We’ve only said hello in passing but we did get their phone number at that time.

I’m HoH and have been for about 20 years. My hearing is bad enough that even with my hearing aides if I can’t see someone’s face I can’t understand I them. I just sent my husband off to a social event without me. I don’t know any of the people and standing around making small talk is exhausting. So basically, I self-isolated but now I wish I had gone. Although, I know the reality is it would have been exhausting and depressing. I have 1 friend in town. My main social network were work colleagues but I retired and they are all in DC. I am very isolated and wondering why I didn’t just go even though I doubted it would have been much fun.

I guess, I’m just posting to put this out where others will understand. My husband is compassionate and supportive, but let’s face it, he doesn’t “get it”. How many of you self-isolate, or how have you moved past it?

"Josh Staub created the app as a labor of love alongside Deaf animators, engineers, and other collaborators."

“I want it to be very clear that learning from a Deaf ASL teacher is by far the best way to learn the language,” Staub told Upworthy.

Question for everyone who uses CIs and the Nucleus Smart app:

I'm currently facing the following problem: I can't open the app anymore. I need IO18, but I can't install it.

I really rely on the app, especially the “reduce background noise” feature (in noisy environments).

Does anyone have any ideas on how to activate the background noise feature some other way? Does anyone know of other apps that can be used instead?

For the other settings, I use the iPhone’s built-in settings anyway, but that feature for background noise isn’t available there…

It’s frustrating how much social participation depends on the smartphone’s current operating system…

I’m grateful for any tips <3

🤟Recently, there’s been lots of conversations about deaf dating hearing.

It’s my turn to talk about this.

Not all deaf / hearing relationships are bad.

Yes, we have up and downs but it doesn’t meant that our relationship will fail because each of us came from different world.

We always have wonderful time introducing each others to new things.

How you can find somebody special if you only limits people from your own community and world?🤟

Hi! I’m hearing, and I’ve long been interested in ASL and the Deaf culture. I was wondering if there are any movies that are filmed from the Deaf experience. I know there’s quite a few good ones about Deaf folks, but are there any that are filmed to be from a Deaf perspective, ie. little or muffled sound, or maybe sounds that change with the presence or absence of cochlear implants? Or maybe something directed/written/filmed by a Deaf person. Anything of the sort would be really cool! I know there’s a lot of bad portrayals out there, so I’m just curious what yall would recommend.

So today, a provider responded to my paperwork and had her assistant schedule me for an appointment after months of waiting. We talked about the time, location, got things squared away. Before we ended I made sure to request an interpreter. The assistan got cagey and said she would have to talk to the Doctor about that decision, and the call got wrapped up pretty quick. 20 minutes later I got an email saying they were dropping me as a client. The only things different between going ahead and being scheduled and being dropped was an interpreter request that the assistant framed as 'something the doctor would need to weigh in on.'

Do I have any recourse at all? I called and demanded why, no real reason was given.

Just a random thought I've been mulling over lately. I've noticed that almost all the Deaf and HoH people I know tend not to request interpreters for informal social or networking events (and as a result, end up skipping them altogether).

I'm really curious about the main reasons behind this. Building relationships with peers, colleagues, and supervisors is so critical for career development, and simply knowing the people around you better makes the day-to-day work environment way more comfortable. From a career standpoint, being there definitely seems beneficial.

Part of why this is on my mind is because I try to go, and sometimes literally have to fight with the accessibility coordinator just to get an interpreter approved for these kinds of events. It makes me wonder if people are just burned out from the administrative pushback (since social events are rarely treated as a priority), feel like these events aren't worth the trouble, or if there simply isn't a common norm yet around bringing interpreters into mostly hearing social spaces. Or maybe there are other factors I'm completely missing.

For those of you in school or the workforce: do you request interpreters for professional social/ networking events? If not, what's the main reason you skip them?

Kaylee Hottle sadly died in July. Her final role was set to be in the upcoming film What Doesn't Kill Us alongside Marvel star Alaqua Cox. Now her sister has taken over, the producer/writer says he wanted to maintain the representation both on and off screen

I'm hearing, and English isn't my first language, so I'm posting here as an ally, not speaking for Deaf viewers — please tell me if my wording is off.

