I realized there weren't a whole lot of good Poly sticker designs out there... so I took matters into my own hands and doodled this vinyl sticker sheet. I hope y'all love it as much as I do!! ✍️😊💝 https://twinkletaters.etsy.com/listing/4440065427

Hey all, I'm a trans woman in a fairly tight knit community of trans folks in the PNW. I'm also poly, and have two partners. I met most of my friends through a support group when we were all first coming out about 4 years ago, so there's been this lovely natural experiment we've all been in, watching our lives take shape together. Many of the women I know have entered into poly or ENM in some form over this time, including myself.

I've started hearing from a number of friends that they are poly "because they have to be." That is, either they feel like the dating pool available to them is mostly poly people, or they have settled for poly partners out of a fear of being alone. I was recently heading towards a relationship with a woman who dropped this one on me, and I realized I needed to step on the brakes. On the one hand, I feel bad for her, that she can't find the confidence to go after what she really wants in a relationship. On the other hand, I'm a little miffed. I feel like entering poly relationships knowing that there's always going to be this gap in your fulfillment is, well, disingenuous.

I'm poly because I enjoy experiencing relationships with different people, not begrudgingly or out of a sense of scarcity. I can understand getting into a relationship with someone who can't commit as much time or energy as you'd like, but I don't really want to date people who would always be measuring our relationship against some hypothetical "one" for them. I'm curious if other people here have run into potential partners with this attitude towards poly.

My wife and I were on a morning coffee date today at our local shop. We often overhear other people on dates, and today the other couple on a date there were poly! Their date was going really well for a first, maybe second date. She brought up her partner, he brought up his girlfriends, and it made our little hearts swell. My wife and I, while both being polycurious, have yet to go on our own poly dates. (We mainly just pine for our crushes and sigh about them together like the useless queers we are.) So overhearing two poly strangers in the wild, especially in our conservative state, was really encouraging and exciting.

I wish those two strangers the best!

I just am so happy. My polycule is just getting bigger and bigger. I host game night of my polycule each week, and it's been just genuinely getting bigger and bigger. I have so many mouths to feed a nice dinner too, and I am just so happy. I have been feeling so euphoric with my gender with all of them, and they have made me feel so respected and cared for 🥺🥰

All of us are queer and trans and this is the best thing I have ever experienced

I just really wanted to share the extremely gay thoughts I have been having lately.

P. S. shout out to that awesome thing called therapy. I started going at the beginning of the year, and I have finally been able to actually talk and communicate. If it wasn't for all the growth I made and talking about my traumas with my therapist, then I wouldn't have been able to be doing the things I am right now.

P. P. S. I really need to sleep, I just had the most amazing weekend, and I have to go back to my classes tomorrow, and idk how I'm going to do that when I have so much on my mind >.<

My partner’s partner of 27 years is dying from alcoholic liver failure. When I met the two, partner A had warned me about Partner B’s drinking but I shrugged it off because I’m a nurse. I’ve seen most things and wanted to understand myself from a medical perspective. That being said our polycule was and always has been a V and not a triangle. That and I find Partner B to be inappropriate 8/10 times, overly sexualized in situations that doesn’t need it, and basically a spoiled brat. I can’t stand him. There have been periods where we have been cordial but I was SAd at a bar and Partner B’s response was to start talking about sex (I’m highly aware it is likely hepatic encephalopathy).

Because I’m used to death and dying, I’ve tried to have those conversations with Partner A about the death and dying process over the years. Well Partner B ended up in the hospital this week and from what I’ve heard, it’s looking like this might be the last one.

I’m struggling with supporting Partner A when Partner B has been a shitty person to me and I’m going to be relieved when he passes.

Which is the whole reason I’m writing this. I don’t know how to support my partner through this.

UPDATE: Partner B passed away and Partner A won’t talk to me. We had some very adult conversations that revolved around end of life choices (for me) and I am going through some disenfranchised grieving.

Yes, I understand the grieving process and that it looks different for everyone. I’m giving Partner A his space but idk if we are going to recover from this. Some nasty things were said in that convo on both sides.

I'm sick of being called a "unicorn hunter" and our relationship invalidated on r/polyamory - just because we're in a triad.

And what do I mean by we? I mean me, our gf, and our bf. We started as a dyad, me and my gf, nearly eight years ago. We met our bf last December at Midwest furfest - I let him room with us because I really loved his vibe. And y'know? We both loved his vibe irl that we ended up moving in together. It wasn't until a couple months later that we became a triad. But here's the shocker: HE ASKED US! Well, technically he said, "we might as well be in a relationship at this point" and we shook hands on it. But still. HE INITIATED. Not us. And we sat down together, discussed our boundaries for the relationship, and fully understood there will be no double standards / privileges / anything of the sort for one person and not the other. There is NOTHING nobody didn't agree or didn't consent to. And there hasn't been. Our relationship - the three of us - has been about balance, honesty, and communication from the very beginning.

And y'know what? We're fucking happy. We love and support eachother. We take care of eachother. We spend time together, the three of us, or the two of us. We've been living together for well over a year, the three of us. We have a good life together.

I'm sick of being treated - in the poly space of all places - like what we have is somehow "wrong". We sure as hell don't have HALF the drama I see posted on that sub, that's for sure. And that's saying something, given they both have depression, and the bf has mental health challenges that'd scare the shit out of a lot of people, poly AND monogamous.

The only "unicorn" here is apparently the mythical, successful, closed polyfidelity triad we have. Apparently that's fucking rare. But here we are. Get used to it.

Me: AFAB, medically transitioned (on T, bottom surgery, no top surgery) very androgynous but heavily leaning femme, they/them. Prefer gender-neutral or feminine compliments. Usually sexually and romantically passive. I’m pan and I like men the way men like other men, and I like women the way women like other women. Boy’s boyfriend / girl’s girlfriend, etc. This is NOT a dating post that’s just what I say to potential partners.

99% of the people who have been interested in me sexually / romantically were transfemmes who seemed to be looking for dominant transmasc boyfriends. Who immediately “slipped up” and complimented me using “masc” terms after I told them I didn’t like that, and asked me to dominate / top them and I guess “be the man in the relationship”? Even after I said I wasn’t interested in that type of relationship.

No offense to them ofc but these are people who I’m not compatible with and I’d like to break this pattern but I’m not sure how.