I settled both of my parents estates. They both passed within two years of each other six years ago. They had been divorced for decades and each had homes filled with a life’s worth of possessions. It took weeks to go through each of their properties. I had a fire sale, numerous yard sales, listed things for free on Craigslist and sold things on eBay and Etsy. I also gifted (crystal/fine China/designer goods) to close friends and relatives. It was physically and emotionally exhausting.

Since then, I whittled everything down to a few personal things from each of them that I chose to keep and still have. But, recently, I have begun to get rid of even those personal effects. I no longer want my mom’s old bible, or, her diamond wedding ring from my dad (which I have had since they divorced back in the 80’s). I no longer want the copious amounts of photos and extensive journals my dad left about his world travels. I don’t know why, but the longer I have these things, the less I want to hold on to them and don’t feel bad about getting rid of them. Pretty soon I will probably have nothing other than a few photos of them left.

Update: I’d like to thank everyone for advising on the possibility of donating my late dad’s journals. Having an outside perspective gave me the push I needed to start looking into organizations that might be interested in taking them for historical purposes. Same with my mom’s jewelry. I can repurpose some of it for more modern wear and leave my kids with whatever they choose. If they don’t want any of it yet, I will just hold onto it for them as they may just come around as they get older. Losing both parents has been an incredibly difficult part of my life but I realize that I am not the only one who this happens too. We all grieve differently but it’s definitely beneficial to share your feelings, so that you may have a different perspective on moving forward.

Both of my parents died in the last week.

My father had his fifth heart attack and had double bypass surgery last Wednesday. I spent every day with him at the hospital as he was on a ventilator and struggling to recover. On Sunday, I called my mom (they were divorced 20 years ago) to update her and do our usual Sunday chat, but she didn’t pick up. On Monday, I called again which was very unusual for her. I called one of her friends who lived nearby to check on her (while still at the hospital with my dad). Monday evening, I received the news that my mother had passed away unexpectedly in her home. Later that night, at about 11pm, my father passed away.

I need a vacation. Normally, I would go to my mother’s house for several days after Christmas, and now I have a five-day-long period of time where that’s not going to happen and I can’t just sit around and do nothing. I need easy vacation ideas just to get away and occupy my time and mind. I’m in the states; I will be in the Detroit area for Christmas with my in-laws and would rather fly to my vacation destination because I will already have driven from Oklahoma to get to my in-laws house. Preferably a domestic vacation and maybe in a warm location. Seeing a concert or show would be great. I’ve been thinking about Vegas because I’ve never been there and I know that there’s a lot to do.

EDIT: you all are beautiful people and your condolences are much appreciated. I’m sorry I can’t reply to everyone. I have a great number of destination ideas and thank you kindly.

So this is a weird one.

I contacted a guy off Facebook marketplace to that was offering a service to mod my Nintendo switch oled. He had a bunch of good ratings and explained everything.

I dropped the switch off to him at his house and paid him half and we was supposed to meet up this week to settle up and I was picking the modded switch up.

I see a news headline that he was attacked by a dog and killed.

Freaking awful.

How do I go about getting my switch back without being a complete jerk? And he had two roommates, do I pay them the other half? I dunno what to do.

Context. This post is not about the mother's decisions. This is about my life going fwd knowing I have a child out there. I checked social media and she looks like a great kid. Happy. Living her life. I am 99.9999% sure the girl has no idea who i am. I don't want her to think her father abandoned her or her mother. I am married and have no children otherwise. I told my wife and she has been AWESOME supporting my emotions and is even excited to meet the girl if the day ever comes. I'm just, can you imagine? My life has been nuts for a few days and wanted to hear some thoughts.

Edit: Light update. Neither of her adoptive parents are on the social media site. Well, shit.

Edit 2: I texted her mother and explained the way i want to go. She gave me her adoptive parents names. I have a jumping off point!

Edit 3: UPDATE 2021 - I ended up sending a letter to her adoptive parents and explained everything and her dad called me a month later. He suggested I do an ancestry test and I did. After I told him my results came back my daughter added me as a friend on facebook about a month later. I messaged her and she gave me her cell number. We started texting pretty regularly and interacting on FB. Looking at her posts, we have so much in common. I tried for a year to get to know her and build some sort of friendship/relationship, but she kept saying wasn't ready for a phone call. We actually made plans to go to dinner once, but she canceled the day before for medical reasons. Earlier this year it just stopped. She didn't even respond when I wished her a happy birthday. I tried saying hello twice since and no response. Those texts were a couple months apart. I don't know what happened. She didn't delete me as a FB friend, but she doesn't even interact there. It's so frustrating. I absolutely will not give up hope, but I feel like I'm in a spot where I can't push it any further. My last text to her was basically I don't know what I did to push you away or make you mad, but I still want to say hello. I hoped she was going to be as excited to meet me as I want to meet her. Her dad told me in the initial phone call that she had already done an Ancestry in hopes of finding "me". That's all for now.

