Context: I (32) am considering proposing to my partner (26) soon. We are in a long distance relationship, but plan to live together within the year (we both utilized continuing education opportunities tied to our jobs, so we are stuck in our respective positions for a few more months). We have a relationship most people would probably consider unconventional. We are a queer couple (both non-binary, both asexual) and consider ourselves to be in a “queerplatonic” relationship, which basically denotes a relationship with a life-partner level of commitment, but one that is not necessarily romantic or sexual in nature. In spite of not being in a traditional romantic relationship, we have known that we want to get married for a while now (it’s okay if this doesn’t much make sense to some of you reading this, just know that it works and makes sense to us. This is the most fulfilling relationship of either of our lives and we want to make it “official”). We don’t have a specific timeline for making a wedding happen, but I do feel like the time is coming to “pop the question.” We’ll be on vacation together in NYC in a couple of weeks, and that trip coincides nicely with the anniversary of us meeting, so the timing just feels right.

I picked out a ring today from a local jewelry store. It’s the one pictured in the post. The angel wings hold a specific significance in our relationship, and I truly feel it’s a perfect ring for them. But it’s also sterling silver, only cost me $30, and obviously doesn’t fit the traditional engagement ring style, which has me second guessing myself a bit. My partner is NOT someone who is going to care about the cost of a ring, or the fact that it’s not a traditional style, but I still wonder if it’s somehow inappropriate to propose with this kind of ring. I would love people’s thoughts on this.

I’m also struggling with what to plan. I would like to make the proposal something that feels unique to NYC, and I’m open to suggestions. My partner is a children’s librarian and their favorite book series from their childhood is Percy Jackson, so something I could potentially tie into Percy Jackson is also a huge plus. My partner does NOT want a big public proposal (I think they would be fine with a relatively quiet proposal at a restaurant or a park, but nothing beyond that) and doesn’t particularly enjoy big surprises or unexpected changes in plan (we are both autistic). How do I balance keeping them comfortable while also maintaining a BIT of surprise?

I would greatly appreciate thoughts on if the ring is appropriate and on how to make the “event” work within their comfort level.

Thanks so much to anyone who has taken the time to read this.

EDIT: I see a lot of people commenting on my phrasing and I want to clarify that he's asked "Will you marry me" several times. It wasn't just would you but an actual will you marry me. It's just the ring that's missing because he's waiting for the "right time" I guess.

My partner has asked me several times if I would marry him, and I have said yes every time.

I was also there for the initial consultation with the jeweller about my engagement ring. He had it custom-made, and I know he already has it. The only thing that has not happened yet is the formal proposal where he gets down on one knee and puts the ring on my finger.

Would you consider us engaged already because he asked and I said yes, or does it only become official once he gives me the ring? Can I call him my fiancé yet?

hiii!!! just a lil story time. I (27f) have been with my bf (28m) for going on 7 years now. We moved in together over the summer and I have been waiting for a ring ever since. We’ve had conversations about being engaged around 26-27 so I definitely have been feeling annoyed that I don’t have a ring yet; especially after moving in together. I went to the jeweler a little over a year ago and locked in all the details for the ring I want. Here I am still waiting… Anyways the other night I decided to look through his phone simply to look at his messages with his mom who is always texting him annoying things so this was completely unintentional but I ended up seeing their texts about meeting up at the jeweler and that it has to be quick bc I have his location. Obviously I know what they’re doing there so I quickly put down the phone so I don’t ruin it for myself even more. I ran to the bathroom and started jumping up and down with excitement but also felt so bad that I never look through his phone and the one time I do I ruin a very special surprise. Now it’s just a waiting game and I’m watching every little question my friends and family are asking knowing they’re probably planning my proposal. I don’t want to tell anyone I know and ruin the excitement of it so I just came to tell you guys lol.

Now I guess I need to get myself together, go get my nails done and just wait 🤪🤪🤪

Edit: for anyone upset that I looked in his phone here’s some context— earlier in the day he showed me a very toxic message that she sent him and was visibly upset about it. she is not very nice and causes a lot of emotional trauma for him. I simply wanted to re-read the message that was already shown to me.

again, I never look through his phone and this particular situation gave me reason to do so

if you don’t have anything nice to say please don’t say it at all

I had no idea this could be considered in poor taste until Reddit, but please hear me out!!