At NYFF and MoMA, open captions are only on select screenings. For most English-language films, the alternative is a borrowed cup-holder device. I'm asking them to start with Q&A screenings, especially for films that only screen once or twice a year, because there's no second chance to catch them.

Petition here, happy to hear feedback: https://www.change.org/p/make-open-captions-the-standard-for-english-language-films-at-nyff-and-moma

Hello, I was hoping I could gain some insight into learning ASL and potentially Spanish sign language if the dialects are different enough. Are there any good apps or websites I should turn to that are budget friendly? I'm not in a great spot to drop a ton of money. Any and all advice is appreciated!

I grew up in a hearing family, was "diagnosed" with a "mild, cookie bite hearing loss" when I was 4 years old. The audiologist recommended hearing aids, so my parents bought a pair of CICs and I refused to wear them. The fact that you could still see them in my ears was mortifying to me. I was 5.

The "hearing loss" progressed throughout my life. We revisited hearing aids when I was 11. Got another pair of CICs. I wore them in class a few times, but then this girl I liked saw them and asked, "What's in your ear?" And I was, again, mortified. I never wore them again. I was always socially clumsy, shy, and pretty enraged growing up. I felt like I was constantly left out and it infuriated me. I never dated anyone throughout all of grade/high school. And I NEVER told anyone about my "hearing loss."

In college, I really noticed the impact because I was always around people. In grade school, you go to school and then you come home and I would isolate when I was at home. But in college, you have roommates, there is a lot more social activity, etc. Plus with the "progressive" nature, I perhaps felt its impact more strongly. I started to tell people about my "hearing loss," mostly because I was in such close contact. I told my closest friends and my roommate, etc.

I was so depressed in college. I found drugs (weed, mostly) and got super into that. (Didn't love drinking.) I would skip class and play video games alone or stay up until 6am smoking weed, binge watching shows (before streaming, I was OG binging), etc. I did exceptionally well in grade school and high school and my test scores were really high, I took a lot of AP classes and basically tested out of my Freshman year of college. In college, as an engineering major, I got Cs, Ds, and Fs the first year or so. Part of it was I was in a lot of sophomore classes so I had no real "on ramp" introduction of how to "be in college." Sophomore year I did better, I think because at the very least I was accustomed to college life a bit more. Junior year, I went on anti-depressants and I decided to get hearing aids, another pair of CICs, but I only wore them for class, never socially. I lost my virginity Junior year but still never had a girlfriend. I dropped out second semester Junior year. Senior year, I re-enrolled but then dropped out again and left school after first semester, moved back home.

Back home, I got a job waiting tables and met my first girlfriend. I was wearing my CICs more often now -- I literally had to as I waited tables for a living lol -- and I was dating this person I predictably fell utterly in love with. We broke up after 6 months and it shattered me. I started a series of very unhealthy patterns re: relationships in which I would become obsessive and try to get back together, only for it to go the same way again. It is a really dark part of my life that I regret. It's not an excuse, but I was so miserable and mired in such unfathomable darkness, it all feels like a blur.

I started performing stand-up comedy. I think it was a way for me to express myself in a world where I felt like I couldn't. It was also nice because I got to talk and the audience listened. (Most of the time.) They came out with a new hearing aid called the Lyric (from Insound, later bought by Phonak). What made the Lyric special was that it was 24/7 wearable and it was fully invisible. Literally. It sat inside the ear canal so deeply that nobody could see it. And the battery was housed inside the unit, so you wore them until the battery died and then your AuD replaced them. It was a subscription model. I got those pretty early, around 2008, and sort of never looked back. They allowed me to hear well enough (I thought) and called zero attention to themselves. There were some rough edges with them, but it was by far the best "solution" I had ever seen. The underlying darkness, depression, anxiety didn't go away, but I felt like I had resolved something.

Over the next 15 years, I continued to wear the Lyrics. My "hearing loss" "progressed" and probably took me out of range for Lyrics, but I kept using them anyway. I couldn't fathom a world in which I switched to a different, visible hearing aid. I didn't even let myself think about the prospect of my hearing changing, I pushed it out of mind as much as I could.

In my late 20s, early 30s, I started to be a bit more open about it. I talked about it on stage, I would tell people I wear hearing aids, I would allow myself to say "what?" more often. (I used to not let myself say it. Ever.)