Hello Reddit, Recently my life has been turned upside down and more or less destroyed. I’m 28 years old and a medical resident. 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with metastatic adenocarcinoma of the small bowel with peritoneal carcinomatosis. My prognosis is 6-9 months. Additionally I just had major abdominal surgery 2 weeks ago to remove segments of my bowel where the cancer was causing obstruction and bleeding. I’m still in the hospital because of post op complications but hope to be going home to live with my parents in the next few days.

What should I do/see/experience with the time I have left?

Edit: A huge thank you to everyone for your support, kind words, and personal messages. You have all given me a ton of motivation and perspective for moving forward and living my life. I shed more than a few tears, but they were good tears

TLDR: my parents completely neglected me of an education, and and as a result, my life seems completely screwed.

So if you want to know the whole story, here it is. My parents decided to take me and my sister out of school when I was around 5, then we were supposed to be homeschooled, the thing is, they didn’t. My mom and sister train and sell horses, and that’s their thing. Ever since my sister was like 4, she’s been set for life. I, on the other hand, was pretty much left in the dust. I do not enjoy riding/ training horses.. (it hurts if you’re a male, for obvious reasons.) So, time flys by, and there I am at 17, never really left the horse ranch at all my entire childhood, I get kicked out, for dying my hair purple. My dad has always been extremely strict, not allowing video games, letting me dress the way I want, or have my hair cut the way I would like, listen to music, watch tv.. ect. He basically tried to morph me into the son he wanted, but I’m not that person. He’s an old fashioned redneck, and I like technology, music, having my hair not be in a buzz cut, and of course, dressing in my own damn clothes. I basically had no control over anything in my life, and was oppressed for trying to be myself. Now skip ahead to today, I’ve made up with my parents, but there is still that underline pain that they caused me by putting me into this situation.. (I didn’t even know college was a thing until I was 17, yeah, that bad) today, I am 19, I work at this warehouse for one of my dad’s friends, and I make my rent in a week, but I know I don’t want to be stuck here. My passions are music and writing. I also enjoy improv comedy, but I don’t have any friends to practice on. I have gotten 3/4ths of my G.E.D, and all I have left is math, ever seen the Adam Sandler movie “Billy Madison”? The plot of that movie is basically my life. He has to go through all the grades in like a week to get an inheritance, except for me, there’s no inheritance, (or giant penguins) I know I’m on the right track, but I don’t really see a “path” to take. I don’t think I can really put all my eggs into the basket of being a musician, as I can’t even play guitar well yet. Maybe I should Pursue a career in IT? I just need some guidance here. Same guy here as seen on pewdiepie’s subreddit. The anti vax, 19 y/o that recently got myself vaccinated. Thanks for reading. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I’m doing my best with the cards o was dealt, but I have no one to talk to about this. I literally have no friends lol.

Hey guys, my (30f) husband's (30m) friend (30m) just moved in with us after hitting some hard times back home. He moved in, and I immediately noticed that he.. ahem... stunk.

I discreetly asked my husband to give him a towel and show him to the bathroom with a gentle suggestion of freshening up after driving hours through the states, thinking it was just funk from travel. While friend was in there, husband sprayed some febreeze in his room because the room was already permeated with smell!

The very next day, the man stunk again! I'm not sure what would cause someone to get so smelly that fast, especially because he's not left the house yet. Walking past his room is just like a cloud! I really like the guy so far, we are all getting along great. He seems a bit sensitive and I don't want to hurt his feelings by bringing this up the wrong way.

I'm currently writing this from my exercise bike in the living room which shares a wall with his room and I can smell the room, granted his door is open but still. I can only think that his bedding or clothes or something came unwashed and it's making him and the room smell? The shower was a temporary solution and I even wonder if this is possibly a medical issue because guys, it's really intense.

I dont know how to bring up, or have my husband bring up, this issue. And I don't want to let it get much worse because it has already made it's way OUT of the room. Suggestions and advice truly needed. Should we make him wash all cloth items?? I honestly don't know what to do here.

