Well, after a battle that lasted way too fucking long. Today I am clean. There is no fentanyl in my system. And I'm fucking proud of that. Fuck the 30s. Fuck the Tar cut with it. Fuck the China white. Fuck it all.

Today I am clean. Today I feel like I might live to see 30. Today things are better than they were. And that is something worth posting.

Nothing but love to each and every one of you. But I'm unsubscribing now. Throwawayjunky is out. I'm logging back into my main. Back to front page cat pictures, unsolved mysteries, and weird reddit rabbit holes. And I'm more than okay with that.

I love you all. Peace. 🤙

Idgaf what any rehab, 12 step program, na aa, etc say to you. Do not under any circumstances tell anyone you are an addict except your doctor, thats IF you want to (you do NOT have to). People will use that shit against you till the day you mf die. Wheather you are sober or actively using, god forbid anything happens in your life, struggles on the job, family issues, mental health problems, etc..the first thing anyone will say is blame it on u being an addict. You will always be the problem in every situation and it will be bc you’re an addict. Every. Single. Time. No matter how long u been sober. I’m a closeted addict,but I see and hear how people talk abt addicts and I have witnessed this happening to so many addicts I know sober or not. Just keep your business to yourself if u need to talk to someone abt your struggles tell someone who has to follow HIPPA. This might be common knowledge to some but I wanted to put out there. And honestly, the same goes for any mental illness you are struggling with. Once you share your business, to the rest of the world that is all they will see. It’s sad but true as fuck. Just wanted to share..peace and blessings to all u bad mfkers xoxo

(Edit: a lot of guys are particularly upset with my wording saying that it’s wrong of me to say that I died. But here the thing, my heart stopped and my lungs weren’t working. I wasn’t breathing and I was death croaking, you guys act like I was sitting there sleeping. At the end of the day I wasn’t about to shrug that shit off, and if no medical attention was administered I wasn’t making it. So yeah I wasn’t brain dead BUT I WASNT ALIVE. This is the worst part about Reddit and the internet, you tell ppl some real shit and they wanna play word games. Idk if it makes you feel smart but that shit is literally semantics. And frankly doesn’t matter to me. Those who get it get it. 😊)

I’m a 17 year older female in Kansas. And like 4 hours ago I just became a percentage. I had been doing dirty 30s for a while now and was just taking my daily lines. My friend was asleep next to me so I figured I take the last little bit. I got up and made some food and came back to do my last quarter. I remember taking the line and that’s it. Then I was on my side puking so fucking hard it hurt. I was so confused, I didn’t know where I was. I finally made the connection that all these people above me were ems nurses and such. It was so hard to breathe, it was so overwhelming. Some nurse above me was trying to explain to me that I had been dead. Then I see my friend behind the nurses and she’s freaked. From her perspective she got up and went to the bathroom or something. I was dead at that point. When she couldnt wake me up she realized what had happened and called 911 and they told her to do cpr. And lemme just say she did a hell of a job because my chest still hurts. The nurse gave me a dose of Narcan, which didn’t work. I was still dead and that could’ve been the end for me. But they gave me an iv and another dose, he told another nurse later on “we gave another dose because we didn’t want to short her” and the fact that life is that fickle, that easy to fuck up. I’m not gonna be mentally stable for a while, I haven’t been anyways, but I’m alive and I can seriously say I learned so much from dying. How easily I could go and leave my family behind, my baby niece loves me and she wouldn’t have understood where I went. How could her mother, my sister, even tell her the truth she’s only one. It really only takes one extra line or bump or inhale, and it really is that dangerous to kill you without even letting you know first. So stop. Or just consider your life a bit more, give yourself that, you deserve it.

But my 26 year old son would come to this sub and a few other drug subreddits.

He has messed with primarily benzos but would take whatever he could get in a pinch. 25 benadryl, cough syrup, who really knows what all pills he took.

November 4th, he was found by his grandfather in bed, dead. He Slunched over his computer because, as the high hit, he just went to sleep like that. I'll spare the details of how he looked. Fentanyl is what killed my son. He likely didn't know it was even in whatever he took.