Around 37, I got an ear infection which meant I couldn't use one of the hearing aids. I noticed that with only one, I could barely function in the world. I felt isolated. This also coincided with a bout of tinnitus that nearly ruined my life. As dark as life got, and as depressed as I was throughout it, I was never suicidal. Tinnitus was the closest I had ever come to suicidal ideation. I didn't want to kill myself, but I couldn't imagine living this way for the rest of my life. I was so depressed and alone. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't going outside. I just sat in my apartment (this was post-Covid, so it was like a reprise!). I went to an ENT for both the infection and the tinnitus. The infection eventually cleared up, but the tinnitus remained. The ENT asked me to send him all my hearing tests throughout my life, so I went to gather them. Seeing them all at the same time, looking at the progression, it was a bit shocking. I sent them in and he said, "Your hearing loss is severe." Which is a word I hadn't heard before. He said I was a candidate for a cochlear implant, which was a jaw-dropping thing to hear. He also said that he had no idea it was so severe because of how well I interpolate. I didn't know what he meant, but he explained that I must be figuring out what people are saying in my head. And on some level I knew I did this, but nobody had ever named it before or given it contour. He said, "You must be working really hard."

And I broke. I don't even remember the rest of the appointment. My whole life flashed before my eyes. I was sobbing on the train on the way home. I FaceTimed my best friend's mother (who is a HoH hearing aid user and an AuD herself) and just sobbed 37 years of life out into a phone. Every single moment of my life was suddenly made clear to me. The LABOR it all required, was suddenly laid bare. This thing I denied was suddenly staring at me in the face. I just needed to say it. The thing that I had not wanted to say my entire life. That I had tried so hard to prevent people from knowing...

I am Deaf.

And with that came so much grief and anger, so much crying... but also so much clarity. Oh. I'm deaf! Like if I stopped fighting it, all of this energy got freed up. It was liberating. I felt lighter.

The first thing I did was go to my audiologist and tell him I wanted new hearing aids, the right hearing aids for me. He fit me with a RIC from Phonak and it was night and day. I of course did not realize how much I was missing. I was like a poster child for a hearing aid company... "And then I go hearing aids, and I could hear everything!" Of course it doesn't work like that. But it was a significant improvement. The world sounded so different. I went to lunch with my cousin and I thought we were talking way too loudly lol. Also they helped manage the tinnitus, which never went away but eventually habituated.

I went on like that for about a year. One surprising side effect of these hearing aids was that they were more traditional. Where the Lyrics stayed in your ear 24/7, these hearing aids went on and off. You could wear Lyrics in the shower, to sleep, etc. But these new ones, I had to take them off to shower, to sleep, to charge, etc. I was more often in touch with my Deafness. My body, without hearing aids, was something I experienced more often. And it started to change how I viewed myself, and hearing aids. Hearing aids started to feel like a costume I had to wear in order to matter. In order to be considered valid. In order to be worthy of my friend's or family's time. If I didn't put these on, then what? Who is going to meet me here? Do I just cease to exist? Do these relationships disappear? It was confusing. And it made me sad.

A year after the ENT appointment that rocked my life, I started to think more about the "progressive" nature of my "hearing loss." And I thought, in the future, what if it gets to the point where hearing aids don't allow me to function the way I'm used to. Maybe one day I will "need ASL." So I thought, maybe I'll start learning it now, might as well get a head start.

I signed up for a class, 6 weeks, low commitment. I knew zero ASL beforehand. (Maybe I knew half the letters?) I was so Deaf-ignorant, I even emailed the school and said, "Your website says there is no voicing in class. How will people who don't know any sign language be able to learn?" They emailed me back, very nicely, and said, "Don't worry, we use slides and everyone comes in with little to zero knowledge!" I felt more comfortable.

I showed up for the class and it was a bit strange to see a purely Deaf space. Chairs in circles. Multiple classes in the same room. A flashing light doorbell. I had ZERO Deaf friends and had never really met a Deaf person before.