My fiancé and I have a large group of friends in our city, a good amount of whom we like but are not necessarily close with (really mostly due to lack of time on both parts). We are also moving to a new state a couple months after our engagement party and will not return prior to our wedding. There is thus a very good chance that we won’t see a bunch of these people ever again.

They are important to us now though, and we would love to celebrate with them! Especially since this is likely the last large event we host before we move across the country. We do not expect/want gifts or money (I didn’t know that was even a thing for engagement parties??) but just to see the people that made our time in this city so special in one place.

Our wedding won’t be for at least 2 years after the engagement party (likely longer), so it’s very likely that some of these people will be near strangers by then. I don’t really want to play the guessing game of who we think we’ll still talk to years from now and just invite everyone we currently care about. However, if this will come off as tacky or hurt people’s feelings we can definitely reevaluate.

Please, give me feedback!

I know the proposal is coming soon, but no details other than that. I'm a type A girlie with ADHD and I'd like to have something white in my closet for the fall/winter 'just in case'. For anyone who had suspicions the proposal was coming this time of year, what did you wear? Looking for any suggestions, TIA!

I ( 19F) got with my boyfriend (20m) right on new years 2025. As any couple does we decided to have the talk of dreams, goals and more for our future either with or without each other. We both have mentioned the possibility of getting engaged at some point in the future.

Though I mentioned how it was a dream of mine to be engaged soon and that since i am still young i would rather be engaged for a while (2 years) than date and wait for a ring. He mentioned the possibility of getting engaged on our 1 year or a couple days after. My concern is if that appears to be too soon.

Is it too soon to get engaged after a year of dating or too early at the age of 19?Many people i know express the concern that the only issue is that i am “too young”.

However, i have been very blessed and also cursed with the opportunity to experience a lot of things in life already such as travel and traumatic events and more. Is it too early or should I just let jesus take the wheel and decide what happens?

I’m disappointed about my proposal. I love my partner and am focused on us spending our lives together, but I can’t shake this lingering feeling.

My fiancé and I have been together for seven years and had been talking about getting engaged for three of those years, and we went ring shopping a year ago. After that, it started countdown in my head. Every weekend after that, I thought, “Could this be the day?” A year of thinking like that exhausted me.

He eventually proposed a little over a year after we picked out the ring.

We live in an area where wedding venues book fast. We started looking shortly after getting engaged in October 2025, and many venues already had waiting lists into 2028 for Saturday dates. He knew my dream was to have an outdoor wedding in September on a Saturday, and when we found my dream venue, they only had a few Saturdays left in 2027. We booked it on the spot.

While I’m grateful we found a venue I love, I can’t help feeling frustrated. In the back of my mind, I keep thinking that if we had gotten engaged earlier—or if he hadn’t waited over a year after ring shopping—we might have had more date options and less pressure.

I was also a bit let down by the proposal location. He proposed at a lake near my parents’ house because it was “easier logistically,” for the engagement party with our family afterward and we had gone there once for COVID date. Because I had been waiting so long, I think I built the proposal up in my head. I imagined what it could be like. Earlier that year, we went to Cabo, and I was convinced it would happen there. So when the proposal ended up feeling more “hometown”, it caught me off guard.

I know the proposal itself isn’t the most important thing, but after such a long wait, I think I expected something that felt more intentional or reflective of the time and anticipation leading up to it. That expectation, and the reality not quite matching it, is what I’m still trying to process. I guess I just want to know if anyone else has felt this way and how they moved on.

It’d be 2 months after the actual proposal. Obviously, not everyone will be able to make it and/or come at the same time.

We would likely do a destination wedding with only our immediate family (13 people), so this would be the opportunity for our extended families & friends to meet. Still too many?

Venue would be free.

For context: My boyfriend and I went ring shopping 6 months ago, and while I haven’t seen the exact ring, I know the gist of what it is and that he bought it.