9 days ago, I cremated my 26 year old son. He thought reddit provided him enough evidence of what was safe to try together, safe in general and what amounts he could get his highest high workout OD'ing.

Please, be smart. Be careful. Too much is not what you think it is. You can't keep taking more and more. Please don't let another mom or family member feel like I feel today missing my @p1nealpower #forever26

After finally hitting my rock bottom, I gave up up and checked into rehab. I'm now 45 days clean and living in 3 quarter house. This tranq shit is fucking dead and the withdrawala will kill you before a over dose does. I wish everyone the best and please utilize harm reduction and if you Wana give getting clean a try go for it. Ive gained 35 lbs and been working out too and feel amazing. My girl also got clean with me.

Stay safe, Your mod in chief DipsburghPa

I hope each and every one of you struggling gets the help and support you need. The parties over man. Go back home to your families they miss you

like 2 weeks sober, was able to sober up before college. im leaving this subreddit. goodbye my friends. i have a long history here. i will miss a lot of you guys. and i genuinely hope you guys make it out of this shithole. as a everyday blue user for 1-2years, my best advice possible is too just keep yourself so busy you have no time to sit down. even if it hurts. keep pushing. love y’all. dose safe. get better for me yall. pce.

To rail a perc 30
To rail a perc 30
Oh how I wish to rail a perc 30
Some may be white
Some may be blue
But if it contains fent,
those I will do.

-Seedmango

I first want to thank everyone who supported me in my wild adventure of going to detox and get clean on an 8 day cruise.

I want to say that my cruise was amazing after the initial 2-3 days. I wish I could upload pics 😛

Since being back on land, I have found myself being more involved with life, making attempts to be apart of the lives of people I love. I’m saving a crazy amount of money that I’d just blow on dope. I completed a whole week of working sober and that was one of the roughest/scariest things for me was to work sober or unwell. Another thing, I’ve been figuring out ways to cope with my feelings instead of running to get high, I’ve found crying and just letting it all out helps. I’ve been staying busy, and honestly I am just so fucking happy. I had severe anxiety the second I woke up everyday for years. I haven’t felt any anxiety since and I now know it was all because of the drugs.

Today I am 14 days clean! I can’t believe I made it. FUCK FENT I’ll never touch it again. On my momma.

Fetty powder goes for like 120 a gram where I'm at. People let it go for like 20 a point. I came by and told dude I had 30 bucks if he could do me a point and a half. You know, .15 grams. Imagine my suprise when I get home and there's about a gram and a half in the foil he wrapped it up in. He hasn't even calld like saying hey a fucked up or anything. Thought also maybe it could've been just some sortve shit powder and that's why, took a hit and nope, same fire as usual. Was my last 30 bucks and was gonna try to stretch it out til i got through all my side work and could pick up again for Monday. Just thought I'd share my little come up with some folks who would appreciate it :) have a good night and a good weekend yall!

I posted here 2 months ago that I hated being sober; I was 6 months clean. Today I feel like a different person. I'm happy I can smile again; I wake up happy to be sober. I had to go back in time to who I was before the drugs, what I liked, and what made ME. Who was that person...? I remembered I loved working out, so I decided I was going back to the gym. I started eating healthy and going for walks, and it was like a switch went off, I forgot about this person. I'm so happy I didn't relapse because I was so close, but I held on.

Anyone dealing with cravings or feeling like they need Fetty to live, I promise you don't. I never once thought I could be happy again, but here I am!

EDIT: Thank you to everyone in the comments!💞 My hope is we all get our own happily ever after, We got this!! Don't let this disgusting drug take your soul your worth so much more

I’ve been on drugs for almost 9 years now. I tried getting clean multiple times because as we all know, drugs really fuck up your life. I was kicked out of my family’s place and had no job or money. But 4 years ago, I told myself I’d needed to change. That started with a job. Since then, I’ve moved up in my job and make decent money. I was let back into my family’s place. I pay rent but I’m saving up to rent a home with my boyfriend. My family thinks I’m clean off hard drugs. I have a great relationship with my family again and I’ve earned their trust back. I have enough money to supply my habit and my boyfriend has a job and pitches in as well. I have non-addict friends that I love and hang out with as well as addict friends that I also love and hang out with. I got a dog I love with all my heart as well. My life just seems to be going good. I only got clean the couple times I did because I was so tired of being sick and the hustle. But now that I don’t have to deal with that I have no desire to get clean. I like my life. I know it’s wrong and crazy to say but it’s true. Does anyone else feel this?