Hello! I am a part time rideshare driver, in addition to my normal career job. Normally I love it...getting out and around, talking and meeting people. Etc. However not so much today.

Earlier today I went to pick up a passenger...it was booked by what I assume was his boss...and the destination was an urgent care that is mostly for workman's comp. So during the ride he was talking about his hurt knee...then went into how his life is unraveling. So I sympathetically listened to him....halfway to the destination he starts complaining of chest pains. I asked if he was OK and needed assistance.

So I pull over on the shoulder of the highway...call 911..then proceed to make him comfortable..keep him calm and alert while we waited...all while checking his pulse and etc. He was starting to have more pain...then nothing...no pulse. So here i am...in the back seat performing cpr until the paramedics arrived...and were able to us a defibrillator and revive him. Then off they went blazing in an ambulance. He is only 42....2 years older than me.

I don't know how to feel. How to process everything. The police and paramedics told me I might have helped save his life...and how great it was...and listening to uber's safety manager telling me on the phone how I did a great thing and so on...

I have seen many times where people feel great for this...how wonderful it is....but I've also seen where it can negatively affect first responders. After the adrenaline wore off and heard the term heroic over the phone feom uber. I felt horrible. I am not in crisis...but I feel depressed...confused...kind of empty..

For confidentiality, I won’t be too specific about my tattoos. I will say that I have one on my hand, fingers, neck and a small one on my face among others. they are not very tasteful at all and I will leave it at that.

When i was 17 I experienced the loss of a parent by suicide. I was very devastated, lost and confused and made many poor decisions. luckily my record isn’t terrible, I have one misdemeanor from when I was 18 that I am able to get expunged and I need to do that.

When I was 17-18 I did wild shit, experimented with particular substances that shall not be named here, hung out with the wrong people, and didn’t care about anything. I did whatever I wanted because I had no parents anymore. my other parent lived out of the country at the time. I made mistakes and learned a lot of life lessons. I have grown a ton since then, sometimes I feel like a boring old man compared to the kid I once was.

Since I have matured I have shifted my view on a lot of things, I am sober, and I am a genuinely good person, I’m kind to others and I don’t break the law anymore. I don’t like to party as it’s boring to me. I know I’m an intelligent young man, I always have been, I just am stubborn and tried to do things my own way for a couple years.

Last year I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. And i guess this explains a lot of the self loathing and lack of confidence I feel. Even though I know I am smart and capable of so much, I still feel like an idiot for decisions I made in the past. I still feel like I am judged by people that don’t know me, I know this is a part of life, but sometimes I feel like I am not given a chance and this is my own fault because i’m an idiot.

Right now I am at a crossroads in my life. I feel more lost than when I lost my parent. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I feel like such a fucking bum and a failure, because I don’t have a job and I am not going to school. I have gone to college before but eventually just fucked it off. I managed to finish my real estate courses last semester but I realized I hate real estate and it’s something I never want to do.

Is all hope lost for me? I know in reality it is not but I need to change my perspective. I’m not so naive to think that getting a simple job and making something of myself is impossible, I guess i just need advice on what to do next. If anybody has gone through something similar in their life I would love to hear.

If you read this i really appreciate you and thank you in advance for any responses I may get.

Love you all -OJISBETTER

EDIT: I’m getting so many more response than I ever could have expected, thank you all and I truly truly appreciate this. You have no idea how much this has helped so far and I am still getting responses. Whenever I feel like I can’t do it I know I can come back to this post. (That is if the mods don’t have the sub closed LOL). all jokes aside, I love you guys and again, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I will try to respond to as many people as possible when I get home.

UPDATE: MAY 1st, 2021

I promised I would update this post and the many if you the provided such helpful advice, kind words, and inspiration. It is truly amazing what fan happen in such a short time.

I ended up working for a lawyer for a while, which I learned a lot, and was blessed to have some income during the lockdown. During that time i was able to finance a car, i loved (a bmw 128i) and make my payments whoch helped with my credit. I unfortunately that car got totaled because I was hit by a Coca Cola Truck.

I ended up getting the same car again and have been owning that, as far as work, I will say I have that prt figured out fir now and I plan on doing something real big in the near future. I cant say too much but I can say it could make me a millionaire if I do things right.

Clearly by the tone if my writing my confidence has boosted, not everything is perfect, I havent been 100% perfeft, but I’ve been making huge strides.

