TL; DR: CHEST! Sorry for the length of my rant.

Hey Gentlemen & Ladies,

I'm a gym rat and spent loads of hours whittling away any hint of 'hips' or anything I found feminine with my body except my breasts. It's like I can't get it good enough.

Triceps: check. Abs: in progress but check. Biceps: Check. Calves: Naturally gifted (thank you sweet, baby, 6 lbs. FSM!) check. Shoulders: Check. Pecs:...fucking breasts, man.

I want to be able to peel my shirt off and get in the pool. I bought a house with a pool and I loathe, absolutely loathe, having to go in it any other way than topless. And even topless, I cannot ignore the chesticles.

And then during sex...I want to also feel sexy for my partner. There is nothing sexier to me than a woman's body. My need to reciprocate that for my partner is palpable. I want to feel sexy for my partner, too, and even though I am told I am, I feel I am not bringing enough to the table.

Here's the bane of my existence: and:, for example. The envy I feel seeing other guys without a shirt or one of those breezy tank tops where you can see their whole chest isn't healthy, it just can't be.

Anyone else?

(and why can I never get the captcha right on the 1st motherfucking try? Shit pisses me off..is that an 'L' or an 'I'?)

EDIT#1: complete a sentence.

(im ftm) so i have this one friend who ive come out to, yeah? and in the past when i corrected her on pronoun stuff and all that, she said its annoying. now i heard her repeatedly say my deadname (to other friends im out to) when talking about our class performance or some shit. i dont know, lately ive been feeling super hopeless about my future and this doesnt help

I'm in drag today. Full makeup, bra, women's clothes. I feel like an idiot, but I wanted to make my parents happy for the holiday. Plus I have to see the rest of my family who will "think I'm an embarrassment" if I dress in my normal clothes.

I hate this.

I was in a shop, looking at books. A kid tried to get past and her mum said "Be careful of the lady!" meaning me. Completely burst my bubble of non-dysphoric happy shopping. I know I don't pass, I know logically I look like 'the lady' and she doesn't know, but still.

It's frustrating how such a small thing spirals out into everything else. Particularly when I'm pretty good at living in my own bubble of being a dude, until someone feels the need to point out my body doesn't resemble one.

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts.

Shark week has always been difficult pain wise, but moderate dysphoria wise. I've kinda just treates it like an unpleasant medical issue that just has to be dealt with.

The closer I've got to getting on T, the worse they've gotten. I go from genuinely happy to suicidal thoughts once shark week arrives. Idk why it's gotten so much worse. My thoughts are basically centered around this being the 'most female thing' my body could do to me.

Despite knowing T is in my near future, somehow I can't convince my brain that I don't want to throw myself under a bus.

Does anyone have any advice for dealing? Helpful tricks? I'm basically just trying to distract myself as much as possible.

tl;dr shark week has escalated from ugh to suicidal thoughts. What do I do?

So I just broke up with my girlfriend 3 days ago (the worst Christmas ever for her) and though it was the best thing to do, im now of course lonely and empty and depressed. We were together for a year, we met at gay pride, became friends and then dated. During that time I really changed, she encouraged me to be myself. I would have never gotten the courage to start my transition if it wasn't for her. I've been on T for 4 months. She did my shots, boosted my self esteem as a man, and truly loved me as I am. She went from being a lesbian her whole life to staring a new journey with a semi-stealth trans man.

But now that we aren't together, I'm so afraid that I won't meet anyone like her again who's willing to change their life to be with me and be so accepting. I haven't been sexually involved with anyone as a guy except my ex. And though I'm confident about my looks, I'm afraid any future relationship will end once I tell her I'm trans. Especially if I date women who are primarily heterosexuals.

I was so dependent on my ex as my support system (my family isn't supportive), that now I feel like I have no one. I have some casual friends/acquaintances from work, but they all know me as a guy and don't really know or care about my transition. I just feel so discouraged and afraid to move forward by myself. And the idea that I could be single and never have sex again, is horrible to me (I know it sounds stupid.)

Me and my ex aren't on speaking terms and probably won't be friends in the future. I don't know who to turn to, and I don't know how to cope with the anxiety I have about transitioning in general. I didn't think I could ever make it this far, but I did with someone who cared and was as invested in this as me. I haven't had top surgery yet (another step me and my ex had planned on tackling together). I foresaw my whole transition with someone who made me feel secure who would be there for me through it all. I'm just so lost now. I know I can handle it, but I don't know how.

I know this sub is supposed to be about dysphoria, and my post might seem like it's just about a break up..but I feel so doubtful about my future. The one thing I was afraid of before I started my transition was that I would be to dependent on my ex to support and encourage me, and now my fear is coming true.

Any advice?

I thought this would be a great way to take some of the most burdensome emotions and place them somewhere where we don't have to sift through a variety of other topics. A place to vent, chronicle, or otherwise share how we're feeling and support each other. Where we know that the entire purpose of the space we're in is dedicated to this kind of emotional, therapeutic and heartfelt release.

All the feels, everyone. Take care.

TL;DR- I don't have issues with being female/feminine but I've always hated hated hated having a feminine body and I'm just so confused

(Please please pardon if I use incorrect terminology, I am really not experienced in this topic)

I never have had any struggles with being female, and I love wearing skirts and being feminine in general, and yet..

