I just lost my little brother .... I'm just looking for any advice is there is any out there.....I feel so dam lost right now ....

I’ve been struggling for a few days. A really close friend of mine passed away very suddenly Wednesday night. I was supposed to go over there that night but I cancelled because both of our anxieties were up. She was 27 and teaching me so much and I feel robbed of my time with her. One thing that stuck out to me was we never say goodbye, we only say “see you later” I love you Panther. I’m gonna make you proud.

Today My grandma died she was a great lady alwayes nice and never asked for much when she visited from Mexico when my mom got the call she was bawling her eyes out I've never seen my mom like this she's cried before but I'm sure everyone near us heard it and I'm sorry for her I'm sure I'm gonna feel the same feeling when she goes but for the moment I'm trying to help her out as much as I can and make her feel comfortable the sad thing is also that they didn't let anyone in the room she was in so she died in that hospital room by herself I'm mourning for my grandma and I hope she left this world with the least pain and went peacefully

Back in February, the 14th to be exact. (Yes, Valentine's day). My dad also was very lonely and couldnt stop mourning the death of my mom who died of cancer in 2013. He was always depressed and didnt tell us anything. Even when we would talk to him. But he did the best he could with it. He would still laugh with us, tell jokes and he telling us that he has a date that weekend. It would be the first in 6 years. He was happy about it but also upset cause he felt like he was betraying my mom. He always asked if we were ok with it. We told him yes seeing as he needs to be happy too. But only If he felt he was ready. He made jokes with us that evening. Laughing.. being his jokester self. About 20 min later we hear a loud bang, like something fell. I went to go check if everything was ok.. it wasnt.. I found him on floor.. we immediately called 911 and they got there as fast as they could. He didnt make it and I cant get the image put of my head where I found him. And think about it all the time.. I relive it every day. And about 3 days later.. my dog passed away. We had her for 10 years. She started getting seizures about a week or 2 before she passed. It got so bad she barely responded to us. It was just a mess and I miss them both so much. And cant stop thinking about them. I fear this is going to destroy me.

I lost my boyfriend almost 3 weeks ago in a tragic motorcycle accident. Music is very therapeutic to me. Does anyone have any music suggestions or playlists they could recommend?

In January I lost my stepfather. He wasn't my real father, but he was my father. He raised me all my life as if I were his own. He taught me how to ride a bike and even cleaned my butt when I was too little to do it myself. It's been months and I still can't process his death. I can't tell anyone how I feel because my feelings never matter. I miss him. And it's weird how after he passed away I miss even the things I hated. Sometimes me, my mum and him would go to a cabin in the mountains during the summer months to escape the heat of the city. I hated it. I hated the fact that there was no phone signal, I hated the bugs, I hated the lack of electricity and I really hated the fact that there was no toilet up there. I hate squatting and especially I hate squatting behind a bush to piss. But now I'd squat for a whole hour (and probably die in the process, I'm very unfit) just to see him alive again. I'd live in that cabin for a year and never complain. I just miss him. I miss being rushed out of the kitchen because I was snacking his cooking ingredients (because what if they are spoilt?), I miss his cooking, I miss his funny criticism of my bad behaviour while he was also encouraging it. I miss his driving, which I used to hate and fear for my life, I'd start the journey in the front seat and by the end I'd be in the trunk after some dangerous turns. I can't get over his death.

Then in April my grandma died. We weren't on good terms because of family drama. But I regret not setting things straight. I didn't even get to go to her funeral because I live abroad and the borders were closed because of the virus. I have fond childhood memories of her.

I mean, just that. My Mom will be leaving the hospital and entering hospice on Friday and I'm just hoping to talk to persons about the very mixed bag of emotions I'm feeling.

She's been dieing since 2012. She ended up in icu at that time and Ive been providing home healthcare since along with my sister.

She's been in the hospital 6 times in the last eight months. The drs/nurses made it clear that either it's time for hospice at home or a nursing home. We left it to her to decide her future and she chose hospice at home. The next time she crashes we have to let her go.

I feel like I'm already mourning. How do I cope with this? How do I ask her the questions tbat I should to document her life?

Fuck. Im not ready.

I’ve lost family dogs but this was the first one that was truly 100% mine and it happened suddenly. I had to be in the room while he passed and my other dog hasn’t eaten in two days. Any advice on how to help my other dog while I am also grieving?

11 years. I left in 2014 to go live with my then gf (I was living with my mom before that, who took care of him solely after I left). I had hoped to see him again, but I didn't get to.

Fucking wracked with guilt.