Now I finally was able to purchase my own Mercedes Benz e55 AMG that i am in love with. again nothinnis perfect but I am happy. I am blessed.

I’ve started therapy to help me cope with my past traumas and change my thought patterns, as to not feel the urge to rely on substances to get through the day.

So thats my update, I got two cars, an income, my bills are paid, and I have plans for the future. Thanks again to everyone who commented on this post, if you guys get to see this then thats dope, if not, this is a good lil journal for myself to know to keep ya head up as Pac would say.

I’m Out!✌🏾

• OJ IS STILL BETTER

I’m fine doing it, and I’ll be with my sister (her mom) and my aunt for support. My sister is extremely emotional and we know she won’t be able to say it without breaking down. I really don’t mind doing it.

I’ve done a lot of research and talked to my moms social worker, and I have a pretty good idea of what to say, and how to act. I just want to know if there’s anything you think is extremely important to say or do.

I want to do it right. I’ll only get one chance.

Thank you so much

Update:

I read everyone’s advice and we did the best we could for her. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and will ever do. I don’t think she fully grasps it yet, but that’s okay. She cried, and we hugged for a very long time. Then we all went upstairs and sat with my mom, held her hands, and watched a show together. We gave my niece a stuffed bear that was in my moms room and she’s been hugging it ever since.

I want to say that I’m so thankful for all of your advice. Seriously, it meant more than I could say.

A lot of you have shared personal stories, and that was so nice of you to do. It helped me a ton, and I really hope you’re all okay and healing.

Thank you to everyone who told me to take care of myself, you’re absolutely right. I try to be the tough one, but that’s not always the best. Right now we’re focusing on saying goodbye to my mom and remembering her how she was before she was sick. That’s what she would’ve wanted.

Sorry for the long update, you’re all amazing.

Last update:

My mom died a few hours ago, I just wanted to thank you all so much. I am so grateful I got this advice and my niece got to say goodbye to her Grammy last night while she was still with us.

The support I got here was something I didn’t know I needed.

Merry Christmas, everyone

im really lost right now so ill keep this as short as i can

I have been trying my best for the last two years to get into my prefered course of medicine, and honestly it looked really possible, i got a 90th percentile ucat score and was predicted a really high atar that would be more than enough to get in.

however in the english exam, my phone went off due to my sugar levels going low, i use an app that monitors my sugar levels and when they go past a certain point, it rings an alarm that overrides mute and do not disturb. i got my phone confiscated however the supervisor allowed me to continue due to knowing what it was.

They then said they need to inspect my phone, a few days have passed but i received a call this morning and they asked for my pin, and if i didn't give it, it would have been a breach of rules and a fail. i gave it and my school person who is in control of things says they found pictures of study notes which they deemed unauthorized material in the exam room even though the pictures were over 2 weeks old.

I have been let know that i will most likely not recieve an english score and that means not ATAR (meaning no score for my academic acheivment) and hence i cant get into medicine, or any other course i wanted.

just want someone to give me some sort of plan, my friends are too busy with exams, i dont live with my parents and we dont get along, i just dont have anyone to talk to and i really thought i was finally go somewhere. i really dont know what to do from now

I know, I know. It sounds horrible. But hear me out. My neighbors house is condemnable. Like, we live in a trailer park so not the best area but I'm not exaggerating. The park manager said when they leave he's paying the money to have it taken far away and demolished because he's too afraid to go inside.

It has no furnace, no hot water, and is cockroach and bedbug infested. The three year old wanders into the road at 7 am (and yeah there's barely any traffic in the neighborhood but how is he even outside? His parents dont get up until 11!) The other day the mom was grilling and the fucking buns were COVERED in either lice or bedbugs. Visable from where I was standing several yards away. They were crawling. And she had everyone EAT THEM ANYWAY. They're so unphased by their own disgusting living that they don't realize how bad it is. Half the time they don't even cook, they just give the kids food to eat straight from the can. I didn't know how repulsive that was until I saw a grime coated three year old with bedbugs on his shoulder eating chicken soup straight from the can and reaching for me with something red on his hands. Every time the kid hugs me (for unknown reasons I might add, I barely leave my own house. He tries to get me when I'm heading inside from work) I have the urge to burn my clothes because it leaves a three year old sized dirt stain.

The other neighbors have told me they called CPS a total of nine times on them through the last six years. They're always given a week to clean the house, they do the bare minimum, and then it happens all over again. I'm horrified! Their 11 year old can't even spell his own name because he doesn't get forced to go to school. It's ridiculous!