From minute one, from the first sign... I was completely transformed. Within 10 minutes, I thought to myself, "I think this is going to change my life." And that was an understatement. I fell so utterly in love with this language. It was all I talked about. All I wanted to do. I studied as much as I could online. I started going to Deaf/ASL events. ASL museum tours. ASL happy hours. ASL interpreted shows. I was in way over my head, but the more I went, the more I improved. I started taking multiple classes at the same time. I signed to myself as I walked around town. As I sat on the couch and watched TV. I met Deaf and HoH people. I met hearing signers, interpreters, CoDA, etc. After 6 months or so, the school asked ME to teach Level 1. I was rapidly improving and I couldn't get enough.

To be in a space where I didn't have to work to be there... I can't explain what that did to me. At ASL social events, it was the first time I never noticed time passing. I wasn't scanning the room or noticing things around me; I was so locked in on the conversation, the person I was chatting with. I was a fundamentally different person. I didn't even know this was possible. I never dreamed something like this could exist.

The class also included bits about Deaf history, Deaf culture, Deaf identity, Deaf awareness, etc. One slide said, "Deaf children who grow up without access to sign language or the Deaf community can feel depressed or have low self esteem." All the hearing students were like, "Oh interesting." And I was like... sobbing.

It fundamentally reshaped how I saw myself. My identity. I feel like myself in ASL even though I'm so new to it. I didn't realize how MUCH I was carrying in order to function in hearing spaces, and how much that was interfering with my ability to connect. To relate. To exist.

I've spent the last 2.5 years immersing myself as much as I can in ASL. I still lead a bit of a "split life." Because I am so adept at "passing" I have a lot of tension around it. I have friends, family, work... relationships that are all built on my "passing." But I don't want to pass hardly ever anymore. So the inertia of my life is in conflict with the momentum of my identity. This is something I am trying to resolve, but my goodness, I am so glad to be here rather than the darkness I was in for so long.

My point is not that everyone has to go "full Deaf" or "hate the hearing world!" My point is that without sign language, without knowing other Deaf/HoH folks, I could never understand myself. Without giving myself the exposure to what life is like when you DON'T have to work, or pass, or carry the burden of interpolation... I would never know how much it was costing me. I would never be able to CHOOSE how I want to show up in the world. And I think it is a birth right for every Deaf or Hard of Hearing person, at any age, to be able to CHOOSE. And sign language is the key that makes that choice possible. To be denied it or to be without it is to be denied choice, to be denied agency, to be denied IDENTITY. And I don't care who you are, nobody on earth deserves the pain of that level of denial. You deserve to decide what it means to be YOU.

TL;DR -- Sign language is the most beautiful thing on the planet.

Hey everyone! 💜🏳️‍⚧️🤟

I recently created a Discord server for Deaf/Hard of Hearing and trans people!

I got the idea after seeing a discussion on here and realizing how difficult it can be to find a community where these experiences overlap.

It's a brand new server, and I'm hoping to create a welcoming space to connect, share experiences, support each other, or just hang out and make friends!

The server is mainly aimed at adults, but younger people who meet Discord's age requirements are welcome too. Allies are also welcome! 🌈

Feel free to join or share with anyone who might be interested!

🔗 https://discord.gg/D4zUFe6Zg

PS: Sorry if this post isn't allowed!

Twice now in 2 weeks I’ve had migraine inducing hearing fatigue, and I’m starting to get to the point where it’s pissing me off. I wear my hearing aids all day every day and I’m in a mostly quiet environment most of the day.

What’s worse is that emotionally and mentally I feel okay until the physical symptoms start to appear, and then I have to excuse myself to put my hearing aids away and tell everyone that I need some alone time (with peace, quiet, and 1000mg Tylenol)

I’m so over it 🫩

I feel kinda lonely in both my identities (HoH + ftm) - I have few trans friends and only one hoh friend (but she's not a SL user) but none who are both and it just feels kinda isolating :/

Anyone trans and Deaf/HoH?

Please tell me about your experiences and something positive please?

I just kinda want some hope :')

I know there is no “hearing loss,” only “Deaf gain!” I have an amazing Deaf community where I live. But I work only with hearing people and I’m feeling so isolated.

Today is my first day wearing them at work. They’re super helpful, but not perfect. Even with them on and turned all the way up, I still only understand a fraction of what is said in conversation. If someone mumbles something across the room, I don’t hear it but my hearing colleagues know exactly what they said and can respond to it.

