I'm not disabled, but I drive for Uber. I see it all the time. Not just other gig drivers, but the general public, too. It annoys me. It just seems wrong. As in other subs and they'll admit it and say they don't care.

I think the first time punishment for doing it is the car gets towed to a junk yard and crushed. Or maybe find a way to get around the 8th Amendment and temporarily disable these folks so they can see how annoying it is when someone lazy makes them go further.

Last Saturday i went to a doctor and while listening to my heart the doctor told me to remain sitting down, and at some point she murmured "I'm going to lift it" and before i realized what she meant, she lifted my boob with one hand to listen to my heart below it.

I was in shock since that has never happened to me before. I went with a friend and we were laughing about it as we left, like, it was not that big of a deal but i always have this thing of thinking "If I wasn't disabled, would this still happen?". You know, like seeing the disabled person as not a sexual being so not worrying about their agency on their own body... Am I overthinking it or do you think it was not ok?

I’m autistic, and conflict is a huge issue for me. I have a couch outside that I use to relax.

I looked through my peephole this morning, and found a homeless person on my couch. I thought they’d be gone within a bit. It’s been almost 2hrs, and they haven’t left yet. I’d this was tomorrow I’d be so uncomfortable.

I just don’t want to make this a constant thing, I also don’t want to be that neighbor with a no trespassing sign.

I just can’t do it myself, so yeah I called the cops. Yes I understand that most homeless are mentally ill. It’s just some and I don’t want to risk it can be irrational and violent.

Hi everyone! Perhaps this is a bit of an odd question, but I figured this sub might be the best place to ask this to get an objective opinion. I'm a big fan of a fictional character from a TV show, and I'd like to cosplay as him at a convention. For those who aren't familiar with cosplaying: it means you dress up in a costume as a character for 1 day at an event where other people do the same, and you meet people who enjoy the same media as you. People put a lot of effort into making their costumes look as convincing and accurate as possible. I've done it a few times before and enjoyed it a lot.

This time tho, I was planning on cosplaying as a character who uses a cane to walk. I have a disability myself and I do use aids sometimes, but not a cane specifically. Therefore, I'm not sure if actual cane users would take offense in me using it as an accessory, essentially... The disability is a very important part of this character's storyline, so leaving it out of the cosplay doesn't feel right either. It's a part of who he is. Obviously, I won't be copying his limp or anything, I'll just carry the cane around.

I'd like to hear whether or not actual cane users consider this acceptable or not. I wanted to ask this question outside of the fandom and cosplay circle, because I think I'll get a more accurate response that way from people who it actually affects. Thanks in advance!

Is there a widely accepted derogatory term for non-disabled people? If not, can we create one?

My family is having a ball coming up with slurs for me, and I'd like to throw back a few choice names/terms that pack the same punch. It's all in good spirits (family, and all 🙄), of course.

Would it be insensitive of me to use a white cane? Some context is that i have always had to wear glasses for school and without them i can see just fine just cant see to well far away. However i have a "good" eye and a "bad" eye. If my good eye is for some reason unavailable i would struggle to read, make things out or even be able to walk properly without bumping into things. So basically my good eye pulls all the weight. My doctors have suggested i wear an eye patch on my good eye to force my bad eye to pull its own weight... im a busy person so i cant always just stay home and lounge... if i got a white cane to help me navigate the world would it be insensitive of me? I can see just fine without the eye patch but with it on its a whole different story... sorry if the question is dumb i genuinely want to know what others think cuz i dont want to be insensitive...

Straight to the point:

Please keep in mind that it has nothing to do with you, your doctor wants to help you (mostly), it's what happens to them should they sign that paperwork and the SSDI review board refuses your claim.

Your doctor will end up with what is called in normal circles a 'Blemish' on their record which is coming from a senior board. That 'Blemish' can cause serious problems with their practice to the point of being black balled if they are not careful.

This can get them removed from the scope of being a 'Trusted' physician no matter how great of an MD your doctor might be. They are no longer 'recommended' and in time they will no longer be able to run their practice and are forced out eventually.

This is why, if you have multiple doctors, your primary will pass the buck and tell you to ask your pain specialist, potential surgeon, or any other doctor to sign off on it instead of them. THERE IS YOUR ANSWER. Nobody wants that ceiling to come crashing down on them after that 10-14 years they put in to get to where they are.

When I found this out, I was disgusted. I don't recommend if you practice medicine to comment weather you agree on this matter being most social media accounts are linked. But, if you're just as sick of it as I am, by all means comment.

Such a glorious system we have, don't you think?