On Friday March 6, my great grandma aged 100 took her last breath after hearing her favourite bible verse. Ever since I’ve found it hard to concentrate on anything, she loving and full of life, not a bad bone in her body. I found this subreddit and thought I would share this in hopes I can find some clearing in my life and some advice on how I can mourn for her in a healthy way, my mind is a fig and it’s hard to beileibe she’s gone. Thank you for listening to me, I hope I can find some advice. Blessed be all

When I was on my way to enroll in college. I made a stop on my sisters house, she then told my dad and I that she was pregnabt with her second child, and it was a bliss, her husband is a very good man. Emilia was born october 2007, I lived in a small apartament on my sister's house for a couple of years. And she was the most loving creature that walked this earth, I remember that whenever I was watching tv and she would climb the sofa so we could watch tv while hugging. She would come visit me evry day so I could read her a story, she even had this little stool that she used to sit while I was reading to her, and she would look at me in awe at the stories. But she was born with a defect called myelomelingocele. She got surgery two weeks after birth and lost a bit of feeling on her right leg and had neurogenic bowel and bladder. She got another surgery at age 3 and this is when it all went wrong, after the surgery she was discharged and on her way home there was an accident, she passed away 9 days later when they decided to pull the plug. She died surrounded by her parents, grandparents and a couple of uncles, including me, we loved her the most.

I remember how much I love you Emi, so very very much, still do. And i'd like to think you are in heaven, playing with your grandpa, he loved you the most.

Now you have a cousing by me. She is 5 months old and I love her so very very much. I know you are watching over her. I miss you so much.

I wrote an entire post, six or seven paragraphs, submitted.. And it didn't post. I couldn't say good bye to her, and I can't even get a fucking post to stick. Even Reddit is laughing.

I'm tired of writing. And talking. And looking. My eyes hurt. Have you ever felt that? My eyes just... Hurt.

90 years.. 90 years she went strong, alive, a beautiful tulip. 2 more months. 2 months out of 90 fucking years and she would've been here. My mom was going to fly my great grandmama here to finally be with the few people who loved her unconditionally. She wouldn't have to hurt anymore. She wouldn't have to worry if her medication would come this month because our home country is in as much turmoil as I feel.

She would've been happy and loved and warm and safe. I would've taken her for ice cream like she did me almost 20 years ago. She would've slept in a home with more than just her for once, for the first time in years. A home where her things would've been safe. Where what little money she had and the few pieces of jewelry she had left would have been safe from the people who called her family because she got a monthly stipend each month they could take from her.

Two months. 90 years of laughter and love and pain and hurt. And God couldn't give me two fucking months. He's up there laughing. I can feel it.

Giagoula mou, sagapao. Signomi pou den imouna eki na se exa aneta. Tora tha kimithis sti kardia mou. Sagapao gia gia mou. Sagapao. Sagapao.

My Nan passed away just before the beginning of March. She was my best friend. The only one in my corner when times got rough. My Grandfather passed four years prior but I didn’t really process his loss until I lost her too. Now I feel like I’m trying to cope with losing both of them as if it happened at the same time. It was out of nowhere and it turned my life upside down. I feel selfish for feeling that way but I wish I could just be sad and process it, but I live in one of her houses.

I was financially prepared to move when she died, then a couple of weeks later the quarantine happened. My husband and I are both catering chefs, so it goes without saying we weren’t essential and we both lost our jobs. Now I have to find a home for my family and it feels like the weight of the world is on me... I just want to lay in bed and heal, but I still have so much to do first.

I also feel like I’m taking too long to get past it. Like I’m draining those around me, or like I’m just too much to deal with. I can’t stop crying. I don’t know why but I read and reread the eulogy I wrote for her funeral because for some reason it brought me peace... yesterday I finally put it away in a framed picture of us. I felt like I was torturing myself. But now I keep finding myself smelling her hairbrush because I’m terrified of forgetting the way she smelled.

I don’t know how to get better. The world feels so different since she died... in absolutely every way possible. And now I have to worry about how to survive this virus and homeschool my kid, and find a place to live and it all just feels like too much for me. I can’t handle this without being able to call her... so here i am venting to a subreddit of only a couple hundred people because I don’t know who to talk to anymore. I feel like I’ve exhausted everyone around me. I keep catching myself thinking “If only she could just come back... everything would be okay again” but I know how silly that is. She’s gone. I won’t ever get her back. I have to live the rest of my life without her and I just don’t know how.