Even with these devices in my ears that cost an entire month’s paycheck out of pocket, I STILL need to deal with the obstacles that come with being a non-hearing person. I knew going in that they won’t make me hearing, but I still feel completely hopeless. My one way out from all the challenges and frustrations of Deafness wasn’t a way out, I’m still very much in it.

I guess I’m just having an existential crisis. I will be Deaf for the rest of my existence. This is as good as my hearing will ever get. I know Deafness should be celebrated. But deep down, it’s a horribly depressing feeling that I am living without one of the senses that is necessary to function in society.

Anyone else ever get these feelings? How did you deal with them?

Hey all. I could really use some kind words.

36yo Dad to two toddlers. I recently became completely deaf (4 weeks ago) due to an illness, and I'm just struggling. I have a great counselor/therapist, my family and Wife are SUPER supportive, honestly I'm amazingly blessed by how people have been coming together for me.

But I'm just battling not being able to talk well with my kids and missing out on what we bonded over most (music).

Due to the speed at which I lost my hearing (over the course of only 3 days) we were not able to really prepare anything. We are diving into ASL but it's just not possible to be fast enough for many things. My wife and I have learned enough to do very basic talking and I'm really good at reading lips. So with her, things have gotten much better for her and I.

But with my kids, they mumble and the younger one is just starting to form talking sentences, let alone now adding ASL to his list of things to learn. I can't read their lips and they still struggle to grasp that they can't get my attention verbally. They have been so amazing at wanting to learn ASL, but this interim "gap" before they learn more is just so hard on all of us.

They throw sad tantrums they can't communicate with me, that I dont know what they need. And it just hurts my heart. They are taking on a huge new mental burden on my behalf.

I KNOW it will get better. But I guess I just needed to write this out and maybe seek some encouragement that things will work out. I've come to terms with loosing my hearing. But seeing other people (my wife and kids) struggle hurts me.

hi! im HoH. ive recently started accepting and requesting accommodations that make my life less difficult

im a community organizer, im try to find an interpreter for this sunday for an organizing meeting because the last one i did without an interpreter hurt (metaphorically) MUCH. much much short notice so im looking into virtual interpreters who you dont need to book far in advance for. there seems to be many different services that might offer this in this context but it seems like a lot of them are for companies and like stores and stuff, which i am not. i am also relatively poor and cant afford to pay a whole bunch. my girlfriend sometimes interprets for me but they are not available. i saw a Deafie on instagram recently posting about using the convo app and how it was helpful for her. has anyone experience this service??? how do i use virtual interpreters, how do they work? help 🥲

thank you in advance <3 sorry if this question has gotten asked a lot, thank you for your patience!

is it easier to follow if captions are able to be placed anywhere in the screen you want?

I review smart glasses and AI wearables every week for a show called Proof Cases. I'm Deaf.
Halliday sent me their second gen, the G2, to test. The thing that actually matters: on the first gen, the caption light sat off to the side, so I had to look away to read it. You'd think I'd stopped listening. On the G2, the words sit on the lens, both eyes. I can hold eye contact and read at the same time. That's the first time any pair of glasses has done that for me.

Then I hit the part that still isn't fixed. Captions run on a credit system. Translation is completely free. I timed both: captions took about nine seconds to catch up, translation took about ten, doing twice the work. So the piece that actually helps Deaf users costs money, and the piece that doesn't is free.

Disclosure: review unit provided by Halliday. They didn't ask for this episode and had no editorial input.

I find it bizarre that many Deaf American students at Gallaudet University are not exactly welcoming to international students who come to study at the university unless they are from Canada, Europe, or those already familiar with ASL and American culture and they are usually White. American students at other colleges and universities in the United States have no problem interacting with international students so with Gallaudet University being the only university for the Deaf and HoH in the world, I find this behaviour of Deaf American students to be astounding even to hearing Americans that I often wonder what exactly Gallaudet is supposed to be other than it being a party college. They seem to not mind meeting Deaf people in other countries and learn their language and culture, but at Gallaudet University? Most of them are not interested in getting to know international students and are choosy about it. I wonder if they behave that way due to Gallaudet's social hierarchy mentioned on Deaf U.

Have any of you gone to deaf colleges, if so what was your experience? I’ve been losing more and more of my hearing and know no other deaf people in my life. It’s really lonely and I sometimes consider transferring to a deaf college where I could know more people like me who have the same struggles