hey guys. i am well. i just wanted to make a post updating everyone as i received a lot of messages from people wanting to check in on me but haven’t gotten the chance to respond to everyone. as y’all know i was super sick. i had a very minuscule amount left but was trying to save it for the car ride & to sleep at whatever hotel we were going to be stopped at. i probably made around .2 last for like 3 days there at the end. i started to scrape my straw for anything & everything just to get a hit or too so i wouldn’t be shitting myself & throwing up. we left florida at 10 am on saturday & we decided to try to just drive all the way back home without stopping somewhere to sleep. my younger brother & dad rotated between driving. i offered to drive as i knew i wouldn’t be getting a lick of sleep & really needed to keep myself busy. but since i totaled a car like 6 years ago on xanax my dad didn’t trust me to drive lol. also my toddler was in the back & this was the longest car ride she has ever done. she was also sick. everyone else had a sinus infection which my daughter ended up catching. she was getting restless & crying to the point i ended up having to let her out of her car seat a few times & stopping at gas stations more times than we would have liked to so she could stretch. i had done my last little .02 maybe even less than that around 7pm. we weren’t going to be reaching my house until around 5 am. made it most of the way until we had 4 hours left & i just couldn’t take it anymore. at that point i hadn’t done any in like 8 or 9 hours & what i had done was so tiny it barely kept me from being sick in the first place. at that point i decided i needed to stay somewhere but my siblings thought it was a waste. which i get but they weren’t having to be sick like me or having to deal with my toddler & ultimately end up having to sit her on my lap a few times. (not something i would ever normally do but my family was suggesting it. i was even telling my daughter she needed to stay in her seat & my sister had unbuckled her a few times due to her screaming) it was rough on everyone but it was really rough on me because i was sick in a way they could never understand & i wasn’t even able to tell them. i ended up getting a hotel in kentucky while the rest of my family kept driving & thankfully my daughters dad came & met me at the hotel bringing me stuff & staying the night & us driving the remaining 4 hours the next day. i am finally home now & doing better. my mom is going to take my daughter this coming weekend for about 5 days so i can start detox. it’s going to be rough but i know it needs to be done. i appreciate everyone checking on me & just talking to me in general i was in a bad spot mentally & physically. i am nervous to detox but am excited for this next chapter in my life as i have been ready to be clean for at least a year now but even more ready now. i hate relying on such a shit drug just to be able to function. i hope everyone on here is well & i wish nothing but the best & sobriety on everyone on this page. that is all, thank you!

🌝

caution: this is not medical advice. this is just a guide for what worked for me and a few others who have done it

So I wrote this post with the science behind why micro-induction works. On that post I deep dive into the science and it's a pretty long post, so many people don't bother to read it and end up asking me for advice, which is why I'm writing this post to direct people to lol. Sorry if you've been seeing me a lot on here, but I just want to remind people that it is possible to quit fentanyl without being in agony for weeks on end. you will need at least two things: 10+ 8mg buprenorphine(suboxone) and 3-4 days worth of fent. if you don't know how to get suboxone, just use one of the telehealth options. you can make an appointment same day and then go pick up your meds from the pharmacy just a few hours later.

the schedule goes as follows:

Day 1: take 0.5mg of buprenorphine every three hours while still doing your normal dose of fent. make sure you take it at least 4 times to get up to 2mg total

Day 2: take 1mg of buprenorphine every three hours until you get up to at least 4mg while doing fent as you usually would

Day 3: take 2mg every 3 hours until you get to at least 8 mg. by the first or second dose of suboxone, you will no longer even be able to feel the fentanyl anymore. still, keep it handy just in case of feeling WD. even though you don't feel it's effect, it's important to do a tiny amount of fent still.

Day 4: take 4mg at once. now it is up to you but you need to at least take 8mg. some people may need to take 12mg others 16mg. but it's important to still keep some fent on hand to do tiny amounts. even though you wont feel the fent at all, it is important to slowly get it out of your system. abruptly stopping the fent will cause you to feel sick.