Can I call the police? Do I just yell at CPS until something gets done? What can I do? Those poor kids deserve so much better.

Edit- I called CPS today, they showed up again for a neighbors call. Didn't go inside again, just told her to get the kid a bed and everything should be fine. I may have lost my temper a bit and insisted next time they come out they bring a cop and search the house, using the terms "unsanitary" "unkempt" and "absolute fucking neglect." Been looking up local numbers for fire marshals and the health department because by this point CPS has lost all my trust and I can't solely put any faith in them.

I've been friends with her and her 4 kids for about a year and a half. I found out she didn't vaccinate her kids after knowing her for a few months. It didn't really bother me too much at the time, (obviously I completely disagree with her, but I can put that aside and still be friends with someone I disagree with) because my older son was already fully vaccinated. But now we have a baby and he can't get his MMR until he's 12-15 months old. He's up to date on all his other vaccines, but I'm a little paranoid since measles have been making a comeback in my area recently.

I'm hoping this doesn't make me an asshole but perhaps I'm delusional in thinking I can say to someone, "I don't want to hang out with you until it works for me" and expect them to keep being my friend...

An extra complication is that we have a lot of friends in common and we usually all hang out every couple of weeks. Do I tell them the reason I don't want to be around her? I don't want to start any drama, but I expect they won't be too thrilled to hang out with her unvaccinated kids either.

How can I talk to her without sticking my foot in my mouth and ending our friendship? Or alienating her from our friend group. Am I holding her to an unfair standard? I don't go around asking every person I met if they're vaccinated, for all I know there could be many people I see all the time that are unvaccinated, and I'm not cutting them out.

UPDATE: had a chat with her and she was totally understanding. She agreed that we should just be honest about telling the group about the reason I'm staying away, so that's a huge relief now everyone can make their own informed choices.

I can tell that she was hurt and I guess there's a chance that our friendship doesn't recover. She was quick to get off the phone with me, but that may have just been because she's busy with her kids out needed done time to think.

I didn't try to convince her that she should vaccinate her kids, it didn't seem like now was a good time to try. She knows my thoughts on the topic from our previous conversation. Perhaps with time she might reconsider. Thanks everyone for the thoughtful advice, it really helped me get me thoughts in order and also reconfirm that I'm not a jerk for making this choice even if it seems kinda drastic.

I sound like an asshole and I am so aware of this which is why I need advice.

I have 2 cats already and if any of them got lost I know I would be heartbroken. 3 nights ago at 4:30am, I couldn’t sleep and wanted to go for a walk so I open my front door and this small kitten runs into my house meowing. It was covered in bug bites, so I thought it was a stray. I fed it, cleaned it off and set up a place for it in a side room. Later on that day I went around my neighborhood looking for LOST CAT posters but saw nothing and was going to check back the next day. I made a vet appointment for it yesterday, went, and got the bites tested and treated and also did a feline Leukemia test so it could meet my other cats safely. My vet told me this kitten is far too small to be outside on its own so I have to keep it inside.

This morning I woke up and my dad told me the neighbor had posted a LOST CAT for the kitten. It might seem obvious that I need to return it but I am so conflicted.

My dilemma is that these neighbors are kind of horrible? It’s known as the drug house on my street, with the police always over there, and it’s been raided twice before. There’s screaming over there until late into the night, I sometimes see them smoking crack in their backyard, and the woman who owns the house got in a DUI accident a few months back and is court ordered to go to AA but comes over to my house often drunk and asks to borrow things.

We also live in a very busy area, with traffic always on the road and having a outdoor cat is not advised in my town for this reason. Also like my vet said, this cat is too young to be outside alone and especially so late, cats must be brought in at night if they are outdoor.

Also I am very attached to this kitten and I am more than able to care for it. I just feel like I’m a better home for this kitten. Thoughts?

EDIT: I didn’t not think this would blow up so much. Wow. To clarify some things, I found out this morning that it was their cat and have spent the day thinking about what to do. I am NOT decided which is why I came here for advice.

Those who think I am ludicrous for even fathoming keeping the cat are valid in feeling that way, but please stop being rude to me because you’re not in my situation and I came here for help.

I never claimed that my neighbors are abusive, but negligent? Yes, 100%. Waiting 3 days to post about this cat being missing when it’s not supposed to leave the house at all, that’s not ok.

Update: I’m keeping him and his name is Monkey.