I definitely didn’t expect to still be waiting for the proposal to happen but here we are! We are now on our second vacation since him buying the ring. I was convinced he would propose on the first trip, but he didn’t.

Now we’re on a somewhat impromptu trip we’ve been traveling around our dream destination for the last two weeks and now have just two days left of our trip. I know he has the ring with him - I saw it in his luggage, and part of me can’t help but be annoyed everyday that goes by without the proposal. I had assumed that if he did propose it would be earlier in the trip so there would time after to celebrate after just the two of us for some time, but that’s now not really a possibility.

I know I should be happy if/when he does propose — and I will be, but I am struggling to not be bothered that the proposal I always pictured is not happening and if he does propose it will be very short lived and we will be back to our very busy work lives right after.

Yes we talked about marriage and semi timelines. Dating over 1 year but in our early 30s. Just curious based on these signs and I know he wants to “surprise me”

1. He used to talk about marriage a lot and wedding details a few months ago. Then just stopped randomly and doesn’t even joke about it. It was the weirdest thing would joke or talk about weddings specifically for a month or two. He said at some point 8-12 months but is doing the opposite in terms of he’s acting towards me. Completely stopped saying 8-12 months too recently.

2. I sent him what I wanted for a ring and he sent me his friend’s business page I’m like ok? What should I do with this?

3. He’s nesting his apt making room for me (I didn’t want to live together until engaged) and he’s more trad too

4. He asked me what I thought about nyc for a proposal (we’re from here) so I said no I told him I only want it be on vacation in warmth (ideal scenario) we’re going in Dec but a yearly family trip and then in Feb. I feel he knows I would want it then too.

Just looking for feedback on these signs there’s more but these are main ones. I’m not a fan of surprises maybe I would be in moment and love it but rather mentally prepare if it’s next month (everyone’s diff on this) but just how I am.

I know it may may seem silly were both so young and we only know each other online (he sent the ring through the mail) and we've been together 6 months but this is what we both wanted.

AITA for being extremely dissatisfied with how my man proposed?

I (24f) have been with my now fiance (30m) for about two years. I love him with my entire heart and without a shadow of a doubt I know he's my husband and I have known this from the beginning.

Yesterday he popped the question. He did it in a way that was (IMO) effortless and extremely awkward. We have discussed multiple times prior how I'd like to be proposed to...I told him I wanted to make sure that my nails were done,and that I could wear a pretty dress...and the most important factor of it all-I wanted my family there.

Those are the only three standards I had set for my proposal. He could've pulled out a ring pop at a Dave and busters and I would've been totally happy with it,but out of the three things on my list-only my nails were done.

He did do some planning...but I was really hoping my family would be there. I cried afterwords. I've dreamt of this moment since I was a child and it was just very saddening that he didn't listen to anything else I wanted.

Pretty sure the proposal is at a very fancy high end brunch spot. Is this a good outfit? Tried to pick something that didnt scream bride or too fancy but was still cute. Thoughts?

Hi everyone! I'm sorry if I shouldn't ask this here or am breaking rules, but I am interested in people's opinions on this.

I'm getting married to my fiance in 2 weeks and have an oval cut sapphire engagement ring encircled with small diamonds on a gold band. My wedding ring is a russian-style white, rose and yellow gold ring.

When we went to look for wedding rings I found it really hard to see what I liked or find anything I thought would "go" stacked with my engagement ring. Eventually I found my wedding ring and love it but I still don't think it stacks well. I thought I would just move my engagement ring to my middle finger and wear my wedding ring on my ring finger, but apparently this is very weird? The gentleman selling my wedding ring told me that doing this would make it not an engagement ring anymore, and a good friend that works in high-end jewellery is really encouraging me to get my rings adjusted so they can stack more comfortably... but I'm just like - why? To me and my fiancé it doesn't matter at all or take away from the specialness of either ring, but anyone who I mention this to seems to react as though this is quite weird!