As someone with invisible disabilities, sometimes I wish I had a physical disability, so my disabilities were obvious and people wouldn't expect me to be able to do everything. What do you think?

As the question says

So, for the past few years, I have been super overweight. I also have asthma, high blood pressure issues, and two types of anemia. I can't walk longer than 10 minutes without either pretty out of breath or my lower back, legs and feet being in a lot of pain and/or discomfort, usually all the above.
I also can't stand longer than 5-10 minutes without my lower back legs and feet being in pain, and I usually have to constantly pace around the room in order to alleviate the pain and discomfort. Whenever I walk around, I'm rather clumsy, and other people have described me as having a wobbly waddly walk.
I skateboard because I'm able to tolerate the pain of skating more than the pain of walking, and even then my skating sessions can't last longer than 5 minutes before the above mentioned symptoms happened. The above has been one of the top two reasons why I can't hold down a typical retail or food/customer service job (the other being my autism), but I just convinced myself that I'm just being lazy.

I made a disabled friend recently who uses a rollator, and after casually telling them a portion of the above, they suggested that I try using a mobility aid, specifically the kind that they used. After stewing on it for a couple weeks, I decided that it'd be worth trying it.

The thing is, I am capable of walking and standing, and I'm afraid that me getting one would just make me an attention seeking phony who doesn't actually need to use one. But I'm starting a good paying internship in a few weeks, and I feel like that having this would make the job quite more managable. What do you guys think? Is it okay if I buy a rollator even though I'm not officially diagnosed as (physically) disabled?

I’ve been seeing a lot of videos complaining about things not being accessible which to some extent, completely valid, but certain things just can’t be accessible to everyone. If something were perfectly accessible for me, it would make it inaccessible for the average person. I saw a video of someone complaining about the inaccessibility of stores and how they can’t reach most things in the store because they are too high for them to reach from their wheelchair. But if everything were low enough stores would have to be gigantic, elderly people would have to bend down for almost every item, and many more problems would arise. And it’s it like you cant get your groceries either, an employee would be happy to help you reach something. The reality is that we have to live with these struggles because, however harsh, the truth is the world doesn’t revolve around you and not everything can be accessible.

**Disclaimer:

( (I wrote my first draft and then used artificial intelligence to improve its clarity and coherence. I hope this adjustment is okay. Also, I have written for my school newspaper in high school and in university and got an A in college-level English, including helping other students.)

Feeling Invisible in "Supportive" Disability Spaces

I'm feeling a bit down and wanted to share something that's been bothering me. As a person with cerebral palsy and a South Asian/Indian background, I've sought out online spaces, like some of the disability subreddits, hoping to find genuine connection and support. The whole idea is that these communities are supposed to be safe and supportive places, right? But lately, that just doesn't seem to ring true for me.

💬 The Silence After Sharing

The toughest part is when I make a post about something I'm genuinely struggling with or when I'm just sharing a difficult moment—and then I hear crickets. I see that people have viewed the post, but there's often zero engagement, not even a quick comment to acknowledge it. It makes me feel incredibly invisible and isolated, which is the exact opposite of what I hoped to find in a space dedicated to disabled people.

🙏 Just Wanting to Be Seen

It's a strange kind of sadness. You put yourself out there, you're vulnerable, and the response is absolute silence. It makes me wish that people could just read and acknowledge the posts that are difficult. I'm not always looking for a full advice column—sometimes, a simple "I hear you" or "That sounds tough" is all it takes to make a huge difference. Has anyone else experienced this kind of non-response or silence in what should be a supportive community?

A Final Thought ❤️

Thank you all for taking the time to read this post—the very act of reading is more than I sometimes get. It’s tough when you feel like you’re reaching out into the void, but I truly believe the support is there; we just need to make sure we’re actively "lifting as we climb" in these spaces. Hope to hear your thoughts and experiences below.

And yeah you know, this statement isn't bad on its own but when it's in response to us telling her about our DID... It's problematic. We told her about being plural and that's when she said this. We responded to her by being like "well not really because it's a rare disorder caused by severe, repeated trauma in childhood, blah blah blah...". Her response was to just double down and go "yeah I'm not saying everyone has the disorder, but, ya know, we all have different parts of ourselves". I could've argued with her but I really just did not feel like getting into it. We had a lot of other stuff we needed to talk to her about that day and just didn't have the time to get into it. We'd switch social workers but we'd have to go back on a waitlist, which, screw that. Will just have to put up with her until we can get all the assistance we need