I'm sure there are plenty of others who are in the same boat as me or soon will be.

I live in a city that is getting hit hard with COVID-19 and today my employer decided to close up shop and temporarily lay off the entire staff. I am in the process of filling for unemployment, but I was already just getting by on my full paycheck with a strict budget. I have no idea how I am going to pay my bills especially if this lasts more then a couple of weeks.

I've been working in coffee for 6+ years and have made it my career, I didn't go to college and they only thing I am qualified for is to work in the service industry which has completely shuttered in my city. I am fortunate enough to have some savings so I will be able to pay my bills and rent on April 1st, but not much after that.

What are some steps I can take right now to start preparing for the worst? If my job doesn't open back up for a month or more what kind of jobs would be hiring with no college degree that aren't effected financially by COVID-19?

I just opened up to my parents about my Social Anxiety problem. I told them I would like to start therapy. My father insisted he would like to come to therapy with me. I am highly dreading that. I can't fully be open and honest with my therapist if he's there. My dad is going to make me uncomfortable. There are some things that I don't want him to listen to.

My father is a very toxic person. I told him about my anxiety, and he wants to come to therapy with me to get a better understanding of my problem. I told him what my problem is and I explained it to him, and I would like to start therapy to treat it. My dad needs to butt out. I would like for therapy to be one on one in confidentiality.

I am 21 years old. I am not a child. The therapy is for me, and me only.

And I feel like my father contributes to my problems which is another reason why I don't want him there.

How can I convince my Dad, I don't need him to come to therapy with me?

This post has a happy ending.

I gently told my students on Monday that something went missing from my desk and that I’d be eating lunch outside my classroom (as in, away from my classroom) if anyone wanted to return it. I told them that it meant a lot to me. It was back in its rightful place by the end of lunch with a tiny “Sorry” note.

All’s well that ends well!

My brother OD’d, currently being moved to the ICU. They had to administer 7 doses of narcan to get vitals, and he’s currently critical and on a ventilator. Not conscious (natural and chemically induced). Social worker called me and told me it’s a good idea for me to fly out and it doesn’t look good/was a bad sign when they had to intubate and his heart stopped and they’ve since revived him, ran labs, and gave him a CT (most recent update).

Need any and all professional advice on what to expect, survival rate, and anything else usual to know. I’m the rock of a family that is fragmented and vitriolic towards one another, and I’m trying to stay calm while wanting to understand what to expect next. Thank you all in advance!

EDIT: I know I left some details out so want to fill in the blanks: my brother is a 29yo male and this incident was caused by a combination of Xanax, SOMAs and Percocet. EMT’s did have to administer CPR at the house and hospital, losing his pulse twice, and he was most likely deprived, or without oxygen for 20+ mins. EEG showed no seizures during his comatose state, and although his liver sustained some damage from the incident/substance use, there is no indication the damage is permanent. His blood work and scans show that his organs, including his heart, are in great shape.

Thank you all for your patience in me posting an update. It’s taken me a little bit to process everything and put into words. I’m immensely grateful! I will be going through your messages and happily respond as I go!

Back story: I did cheerleading for 12 years and have always been in great shape. I stopped working out about 10 years ago and was also able to maintain a slim, toned, healthy body.

I got sober 5 years ago and have gained 40 lbs. I went to the doctor today and weighed in at my highest. My stomach looks like I’m carrying around a floatation device, but it’s just my fat.

I worked out today and yesterday and felt sort of good that I was doing something for my body but also felt an overwhelming sense of defeat and self pity . I couldn’t even bring my knee to my chest laying down to stretch because my stomach got in the way. I want to keep working out and hopefully see results but in the mean time it’s very upsetting seeing how far I’ve let myself go. I guess I knew I wasn’t in great shape over the past few years but I didn’t know how far it had gone until today.