I think I'm going to wear them this way initially anyway and see what I like - and don't mind that people think it's odd, I'm more interested to know why people think this is odd and if we are in the minority haha! So... what did/will you do with your engagement ring after marriage and why? :)

I plan to propose to my girlfriend soon but I'm a really cheap guy. I admire the work of many photographers but I'm not willing to drop hundreds of dollars. Her close friends tell me to hire a professional but it doesn’t sit right with me spend more moeny when i already put money on an expensive ring. I've reached out to a few photogrpahers already and they charge around $400-$800, an abosulte no for me. My cousin offered to take photos for free. He has an expensive DSLR but is not a professional. He refused payment, but I'd still like to compensate him.

Hi lovers!

To the men out there proposing to their significant other, how would you feel if in response to your proposal you got a yes, and a gifted positive test?

My partner and I have been together for almost a year, he has taken steps to even recreate our first date. So romantic and thoughtful!

We have mapped out a timeline and have decided to start trying for a baby in the next couple months, my cycle lines up completely with the possibility to reveal on his birthday, the day after our 1 year anniversary

It's no secret that we want to commit to one another to be together for eternity

The other day he casually mentioned he was running an errand and that I couldn't come along, paired with a trip straight over to see his family afterward

That with the combination of a first date recreation, I suspect a proposal and I'm anticipating it with so much love!

If we are successful with trying during my cycle that I've tracked, I can surprise him with a positive pregnancy test on our "first" date.

Should I wait until the following days to give it to him, assuming our first go at trying will be a success, or should I add to the magic by telling him that I'd love to marry him and that our family is already in the making?

How would you react to this after proposing to your SO?

Hi everyone!

My boyfriend is planning on proposing within the next few months, we’ve gone ring shopping and I picked out a ring! Just waiting for him to do it. Any advice on what to do as the one being proposed to? I’m a very type A person and would love to have advice on things to focus on, and prepare for the surprise. Also any advice from anyone who hates surprises typically- do you have any advice on how to avoid stress about it? I hate the idea of not knowing what’s going on but it’s very important to my boyfriend to surprise me.

Hi all,

Im looking for advice on how to handle disappointment in my proposal. I'd love some honest opinions on whether my expectations are too high.

My (30F) now-fiancé (31M) did not talk to me about marriage or engagement rings at all before proposing. We own a house together and have been together for 10 years, so it wasn't out of absolutely nowhere, but I still felt a bit blindsided.

He proposed on top of a mountain when we were hiking alone. Overall A+ on the location choice.

My issue/disappointment are that:

1. As stated above, I was so surprised that I was almost blindsided.

2. I had no input on the ring. He also used the generic box that said the name of jewelry store on it. He said we can get a different ring, but it is not returnable at this point. I feel awkward/bad about completely ditching this ring for a different one.

3. He didnt say anything personal in the moment, just "will you marry me?"

4. He didn't tell any of our family or friends, so I had to call people out of the blue (including my parents) and tell them know I was engaged.

5. He didn't have anything planned beyond the proposal itself. We proceeded to eat our PB&Js that we packed for lunch, hiked down, and went on with the rest of the day as normal. Dinner was tacos which we had had the night before.

I'm excited to get married, but I just overall feel a bit disappointed in the proposal. As we were hiking down, I was expecting to maybe have a dinner reservation somewhere or for him to pull out champagne or something. It just felt kind of low effort and anticlimactic.

I'm not sure if my expectations are too high from tv/social media. Can I please get some honest feedback?

The proposal was 4 months ago and it's still bothering me. Any advice?

Help vote for us, we're photo #20, click the star above our image, we'd greatly appreciate it.

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Hi 30m here my gf is 31f want to propose her with lab grown diamond ring is that okay or should I go with natural diamond?

When did everyone start calling Bachelorette Parties, just “Bachelorette”???

I’ve noticed many people refer to these parties as such. Personally, I think it sounds very cringe & kinda sorority-girl-esque. Plus, it’s downright incorrect. The bachelorette is the Bride-to-be; & the party is for her, hence bachelorette party.

I know it’s not a big deal, but It makes me unnecessarily annoyed when I hear people say it lol.