My stupid useless drs are constantly giving me issues. I’m in contact with them via email, text messages, and my husband calls, texts, and emails them too. Yet if for some reason I miss an appt which I always tell them why. They call the cops for a welfare check. It’s literally beginning to become harassment.
Currently I have a g tube stoma hole where the g tube fell out and due to not using it in over a year, I opted to just let it close. I was initially told it’d be a short week. Now it’s been 3 months. Still not closed. I’ve missed many dr appts and important blood work that needs done for my TPN because it’s literally impossible to get up, clean up, get downstairs, get into my wheelchair, get to dr office, do the appt, and repeat to come all the way home while leaking profusely from my hole. Any food or drink I intake comes right back out. I could drink milk and it literally is still cold because it comes out my stomach hole nearly immediately after intaking it. My skin is burned up from the acid leaking. My urine is so dark and I’m concerned about the state of my kidneys due to not being able to intake water. (The way my TPN was set up was to be in conjunction with what little oral food/water I could take in as a combo to keep my bowels from going paralyzed completely) So I need all the food an drink I can get. I am losing weight and really truly fear once this is over I’ll be admitted to the hospital for awhile to try to bring my body back to stable again.
Yet I’m continually harassed with these false welfare checks from the cops. I feel like I’m going to end up in jail because I’m sick of it and keep going off on the cops. Is there any way to make it stop? The cops said it doesn’t constitute harassment charges being filed on their part. Go figure. I’m filing complaints including formal with the state but I just want it to stop. What else can I do?

I'm 15 FTM and think a mobility aid could help me but I haven't been diagnosed with anything. I have good days and bad days but on bad days (or really bad days) I find it really hard to get up stairs or walk around because my knees (usually left but sometimes right or both at the same time) hurt too much. Like I can do it but it's really painful. My lower back also starts hurting and continuously gets worse if I stand up for too long, same with my knees. I've been looking into canes and crutches and whatnot but I don't want to take away resources from people who might need them more, especially since I haven't been diagnosed with literally anything at all. I'm old enough to go to the GP alone to ask but I don't have the money or a Medicare card of my own. (I live in Australia and 16+ is when you can get a Medicare card of your own. Otherwise it's included with your parents ones.) This isn't something I feel comfortable bringing up with my parents as they've already tried exercises that didn't help and I know they would just insist I keep doing the exercises.

I don't know what to do and I really need the opinions of people with disabilities. I think this might count as one but I'm not sure and again I don't want to take resources away from people who need them more or use something of this importance to so many people if I don't need to. Help?

Edit: Forgot to say this, but I also feel like I'm too young in the eyes of society to need one so idk what to do.

Hello, this is maybe a really stupid question, but onwards we go.

I have *something* wrong with me (no clue what, currently waiting on referrals to neurology and immunology to come through, but I've still 2 years left on the waiting list for both). Whatever it is, it's causing a lot of issues including pain and weakness on my right whole right side which often means getting around is difficult and painful.

I've been wondering for a long time about getting a crutch for when I have to do a lot of walking/ for when I'm in a bad flare up of *the something*, but I keep talking myself out of it because I don't have anything diagnosed wrong with me and I don't even know if what I'm experiencing is bad enough to warrant getting a crutch. But whatever is wrong with me is here to stay and the doctors are being no help whatsoever (that could be its own rant altogether) so I'm just a bit desperate to find any ways I can to make things a bit easier and less painful for myself.

I think my main concern is that if I do it'll be disrespectful to people who really need mobility supports? Like I'm "cosplaying" having a disability, or like faking it for stolen valour or something.

Please share your opinions and experiences! Is it normal to buy your own mobility supports without a doctor telling you to? Is it inappropriate to do so?

Many thanks for reading this fast if you did so!!

EDIT: Thank you to everyone who provided advice and kind words. It is hugely appreciated and has already helped a lot. I didn’t realize my husband could be considered a “caregiver” because he doesn’t help me with personal tasks like eating or bathing, or that there were so many resources for caregivers. I will absolutely be looking into programs near me and into hiring a cleaner. (We are also trying to move when our lease is up, to the person who asked).

I was surprised by the amount of “ungrateful” comments considering this is a space for disabled people. I have spent years working on my guilt over being disabled and having him take care of me. I was only able to get over it because HE has reminded me over and over that I am not a burden and that he is happy in our relationship. I thought it was obvious in the post that I care deeply about his well-being which is why I asked for an outside perspective.