Has anyone else started working out and felt the opposite of inspired? I feel like a loser and like I’ll never lose weight. And it’s only been one day (I know how ridiculous I sound. I promise I’m not trying to be a complete POS I just really need some advice on weight loss and not beating myself up)

To preface, I just graduated from college and about to start my first job soon. Throughout college, many bad things happened to me that resulted the dangerously low confidence I have today. Got very lazy, depressed, addicted to lying on bed and watching netflix, poor grades, my parents berating me due to the said poor grades, gained a lot of weight, missed important tests due to oversleeping, having no motivation ever, I could keep going on but you get the story. Then came companies to my college to hire people. I worked hard for a month and got a very high paying, extremely coveted job at a huge company who had a GPA threshold to apply, that at which time I was eligible. It was unbelievable and the happiest day of my life. Got congratulated by everyone, my parents, people in my college etc. I was on cloud nine. I couldn't believe it, something good actually happened to me in such long time? That too in this scale? I was speechless. I had only 3 courses that semester to complete my graduation requirements and that's it. I would have completed my gloomy college days and start my career at an amazing place. Happy ending right? Wrong. I got terrible bronchitis after a month and was out for another month. Missed a few tests in the courses but I would definitely pass them only with low grades. Wouldn't matter that much right? I have a job on the line. Wrong again sucka! At this time one of my friends told me that some companies that hire from our campus revoke their offer if our GPA drops below their assigned threshold when they hired us. I was shocked to the core. It was not impossible for me to get high enough grades in my courses this semester to be above the threshold but it could very well go wrong. I also mailed someone int theh company about this and they replied that it is indeed true as per their policy. I was devastated. Why is this happening to me? The only one good thing in my life right now could get taken away from me. Not one day since then had I had a peaceful sleep. Not one second passed without me being stressed over it. I cried almost everyday. I would be a fucking joke in front of everyone if my job is taken away. I had to explain it to everyone. After three months of hell, I finally got my grades and luckily they were past the threshold so my job is safe. How could I not be scared that everything good that will ever happen to me is going to be like some form of this? I just can't accept that anything good is happening to me. Can someone please help me how to get out of this mindset? Excuse me for the long post

I lost my job. So money is going down. My dog stopped eating 3 days ago, I decided to skip a meal a day but I took him to the vet. The vet injected him and told me to come back the day after, but my dog is getting sicker and sicker. Right now he is dying, I don't know what to do, I've never felt like a piece of garbage. I had always taken my dogs to the vets to keep them healthy during my lifetime, but now as he is dying I don't know what to do. Let him leave his few hours in pain. Or go to the vet and pay him to put him down with the money I have for this week? What should I do? He is already dying, but he is taking a long time, and I don't want to see him suffer. I am with him petting him and putting water on his body to scare ants and flies that are already surrounding him. He might die in a few minutes, or continue like this till I don't know when, I don't even know how to explain myself well. My apologies.

Update: thank you for all your responses. Mike you were truly an angel in my life. I decided to take him to the vet. I went inside to get my mask and shoes and when I went out he had passed. We decided to bury him where he spent most of his life, watching over my mom when she was taking care of her flowers. We live in Mexico. I cannot express the confort and gratitude for all of your kind words. I cried when i read u/mikeiscool13 words, thank you all. My pal didn't make it to the vet. But in a way I'm glad he did not suffer anymore pain. Again thank you. I didn't know people were so kind.

Recently, a guy who added me on LinkedIn messaged to ask about my experience at my current company. I gave a polite, general response—just mentioned the work environment and work-life balance.

Later, my manager (who’s also the hiring manager) texted me asking if I had any feedback on this candidate. Turns out, the guy told him he knew me.

I was honestly shocked. We’ve never worked together—I just answered a few questions over LinkedIn. Now I’m wondering… should I confront him for name-dropping me without permission? Or am I overthinking it and should just let it go?

Would really appreciate advice on how to handle this.

I’m 21 years old and a few years ago my parents lent me $6,000 to make an investment. The investment worked out much better than expected and I recently sold it for about $24,000; The problem is that my parents don’t want their money back.

I’ve offered to repay the original $6,000 in cash multiple times, but they refuse to accept it. I’ve also tried helping them financially in other ways (buying things for them, contributing toward household expenses, and offering to pay for things around the house) but they keep telling me to keep the money.

I feel uncomfortable keeping it because I wouldn’t have been able to make the investment without their help. I genuinely want to repay them, at least the original amount they lent me. For additional context, I’ll be living with them for the next 4 years while I’m in medical school, so it’s not like I’m moving out anytime soon. Has anyone been in a similar situation? If your parents refused repayment, what did you do? Should I just respect their wishes and keep the money, or is there a better way to make sure they benefit from helping me?

Thanks in advance.

Hey guys, this is kind of a long story so as always, TLDR at the bottom!

So I (25F) have been working at an outdoor/backyard construction company in the office for about a year and a half now. I started as a receptionist, but quickly worked my way up to purchaser, then to administrator and project coordinator. I work 9-9.5 hours, Mon-Fri, days (this is an important fact for later). I work my butt off at my job. Before this, I knew nothing about construction, materials, purchasing, anything. I was literally hired to answer the phones, but I am a pretty intelligent lady and I worked very hard to learn my positions. My job is very high stress, but I make a good wage for the city I live in and I can handle it (most of the time).

