fly high, my baby renji. you're stronger, braver, and fiercer than me. you tried to overcome and fought your way to life when i’m struggling and wanting to end it myself. you’re my baby and will always will be. you inspired me. you gave me hope even if we’re together for a short time.

2 months is a short time, and it wasn’t enough. i haven’t taken more pictures, videos, and more memories with you. i have so many regrets and i’m blaming myself for not having to spend more time with you.

i hope you know how much i love you, and i hope it shows through my actions. i miss you already, my renji. i love you.

i’m sorry i had to delete my previous post, because i accidentally added a photo with my full information. i'm still devastated and added the photos accidentally.

i wanted to draw something in honor of our sweet baby renji. i don't have the words really to say how i feel about all of this, i cried so many times while drawing this. really loved that little guy and im so happy he got to be here and enter all of our lives for as long as he did. i ran a 10k the day after his passing and was thinking of him and took a photo of the sky in remembrance of him <3 fly high renji!

renji with a sweater made from an old sock. he isn’t fond of it but i like it on him. 😆

we visited the vet today and checked on renji. the vet said he’s doing well with his medication. they explained that he’s bloated/gassy because of being bottle fed and was told that it’s totally normal but comes to a point where renji became uncomfy with it.

his shivering was caused by the viruses he had. (they did not specify which) but renji’s been responding when we call his name. he’s purring when i held him in my arms. he even started playing with my hands/fingers like he used to. playbiting it and playing with it.

he still has to be monitored and they will check if renji can be discharged tomorrow. if not, he still has to stay in there. after a week they suggested that he should be vaccinated with 4n1.

we brought the pink pillowcase instead of my clothes because renji sleeps in there most of the time. when i placed him there, he actually stopped shivering and slept immediately. he probably thought he’s home now. 🥹

they are assisting feeding renji with milk. they will then try to feed him some food tomorrow if he can, once his gassy tummy has been okay.

we’ll also consider getting a second opinion regarding the viruses they saw on renji but that'll be once renji’s strong enough.

thank you so much for supporting renji and i. i’ll try to update/reply more once my sister and i settled on our hotel nearby. thank you so much! 💗

love, renji’s mom, diane.

i plan to update you guys like i did yesterday— 2 updates in one post but look at my baby! ready to go out and leave the vet. (his pink pillowcase also arrived after they washed it because renji vomited on it.

i wasn't supposed to post this video but i really am just happy. 🥹 medications seems to be really working. 🥹💗

temperature is still within the normal range, he peed and pooped, but no vomiting occured overnight! 💗 he still doesn't have an appetite so they assisted getting him fed/drinking milk before they gave him medicine. 🥹

i’m honestly so happy and wish renji will really be discharged soon! 🥹💗

also, they will check and give him an ultrasound before he’s gonna be discharged. 🤗

my baby’s strong! he’s doing so well. 💗 look at him drinking milk. yhis video was sent just now from the vet. i am already packing some things to bring to renji. 💗

i’m glad renji’s responding well with the medication. 💗

i tried to update as soon as i got home but it was a total chaos and we tried to clean up as much as possible so we have somewhere to sleep.

renji’s on low spirit today. he barely plays with me earlier but i know he’s getting well. he slept in my arms the entire time i held him. i massaged his paws. he vomited once only (around 3AM) as per the update i received today. and then when i visited earlier, the nurse mentioned that since 6AM when she monitored renji, he didn’t vomit at all.

renji’s being assisted with feeding today. (milk) but they’re letting him take the initiative to drink it. i believe he wouldn't eat the kitten food.

his current temp is now within normal but he’s still under heat lamp. the vet mentioned that until he’s no longer vomiting and under normal temp, he can be discharged! 💗 which is a good news. i expect it to be friday. (and i hope our house will be clean enough for him to stay here.) since there’s still so many things to clean because of the renovation and there’s dust everywhere. 🥲

he’s recovering slowly (sleeps the entire day)

also, while my father’s staying here, i plan to ask him to make/customize us a hidden litter box. or if he can’t make it due to tight schedule, i’ll try to make it but that's for another time. (once renji’s fully healed.)

i got home today and saw the roof in person. i’ll post the update about it too, and the total cost table (renovation) tomorrow once i got all the receipts.

i plan to commute and visit renji tomorrow so i’ll try to rest today. 💗 thank you so much for wishing renji well! i know he’ll be discharged soon! 💗

this is how renji acts even if i already feed him kitten food and milk. 😭 i thought it was because he’s still hungry but i heard that wasn’t the case. 🥹 he’s so cute.

this is 24hrs after beru's deworming. as far as we see it, seems like there’s no 🪱 on his poop but his tummy was still big.

look at him sleeping in his cage that we fixed. we set up a few floors and then he immediately climbed his way and slept. like a cutie big baby he is. 💗

i’d risk it all for renji. 😩🧡 he just had kitten food and STILL wants to drink milk. his greed sickens me. 🙄

i miss my renji.

i received 2 updates from the Vet today. i waited for the 2nd update before posting.