I do appreciate all the kind words said about my husband because I agree! He is a wonderful partner and I really am so lucky to have him. I am always checking in with him about his needs and how he’s feeling and he is actually not as stressed as you would think. I want to keep it that way, hence why I was so apprehensive about putting more on his plate. I don’t want to put more on his plate, but I also want us to have a clean home. Thankfully your advice has made me aware of other ways I can improve our situation so thank you again to the kind people who commented.

My husband (30M) and I (28F) have been together almost 10 years. We have a loving and healthy relationship that I am very satisfied with, except one thing. 

I have slowly become more disabled over the past 5 years. I have ME/CFS, POTS, hypermobility, chronic pain, as well as ADHD. I have been working very hard for years to improve my condition with PT and meds, etc. but currently I am not at a place where I can do much of anything. I can’t work, cook, clean, go to the store on my own, etc.

My husband has gladly taken up the task of daily chores. He works full time, cooks dinner every night, hand washes all the dishes because we don’t have a dishwasher, takes out the trash to a trash center because we don’t have pickup, takes all our laundry to the laundromat cause we don’t have a washer/dryer (our apartment sucks lol). 

However, my husband doesn’t really clean anything else. No vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, dusting. No bathroom cleaning. No kitchen cleaning. Basically anything that does not need immediate attention he doesn’t do UNLESS I ask him too. And it typically takes multiple asks and reminders for it to get done. 

This is the problem. Is it too much to ask that he do all this other cleaning too? 

It feels like he doesn’t care if our apartment is dirty, and often when I mention something needing to be done I can tell he doesn’t take it as seriously as me. I know a lot of that comes from being raised as a man and not taught the importance of cleaning. Which is not an excuse, but it makes sense.

I know having a clean space would do wonders for my mood and mental health and would help me be more productive. I have talked to him many times about how I don’t like the state of our apartment, how I wish he would clean more. Normally he is very receptive when I express that something’s wrong, but when it comes to this I feel like no matter what I say he just doesn’t care. 

I am willing to be more direct about this being a big issue we need to address, but I keep thinking “am I asking too much?” “am I setting unrealistic expectations?” “is this going to put unnecessary stress on him?” I feel so bad asking him to take on even more housework when I can’t help, but I also know deep down that we both deserve to live in a clean apartment. 

I would love to know if anyone else has dealt with this. I am open to advice but I won’t tolerate any hate for myself or my partner.

Update: They price matched the Queen room which was $30 cheaper! I made too many phone calls to count, talked to no less than 10 different people, pretty sure a few hung up on me, and wrote a very long email explaining the ADA and what I needed. I’m enjoying this win for now.

I’m working to book a hotel in Chicago Illinois for my sister and I and the hotel in the location that works best is not ADA compliant. First issue, they only have ONE type of accessible room: rooms with two double beds The ADA states that hotels must offer choices of the different types of rooms that they offer and the number of beds. For example, since this hotel offers king bed room, queen rooms, and even suites, they should have comparable rooms that are accessible. Heaven forbid someone with a disability has a partner they want to share a bed with. At this hotel you don’t have that option.

Outside of that is the even bigger problem: they’re charging more for the accessible room! The standard two double beds rooms are $119 per night while the accessible options is $128 a night. Not a huge difference, but still so unfair and illegal. Their queen rooms are only $96 per night which is what I would prefer, but they’re not accessible for a wheelchair user. So in reality I would have to pay an extra $31 per night if I want a room that is usable.

Here’s the question I know some people might ask: why don’t we just go to a different hotel? We are staying in Chicago for two nights to go see someone in the theatre. This hotel is across the street from the theatre and would be easy to get there. Every other hotel is a 10+ minute walk and it’s going to be bitter cold and I’ll be pushing my sister in her wheelchair while I also have problems.

With all of that being said, I’ve called the hotel and a manager or someone higher up is supposed to call me back tomorrow regarding this issue. If anyone has any advice on how to best get across the fact that they’re breaking the law would be appreciated.

I have screenshots of the rooms prices from their website as well as two third party booking sites. I also have screenshots from the ADA website discussing the guidelines on equal price as well as offering different rooms.

Hello, my name is castiel and i have a history of depression and i struggle with selfharm, a lot of this self harm as been on my leg, making a lot of my leg scar tissue and hard to walk due to pain or discomfort, i have also found it hard to get out of bed most days because of weakness, i have been interested in a cane for a while but have yet to get one because of the lingering thought that i cant use one because i dont have a disability.