Recently, our retail location (where we sell building materials, BBQs, hot tubs, things like that) closed down due to unforeseen circumstances and we’ve been forced to move. I work in our main office. They had about 3-4 full time staff at our retail location before. Now, they decided to move into a busy mall in our area. This means that we’ll be open longer hours, and are required to be open whenever the mall is. This also means that the 3-4 people won’t be able to cover all the hours, and unfortunately we’re in a business where you can’t just hire a min wage worker and stick them at a register. You have to really know about the products.

They called me into the office yesterday and told me the situation, they said “everyone is going to need to help out, so we’re going to need you to work some evenings and weekends too.” I was pissed. In my position I need to be in the office, coordinating with the other managers, I would literally be useless over at the mall, just sitting there, not being able to do the work I need to do here. Initially, I told them I wouldn’t mind helping out once and a while. My boyfriend and I try to take a small trip every weekend we can, we really value our time off together. He works some weekends and I said every once and a while if he’s working I wouldn’t mind picking up a few shifts. Same thing for evenings, if it’s every once and a while... it’s whatever, sucks, but I wouldn’t complain.

Then they go on to say it would be 1-2 noon– 9:30 PM shifts per week, plus one weekend shift every weekend and it couldn't just be on an "if I can pick it up" basis. I already work 45-48 hours per week! Oh – and also, that yearly week shutdown we get every year... yeah, you’ll have to work during that too.

They already know I have a two week road trip planned for that time of year, every year... I plan this specifically so I don’t have to dip into my vacation time too much, I just use that time and add to it. I was really upset, that is my big vacation every year and it’s something that’s extremely important to me that I look forward to.

They then informally went on to say things like “We’re shocked you are so against this, we thought you’d want the extra hours...” “When I was your age I worked 16 hour days sometimes!!” “You’re a millennial! Don’t you guys love working crazy hours to make extra money?” I started to get pretty upset. I was pissed off because they assumed I needed the money, and they also made me feel bad for wanting to work REGULAR FULL TIME HOURS?

It felt like I was being taken advantage of, and put down for not wanting to work evenings and weekends. When really, I just want to do my job I was hired to do, for the hours I was hired to do it. Like I said, it’s a very high stress job and work-life balance is super important. It was like just because the owners are workaholics I have to be too. This job is not my passion, or my life. I work hard at my job because I care about my work ethic, but ultimately I work out of necessity and for the ability to do fun things on my weekends etc.

I used to work retail, and I hated that I was on an opposite shift as my boyfriend. If I wanted to continue working those hours I would have. Plus they kind of just told me I had to... They told everyone they had to “help out” which also makes me feel guilty if I just flat out refuse, I feel like I’m screwing over my coworkers who are also being told they “have to” give up their evenings/weekends or it's not fair to the retail people who will be there full time.

So I guess my real question is – how do I approach this with them? I don’t want to seem insubordinate, or lazy, or like I don’t want to be a team player. I told them I wouldn’t mind taking the occasional weekend shift once and a while, and I even compromised and said if I needed to work one evening shift a week I would... but everyone is acting like I’m being an unreasonable child by not wanting to change my hours and work more during my off time... it’s not part of my job description, and it would be taking away time from my ACTUAL job that I wouldn’t be able to do while I was there... I just don’t know what to say to them to make them understand where I’m coming from.

I hate how it’s become the norm to completely burn yourself out for your job and put it priority over everything else in life, I feel like employers expect that of their employees now a days. I don’t agree with that at all.

They tried to make the argument that lots of people work 6 days a week and that some of them even work 7! They used the example of our building crews. I tried to explain that people knew what they’re signing up for, like they knew they’d be working 6 days a week. That’s not what I personally signed up for.

Maybe I'm overreacting about their reaction, but I really am conflicted and stressed about this. I have never said no to doing anything they've asked me (hence the 3 position changes in the last year and a half) and I don't want to look bad to the owners.

TLDR: I work full time days as per my job description at a job that I genuinely care about and work hard for. Suddenly they want me to work evenings and weekends, and don’t want to give me my shutdown week that I already have a vacation planned for. I just want advice on how to approach this without looking like I’m lazy/don’t want to work/don’t want to help out.