I couldn't visit today as we’re tidying up our house/preparing the place for renji if he could be discharged soon. but i tried to visit and i just didn’t make it to the visiting hours. ☹️ how i wish we finished as soon as possible so i could commute earlier and arrived even a few minutes before the visiting hours.

as for the update. the first update i received was around 7:30AM. as per the vet, he’s still quiet and in low spirit. but he’s responsive and alert. his temperature is normal. peeing and pooping accordingly. he was purring. he vomited once within that morning.

i feel like he was just missing home because the treatments going well, or he’s resting/recuperating. he doesn’t have the appetite yet so he was under assisted feeding before giving the medicine.

the second update arrived around 6PM. he’s still quiet, but alert and responsive when called. he was initiatively drinking milk, he didn't vomit, his temp is 37.9, and the respiratory rate is 44. he peed but no poop.

i told them renji’s quite playful back home so they tried playing with him with laser but he didn’t give it any attention.

he was given iron and b12 according to his treatment plan aside from the medicine for Giardia and Coccidia. 🥺

hopefully he can be discharged as planned. within friday/saturday. 🥺 thank you so much for your continuous support for renji and I. 🥺💗

i will talk about everything the vet has explained/mentioned about the xray results, and chem24. i will comment the screenshots of our conversation (translated), and the results.

but first things first, when i visited renji ealier he was actually playing. i observed renji and he may have recognized my comfort when i lifted him up and slept in my arms.

he was loving, sweet, and playful like he used to. he actually tried climbing on my shoulders and wants to suckle/nurse on my ear. his eyes also started changing to yellowish/golden color. 🥲 i’m sad that i didn’t see/watch it changed. his tummy is no longer bloated. he already pooped and pee. (visible) his current nurse explained that he could be vomiting because of adjusting to kitten food since he was drinking milk ever since.

now, about his xray results and chem24. (i will comment the photo and the screenshot) they clarified that on his xray result, there’s no excess fluids on his abdomen. (i have a recording for that) he was just so young but they will check and redo the xray if needed, as well as ultrasound.

since renji seems to be recovering well, he’ll stay there for 2-3day for further monitoring and then the medication will be continued back home. we (my sister and i) will also go home after we checked out tomorrow but i will still try to commute and go to his vet to visit him.

i already asked for the treatment quotation as well as overall quotation of renji’s confinement. i’m just making sure renji's completely fine once he’ll be discharged because the travel time could take more than an hour.

if you have further questions, i'll be willing to communicate it with our current nurse.

thank you so much for looking after renji and i. we totally appreciate you. 💗

beru’s eyes are okay now!! he loved playing and eating a lot. look at his big belly. there could still be some 🪱 but we’ll see after his next vet visit which is on april 2.

so glad to see him getting well. 💗

translation: hello po. Blessed Day po. We are happy to inform you po that furbaby is ready to go home to them. You can pick him up anytime from 8am-9pm po. Thank you po and God Bless.

i've been feeling exhausted recently. overwhelmed and overthinking if i’m doing the right and my best for our cats. i received this message from the cremation place that renji will go home today. as if it’s to ease the pain i’ve been feeling, like he always does. although i already expect him to come home anytime this week, i just couldn't believe that it's today, out of all days. when i’ve been so emotional and vulnerable.

i am more than grateful to those who’s been in touch with me and checking on me. although i couldn’t reply sooner, they still understand me. thank you, and i couldn’t thank you guys enough. i may be feeling imposter syndrome as they say but i just need to convinced myself that i’ll get through this soon.

i will update you guys once renji's got home.

hello! we visited vet today to confirm the injury in his mouth. thankfully, the vet confirmed it wasn’t any sorts of virus or serious matter and renji really did bit his tongue. they mentioned his organs isn’t fully formed yet so they can’t prescribe antibiotics to cure it, and wasn’t really necessary.

unless the wound is getting bigger and no longer bleeding, it’s on the safe side. 💗

luckily for renji, the vet mentioned to stop his medications and vitamins. (something renji would really want) and wetfood, to prevent it from bleeding further, until it’s fully healed.

thank you guys so much for supporting renji. 💗

today’s weather has been extra hot and we noticed renji getting restless and was zooming. after making him drink milk and water, he slept on the pillow and because it’s hot, i made sure that the he will get fanned on. 🥲

right after doing so, he fell asleep almost immediately so i’m sharing you with photos of him we took just a while ago.

we’re just waiting and hoping that the fan will arrive soon! 🤗💗

You will be missed. Don't know what to say, seeing the news today was devastating but I really wanted to draw something.

Thank you Diane for taking care of this little soul and giving him so much love.

beru and aju disturbing the sleeping fishcake. they've been playful the whole day and it did not stop outside. 😆

he be staring at your soul, judging the decisions you’ve made today.

anyway, he’s growing up so fast. 😔 his milk almost gone, and he plays most of the time on our bed. 🥹💗

renji finished his whole canned of milk today. 🥲 i had to order another can of kmr as soon as possible because this baby is growing steadily. i hope there’ll be available kmr tomorrow from the shop i ordered the last time and at the same price. 😭 he’s now approaximately 4-5weeks, isn’t he growing too fast?

also his tongue has been fully healed! he resumed taking his medicine, vitamins, and kitten wetfood. let's just hope he don’t bite his tongue again. 😆🍊

doesn’t his eyes looks blue or it’ll change as he grow older? 🥰

we currently have 7 rescues cat + beru.

i will comment their pictures and their stories, how they ended up in our homes. 💗