I’ve been seeing comments and posts complaining about how people will get a cane from their local store, have it not properly fit them, not tell their doctors about their use of a cane and then get injured from using it because people encouraged them to use it. The thing is, im the people theyre talking about. I bought a cane from walmart, my mom supported me in my desire for a mobility aid, I know its not my proper size and I haven’t told my doctor about it yet. Its only been a few days that i’ve been using and in the morning im going to the doctors to search for a diagnosis but even so I feel kinda ashamed for using my cane under my circumstances so when I go to the doctors im hoping they might tell me to use something else or help me to get an affordable cane my size because I realize im the person those comments are talking about. I truly do need my cane though and I was desperate to get a mobility aid fast because my circumstances required me to not miss any school for an upcoming trip! I am going to the doctors soon but those comments have me abit worried because im bringing it on my trip where I have to walk alot and getting more injured doesn’t sound very fun!

I know now that what i did wasn’t good but i cant help but feel targeted for taking steps to get back into my life. My cane has really really helped me and I do see the concern in those posts and comments, and I know they’re right but I cant lie…some point of views feel very privileged or even ableist at times, talking about how the kids who come here asking if they should use a cane should consult their doctor first above all else or else their use of it would be too dangerous or invalid?

Not everyone can consult a doctor or get a second opinion on a whim, …and the people who also just immediately assume the people who ask are faking?? The best advice is to educate and seek a doctor when able to without invalidating other’s disabilities because it’s a “fad”…? please tell me im not the only one who’s seen these kinds of comments. I really do understand and agree with the valid concerns and want to put them to action in my own life, but I cant help but feel like some people are just making a negative bubble putting down (mostly) confused kids.

edit: I spent over a thousand dollars for this trip, and im emotionally tied to it, I cant just NOT go but i do understand the worry. I dunno if y’all missed the part where i said i agree with those posts concerns and that im going to the doctors but yes, im aware and going to the doctor today. Thank you for all your comments :) ill try to be careful.

edit: doctor said it was fine but im going to a rheumatologist for a dx and to ask more questions about it

Today, I had to take my car up to the shop because it had a flat tire. The guys at the shop took a look at my car, and told that the tire would have to be replaced. He then told me how much it would cost, and I asked if I could pay right then. He then told me I could wait until everything was done.

I then realized how dumb that was of me to ask that. You don’t pay people for a service until they’ve completed that service for you. If you pay them before they’ve even completed the service, they could just take your money and just go on their way without doing anything for you. It’s like that scene in the movie Idiocracy, where that woman goes around telling guys she’ll have sex with them for money, and they’re so dumb that they just give her their money right after she says that, and then she just walks away with their money laughing up her sleeve.

If anyone went to court to get guardianship over me, all they’d have to do is mention my autism diagnosis, tell them about this story, and then I’d be done for. I’d be under a guardianship, thrown into a group home with a bunch of sleazy, abusive workers who work in group homes just so they can tyrannize the autistic people who have been put there, and I’d never know the taste of freedom ever again…

I am genuinely curious about this. I see posts all over this forum and several others from younger people(below 25) who all have pretty much the exact same conditions. Now as to whether some of these are actually diagnosed, I’m truly not sure. I just wondered why it’s all the same? Any ideas? I am someone who has a variety of health issues herself, so I am NOT judging

I was stupid for voting for Trump. One of the reasons I voted for him because of his promise of lowering taxes, but my taxes haven't lowered, my taxes increased a few months ago. My disability benefits have been reduced that I can barely afford some of my needs, and can't save money because I need it for catheters. And I don't make much as a school teacher.

And this is not my only complain about Trump. I also voted for him for border protection since I was harassed a couple of times by some bad apple immigrants who didn't speak English, and as a paraplegic woman, I thought I'd feel safer with ICE deporting only criminals. But with what's come in the Epstein files, I feel disgusted for having supported Trump. And I neither like how ICE is targetting citizens when I thought they'd only deport criminals, in fact I just saw a video on this subreddit of ICE dragging out a disabled woman, and I just feel bad for her. I don't like ICE attacking disabled people.

Part of my support for Trump came from my Christian faith and my parents who are Republicans, not hardcore Republicans nor too political, but when it's time for elections they vote Republican. But I just realize MAGA is not gonna help my interests as a disabled woman. I still have some right-leaning views and still disagree with the left on some things, but MAGA is just terrible and now I realize it's a cult since Trump can do anything and MAGA will still support him.

I'm sorry for the politics I voted and ended up affecting the disabled community.

My dad got mad at me when I was screaming "why!?" on the floor because of my brain injury. It's the most emotionally abusive thing he's done in a long time. I hate my life. I hate my stupid fucking disabilities. I'm 24 and I wish I could get away.