Edit: spacing

I lost my best friend last October. He died due to heart attack complicated by heroin. This guy was the Silent Bob to my Jay. I'm a small guy, he was a huge guy. I could tell him anything without fear of judgement. We fucked each other over, many times but always remained friends. This guy was a brother to me. I also lost my brother, but my friend's death hurt far more. I'm sitting in my living room with my wife going through his belongings, and I'm feeling really down. My wife and I are near divorce, so I don't feel emotionally able to talk to her, and decided to go to my throwaway. I'm wearing his jacket, just sitting here. I found a keychain I gave him. He was a couch surfer, and all of his belongings for into a duffle bag and a clothes hamper. I loved that bastard. I really need him right now. I need to be able to talk to him. He lived with us for several years, and knows my wife and I's personalities. Fuck. I miss that guy.

I don't really know what to say. My mom called 4h ago to tell me my father died. Apart from the obvious pain and feeling of loss and extreme tiredness and sorrow I feel just now, there are just so many things to do and I can't handle it.

So I guess I came here not really to mourn, but for advice and answers to my questions.

Should I go see the body? Does it really help? I'm afraid it's gonna be traumatic but I've been told it helps the mourning process.

Also, does it ever start feeling real? Right now I don't think I fully realize what has happened and people giving me their condolences just feels weird and makes me hurt more.

Thank you for any answer you can give me.

My nan died less than a year ago and today is her birthday. I really miss her and am still incredibly sad she isn't here anymore but noone else seems to care. I said 'Happy Nan's birthday' and my mum got confused as if I shouldn't be upset any more... Is it just me being stupid?

Hi, everyone.
First off, I want to start by saying that I send my thoughts, prayers and condolences to everyone who posts here for whatever reason. I am a Christian and I know not everyone is and I respect that. I do however, pray that you'll find comfort, guidance and peace at your hard time of grief and mourning. I pray that God, through the Holy Spirit will lift your hearts, declutter your minds and send family, friends and redditors to help you laugh, help you scream and wipe your tears. I don't know you, but I do love you.

My older sister died on December 27th from a sudden heart attack. She was only 36. The day it happened, I didn't break down like my older brother and my youngest sister did. I remember being pretty adamant about getting to Columbia to see my younger sister and then flying to New Jersey to pick up my brother and get to the Bronx ASAP. I didn't finally break down until the Thursday after when I was visiting my best friend and her girlfriend with my other best friend (going through a recent breakup) in PA. I was sitting at the table that morning and BROKE DOWN. I was able to cry some tears since then, but the big one seems to elude me still. The funeral was yesterday, after two weeks. The wait felt like we were waiting for her to die. I didn't really cry. Even after seeing her in her casket. After seeing my older brother and youngest sister break down SEVERAL times, I almost broke twice, but couldn't. I found myself hugging and comforting them a lot. I held my sister's hand as she sobbed uncontrollably. I still hugged people as they cried and smiled and shook hands but I was so sad and heartbroken but couldn't cry. Then, this morning. My youngest sister come downstairs and hugged me and I sobbed for a few seconds. Then my brother came down to get ready for work, it'll be the last time I see him until September. We all hugged as my tears dried. But, I still feel this cloud. A storm coming. A real break down. But it hasn't come yet. I haven't had my sobbing in the car while driving moment. I didn't stay in bed for days. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me. Why can't I cry like everyone else. Feels like everyone is judging me. I'm mourning but I don't know how. I feel like my major sobbing fit is just around the corner. Lurking, stalking, creeping. I just want to be normal.

I dont want to think abt it... i only think about it when im drunk. I want to distract myself from it. I dont want to deal with this. I have so much regret. I feel so bad i feel so sad :( . I cant stay sober anymore now :( i just want to forget that nothing ever happened .

She passed away while sleeping by my side, 4 days after giving birth to our first child.

I am 37 and she was 32.

I have lot of friends and family and I know that anyone can't really solve my problem even with a lot of love and help.

I can't even explain what I'm feeling. I'm desperate. If my son was not here I wouldn't have the will to live anymore.

But I made a promise to my beloved Thais in her grave and I've never flee from a promise.

Sorry for my bad English but I couldn't manage to find a Portuguese forum.

My life was soooooo easy. Everything was perfect however I was always complaining and I don't know if I am or was a depressive guy or if on the bottom of my heart I was always waiting for the worst.

I'll look for professional help besides never relied on something like that, to not destroy my entire family with my bad thoughts and words.

I don't really know why am I writing this or even what am I expecting. I do not lack human contact right now but when the night comes and the world and the internet becomes silent to me it gets harder.

One of the reasons to be here is that I can't feel like I am marketing myself and fighting for the best words with the people who cares about me on the Facebook. Here and in English I feel hidden.

To everyone here, with your own problems, sorry that I couldn't help you. I can barely help myself.

The only thing that I can say for sure is: there is no other option. I'll not let down the people who loves me. I can't do that. So, I am not being strong, I am just sticking with my only option: keep being alive and taking care of my son Henrique and keeping my values that I carried my whole life.

Good night