I hate hate hate having breasts. I'm not a fan of my hips either, but I just really hate having a chest. It's really confusing because I don't think it's wanting to stay young and like a kid instead of a woman, (though I was not fond of puberty) and I've always always felt this way. Currently I'm an older teen.

I tried binding recently and I realized how much more comfortable I felt. I've always only worn constricting sports bras and whatnot.

The thing I'm wondering is if this even is dysphoria because I know how hard it is for so many people and my problem is so minor and doesn't seem to be really gender related to the same extent. It's not like my chest is huge; it's on the lower side of average, and I just don't understand. I've also never educated myself on gender issues in the same way as sexuality because I don't mind being feminine.

The reason I'm deciding to ask about it now is because, again when I tried binding it was just like out of frustration and pent up anger (obviously I didn't do it that well and I did it with ace bandage which I know is bad and not healthy but the point still stands) and so I started wondering if this was indeed dysphoria related.

Also, I don't know if this is the right place, I was just hoping people who know more about this might be able to give me a bit of advice?

So I've some really bad dysphoria and because of this I've had my bra on for 48 hours strait cus I litlely can't look at my boobs without them I'm so discusted.

When I just woke up and am blurry eyed from being contactless and my mouth is shut from sleep and I stumble into the bathroom... I nearly fall down in surprise every morning from feeling my smooth, whisker-less cheeks. For automatically sitting down to pee because that's what I was raised to do but being very confused as to why until I look down and see the wrong plumbing

For hating myself for still walking feminine because everyone told me to take up less space and sway my hips and sit like I have a vagina and not the penis I should be equipped with

For going through the day so confused, like there's this itch that I can't even locate to scratch or this arm I lost and I keep trying to move but it isn't there

Dysphoria feels like being 7 again and spending hours in the mirror completely believing that it was some sort of "meat puppet" and not me because I wasn't sure what I looked like but that thing wasn't it

Dysphoria feels like being homeless my entire life and assuming that this was normal until one day I look up and realize everyone has a roof and a warm fire and maybe it's shabby or run down but it is their home and I look around trying to find mine and come up empty handed

Dysphoria feels like wanting and begging and sobbing to be a ghost so I wouldn't be defined by these curves and lashes and round cheeks

Dysphoria feels like I've been out on sea for so long that I can no longer remember what solid footing feels like or if feeling queasy all the time is normal

Dysphoria feels like I will never be clean. That I will always be covered in filth and that everyone will want me to present that way because it's "natural"

Dysphoria is like a soft breeze some days, gently blowing me over while I stay afoot, and some days it is a hurricane and all I can do is cover my head as everyone in the storm shelter yells at me to just get over it and present myself as they want me to but they'd never let me into their shelter anyway

Dysphoria feels like the reason I can't catch a breath is because of these lumps of fat actually weighing down my chest

Dysphoria hurts. And sometimes I don't think I will ever take a full breath.

Whaaat?? Why??

I just started feeling bottom dysphoria, and I have no idea why. For 3 years I've known that I'm trans, for my entire life I've detested my boobs, but now at 17 I've caught the bug known as "penis envy". Why now?? Why not before? Why did this just (heheh) pop up?

Man, this sucks! This sucks! Surgery options for bottom surgery are so limited. I'll never have the genitals I want. Why? UGH WHY??

I'm sorry. I dislike a lot of things about myself (my height, my chest, my chin, etc.), but I was OKAY with having a vagina! I didn't care at all just last month.

And I can't do anything to help this. I can't get a packer, they're too expensive and my mom would think I was weird. She would just tell me I'll never have the real thing. And I can't start hormones until I'm 18, and even then I might not be able to due to financial reasons and it's just all too much to deal with! I just want to go to college and pursue my dreams and grow up, but I'm stuck. I'm stuck here, never maturing the way I want to, and it sucks and I'm sad and I'm sorry.

Hello all.

I was looking for a place to vent and find some advice and maybe people who can relate but before I get into great detail I would like to know if it's okay to post on here if I am detransitioning...?

I know that this topic is often frowned upon and it's difficult to find safe spaces, also I think it might be triggering for some people so I'd just like to be sure if it's okay to post about my troubles on here.

Thanks in advance and sorry if this is inappropriate!

• Not invited to hang out with Spouse's recently acquired friends as not out to them therefore "a girl", can't make friends with the girl of the group as they asked about "girl dates'".

• Pointed out one of new friends who have meet will notice what's up soon enough. Other friend asks "will you have your dick out when you get one then?"

• trans woman shown on TV, friend says "I wouldn't care that she uaed to be a man, so long as everything down there was sorted out." Cue bottom dysphoria.

• Wore binder too long, couldn't breathe. Triggered chest dysphoria.

• Husband deflects any "gay" references on to me, am concerned at what this will look like when I pass and we are perceived as gay couple. Transition anxiety.

• I want to be out to everyone already. Being misgendered and hearing my (full) birthname is increasingly difficult.

I'm a woman and I hate it. I hate being identified as female I hate being noticed as a woman. My breasts are nothing but a nuisance and half the time when I get dressed, I want nothing more than to tear them off. Sometimes when I'm sitting, doing nothing more than watching TV and I feel as if there is something that is supposed to sit between my legs, and it's not there.

At the same time, while my body feels wrong, I don't want to enter the culture of men. I don't want the culture of rape jokes and condescension. And I don't want to leave the culture of lesbianism. Of women loving women.

So I'm trying to cope and live and exist as me with my dysphoria. Is there anyone else like me?