Day 5: take your 8mg at once. or take more if you feel you need so, but for most people 8mg is sufficient. this will be your very last day doing any fent at all. (some people still take tiny doses of fent for another 2-3 days, but that should be the max amount of time, and it should only be tiny amounts and only within the hour after taking your sub dose)

From day 6 and on it is up to you. some people stay on suboxone while they get their life in order, trying to repair all the damage they did from when using. others want to get off of everything as quickly as possible (what i preferred). after I stayed at 8mg for a 3-4 days, i began reducing my suboxone dose. every 2-3 days i'd drop 2 mg until i got to 2mg/day. i took 2mg/day for 2-3 days, then 1mg/day for 2-3 days, then 0.5mg for 2-3 days. just note that dropping 2mg at a time is easy until you get to 2mg. from there you must taper much more slowly. click here for a much more detailed and structured way to get below 2mg. [edited to add more info: based on the provided link, if you take 2mg/day, 4mg/day, and then finally up to 8mg/day, and then take another 3 days of 8mg, they recommend a 50 day taper to get off of suboxone with way more gradual reductions. please use the actual link for how to get off of subs, this is mostly a guide just to get on them.] obviously there was some withdrawal symptoms, but they were extremely minor. a little stomach discomfort (take loperamide), a bit of sweating, and some poor sleep. that was all. obviously i still suffered PAWS for a few weeks to months after, but that's completely normal and totally manageable if you're not being a pussy. was it easy to do this? fuck no! it took a ton of will power. you will need an amazing support system. i recommend getting a therapist for some time. AA/NA helps a lot, but it wasn't for me. the absolutely best resource out there is this message board and r/OpiatesRecovery. when you are ready to make the switch and commit to getting of this whack-ass zero euphoria opiate, make a post on that sub, or at least comment in the daily check in. it will hold you accountable.

things that will help:

-comfort meds like clonidine, zofran, but the real magic is with gabapentin/lryica(pregabalin). gabapentin practically took away my minor wd. I would wake up after 3-4 hours really sweaty, but when I took the gabapentin i could sleep much more and no sweating.

-exercise. sounds like the worst thing to do while in WD, but trust me, you will feel 10x better at the end of the day.

-re-learning healthy habits. i for one, had to re-learn how to fall asleep. i was so used to years of using opiates to knock me out, that i forgot how to fall asleep, as retarded as that sounds. i have a routine now. i brush my teeth, wash my face, and no screen time before bed. try eating healthy foods. it will make a massive difference in your overall health (fruits, veggies, probiotics)

-self-help groups. i already spoke about it a bit earlier but i want to re-iterate how important this is. getting off of fentanyl will be difficult, but it doesn't really solve the problem of why we abuse drugs. many of us think that when we get off of drugs, our lives will be back to normal. the thing is, you've been doing drugs so long, your baseline of what "normal" is is entirely skewed. AA/NA/SMART help a lot here. so does a therapist. but again, i got the most help here on reddit and especially on r/OpiatesRecovery. check in, meet people going through the same struggle you're going through. keeps things in perspective and prevents relapsing.

-most importantly, your attitude. even on the scientific articles, they all state that the patients perspective/attitude contributed the most to the success. if you're being forced to try this cause your loved ones are making you get sober, you'll likely find an excuse as to why it didn't work for you. if you truly want to get off of fentanyl, you gotta want it more than anything. you wont have a few days of "feeling weird" or a couple of nights of "poor sleep" cause you to use again. you'll man up and power through.

just know it gets better. i've had over 100 people message me and ask me for help with micro-induction, but only about 5 people every actually follow through. it will be a few days of being uncomfortable, but that's it. you're worth it. if you've been able to successfully use the bernese method, please comment below so other people can see it works. if you've done the micro-induction of sub, you're practically an expert, definitely more experienced than many of these online prescribers, so offer your help to the person who is trying to get clean, it will in turn strengthen your own sobriety.

Here is a legit guide on how to taper properly. they advice being on suboxone at least 6 months and making the proper behavior changes before you even try to taper.