me, pump state, and then I could’ve said something like “birthday girl, let me buy you a drink of your choice for your birthday” it was my targets birthday, and I only thought of this when I was going to bed that very night lol.
Then I went back and danced a lot with my tinder-girl, who was probably a little impressed with my social graces, because we started hooking up pretty soon into the song, and it was good kissing. My mind was still on the 9-blonde though and I thought I was settling with this 7.0 girl so I was kind of 80% into it with this tinder girl.
Ah well, I kept dancing and she eventually started getting a little flaky on the dance floor, disappearing a lot and such. I swear girls can smell what you subconsciously think, they can tune into this shit. Cuz my mind was deffo on the prize (hot 9-blond), not my tinder girl. But I started getting to game:y in my head too - it’s always best to just let lose, be social, approach more, and see where I can make opportunities happen. Learning lesson: think who gives a fuck more often and laugh, enjoy being out! That’s why I’m there!
I did a few more approached: this one cute brunette was holding a bottle of beer and with my fist I pretended like I was going to bump her beer from above so it would be bubbly, she laughed at the audacity and we started laughing/talking/dancing. She was with a guy and a girl though and the other two eventually ousted me from the set somewhat. Learning Lesson: its key to open in creative ways. I need more social wingmen were the most noticeable missing part of this night. Because I was solo I didn’t have the counter balance with my targets friends from my own homies.
Another approach was two girls who were cute and one seemed really “horny” hard to explain, her buying temperature just seemed really high, the way she was vibing. I could’ve been evil then because she was dancing with my new Latin American friend and I told him to charge it and be more aggressive - he didn’t. No guys I was with were really aggressive - maybe I’m just the one brainwashed by RSD-boss-like-mindsets but I swear I was one of 1% of people who would branch out from my circle to socialise with those around me.
Anyway, at 2:30 I was getting tired and my responses from ambiguous dance-floor approaches didn’t captivate me enough.
I decided to call it a night and was content with the fact that I’d gone out, regardless.
Conclusion of the sarge: Number of actual sets opened: 8
Number of sets I could’ve opened but didn’t: 5 clear ones, definitely more if I walked around the club more.
Largest set: 4
Longest interaction: 45min
Time: 11:30pm - 2:30am, 3 hours - I did more than 2 approaches per hour. Really lame results still honestly, I should be more of an uzi out there, approach more! And commit to the approaches.
Learning lessons: I should have approached way more sets, and full-on approached in more assertive ways, not just the mere easy-comments. Leave the dance-floor, I should’ve branched out more and walked the bar, approached people outside, etc. I stayed in one spot for literally 3 hours lol.I could have approached outside early on but was too big of a pussy and outcome dependent. I shouldn’t have told the hotties I was with to go hang up their coats, fucking learned from this time around (I hope lol).I should have stayed with one target and tried to isolate.I should have found a solid virtual-wing while out, the more social dudes.Don’t be too game-oriented while out, paradoxically. The more I thought about game the worse shit got.
Things I did well: I went out solo and befriended/owned the whole club, not a lot of people have the balls for that type of shit. Really proud of how far I’ve come and the commitment I’m showing. I didn’t drink a single drop of alcohol. I successfully detected a proximity alert and opened really well, they were my longest set, and super hot potential girl could’ve been in my arms the next morning. I like that thought ;-)I danced and had fun, hooked up with the tinder girl I was with, so pleased that every week I’ve gone out lately I’ve at the very least hooked up with one girl once per week.
Things to remember: Approach more completely and in higher volume. Walk the venue to approach more with situational openers! Go out more often so I rewire my brain that I allow myself to give myself permission to open!
